A/N: I'm not dead! Have a chapter :)

Elle woke up groggy and emotionally hungover. "Why?" she asked, squinting at the blurry ceiling.

"Why what?" Alexa asked.

"Why am I awake?" Elle flopped over and got tangled up in her bedsheets. "Ugh."

"Because you promised you were going to meet the Picards for breakfast," Alexa replied.

Elle sighed. "Oh yeah." She flopped back over. "Everything's okay on the ship, though, right? The captain and Beverly got married yesterday?"

"Affirmative," Alexa replied. "You're getting paranoid in your old age, Elle."

"is it paranoia if I'm right?" She got out of bed and shuffled over to the bathroom. "Do I have time to take a water shower?"

"Not if you're going to avoid Mr. Picard's scowl of displeasure."

Elle turned the water shower on. "I've survived Captain Picard's Neutral look of Displeasure. That's worse."

The Picards were hanging out with Guinan in Ten-Forward by the time Elle got down there. Robert didn't even look disgruntled. "Morning!" Renee said, waving Elle down.

She slid onto a barstool next to him. "Good morning!"

Guinan slid her a bagel sandwich and a cup of tea.

"So what do we have planned for today?" Marie asked.

"I was thinking we could tour the arboretum and the botany labs," Elle said. "I'm sure you could give us some pointers. And I don't know if you've seen the holodecks?"

"I went with Wesley to the one on the starbase, we saw a supernova close up!"

Elle gave him a high-five.

Marie was intensely interested in the botany and hydroponics labs. "And how do you do that?" she asked, in an endless loop.

Robert was Not Impressed. "Give me some good old dirt any day," was all he had to say on the matter. "It's unnatural."

Mother and son had identical eye-rolls of affection.

-/\-

"So, Cadet Crusher," Lt. Williams drawled. "How's the Academy treatin' ya?"

"Fine?" Wesley said, eyeing him suspiciously. "Great, even."

"Oh really," Lt. Williams said. "So a little birdie was incorrect when they said you had a big ole domestic right in the quad?"

Wesley turned an interesting shade of scarlet.

Elle paused her 3D puzzle game. "Who had a domestic?" she asked. "Did you get a girlfriend and not tell us?"

"No," Wesley protested. "It wasn't a domestic! We were partners on a project!"

"They were partners," Elle said dramatically. "Not roommates?"

"No," Wesley said. "And it was a completely inaccurate rendering of what we were asked to do!"

"Was she cute, though?" Lt. Williams asked.

Wesley hesitated for point six seconds. "No," he said quickly.

Elle gasped. "She was. Who? Who, who, who?"

Wesley shoved at her ineffectually. "Is there an owl in here?" he asked, glancing at the ceiling. "Hm. Maybe I should go look for it."

Elle slung her keyboard at his shins. "Weesssss, come oooonnnn."

He sighed. "Okay, fine. It was one coffee date. And one project. Which went horribly."

"Nice," Elle said and wiped her eyes. "My little bro, all grown up and having domestics in the quad."

"Shut up," Wesley said, even though he was grinning.

-/\-

"Elle to the bridge. Repeat, Elle to the bridge."

Elle put down her croissant dough. "Sorry, Marie."

"Go, do your thing," Marie said, shooing her off. "The croissants will be here."

"Thanks!" Elle wiped her hands on her apron and flung her apron at Renee. It whacked him in the head and flour wafted into the air. "Oops, bye!" She headed for the bridge. "What's up, sir?" she asked, throwing herself into the empty chair beside Riker.

"The-" He paused. "You have flour all over your hair."

Elle cleared her throat. "We were making croissants."

"Ooh," Riker said. "Anyway. Distress call. Colony planet Eta Minor, the next quadrant over. They sent an alert, but their comm systems went down halfway through. Some sort of natural disaster."

Elle blinked. "Well, it's not an episode. Sorry. Are we going to go investigate?"

"We're already on our way."

"ETA 6 hours," Data added from Ops.

"Mission consultant, if you could prepare a briefing packet on Eta Minor," Riker said formally.

"But the croissants," Elle said.

Riker smirked. "The captain's on shore leave. Not us."

Elle sighed. "Yes, sir." She went back to the kitchen. Nobody said you had to do your briefing packet in a conference room. "Hey, Renee, want to help me?"

"Yes!"

-/\-

"In the second geological survey, it was calculated there was a five percent chance of tectonic plate shifting within the next 400 years, resulting in earthquakes, sinkholes, and flooding," Elle reported. "I wouldn't be surprised if they managed to beat the odds in the worst way."

"We'll have to relocate them," Riker said. "Is there a secondary location on the planet itself that is stable enough?"

Elle pulled up a different graphic. "Yes, sir. Two different spots were surveyed, and either would be good."

"Why did they choose this spot in the first place?" Geordi asked.

Elle consulted her notes. "Optimal soil content for their primary export," she said.

"Which is?"

"Wine, actually."

"Captain Picard will be sorry he missed this," Deanna said, carefully hiding a smile.

"Mister Picard will not," Data said, hiding his own smile.

-/\-

Eta Minor was lovely when not shifting tectonic plates and destroying civilizations. Well, it was lovely from space, anyway. The mudflows and earthquakes were not pretty, and the level of destruction was fascinating in a terrible way.

"Elle, I don't want you going down with the secondary relief crew," Riker said.

"Not the landing party?" Elle asked, giving him puppy eyes.

"No," Riker said, ruffling her hair. "I don't want you scarred for life. Let the grownups go first."

Elle sighed. "I bow to your logic."

Troi hid a smile. "Been reading Vulcan epics again?"

"Spock has me reading Surak's revived teachings," Elle replied, watching Worf and Data leave the bridge. "Someone unearthed a transcript of one of his pilgrimages to Mt. Seleya about sixty years ago and they're finally letting people read it."

"Of course, you've already read all the other stuff," Riker said.

"Of course," Elle said. "It wouldn't be logical to start in the middle."

Wesley spun around from the Ops console. "Hey, if I took Intro to Vulcan Philosophy, would you-"

"No," Elle said instantly. "I gave you all that good stuff on Demosthenes and Plato, and you didn't even use it."

Wesley groaned. "I can't use internet posts that don't exist as sources, Eleanor."

"It's an academic paper, Westopher," Elle replied, making a face at him. "you extrapolate."

"You extrapolate," he shot back.

"Besides," Elle said, ignoring him. "If you can understand entropy, you can understand Vulcan philosophy."

"That doesn't even make any sense!"

"Then you weren't paying attention in astrophysics either," Elle retorted.

The ping from the transporter interrupted them. "Away team ready to beam down," Data said.

"Go ahead," Riker said.

-/\-

Elle didn't beam down till after casualties had been counted and the bodies beamed out of the rubble. She and Wesley beamed down with the third crew, Retrieval and Documentation. Armed with tricorders and pallets, the team spread out through the main square.

Elle looked around at the devastation and took a deep breath. It was all fun and games until you had to really look at it. It's not a game, it's not an episode. This is real life. She squared her shoulders and lifted her tricorder. "First house, that way," she said, pointing.

Rescuing people's belongings and helping them organize their lists of necessities was strangely soothing. Elle got Renee to help her program the replicator to mass-produce clothing. "I can't believe I'm participating in fast fashion," Elle realized, folding another stack of sweaters.

"Eleanor Wilcott," Alexa scolded. "Do not take yourself out of context."

"Yes, grandchild," Elle sighed, grinning at the camera input.

Renee blinked at her. "Who was that?"

Elle grinned. "I've never told you about my computer children?" she asked.

"No! What?"

That story and the subsequent interrogation of Alexa as to how she liked existence took up the rest of their allotted child-labor hours. Riker shooed them away. "Go do something relaxing."

"Wanna go bowling?"

-/\-

They spent the full two weeks at Eta Minor. Everyone on the ship who wasn't essential personnel went down to the planet to help rebuild the colony to a self-sufficient level. Even the Picards offered to pitch in. Robert hit it off with the vineyard owners who were faced with transferring all their vines to the new soil, and every day, he was down there, up to his elbows in soil samples and fertilizer mixes. Marie was helping with the rest of the agricultural transfer. Renee and Elle stuck to helping people rebuild their possessions and their kitchens.

"Down the street, they still need a power line," Elle said, consulting her clipboard. "Renee, do you know how to hook up main power lines?"

"No," he said.

"Cool, I'll teach you."

"No," said one of the engineers as he passed by. "He's too young for electrical work."

"Fine," Elle said. "You watch me do it."

"Okay!"

Elle also taught him how to set up and test the fire-suppression systems in the house. "These are standard for every dwelling in the Federation," she said. "Your house has one like this, too. Test it every year." Just in case. Okay, so Elle may be slightly paranoid. Sue her.

Renee nodded faithfully. "Test it every year. What kind are there on the Enterprise?"

"Like four different ones," Elle said. "We're in a pressurized tin can. Everything can blow up."

"Cool."

"Yup. Do you want to see the robot we're making in class right now?"

"You are corrupting him," Robert said, scowling, as he approached them. He wiped a smudge of dirt off his face.

"Yes, sir," Elle said, trying not to grin. "Did you want to see the robot?"

Surprisingly, he said yes.

-/\-

By the time the colony was set up, the entire ship was covered in mud. Commander Stabby was having conniption fits over the state of the floors, and Laundry Services were working overtime.

"If you have replicators, why don't you just make new clothing?" Robert asked.

Elle sniffed disdainfully. "Just because we're in space, we don't lose all sense of identity," Elle replied. "Our clothes hold memories. And they get nice and soft. That fresh laundry smell doesn't come with replicated clothes." She lifted her sleeves. "Or the ink stains."

"Ink?"

"I took a Vulcan calligraphy course."

-/\-

"It's a shame bout all those leftover grapevines," Robert said at dinner with the senior officers. "About 18 acres couldn't fit in the landscaping in the new site."

"They couldn't transplant to the tertiary site?" Riker asked.

"It's optimized for potatoes," Robert sighed. "Good grapes, too. Heirloom Bordeaux descendants."

Riker and Data exchanged a glance, and Data began to grin. "What would you do with them?" Data asked.

"There's that eastern lot you have," Elle piped up innocently. "The one that's being enriched."

Riker stroked his beard, trying to hide his smile. "Well, we did just empty half of Cargo Bay 4..."

Elle grinned.

-/\-

The face Robert made when he realized all his pilfered grapevines would be kept alive by hydroponics and stasis chambers was the funniest thing Elle had seen in days.

"Not so unnatural, are they?" Marie asked lightly.

"Hmph."

Elle snuck a handful of grapes.

"Hey!"

She shrieked and grabbed Renee's hand, and they ran for it, laughing hysterically.

-/\-

"It looks like Animal Crossing from space," Elle said, twisting back and forth on her bridge chair. "The perfect little squares of farm."

"The Costello will be out to check on them in another six months," Riker said. "Helm, set course for Starbase 61."

"Time to pick up mom and dad," Elle said. Behind her, Worf snorted. She turned to grin at him. "You think he'll notice the grapes?"

Riker's eyes twinkled. "What grapes?"

Elle laughed. "Yes, sir."

-/\-

The Enterprise slid into its docking station and immediately released a slew of crew onto the station for shore leave. The Enterprise also acquired a captain and CMO. They both looked tan and well-rested.

"Welcome home!" Elle said, hugging the captain tightly.

"Good to be back," Picard said, smiling at her.

"Did you guys get here early and go out?" Dr. Crusher asked, inspecting Wesley's face. "You all look so tan!"

"I think we all got some outdoor time," Elle said, sharing a glance with Riker.

"Anything exciting happen while we were gone?" Picard asked slowly, catching the Look.

"Oh, you know," Elle said. "Relocated a colony, got your brother to plant a space vineyard. No biggie."

"What?"

-/\-

It took the captain two days of catching up on paperwork to discover the grapes. He came out of his Ready Room, PADD held aloft. "Number One," he started, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Elle started giggling.

Picard pointed at her silently but focused on Riker. "Why are there 18 tons of grapes in Cargo Bay 4?"

"Happy 2-week anniversary?" Riker said, hiding a smile.

"What?"

"They're from the colony," Riker said, snickering. "Mister Picard requested to take them home."

"Ah," Picard said, his confusion clearing. "The eastern lot."

"Yes, sir."

Picard shook his head. "Warn a man, next time. Good grief."

Everyone busted up laughing.

-/\-

The Enterprise returned to Earth just long enough to drop off its guests and resupply. Elle got the dubious privilege of helping with inventory.

"I don't want to see a single spare grape in this cargo bay after tomorrow," Lt. Dernier told her. "Get rid of 'em."

"Yes, sir."

Elle ate a lot of grapes off the floor that day.

-/\-

"Dr. Crusher to Elle."

"Elle here."

"Your presence has been requested at HQ for a follow-up appointment regarding the nanite colony."

Elle blinked. "They what?"

"It's part of the diplomatic charter. But it falls under medical."

"Is everybody getting one?"

"Yes. You and I can go together."

"Oh, okay. Like, right now, right now? Because I'm in a Jefferies tube, and it's going to take me thirty minutes to crawl out."

Dr. Crusher was hiding a smile. "No, tomorrow."

It would be nice to see Earth again. Maybe she could stop by and visit Admiral Paris - no, he doesn't know her in this timeline. She could go see Bones, though, and S'task, who might be on Earth.

The following day, Elle and Dr. Crusher beamed down to HQ, next to the central Med building. Most of it was a clinic for HQ. It was a calm and soothing place with a little shop featuring local artisans. And by local, Elle meant "the solar system."

"Which floor?" the elevator attendant asked.

"16," Dr. Crusher said, "standard exam rooms."

They got out of the elevator and went down to one of the suites marked 'Reserved.' "Who's going to be doing the eval?" Elle asked as Dr. Crusher pinged the door. "I hope it's not someone from Section 31 because I've had-"

"Definitely not Section 31," a familiar voice said.

Elle shrieked. "Bones!" She threw herself at him (gently) and hugged him tightly. "I've missed you."

He cupped his hand over her head, holding her tightly. "I've missed you, darling. How's my favorite patient?"

"Doing great," Elle said, smiling up at him.

"And my favorite CEO?" Bones asked, kissing Beverly on the cheek. "How's married life treatin' ya?"

"Wonderfully."

"Good, I'm glad." He patted the biobed. "All right, kiddo, you first."

Elle hopped up on the bed. "Do we get to talk to the nanites?"

"Sure do." Bones set a modified tricorder next to her. "Their speaker system," he explained. He scanned over Elle. "Well, you look healthy. Your mineral levels are steady... Yeah. You and your colony are in good symbiosis."

"Yay. I'm a good landlord."

"Yes, you are." Bones tapped a button. "Dr. McCoy to nanites, come in."

There was a long, staticky pause, and then - "This is the Stabby Mother colony, receiving. Greetings, Dr. McCoy."

Elle choked on a wheeze. "The what? I knew they were talking. Commander Stabby looked way too chill about having that computer linkup."

The two doctors didn't even bother hiding their laughter. Bones cleared his throat. "This is the check-in appointment. How is it living there?"

"We have no complaints," the nanites replied. "All systems optimal. Enough space. Enough growth elements."

"Good wifi?" Elle asked.

"Yes."

Elle snorted. "Oh yeah. Those are definitely my nanites."

Dr. McCoy shook his head, fond. "All right, then. Do you have the protocol for contact if you need anything?"

"Affirmative."

They reviewed more protocols and renewed their contract: living space for living firewall protection, and moved on to Dr. Crusher.

"What are you thinking for lunch?" Bones asked.

"I'm meeting Wesley," Dr. Crusher said. "Elle, as long you're back on the ship by tomorrow, 1800, you're cleared for shore leave."

"Nice." Elle grinned at Bones. "I'm free for lunch."

He held out a hand. "C'mon then. Time's a'wastin'."

They went out for lunch on the Bay, a tiny place that served the best fish tacos north of the old America-Mexico border. They chatted about grandkids and grapes, and Elle told Bones in detail about Q's appearance on the Enterprise during the wedding.

"A time agent?" Bones asked. He pulled her into a hug. "Honey, you need to start being more subtle. My ole heart can't take this."

"Sorry not sorry," Elle said, comfortably squashed into his thin frame.

He kissed the top of her head. "I can tell," he said dryly. "Be careful, y'hear? Q isn't the only omnipotent being out there, and they're not all so... lenient."

Elle sat back. "I know. But Q's claimed his territory, so we're safeish."

"You won't always be on the Enterprise, kiddo."

Elle squinted at him. "What?"

"You don't think you could get a degree, maybe some planetary experience, and then go back out?" Bones asked. "I hear the Vulcan diplomatic school is very accepting of nepotism."

"Bones," Elle said as he laughed at her. "I don't want to go to Vulcan college, that's terrifying. I'd rather get a degree in space archaeology or something."

"Space archaeology?" he asked. "Like Captain Picard?"

"Yeah. Something obscure I can use for plot points. Or maybe engineering, for MacGyvering."

He shook his head fondly. "You're not a fictional character, Elle. You can do what you want because you like it."

"Says Main Character #3," Elle replied, wrinkling her nose at him. She leaned back in her chair and sipped at her lemonade. "And I happen to enjoy archaeology and engineering and diplomacy very much." She stole a piece of avocado from his plate. "Maybe I should do a degree in ceramics."

"Whatever you want," Bones said, smiling at her. "As long as you're happy."

She shook her head at him. "Should I become a doctor?"

"No," Bones said. "You would break the rules of spacetime if one of your patients ever died on you, and I don't see that going well."

"True," Elle said.

She slept over with the McCoy family in Georgia and spent the day with Bones and his grandkids (her great-nieces?). By 1800, she was back on the Enterprise, and they were shipping out, resupplied and ready for the next adventure.