Chapter 13

The rest of the night I didn't sleep a wink. Every time I close my eyes or blink, all I see is Ivan's fist and a pair of black eyes. I don't know for how long I´ve been sitting on the floor where Ivan left me. Only one question keeps repeating in my head; How?

How could it have come to this? How could it all escalate like this? How could I lose Ivan without any warning?

I was aware from the beginning that it was a dangerous game to get involved with him, but I never expected anything like this. Our conversations, the kisses, this connection we had ... all gone. Ivan threw it all away, it probably didn't even mean anything to him. Perhaps he just wanted to pass the time or maybe try to take advantage of me to get to Apollo and Rocky. Well, whatever it was, he got it and I'm sitting in the shambles that is now my life.

My thoughts next wander to Apollo lying in his own pool of blood. I haven't been this scared in a long time, since Mickey died. The hours in the hospital were the worst. Fearing for Apollo's life and not knowing if he would make it and Mary Ann. Oh God Mary Ann! The poor woman will have to fight with a lot of things now and not only with the fact that her husband is paraplegic from now on.

She had so much hate in her eyes when she confronted me about Ivan and rightly so. The slap was justified and she shouldn't have left it at just one. Mary Ann has every right to hate me. Oh God Rocky! Now it hits me, how Rocky going to react. A slight panic rises up in me. I wonder if she told Rocky and Adrian. How am I ever going to face them all again?

My thoughts are abruptly interrupted by a knock. My head jerks up from my knees. "Ivan?" I whisper softly. A small part in me hoped he came back. No, he wouldn't come here again, would he? He wouldn't have any reason to. A second knock.

My body remains rooted to the ground pecking. My eyes wide open focused on the door. "Yo, Lexi? You in there?"

I feel my body relax immediately when I hear Rocky's voice. I rise very slowly and make my way to the door. My hand reaches for the door handle, but I pause a moment before turning it to open the door for Rocky.

"You all right?" asks Rocky immediately when he sees my tear-stained face. My eyes are red and have a slight swelling from crying. I just nod powerlessly, because words won't escape me.

"You all right?" asks Rocky immediately when he sees my tear-stained face. My eyes are red and have a slight swelling from crying. I just nod powerlessly, words won't escape my mouth, as I silently throw the rest of my clothes in the suitcase.

"Apollo?, that's all I can manage.
"He's fine, considering the circumstances. However, he'll be in the hospital for a while until they can release him. Mary Ann is staying with him," Adrian enlightens me as we walk down the hall to the lobby.

My eyes scan the entire hallway for Ivan in vain, but no success. Maybe he is already gone. I lower my head as we reach the cab. I hand my suitcase to the driver and turn around one last time. One last glance at my surrounding before I get into the back of the car.

Ivan P.O.V

Ivan's ankles were bruiesed and about to bleed. He could no longer contain his rage and he was not one of those who easily blow up. He only ever saw her angelic face, streaming with tears and filled with panic and fear. He still can't believe what he actually did there. Almost killing Apollo was one thing, the American was too driven by his ego to realize what the reality was. He was much too old and from what Ivan saw in the ring, the training hadn't been very intense either. No, Apollo was a fight and he's not sorry for what happened... but everything that happened afterwards.

Before Ivan realized it his fist clenched and before he knew he landed a punch against a wall.

A flashback from a few hours ago hit him. Alexa. Ivan forced himself to stay calm. He had to get himself under control. The whole "party" in the hotel room... Ludmilla. How could he let her provoke him like that. How could he let himself get so drunk. After all, there was a good reason why he didn't drink. But worst of all was what he did to her. It was seconds, but those seconds decided everything.

Alexa had slapped him in the face. He didn't even really notice it, not to mention the pain; Ivan didn't know pain, but he knew how to cause pain to others. In his drunken state, he lost control. Before he even realized what he was doing, or rather, to whom he was doing it, he had already grabbed her by the neck and pushed her against the wall. He never intended to hit her and he would not. No matter how brutal he was in the ring, he would never get physical with a woman ... but that's exactly what happened. Ivan can still clearly see how fear-filled her big blue eyes are. At that moment he was sober again, but it didn't matter, because her words stabbed him in his icy heart;

"Ivan please," she pleads desperately. "Just go."

But he can't. Even if she would hate him forever now, he can't let her go and he would never forgive himself for that.

Even though he left, he was still near her room. He couldn't stay away from her. Hours later, he saw Balboa and his wife approaching Alexa's room. He couldn't hear much, but what he could hear was the pain in her sweet voice. Pain he was responsible for. Ivan stayed in the lobby as they left. He stayed in the shadows, knowing that she had been through enough at the moment. But as he watched her get into the car and drive away, he realized that it might be the last time he saw her.