Chapter 30

Cross-Brain AN: The hiatus is ended, loyal fans, and for those of you for whom the 1000th Review Special wasn't enough, we hope that this chapter, though not as long as the previous one, is adequate.

Edit: Rewritten as of February 1, 2023

My return to consciousness was slow and painful.

It wasn't immediate screaming agony, mind you. I just woke to burning pain radiating all over and through my body, something like a sunburn but so much worse. I tried to shift my limbs into a less painful position, but they wouldn't respond, and they felt like they were stuffed with pins and needles.

Ugh, I knew I should have asked Usopp to insulate my armor before we got here; there was no way I wouldn't wear it in a danger zone like this, but metal and lightning? In retrospect, it was a painfully bad combination.

I coughed up half a lungful of smoke (that could not be healthy. And shouldn't I have already been smoked out a while ago?) and slowly pushed myself up on my elbows. It took a second for me to blink away the spots in my eyes to see Conis kneeling over me, filling my field of vision.

Finally, my neurons booted up, and I chuckled wryly, trying to diffuse her concern. "Damn, I missed everything, didn't I?" I wheezed out. "Shame. I really wanted to see the look on Eneru's face when Luffy slugged him."

Though my vision was still stabilizing, I could make out the concern on Conis's face morph into panic. "C-Cross, what are you—?"

KRRRZZZT!

A burning flash of light charred my retinas, cutting Conis off and blasting her off me. I jerked my head to try and follow her. She rolled to a halt only a few feet away from me, smoking like a fried steak and gasping in agony. I tried to move toward her, to do what I didn't know, when something stopped me.

Namely, a very hot and very hard force pressing against my heart, almost hard enough to burn through my shirt.

"Fool."

And then that voice again. My blood ran cold. I tilted my head up, taking in the sight in front of me. Cloth cap covering pale, crew-cut blond hair, ridiculously long earlobes with gold earrings, and a smug grin.

Some part of me knew what I was seeing, but it made no sense. All I could get out was a weak "W-what? B-but how—? The sh-shock…"

"The voltage from that attack was negligible; you blacked out for only a meager second," Eneru drawled. "It would be counterproductive if you were to miss the entire Survival Game by passing out."

I wasn't sure I wanted to know what he meant by that. But I didwant to know something.

"H-Huff!" I coughed up another lungful of what I could only assume was freshly carbonized flesh. "How did you even find us? Soundbite's Gastro-Scramble was spread out—"

"Yaaa ha ha ha ha!" the self-proclaimed god laughed. "Are you referring to that meager buzzing noise that's been pestering my ears? An annoyance, true, but hardly a hindrance against God."

My blood ran cold again. He'd heard everything. Because I was such an idiot. A Paramecia ability, up against not just a Logia's unique abilities but Logia-enhanced Haki? Why did I ever think that matchup would go our way?

But if that was the case, then this still didn't make sense.

"If you heard everything…" I gasped, stuttering a bit. "Then why did you even let us get this far? Why didn't you kill us all back on Angel Island when we started planning this? When we called you a—GHHH!" A spike in temperature against my chest, and the accompanying pain, stole the breath from my lungs.

Eneru shrugged, uncaring of the pain he was inflicting. "Boredom, I suppose. Do you know how rare the hubris it takes to think you could circumvent my abilities is? I was interested to see how it would play out. And fortunately for you it was very entertaining. I nearly lost all of my priests, but your pet's commentary was very good for a laugh, particularly that ghost story last night. I don't think I've laughed that hard for the last, oh, month or so? The last time was when a particularly fat crew of Blue Sea dwellers came by. Ah, seeing them all waddle to their deaths, now that was fun."

I had to fight hard to keep my gag reflex in check. The only thing worse than metal armor against a lightning-man would be wet metal armor. Plus, vomiting on myself was just gross.

Reminiscence done, Eneru locked eyes with me, grin fading. "But we're straying from the topic of importance. I'm here because you've severely underestimated me. Since I've gone to the trouble of coming in person to show you my power, I think you owe me an apology." He withdrew the bo staff from my chest, his grin returning, even wider. "I'll forgive you for your blasphemy if you beg for your life, as is only natural."

As I considered the offer, I slowly lifted my torso as far up as my quivering muscles could manage. Though really, my answer was always going to be the same. I opened my mouth—

"That won't do you any good, girl."

And said nothing, instead following Eneru's eyes to find Vivi kneeling next to a country-fried Carue, glaring furiously at the self-proclaimed god. One hand held her companion's insensate head to her chest, while her other was grasping that necklace of hers again. The hell…?

"The results would be interesting, I'll admit," Eneru mused. "But it would also make killing you a thoroughly annoying endeavor. If you will not listen to me…"

He jabbed his staff into my throat, choking me and pushing me back down onto my back.

"Then perhaps you will consider that your precious friends will undoubtedly perish in the crossfire?"

If looks could kill, Eneru would've been a cloud of free electrons, but otherwise Vivi had no rebuttal. Wrenching her hand open, she slowly and very visibly brought it to Carue's beak. So hard was she trying not to speak that I could see rivulets of blood trailing down from her mouth where her teeth had broken the skin. I made a mental note to ask what the hell that stuff with the necklace was about if we lived through this.

"Now, where were we? Ah, yes: the sinner was about to repent."

A possibility looking more remote by the second, because…

"Me, repent? For what?" I spat acidly. "For believing that you're just an overconfident and delusional Logia and an amateur Haki user? You're powerful, I'm not denying that… But a god?" I wheezed out a shaky chuckle, smirking despite the pain. "Don't make me laugh."

Eneru's expression fell flat. His finger rose, I braced myself-

ZAP!

"EEAAARGH!"/"YIPE!"

Except instead of zapping me, he swung his fingers off to his right and fired two streams of electricity. I didn't see what he hit, but from the sound of the pained screams and the stench of burned fur, I didn't need to.

Eneru sniffed haughtily. "So many pests in my land. How is a God to focus properly? Now, where was I? Ah, yes."

ZAP!

For a second, there wasn't any pain, any agony, any… anything. Then it hit me over the skull like a hammer. I could hear my teeth creak from the effort of holding back a scream, but I could do nothing to stop the agonized groan that crawled out of my throat.

"That was two million volts. Defy me again, and I'll move to five. Would you care to revise your opinion?"

I was only partially aware of the fact that my mouth was moving. "I'd like to make a formal request… for you to kiss my—!"

ZAP!

"Grrgrggghh…" I gargled out. Now that one, I was most definitely awake for, and it gave me an all-new meaning for the phrase 'feeling the burn.' Though the fact that I couldn't actually feel it in my limbs was just a tad worrying.

Eneru cocked an eyebrow at me before sighing haughtily and shaking his head. "How annoying. Even face-to-face with a god, you still deny his power? Foolish boy."

"First of all, I'm nineteen years old," I forced out through gritted teeth. "And second of all, I've experienced what a god is. Or rather, I've experienced a higher being. But I refuse to acknowledge either you orit as a capital-g god."

"Oh?" Eneru tilted his head inquisitively, or perhaps just to humor me. "And why is that?"

"For that higher being? This and that, that you don't need to know, and I don't need to share," I replied. "But for you, no matter how far you reach, no matter how cracked you are, you're. Still. Human. Your reach is farther than most, but as divorced from reality as you might be, you're still bound by human limits, and you can't do whatever you—!"

ZZZZZZZT!

This time my muscles spasmed instead of locking up, leaving me writhing on the ground like a fish out of water. I didn't notice; I was more focused on the feeling of every inch of my body being stabbed repeatedly by a red-hot poker.

"I believe I've found the flaw in your argument," Eneru said triumphantly. "You claim that I am not omnipotent? Observe!"

He wheeled around on his heel and jabbed his hand at the treeline, streams of lightning crackling over his body in a haze of ozone. On the plus side, the smell drowned out the smell of cooked pork that I'd been worrying about before.

"Behold a generous demonstration of my awesome might! EL THOR!"

There are no words or onomatopoeia to describe the skull-shakingly loud thunderclap that came from Eneru's attack. Yet my survival ability was improving, considering that my eyes and ears could take in both that and the tremendous pillar of lightning, at least as big as the one that had targeted Conis back on Angel Island, that vaporizedone of the massive trees nearby. And as the lightning faded, leaving only a smoking crater in the island, Eneru spoke.

"Behold my power. Will you still deny me?" he said smugly. I spared the hole a look before looking back at Eneru. And his renewed smugness banished all traces of fear from my mind.

"Like I said, I can't deny that you're powerful…" I hissed before shaking my head. "But omnipotent? Not even close. Now, let meshare something with you:the power you can find on the Blue Seas."

Slowly, with much quivering, I raised my arm and pointed at the hole. "That hole that you just punched in the ground? I can name five people off the top of my head who could do that in their sleep. I can name three who could match them blow for blow without anypowers of their own. And another who can take anything those guys dish out and come back for more."

"You may be powerful, but you're only anything special up here, in your little cloudy world that's just a puddle compared to the real world down below us. When I compare you to the strongest warriors in the sea, you're not a god. You're not powerful, you're not impressive, you're not evenspecial. All you are is pathetic. And if you tried going up against the monsters down there, you'd get your gold-plated ass handed to you in ten. Seconds. FLAT. Just like every other hot-headed Logia."

Now Eneru was starting to lose his composure. His smile was gone, a scowl in its place, and the air crackled with electricity and the stench of ozone.

ZAP!

Aaaaaand that. It was a bad thing when the smell of toast overpowered all else, right?

Eneru grabbed me by my collar and jerked me up so we were face-to-face, only exacerbating the pains in my limbs.

"There is never, has never, and will never be anybody like me, you insignificant worm," he hissed.

It took a moment, I had to blink slowly, but once I comprehended it, though, well, there was only one way for me to react.

"Pff…Pffhahahahahaaaa…"

In the face of such a ludicrous statement, even if it was weak and it hurt me to do it, how could I not laugh?

ZRT!

Then the current slapping across my body stopped it.

"What's so funny?" Eneru snarled.

I was still gasping for breath every few words, but I plastered a sickly grin on my face. This was so stupid, so reckless, but I couldn't live with myself if I gave this psycho's ego another inch.

"You think that you're so special. That is hilarious, especially because you think it's true…"

My grin widened, hopefully niiiice and demented.

"Allow me to enlighten you…"

-o-

"Do you think you're the only one who lords his powers over others? Who reigns with an iron fist and strikes down all who speak against him?"

High up in Marineford, a giant of a man glared viciously at the terrified Transponder Snail before him, uncaring of the fact that the chair he was sitting in was slowly starting to smoke, or that the temperature in the room was ratcheting up a dozen degrees at a time.

The temperature alleviated slightly when an audible ZAP! and a pained cry came over the connection, before resuming just as badly when Cross continued anyway.

"N-no… there are hundreds who do that, every. Single. Day. And they do it better than you. Or worse, I should say…"

While the weak grin the Snail was sporting never left its face, it could not keep from voiding its bowels as Admiral Akainu's seat burst aflame, and the desk it was perched upon slowly started sinking into the floor.

-o-

"Do you think you're the only one who takes pleasure in the suffering of others? Who throws their head back and laughs at the agonized screams they cause as if it were all some great joke?"

Doflamingo's already wide smile widened even further as Cross got zapped for the world to hear, and it widened even more than that when he just kept. On. Talking.

"Like hell… There are thousands who torture and cause harm and enjoy it. And most don't even know that they like it…"

-o-

"Do you think you're the only one who thinks they're invincible? Who thinks so highly of themselves that they think they're unbeatable, untouchable, so far above everyone else that they're just ants?"

Crocodile grinned a bitter grin, savoring how the loudmouth's screams of agony mingled with the chorus of the damned that rose up in the prison at the start of each broadcast.

"That's hilarious… but no. There are more people like that in the world than I can count. There are so many…"

At that moment, all Crocodile truly wanted for was a lit cigar. If he'd had one, then the moment would have been absolutely perfect.

-o-

"Men like you. You always think you're one-of-a-kind…" I grit out. "But that's not true. You're one of a million. Perfectly uniform. So many of you that you're choking the world, one evil act at a time…" I smiled grimly. "If you want unique, then you need to look at the other end of the spectrum."

ZOT!

"Guh!" Pain washed over me again, but it wasn't nearly as bad as previous zaps. Yeah, that definitely wasn't good. "You need to get a new schtick, jackass, because that's just starting to tickle."

"And who would you claim to be unique?" Eneru sneered contemptuously, all smugness gone now. "You?"

"PFHA!" I barked out weakly. "As if! No, no, I'm worse than unique. I'm normal! No more unique than you. How's that for a kick—?!"

THWACK!

"AGH!" I wheezed as I rolled along the ground. Alright, punting me just as I was saying that. I guess that maybe he wasn't as stupid as I thought.

Once I got my breath back in my lungs, I kept going.

"I'm as normal as it comes…" I said, not caring how weak my voice was. "Just your everyday guy… People like me, people who can't stand bullies, people who won't let anyone push them around…" I took a second to gather my breath before pushing myself up just enough to glare at him. "There's less of us than you, sure… but I'm not unique."

"Then who?" Eneru growled. "If not you or I, then whodo you deem unique?"

I smiled through the pain. "There's a little-known saying on the Blue Seas, passed down from generation to generation for centuries: 'D will bring forth a storm.' The Ds bring change. They bring upheaval and renewal, and above all, they are the enemy of the gods. And of the Ds alive in this current generation?" I chuckled weakly. "Monkey D. Luffy is the best example there is."

Eneru scoffed incredulously, angling himself away from me. "The ignoramus you so foolishly follow? I will grant you that he is unique in one sense and that his strength is above the norm, but that is all."

I scoffed and glared daggers. "Strong enough to kick your ass…"

THWACK!

"HURF!" I doubled over as Eneru punted my stomach. It was a good thing the organ was bone dry, or else I'd have heaved up a puddle of bile. I managed to choke out another chuckle.

"Heh… keep on hitting me if you want, but there are two things that will happen no matter what you do: you're going to fight my captain. And you're going to lose."

Eneru lashed out with his staff, sending me tumbling across the ground again. As he approached me, his expression was as darken as a midsummer Midwest thunderstorm.

"Beaten, shocked, and faced directly with my power, yet still you defy me. I've never seen such nerve, and for that, I grant you one final chance. Repent now, or perish."

I gathered up every lingering ounce of strength that I had left to stand, and I actually didthank Zoro mentally as I stumbled over to Eneru. And when I stood directly in front of him, I forced every bit of saliva I had left into my dry mouth, and spat in his face.

Naturally, it passed right through him.

"I see," Eneru said placidly. "Then you will not repent?"

"Burn in hell," was my reply.

"Very well, then."

His palm lashed out, shoving me back to the ground, and this time, I didn't have the strength to get back up. Then Eneru held his hand above my eyes, lightning slowly gathering in his palm.

"One million. Five million. Ten million. Twenty million. Fifty million. One Hundred Million."

I wish I could say I faced him head-on with courage and pride. I wish I could say I wasn't scared. I wish I could say that I smiled. But once again, I wasn't a D. I didn't have it in me. The best I could manage was a grimace. And even as he said it, I clenched my eyes shut and looked away.

"One Hundred Million Volt VARI."

-o-

Silence did not reign in the storeroom of the Marine battleship. But only because Ensign Tashigi, hands clasped over her mouth, had kept up a steady stream of fervent denials. The two other people in the room, though, and the one present by proxy, were silent as the grave. So was the broadcast, nothing but dead air after the last zap. After a minute, Eneru's voice broke the silence.

"Inconceivable… How could you possibly have survived that?!"

"Oh-thank-God!" Tashigi said in a relieved rush.

"One hundred million volts on top of all those other injuries, and he survived?" T-Bone breathed in equal parts shock and horror.

"…Ah, so that's it," Eneru chuckled grimly, as if in response. "How valiant of you, young lady."

A thick THWACK came over the connection, followed by a feminine grunt of pain.

"You managed to grab him and siphon off part of the voltage. Any other day, I might have been impressed." A slight crackling noise filled the air. "But today, I find my patience for disrespect to be at an end. I've endured your sacrilege up until now, but now I think it high time you were punished. As your God, I sentence you to—!"

"ENOUGH!"

All present in the room tensed up, particularly Smoker and Tashigi, at the feminine voice over the Transponder Snail.

"LEAVE. US. ALONE," Princess Nefertari Vivi's voice snarled, the sound of whirling metal punctuating her point.

There was a tense silence, aside from the crackling and whirling. Then, the crackling dissipated.

"Tsk. It would appear that the Survival Game requires more balancing. You may consider yourself fortunate, but I fail to see the point in such folly. After all, this land will soon cease to be. Why should God sully the soles of his shoes with the innards of some insignificant insects? Enjoy what little time you have left."

A zapping sound, followed by the whirling metal abruptly ceasing, some scrambling as someone ran through the grass, and finally, Vivi screaming. "SOUNDBITE! CALL CHOPPER! CALL-CALL LUFFY, CALL ZORO, CALL NAMI, CALL SOMEONE!"

"I-Is he—?" Conis asked weakly.

"HE-HE'S alive," Soundbite answered hesitantly, apparently still scared to talk. "BUT HIS HEARTBEAT is way out of whack. Chopper's at theBASE OF GIANT JACK. LET'S GET GOING!"

"Right. Alright, here, give me—what the—?!"

There was some more rustling, followed by some pained wheezing.

"Giff him ta' me… Aw'll cawwy him…"

"Carue! You're—!"

"Deepfwied but awive. Now, huwwy up! I can cawwy him and the othahs bettah than any of you, and we don't haf time ta awgue!"

"Carue… alright, fine. Help me get Lassoo and Su on him, now! We have to hurry!"

"Damn impressive for a duck," Smoker said.

"Impressive for any living being," Hina agreed.

Once again, the Marines fell silent, letting the sound of rushed footsteps and desperate CPR from the broadcast fill the air. After a few minutes, however, Captain T-Bone to his knees with a shuddering groan. Smoker, Tashigi, and Hina's snail gave him looks of concern, finding tears dripping down his face.

"I claim to stand righteously, to hate crookedness. And yet, a piratehas shown more strength than I," he lamented. "Rather than conform for survival, he would remain true to his beliefs, even staring death in the face." The captain shook his head, cradled in his hands. "Oh, my brothers. How I have shamed you…"

After a minute more, he slowly looked back up at the other three. "Tell me. Why did you call me here?"

Tashigi glanced at Smoker, and at his nod, she replied, "The Straw Hat Pirates and the events in Alabasta broke our faith in the Navy. We've seen the corruption, how they've mutilated Justice into something unspeakable. The three of us and our soldiers have formed an organization tentatively named MI3, for Marine Integrity, with we three as the leaders. Our goal is to restore the Navy to what it once was, or what we thoughtit once was, by destroying the World Government from the ground up."

"We called you here, Captain T-Bone," Smoker took over, walking over to the Captain. "Because we three and our informant, Jeremiah Cross himself, believe you to be a decent Marine. We want your help in our goals. We want you to join us as a leader."

Commodore Smoker extended his hand again, and T-Bone slowly rose to his feet, regarding the three of them. He rubbed the sorrow off his face, replaced by grim determination, and he grasped Smoker's hand with his own. "Then let your soldiers be made aware that the organization shall now be known as MI4."

Relief briefly swept through the rest of the separatists, but T-Bone held up his hand.

"However," he stated firmly. "I have a condition, singular. One which is non-negotiable."

Tashigi swallowed audibly while Smoker exchanged glances with Hina's snail. "And that condition would be?" he asked gruffly.

The present occupants of the room tensed fearfully as T-Bone drew his blade from his side, though thankfully, all he did was gaze at its flat. "This blade was passed down through the 13th Royal Marine Flotilla for generations, from Rear Admiral to Rear Admiral. It symbolized our pride and our upright belief in the law. And now that I am the sole survivor of our honorable Flotilla, it falls to me."

The captain's grip on the blade tightened as rage flared across his face. "Twelve years ago, when we planned to make our stand, word of our defiance did not reach Sakazuki's ears by chance. We were betrayed by one of our own, one who used the burning corpses of our brothers—my brothers!—as a stepladder, solely so that he might rise higher in the ranks of a vile and corrupt system!"

T-Bone swung the blade out in a swift jab. "Sakazuki will have his day in court, this I know, but when the time comes, I ask that it be I who deals with the vile blaggard who murdered my brothers. By this blade shall his head be removed, and the brave souls of the 13th finally laid to rest!"

"Hina agrees," said the snail after a moment, Smoker and Tashigi nodding their assent.

"Very well, then," T-Bone nodded solemnly. He swung his blade around so the tip was pointed at the floorboards, then rammed it in and kneeled before the weapon. "Then today, I finally make the vow I have kept silent for all these years. I state a fact and make a promise long overdue. Today, I swear, on my honor, by this blade and by the blood of my brothers, I will see Vice-Admiral Vergo brought to justice for his crimes!"

Silence greeted the proclamation, prompting T-Bone to glance nervously at the other Marines. "Is something the matter?"

"Yeah," Smoker finally breathed, slowly turning his head to stare at the thoroughly shell-shocked snail behind him. "The importance of Cross's survival has just increased dramatically."

-o-

"Well, it looks like my vitamins are living up to my expectations. Before he came here, a single jolt like that would have killed him. Now he'll potentially recover from a hundred million volts, even if the charge was split. It looks like Chopper will be put to a real test now."

Kureha's tone was nonchalant, but the syringe spinning between her fingers betrayed her worry to anyone who knew her. Yet nobody was around to call her out save for her new assistant, a muscular, human-sized bipedal rabbit with an impressive scar beside one eye. It simply waited in a corner of the room with an impassive look on its face, a younger lapahn perched on its shoulder curiously watching the snail.

"Oh, thank goodness, we're finally here. CHOPPER!"

"Yes, did someone request me? Oh, my, you seem to have sustained some nasty injuries!"

Kureha's eyebrows rose. That soundedlike Chopper, but something was offabout him. It took a moment for her to realize how, but when she did, her eyes widened: he sounded just like HER. How did that happen?!

"Oh, no…" Soundbite groaned.

"Let's see, what do we have here? Widespread second-degree electrical burns on Conis, along with several third-degree burns. Carue's injuries are obscured by his feathers, but he seems to have second-degree burns on most of his body if the fact that he smells so delicious is anything to go by…"

"WHAT?!"

"Gah, we don't have time for this! Ugh, but hitting him is too risky right now, he's holding too much of that Cherry Blossom Blast."

"Ooh, now that I look at it, you two seem well-cooked, too. Soundbite, can you connect to Sanji and ask him if he has any good recipes for fox, duck, and dog? It would give me a good excuse to examine the differences between normal members of their species. Oh, the possibilities of SCIENCE!"

"KEEP HIM AWAY FROM ME!" the cloud fox yelped while Lassoo settled for whimpering nervously.

"What in the blue hell have they done to my son?" Kureha wondered aloud, gaping at the snail in front of her. She was too shocked to even be angry. Maybe she had rubbed off on him more than she thought.

"Ah, but investigating the differences would be most interesting with C… C-c-c… CrooosssrrgghHHHG-GRGHAH!"

There was a sound of vials dropping onto a soft surface, followed by the unmistakable sound of keratin hammering against flesh and fur. Silence for a few seconds…

"CROSS! HURRY, SOMEBODY GET A—!

"NOT THE TIME!" Soundbite roared.

"R-RIGHT! CONIS, CARUE, LAY HIM DOWN FLAT! VIVI, LET ME BORROW THE LION CUTTERS! I NEED TO GET HIS ARMOR OFF!"

A wet gurgle came over the line. Kureha recognized it, though she had heard it only once before, from a patient who had been caught in a fire.

"His lungs…" she breathed.

"DAMMIT! FORGET THE CUTTERS, GO AND GET MY BAG! I NEED TO STABILIZE HIS INTERNAL ORGANS BEFORE THEY ALL FAIL ON ME!" There was the brief sound of a scramble as someone ran somewhere and tossed something at Chopper, followed by the rustle of what she assumed was medical equipment.

"Spinal column, heart, lungs…" Kureha recited to herself.

"The skull should have insulated his brain. The primaries should be the spinal column, heart, and lungs."

Kureha was just starting to smirk and nod to herself when her old student spoke again.

"Was he burned anywhere specific, or was it layered all over?"

"Uh…" Conis hesitated slightly as she thought before answering. "E-Eneru primarily focused on his torso. The worst of it hit his stomach, I think?"

"Then I'll need to check his stomach, intestines, kidneys—nnrgh, I'll have to check all of the abdominopelvic cavity just to be sure…"

Kureha blinked in shock before slapping her hand to her face. "Prioritize the area of impact, of course. How could I have missed that?"

Her new assistant grunted and shrugged.

Meanwhile, the snail she was listening to muttered and fussed for a moment before freezing with a stricken and then determined expression. "Alright. Alright, listen closely: the damage to Cross is too extensive for me to reliably handle on my own. If I want to treat him effectively, then… then the only option is for me to amp my intelligence again."

"Y-You mean you need to make yourself all crazy again!?" Su sputtered.

"If I want to save Cross's organs and ensure he still has all his limbs afterward? Yes. I know it will be dangerous, but it's his only chance now. Unless anyone else has any better ideas?"

Silence.

"That's what I was afraid of. Alright, everyone, step back. Going in in three, two…" A moment of silence, and then… "Beginning the operation!"

"So, he found a way to increase his intelligence at will, but morals are compromised," Kureha muttered. "But even outside of that state, he's still exceptional. Better than me." The doctor-called-witch smiled and laughed. "Kak kak kak kak! Or maybe my age is finally starting to get to me. It had to happen sooner or later."

-o-

In a candlelit room on a pirate ship somewhere in Paradise, a stoic blond-haired man shuffled a pack of cards by feel. His eyes had time only for the snail, listening to the unmistakable sounds of a surgery. Clearly, in all of the excitement, they had forgotten that they were still broadcasting, leaving everyone in the world to hear Jeremiah Cross's operation. It didn't bother him all that much. In fact, it was why he was shuffling his cards. But he imagined that many listeners would sleep poorly tonight.

Ending his shuffling, he laid five cards down in a basic spread. It would suffice for this reading. He then began to turn them over. Then he raised an eyebrow at the sight of the Tower.

"The card of disaster represents the past? Interesting, though unsurprising with the Straw Hats' reported actions. What of the present?"

He flipped over the next card…

"Well, now."

The Six of Swords. A regretful but necessary transition. Some might call it a hopeful sign, but they would only consider Cross rather than the Straw Hats as a whole.

"The future…" The inverted Hierophant; a challenge to the status quo, breaking away from conformity. Quite obvious, of course, though men could just as easily lead revolutions in death as they could in life.

"The cause…" Judgment, also inverted; for all that Eneru claimed to be a god, the fact that the card's position represented self-doubt showed that Cross' words had shaken him.

"And, the outcome." He revealed the final card, and as the sound of surgery on the other end of the snail began to slow to a halt, he stared impassively at the result.

Death.

Hawkins observed the painted Reaper's grim smile for a moment before laying the card down with a sigh.

"How trite."

-o-

"Whydid you leave the transceiver running through that?" a green-faced Paulie groused. "Seriously, not everyone in the world is a doctor as crazy as yours!"

"They can't hear you, you know," chirped Hattori, the man whose shoulder he was perched on looking only slightly ill-at-ease, while the pigeon seemed somewhat dizzy.

"That was a rather graphic display," Iceburg muttered, glancing out the door at the rest of Water 7. "Perhaps I should try and find out if he can be sued—"

"Unlikely," Kalifa promptly answered. "There is simply no precedent for a privately produced global broadcast like this. The few methods of transmitting one are under Marine and World Government control and require significant Transponder power. Given they only utilize this capability in extraordinary cases, something of the magnitude of Gol D. Roger's execution, there simply hasn't been a need for regulations covering this eventuality." A moment to adjust her glasses, and she continued. "That aside, even had the laws existed, it's highly doubtful that Jeremiah Cross would submit to be prosecuted by them."

Iceburg raised an eyebrow at his secretary's dry tone. Seeing his surprise, she gave her boss a flat look.

"My apologies for the unprofessionalism, Mayor Iceburg, I am perhaps a bit off my game from having to listen to a round of electroshock torture followed by live open-chest surgery."

"She has a point, Mayor. Do you see anyone here composed after that?" Lulu asked, pushing a wayward strand of his nose hair back into his nostril, only to wince as his armpit hair suddenly jabbed into his arm.

"And considering just how rough the yard is with all the pirates and Marines we get, that's really saying something!" Tilestone rumbled, the quietest his voice could go.

"Alrighgrrgghgghhhggghhh," Chopper suddenly ground out before panting wearily. "Huff… huff… I'm getting too used to that. A-Alright, his organs are stable now, but we need to move to his limbs. At this point, it's not going to be possible to avoid scarring, but maybe if I—"

"Um, guys?" Vivi cut in hesitantly. "I realize this might be a bad time, but did Cross ever hang up the SBS?"

The ensuing silence was incredible.

"Finally, someonenotices," Kaku breathed in relief.

"Wait, you mean the whole wowld's been wistening to this nightmawe!?" Carue asked in disbelief.

"What the hell, slimeball!?" Su demanded.

"I'm sorry, I was too busy with the fact thatMY BEST FRIEND WAS GETTING TORTURED AND ALMOST DIED!"

"Might still die if you all don't shut up and let me work in peace! AND NO, I'M NOT AMPING AGAIN!" Chopper roared. "Give me that!"

There was a loud click, and then the Transponder Snail sagged and wheezed miserably, its throat no doubt sore from the acoustic horrors it had been forced to share.

"Kalifa, could you find the best treatment for a Transponder Snail's sore throat? And then start handing it out across town?"

"Right away, sir."

-o-

My return to consciousness was slow and painful.

Wait, did I already say that? Ehhhhh, so hard to think. Everything was just so fuzzyyyaaaARGH! BURNS, BURNS! NOT FUZZY, NOT FUZZ—Ah, no, wait, wait, this was soft, this was soft.

Ahhh. Now, this felt nice, really nice, like feathers. Goose or seagull or… duck? Wait a second.

"Carue…?" I moaned blearily.

"Oh, good, you're awake."

I tried to turn my head and open my eyes, only for said body parts to lodge a protest in the form of a pair of car bombs of pain.

This was bad. I don't usually get this flowery.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," said a brown blob next to me that I think was Chopper. "Eneru did a lot of damage. You almost died, and you're not completely out of danger yet."

"Aaargh…" I craned my neck back and forth as much as I could, ignoring the needles of pain that flared in my neck. "Wha—? Where are we?"

"We're heading towards the coast, getting you back to the Merry so that Chopper can work on you further," said someone sitting behind me on the supersonic duck. Conis, I think? Yeah, had to be, that was blonde hair, and Sanji's silhouette did not look like that. Well, not without Ivankov's involvement, anyway. Didn't Oda do a bit with tha-a-a—wow, was I out of it.

I blinked slowly, fighting through the pain to try to get my eyes working again. "We…? Who's…?"

"Conis, Chopper, Vivi, the duck, the snail, and me!" a white blur perched on Conis' shoulders provided.

Wait. I scrunched my face as I tried to get my ducks in a row. Screwed as my head was, that number of names didn't add up. "Wait, what? What about Lassoo?"

"Goat soldiers started converging on the BEANSTALK!" Soundbite provided. "HE STAYED TO kick ass, take names AND COVER OUR TRACKS."

"On his own?"

"I called MIKEY AND LEO for backup."

"Hey, I think I can see da coast!" Carue suddenly squawked.

"Oh, that's goo…goo…" I started to say before listlessly trailing off. Freaking hell, since when did my tongue feel like it was made of lead? Ergh, my head…

"Grrgh… guh…"

"Cross? Croooss…?"

Whose voice was that? I could barely hear anything. It was like I was underwater or something…

Time passed weirdly for me. I'm pretty sure I was carried onto a rocking frame that had to be the Merry. There was a lot of motion, a lot of talking. Some yelling too, maybe, but I couldn't really make out who was saying what. I might have felt some tugging on my arms, but it was hard to tell. For some reason, all feeling stopped past my shoulders. Same with my legs actually.

Eh. Probably not important. Despite the lack of feeling in my limbs, or maybe because of it, I slowly found myself starting to relax. The ocean swell, the gentle breeze, the sound of my crewmates rushing around? It was soothing.

And then, all at once, the world became white and shook and roaredand—well, that must have been too much for my brain because the next thing I knew, everything was black.

-o-

'Oh, hey, that cloud looks like Luffy's stupid face…' was my first thought when I opened my eyes again.

My second was a hazy reiteration of my thoughts the last time I woke up: lying on a surface as soft as down. I must have been getting slightly better, because I made the connection that I was lying on Carue again. A mobile Carue. Alone… wait, what?

"Hhhnnngh…?" I tried to shift around on the duck's back, only to be stopped by a familiar hoof.

"Cross! Are you awake again?" Chopper asked desperately.

"Nngh, barely…" I moaned, slowly bringing the back of my bandaged hand to my forehead. The fact that the motion didn't send a cascade of agony through me was a very good sign. "W-Where—?"

Suddenly, a ripple of thunder swept through the air, causing me to shudder fearfully. Damn it, going from not fearing thunder and lightning since I was ten to full-blown astraphobia? Fan-freaking-tastic. I'd probably even have to ask Chopper to help me with it, otherwise Soundbite would have a field… day…

"Soundbite?"

"I'm here!" he piped up from my back.

"He wouldn't wet us not take him and da twansceivah with us," Carue explained.

"Wha—?" I shivered as a latent wave of pain swept over me. "What's going on? Where—?"

"Eneru started raining lightning down around the island." Chopper sent a nervous glance up at the sky. "W-We were afraid that we'd get hit, and you were having a bad reaction to the thunder, so Nami told Carue and me to head for that giant beanstalk. Aisa said it's where everyone's starting to gather, and Nami said it looked like the lightning was avoiding hitting near it. We're almost there now."

That… sounded familiar, but it was taking a hell of an effort to think through the details of the arc. Obviously, Eneru's survival game hadn't ended yet, otherwise, there'd have been some mention of the Ark Maxim and… Deathpiea, he called it. At the same time, though—wait, what was it that made Nami wind up with Eneru in the first place?

Thank goodness I didn't say that out loud, both because Eneru would have heard me and, worse, Soundbite would have heard me.

Now, what was it? Damn this arc for being so stupidly complex. Alright, let's see, she got there on the Waver, she wound up in Shandora at the same time as the others because she got out of Nola. And how did she get in Nola again? It was with Gan Fall, I remember that—right, sometime during the Ordeal of Iron, they got eaten. But what sent her there? How did she wind up on Ohm's battlefield? She left the Merry with Aisa at some point, leaving Conis and Pagaya to guard it. But Conis was already there. I needed more details.

"What else have I missed?" I asked hoarsely.

"Well…" Chopper said sadly. "While we were all going through the jungle, Eneru appeared on the Merry and flash-fried Usopp and Sanji. They're nowhere near as bad off as you, but they're still unconscious, so…"

I scowled darkly. Damn that bastard Eneru, spreading suffering and misery everywhere he—

…oh, crap.

"Soundbite…" I grit out as fast as I could manage. "C-Connect me to the Merry, qui—!"

"Guys, we'we at dah beanstawk!" Carue suddenly squawked.

I'd just raised my head to see the expanse of island clouds that covered the lower ruins of Shandora and surrounded the base of Giant Jack when I felt Soundbite tense up.

"WAIT A—OH, SHIT! RUN!"

Unfortunately, before Carue could react, a voice I'd dearly hoped I'd never hear again roared out.

"SANGO!"

I grimaced as the island clouds lit up. "Oh, this is going to su—!"

KEE-RACK!

I was becoming way too used to tumbling into the void.

-o-

"—up… —et up… I said… WAKE UP, MONGREL!"

THWACK!

"Hoorf!" I grunted as something hit me in the stomach and knocked all the air out of my lungs. "Motherfuck, that hurt! I'm gonna—kill…"

I trailed off as I looked up at Eneru towering over me. It especially didn't help that a thoroughly fried Chopper and Carue were lying on the ground behind him, smoking like briquettes.

"Let me rephrase that?" I whimpered.

"NOW you watch what you say," Soundbite whimpered, cowering on my shoulder.

"Even now, your insolent tongue wags," Eneru groused, turning to speak to someone I couldn't see. "It seems you are correct. He is in need of more persuasion."

I tried to turn my head to see who he was referring to—

THWACK!

But a rod of gold rammed into my temple, ending my brief period of consciousness.

-o-

If the fact that I was only half as hazy as the last time I'd woken up was any indication, I was definitely getting better, and quickly. Unfortunately, any joy at that fact fled at the feel of what I woke up on: a solid surface covered by a thin piece of softness. Opening my eyes, I saw that it was a red carpet, surrounded by wood and giant gears and a giant golden face oh crap.

"What the fu—MMPH!?" My confused musings were silenced by a hand slapping over my mouth.

"Shut up if you wanna live!" Nami hissed desperately. "I had to act—ah, put my reputation on the line to convince our great and merciful lord to spare your life so you could see just how wrong you were about his powers. Don't make me regret it!"

The look on her face was the only thing that made me listen: she hated what she was saying, and she was terrified.

"Yes," drawled the voice of pure evil. "As it seems that you need a more thorough demonstration of what makes me a god, I intend to give one. You will bear witness as I return everything to its place. And perhaps if you repent before the end of it, I will even permit you to accompany me to Fairy Vearth."

I fought to keep my tongue in check, and then I let a menacing smirk come over my face as I remembered what would happen. "In that case, do you have any Vision Dials? Assuming I live through this, I'd like to keep a permanentreminder of just how wrong I was."

I couldn't keep the snark completely out of my voice, but thankfully Eneru was too busy coasting on his apparent victory to care and/or notice. He just waved his hand dismissively. "The one you acquired from the heretic and her father is still in your bag. Acolyte, help him."

Nami smiled tightly. "At once, your holiness." She hastily looped my arm around her shoulders and helped me up to my feet before dragging me away, hissing in my ear on the way, "You're not serious, are you? We're in the middle of a potential genocide, and you're concerned with taking pictures?!"

"Oh, trust me, Nami," I snickered malevolently, glancing back at Eneru. Not even giving us a glance. "You're going to want this moment to be immortalized. Not every day you get a look at something so priceless."

"Oh?" Eneru asked. "So, you admit that the alleged monsters you know of on the Blue Sea are incapable of this?"

I opened my mouth to reply, but the snail teeth sinking into my neck made me think twice. "Well, I've heard legends of it, but not anything that's happened in the last, what was it? 700 years, I think," I said instead.

Eneru smirked. "Then let this be the confirmation that there is nobodylike me. You shall bear witness to the proof of my abilities as a god."

"I'm looking forward to it," I said honestly, prompting him to turn away. I looked back at Nami, who was quivering from the effort it was taking not to hit me, and I smirked maliciously.

"Hey, Nami, did you ever pass on my request to Usopp to upgrade my armor with rubber sleeves? It would have come in handy earlier."

She blinked at the non-sequitur. Then her eyes widened and a matching smirk grew on her face. "No, Cross, I don't think I ever did. But it doesn't matter much right now, does it?"

"Yeah, you have a point. We should focus on what's important: getting to a good place to take pictures. It should be a good show with how confident Eneru is about all of this."

"Absolutely," Nami said eagerly, helping me over to the port side of the boat. I fished out the Vision Dial and snapped one picture of Eneru in his current 'glory,' but besides that, I just waited for what was inevitably coming up soon. And luckily, we didn't have to wait long.

"HEY! ARE YOU ENERU?!"

I smiled eagerly at the furious roar that ripped through the massive cavern. "Here we go…"

Granted, my head was still swimming a bit, so I missed a good chunk of Eneru and Luffy's back-and-forth, and the stupidly massive—and more importantly, bright blasts of pure plasma Eneru threw at Luffy certainly didn't help.

But I couldn't miss Luffy when landed on the railing and stared at me in shock.

"Cross…" he breathed, then snapped his gaze to the 'God' onboard. "You're dead."

Eneru's response was to zap up to our captain and go for a point-blank Vari. Luffy ignored it in favor of taking a swing at Eneru, which he barely managed to dodge.

You would think that reality and the utter gravity of the situation would detract from the hilarity of Eneru's face at the blatant slap in his apparent godliness.

You would be wrong. So, so, so wrong.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

My one regret at that moment was how hard Nami, Soundbite, and I were cackling, because it made it so hard to take smooth pictures of Eneru's hilarious face. Thankfully, I managed to calm myself down just in time to snap an even better picture: Luffy slamming his foot into Eneru's stomach. Another hilarious face and a very cathartic amount of blood.

Sadly, the hilarity drained out of the situation rather fast when Eneru caught his breath and glared at us. "What are you laughing at, heathens?" he snarled, raising a crackling hand at us.

"Erk!" I gagged before shoving Nami towards the railing. "Well, we've obviously outstayed our welcome. Luffy, we'll leave it to you. See you at the victory party!"

The good news was that I mustered enough strength to shove Nami with me over the edge, just in time to dodge the blast. The bad news would have been that we were falling to our deaths, if it weren't for the fact that I was still wearing Usopp's belt.

"Please work, please work, please work…" I hissed as I fumbled at my hip and yanked a rip cord.

"AAaaaAAAaaaAA!" Soundbite hollered as a grappling hook fired out from my waist and managed to catch onto the Ark.

Good news, we managed to stay aloft. Bad news, that trick, plus Nami hanging from my neck, was absolute murder on my wounds.

"Gurk!" I flailed my arm in panic as the crew's second mate practically strangled me. "Have you ever considered losing weight? Just a bit from the chest, maybe?!"

"HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED DOING SOMETHING NOT COMPLETELY BRAINDEAD INSANE!?" Nami shrieked in my ear.

"Would you have preferred getting zapped? You're the only one on the crew who avoided it," I shot back. "And besides, we have a way out."

"What are you—?"

"HEY!"

We both looked up (or was it down? I was hanging upside down, so it was tough to tell) at Aisa, who was sitting above (or below) us on Pierre's hybrid-form back.

"Unless you want to go for a ride with that maniac, get on already!" the young oracle demanded.

"Right, on it," I agreed as I yanked a latch on the belt, an addition I'd demanded of Usopp, detaching the rope and dropping Nami and me on Pierre's back.

Aisa rammed her heels into the horse-bird's (like hell I was calling him a pegasus!) sides. "Go, go, go!"

"You could just ask nicely!" Pierre snorted before glaring at Soundbite. "AND CHANGE MY VOICE, DAMN IT!"

"NEVER!"

"JUST GO ALREADY!" Nami shrieked.

"R-Right!" Pierre squawked. Flapping his wings, he soared down toward the exits.

Aisa blinked in confusion as we went. "What the—? Hey, some weaker voices are coming this way! It sounds like your sniper and cook friends are trying to board—" And that was an outright double-take! "Riding birds!?"

"Huh!?" I'll admit, it took me a second to figure out what those maniacs thought they were doing, but once I did, I couldn't help the eager grin that spread over my face. I knew writing those notes was a good idea! "Soundbite, once they're in range, tell them that Luffy's fighting Eneru on the deck alone, so they should avoid that—" I winced as I realized a flaw in my plan. "Though, Sanji should do his best to get Nami's Waver ASAP."

"Wha—!? Dumbass!" Nami growled as she slapped her forehead.

"Anyway, tell them that once they get the Waver, they strip the Ark of as many Dials as possible, then get out before Eneru can blast them, alright?"

"Ghetto-strip THE ARK, got it!" Soundbite nodded.

"Hey, we're hitting the tunnel out!" Pierre warned us. "Watch your heads!"

As we flapped out of the cave, the new good news was that we were now on the fast track out of immediate danger.

THWACK!

The new bad news was stalactites. Stupid concussion-inducing stalactites.

-o-

I again woke up in considerable pain, though this time, it was centered around my head. The fact that that was unequivocally a good thing spoke volumes of the bad day I'd been having.

"Ergh..." I leaned up and rubbed my head. Definitely at least a bruise. A quick glance around showed that I was with the rest of the crew near the base of Giant Jack. "When are we now?"

"STARING DOWN A raging black ball of DEATH!" Soundbite cried.

"Say whaaaaOHSHIT!"

Have you ever seen truly evil-looking weather before? I'm sure you have, at one time or another: storm fronts that eat up the horizon, clouds so dark they merge almost seamlessly with the sky.

None of them compared to the sight of Eneru's Raigo. Some part of my mind made the connection that if he was trying to destroy Upper Yard, Angel Island was already gone. But I didn't have enough mental capacity to spare to feel guilt about that, considering just how close I was to getting a shock that I'd never survive. My newly acquired fear of thunderstorms, or at least lightning, wasn't helping.

Cr…Crack…CRACKLE…

As the ball of storm clouds froze and started vibrating, I blinked in confusion, then sighed in relief. "Oh, thank goodness."

FWOOM!

A thankful smile spread over my face as the cloud exploded, blasting the rest of the storm away in an explosion of wind. Then let out a whoop of joy and pumped my fist. "GOD BLESS MY CAPTAIN'S SENSE OF TIMING! GO LUFFY! KICK THAT SON OF A BITCH'S STATICKY ASS!"

"COME ON, LUFFY!" Boss roared through his cupped flippers.

"GO, CAPTAIN, GO!" the lightly charred TDWS cheered, pumping their flippers. Lassoo backed them up with a heartfelt howl and Usopp with a pair of party fans.

"RING IT, STRAW HAT!" Wiper cried from the base of what remained of the beanstalk. "LIGHT THE FIRE OF SHANDORA!"

"Let us hear it, boy," Gan Fall breathed reverentially. "The song of the island!"

Way up high, the sky flashed and raged time after time, with Luffy striking out against the false god and Eneru striking back, until finally, I saw it.

A glimmer of gold hanging down from the sky, stretching out farther and farther before finally stopping.

I was vaguely aware of the fact that I'd unhooked my Transceiver's mic from its cradle, and that Soundbite had taken the hint and started the SBS.

"People of the world," I breathed numbly. "My captain has a message he'd like to share with you all. Soundbite? Broadcast him."

"RIGHT!"

-o-

"HEY! OLD MAN CRICKET! CAN YOU HEAR IT?!"

"I can hear it," Montblanc Cricket breathed, his eyes closed in sheer bliss. "He was right. Noland was right!" His eyes shot open, a fire blazing in the pupils and a manic grin on his face. "HA! IN YOUR FACE, BASTARDS! I WAS RIGHT THIS WHOLE TIME! WHO'S THE FOOL NOW?! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Masira and Shoujou felt massive sweatdrops roll down the backs of their heads as their usually cool-headed boss cackled and ranted like a cut-rate stage villain.

"I get the feeling Old Man Cricket hasn't been entirely honest with us about his school days," Shoujou muttered.

"With a head like that, you think?" Masira mumbled back.

"WHAT WAS THAT!?"

"N-Nothing, boss!" the monkeys yelped in panic.

-o-

"WE FOUND THE CITY OF GOLD!"

"NO! NO, IT'S NOT POSSIBLE!"

"Come on, Bellamy, calm down!" one of the spring-man's underlings pleaded as he tried to hold his flailing captain down in his bed. "Think about your wounds!"

"FUCK MY WOUNDS!" the hyena roared. "THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL THAT THOSE STUPID BRIGHT-EYED DREAMERS WERE RIGHT! THE AGE OF DREAMS IS OVER! THERE IS NO ONE PIECE, THERE IS NO SKY ISLAND, THERE IS NO CITY OF—!"

"FOR THE LAST 400 YEARS, THE CITY OF GOLD…"

CLAAAAAANG!

And just like that, Bellamy froze up, liquid nitrogen flooding his body as the most beautiful sound he'd heard in his entire life came from two places at once: From the rapturous Transponder Snail in the captain's quarters of the New Witch's Tongue.

And from the darkness-covered heavens.

"WAS IN THE SKY!"

Bellamy remained frozen for the longest time, each ring of the bell hitting him like a physical force.

THWUMP!

Then his underlings' panic redoubled as he collapsed into his bed, bloody foam that had nothing to do with his snail-induced injuries bubbling out of his mouth.

-o-

Just off the coast of a certain infamous and prosperous kingdom in the New World, beneath an island-jungle, an impromptu celebration had begun in a secret colony of dwarves, who were dancing around a carved bust to the beat of the bell being transmitted via the Transponder Snail they'd stolen.

"OUR HERO HAS BEEN VINDICATED!" the sewing-dwarf hero of the Tontattas declared. "THE MISPLACED SHAME ON OUR HERO HAS BEEN DESTROYED! CHEERS FOR MONTBLANC NOLAND! CHEERS FOR THE CITY OF GOLD! AND CHEERS FOR THE STRAW HAT PIRATES, FOR PROVING TO THE WORLD THAT OUR HERO WAS NOT A FRAUD!"

"CHEERS! CHEERS!" came the thunderous reply.

-o-

Up in the North Blue, a confused child tugged on the leg of one of his parents' pants. "Mommy, daddy?" he asked softly. "Why are you crying?"

The two adults exchanged looks before wiping their tears and smiling at their child.

"N-Nothing, son," the father said happily. "Say, it's getting close to your bedtime, isn't it? What do you say we tuck you in? We have a new bedtime story we want to tell you."

"Really? Great! What's it called?"

"'Noland the Adventurer.'"

-o-

I could only do two things in the face of the bell's ringing: smile like an idiot, and cry like a baby. And why the hell not? The noise it was making, the way the resonating sound waves rolled over me, filled me. I'd never heard anything so beautiful before in my life. I didn't even think something so beautiful could exist.

"I have seen the face of god," Soundbite breathed through his slack jaw.

I hiccuped in agreement as I shakily brought the mic to my mouth. "Well, looks like that's that. It put us through the wringer, and it was crazy. But, well, we won. It's as simple as that. And it's a good thing too, because—" I yawned tiredly. "Yeah, I'm at the end of my rope. I'll see you all later, within a day. But until then, this is Jeremiah Cross—"

"AND SOUNDBITE!"

"Signing off. G'night."

And with that, I hung up the transceiver and fell backward into oblivion.

But this time, I did so with a smile.

Xomniac AN: Downside of an early update, it's a bit lighter than our usual load. Upside? It's early! Hope you enjoyed!

Patient AN: Another pair of upsides: no cliffhanger this week, and no hiatus next week. And best of all, it's summer! Finals are over, and we've got the whole summer to write.

Hornet AN: You guys do remember I'm going on vacation for the next three weeks, right?

Patient AN: …Well, looks like I was wrong. Sorry, viewers, looks like you'll have to wait another month for the conclusion of Skypiea. Sorry.

Xomniac AN: Believe us, this pains us as much as it pains you.

Hornet AN: You guys do know you can write this thing without me, right? I mean, I'm not going to be completely unplugged.

Xomniac AN: ... well, that works too.

Patient AN: All right, then, viewers, looks like I was wrong again. We may be delayed with the next posting, but we'll see what happens. Until next time, just remember: Patience is a virtue.