Chapter 15
I slowly turn my head to the side and look up. Not sure if my eyes are playing tricks on me, I blink a few times to be on the safe side.
"Ivan," a whisper escapes my lips.
He leans down towards me. Our eyes say everything we are incapable of saying right now.
"Lexa, I... I know you hate me, but I just had to see you."
Unable to find the words, I just stare at him. That perfectly cut face I thought I'd never see again.
"I'm so sorry, I've been drinking and I couldn't control myself. I'm so, so sorry."
Tears stream down my face. Ivan reaches out to wipe the tear away, but as his hand approaches I subconsciously flinch.
He pauses and I can literally see him breaking inside.
"I don't hate you..." it was nothing more than a soft whisper, but he heard it. His eyes pierce mine.
"You don't?"
I wanted him to. I've tried so hard the last few weeks, but I can't and a small part of me hates myself for it.
"What are you doing here, Ivan?"
"I needed to see you. Lexa, the last few weeks ... believe me I've tried everything, but you're burned into my head."
A giggle escapes my lips and Ivan gives me a confused look, but I turn away from him. "We're certainly not going to talk about it here," I say coolly, caressing the engraving on Mickey's grave with my fingers.
"He was very important to you?" sighing, I try to find a more comfortable position on the floor.
"Yes, he was like the father I never had. I was all alone for a while when Mickey found me and took me in. He taught me everything I know today." He carefully puts his hand on my shoulder when he notices that tears are welling up in my eyes again.
"Exactly three years ago, Mickey had heart problems and was actually planning to retire. A man called Clubber Lang suddenly appeared and challenged Rocky to fight him. Mickey tried to change Rocky's mind, but in the end he was persuaded to train Rocky one last time. We were all in the changing room when Clubber started to provoke Rocky again. One thing led to another. There was writing and shoving and somehow Mickey got in the middle and got knocked out. He got heart problems again, probably a heart attack. I begged Mickey to go to the hospital, but he ignored me and just focused on getting Rocky in the ring... He died in the locker room. In my arms."
As I lift my head, I can clearly see in Ivan's eyes what was going through his mind. He finally understood why I was against the fight with Apollo and why I broke down like that when he was in my arms.
"I'm very sorry about that. I'm sure he was a good man."
A tiny smile curves my lips. "He was the best"
For the next few minutes we just sit next to each other in silence and I hate the fact that I missed him so much, but I'm well aware that things can't go back to the way they were. Not only what he did to Apollo, but also to me.
I rise slowly after kissing Mickey's gravestone goodbye. Ivan immediately follows me as we leave the cemetery. "I don't hate you Ivan, but I don't think we should see any more of each other. You need to focus on boxing and I..."
Well, to be honest, I have no idea what's going to happen to me. Apollo hates the whole world, I can't face Mary Ann anymore and I still don't know if Rocky and Adrian know about me and Ivan.
"Lexa ... I'm sorry," I hear his voice in the distance as I walk away, leaving him behind.