I arrived on the doorstep of No. 12 Grimmauld Place just after the sun had set. I took in a deep breath as I reached out and touched the silver door knocker that was in the form of a twisted serpent. My mind flooded with memories as I entered the familiar hallway and made my way into the basement kitchen.

Arthur was leaning back in his chair, looking relaxed, Tonks was yawning widely, and Ginny was sitting cross-legged on the floor, rolling butterbeer corks for the cat to chase as I walked in.

"Hello, dear - you just missed dinner" Molly said looking around and giving me a warm smile as she spotted me. I returned her smile and shook my head slightly. She always tried to get me to have dinner with them and I was getting annoyed with politely declining.

"Nearly time for bed, I think," Molly continued after a slight frown creased between her eyes as she watched me meet Sirius' eyes. My gaze went back to her as I sat down next to Remus and she yawned. She looked pale and thinner than the last time I had seen her.

"Not just yet, Molly," said Sirius as he looked down from me and made a big deal about pushing away his empty plate. He turned to look at Harry. "You know, I'm surprised at you. I thought the first thing you'd do when you got here would be to ask questions about Voldemort."

The atmosphere in the room changed rapidly and I noticed Remus, who had been about to take a sip of wine but lowered his goblet slowly, looking wary.

"I did!" said Harry indignantly. "I asked Ron and Hermione but they said we're not allowed in the Order, so —"

"And they're right," said Molly. "You're too young."

"Harry's been trapped in that Muggle house for a month. He's got the right to know what's been happening —" I looked at Sirius, his face was defiant, his eyes hard.

"Hang on!" interrupted George and he and his twin proceeded to protest loudly about not having their questions answered.

"It's not my fault you haven't been told what the Order's doing," said Sirius calmly. "That's your parents' decision. Harry, on the other hand —"

"It's not down to you to decide what's good for Harry!" said Molly sharply. Her face looked dangerous. "You haven't forgotten what Dumbledore said, I suppose?"

"Which bit?" Sirius asked politely, but I instantly recognised the tone he used when he was getting ready to argue. A tone I'd heard more than once before.

"The bit about not telling Harry more than he needs to know, " said Molly, placing a heavy emphasis on the last three words.

I frowned, looking between Molly and Sirius - I had clearly missed this discussion they had had with Dumbledore.

"I don't intend to tell him more than he needs to know, Molly," said Sirius. "But he was the one who saw Voldemort come back and has a right to —"

"He's not a member of the Order!" said Molly. "He's only fifteen and —"

"— and he's dealt with as much as most in the Order," said Sirius loudly, "and more than some —"

"No one's denying what he's done!" said Molly, her voice rising, her fists trembling on the arms of her chair. "But he's still —"

"He's not a child!" said Sirius impatiently.

"He's not an adult either!" said Molly, the colour rising in her cheeks.

I found myself agreeing with Molly. Harry didn't need to know what Voldemort was after. That information wasn't what he needed right now, what he needed to know was that he was safe and that people were here to protect him. Sirius was being precipitous, if he really did feel responsible for Harry, he should be thinking about what was best for him to cope with what had happened only months ago, he didn't need anything else to worry about.

"Molly's right" I interjected as Sirius stared at me. His hard eyes looked at me as though he didn't even know who I was and, maybe he didn't anymore but I knew him. I knew what he was thinking, what he was trying to reclaim.

"He's not James, Sirius," I said quietly holding his gaze determined not to look away from him.

"I'm well aware who he is, thanks, Meghana," said Sirius coldly.

"Are you?" I retorted raising my eyebrows "Because you're acting like you're talking to James-"

"What's wrong with that?" said Harry interrupting.

I looked at Harry "Because Harry, you are not your father. You're still in school - " I turned back to Sirius "-and adults responsible for you should not forget that!"

"Meaning I'm an irresponsible godfather?" demanded Sirius, his voice rising.

I frowned at him, my temper rising as I could tell his was "No," I forced my voice to remain calm "Meaning you've been known to act recklessly and take stupid risks -"

"That's enough Meg," said Remus placing his hand on my arm and I snapped my head around to look at him. Remus looked from me towards Molly "I think it better that Harry gets the facts — not all the facts, Molly, but the general picture — from us, rather than a garbled version from . . . others." I felt Remus' hand leave my arm and I took in a deep breath as I sat back forcefully into my chair feeling my temper rising still.

"Well," said Molly, breathing deeply and looking around the table for support that did not come, "well . . . I can see I'm going to be overruled. I'll just say this: Dumbledore must have had his reasons for not wanting Harry to know too much, and speaking as someone who has got Harry's best interests at heart —"

"He's not your son," said Sirius quietly.

"He's not yours either," I said now refusing to look at him as I saw his head snap to me from the corner of my eye a childish satisfaction flowing through me knowing he wanted me to look at him.

"He's as good as my son," Molly said fiercely. "Who else has he got?"

"He's got me!"

"Yes," said Molly, her lip curling. "The thing is, it's been rather difficult for you to look after him while you've been locked up in Azkaban, hasn't it?"

I did turn to look at Sirius this time, I couldn't help it as he started to rise from his chair.

"Molly, you're not the only person at this table who cares about Harry," said Remus sharply. "Sirius, sit down. "

Molly's lower lip was trembling and Sirius sank slowly back into his chair, his face white.

"I think Harry ought to be allowed a say in this," Remus continued. "He's old enough to decide for himself."

"I want to know what's been going on," Harry said at once.

"Very well," said Molly, her voice cracking as she proceeded to fight with Ginny to get her to go to bed.

I stayed quiet as I willed myself to calm down, letting everyone else answer Harry's questions.

"But you're telling people, aren't you?" said Harry, looking around at us all in turn. "You're letting people know he's back?"

"Well, as everyone thinks I'm a mad mass murderer and the Ministry's put a ten-thousand-Galleon price on my head, I can hardly stroll up the street and start handing out leaflets, can I?" said Sirius restlessly.

"And I'm not a very popular dinner guest with most of the community," said Remus. "It's an occupational hazard of being a werewolf."

"Tonks, Meg and Arthur would lose their jobs at the Ministry if they started shooting their mouths off," said Sirius, "and we need to have spies inside the Ministry because you can bet Voldemort will have them."

"But if none of you's putting the news out that Voldemort's back —" Harry began.

"Who said none of us was putting the news out?" said Sirius. "Why d'you think Dumbledore's in such trouble?"

"What d'you mean?" Harry asked.

"They're trying to discredit him," said Remus. "Didn't you see the Daily Prophet last week? They reported that he's been voted out of certain committees Wizengamot and they're talking about taking away his Order of Merlin, First Class, too."

"But Dumbledore says he doesn't care what they do as long as they don't take him off the Chocolate Frog cards," said Bill, grinning.

"It's not a laughing matter," I said shortly casting a pointed look down the end of the table "If he carries on defying the Ministry like this, he'll end up in Azkaban"

"And the last thing we want is Dumbledore locked up. While You-Know-Who knows Dumbledore's out there and wise to what he's up to, he's going to go cautiously for a while. If Dumbledore's out of the way — well, You-Know-Who will have a clear field." finished Arthur inclining his head at me.

"But if Voldemort's trying to recruit more Death Eaters, it's bound to get out that he's come back, isn't it?" asked Harry desperately.

"Voldemort doesn't march up to people's houses and bang on their front doors, Harry," said Sirius. "He tricks, jinxes, and blackmails them. He's good at operating in secrecy. But gathering followers is only one thing he's interested in, he's got plans that he can put into operation very quietly indeed, and that's what he is concentrating on right now."

"What's he after apart from followers?" Harry asked swiftly.

I spotted Sirius and Remus exchange the most fleeting of looks before Sirius said, "Stuff he can only get by stealth."

Harry continued to look puzzled and Sirius said, "Like a weapon. Something he didn't have last time."

"When he was powerful before?"

"Yes."

"Like what kind of weapon?" said Harry. "Something worse than the Avada Kedavra — ?"

"That's enough."

Molly spoke from the shadows beside the door. Her arms were crossed and she looked furious.

"I want you in bed, now. All of you," she added, looking around at Fred, George, Ron, and Hermione.

"You can't boss us —" Fred began.

"Watch me," snarled Molly. She was trembling slightly as she looked at Sirius. "You've given Harry plenty of information. Any more and you might just as well induct him into the Order."

"Why not?" said Harry quickly. "I'll join, I want to join, I want to fight —"

"No."

I turned to look at Remus who had just spoken, he had a look of determination on his face.

"The Order is comprised only of overage wizards," he said. "Wizards who have left school," he added, as Fred and George opened their mouths. "There are dangers involved of which you can have no idea, any of you . . . I think Molly's right, Sirius. We've said enough."

I looked from Remus to Sirius who half-shrugged but did not argue. Molly beckoned imperiously to her sons and Hermione. One by one they stood up and Harry, recognizing defeat, followed suit.

As soon as the hallway door closed Sirius rounded on me "So what was that about?"

I didn't speak straight away or even look at him, noting the coolness in his voice.

"Sirius" Remus said in a tired voice "Just leave it."

"No, it's fine Remus," I said fiercely, my temper rising instantly this time and I finally looked at Sirius "he's obviously got something he needs to get off his chest."

"Harry had a right to know-." Sirius snapped at me.

"Did I, at any point, say that he didn't have a right?" I interrupted.

"-and I'm his godfather, I have a responsibility to look out for him" Sirius continued ignoring me.

"Right, and who has been looking out for him for the last 12 years?" I retaliated "Because it hasn't been you ."

Sirius stood up so fast his chair fell over with a loud bang on the floor that made the other members, who had been talking quietly between themselves, look over at us "Well, maybe if someone had been thinking about me and not her career then maybe I would have been around!"

There it was. I had an inclination that he had some sort of resentment about me working for the Ministry and not helping him when he was in Azkaban. I just knew it was just a matter of time before he would mention it.

Two can play at this game I thought as I also stood up furiously and shouted back at him "Well, maybe if someone had been using their head 16 years ago his parents would also have been around."

"Meg!" Remus had also gotten up out of his chair but I had already shoved passed a now extremely pale Sirius and flounced out of the kitchen, slamming the door behind me, storming down the hallway, wrenching open the front door and slamming that shut as well.

It was only once I was outside and the cold night air hit me, that I allowed the tears that were welling up in my eyes to spill down my cheeks. I hadn't meant what I said and had instantly regretted it. I knew that it would have cut Sirius deeply, but I was furious with him for being so thoughtless.

I impatiently wiped my face and sighed, turning to look at the front door as though I was expecting someone to be standing there. I turned on the spot and apparated back to my place.