The Craziest Warlock 2 - (HP x Xovers, BartyCrouch!SI)

Gus was a loyal friend. I would have never asked for more. Truth be told, I could have been handling this alone, but Gus was... well, a minion. And a friend.

I wouldn't say I was planning to become a Dark Lord, but I also wasn't taking the path of the 'edgy lone wolf'. In fact, Hogwarts was a place that demanded for students to be in groups. The Houses created a basic division, but it was the cliques where most of the power was split with.

Some may, reasonably so, assume that this is a Slytherin-only form of factionalism, but the truth is that there is a very known group that proved it could go beyond it: the Marauders. At this point, they were in their Third Year at Hogwarts, but their presence was a source of 'destabilization'.

Sure, many would say Voldieshorts is to blame for the sudden radicalization of the Slytherin House, but these pricks were those that further galvanized the divide to the point it became too difficult to mend the rift. And I knew that, within the first week at Hogwarts, I had to take a stance. Not just because it would 'define' my life here at school but also acquire potential allies within the doctrine of pragmatism.

And this started with-

Severus Snape.

He was two years above us, but even as the boy knew enough spells to wreck James Potter and co., he was still unwilling to actually attack the guy. Why? Well, 'his sweet Lily' would never forgive him for hurting James. It was so painfully obvious the girl had a crush on the bully that it wasn't even 'funny' how Severus' dumbassery would cost him a fruitful life away from that toxic situation.

I am not going to say 'Sevvy' was without flaws, but that was just a sad L for a guy his age to take.

Alas, I had thought about a way to ingratiate ourselves with Severus because: 1) Potion Prodigy; 2) Curse Prodigy; 3) A direct contact with the future Death Eaters.

It was fair to say that trying to be 'friendly' wouldn't do. It was the 'deed' that mattered the most as it created a most favorable stance for future endeavors. Gus was most intrigued by the plan I had in mind, but he agreed that taking this step was essential to gain us some temporary group to linger by.

He had the chance to read the few documents I packed up about Hitler's political messages, and he seemed horrified - positively ghastly - over the chances of this being what Voldieshorts may be up to if he ended up ruling Magical Britain.

So, he was even more interested to keep around me out of the fact I 'had a plan' to avoid that since 'Dumbledore was playing passive'. And the first step of said plan was to secure Severus as an ally and, hopefully so, a friend.

It didn't take some lengthy amount of time or even a complex plan to find the right time to intervene: James and his group of pricks was soon vulturing Severus the moment that he was 1) alone, 2) distracted and 3) away from teachers' reach.

Man, it sure sucks to know that the protagonist's dad is such a generic bully.

Severus' mistake for that day was having to find a nice and quiet place by the lake to read and study in peace around the afternoon's break. And his tormentors were already on his case the moment he sat down and started to mind his own businesses.

Gus and I were close behind, but we were far enough to miss on the original interaction before James had Severus lifted off the ground and twirling mid-air.

"On my three," I mumbled, readying my wand. "One, two..."

We got close enough behind the four Gryffindors and-

"Three! Expelliarmus!" I got Pettigrew's wand, forcing the rat to turn and fall on himself out of fright. Gus struck Lupin with a 'Petrificus Totalus', and soon it was me and Gus against Jimmy and Padfoot.

"Bloody hell," Sirius growled, wand aimed at us together with James, Severus back on the ground and picking up his things with a hint of surprise on his face. "Who the hell are you two?"

"Two 'snakes' passing by, Black," I remarked, "Also, individuals that are not up to this kind of horrible stuff- attacking a fellow student by cornering him? Potter, that's some villainous plotting here."

"I am just cleaning up the school from the Slytherin trash," James snapped back, "I will ask you this again, who are you two?"

"Nonya," Gus replied, and I had to hold back a grin as I recognized the joke I taught the guy.

Jimmy frowned, unaware of what ambush we had for him. "Non... ya?"

"Nonya business, Pothead. As if we're going to give up our names to a bunch of bullies."

"We are not-!"

Sirius' angry remark was interrupted as Snape walked around them and moved towards us. Surprise flashed at the two, but Severus paused to pat my shoulder.

"Follow me."

A nod was all he got from me, and I... holstered my wand before turning and leaving. Gus appeared stunned, but he copied my behavior despite the annoyed look sported by the two gits.

"W-Where are you going?"

"Away, we didn't come here to play with Lion Cubs but to rescue one of our own. Bye."

I admit that we had to run a bit just to avoid getting caught up by these pricks. Never once I thought that 'running away from a confrontation' would constitute as such as big W for any of my current plans, but it worked as James and Sirius, struck by the dilemma of either giving chase or staying with their friends, decided to opt for the latter option.

Meanwhile, we followed Severus back to the castle and then to an unused classroom. And he wasn't exactly that polite with his own criticism.

"Are you two out of your mind? Do you even know how this will only end for the two of you?"

"With us being taken to the headmaster's office to be potentially punished for 'attacking disarmed students' or whatever fancies James and his group," I answered back as flatly as possible. "Which is why we intervened the way we did."

His open mouth suddenly went shut at hearing those words and he spent a solid thirty seconds 'glaring' at me.

"What?"

"This is not an unplanned intervention, Severus," Gus remarked, joining the conversation. "My name is Augustus Rookwood and this here is Bartemius Crouch Junior."

"But you can call us CJ and Gus if you accept our offer."

Snape's eyes widened a fraction at hearing my full name, but he slowly nodded at my words. "What offer?"

"We don't trust the declining curriculum of the school and we heard you are gifted in basic hexes but also reliable spells. We would like to be taught some of what you may consider acceptable for us to have."

"And what do I get from this, Crouch?"

I smiled. "Peace and safety. Things you could easily claim, but we understand you have a particular reason to not acquire those yourself."

"It's not a threat," Gus added carefully. "We are not trying to harm the friend you have in Gryffindor."

Severus tensed up at the indirect mentioning of Lily and... he closed his eyes for a moment. "You want to be my bodyguards."

"And eventually friends. Severus, I understand in this world of cruel liars you may not trust us, but believe me when I say we are genuine and we will allow our honesty to show through our compliance to this deal."

...

"Fine."

I grinned and then prepared an empty glass flask before the older student could leave.

"And before we leave, I have a tiny favor to ask you, if possible."

Severus frowned, turning his gaze to the flask. "What now?"

"May I get a copy of your memories?"

"So... do you think this will work?"

Gus' unease was met with a nod. "Yep."

After Severus had left, I had called for Winky. The trusty House-Elf took a short letter I had written on the spot and the flask containing Severus' memories of the event to my father. I didn't get a response, but it was soon for something to happen. It's been two hours now, so I expected James to do a fuck-up and tell McGonagall a lie on what happened by the lake.

"How do you know that? What if your father-"

"A major form of evidence in court is the production of untampered memories. I can't tamper memories, but I can get copies of those since I saw dad do it at least twice in the past and I tested this on myself a few times," I mumbled, remembering the interesting (and initially unimportant) skill that is retrieving memories for a Pensieve. "Severus is a victim but also a witness. His memory can easily disprove any erroneous account of what happened. This is why the Ministry can rely on Pensieves for trials."

Gus appeared surprised by my awareness on the matter, but it was also relieving for him that we were in the right side of history. Despite that, a hint of unease did came upon us as one of the Slytherin Prefects, Evan Rosier, had us join him to go to the Headmaster.

"Crouch, what did you even do?"

That question surprised me a little. "Hm? About what led us to be called by Dumbledore or-"

"The fact that your father was sparring words with the headmaster."

I shrugged. "We caught Potter acting most unruly around one of us."

That seemed to gain a smile from the perplexed older student, but I wasn't sure on the spot if he was happy we helped a Slytherin or if he confused 'one of us' as a Pureblood-related shit. I doubt that was true for the latter since Severus was a half-blood but... who knows?

The march to the headmaster's office wasn't particularly tedious. But I was quickly noticing how pale Gus was when we got through the gargoyle guarding the office's entrance and we started to hear a particularly loud voice that was my father's.

I quickly grasped at his elbow, and he jumped up a bit before noticing the kind smile I was giving him.

"It's gonna be alright. We did nothing wrong."

Well, not entirely true, but I wasn't there to be brutal honest with the nervous minion of mine. After I said this, Gus appeared less tense but still reserved a healthy amount of dread as we walked into the office and found Barty Crouch Snr. in the middle of telling off Dumbledore about 'favoring some kids' when... he stopped and saw us.

"Junior."

"Sir." I replied swiftly, bowing my head as I knew I couldn't just call him 'Father' or 'Dad' on a public situation.

"I want to say that I support what happened and... this is your friend? Young Augustus, yes?"

"A-Augustus Rookwood, Mr. Crouch."

"No need to feel nervous, boy," Bartemius assured as he got us to our chairs. "I was just finishing telling the Headmaster that the situation you tackled was done in an exemplary fashion."

"Barty, we can't just promote vigilantism!" McGonagall was soon yapping, and Slughorn was... fiddling with some papers. Gee, prof, I can sense the care here. "While the situation is indeed troublesome, to allow students to take this in their hands-"

"Is a worrisome development," Dumbledore interrupted thoughtfully. "Yet, I do have to wonder 'how' it became necessary."

I felt the headmaster looking at us, my gaze studying quietly the fandom-renown cup of-

"Lemon drop?"

"If I may, then yes, sir."

At his nod, I reached out for this peculiar snack and tried it out. It wasn't the best candy I tasted, but definitely worthy of a good mark for its flavor.

"Mr. Crouch, would it be fair to say you and your friend were already looking for Mr. Snape when you found this scene?"

"That would be correct, sir."

"And may I ask why were you looking for Mr. Snape?" Dumbledore was, of course, trying to disarm the situation by trying to find a point where he could hook up a different narrative.

"Well, the context is a bit complex, but I will say that we had been informed of James Potter's bullying from other students, so we thought of asking Mr. Snape for assistance since he has... created some harmless jinxes that we wished to learn."

"And thus you found the scene right as Mr. Snape was being attacked."

"T-That's correct." Augustus confirmed, leaving Dumbledore with a thoughtful look.

"I believe the boys have a point. Mr. Potter has overstepped boundaries many times now, Minerva. I will deduct fifty points from Gryffindor for each member of the group and I will assign them detention for two months."

"I believe the boys deserve ten points each for saving their fellow student, Albus," Slughorn finally spoke, the pragmatic player having realized which side was winning and gaining a sigh from the headmaster.

"And twenty points for Slytherin, yes."

The entire scene was indeed worthy of a picture. But while I was glad that dad didn't seem too annoyed as he got a chance to dunk on Dumbledore, it was the scene as we got back to the Common Room that truly gave us 'legendary status'.

The entire Slytherin House was rallied up and waiting our return- I hadn't expected this behavior, but maybe the leading figures in the House wanted to know if 'the firsties' could into winning against Dumbledore.

"So, how did it go?" Rosier asked, and Gus and I shared a look and then nodded at one another.

"First, Headmaster Dumbledore said that vigilantism is not condoned," Augustus started to say. "That, however, doesn't mean that defending others of our house is to be deemed as that."

First good news.

"Second, James Potter and his minions are getting three months of detention."

Second good news, and I saw smiles finally appear on the faces of the students. It was the last news that truly stole the best reaction.

"Third, Gryffindor lost 200 points while Slytherin got 20. You are welcome."

The entire room exploded in applause at the glorious victory we brought back to Slytherin. Of course, this was not the only biggest event of the year.

After all, I just got started~.

AN

So, bringing this back up since I wanna write some HP stuff after reading a DarkNotEvil!Ron story in AO3 where he ends up involving some Eldritch Gods with Blood Magic called How to Succeed in Dark Wizardry (Without Really Trying) by Technically Direct.