Author's Note: Still here. Hope you are too. This is a shorter chapter, but there will be more soon. Enjoy. TLC
Chapter Ninety-Six
Kaidan wasn't sure he'd ever wanted time to slow down more than he did right now. Months, no years, of fighting, negotiating, bargaining, and sacrificing brought them to this sunny morning in London. It all came down the next few hours. All or nothing – it would be over, one way or another, in a very short amount of time. As Shepard made her way towards the front of the group, pausing only to exchange a few hushed words with Javik, he watched her. His stomach twisted uneasily. He didn't miss the Prothean's eyes darting to him as Shepard left his side, but he put it out of his mind as she took her spot at the front of the line.
Instinct grabbed him and he moved behind her. He felt her breath catch as his hands moved to rest on her hips. He ran them up the seams of her armor, checking the clasps, making sure everything was secure. He could hear the smile on her face when she spoke quietly, "Watch your hands, Major." He let a breath escape his throat and he wasn't sure if it was a chuckle or a broken sob. She caught his hand when he tapped her shoulder and her fingers tightened on his. She released her hold and turned towards him. Her eyes shone bright behind her visor. She signaled and he turned his back to her. He ignored the tremble in her hands as she checked the seams. She tapped his shoulder, and by the time he turned, her back was to him. He closed his eyes, and breathed deep. He allowed himself to focus on the feel of his lungs expanding and deflating, on the stretch of his diaphragm. Time seemed to slow, if only for a few seconds.
As they stood taking their final easy breaths, Kaidan let himself feel his heart beat in his chests, looking - one last time - to the deep blue burning orange beauty of an Earth sunrise, he could feel the sweat mixing with the grime beneath his collar and he just wanted to run. Run as fast as he could – in the other direction. He'd anticipated the anxiety and nerves as he waited for Shepard's final signal to charge. What he hadn't expected was the gut churning fear that gripped him in its iron fist.
As bile burned at the back of his throat, Shepard dropped her gloved fist and pointed forward.
Battle cries rose around him as the first wave of team Hammer shot forward. Shepard looked at him once, a quick glance over her shoulder before taking off. Kaidan followed. He'd always said he'd follow her anywhere. This day, he got to prove it. His boots hit the ground hard, and he weaved through broken bodies. Ignoring familiar faces among the rubble beneath his feet. He looked up just in time to swing the butt of his rifle to connect with the head of a husk as it grasped at his arm.
He reached into himself and felt his amp ignite at the back of his head, he Threw his power out and watched as half a dozen husks were lifted from their feet and knocked back clearing the way for them momentarily. He lifted his rifle and pulled the trigger without bothering to check the scope. The spray of bullets found their home either in the encroaching husks or the broken pieces of building they were oozing out of.
He thought of Eden Prime, Horizon, and Sanctuary. He thought he'd seen a lot of husks in one place before but this… this was beyond anything he could have imagined. Beyond anything he would have allowed himself to consider. The numbers from the reports – the death tolls – flashed before his eyes. He'd scarcely believed the number as it multiplied exponentially. Yet, here it was. Here was the number. From black and white on the page to blue and grey and moaning as it tried to rip his throat out.
He shook the thoughts form his head, but he never stopped running. By now, Shepard was a few steps ahead of him and he could feel it every time she gathered her biotic energy. Shockwave after Nova after Shockwave to clear their path. It pulled him forward, drew him to her, like it always had. So, when he felt the power seize, he had just that second's notice before the wail of a banshee shook the ground to their right. Then, another. From behind.
Her footing faltered, just for a second, and if he hadn't been so tuned to her, he would have missed it. The near stumble threw off her timing, and a husk managed to get its hands on her neck. It pried at her helmet. He ran up behind her and swung his rifle like he was Babe Ruth batting for the fences. The husk's head collapsed on itself with a wet, squelching thud. She said nothing; brief eye contact showed the ferocity and anger raging through her. She moved forward, always forward. They didn't have time to think about what was coming up behind them, or from the side. Tunnel vision. Singular focus.
It was how they would win.
He was so focused on the goal – the beam – as it neared, hearing her voice over the comm startled him. His rifle rang out forcing husks further away. He heard it again, "Javik!" He didn't have time to realize what was happening. He felt it hit like a fist to his gut, followed by running full force into a brick wall. His breath escaped in a rush. A cool tingle covered his skin. The hair on his body – everywhere on his body – stood on end. His vision tinted in green and it was then he knew what had stopped him so efficiently. Javik had put him in a stasis.
"Shepard!?" He called out and watched as she continued to run. Panic. Pure, unadulterated panic settled in quickly as he realized what was happening – as he watched her run away from him. His heart stopped, before jumping to his throat. He called her name again as he watched her go. Blinking, he was back on the Citadel, watching Saren die as the floor collapsed around them and Shepard fell from his view. Then back on the Normandy, hearing her order him to leave, feeling the reluctance to follow an order – but following, and running from her. Then Alchera, staring at the sky as flaming debris fell around them. Then Horizon, trapped by the collector's swarm. A helplessness settled over him, harder and thicker than Javik's stasis. He blinked tears from his eyes. There was nothing he could do, only beg, "Shepard, don't … Sloan, please, don't leave me behind, please."
"I'm sorry, Kaidan," she whispered. Her ragged breathing breaking her voice before the comm cut off.
He vocalized his pain, a scream, or a sob - it was hard to tell as it ripped from his chest burning his throat as it escaped. The beam's light flashed bright seconds later, and the barrier fell around him. He hit the ground hard, and it was then he realized he'd been screaming – and crying. He scrambled to his feet, stumbling in his desperation to follow her. She couldn't leave him again. They had a plan, an agreement. They were supposed to go out together. An explosion went off behind him. He felt the heat of it – even through his armor - seconds before he was lifted off his feet. He landed hard a few meters away. The breath rushed from his lungs on impact. Everything was too quiet; ringing filled his head and his vision blurred. He struggled to catch his breath.
He rolled to his back just in time to see the mako coming. Mako's weren't supposed to be airborne. He didn't understand what was happening until the mako landed.
Pain. White hot fire erupted all over his body. Nothing made sense. Disoriented, his hands shook as he reached to push at the mako crushing his legs. His suits internal alarms were firing and he couldn't think through the noise. Tears, sweat, and blood covered his face, and then Liara was there. She removed his helmet, the visor broken, her bright blue eyes finding his. She took his hand, and he gripped tight. She'll be a good mom. He heard James shouting orders about moving the Mako and getting Kaidan out of there. He'd be a good N7.
"Sloan…? She's… where is… Sloan?" Kaidan couldn't think straight. Then, the pain was gone. Everything was gone. His body went slack and he couldn't help but look to the bright blue sky. Smoke danced with the clouds. His ears rang, his entire body buzzed. Still, he could swear he heard birds chirping, singing mocking songs over the banshee cries and the groans of the husks. He was cold, and tired. So, tired. He let go.
Liara's hands were on his face, tilting his head so he would look at her. She was blue, like the sky. "Kaidan, stay with us!" Her voice sounded like birdsong on the breeze.
He tasted blood. "I'm coming, Sloan…" he whispered with a smile. She had tried to leave him behind. She tried to be the lone savior, but she wouldn't leave him again. He would follow her.
He'd follow her anywhere, and today, he'd prove that.