Author's Note: Holy hell. It has been a rough couple of months with work and life problems, as well as drama in the fandom on tumblr, and it made my motivation and muse leave me. I tried to sit and force it and everything I wrote was shit. That said, due to some amazingly positive people on tumblr and in my life, I was finally able to get back in the swing of things. I reviewed my timeline for this fic, and I estimate there are about 12 chapters left. I can't believe how close I am to the end. I have been working on this for almost three years and I don't know what I'll do when it's finished. It's quite bittersweet.

To those who have added this to their favorite and follow list, THANK YOU. Your support, quiet or not, means a ton to me. To those who reviewed the last chapter: Impslave, mirxu, kynlei, MizDirected, Kirabaros, Jules Hawk, Vorcha Girl, HeroInTraining, Shannon, Simone The Reaper Hunter, Heraldcmdr, dmg2012, JJ, and Eris Jade Black. I can't begin to tell you what your time and words have meant to me as I struggled these last few weeks. I adore each and every word you took the time to write. Thank you.

Jules Hawk and Vorcha Girl, I do not know where I would be without you. THANK YOU.

Now, with no further delay ... Enjoy. - TLC

Chapter Eighty-Six

Twin cones of light stretched out before him but the illumination died before doing its job. In fact, the light seemed to make the darkness more oppressive and all consuming than less. The monitors on the diving mech were difficult to read; Kaidan reached the conclusion they were more than likely malfunctioning. He rubbed the back of his neck as he began to reconsider his decision to use the mech at all.

Surely sinking to the bottom of an alien ocean seeking an ancient race that may or may not even help with the war was a brilliant plan. What would Shepard say? Kaidan chuckled in spite of himself; of course, Shepard would have used the diving mech. The trip to 2181 Despoina seemed longer than it was. He had to assume this was because he spent it in their cabin, alone. He had considered staying elsewhere, but then he lost the privacy afforded by their space. So, he spent the night on the couch, with his back to their empty bed.

When they finally reached the planet, EDI alerted them that the reapers were already present. Kaidan couldn't help but think that it was their luck, that anything and everything was going to happen to stop him from getting back to the Citadel – to Sloan – quickly. He was just so … tired. James, Garrus, and he had loaded into the shuttle and Cortez had taken them planet side. He gave Joker instructions to remain nearby, in stealth mode, to avoid being detected by reaper forces.

The planet was mostly water, and as they approached the surface, they noticed there were structures floating among the waves. The signal coming from beneath them. "It's under water?" Kaidan asked, his voice heavy with frustration.

"Yes, sir, but we should still be able to reach it. The Kodiak is specced for thousands of atmospheres, though I've never tested them," Cortez answered and Kaidan thought for a moment he detected a hint of excitement from the pilot.

"Bring us in Cortez," Kaidan ordered with a hand on his shoulder and the pilot nodded and began his descent.

The shuttle shook suddenly and the hair stood up all over Kaidan's body. It was almost as if a powerful biotic had discharged near him. Within a second, alarms on the shuttle blared, warning lights flashed as James and Garrus strapped themselves down. Kaidan gripped Cortez's seat as his eyes moved over the glowing control panel. "We've been hit with some kind of pulse! Systems are down!"

"Get us to one of those structures, Cortez!" Kaidan shouted, planting his feet and squaring his shoulders.

"Brace for impact!" Cortez shouted seconds before the shuttle crash landed on the debris littering the ocean. Kaidan's body jarred at the force. He lost his grip on Cortez's seat. His feet flew over his head and he slid into the wall of the shuttle with a grunt. He tucked his arms and legs in as close to himself as he could, his armor scraping on the floor. The shuttle's contents continued to bounce as it lost its battle with gravity. Metal scraped metal, shrieking, as the shuttle finally came to a stop. Kaidan sat up and allowed himself a moment to assess possible injuries. At most he'd have scrapes or bruises.

He stood. "Everyone okay?" He received quick nods and then went to Cortez. "How's the shuttle?"

"I'm running diagnostics. I'll see if I can get power restored," Cortez answered as his hands flew quickly and efficiently over the controls. Kaidan nodded, knowing the shuttle was in good hands, and moved with James and Garrus to look around their landing space.

It didn't take long for them to realize the structures they had landed on were actually downed ships. Ancient, long lost warships that had vanished during their missions. It seemed as if that pulse, the pulse that grounded the shuttle, was Leviathan's last line of defense. Could it be true? Was Bryson right? Could Leviathan stop the reapers?

They didn't have long to consider it as they found themselves overrun by reaper forces. Husks, cannibals, marauders, and brutes focused on their position and stole the trio's attention. Their sole mission now was to protect Cortez and the shuttle or they'd never get off this planet. As Kaidan fought beside Garrus and James, he found it was easy to lose himself in the fight. He let himself forget everything but the feel of his rifle in his hands, the hum of his amp at the base of his skull, and the heat of his 'tool at his wrist.

It was mechanical, the way he fought, years of experience allowing himself to rely on muscle memory and trust in his teammates. As Cortez got the shuttle airborne to offer additional support, he wondered if this was how Shepard felt; if this was why she continued to talk about retiring when they – if they? – if they won the war.

The shuttle was only in the air for a moment or two before the navigation scrambled and it hit the deck again, a decent distance from their position. Kaidan sighed as they rushed to Cortez and the Kodiak. They needed to keep the shuttle safe if they were going to get off this planet. Kaidan knew he couldn't risk bringing the Normandy within striking distance of the pulse. The last thing they needed was the Normandy joining this graveyard.

When the final reaper troop fell, Kaidan turned his attention to Cortez. Cortez explained the pulse was going to continue to take them out until they could disable it, but that would require them finding Leviathan. "Okay, but without the Kodiak, how are we supposed to find Leviathan?" James asked, as he stood and fired a lone shot at a remaining husk. Its head exploded in a spectacular shower of gore and tech before he dropped down with them again.

"There's a diving mech," Garrus pointed out, and Cortez and Kaidan moved to inspect the machine. It was clear the salt water hadn't had much of an effect on the mech. James remained on the lookout while it took the combined tech knowledge of Garrus, Kaidan, and Cortez to get the mech out and operational.

Kaidan moved to climb in, and James gripped his arm, pausing him progress into the machine. "You sure about this, Viejo? I don't want to be the one to have to tell Lola we lost you at the bottom of some alien ocean."

Kaidan said nothing, the sentiment was kind. Kaidan knew it was James' way of making sure he was okay, and well enough for the dive. Kaidan also knew he couldn't ask anyone else to make the trip. He had to do it, just as Shepard would. "That's okay, Vega, Garrus will tell her," Kaidan answered as he finished his climb into the mech. He settled in, refusing to acknowledge the churning nerves in his gut as he secured himself and started the systems.

Garrus scoffed. "You better write your farewell message, cause I sure as hell won't be the one delivering any kind of emotional goodbye."

Kaidan chuckled. "Thanks, buddy." He shook his head as the mech's door closed over him. He ignored the scent of overheated metal and crude oil as the air cycled itself. The mech groaned as it followed his commands and stepped towards the edge of the downed ship. With one last second of eye contact with Garrus, he knew the Turian was accepting command and would make the decision to leave Kaidan behind if he had to – if Kaidan didn't come back.

Only moments after the mech stepped off the structure and sunk beneath the waves did he lose communication with his team. The instruments on the machine's dash were non-functional. His ears popped as he moved closer and closer to the planet's core. He wondered just how far he'd fall before he hit bottom. Thankfully, the tracking signal for Leviathan grew stronger and he knew he was getting closer, even as he sunk into the inky depths of the ocean.

It wasn't until the increased pressure on the diving mech caused the window before him to crack that Kaidan's anxiety truly took hold. He swallowed hard and shifted in his seat as his hands grew clammy and cold. He took a deep breath, letting it out on a hum. "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming…," he muttered to himself as he waited for the mech to hit the ocean floor.

Kaidan had no way to know how much time had passed, but eventually the open ocean around him seemed to brighten. It took him a minute to realize that it wasn't actually brighter, but the light was reflecting off peaks in the ocean floor. He braced himself for the impact as the mech finally settled on solid ground. He was momentarily disappointed that the gauges were broken; he would have liked to know his depth. Calculating the pressure would have given his mind something to do.

He moved the mech forward, continuing to close the distance between himself and the signal from Leviathan. He shot off an underwater flare every few paces to help illuminate his way. Iridescent jellyfish and other organisms flitted about before him. He wondered how long it had been since this area had seen light. Vegetation of some kind was growing and he attempted to maneuver around it; trying to disturb as little of it as possible.

The signal was still registering beneath him. As the mech continued forward and he searched for a way down, he shut down non-essential functions. He wasn't sure how much power the thrusters would need to get him back to the surface and he wasn't ready to risk it. He chilled instantly when the heat kicked off, his teeth chattered and he wiped at the window, clearing the condensation as best he could. The heat would turn on again if his core temperature got too low, but for now, he would continue without it.

Each time the mech dropped down lower, the pressure in his head increased. He swallowed hard to help ease the discomfort in his ears. He feared the result of this trip would be a migraine. He hoped that was all it was. He reached what he expected to be the final drop, and landed in a cloud of displaced sediment from the floor. When it cleared, he found the probe - intact. As he passed it he realized he was now walking blind. He had no way to know how much further he'd have to go before he found anything. He had no way to know if he had enough oxygen to sustain him for the rest of the excursion. He had no way to know if he had enough power to get the mech back to the surface.

Even if he found something, he could die down here, and the help he came searching for would die along with him.

He forced the morbid thoughts from his mind. He knew if he let himself worry about the possibilities he'd panic. He needed to believe he would be out of here and soon. Just as the thoughts were getting too heavy, the ground shook. Dust from the ocean floor rose up around him obscuring his line of sight. He muttered a few curse words as his heart leapt to his throat. He did not want to die down here.

As the water before him cleared, his chest clenched and his jaw dropped. His heart raced and the mech moved back as if on its own. Rising before him was, what had to be, Leviathan – and it looked like a goddamn reaper. Though, its lines we're smooth. It wasn't mechanic. It was organic.

Kaidan swallowed hard, wiping a hand over his brow and leaning forward to look up at the being that seemed to fill all of the space before him. It uttered a warning. A statement spoken directly into Kaidan's mind. "You have come too far." Kaidan winced, his eyes closed for a moment as the ancient being forced its way further into his mind.

"I needed to find you; we needed to find you," Kaidan answered, and for a moment he wasn't sure Leviathan heard him. It wasn't like Kaidan could communicate telepathically.

"You breached the darkness. You do not belong." Its voice was a sinister whisper, a gruff breath at his ear. Gooseflesh that had nothing to do with the chilled cockpit of the mech rose on Kaidan's skin as he communicated with it.

"The Brysons believe you killed a Reaper. Is that right? Did you? Can you?" Kaidan asked, refusing to retreat.

"We can. We have," it confirmed their study and Kaidan felt a rush of excitement mixed with his guilt. He knew Ann and her father would have loved this – the fruits of their labor – and he had to believe their deaths were worth it. Sacrifice the few for the many, right? Leviathan would help them; it had to.

"Why? Aren't you some kind of reaper?" Kaidan asked, Leviathan's form not lost on him.

"They are echoes of what was. Of us." Its answers were starting to creep under Kaidan's skin. Anger burned in his core at the lack of a direct answer. He took a deep breath.

"What are you?" Kaidan made his question plain, hoping for an answer to match.

"Something more," Leviathan's answer was vague and frustrating and Kaidan's temper grew shorter by the second. His air was getting thin and his worry that he wouldn't make it back to the surface was slowly changing into true fear.

He grunted. "We're at war up there and you're hiding down here. Why? You can stop the reapers. Why are you hiding?"

"There is no stopping them. There is no war. Only the harvest," Leviathan answered dismissively as it continued to root around in Kaidan's memories. He felt it. It was an odd sensation. Like something crawling through his brain. Cold, slick, and leaving a trail behind it. He shuddered.

"Bullshit. I want answers. Real answers," Kaidan demanded. Leviathan began to drone on, and for a second Kaidan wondered if it missed having someone to talk to. Leviathan wasn't some kind of reaper. It wasn't even a reaper killer. The opposite, in fact. It was the creator of the reapers. Leviathan were an apex race far greater than the Prothean had ever been. When the species they controlled began to create artificial intelligence, they created the first reaper – Harbinger – and eventually, the reapers turned their attention to Leviathan; so began the cycle. "Help us stop it." Kaidan was insistent. They needed all the help they could get and he couldn't understand why Leviathan wouldn't want to help them, to end the cycle of destruction they started.

"None have possessed the power to end the war. You think your kind is the first to try?" It paused, and Kaidan had the sensation it was considering him, considering them, humanity. "Yet, something is different this time. Your … mate. We have witnessed her actions in this cycle. Sovereign. The Collectors. The Reapers know the name Shepard, and they fear it. I want to know why."

Kaidan tasted copper and felt the familiar warm trickle of blood down his face. He wiped the back of his hand over his nose and mouth as he focused on Leviathan. "How? How do you know this?"

"We have been watching, waiting, through the artifacts."

"Why? Why the harvest?"

"Like a cleansing fire, the harvest is meant to preserve life," Leviathan answered simply, and Kaidan felt a cold chill trace his spine. He wasn't a religious man, but he had the distinct impression Leviathan considered themselves godlike. Perhaps they were gods. They were creators and destroyers of life. Isn't that who humanity had prayed to for centuries? That thought was more than he could handle, and all he wanted right now was a reassurance that they would help.

"You're here, even though the reapers attempted to destroy you. You sought to survive and you did. Will you help us?" Kaidan asked simply. The burning in his chest, he was sure, was from lack of oxygen. It was doubtful he would make it to the surface. He needed to secure their help or his trip down would be for naught.

"The one you call Shepard. She is an anomaly, but it is not enough. She needs … more. She needs support. She needs a connection. She needs … hope. I have searched your mind. You know I have. You felt it," Leviathan turned its attention away from Kaidan who ached to begin his ascent. "Her victories are more than products of chance. We will fight. As will she. As will you. You will want to take her place. You can't. She is the anomaly. She is the key. We will watch. We will fight when you are ready."

Kaidan felt its presence snap away from him like a broken rubber band. His mind spun and alarms sounded in the mech. His hands flew over the controls as his vision blurred. He struggled to maintain consciousness as the mech started its rapid ascent. The air was thin and the lights blinked out. He saw nothing. Pain shot from his amp, blinding him. Nausea rolled through his body as the migraine hit him full force and with no warning.

He wasn't sure how long he rose; he was sure he blacked out. The mech opened on the downed ship. He spotted James and Garrus in cover as two brutes made their way towards them. He fell from the mech.

Gunfire.

Smoke.

He tried to get to them, but fell to his hands and knees. Salt water and vomit splashed his face as he retched.

He was on his back staring at the cloudy sky; then, the inside of the shuttle. Black spots filled his vision before he fell into a painless slumber.

He was warm. He wasn't sure he could remember the last time he was warm. He was in a soft bed. He would always know the familiar beep of a heart monitor, and recognize the stinging scent of antiseptic. It took him another second to register the weight of a hand in his and the dip in the bed. He struggled to open his eyes. He managed, and he was so glad he did. His gaze landed on the most beautiful sight he'd ever seen.

Dark brown hair falling over freckled cheeks. Long lashes hiding stunning cerulean eyes. Full red lips, slightly parted as she slept. He'd made it back to Huerta; though, he wasn't sure how. He cleared his throat, shifting gently and it woke her. Her eyes blinked open and a brilliant smile danced on her lips as her eyes met his. "Hey," she whispered, her hand reaching out and cupping his cheek. "You're up."

"Missed you," he answered, his throat hoarse and his eyes fell closed as emotion choked him. He turned his face away from her, not wanting her to see him break. She pulled the blanket back and climbed into bed with him. He moved to make as much room for her as he could – not that she needed much as she had no problem resting on him. He accepted her weight easily. She let her head rest on his chest and his arms found their home around her.

He held her tight, pressing her as close to him as he could without causing either of them pain. Tears spilled down his cheeks, hot and angry. She let her hand gently caress his chest as the sobs heaved silently. She didn't ignore his emotion, she just held him and let him hold her. She let her presence reassure him. She tilted her head and pressed gentle kisses to his neck and jaw. He knew his stubble would scratch her lips. He knew his tears would taint her kiss. He liked that she didn't care. She pulled herself closer, wrapping herself around him.

He wasn't sure how long they lay there, holding each other while he cried. When his sobs quieted and his tears slowed, she pulled back and her gaze found his. She let her hand trace his face, wiping away a stray tear and drying his cheeks. She shifted and pressed her lips to his. He reached one hand up and held her face as she kissed him, slow and languid, like they had no place better to be.

Perhaps, they didn't. At least, not this second.

When she ended the kiss, their breathing matched – short, shallow breaths that struggled to keep up with their racing hearts. "You okay?" her voice was rough, and her eyes glassy.

"Yes, no … I don't know," he spoke honestly. Physically, he felt fine; but mentally, he was exhausted. "I think I just… I need a few days," he admitted, his fingers running through her hair, tucking it behind her ear. "I need a few days where I go to sleep with you, and I wake up with you." A sad smile was her answer as her fingers found their own path over his face and into his hair. "I need a few days not fighting this goddamn war."

"Okay," she answered simply, kissing him again, quicker this time but no less honest. "Okay, we'll take a few days," she nodded quickly, keeping her eyes on his as she pressed her forehead to his. He offered her a grateful smile. She kissed him one last time before shifting down and letting herself rest again, her head on his chest. He could feel her heartbeat through her back. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head and sighed. A content smile played on his lips as he slipped back to sleep.