2
"No, I am bloody furious with myself" Marion was saying as he paced the corridor "I knew he wanted somewhere quiet as a first adventure and I forgot how busy that place can get. My girl is right, I should have got us a booth. Or a private room."
"Look, all of this is new… to all of us" Jack tried to comfort the man as Ianto sat in a comfortable chair talking dep cleaning breaths while trying to ignore them. They were NOT helping.
"If anyone is to blame, it's me" the restaurant's owner said angrily "I knew you were bringing someone new, I knew you wanted some quiet introducing to this place and I placed you in a table that was…"
"Everyone stop it" Ianto finally rose, shooting his cuffs as he cleared his throat and continued "Shit happens. Isn't that what they say? Come on. I am fine, just overloaded is all. Let's all calm down. I mean… none of us could have predicted this. I have never had one of those… things… before. I am always in control, cool, ice… almost robotic when pressed. Why I managed to keep things together. To fall apart like this over… well… nothing. It is embarrassing and best let go."
"But you did enjoy the food" Jack blurted out.
"Yes… what I tasted… yes. I am…"
"Christ. Look, I will go get everyone one of my special deserts, and you can sit back here in my office and enjoy them, then give me some feedback as someone who has likely never tasted one before!" the owner demanded then took off.
Ianto was mortified and knew he had to get a grip, this was ridiculous.
He took a deep breath "Come on. Let's follow him."
They headed for the main dining area and to their surprise they found everyone standing there waiting, the clapping starting as thy cheered. Seems someone has been telling tales, Ianto looking over to find Rhys standing by the kitchen doors.
"Oi, oi. Was making a delivery and heard a commotion. You OK there mate?" Rhys asked.
"I am embarrassed and bloody pissed at myself for being a girl's blouse, but other than that… I am good buddy" Ianto replied and Rhy's smile widened.
"Well, have you tried the crepes here? Bloody fantastic. Andy thinks I am full of it, he refuses to eat one when I bring them home" Rhy pointed out.
"Well… next time" Ianto said with more confidence than he felt.
Jack was not so sure there would be a next time, Ianto's overload startling them both beyond measure and he wondered if he was pushing too hard for this reunification thing. After all, they had taken the big steps, risked so much. Why risk all over again if there was no real need.
"I think we are good to go" Jack said to Marion who nodded and rose from his chair, slapping his Stetson against his leg.
As they headed back ot the homestead Ianto sat back and considered the strangeness of his reaction. He had NEVER had one of those … mister cool. Why… why now?
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"Could be a number of reasons" Owen replied to the question as he checked Ianto's vitals.
"I have gone into dangerous situations, like… sweat trickling down my spine scary and been calm so why would eating in a restaurant do that" Ianto replied, shaking his head.
"Maybe it had nothing to do with where you were" Toshiko answered from her large chair, her hands smoothing over the big bump that she was now trying to will out of herself "Maybe it has everything to do with the fact that you had made it there."
Ianto turned to her "explain?"
"Well… you always had a goal. A mission, right? What is it now? You got out, you got everyone else safe, you achieve and achieved and achieved now… eating a meal? Whoop-de-doo" she scoffed softly, Ianto feeling his back starting to straighten as she openly laughed at him now "I think Mister Gotta Save the World is just realising that he is no longer essential to the running of said world and… got scared. Like… did it occur to you that no one was looking at you?"
Ianto stared at her silently, his shock not well hidden as Owen made a face and tried to soothe "What she means is… you are hard on yourself. Pushing all the time and when there was no more barrier you sort of … got that falling feeling."
"No" she said, looking one at her belly totally unaware of Ianto's shifting mood "I mean that Ianto has always been important. Busy. Like… the holder of the keys to the prison. No more prison, no one calling him for help.. I think he is scared that no one wants or needs him now."
Ianto was rising from the examination table, his motions stilted as Owen cursed softly and tried to get him to wait "I just want some blood so we can…"
"No. No. Toshiko is right, Mister Adoration Seeker here has things to do. Wow. I never knew you saw me that way, thanks for clearing up your opinion of me" Ianto said as he pulled on his jacket, not even bothering to do up the cuffs of his shirt, showing he was REALLY pissy "I will try not to overhelp ever again since clearly I am an attention hog who only ever did anything for the applause. Wow. Stupid, fame whore me"
Toshiko finally blinked, looking at Owen with confusion as he glared back at her, then said to Ianto "She didn't mean it the way it came out. She is overdue, cranky and has been busting my balls for the last three days about how skinny my butt is. Come on, once bubs is here and her hormones level out she will be horrified that she just insulted you like that."
"Insulted him!" she spluttered "what?"
"Exactly." Ianto replied angrily "It's not being insulting when you are just speaking your truth, right?"
"Well… right" she replied, now confused as hell about what was happening.
Ianto stormed out of there with his blood boiling, so much so that he could literally feel steam coming out of his ears and as the distant slam of the front door rocked the house Owen turned to Toshiko "What the hell was that! You accused him of a Hero Complex? Mister, don't give them my name? Are you mad?"
"I didn't say that."
"You did love. You just told him that he only saved us for the accolades. You accused him of not really caring about us, just about the image" Owen pointed out.
"I did not!" she said more forcibly "It's not my fault if he took it that way."
"Christ woman" Owen groaned knowing that when she was more herself she would be horrified at several things she had done and people she had offended and especially this part right now.
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"Hey" Jack said as Ianto stormed into the house, his smile fading as he watched Ianto throw his jacket at the coat rack like their little one does in anger. "Ianto?"
"Toshiko just told me that my problem is that no one needs me to save them and my need for attention and praise is bruised" Ianto waved a hand around himself like he was wafting away a poetically bad curry fart.
"What?"
"Yeah. Apparently I didn't' save everyone for their own good, no… I was selfish and only did it to better my name or something" Ianto slumped into a chair "You know what? I don't think she is my friend at all. All this time, the laughter we shared …secrets… feasr. God… that night… and for what. Now she's safe, her own child almost here and everything is hunky dory… she doesn't need me so I can push off?"
"What?" Jack wa confused now "She said that?"
"No. No... I am taking things personally. I know. But she maybe hit a nerve when she said that I was useful but now I am feeling adrift" Ianto admitted.
"So, what do you want to do love?"
"Fester."
"What?"
Ianto made a face and slumping in the chair, looking like an old curmudgeon and Jack started to laugh as he saw his husband let go of his anger, admitting that he was being a tad bit sensitive as of late.
And she is the one with hormones all over the place.
He needed something ot do, both kids no off at school or daycare, everyone buzzing with their own projects, time for him to lay down the Hero Complex as she put it and find something to do that actually pleased him.
Him.
No one else.
But what the hell would that look like?
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Thanks for your patience, I know I haven't posted for a few days. Had to take mum to the big smoke for cancer stuff and then the earthquake sort of had me checking our emergency kit etc. Aa s 5.1 is nothing to ignore, even if the two aftershocks were large too. We are overdue for a major one so… be prepared right?