Chapter 4
I do not own any of J.K Rowling's characters.
I walked behind Dumbledore, Fudge, the old Committee member I didn't know the name of, and Macnair the executioner as we hurried down the steps of the front entrance and all the way down to Hagrid's hut. I was seriously questioning my position on the Wizengamot at this point and was dreading the moment Buckbeak was to be executed.
Dumbledore knocked on the front door of Hagrid's hut and after a few moments, Hagrid opened it. One by one we entered the hut and I closed the door behind me.
"Where is the beast?" Macnair asked his cold voice sending a chill up my spine.
"Out – outside," Hagrid croaked.
Macnair looked out the window, staring at Buckbeak.
"We – er – have to read you the official notice of execution, Hagrid. I'll make it quick. And then you and Macnair need to sign it. Madam Megera is here to witness as a member of the Wizengamot. Macnair, you're supposed to listen too, that's the procedure –" Fudge said looking over at the back of Macnair's head and continuing after Macnair had turned around. "It is the decision of the Committee for the Disposal of Dangerous Creatures that the Hippogriff Buckbeak, hereafter called the condemned, shall be executed on the sixth of June at sundown … sentenced to execution by beheading, to be carried out by the Committee's appointed executioner, Walden Macnair… as witnessed below, Meghana Maximiliana Megera. Hagrid, you sign here …" I watched as Hagrid signed and took the quill from him to sign my name below.
"Well, let's get this over with," said the Committee member.
"Hagrid, perhaps it would be better if you stayed inside –" I said looking at Hagrid sadly.
"No, I – I wan' ter be with him … I don' wan' him ter be alone –" Hagrid choked out as he started to walk towards the back door.
"One moment, please, Macnair," came Dumbledore's voice from behind me "You need to sign, too."
Macnair grumbled something under his breath that I didn't catch but signed hastily on the parchment and waited impatiently as I witnessed his signature as well. Then he opened the back door so forcefully it opened with a bang.
"Where is it?" said the Committee member. "Where is the beast?"
"It was tied here!" said the Macnair furiously. "I saw it! Just here!"
I stepped outside and looked at the empty patch where Buckbeak was lying seemingly, seconds ago and felt a small smile creep onto my face. Buckbeak had escaped!
"How extraordinary" came Dumbledore's voice from behind me again except this time I noticed a note of amusement in his voice.
There was a swishing noise, and the thud of an axe as Macnair brought down his axe into the fence in anger, making me jump slightly.
"Gone! Gone! Bless his little beak, he's gone! Musta pulled himself free! Beaky, yeh clever boy!" Hagrid sobbed.
"Someone untied him!" Macnair snarled. "We should search the grounds, the Forest –"
"Macnair, if Buckbeak has indeed been stolen, do you really think the thief will have led him away on foot?" said Dumbledore, still sounding amused. "Search the skies, if you will … Hagrid, I could do with a cup of tea. Or a large brandy. Do you agree Professor Megera?"
"Absolutely Headmaster" I said turning to him still smiling slightly.
"O' – o' course, Professor Dumbledore, Professor Megera," said Hagrid, who sounded weak with happiness. "Come in, come in …"
I followed Dumbledore back into Hagrid's hut and was closely followed by Fudge and Macnair who was still muttering curses.
After about 40 minutes, I excused myself and started to make my way back up to the castle. It was getting dark now and I pulled my cloak tighter around myself as the wind blew icy cold.
In the distance, I saw the castle doors fly open and in the light that flooded out of the doors, I saw Severus running towards the Whomping Willow.
I stopped walking as I watched him skid to a halt next to the tree, looked around grabbed what looked like a cloak and held it up. He then seized a branch, prodded the knot of the tree and it halted. He then vanished from view.
I knew I shouldn't get involved with Severus' affairs but, my curiosity was getting the better of me as I found myself jogging over to the Whomping Willow. I pointed my wand directly at it and muttered "Arresto Momentum" and watched as the tree instantly froze.
I made my way through an opening at the base of the tree where I assumed Severus had vanished and found myself in a narrow passageway.
The smell of soil and damp vegetation hit my nose as I hastily made my way along the passageway only pausing when I reached the stairs up to what appeared to be a dilapidated shack.
I heard Severus shouting. "DON'T TALK ABOUT WHAT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!"
Frowning, I climbed the wooden stairs, stumbling over my robes as I pushed the door open. Cursing under my breath, I pulled my robe from underneath my boot placing my hand on Severus' back to steady myself and said
"Sev, what are you …" but I trailed off as I finally looked up and took in the scene in front of me.
To my right, I saw Remus tied up and on the floor and to my left Hermione and Harry standing together next to Ron who was lying on a musty-looking bed with a look of pain on his face.
Severus spun around at my touch looking down at me but maintained his wand pointing straight at the man in front of him. My gaze finally landed on this man's face and I froze as I looked at Sirius Black, my hand falling from Severus' back to my side.
It felt like my heart had stopped beating as an array of feelings that I hadn't expected rose in my chest.
Anger and resentment for what he had done, not only to Lily and James but also intense sadness and grief for the life I once had with him. His eyes were exactly how I remembered them, however there was now a haunting dead look that Azkaban had obviously given them.
He was a shell of the man I had last seen.
That man had told me that he loved me, then betrayed our best friends and shattered my heart in the process.
"Meghana" Sirius croaked his face softening.
I swallowed but said nothing, the grip on my wand becoming tighter.
"How ironic Black-" Severus said turning around to Sirius again "-your former lover is now a loyal and dedicated member of the Wizengamot."
I wasn't sure what to do.
I just stood there staring at Sirius.
I had dreamed of the day I would see him again although obviously, my dreams had never created this scenario.
"Vengeance is very sweet," Severus breathed at Sirius. "How I hoped I would be the one to catch you …"
"The joke's on you again, Severus," snarled Sirius. "As long as this boy brings his rat up to the castle –" he jerked his head at Ron and I frowned looking over at Ron, "– I'll come quietly …"
"The castle?" said Severus silkily. "I don't think we need to go that far. All I have to do is call the Dementors once we get out of the Willow. They'll be very pleased to see you, Black … pleased enough to give you a little kiss, I daresay …"
What little colour there was in Sirius' face left it.
My eyes trailed to Remus on the floor. He met my gaze as though he was trying to tell me something, although I was unsure what to make of it. I looked back at Sirius who was looking at me, almost pleadingly.
"You – you've got to hear me out," he croaked more to me than to Severus. "The rat – look at the rat –"
What rat?
I stepped sideways to look up at Severus, who had a mad glint in his eye as he addressed Harry, Ron and Hermione keeping his wand pointed at Sirius.
"Come on, all of you," he said.
He clicked his fingers, and the ends of the cords that bound Remus flew to his hands. "I'll drag the werewolf. Perhaps the Dementors will have a kiss for him, too –"
Sirius' breathing had elevated slightly as he looked at me again, that pleading look still in his eyes.
As though there was something he needed to tell me.
Why was I so hesitant to trust him?
I had promised my life to this man. He meant everything to me at one point.
Exactly, Meg, I thought to myself. At one point.
I mean, he had to be the reason Lily and James were dead. What explanation could he possibly have that would change my mind?
Because he would never betray James, or Lily, or you the small logical voice at the back of my head said and you know this because you love him.
I took in a deep breath as I raised my wand slowly and pointed it at Sirius.
Severus sneered "As much as I would love to watch how this tragic reunion plays out Meg, I think it's best we get the Minister to order the Dementors on him." he said as I flicked my eyes to him but not before noticing Sirius swallow at Severus' words.
If I was going to do this I'd better act now, so, in one quick movement I brought my wand level to Severus' chest and said "Stupefy!"
Severus crumpled to the floor and I prayed that he would forgive me later as I heard Hermione gasp.
"Meg, I-" Sirius started as he moved towards me but stopped instantly as I pointed my wand back at him
"Don't-" I said dangerously "Don't make me regret just doing that. What is going on here?"
I flicked my wand at Remus and the ropes binding him fell away before I quickly moved it back at Sirius who eyed me warily.
Remus straightened up, rubbing his arms where the ropes had cut into them.
"Thank you, Meg," he said also eying me cautiously.
He then looked over at Sirius and said "I think it's time we offered everyone some proof, Sirius,"
"Proof of what exactly?" I said suspiciously.
Sirius finally looked away from me and turned to look at Ron.
"You, boy – give me Peter. Now." He muttered
Ron clutched his rat closer to his chest.
"Come off it," he said weakly. "Are you trying to say you broke out of Azkaban just to get your hands on Scabbers? I mean …" he looked up at Harry and Hermione for support. "OK, say Pettigrew could turn into a rat – there are millions of rats – how's he supposed to know"
"Pettigrew?" I asked but it seemed no one had heard me.
"You know, Sirius, that's a fair question," said Remus, turning to Sirius and frowning slightly. "How did you find out where he was?"
Sirius took out a crumpled piece of paper from inside his tattered robes, which he smoothed flat, and held out to show us. It was a photograph of the Weasley family that had appeared in the Daily Prophet the previous summer, and there, on Ron's shoulder, was the rat he was now holding.
I still didn't understand what was going on.
"How did you get this?" Remus asked Sirius, thunderstruck.
"Fudge," said Sirius. "When he came to inspect Azkaban last year, he gave me his paper. And there was Peter, on the front page … on this boy's shoulder … I knew him at once … how many times had I seen him transform? And the caption said the boy would be going back to Hogwarts … to where Harry was …"
"My God," said Remus softly, staring from Scabbers to the picture in the paper and back again. "His front paw …"
"What about it?" said Ron defiantly.
"The only thing they said they found of Peter was his-," said Sirius
"Finger" I finished quietly surprising myself as I remembered reading about it all those years ago. I met Sirius' gaze briefly as he looked at me.
My brain had finally caught up.
"Of course," Remus breathed, "so simple … He cut it off himself?"
"Just before he transformed," said Sirius turning to Remus. "When I cornered him, he yelled for the whole street to hear that I'd betrayed Lily and James. Then, before I could curse him, he blew apart the street with the wand behind his back, killed everyone within twenty feet of himself – and sped down into the sewer with the other rats …"
I frowned at this information, thinking hard.
"And why did he fake his death?" Harry said furiously. "Because he knew you were about to kill him like you killed my parents!"
"No," said Remus. "Harry –"
"And now you've come to finish him off!"
"Yes, I have," said Sirius, with an evil look at Scabbers.
"Then you should have let Snape take him!" Harry shouted at me and I raised my eyebrows.
"Harry," said Remus hurriedly, "don't you see? All this time we've thought Sirius betrayed your parents but it was the other way around, don't you see? Peter betrayed your mother and father – "
It just wasn't adding up and I looked at Remus shaking my head slightly and frowning again, imploring him to get to the truth.
"Remus, it doesn't make any sense, Peter wasn't their Secret-Kee…oh" I trailed off looking at the floor as it suddenly did make sense.
Sirius had swapped with Peter.
I closed my eyes as I remembered the last time I saw Sirius - he had been beside himself, almost acting insane.
Sirius was pacing frantically, his eyes wide and jumping at the slightest noise "I have to go to the Potter's" he said finally stopping and looking over at me.
"Okay, then I'll come with you," I said quickly not really understanding what was going on with him, but knowing that I couldn't leave him alone right now.
"No!" Sirius snapped at me and I frowned at his tone of voice.
I opened my mouth ready to retort but, was drowned out by a loud crash echoing through the house.
"Meg! Sirius! - we need you!" someone called urgently from another room.
Sirius walked over to me, grabbed the tops of my arms and kissed me hard, but as we broke apart he kept his forehead against mine.
"Sirius, what is going on?" I whispered urgently to him, panic flooding my entire being.
"I love you," he said quietly.
He quickly turned away and disapparated before I could stop him, leaving me alone and very confused.
Anger flared inside my chest as I opened my eyes and stared at Sirius "Why didn't you say anything?!" I asked angrily through gritted teeth. Sirius shook his head slowly; his sunken eyes were suddenly over-bright and, although I was still furious, I lowered my wand slowly.
"NO PROFESSOR, HE SAID HE KILLED THEM!" Harry yelled "HE SAID SO BEFORE ANY OF YOU TURNED UP"
"Harry… I as good as killed them," Sirius croaked. "I persuaded Lily and James to change to Peter at the last moment, persuaded them to use him as Secret-Keeper instead of me … I'm to blame, I know it … the night they died, I'd arranged to check on Peter, make sure he was still safe, but when I arrived at his hiding place, he'd gone but there was no sign of a struggle. It didn't feel right. I was scared. I set out for your parents' house straight away. And when I saw their house, destroyed, and their bodies – I realised what Peter must have done. What I'd done."
His voice broke and he turned away.
I glared at the back of him. I was still too angry to feel pity for him. How could he have been so stupid?
I turned to look at Remus, almost as though I was seeking an explanation from him.
He glanced at me briefly but quickly turned to Harry, Ron and Hermione.
"Enough of this," said Remus, a steely note in his voice. "There's one certain way to prove what really happened. Ron, give me that rat."
"What are you going to do with him if I give him to you?" Ron asked Remus tensely.
"Force him to show himself," said Remus. "If he really is a rat, it won't hurt him."
Ron hesitated, then at long last held out Scabbers and Remus took him. Scabbers began to squeak without stopping, twisting and turning, his tiny black eyes bulging in his head.
"Ready, Sirius?" said Remus.
Sirius retrieved Severus' wand from the floor and approached Remus and the struggling rat, and his wet eyes suddenly seemed to be burning.
"Together?" he said quietly.
"I think so," said Remus, holding Scabbers tightly in one hand and his wand in the other. "On the count of three. One – two – THREE!"
A flash of blue-white light erupted from both wands; for a moment, the rat was frozen in mid-air, his small black form twisting madly – Ron yelled – the rat fell and hit the floor. There was another blinding flash of light and then – a head was shooting upwards from the ground; limbs were sprouting; the next moment, a man was standing where Scabbers had been, cringing and wringing his hands.
He was still very short, like I remembered but his thin, colourless hair was now unkempt with a large bald patch on top. He looked around at us all, his breathing fast and shallow.
"Well, hello, Peter," said Remus pleasantly, as though rats frequently erupted into old school friends around him. "Long time, no see."
"S-Sirius … R-Remus …" he squeaked and I noticed his eyes darting towards the door. "My friends … my old friends …"
Sirius raised his wand, but Remus seized him around the wrist, gave him a warning look, and then turned again to Peter, his voice light and casual.
"We've been having a little chat, Peter, about what happened the night Lily and James died. You might have missed the finer points while you were squeaking around down there on the bed –"
I took a couple of steps back towards the door, scared that Peter might try to make a run for it.
I hadn't trusted Peter when we were younger but now those feelings of mistrust were amplified. There was always something "off" about Peter in my opinion.
"Remus," gasped Peter, beads of sweat breaking out over his pasty face, "you don't believe him, do you … He tried to kill me, Remus …"
"So we've heard," said Remus, more coldly. "I'd like to clear up one or two little matters with you, Peter, if you'd be so –"
"He's come to try and kill me again!" Peter shrieked suddenly, pointing at Sirius with his middle finger. "He killed Lily and James and now he's going to kill me, too … you've got to help me, Remus …"
I stole a look at Sirius who was staring at Peter with his fathomless eyes.
"No one's going to try and kill you until we've sorted a few things out," said Remus.
"Sorted things out?" squealed Peter, looking wildly about him once more, eyes taking in the boarded windows and, again, the only door.
His small eyes landed on me standing in the doorway.
"I knew he'd come after me! I knew he'd be back for me! I've been waiting for this for twelve years!"
"You knew Sirius was going to break out of Azkaban?" said Remus, his brow furrowed. "When nobody has ever done it before?"
"He's got dark powers the rest of us can only dream of!" Pettigrew shouted shrilly. "How else did he get out of there? I suppose He Who Must Not Be Named taught him a few tricks!"
Sirius started to laugh, a horrible, mirthless laugh that filled the whole room.
"Voldemort, teach me tricks?" he said.
Peter flinched as though Sirius had brandished a whip at him.
"What, scared to hear your old master's name?" said Sirius. "I don't blame you, Peter. His lot aren't very happy with you, are they?"
"Don't know – what you mean, Sirius –" muttered Peter, his breathing faster than ever. His whole face was shining with sweat now.
"You haven't been hiding from me for twelve years," said Sirius. "You've been hiding from Voldemort's old supporters. I heard things in Azkaban, Peter … they all think you're dead, or you'd have to answer to them … I've heard them screaming all sorts of things in their sleep. Sounds like they think the double-crosser double-crossed them. Voldemort went to the Potters' on your information … and Voldemort met his downfall there. And not all Voldemort's supporters ended up in Azkaban, did they? There are still plenty out here, biding their time, pretending they've seen the error of their ways … If they ever got wind that you were still alive, Peter –"
"Don't know … what you're talking about …" said Peter again, more shrilly than ever. He wiped his face on his sleeve and looked up at Remus and then flicked his eyes to me. "You don't believe this – this madness, Remus –Meg"
I scoffed looking down at him with disgust "I must admit, Peter, I have difficulty in understanding why an innocent man would want to spend twelve years as a rat," I said evenly.
"Innocent, but scared!" squealed Peter. "If You-Know-Who's supporters were after me, it was because I put one of their best men in Azkaban – the spy, Sirius Black!"
Sirius' face contorted.
"How dare you," he growled, "I, a spy for Voldemort? When did I ever sneak around people who were stronger and more powerful than myself? But you, Peter – I'll never understand why I didn't see you were the spy from the start. You always liked big friends who'd look after you, didn't you? It used to be us … me and Remus … and James …"
Peter wiped his face again; he was almost panting for breath.
"Lily and James only made you Secret-Keeper because I suggested it," Black hissed, so venomously that Peter took a step backwards. "I thought it was the perfect plan … a bluff … Voldemort would be sure to come after me, he would never dream they'd use a weak, talentless thing like you … it must have been the finest moment of your miserable life, telling Voldemort you could hand him the Potters."
Peter started to mutter distractedly and his eyes continued to dart towards the windows and door. He was shaking his head, mouthing noiselessly, as he looked back at Sirius as though hypnotised.
"And you just waited, biding your time for the perfect moment to give Voldemort Harry. Because then who'd dare say you'd betrayed Lord Voldemort? You'd be welcomed back into his circle with honours …So you see, I had to do something. I was the only one who knew Peter was still alive. It was as if someone had lit a fire in my head, and the Dementors couldn't destroy it … it wasn't a happy feeling … it was an obsession … but it gave me strength, it cleared my mind. So, one night when they opened my door to bring food, I slipped past them as a dog … it's so much harder for them to sense animal emotions that they were confused … I was thin, very thin … thin enough to slip through the bars … I swam as a dog back to the mainland … I journeyed north and slipped into the Hogwarts grounds as a dog … I've been living in the Forest ever since … except when I come to watch the Quidditch, of course … you fly as well as your father did, Harry …"
I watched him looking at Harry, who did not look away. I was questioning every sentence Sirius had just said, trying to understand, my mind analysing every word. Piecing it together.
"Believe me," He croaked to Harry. "Believe me. I never betrayed James and Lily. I would have died before I betrayed them."
And as Harry looked at Sirius, he nodded. Something softened in my heart, quelling the anger ever so slightly.
"No!" Peter had fallen to his knees as though Harry's nod had been his own death sentence. He shuffled forward on his knees, grovelling, his hands clasped in front of him as though praying.
"Sirius – it's me … it's Peter … your friend … you wouldn't …"
Sirius kicked out and Pettigrew recoiled.
"There's enough filth on my robes without you touching them," said Sirius.
"Remus!" Peter squeaked, turning to Remus instead, writhing imploringly in front of him. "You don't believe this … Wouldn't Sirius have told you they'd changed the plan?"
"Not if he thought I was the spy, Peter," said Remus. "I assume that's why you didn't tell me, Sirius?" he said casually over Peter's head.
I frowned at Remus' words. Surely Sirius hadn't thought that I was a spy for Voldemort?
Was this why he hadn't told me? We had told each other everything and trusted one another implicitly… or so I thought.
"Forgive me, Remus," said Sirius.
"Not at all, Padfoot, old friend," said Remus, who was now rolling up his sleeves. "And will you, in turn, forgive me for believing you were the spy?"
"Of course," said Sirius, and the ghost of a grin flitted across his gaunt face. He, too, began rolling up his sleeves. "Shall we kill him together?"
"Yes, I think so," said Remus grimly.
My mind suddenly jolted.
Wait, kill him?
"You wouldn't … you won't …"
Peter knelt, trembling uncontrollably, and turned his head slowly towards Harry.
"Harry … Harry … you look just like your father … just like him …"
"HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO HARRY?" roared Sirius. "HOW DARE YOU TALK ABOUT JAMES IN FRONT OF HIM?"
"Harry" whispered Peter, shuffling towards him, hands outstretched, "Harry, James wouldn't have wanted me killed … James would have understood, Harry … he would have shown me mercy …"
I watched as both Sirius and Remus strode forward, seized Peter's shoulders and threw him backwards onto the floor. He sat there, twitching with terror, staring up at them.
I knew Peter was right in a way, although I didn't know James as well as they did, I wasn't too sure what he would have done, but I knew Lily definitely would not have killed him. But after everything I had heard tonight, I wasn't sure who would have done what anymore. My heart was thumping so hard in my chest that I felt as though it would break out of my ribs.
"You sold Lily and James to Voldemort," said Sirius, who was shaking too.
Peter burst into tears.
"Sirius, Sirius, what could I have done? The Dark Lord … you have no idea … he has weapons you can't imagine … I was scared, Sirius, I was never brave like you and Remus and James. I never meant it to happen … He Who Must Not Be Named forced me –"
"DON'T LIE!" bellowed Sirius. "YOU'D BEEN PASSING INFORMATION TO HIM FOR A YEAR BEFORE LILY AND JAMES DIED! YOU WERE HIS SPY!"
"He – he was taking over everywhere!" gasped Peter. "Wh-what was there to be gained by refusing him?"
"What was there to be gained by fighting the most evil wizard who has ever existed?" said Sirius with a terrible fury in his face. "Only innocent lives, Peter!"
"You don't understand!" whined Peter. "He would have killed me, Sirius!"
"THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED!" roared Sirius an anger I had never witnessed from him before. "DIED RATHER THAN BETRAY YOUR FRIENDS, AS WE WOULD HAVE DONE FOR YOU!"
Sirius and Remus now stood shoulder to shoulder, wands raised.
"You should have realised," said Remus quietly. "If Voldemort didn't kill you, we would. Goodbye, Peter."
I looked around, unsure what I was thinking or what to do. I saw Hermione covered her face with her hands and turned to the wall.
I had to do something, I couldn't just stand here and witness them kill someone, no matter what he deserved.
"NO!" Harry yelled. He ran forward, placing himself in front of Pettigrew, facing the wands. "You can't kill him," he said breathlessly. "You can't."
I let out a shaky breath and stared at him, it was like I was looking at Lily again. Sirius and Remus both looked staggered.
"Harry, this piece of vermin is the reason you have no parents," Sirius snarled. "He would have seen you die, too, without turning a hair. You heard him. His own stinking skin meant more to him than your whole family."
"I know," Harry panted. "We'll take him up to the castle. We'll hand him over to the Dementors"
"He can go to Azkaban … just don't kill him."
I swallowed a lump in my throat, Lily would have been so proud.
"Harry!" gasped Peter, and he flung his arms around Harry's knees. "You – thank you – it's more than I deserve – thank you –"
"Get off me," Harry spat, throwing Peter's hands off him in disgust. "I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing it because I don't reckon my dad would've wanted his best friends to become killers."
No one moved or made a sound except Peter, whose breath was coming in wheezes as he clutched his chest. Sirius and Remus were looking at each other and they lowered their wands.
"But think … think what he did …" Sirius said to Harry.
"Harry is the only person who has the right to decide, Sirius," I said determined to keep my voice steady as Sirius and Remus turned to look at me.
"He can go to Azkaban," Harry repeated nodding as he looked at me. "If anyone deserves that place, he does …"
"Very well," said Remus. "Stand aside, Harry."
Harry hesitated.
"I'm going to tie him up," said Remus. "That's all, I swear."
Harry stepped out of the way. Thin cords shot from Remus' wand this time, and the next moment, Peter was wriggling on the floor, bound and gagged.
"Right," said Remus, suddenly business-like. "Ron, I can't mend bones nearly as well as Madam Pomfrey, so I think it's best if we just strap your leg up until we can get you to the hospital wing."
He hurried over to Ron, bent down, tapped Ron's leg with his wand and muttered, "Ferula." Bandages spun up Ron's leg, strapping it tightly to a splint. Remus helped him to his feet and Ron put his weight gingerly on the leg and didn't wince.
"That's better," he said. "Thanks."
"What about Professor Snape?" said Hermione in a small voice, looking down at Severus' prone figure.
"There's nothing seriously wrong with him," I said as I walked over to him trying to push the guilt I felt away as I crouched down beside him to check his pulse. I felt his pulse beating steady in his neck "Still out cold. Er – perhaps it will be best if we don't revive him until we're back in the castle - Mobilicorpus" I muttered pointing my wand at him as I stood back up. As though invisible strings were tied to Severus' wrists, neck and knees, he was pulled into a standing position and hung a few inches above the ground, his limp feet dangling.
Getting back into the tunnel was difficult. Remus, Peter and Ron had to turn sideways to manage it. Harry went right after Sirius, who was making Severus drift along ahead of them; he kept bumping his lolling head into the low ceiling. I rolled my eyes as I clearly could tell that Sirius was making no effort to prevent this.
Sirius and Harry were quietly talking about something I couldn't quite hear, but as I spotted Sirius turning around and his gaunt face broke into a smile, I saw the man I knew from what seemed like a lifetime ago. The difference his smile made to his face was startling, for a moment, I recognised him as the man who had made me feel like the most precious thing in the world.
I stopped smiling immediately as the feeling left as soon as it had appeared - this was the same man who clearly didn't trust me enough to tell me his stupid plan that ultimately led to both of our best friend's death.
By the time we all got out of the tunnel it was so dark, the only light came from the distant windows of the castle. Without a word, we carried on towards the castle. Peter was still wheezing and occasionally whimpering.
"One wrong move, Peter," I heard Remus threaten ahead. His wand was still pointed sideways at Peter's chest.
The castle lights were growing slowly larger and I watched Severus drifting weirdly ahead of Sirius, his chin bumping on his chest. I was walking silently next to Sirius who, I could see out of the corner of my eye, kept glancing my way.
He cleared his throat and said hesitantly "Forgive me, Megs."
I looked up at his face and could see that he was being sincere. But that did not excuse his actions, I was still furious with him and needed more than him asking for my forgiveness to process everything.
"Sirius, I-" I started but then – a cloud shifted and we were bathed in moonlight.
Severus collided with Remus, Petter and Ron, who had stopped abruptly.
Sirius and I both froze. I noticed Sirius fling out an arm to make Harry and Hermione stop.
I could see Remus' silhouette. He had gone rigid. Then his limbs began to shake.
"Oh my –" Hermione gasped. "He didn't take his Potion tonight! He's not safe!"
"Run," I heard Sirius whisper to Harry and Hermione. "Run! Now!"
But they didn't run. Harry leapt forwards towards Ron but Sirius caught him around the chest and threw him back.
"Leave it to us – RUN!"
There was a terrible snarling noise. And I saw Remus' head was lengthening and so was his body. His shoulders were hunching. Hair was sprouting visibly on his face and hands, which were curling into clawed paws.
It all happened so quickly. I saw Peter dive for Remus' dropped wand. Ron, unsteady on his bandaged leg, fell.
I saw Peter point the wand at Sirius. The only thing I could think was that I couldn't lose him again, not right now, not like this.
There was so much that was left unsaid.
"No!" I cried and without thinking I shoved Sirius out of the way.
I heard a bang, saw a burst of light, felt pain explode where the curse had hit me in my chest and knew no more as the world went black.