-Back And Ready To Attack-

Ness's eyes widened in shock. It's Mario. It's actually him. Oh god, he's not ready to fight. Especially since he's alone and Mario has Sonic, Mickey, and Goofy with him right now. He wouldn't stand a chance.

Mario: "Ness, where's your hat?"

Ness: "I… Uh… Forgot it."

Mario: "I've told you so many times about the hat."

Ness: "I know. I'm sorry. I took a nap and just completely forgot."

Mario: "You're such a disappointment."

Ness: "I'm sorry."

Mickey: "Ho-ho, you're looking scared, Ness."

Ness: "I-I'm ok."

Mario: "Whatever. It's not that big of a deal, but if I keep catching you with these mistakes, you're going to face punishment."

Ness: "Ok. S-sorry."

Mario: "Anyway, I've brought you here today because I wanted to talk to you guys about my wedding. As you guys know, The Hands's barrier is becoming weaker. This means they're losing strength. On the day of the wedding, Mickey is going to break into Final Destination where they are hiding. Then he'll shoot them with project hands off AKA this gun."

Mario holds the gun up in the air.

Mario: "Now you guys might be wondering what this gun is about."

Sonic: "Is it going to kill The Hands?"

Mario: "Not exactly. When Mickey shoots The Hands it'll cause them to become paralyzed. However this gun has two modes. See? There's a switch. Once Mickey flips the switch, it'll suck them inside the gun. Then it'll absorb The Hands. With them out of the way, we can control smash."

Ness: "I have a question."

Everyone turned their attention to Ness. It made him jump a little. It's ok. They think he's the clone, so he has to act like the clone. How does he act again? He's confident and an asshole.

Ness: "So like.. This gun or whatever, what's in it?"

Mario: "Core Fluid."

Ness: "What's a core fluid or… Whatever."

Goofy: "It's part of the smash core."

Sonic: "Smash core?"

Mario: "It lives inside the Final Destination Stage. That's our true ticket to power."

Ness: "How did you get core fluid?"

Mario: "I have my ways."

Mickey: "He didn't do it alone."

Ness: (Core fluid… They're going to take over smash using that thing glowing around that gun. Oh no. I have to stop this. But how?)

Mario: "Any other questions?"

Sonic: "Where are we gonna be when Mickey is doing this thing?"

Mario: "Why, at the wedding of course."

Sonic: "We just have to pretend to act normal."

Goofy: "Yup. Pretty easy job, right?"

Ness: "Seems easy enough, haha!"

Mario: "This isn't a problem, right Sonic?"

Sonic: "Of course. I just wanted to know if you wanted me to sneak around to make sure everything is going smoothly."

Mario: "I trust Mickey."

Mickey: "Ho-ho! Are you trying to downplay me, hog?"

Sonic: "N-not at all."

Mario: "Alright, now we all know about the plan."

Goofy: "Wait, what do I do?"

Mickey: "You'll be at the wedding. Don't worry about me. I don't make mistakes, so the plan will go through fine."

Goofy: "Yes, sir."

Mario: "Meeting dismissed."

Ness followed Clone Sonic out of the bunker. He couldn't believe that it worked. No one realized he was the real Ness. How did he get away with that? Also what's up with that core fluid? Could that fluid be inside the cuffs in the cave? Is that why he couldn't use any of his powers?

"Why are you following me?" Clone Sonic asked.

"I dunno."

A moment of silence passes.

"So, you think the plan is going to work?" Ness asked.

"Yeah. Just… Try not to fuck this one up, ok."

"Hey! What do you take me for? Just because I'm cooler than you doesn't mean you have to be jealous."

"Cooler? Ha! You're just a man whore."

(Wow I've never expected anyone to call me that.) "Pssh you're just jealous because you can't pull."

"There you go again. Being your snarky self."

"What can I say? I have a personality unlike you."

"Geez, dude. You were real with me one second and now you're back to being a cocky asshole."

"Real with you?"
"Yeah you know, when you talked to me about your relationship problems."

"I did?"

"Don't you remember? You talked about how you felt bad about lying to everyone."

"I was joking."

"It didn't seem like you were."

"Yeah, well I wanted to see your reaction."

"It was a bit out of character. I mean, you were talking about wanting to be the real Ness's friend."

"What?"

"Yeah you were talking about how you guys could fix each other."

"Like how?"

"I dunno. You were the one that said it. Something about mental issues."

"R-really?"

"Yeah. I don't know why you would want to be friends with the enemy."

"I don't."

"Clearly I know that now. You're back to being obnoxious. But for a second you scared. You genuinely seemed serious."

"I… (The clone wants to be friends with me? He called me pathetic. Why would he want to be friends?)

"Well anyway, I'mma go do my own thing."

"Wait! I kind of forgot what I said that night. I was uh.. High. Can you tell me more?"

"You weren't high."

"I was."

"I dunno man. You were like crazy emotional that night."

"What did I say? What about the mental thing?"

"You said that you could see being friends with him. You could teach him about confidence and he could teach you about boundaries and patience."

"I said all that?"

"Yeah. I was surprised."

"Me too."

"Jeez, how high were you? I couldn't even tell."

"I don't know."

"Any other questions? Can I go now?"

"Yeah."

He watched Clone Sonic run off. The clone Ness wanted to be his friend? Could he have changed? No, that's ridiculous. Last time they talked he was a complete dick. That was a while ago… No, there's no way. They hate each other.

Ness didn't want to think about his clone anymore. It's complicated and irrelevant. He needs to focus on getting into Mario's room. When they were leaving it seemed like Mario was heading back to the mansion.

He went to the mansion to look for Mario. If he's in his room, he can't break in. As he was walking he saw Princess Peach. He could use her to lure Mario out.

"Peach!" He called out.

"Oh, hi, Ness."

"Wow, you look great."

"I do, don't I? Wait… Are you trying to hook up with me too?"

"What?"

"I know your true colors. Just because you were able to swoon most girls here doesn't mean you could get me to fall for your charm."

"N-no! I didn't mean it like that!"

"Yeah, right. I'm the hottest character in the roster. Of course you would be after me."

"No I-

"But I'm not into twinks. I'm more into manly men."

"I am manly!"

"Ha! Not even close."

"Whatever. I wasn't trying to flirt with you. I was just saying that you look great-

"That's literally flirting."

"Can I finish?"

"I'm going to post on social media that you tried to sleep with me."

"Look I was just saying you look great. Maybe you should go on a nice summer night walk date with Mario. That's all I was going to suggest."

"A nice summer walk, huh?"

"I was trying to be nice."

"That's actually not a bad idea."

"You should text him."

"I will~"

(Jeez, she completely flipped a switch…)

Peach took out her phone and texted Mario.

[- Mario

Peach: Do u want to go on a night walk with me?

Mario: Sorry hun I'm a little busy

"He says he's busy," Peach frowned.

"What? You should push it. If he truly loved you, he would stop what he's doing."

"You're right! We're about to be married. He should be giving me attention."

[- Mario

Peach: We're going on a night walk

Mario: Baby I already told u that I'm busy

Peach: I don't care. Your about to be my husband. This might be the last time we'll go on a date as just boyfriend and girlfriend. Its special to meeee

Mario: Alright fine

Peach: Yay! I want to take a walk in the garden. Meet me there

Mario: Ok

"Eeeee! He said yes!" Peach squealed.

"Nice!"

"Oh thank you, Ness. You're such a wingman~"

"You're welcome." (That was easier than I thought.)

He watched her prance away. He walked around the halls looking for Mario's room for the 100th time. Hopefully he won't get interrupted again. Byleth's room, Captain Falcon's room, Red's room, and oh look at that, Mario's room! Alright, now how is he going to break in?

He heard the door next to him open and slam. He looked over to see Red. They locked eyes. Ness awkwardly smiled and waved his hand at him.

"You! You have some fucking nerve," Red walked over to him.

"H-hey, what's up, Red?"

"Don't give me that fake friendly greeting bullshit."

"Oh, s-sorry."

"What you did to Leaf is unforgivable!"

"What?"

"Don't act dumb."

"What did I do to Leaf?"

"DO I HAVE TO SPELL IT OUT FOR YOU?!"

The other smashers heard the commotion and walked over to see the drama. Oh no, this is the last thing he wanted. He needs to leave.

"Um, I have no idea what you're talking about, but whatever I did I'm sorry. Anyway, I was just on my way," Ness said, walking backwards.

"NO!" Red grabbed Ness by the shirt and pulled him closer.

*Gulps*

"You cheated on my best friend!"

"What?!"

"Don't act dumb now that there's people watching us. She has video proof of it!"

"V-video proof? I'm sorry… VIDEO PROOF?!"

"I know Leaf said to leave you alone, but I might beat your face in anyway."

"Get off of me, dude!" Ness forcefully pulled his hand off.

Red punched Ness on the face. The crowd gasped. Pyra got between them and tried to reason with Red.

Pyra: "Red, knock it off. I know you're mad, but this isn't going to fix anything."

Red: "You're backing him up because you two fucked. Stay out of this whore!"

Pyra: "Red, how could you say that?"

Ness: "It's not true. We didn't fuck."

Pyra: "He's right. Isabelle is spreading this horrible rumor."

Ness: "Isabelle?!"

Pyra: "Haven't you seen her post?"

Red: "Nah. You two are trying to pretend like you didn't fool around. I know him. He's a fucking hoe. You both are."

Pyra: "I am not!"

Red: "Look at you with your big tits constantly out."

Pyra: "Fuck you! That doesn't mean I sleep around. It's how I like to dress."

Red: "Only sluts dress like that. Don't give me that."

Ness: "Dude, not cool."

Red: "What's not cool is you fucking half the roster behind my best friend's back."

Ness: "I didn't fuck half the roster!"

Red: "You lying son of a bitch! Come here!"

Red tried to attack Ness again, but Pyra was blocking his path. Ness used this chance to flee. Dammit! He was so close. He needs to get into Mario's room. Although he didn't exactly have a plan on getting in there anyway. Right now Mario is busy with Peach. He could go stop by Smash Meyer to see if he could buy anything that could get him into the room.

He ran to Smash Meyer and looked around the store. It didn't take him long to find a lock picking set. He bought it with the little money had left. He made his way back to where Mario's room was. He saw that Red and the crowd were gone.

He put his hood on to mask his face. He started picking at the lock with the kit he bought. He sent Lucky to watch guard. There were a couple times when a smasher was walking by, but Lucky was able to distract them and lead them to a different direction. Almost 20 painful minutes go by and he finally unlocks the door. He returned Lucky back into the ball and he stepped inside the room.

Mario's room was full of Mario merch. Go figure. There were pictures of himself and Peach on the walls. Tch! He kissed Kirby. His love for her is fake. Stop checking his room out. Now's the time to look for the key.

He dug around the drawers in his desk, closet, cupboards, and even the entertainment center. He couldn't find anything! Where the fuck is that key?!

Rustle Rustle

Fuck! That's the doorknob. He quickly threw himself in the closet. He buried himself in a bunch of clothes and hid in the corner. Lucky the drawer for his clothes made it difficult for anyone to see him.

"Oh, Mario. That was a wonderful walk~" Peach chirped.

"I know. It was fun."

"You know what else could be fun?"

"Oh I think I know~"

The lights turned off. Ness heard the couple kissing each other. Oh no… This… Oh hell fucking no.

Warning: ASMR PORN

"God, you're so hot, Mario!" Peach aggressively flirted.

"Tell me you want it, you dirty whore."

"I want it. I want it bad."

"What do you want exactly?"

"Your mushroom cock."

"What a thirsty whore you are."

"Give it to me, Daddy."

"I'll only give it to you if you beg."

"Please, Daddy. I want your big beautiful cock inside me~"

"Alright, if you insist."

"Yay!"

"But I want you to do something for me first."

"What's that?"

"I want you to go to my closet and bring me your favorite vibrator."

"Yes!"

"You know where it is, right?"

"The same place I always put it."

"Good girl. Now go get it for daddy."

Peach opened the closet door, but she couldn't see well because it was too dark. She turned on the flashlight through her phone and began searching for the vibrator.

Ness stayed perfectly still. She can't see him because he's buried under the clothes, but he could see her. He saw… Everything. She was naked already.

"Hm, now where is that vibrator," She said to herself.

Her hand reached over to where Ness was hiding. She touched his shoulder and he almost yelped. He pushed himself a little farther back and that's when he felt something that wasn't the wall touching his back. He quietly grabbed the thing and realized it was her vibrator.

Her hand was still searching around, so he handed her the vibrator. Luckily she doesn't have night vision because oh boy she would've seen his arm poking out of the pile of clothes. She grabbed it and shut the closet door, which caused him to sigh.

"Huh?" Peach said.

"What?" Mario raised a brow.

"I thought I heard something."

Ness covered his mouth with his hands. He was sweating. Fuck. He messed up.

"Oh, it's probably nothing. Now get over here," Mario ordered.

"Ooooh so commanding."

Thank god she didn't come back to check out the noise.

Peach: "So what're you gonna do to me, big Daddy?"

Mario: "Well first I'mma gonna put my big mushroom in that wet mouth of yours."

Ness: (No… I'm stuck here. I.. No…)

Ness hears Peach sucking Mario's dick. The fucking gulp gulp shit and everything. He covered his ears and tried to think of happy thoughts. Hmm, steak sounds great right now. Ah, yes, delicious juicy steak.

Mario: "Wait, I don't want to cum yet. Here, let's put this fun little toy inside you."

Peach: "OH YES, MARIO~"

Ness: (S-so steak. Delicious food.)

Even though Ness was covering his ears, he was still able to hear Peach's moans. She's so… Why is she so fucking loud?

Mario: "Do you want it really intense tonight?"

Peach: "Yes! Yes, I do~"

Mario: "I'm going to fuck you in the ass tonight."

Peach: "YES!"

At this point she was screaming. Ness gave up and stopped covering his ears. It didn't help anymore. His arms were getting tired anyway. He had no choice but to sit there and listen to the disturbing sex noises the two were creating. Oh god, he heard the vibrator and the bed squeaking. This is disgusting.

Mario: "You like that?" *Slaps Peach's ass*

Peach: "Ooooh yes~"

Ness: (Fucking why…)

Peach: "Slap me again!"

Ness: (I don't want to be here. Get me out.)

Mario: *Slaps Peach's ass again*

Peach: "Mario, your mushroom is amazing."

Ness: (Stop calling it a mushroom!)

Mario: "Oh Peach. Your pussy is so tight."

Peach: "Yes! Yes! Yes! Mario, your mushroom is about to give me a one up."

Ness: (Fucking one up. Who says that?!)

Peach: "Huh? Why'd you stop? I was close."

Mario: "I don't want it to end just yet."

Ness: (End it. Please.)

Ness heard the vibrator stop. Are they done?

Mario: "Come up here. I want us to 69. Let me taste your Peach juice."

Ness: (PEACH JUICE?!)

He heard slurping and licking sounds. It was disturbing. He covered his ears again, but like last time, he could still hear Peach's stupid ass moans.

Peach: "Oh, yes~"

Mario: "You taste amazing. Now I'm going to clean your pipe."

Peach: "Show me what a real plumber can do."

Ness: (No… No… Please stop. I can't get out. This is literal torture.)

Mario: "Lay down, my princess."

Peach: "Ok."

Mario: "Are you ready?"

Peach: "Please give it to me."

Ness heard the bed squeak like its life depended on it. He heard so much. He heard the stereotypical ball slapping, macaroni sound, and everything.

Peach: "I'm about to cum."

Mario: "Me too. I'm gonna go faster!"

Peach: "Aaaaah~"

Mario: "Ah~"

Ness: (Are they finally done?)

He heard the two of them plop on the bed. It did one final squeak and it was finally over. That… That was an awful experience for Ness. He's glad he didn't see it. Because that would be so much worse.

Peach: "You… *Huff* Felt… *Huff* Amazing."

Mario: "I love you, Peach."

Peach: "I love you too, Mario."

Mario: "Your pussy was so wet."

Ness: (Fucking stop talking already.)

Peach: "And your dick was so hard."

Ness: (Stoooopp.)
Mario: "Your insides were squeezing my dick. I love every second of it."

Ness: (Just go to sleep guys… I need to fucking leave. Please.)

Peach: "I'm so happy we're getting married."

Mario: "Me too."

Peach: "Kiss me."

He heard the two of them kissing. Ness was getting irritated. Great fucking timing. Of course the one day he decides to break into Mario's room, he gets trapped and he has to hear them have sex. What're the fucking odds. Luckiest man alive here.

Are they still kissing? Oh my god, he needs to leave. This is scary as fuck. What if they catch him? Oh no, his nose is itchy. He had a sudden urge to sneeze. Fuck. Hold it. Hold it. Hold it. He pinched his nose and that stopped him from sneezing. He was always embarrassed sneezing in front of others because of how loud he would sneeze. So, he figured out a trick to stop him from doing so every time. Thank you, anxiety.

The couple finally stops kissing. They tell each other goodnight and silence fills the room. Ness waited. Once he heard snoring, he slowly slid the closet door open. He crawled toward the exit.

He spotted Mario's clothes on the floor as he was leaving. It wouldn't hurt to check, right? He went through the pockets. He felt the key. He felt immense joy. He… He has the key. Don't get excited yet, he still has to leave. He continued to crawl. Once he reached the door, he stood up. He slowly opened the door and closed it behind him.

HE MADE IT OUT ALIVE! He's actually out. YES! It was so worth it. He jumped for joy and left the area. He made his way to the bathroom and double checked the key. Yes, this is the one he remembers. Mario used it on his cuff when he moved it to his right wrist instead of ankle. He started to cry tears of excitement. YES!

Now the next step was to go to the cave and free his cave mates, but a part of him wanted to check out that bunker again. If he could somehow take that gun, then Mario's plan will be foiled. However, he'll do it tomorrow. He's sleepy. He went to a stall and slept on the bathroom floor.