Elle woke up feeling like she'd been hit by a bus.

"Not a bus," a familiar voice told her, "an alternate timeline. Remarkably similar effects on human physionomy, for being so radically different."

"Q," Elle rasped, struggling to sit up.

He leaned forward and propped her up on the pillows. "Hello, my enterprising young friend. Welcome to the multiverse."

"Whuh?" was her eloquent reply.

"You've become quite cosmopolitan in your thinking, as the saying goes," Q said, eyeing her with approval. "You've let go of your little box blinding you to the true nature of the universe. Well, not all of it of course, you've a ways to go yet, you're only human after all, but some of it. Enough of it, to be able to perceive the timeline where the Enterprise-C never made it to Narendra III, and your own role in it."

"That's what this is?" Elle asked, rubbing at her forehead. "Two sets of memories?"

He patted her on the head patronizingly. "It'll resolve itself, don't worry, you'll stop being so confused, but I congratulate you my dear. To break through those barriers is a feat, especially for a human with a linear mind."

She stared at him tiredly. "But it never happened."

"Ah, but it did happen, or you wouldn't have remembered it."

"How come Guinan also remembers it?"

He shuddered. "You know the answer to that."

"The Nexus. But I've never encountered the Nexus, how come I can remember it?"

"You have eaten from the tree of knowledge of good and bad," Q said grandly, sweeping his arms out. "You have had your eyes opened to something that cannot be unseen, or un-known."

"I don't particularly like this metaphor," Elle said uneasily.

He smirked at her. "All right. To put it another way. You have taken the genie out of the bottle. You have opened Pandora's box. You have become aware of time and space in a way that Jean-Luc only dares to dream of."

"He figures the paradox out in the end," Elle protested.

"Ah, but he hasn't yet," Q said, holding up a finger. He booped her on the nose. "You, my dear Elle, have always known. You've accepted paradoxes and time loops and all the quirks in spacetime with nothing but pure belief- and look how you've been repaid."

"In migraines," Elle said flatly.

"In understanding," Q corrected. "In perspicacity."

"Cool," Elle said, "can you turn it off?"

Q smirked at her. "You think I did this to you? No, young grasshopper, you did this to yourself. Your spider friend, K't'lk, understands it very well. Captain Kirk, from his little cocoon in the Nexus, can feel it also. Wesley Crusher has an inkling, but his head's too full of machinery and hero worship to see it yet. Jean-Luc will understand it one day, so will my dear Kathy, a few others. But you don't have their hangups. Like Peter Pan, you've always believed, and you always will."

"Isn't a lot of this beyond human understanding?" Elle asked curiously. "Is my head going to explode like in Indiana Jones?"

Q snorted. "No. And don't expect every anomaly to be as clear-cut as this one. This one, you've got eight months of memories layered on top. Minutes or hours, or trips into anentropic universes where you're smelted down to your souls, will barely even register. You'll get, as you've mentioned, the heebie-jeebies. Or maybe you won't even notice them at all. Who's to say? You are, after all, only human." He stood up. "Well, I must run. I've got things to do, entire planets to tick off, deities to undermine. Toodles!" And he was gone.

Elle realized, belatedly, that her bed was sitting in the middle of a field of wildflowers and the sky above was the same blue as the warp core. "Q?" she called uncertainly. "Is this a dream?"

-/\-

Elle woke up with a gasp, flailing.

"Whoa! Whoa, it's okay, you're okay." Dr. Crusher gripped Elle's hands in her own. "You're okay. You're safe."

"I'm awake for reals," Elle said in relief, and sat up.

"Yes, you are awake. You've been asleep for a good six hours. Do you know where you are?"

Elle glanced around. "Enterprise-D. Sickbay. Private ward."

"Good. And do you remember what happened?"

Elle blinked. "There was, a war? No. The Ent-C went back in time. There was never a war." She forced her sluggish thoughts to the present. "We. Saw the anomaly. Me and Guinan."

"Good," Dr. Crusher said, squeezing Elle's hands in encouragement. "Where do you live?"

"Here," Elle said slowly. "On the Enterprise. With other civilians, not just Guinan."

"That's right. How's your head?"

"Still hurts."

"Hm. Well, it may hurt for a little while longer. You seem to have two sets of memories jostling for space in your brain encompassing the last eight months."

"I know," Elle murmured. "Q told me."

"Q?"

"He was," Elle gestured vaguely. "We were in my dream. I think."

"I see."

"He said I'd be fine," Elle reassured her.

"Good to know," Dr. Crusher said. "Until then I'd like you to wear this cortical monitor, just in case your brain starts finding it a little too complicated, all right?"

"Okay."

Dr. Crusher gave her another hypo of painkillers. "Do you want to try some food?"

"Yeah. Me'n'Bones didn't eat very much dinner, we were too nervous." Elle winced, and firmly put that memory in the 'ALTERNATE TIMELINE' box. "I mean, Wesley and I just had lemonades but no lunch."

Dr. Crusher eyed her warily. "On second thought maybe you'd better stay here."

Elle sighed. "Can I go to my quarters instead?"

"Fine. But only to rest."

Elle made her way to her quarters, changed into pajamas, and threw herself on the bed with Simba in her arms. "Lights, five percent," she muttered.

Someone knocked at her door.

"Come in," Elle called, sitting up.

Data entered the room. "I have been instructed to watch over you until your memories resolve themselves," he said.

Elle waved a hand. "You don't have to."

"On the contrary. I have been given orders."

"Okay, well, I'm just gonna sleep so you can hang out, or whatever." Elle resettled into her nest of pillows and closed her eyes.

Data, by the sound of shuffling, settled himself on the sofa outside her bedroom and started doing paperwork.

She didn't know when she fell asleep, but she did, and her dreams consisted of disjointed memories. Making waffles with Bones, picking peaches, doing flight sims with Wesley, attending a war strategy meeting, convincing Bones to eat sushi, attending mok'bara classes, reading casualty reports, sending vid comms to Peter Kirk...

Elle opened her eyes, feeling marginally better. Simba snuffled quietly on her chest. She sat up, and her stomach grumbled. She went into the living area, and stared.

Captain Picard and Counselor Troi were at her desk, Commander Riker was on the sofa, and Data was on the chair.

"We... havin' a meeting?" Elle asked uncertainly, pushing the hair out of her face.

Captain Picard's gaze softened. "We are going over the events of the Enterprise-C's encounter at Narendra III to try and find some answers. We weren't allowed to wake you up. How's your head?"

"Better," Elle said, moving to the replicator. She ordered a bowl of soup and sat down next to Riker on the sofa. "What've you found?"

"The Enterprise-C did reach Narendra III, fighting off a Romulan attack against the Klingon outpost, and then was lost with all hands. A tragedy, but one that has kept Federation-Klingon relations stable ever since."

"Not lost," Elle corrected. "Taken. By the Romulans." Was it right to tell them about Sela? She frowned, head clearing somewhat. "Which raises an interesting question, if you did outfit the C with present-day weapons to be able to take on that many Romulan warships, did... no, they wouldn't have. They only took the survivors."

"We did what?" Picard asked curiously.

"The C. It was in bad shape. You, other you, gave them modern day weapons. Better torpedoes, better phasers, better temporary shields, just enough to boost them through the battle."

"Incredibly risky, to tamper with the timeline in that way," Picard said, his voice carefully blank of any inflection.

Elle shrugged. "We're six months from losing the war. We're desperate enough to risk it." She frowned. "Were. Were six months from losing." She sighed. "Bad enough I had to die twice, now I have all this, all this extra stuff in my head." She met Riker's concerned gaze. "I can tell you the layout of HQ. Where all the offices are. Where Admiral Janeway's office is. I met his daughter. You two are friends. I even got an office. Great holo-display. I had access to all the reports. I even sent people to look for weapons. Technology. Even sent a scoutship to holler at the Organians." She stifled a grin. "Dead end, of course, but," her grin faltered. "They died in a skirmish with the Klingons anyway."

Riker sighed and pulled her into a hug. "You need so much therapy."

Elle stifled a sigh. "I know. But I'll be okay. It's all going back in place. I can separate it out, kind of. And Q said that other stuff wouldn't affect me like this. I hope he was telling the truth or I'm gonna kick his metaphysical butt. I don't know how, but I'm gonna do it."

"Q said?" Picard asked, alarmed.

"I think it was Q," Elle said, slurping her soup. "Or it could have been my subconscious telling me what I needed to know." She paused, thought about it. "It was probably Q. I'm not that patronizing, even in a dream."

Picard frowned at her. "I worry about you."

She smiled at him. "I can call Ael, ask her about the survivors of the Enterprise-C."

"You are not getting on any calls until you are firmly anchored in the present timeline," Picard said sternly.

"Yes, dad," Elle replied demurely, and watched Riker die of suppressed laughter at the look on his captain's face.

In the end there was no need to contact the Romulans at all. The admiralty, when they received the Enterprise's report of a temporal rift and the subsequent erased timeline, sent back a single classified report - captain's eyes only.

Picard let Elle read it anyways. In 2344, fifteen Star Fleet officers were extradited to the Federation from the Romulan Star Empire. Lt. Castillo, Lt. Manse... the list went on... Lt. Tasha Yar. The survivors of the battle at Narendra III retired from Star Fleet and went to live on a colony planet near the Beta Quadrant.

"Well that's different," Elle said, letting Captain Picard regain his composure at seeing his fallen crewmember's name on the list. "Does that mean there's no Sela?"

"Who?"

"Never mind." Elle rested her chin in her hands and watched Picard run his hands over his face. "Are you all right, captain?"

He let out a breath. "I, don't know. This is a very strange situation."

"She's still alive," Elle pointed out. "Are you going to, make contact?"

"Even if I did," Picard said slowly, "I am not her captain. And she is not our Tasha Yar."

"Still," Elle said. "It would be nice for them if at least one person recognized their sacrifice."

Picard nodded slowly. "I will think about it."

"Yes, sir."

And if the 'captain's eyes only' part of the message was deleted, leading to a general release of the report to the Enterprise senior officers, well, who could blame a glitch in the computer?

-/\-

Elle stayed out of it. She had enough problems trying to cram memories into their proper boxes. At the end of the day she resorted to calling Spock.

"How did you reconcile going back in time and dealing with your younger self and things?" she asked, as soon as the call connected. "How did you order your thoughts?"

Spock raised his eyebrows at her. "Have you time-traveled recently, Elle-kam?" he asked.

"More like alternate-timelined," she said, "but regular meditation isn't cutting it."

Spock frowned. "Tell me everything."

By the time Elle finished her recitation of events, she was tired again and Spock's eyebrows had permanently convened on the ceiling of his ambassadorial apartment. "I see," was all he said.

"I don't," she grumbled.

He frowned. "I would show you now, but there are some things that cannot be taught without a learner's bond, a shallow mind-touch."

"Oh." Elle bit her lip. "Maybe one of the Vulcans here on the Enterprise?"

"Very few people are taught to integrate katra's," he said. "I doubt it." He gave her a gentle smile. "You will just have to come to Vulcan."

Elle smiled. "Really?"

He inclined his head. "I will speak to Captain Picard and arrange your transportation."

"Cool."

They signed off, and Elle started packing. "Should I bring you?" she asked Simba. "I don't trust Wesley not to let you eat extra. Maybe Mina will tribble-sit."

The door chimed.

"Come in!"

Picard stepped in, looking bemused. "Your presence has been requested on Vulcan," he said dryly, looking over her packing chaos. "Although I get the feeling this is not a surprise. We'll drop you on Archer IV. Ambassador Spock has arranged for a Vulcan courier ship to take you the rest of the way."

Elle grinned. "Thank you, captain."

"Of course." He picked up Simba the Third. "I hope that the ambassador can help you."

"Me too," Elle said. "I don't like thinking of this ship as crammed with troops."

Picard nodded. "Enjoy your vacation."

"I will."

Elle left Simba the Third with Mina under the supervision of the twins. "If this tribble has a litter, you guys are responsible for giving them to good homes," she threatened. "I'm not dealing with it."

Mina gave a faux-salute. "No babies! I promise!"

-/\-

Vulcan was, hot. The family retainer (butler!) picked her up at the station, and Elle did't see Spock until she had already entered the house.

"Spock!"

Heedless of watching eyes, Spock gave her a hug, and let her hug him until she could let go. "I have missed you," he said fondly.

"I've missed you too."

"Let us have dinner, and then when it's cooler, we can begin."

"Cool." She fidgeted. "Do I still have a room, or..."

"It is as you left it," he promised.

"Cool." Her room was, in fact, the same. Eighty years, and she still had a room? You're not gonna cry, it's too early to cry. Elle put her things away, took a quick shower, and met Spock for dinner. They spoke about trivialities: Elle's sleepover movie marathon, Spock's latest encounter with a hot-air politician, Elle's adventures helping five-year-olds learn to swim.

They finished eating and Spock led her to a shaded patio. "This was my mother's favorite place to sit in the evenings," he said, directing Elle to kneel on a comfortable cushion. He sat down across from her. "Tell me everything."

So she did. Spock kept her grounded in this time and place as she wandered between memories of the last eight months, but the furrow in his eyebrow betrayed his soothing demeanor. He was upset. "Q should not have allowed you to keep this experience," he said finally.

"And that's the thing," Elle said, slumping her shoulders with a tired sigh. "He didn't even do anything. Apparently, humans can just do it once we get over a psychological block or something."

Spock did not look impressed. "Then we must find a way for you to organize both sets of memories," he said. "Are you ready?"

She closed her eyes as he reached up to touch her temples.

"Calm," he murmured, and they paused for a long moment to breathe in sync.

She felt the tap on her mental shields and opened the door in her mind. Her eyes welled with tears at Spock's familiar presence. Hi.

He let the wave of emotion wash over their connection with Vulcan calm and a general feeling of fondness. "You have not ordered your mind in quite some time."

"I've been busy," Elle replied, and added mentally, There's a war on, you know.

He raised a mental eyebrow, which had the same effect as the usual eyebrow of not-quite-disappointment-but-you-should-know-better. We shall start there, he decided.

Time passed as the two of them worked through her mental desktop, decluttering bits of information and strengthening her mental shields and focusing techniques. When her mindscape was tidy, they moved on to view Elle's double sets of memories.

This technique is taught to those who are most likely to carry a ka'tra or perform mind-melds, Spock said, offering her the impresion of young-Spock learning from T'Pau.

You were adorable, Elle said, distracted by his floofy bowl cut.

Focus.

Sorry.

Spock walked her through the process of envisioning her memories as a physical location, like a mind-palace. We put the concurrent memories on the second story, he explained. Same location, different height. Your mind will be able to keep the memories separate.

That makes so much sense.

I'm glad you think so.

Time passed in a haze as Spock helped her sort through the most confusing memories.

T'Khut, Vulcan's sister planet, was high in the night sky when they finally withdrew from the mind-link.

Elle slept for a solid sixteen hours, and then woke up and did it all over again, Spock's steady presence a stabilizing influence.

"If I hadn't come, what would you be doing?" Elle asked, as they ate lunch together.

"I would be on Vega VI, mediating a cultural dispute," Spock replied.

"Oh. Sorry."

"There is no need to apologize. I would much rather be here. I have not been home in a long time."

Elle gave him a quick grin. "I missed you too. Where's your dad?"

"He and Perrin are on Earth," Spock said. "He was, disappointed, they would be absent during your visit."

"I'll see him later," Elle said.

Spock raised an eyebrow. "Is that, what is the term, a spoiler?"

Elle stuffed a giant forkful of salad in her mouth and shrugged expressively.

Spock rolled his eyes. "How do your memories feel?"

"Streamlined," Elle replied, with appropriate jazz hands.

"Excellent."