Author's Note: As promised. Late, yes, but here nonetheless. Enjoy. TLC

Chapter Ninety-Seven

The scent of salt water roused him. Without opening his eyes, he breathed deep, feeling his lungs stretch and the tang of the sea air as it filled him. He opened his eyes on his exhale; instantly blinded by the too bright light, he blinked. Sitting up, he scrubbed his hands over his face. Then he heard it: birds – seagulls, specifically – calling overhead and waves crashing nearby.

He'd been on Earth, hadn't he? Slowly, it came back to him. London. The beam. The plan: to die with Sloan, in a blaze of glory, as they took out the Reapers. Instead, she'd left him behind. Again. He looked around the barren beach. There were no trees. No buildings. No dock. Just a stretch of white sand meeting deep blue sea for as far as the eye could see no matter which direction he looked. How did he get here? More importantly, where was Sloan?

He moved to stand when he heard a baritone voice from behind him, "At ease, Soldier." Startled, he stopped, dropping back to sit and look up.

"Admiral—" Kaidan started, but Anderson held up a hand silencing him. The Admiral was very much out of place here, in his dress blues. Kaidan brushed his hands on his fatigues and was momentarily surprised there was no sand clinging to his clothing or skin. Anderson sat beside him, slowly easing himself down to the sand.

"David, Kaidan; call me David," Anderson sighed, as he looked out over the water. "Were you expecting someone else?" His question hung heavy between them as Kaidan took in the view. The heat of the sun should have warmed his face, but he still felt cold. He closed his eyes and struggled with the confusion burning in his chest. His hands grew clammy as he waited. He didn't answer Anderson. With a sigh, the Admiral answered himself. "She's not coming, Kaidan. Not yet, anyway."

Pain shot through Kaidan's chest. She wasn't coming.

Silence stretched between them, broken only by the sounds of the beach – the waves and the birds. It didn't make sense. They'd done everything they could to win. They'd fought; they sacrificed. Where was their reward? Isn't that how the universe worked? Maybe it wasn't finished. Maybe it hadn't been enough. Maybe everything they had been through had fallen short of what was needed. It was an eternity if it was a second before Kaidan spoke. "Is it over?" Anderson didn't speak until Kaidan turned to look at him.

"That's not why I'm here, Kaidan," he replied, "and that's not why you're here, either."

Kaidan's gut churned. He kept his eyes on the horizon. He thought of Sloan. Her smile flashed before his eyes. He could feel the softness of her skin beneath his fingers; feel the warmth of her lips against his, the silk slide of her hair as he pushed it behind her ears. The scent of plum blossoms overwhelmed him. He blinked his eyes hard, shaking his head gently before looking to the Admiral. David had a smile playing on his features.

"It's been a hell of a ride," Anderson spoke, turning to look back out to sea.

"You're just not who I expected to see here," Kaidan responded, shifting his weight and folding his legs beneath him.

"Who should have been here?"

"Oh," anger colored his tone, "I don't know, my dad… Ashley, maybe? Shit, Thane would have made more sense. I don't know. I just didn't expect to see you when I got to the other side," Kaidan shrugged, trying, and ultimately failing, to keep the disappointment out of his voice.

Anderson's rich laugh echoed oddly, "You're not quite dead, son. Not really. Not yet."

"Then… where are we? What's happening?" Kaidan's temper flared at the ambiguity of Anderson's responses.

"You're asking the wrong questions," Anderson reached out and placed a hand on Kaidan's shoulder.

Kaidan thought for a long moment as the warmth of the sun finally seemed to find his skin. He took a deep breath. If he's not supposed to know where he is, or what happened on Earth, his next question is, naturally, where is Sloan? He knew, instinctively, Anderson wouldn't answer that question. On a sigh, he asked instead, "Why are we … wherever we are?" Kaidan's question caused Anderson to smile.

"That, is the important question," Anderson shifted and stood, holding a hand out to Kaidan. Kaidan took it and Anderson pulled him to his feet. Kaidan found his footing but almost lost his balance. His left leg was all pins and needles.

"Sorry, Sir, leg's asleep," he said as he gained his balance and they turned to walk along the water. Anderson hummed, but said nothing in response. In fact, they walked an indeterminate amount of time before Anderson spoke again.

"It's been a hell of a ride, hasn't it?" Anderson broke the silence. Kaidan nodded; it was his turn to stay silent. "Eden Prime, Saren… losing Sloan," Kaidan felt Anderson gaze at him as he paused his words. "Finding her, then Horizon, and learning to trust her again, the Alpha Relay—"

"I was there, Admiral," Kaidan snapped. What kind of This is Your Life bullshit was this? "I remember it in vivid detail. Stop dancing around and tell me what the hell is going on?" Kaidan stopped walking, forcing David to turn towards him.

"It's important you understand—"

"Then tell me!" Kaidan growled; his hands fisted at his side. An ache started behind his eyes.

"It's not that easy, Alenko. You need to see, how all the pieces fit together. You have to understand that it had to be her. She had to be the one, and she couldn't have been—" Anderson stopped. Closing his eyes, and breathing deeply. He glanced up at the sky before continuing. "You're angry." Anderson stated, and Kaidan stepped back, surprised by Anderson's statement.

"Yeah, I'm pissed off, David," he spat the words at him. "What was it all for? This is bullshit."

"No, you're angry with Sloan," Anderson corrected softly.

He huffed and wanted to argue with him, but he couldn't. Truth is, yeah, he was angry with her. His gut twisted as his hands fisted at his sides. As soon as he admitted it, he knew why. She had left him. She had promised she wouldn't; she had promised they would go together, but she left him. Again. After everything. How could she?

"She had to, Kaidan," Anderson spoke as if he had read Kaidan's mind, "because saving you gave her the strength to do what she had to do. Don't you see, you were her reason for fighting. She couldn't have faced what she had to do knowing you wouldn't make it. She couldn't leave behind a galaxy without you in it," Anderson continued, Kaidan swallowed hard as tears blurred his vision. He wiped hard at his eyes.

"And it doesn't matter that I was ready to—"

"No, Kaidan, it doesn't matter. See, everything happens for a reason, Kaidan," Anderson interrupted him. "From the moment she pulled you out of the beacon's grip, no, even before that. Sloan's path in this life was laid out before her the moment her parents died on Mindoir. Somewhere, perhaps on a cellular level, somewhere deep inside she knew that. She had to be the one who reached the beam on Eden Prime. She had to receive the cypher. She had to be the one to stop Saren. She had to be the one to stop the collectors. She had to be the one to reach the beacon—"

Kaidan interrupted him, "She had to die over Alchera? She had to slip into a coma at Sanctuary? She had to—"

"Yes! Exactly! If she hadn't—" Anderson growled when the words caught in his throat. "I wish I could make you understand, but I can't … I want to, but you have to find the answer yourself. You will, if you go back. Everything can make sense Kaidan; you just have to go back to find the answers."

The tingling in Kaidan's leg turned to a burning sensation. He reached out to grip Anderson's arm, but the Admiral was gone. As the pain increased, he lost his balance and stumbled. He hit the sand hard, the burning in his leg growing hotter. He gripped his leg and rolled to his side, a scream erupting from his chest as his eyes pinched closed. Hot tears slipping down his cheeks. Anderson's words echoed, "Everything happens for a reason."

Kaidan didn't wake slowly. There was no gentle beeping of machines, no scent of antiseptic, no scratchy sheets beneath him.

He woke violently as waves of nausea crashed over him. He choked, reaching for the tubes protruding his mouth forcing air into his lungs, but his hands were restrained to the bed. He thrashed, his body rocking as he tried to free himself. He ripped out IVs from his hands as he struggled. Suddenly, there was a prick at his neck and a heavy heat spread over his body as his breathing calmed, the nausea eased, and his heartrate slowed.

The hum of the machines helped him keep steady breaths as he returned to consciousness. His gaze found Liara sitting next to his bed. His eyes met hers, which were unguarded in her concern, and fear. What he saw most, however, was the sadness that overwhelmed everything else in the Asari's face.

His vision blurred. He shook his head as he closed his eyes, tears leaking from the corners and over his temples. "Kaidan," Liara whispered, but the nurse – who Kaidan hadn't even realized was in the room – interrupted her, asking her to leave as the Doctor joined them in the room. Kaidan didn't want to talk to Liara at the moment, not that he could have even if he wanted to. "I'm sorry, Kaidan," Liara finished as she was ushered from the room.

The sun had set hours ago, and Kaidan couldn't take his eyes off the sky outside his window. He was still on Earth, having been critically wounded in the final battle. Kaidan didn't know all that happened. He only knew that Shepard had won. The Citadel had been destroyed as they had expected. Anderson and Javik had been with her when it happened. Kaidan was supposed to be with her, but she left him behind. He reached down, trembling fingers meeting the stump where his leg had been. His throat burned as he heard the doctor's words repeating over and over. "We were able to repair the damage to your pelvis, unfortunately, your leg suffered a catastrophic injury. Though we tried, there was no way to save the leg. The good news is you're a prime candidate for a prothesis and with physical therapy there's no reason you shouldn't walk again." Walk again, sure, but he'd never serve again. Then again, he wasn't so sure that was a bad thing.

The door sighed open behind him. He didn't turn, but he saw the reflection of his visitor. "Kaidan," Liara's voice was soft as she crossed the threshold. Heavy footsteps followed her voice and he knew she'd brought Vega with her.

Kaidan cleared his throat, keeping his back to the pair. "Vega, what do we know?" he croaked, his voice weary and his throat sore. He could feel the tension his question heaved into the room, but he didn't care.

"Sir, the crucible fired as expected. The Citadel is demolished, the relays are non-operational, and communication is spotty at best," Vega's voice was firm, but quiet and professional

"Where?" Kaidan asked, his hands fisting at his sides. He didn't want their pity. He didn't want their concern. Why hadn't they gone after her? Why hadn't they brought her home?

"Sir?" Vega asked as Liara said his name.

"Where is … whatever is left of the Citadel?"

"Oh, it's still above London, just outside Earth's atmosphere," Vega answered simply. Kaidan nodded, his eyes still on the stars above him.

"Why haven't you brought her home, yet?" Kaidan nearly choked on the question. The idea of Sloan still in space, weightless, alone and drifting. Officially, yes, she was killed in action, but Kaidan believed that once and she walked into his life again two years later. He knew what it felt like when she died. He'd lived through that before, this felt different. The silence hung heavy in the room between them. Kaidan couldn't bring himself to look at them. He couldn't look at them and see the pity on their faces.

"Liara," Kaidan continued, "you stood with me on Alchera two years ago. Do you remember that? Standing with me and watching debris rain down, burning through the atmosphere?" he left his question hang in the air.

"Yes, Kaidan, of course I do," she whispered in response, her voice shook.

"I know what it feels like when Sloan Shepard dies. This is different," he whispered, closing his eyes and shifting in bed. "This feels different, and I believed it before. I believed it when they told me she was gone, and I didn't look for her. I should have, but I didn't. You know, Liara, Vega, you both know Sloan wouldn't rest until every person was accounted for. Fuck, she went back to Alchera and retrieved the missing tags from the crew who died on the SR-1, did you know that?" His eyes snapped open and locked on Liara's. "You went and found her once when I didn't think there was anything to find. I refuse to believe she's gone until she's here, and I see it. You need to do whatever you have to do, Shadow Broker, to bring her home. Do you hear me? You bring her home. I can't," he threw back the blanket revealing what was left of his leg. "I would be out there already if I could. You go get her," he spoke through clenched teeth.

"Major, you can't be seri—" Vega started but stopped when a rush of blue energy raced over Kaidan's form. Liara's hand rested on Vega's chest, officially silencing his argument.

"Okay, Kaidan," Liara nodded. "We'll go get her." Kaidan wiped hard at his eyes. "We'll bring her home to you." Liara turned and took Vega's hand escorting him from the room. Kaidan could hear their hushed argument. Words like delirious and grief-stricken, grating against his nerves. He took deep calming breaths.

The door sighed open again and Kaidan smelled fresh baked bread and gasped, his gaze snapping to his new visitor. "Mom…," was all he could choke out as the only person who could possibly understand him rushed to him and wrapped him in her embrace. "Mom…" he said it over, and over, as he sobbed. His grip on her tight, but if it pained her, she gave no clues. She just held him, kissing his brow with one hand in his hair and the other on his back as she held him to her chest.

"It's okay, Kaidan, I'm here. You're safe. I'm safe, and I'm not going anywhere," she promised, as her tears fell.