28 ABY SIX YEARS BEFORE A FORCE AWAKENS
The crowd is silent in remembrance as I stand by my mother's side, watching as they unveil a statue of her adoptive father Bail Organa, honouring his memory here on Hosnian Prime since there is no Alderaan left for it to stand on.
She is stoic as always but I feel the ache that's never disappeared and reach for her hand. She stills at the touch but takes it, allowing herself to show the rare public emotion as she holds her daughter's hand here in the sight of the senate.
Her voice is quiet, for only me to hear "Do you see the divide?" I look at the crowd but she just shakes her head. "Not physically, ideologically. Between the Centrists and the Populists. It's just growing deeper by the day. This right here Hope is what those final days before the senate was dissolved felt like, glossy ceremony covering the breakdown of government."
Her words startle me and I try to assure her "People will always be divided, but now there isn't an emperor trying to dissolve democracy."
"Not yet at least," she remarks and I know to some ears she would sound paranoid, but she knows better than any the signs of corruption, of instability.
She's given the signal that it is time for her speech and we move forward into the public eye. I stand behind her clad in white with my braided hair carefully arranged atop my head as per royal Alderaanian tradition as her understudy, her successor, standing here with her as she once stood with Bail Organa when she began serving alongside him in the senate.
Her voice is strong, articulate, but when is it anything other than that?
"I stand before you not only as a senator, but as Bail Organa's daughter." Luke has always said without reservation his father was Anakin Skywalker, a Jedi Knight, but my mother would sooner cut out her tongue than ever say Anakin Skywalker was her father above Bail Organa. It's known well enough by now who her biological parents were, but in her heart her true ones died on Alderaan. "And yet everything I have done in my career has been rooted in the valuable lessons he taught me about courage, about strength, about leadership." She looks at me as she says "Lessons I now teach my own daughter, one of the many children that are the legacy of the Rebellion and the future of our galaxy."
Many would forget my mother has two children, sometimes it feels almost as if Ben is hidden away whilst I've taken on a role that he was never considered for. I've never dared say it but I know there is a reason for it, even if they would never admit it to us, but I'm not as blind to the shadow that hovers over him as they'd like me to be.
A shadow that hovers over us both.
Her next words are dulled out by the feeling of a hundred thousand eyes on us, although most are on her I can feel enough on me to make me nervous. The daughter and successor of the most beloved and controversial senator there is, a rebel hero, a princess of a planet that no longer exists, remembered now by its survivors scattered across the galaxy, survivors who also call me princess out of affection for Leia's little girl.
Mom was fourteen when she began working with her father in the senate, the same age my grandmother was when she became queen, it feels like I've blossomed late by only continuing the tradition of entering politics at 16 and yet I still feel like I'm a child. A child who wants to be with her brother at the temple training, or with her father co-piloting the Falcon with no end in sight. I ache for the skies and yet I'm weeks from finishing university on Naboo and officially joining my mother not just as an understudy but as a junior legislator. She could not be more proud and yet it leaves me as hollow as it has left her.
I love her, but Dad and I have both seen the toll shouldering a rebellion and then a fledgling government has taken, a responsibility that is my legacy, but standing here now I know I will never be her. Perhaps it's an inkling in the force or simply reason, but I know I will never follow the legacy her birth mother had unknowingly passed to her, and now to me. I am not a queen, nor a princess, and certainly not a senator.
I can see the past so clearly and yet when I look into the future all I see is uncertainty.
Her words calling for action in the senate are interrupted by the x-wings flying overhead as the military show begins and I know I would much rather be up there in the sky where I belong than down here.
~
I sit through event after event and yet I am only vaguely present, lost in my own mind whilst smiling as we greet politician after politician until I come to sit in my mothers office at the days conclusion as she instructs her staff on what invitations to accept and how and which to reject. Personally I'd reply with the same uninterested bluntless instead of cherry-picking how much courtesy should be styled amongst empty words, but that isn't the way of a politician.
While they're distracted I flick through my datapad, the articles on the holonews nothing I'm not already aware of, political scandals and disasters in the Outer Rims they attribute to it just being the Outer Rims and not the government's failure there. I smile to myself as a message from Aylee appears, the only other girl my age at the temple and by default my closest friend.
I saw you on the holonet! Master Luke made sure to show Ben and I. You looked beautiful. I miss you, how long until you come back to the temple?
Not soon enough. I miss you more.
My response is honest, more than she'll ever know, and I touch my white dress with warmth coming to my face, now glad for my quickly put together choice in my haste to get ready with Mom yelling through the door that we were running late. A scare tactic as it seems we arrived two hours early but still.
Mom's intern Korrie gives me a nudge to pay attention to the conversation. She's the closest thing to a friend I have here on Hosnian Prime, only my own age and yet she has all the political ambition and strive to achieve I seemed to have not been born with, instead inheriting my father's wish to be amongst the stars rather than in a room of politicians.
I can feel Mom's stress through the force as if the tension in the room was not enough. I don't think she realises just how strongly I can feel it with how out of practice she is in the Jedi arts. Just once I wish she'd walk away from politics, she'd be happier for it, but she fought too hard to let that work amount to nothing. Dad tells me Mom used to be far different during the war, a girl full of fire and anger who would mouth off at Darth Vader himself without fear, and that the careful words and calm temperament came far later in life.
It makes me wonder if it was this government and her role in it that forced her to become who she is now. A woman who is so wise and careful that I struggle to believe the stories Dad tells of her in the war despite the authority she carries.
He tells me we're more alike than she'd ever admit and yet that I also struggle to believe. Sitting here even now I feel suffocated, tugging at the high neckline of my dress to try to relieve it to no avail.
"Hope," Mom says, bringing me into the conversation between her and Korrie. "What do you believe in regards to building friendships between the Populists and the Centrists?"
"The Centrists are just people who just want to rebuild the Empire," I reply, words that certainly cannot be spoken outside this room. "It feels like everyone is just pretending to tolerate each other, it would be more effective if we could say the truth rather than dancing around it for the sake of diplomacy."
She makes a sound I can't quite place, somewhere between surprise and amusement. "I thought the same at your age, although I had far more blind faith in the senate than you do. I believed if we were loud enough then they'd have to listen. That if we fought hard enough in the senate we could still have victories no matter how small. I believed that right until the moment Alderaan was destroyed." She sighs as she says "If I saw as clearly as you do things could have been different."
Those words quieten me as much as they confuse me and I ask "You had blind faith?"
"I had faith in a false democracy that no longer existed," she clarifies. "Despite fighting against the Empire, I failed to realise how useless the senate was until it was too late and it was dissolved. This time I am not making the same mistake." She looks at her assistant Greer who stands beside Korrie and tells them "That will be all for today." I watch them leave and she tilts her head towards me once the door closes. "You know your eyes glaze over the same way your fathers do when talking about politics, although you're able to last slightly longer than him."
"Then why do you insist on having me here?" I ask her, knowing I sound like I'm whining but it's the truth. "You know I'm not a politician."
"No, but you are a fighter," she tells me and I lower my eyes. "These threats in the outer rims, rumours of an Imperial resurgence, the senate isn't taking it seriously and they never have. It was around the same time you were born I was sanctioning General Syndulla's investigations into these remnants and making all sorts of enemies in doing so, and yet soon it may be our own government we escalate into war with." She sits down next to me as she says "Until the day comes when you have to fight with a blaster you must fight in the senate to preserve what democracy we have left."
Unable to help myself I remark "You just said the senate's useless and besides, I'd rather fight with a lightsaber than a blaster when that day comes."
She shakes her head at me, not angry but amused. "Luke would tell you lightsabers are not for fighting, but to preserve peace despite how you and your brother like to pretend you're fighting to the death every time you're allowed to train together."
It's then I finally get the courage to ask "Why does he get to spend his days training while I have to attend university and go into politics?"
Except I already know, I just want to hear her say it. Ben and I may not be twins, not even close at six years apart, but Mom always saw Luke and herself in us. She saw Ben as Luke's half of their legacy, and mine as hers. The Jedi and the politician. Luke may have trained her after the war, but she still chose this life and I can never understand why.
"Because," she begins but pauses, debating her words. "Because despite all we did, darkness continues to grow and the best way for Ben to resist its temptation is to train with Luke. You do not have those weaknesses, you take after me in that." I wonder if she can see the bitter laughter I hold back at that assumption. "You surpass the other students, even though you divide your time between university and your training, because you are capable of doing both." Her praise feels hollow when I am only measured by my success and not the sacrifices I make for it. "You have exceptional talents Hope, you are an exceptional Jedi with the mind and heart to lead people someday, as well as being an incredible pilot like your father-"
"Then why don't I feel like any of those things?" I ask her and she frowns. "I've been told I'm all these things and yet I don't even know what I want to be, I just know I don't want to be a senator."
"I once said those words to my father and do you know what he told me?" she asks, there being no question the father she means is Bail Organa. "He said that is why I would probably be one of the best."
"And you are," I tell her, knowing she is. "But- that's not me."
She breathes in deeply and asks me "Then tell me, what is it you are passionate about? More than flying or fighting with a lightsaber, in your heart what drives you?"
"I-" I struggle with the words but know one thing. "I just want to feel alive, to fight." She purses her lips together at those words. "Sitting in a senate chamber listening to all the injustice but not being able to do anything about it drives me mad. So many issues would be solved if people just got off their asses and acted without sitting and discussing it in a committee."
My bluntness has her raising her eyebrows but she can't argue with the truth behind it. "You want to change things for the better," she says fondly. "Ever since you were four years old you told me you wanted 'to stop the bad people and fight like mommy and daddy did.'"
I lower my eyes at those words. "And do you remember why that was?"
My earliest memory, Lando's daughter and I playing under the supervision of a nanny droid, she was only two and I was four. Ben had disappeared for just a moment, he was ten years old but old enough that the Empire's kidnappers, or what was left of the Empire, waited until he was gone. Ben heard me screaming as they grabbed us, he used the force to choke my kidnapper and it shocked the man enough that he let me go but Kadara wasn't as lucky, and we were helpless as she was dragged screaming onboard their ship whilst we were kept back by blaster shots.
The same happened to the children of other rebel leaders and despite years of searching none were ever found. She was never found.
"Of course I remember," she sighs and reaches for my hand. "Every time your father and Lando came home from searching for Kadara you asked if she was with them and every time Han told you no you cried, and when you'd stop you'd ask to come with them next time. You always said 'But daddy I'm bigger now, let me help you.' Do you remember?" I give a stiff nod and she continues "You want to fight and this, all the bureaucracy and bullshit, it's the only way we have to do that right now as infuriating as it is."
"Mom," I say, just wanting her to listen. "How could I ever change anything by sitting in a senate chamber if Leia Organa can't? I'll never be able to do what you do, so how can I do anything to help anyone if they won't even listen to you."
Those words concern her as much as sadden her and she decides "Forget staying for the rest of the events, go back to Naboo and take some time to yourself, you've almost finished your time at the university. Now it's time for you to decide what comes next."
"I want to go home," I swallow and she looks away. "I don't want to go back to Naboo."
"The University of Theed is one of the best in the galaxy," she tries to reason with me. "It is an incredible opportunity and you are treated like royalty on Naboo-"
"Because of a woman I never knew, a woman whose family keep looking at me and trying to see her," I try to get her to understand. While she's met them and knows her cousin Pooja well she's always kept a distance between herself and her biological family despite sending me to live with them. "Sola and the rest of the Naberrie family are lovely, but they aren't my family Mom. You and Dad and Ben are. I just want to come home or at least be able to go and travel with Dad on the Falcon for a while. I can count the amount of times I've seen him in the past year on one hand."
"I know," she says quietly. "But that's your father, he never stays in one place for too long and as for travelling we can talk about that when you've finished your education, it's just a few more weeks."
A few more weeks feels like eternity. "If I have to hear my professor go on about how the Jedi were all traitors to the Republic one more time and keep my mouth shut I might scream."
Only then does she begin to relent, taking an attack against the Jedi as one against Luke and Ben. "Then don't keep your mouth shut, when have I ever taught you to keep quiet while hearing that nonsense?"
"I believe your exact words were to keep the peace," I remind her, still bitter. "After I got my lightsaber taken away."
"You got it taken away because you decided to prove a point to some Imperial bigot's son," she reminds me in turn. "There is a difference between being outspoken and being threatening, it is a line that people like you and Ben need to learn."
"Because people see us as dangerous?" She purses her lips together now, regretting her choice of words. "We both know it's the truth Mom and maybe I'm tired of having to pretend I'm just like everyone else so I don't scare them after all the Empire's propaganda against the Jedi."
The Empire fell, but ideology is harder to kill, even on Naboo it still lingers. The Republic has been restored but the people's faith in the Jedi will never be as it was.
"I know," she says gently and sighs "It's just a few more weeks, go back to Naboo and then we can talk again about what comes next."
I nod as I stand up, glad to be able to skip the political events now the most important one is over, the one I insisted on being here for since I knew what it meant to Mom. "At least I can get back to my ship, can't promise I'll stop flying when I get to Naboo but we'll see."
"You know, you've got the same restlessness as your father," she says fondly despite the feelings of resignation she fails to hide from me, from Ben. "You hate being stuck in one place."
"Well if I know one thing it's that the moment I finally finish university I'll be taking off," I tell her. "I don't know where but I'll keep flying until I end up somewhere."
She smiles, not realising it's a warning rather than wishful thinking.
~
The streets of Naboo are peaceful as my cousin and I walk to our classes at the University of Theed, although I'd much rather be on Ossus with Ben. It's been five months since I've seen him, but that only leaves a month or so until my final examinations and the end of my education. At least R2 is here with me, my constant companion since Luke deemed him an appropriate form of supervision in his absence. R2 is family, although thankfully less chatty than Threepio.
I was young when Mom found her birth mother's family, having ironically already known her cousin Pooja from their days in the senate, but it was her aunt Sola who insisted on having me here on Naboo to attend university. Mom jumped at the opportunity considering there was no Alderaan for me to study on. I was twelve then and stowed away on the Falcon to avoid leaving home, only found when Dad went to make repairs on a trip to Ossus and found me hiding below deck. To his credit he did let me come with him instead of turning back around to Hosnian Prime.
Ben was the one who stepped in to argue for my Jedi training, he wanted to take me as an apprentice then but Luke said he was still very much a padawan at eighteen and that I was not ready to be trained. Thankfully our combined stubbornness led to the agreement we have now even if it is exhaustive, and so after much fighting with Mom and Luke alike I've found myself training half the year on Ossus and the other completing my education here on Naboo, following the instructions Luke left me to ensure I was remaining dedicated to my training.
Luke hates the arrangement and I find myself in conflict more often with him than not, fed up with his constant lecturing that the Jedi path requires complete dedication to which Mom reminds him that he thought differently when he trained her. Reminding him that despite all the scriptures he's found his order is not the same as the old one and that the galaxy needs Jedi, even if the conditions of my training contradict whatever it is he believes.
"When the semester is finished my Mom wants me to start working in the senate properly," Siya tells me, she's Pooja's daughter and also being prepped for a career in the senate. "I know you'll be with your mom representing the remaining Alderaan sector, but won't it be exciting finally being there together as junior legislators?"
I don't know what I want or what comes next, but going to see Ben will be the first thing I do. He wants to prove himself to Luke by taking me as his apprentice, but that would mean devoting myself entirely to the Jedi path as Luke has already made clear. He agreed to train me but if I want to rise to the rank of knight I'll have to make a choice, even now I'm not sure what choice is right.
"When the semesters over I'll probably be returning to Ossos to train," I tell her, it's the only life I can foresee outside of possibly entering the New Republic Navy, but the past few years in Naboo's starfighter corps have taught me I don't work well with authority figures. "Ben wants to take me as his apprentice, and in all honesty I don't think I will end up becoming a junior legislator."
"Will your mom and Luke let you train full time?" she asks, knowing how difficult it's been. "I know how hard you fought to train there half the year let alone full time."
"Well, I'm almost seventeen now not twelve, and it's my decision to make," I say, although I do feel some guilt. "Luke's Luke about it, he used to be more relaxed about things but in the past few years it seems he's started adhering more to the old ways, and as for Mom I know how badly she wants me to be a senator like her but in truth it's just not the life I want and I think she's finally beginning to realise that."
"Well, will you at least stay for my candidacy for Princess of Theed?" she asks, holding my hand as she suggests "You know, there would be many who would support you if you ran yourself."
"Me?" I laugh in disbelief, knowing Princess of Theed is the position most often held before running to become Monarch. "Running for office? Siya I wasn't even born here."
"No you were born on the Millenium Falcon in the middle of space and have decided to believe that is where you belong, but you are one of the Naboo, it's in your blood," she says, and I wonder if this is coming from Pooja. "Your grandmother was the most loved queen in memory, in history, both of your grandmothers were, it is your legacy as a Naberrie and an Organa."
R2 gives an affirmative beep and I know he's found it nostalgic being on Naboo. I'd never known R2 originally belonged to my grandmother until I brought him home to Sola and Pooja, from there I was able to get his very long service transcript which Luke certainly found fascinating.
"I know R2," I say gently as we walk up the stairs of the university but tell Siya. "Don't get me started on legacy, because you're right that I'd be happiest flying around with Dad in the Falcon with no destination in mind."
As fond as I am of Naboo, I've never quite settled in. Despite being the daughter of a princess I never felt the suffocating grip of aristocracy until I came here and became a spectacle. The lost grandaughter of the most beloved queen in history and a Jedi, given an honourary title and expected to know how to play the part when I was raised by a smuggler and a woman who's more soldier than princess. Even she refrains from using her royal titles in preference of her political ones, so it's been an experience to say the least.
Although, once I learned I could complete Naboo's mandatory community service by undertaking security service training I soon found myself satisfied. After all, if they elected queens as young as twelve surely a stubborn twelve year old could insist on joining the security force at that age as well. Siya and I both chose to undertake specialised training given to prospective royal handmaidens since they held both of us in consideration for such a role, and whilst she set her sights a little higher I set mine sky high, the youngest pilot to ever be trained in their starfighter corps after I may have used some gentle persuasion to get clearance.
Even if I may currently be serving a suspension for what turned out to be illegal manoeuvres during atmospheric training. I pulled them off perfectly but it certainly didn't impress the people in charge.
"Speaking of destination do you know what class we have?" I ask and she just gives me an unsurprised look. "I forgot to check the schedule."
"Physical training," she answers and says "You're lucky one of us knows what's going on."
"I know," I sigh as we find ourselves walking to the gymnasium to a smaller selective class of girls our own age. Pooja ensured Siya and I both chose all the classes and programs that could set us up for a life of public office or service in the security forces. Royal handmaidens have always been trained to protect, but it seems my grandmother's handmaidens took their duty further, operating as special agents in a resistance group during the war, and now that training is being extended to us.
While many of her attendants were killed trying to avenge her death, either by Vader himself or the Empire, some lived, and so Saché who fought in the Invasion of Naboo has taken it upon herself to teach us in her elderly years, Dormé has also recently joined her.
It was from them we learned Padmé had indeed married Anakin after the Battle of Geonosis, that it was a secret marriage and not just an affair, and while they've been nothing but helpful they've always kept a careful distance and it makes me wonder what I still do not know.
"You are here because you have expressed interest in public service," Saché says, every lesson reminding us of this. "Whether it be as a loyal bodyguard, an agent in the security service or as an elected official. We are here to train you to protect not just yourselves, but each other. This lesson we will be working on your reflexes in hand to hand sparring." She nods to a pile of quarterstaffs. "Take one and partner up."
Siya and I take the weapons and partner up, immediately I'm twirling the staff behind my back as I would my saber out of habit and am reminded by Saché "Hope it's not a lightsaber."
I quickly return to the proper position, having found this particular training my favourite since it's the closest I can get to saber training whilst on Naboo and Siya sighs as she says "Please go easy."
"Don't worry, I can't exactly cut you in half with it," I assure her and feel Dormé's eyes on me, watching on with a strange sort of pain. "Not much of a Jedi without a lightsaber."
"Hope you did threaten someone with it," she reminds me and Dormé lowers her eyes.
"Barely threatened," I correct as we go through the drills, helping her through them since the movements come easy to me, after years of saber training it's muscle memory. "I just decided to show it off during an argument."
"Yeah, a guy said the Jedi were violent terrorists and you decided to prove his point with violence," she lectures me, but I brush it off.
"I threatened violence, I did not commit it," I say as our staffs collide. "There's a difference."
"Remember Hope," Dormé tries to counsel. "To threaten violence is only the step before committing it."
I nod and keep training, I've argued time and time again with Luke but never with the handmaidens, not when their very eyes are so eerie to me. The living pictures of what my grandmother could have looked like if she had lived. The few that still live made the effort to welcome me to Naboo even if I could sense their hesitation the moment they saw the lightsaber at my hip, but it has been Dormé who has taken it upon herself to care for me, having often come by the Naberrie house since she was close with the family.
It makes me feel guilty for telling Mom Naboo doesn't feel like home when it should, it would if only she were here with me, if Ben and Dad were with me it would be home.
But it just isn't without them.
~
We sit around the table for dinner at the Naberrie House in Theed, we've talked about restoring the lake house but Sola prefers the city. Ryoo visits often but it's Pooja and Siya who live here permanently to help care for her.
"How was the service on Hosnian Prime?" Pooja asks me, having only retired from the senate in the last few years since Mon Mothma resigned. "Is there any progress being made in the senate?"
"None except for arguing," I remark, knowing she doesn't need an explanation. "The service was lovely but I didn't stay around for the rest of the events."
"And how's Leia?" she asks me, I still find it so strange the two had been friends for so long due to being senators and never knew they were cousins. "I know things haven't been easy in the senate, I couldn't imagine dealing with it after having shouldered an entire rebellion."
"I can't either," I sigh and say "It seems the Centrists are lobbying to dissolve the role of chancellor and replace it with a First Senator who'd actually have power." I'd seen the holonews from today's senate meeting and only feel ill. "Is this how it felt when they gave Palpatine emergency powers, one vote and our system of government is simply torn apart?"
"Yes," Sola says heavily, her eyes weary. "This is precisely how it felt."
Pooja's face is grave, she served as senator when the Emperor dissolved the senate and knows better than I could what this means. "I don't know how Leia still does it, I'm glad I got out when Mon Mothma did."
"I think she'd be happier if she resigned but Leia Organa does not throw in the towel," I find myself saying, sometime's praying she would.
Pooja nods knowingly. "No, she does not."
"Neither did Padmé," Sola says, still feeling the loss of her younger sister as strongly as she did forty seven years ago now, despite being almost eighty she still remembers everything. "She would have been so proud of Leia and the work she has done for the Republic, so proud."
I smile but all I feel is guilt that she's devoted her entire life to public service and I can't even entertain the thought of it, but whenever I try to peer into the future all I feel a saber in one hand and a blaster in the other.
~
"I just want to come back to the temple," I tell Aylee one night on holocall, knowing the room we share on Ossus is waiting for me. "I miss you, and I miss my lightsaber."
"I'm sure you do," she smiles but reminds me "Even so, you should do as Master Luke says and live in the present rather than urging the future to hurry up."
"Well, it's easier said than done when you aren't here with me," I say, missing her hand in mine, missing her being the last thing I see before falling asleep in the bed across from hers.
"Is there nobody on Naboo you've found pleasant company?" she teases and my eyes are focused more on the hologram of her face than what she's saying.
"None as much as you," I say, feeling lingering words unspoken between us. Knowing what's between us is more than friendship, but with the physical distance that's so often between us she's more mindful than I am of what that can mean for such an attachment but still I persist. "I'd fly all the way there right now if it meant I could see you with my own eyes."
"Ah, so the poetry lessons have been paying off," she says and I hear the smile in her voice. "All you need is to use the calligraphy set your brother gave you and we could be like the lovers from the stories."
My heart skips a beat at that. "Lovers?"
"Well," she begins, warmth coming to her blue skin. "We'll see about that won't we." There's noise in the background and she turns back to me and says "One of the younglings has had a bad dream, I'll talk to you later."
She disappears and I lean back in bed with a stupid smile spread across my face, maybe, just maybe, things are falling into place after all.
It's not long after when Mom calls. While she checks in every few weeks she never does this soon, but it makes sense when I realise she's calling for political reasons much to my disappointment.
"I know it will probably go over your head, I know it's even gone over mine," she begins. "But Carise Sindian came to me after the events and this First Senator crap to tell me that I have inherited the governorship of Birren."
"Birren?" I question, the name familiar. "Is that an Alderaanian settlement?"
"It was settled by Alderaanian explorers and others a long time ago," she explains. "Their governor has passed and by right of succession with the Great Houses it's fallen onto me it seems."
I'm confused, more so why she's calling me because of it. "Are you inviting me to an inauguration or..."
She sighs, clearly not happy with any of this. "I've only just recently discussed this with your father, but you should know I'm considering resigning at the end of this term." The news leaves me utterly stunned as she continues "Which is why I do not want to take up a governorship of a planet I have little to do with, I would essentially be a ceremonial monarch that isn't wanted. Perhaps ten years ago I might have considered it but I think my days in politics as a whole might be coming to an end for the sake of my sanity if nothing else."
Leia Organa has had enough, which means I've severely underestimated just how grave things have become, but still I can't understand why she's called me at this hour to talk about a governorship. "Okay, wow, but why-"
"If I do not take the governorship it will pass to Carise Sindian, but it is a hereditary position," she says and slowly I realise. "Ben will never want anything to do with politics and he isn't trained for it, but you are. I think I already know your answer, but I want the choice to be yours whether or not this governorship passes to you once I refuse it."
Now I am truly stunned, all this time I've trained and cautiously laughed off suggestions of taking public office on Naboo and now this falls into my hands, a position that would mean becoming the monarch of a planet I can't even remember stepping foot on. The realisation is startling, that despite there being no Alderaan I have royal claims that still exist because of it.
"Did you say monarch?" I find myself stammering and her sigh is confirmation I didn't mishear her. "Aren't governors just someone who shows up every once and a while to make sure people aren't killing each other?"
"Usually yes, but in this case it's essentially a modest name for a monarch. It's a colony of Alderaanians and Arkanisians and therefore it is my responsibility," she says but I'm still caught up on the fact Leia Organa is considering resigning. "You never knew Alderaan or my family, but you are still the heir to the Organa line and as such this is your decision to make. If we both refuse it will go to Carise Sindian. I know what we spoke about, I know you have little interest in politics but it is still your birthright and your right to accept or refuse. I won't lie, it's ceremonial, a lot of pomp and a meaningless display of hereditary wealth that the people of Birren don't even care about, but it's still your choice to make."
Mom was right when she says she already knows my answer and again I can't help but feel like a failure for it, my grandmother ruled a planet at fourteen and Mom represented hers in the senate when she was my age, and here I am just wanting to run away from all of it.
"Would you be mad if I said no?" I ask anxiously but she just laughs much to my surprise.
"Not at all, if it was up to just me I'd abolish the damn role," she answers frankly. "But I have no doubt Carise will happily accept considering all her nonsense about the importance of titles, and more importantly I want you to be happy Hope. I know sometimes it might not seem like it but I just want to make sure you have everything you need to be able to choose whatever path you wish to take. As a mother it's my job to give you those foundations so you can build whatever life you want for yourself."
"I know Mom," I say, my throat suddenly tight and bring the conversation back to her. "And I'd be happy if you resigned, I'd be really really happy, but with this First Senator stuff it just seems like common sense that you'd be nominated for the position."
"I fear I will be," she says, accepting power with a great amount of reluctance. "But let's pray I'm not and once I resign then perhaps this family can start looking more like a family again."
Tears fill my eyes and I smile "I'd like that Mom."
~
Days pass and the political news indeed informs us Mom will not be resigning any time soon with the burden of responsibility only she is competent enough to handle, but I can't shake that shadow nipping at my heels, stronger than I've felt it.
My bedroom seems haunted by the ghosts of people I'll never meet, a room that belonged to my grandmother. My gift, as Luke calls it, seems more like a curse at times, such a rare ability to see the past by touching an object or stepping onto certain ground, to have fragments of the past but never the full picture. Psychometry, a skill that very few Jedi possessed, one that even Luke has struggled to find scriptures on, and so with no one alive to teach me how to control my visions they come by chance.
I look at the new training garments I've altered for myself, although they aren't exactly robes. Ben and many of the other students wear the traditional robes like Luke but well, I prefer something a little nicer, a little more fitted. I take in the crisp white fabric between my fingers, the combat suit was made out of the best materials possible since it belonged to a former queen and it didn't need many alterations to suit my training. I shut my eyes and try to find some force signature, to try to summon some vision with little success, I've always seemed to have more success with my visions when I enter a location rather than through just touching an object.
Luke would say I've never taken my training seriously since I don't sit in a temple at all hours, but unlike him I plan to not just master these gifts, but to use them. Ben shares my frustration with the knowledge and skills we have going unused, and Luke still doesn't see the living irony he's found himself in, slowly recreating the old order instead of one that's new.
"Hope," Aunt Sola says, standing in the doorway of the bedroom. "How are you faring with your studies?"
"Alright," I answer, knowing they could be better.
"I spoke with your mother last night," she begins. "She tells me you're thinking of setting your sights outside of politics."
I'm confused why she's bringing this up but answer "I- I'm not quite sure to be honest."
She nods and sits down beside me on the bed, touching the white outfit that belonged to her sister with a pained look. "I find it remarkable Leia's stayed in politics as long as she has, it's no easy feat. From when Padmé was twenty we'd encouraged her to retire to focus on her own happiness but much like your mother, she believed everything would fall apart if she did."
"Well, it did didn't it?" I say, knowing what came surrounding the time of her death, the rise of the Empire. "She led the opposition, and when she died they lost any power they had."
She nods slowly. "That is true, and sometimes I wonder if she would have still walked away if she'd lived long enough to make that decision, if she'd have stayed to fight Palpatine or if she would have come home with your grandfather to live the quiet life she deserved." I'm quiet, listening as she tells me "Whatever occurred in the days after the Empire was born I know she died with two regrets, the first not being able to raise your mother and Luke."
"And the second?"
"Growing up too fast," she says and then it makes sense. "As young as Padmé and your mother were when they took up politics, I know Padmé often lamented she wasn't old enough despite how well she carried herself. If she were here, she'd tell you not to grow up too fast."
The words should feel like a relief, and yet...
"Hope, come on," Siya calls out from the hallway. "We're gonna be late."
"Thank you Aunt Sola," I say and she squeezes my hand. "I'll remember that."
She looks me over in concern before letting me go and I join Siya outside.
~
Our class is taken on a tour of the palace for the anniversary of Naboo's liberation from the Trade Federation and while the palace is usually a comforting sight it feels unusually cold.
"With the assistance of the Jedi Knights Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi Queen Amidala made her way into the palace accompanied by Captain Panaka and her loyal handmaidens," the guide tells us and feel eyes glancing towards me upon the word Jedi. "Qui-Gon Jinn would be killed in the following battle, whilst Obi-Wan Kenobi would live to attend the Queen once again in her time as senator."
My class walks ahead but I find myself drawn towards the doors that lead to the hanger, with everyone distracted I slowly make my way there and have to stop myself when I see her.
Mom?
She's far younger, in her early twenties and standing with a dark haired woman who's slightly older, both of them dressed for combat and I realise what I must be seeing, the only time she would have stood in this room. Operation Cinder.
"Do you feel that?" I hear her ask from the entrance and feel the chill in my spine that I've come to recognise, darkness. "I feel... cold."
"Must be the storms, the windchill maybe," an attendant says.
"I just felt... never mind," Mom trails off and shakes her head before calling out to the other woman. "Shara-"
They disappear and I keep moving forward, hearing the sounds of boots and blasters being readied and stop when I see a blonde haired child in one of the N-1's, hearing a man's voice telling him "Anakin stay where you are."
Anakin?
I look at the child now with an open mouth as he argues back but whatever shock I feel at who I'm seeing is very quickly replaced as I hear doors slide open and pure darkness fills my senses, a darkness I first felt with the Knights of Ren and now... my head turns towards the sound and I see my grandmother and her entourage stopped in their tracks by a cloaked man of the Dathomirian species, a people all but exterminated by the Empire, he throws his hood back and I see eyes I've only ever heard of. The eyes of a Sith.
I'm frozen by the darkness as he brandishes his saber and ignites one burning red blade, and then a second from the same hilt. The horror turns to awe as the two Jedi attack, moving with a skill I've never seen in my life, their saber techniques beyond even Luke's. Only then do I understand what was lost when the Jedi order fell, we are no longer Jedi trained from childhood by masters of a thousand year lineage, but force users studying texts in vain as no amount of reading could compare to years of teaching from a true master. Not even Luke truly ever had that training.
The vision only cuts out when R2 bumps into me and I lose focus, looking down to find him beeping in concern and wonder how long I've been standing here for, staring into nothingness in the empty hanger. I rub my cold arms and reach instinctually for my throat, the darkness still lingering. I've had my visions, but nothing like this.
"Let's go R2," I swallow. "Something isn't right."
~
That night I find myself sleepless with R2 keeping a careful eye on me. Whenever I begin drifting off to sleep I feel that darkness I first touched when Ben and I met the Knights of Ren and then again today, it's cold, uncomfortable. Every time I shut my eyes I see a red saber in the darkness, the only light there is and whenever I take a step towards it I wake.
I have half a mind to reach out to Ben, I know he has a datapad even if he can't seem to use it. Mom's had to ask me how he is because he just won't reach out to her, Luke isn't much better. She feels alone, and so do I.
Still I try and whisper his name "Ben."
I feel a murmur in the force bond we share that lets me know even if I feel alone I'm not, not when I know this shadow follows us both. That as long as I have Ben I have someone who understands. But as I try to meditate on what it all means I'm only left with uncertainty as Ren's words play on my mind.
The girl is something else, something more dangerous. That shadow hasn't touched her yet but it will, I can promise you that much, and you better be ready when it does.
And I swear the further into the darkness I search I only feel a modulated breath breathing down my neck.
~
The long days and sleepless nights begin to blur together, finding myself more often than not avoiding whatever classes I can to find refuge in my ship, flying it across the lake country as if I could simply disappear into the horizon. We pass the palace and I find myself replaying what I saw in my mind again and again, finding myself stunned by the sight of Anakin Skywalker who couldn't have even been ten then, and the Sith lord. The more I learn about the Sith the more it disturbs me deeply, how Palpatine must have orchestrated so many galactic events for his own benefit, even the Invasion of Naboo.
"So tell me what did I miss last lesson?" I ask, wanting to distract myself.
"You mean since you've skipped the last two lessons we've had?" Siya corrects and answers "Finished up revising the Invasion and we're moving onto the Clone Wars this week. I sent you the reading material."
"There's not much to learn there," I sigh, having learned about all there is about the Clone Wars when I came to Naboo and decided to look into Mom's birth parents. "Do you think I could get away with skipping class again?"
"You're already on disciplinary probation," she reminds me and looks at R2 as we near class. "You know the professor hates when you bring droids into class."
R2 gives a defensive beep that I echo "This isn't the Empire, she can learn that if she discriminates against my droid she can suffer the consequences. Isn't that right R2?"
He beeps in agreement as we walk into class and R2 parks himself beside me. We're getting out our datapads to take notes as our elderly teacher begins, an Imperial sympathiser who barely reigns it in on the best of days. I know dozens of complaints have been made, mostly by me, but she must be extorting someone to still have a job, or worse the rumours are true, that the headmaster himself is one of them as well.
But considering a sith once walked the same halls of this university nothing would surprise me anymore.
She grimaces when she sees R2 but wisely decides to not pick that battle today.
"Now today as it will be the final topic you will be assessed on in your examinations we will be covering the role of Naboo in the Clone Wars."
The teacher brings up surviving media articles from the time and I see my grandmother's face, feeling the other students eyes on me. Sola tells me we look alike in the shape of our features, having her dark hair and perhaps a similar shape of our faces and nose, but that's where it seems to end. She was beautiful in the type of way that's almost ethereal, and whilst Mom certainly takes after Padmé I struggle to see it in myself even if her family can. I can hardly say I take after my father, Ben's the one who does, I may have his light coloured eyes but that's where it ends, although Mom would say I have the same blue that Luke has rather than his.
"Now, Naboo's role in the outbreak of the Clone Wars has been understated, but it was in fact the attempted assassination of Queen Padmé Amidala, who was then acting as senator, which began what would end in the Battle of Geonosis." The teacher looks at me and I quickly shake my head but she says "Hope, perhaps you could give us some personal insight into this event."
I look at R2 before telling her "My droid could since he served in the Clone Wars and was actually present at that battle."
She grimaces again and attempts to correct me. "It, not he. It is not a lifeform."
Siya gives me a warning look that I ignore. "Did you serve in the Clone Wars? You're certainly old enough."
Her lips part in offence before pursing them again. "No."
"Then he knows more than you do," I chime and R2 beeps in support before calling her something Luke would certainly not approve of but that I think is quite fitting.
"Well," she scoffs and quickly moves on, thankfully not understanding binary. "Our records have shown that following the assassination attempt in 22 BBY the Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker were assigned to hunt down the assassin." There is a noticeable shift of tone on the word Jedi, something I hear far too often from those who sympathise with the Empire. Even those who don't... the damage the Empire did to our legacy is irreparable. "And I will have it known in this classroom that the Jedi were responsible for more war crimes than any other faction despite what the New Republic would say, Anakin Skywalker being the biggest contributor according to surviving records."
She looks straight at me and I can't tell if she likes me because of my grandmother, at this point to tarnish her name would be a crime higher than treason to the Naboo, or hates me because of the rest of my family. I lean towards the latter. I look at R2 in question at her accusation and he gives a beep that infers she isn't quite wrong but his tone is a little too proud.
I don't expect for their pictures to be shown and realise until now I've never truly seen them. Obi-Wan Kenobi, the man who saved my mother from the Empire when she was just a girl, the man who introduced Luke to the force, the man my brother was named after.
And then Anakin Skywalker.
R2 makes a sad noise from beside me and I put a hand on his dome. Luke and I discovered R2 was Anakin's personal droid during the war and the extent of that loyal service, but he's always been hesitant to reveal anything about that time or my grandfather.
I find my eyes fixed on him, slightly shaken by the resemblance I see, a resemblance I've always struggled to see in my grandmother's face but is so clear in his. From the shape of my brows to the colour of my eyes, in shape they're almost identical to Mom's but they're the same shade of blue as his. There's something about the life behind them that seems too familiar. In the photo he's smiling alongside his squadron of clone troopers, something about it makes me feel cold and I don't know why.
I feel Siya silently looking between us and know she sees the resemblance too.
A man whose name my mother cannot bear to hear let alone mention herself. Such a difference between her and Luke, and perhaps the only sore point of topic between them. I still remember my mothers anger after Luke had told Ben and I who he was, a Jedi Knight who fought in the Clone Wars. Neither of us could ever understand her anger but based on it I can't truly deny the claims of him being a war criminal since it's one of the few things that could explain her anger towards him. But then again considering the stories Dad tells me she can hardly be too phased by criminals so it still makes little sense to me.
"Recently released records from our archives tell us she went into hiding with Anakin Skywalker as her protector, or so it claims." She stops to look at me in disapproval, the living evidence that he was far more than that. "Whilst Obi-Wan Kenobi uncovered the creation of the Clone Army by accident while tracking the bounty hunter Jango Fett to Kamino. Interestingly enough it is believed he would have met the bounty hunter Boba Fett who was an important figure in the inner circle of Darth Vader, and was killed shortly before the destruction of the second death star in a confrontation with the Rebel Alliance in an attempt to rescue Princess Leia Organa and Han Solo from capture after they murdered Jabba the Hutt."
I feel my classmates sharing looks and whispering, it wasn't until I came to Naboo I truly realised the extent of my family's role in recent history, an importance I've tried to deny despite being the living legacy of the galaxy's most famous family as I am so frequently reminded.
The professor is oblivious to the truth behind the deaths of Jabba the Hutt and Boba Fett, with Dad accidentally knocking him into a sarlacc pit while blind as my mom strangled Jabba the Hutt to death with her own chains. When Dad told me that story as a kid I certainly never saw her as a boring politician after that.
"Some say Boba Fett survived this ordeal and became a crime lord in the Outer Rims but that is utter nonsense," she adds and I look down at my datapad deciding not to correct her on that. Dad learned the truth the hard way upon going to Mos Espa to do business whilst I was with him as a child, meeting Boba Fett myself and realising for the first time that my Dad was not a fearless man and certainly not always the legitimate freighter Mom would have Ben and I believe he is.
"Eventually this would lead General Kenobi to Geonosis where he was taken captive by the Separatist leader Count Dooku. It is unknown exactly what transpired but it is believed Senator Amidala received a transmission for help and went to rescue him alongside Skywalker. Now upon arriving she was also taken hostage and negotiated with Count Dooku for the lives of the Jedi but was sentenced along with them to death. It is believed she herself put up quite the fight in what was intended to be death by beast in an arena." I blink at her, surprised to actually learn something new but after the training her and the handmaidens went through I shouldn't be surprised. "She survived until the Jedi army came and participated as a combatant in the Battle of Geonosis which marked the start of the Clone Wars. Clones that never would have been discovered by the Jedi if not for the assassination attempt against our former queen."
I'm cursing under my breath as she comes over to me, drawing even more unwanted attention but I could not have expected the words that leave her.
"Who knows, from the rumours I hear we may yet have another queen come from her bloodline."
I look at Siya but quickly realise it's me the teachers speaking to and shake my head, struggling to keep my voice polite as I find myself anxiously playing with my rings. "Yeah, definitely not, and I would just like to sit here and listen please."
My lucky brother endures none of this hidden away training with Luke, meanwhile I've become the family spectacle since being put in the public eye as Mom's successor.
"Oh don't be shy, you are part of the greatest history in the last hundred years," she tells me but I don't miss the tone in her voice that means to attack me, to humiliate me. "The daughter of a common criminal turned half respectable hero and a princess, even if it is not by blood of course but I suppose those things don't matter in our glorious New Republic." I'm sitting there staring past her, trying to keep my mouth shut but she keeps talking. "You may yet be the daughter of a Chancellor according to the political news, she would be the second hailing from the Naboo."
"And the first was a monster who destroyed the Republic so it's not a hard act to follow," I remind her and her mouth falls open in offence, giving me enough satisfaction to go on. "If you would like some personal insight I have it on good authority that he masterminded everything from the Invasion of Naboo to the Clone Wars. Using the suffering of his own people to make himself Chancellor, and then Emperor, considering he was a Sith lord and all."
She gasps, that not being part of her acceptable history. "Now, that is what we call a conspiracy Miss Solo and I will not have those in my classroom! And as for being a so called Sith, that is all just a bunch of religious nonsense."
"Really?" I repeat, finally finding some entertainment in this class as I lean forward with my elbows on the table, tempted to show her just how real it is. "I mean considering you constantly remind me of the role my family played in the wars shouldn't you believe me when I tell you it was my uncle, the legendary Jedi master, who killed the Emperor?" I look at the holopicture of my grandfather and in a moment of frustration use the force to shut it off which has her gasping in shock and I hear a whistle from the back of the room. "Or are the Jedi still seen as either dangerous insurgents to be executed or simply religious fools?"
"Miss Solo," she warns but I truly can't help myself when she looks so horrified by my audacity.
"Because if you would like to hear some history of Naboo in the Clone Wars I can tell you how Palpatine, who you deem to be a great Chancellor and symbol of pride for your planet, systematically committed a genocide against the Jedi, against Alderaan and countless other planets, would you like me to go on?"
"That is quite enough," she says sharply and finally shows her true colours. "The Emperor brought order unlike this provisional government your mother helped organise which is pure chaos and indecisiveness. Thankfully the Centrists intend to bring back order."
"You mean the Empire?" I say and feel gasps from around the room, knowing those very words are enough to cause a political scandal but I don't care when it feels so good to say them. "I know you very much like to censor the history you teach so let me make it clear that Padmé Amidala, the most beloved queen in living memory, was one of the founding figures of the Rebellion against Palpatine alongside Bail Organa and Mon Mothma when she formed the Delegation of Two Thousand and she was murdered for it by Darth Vader on the orders of the Emperor." It was never truly proven, but when her handmaidens investigated her death that is the truth they found. "By a Sith lord who tortured members of the Imperial Senate and killed billions with the death star my family blew up, both times actually, but you seem to neglect those facts."
She struggles to keep her voice as awfully chirpy as usual when she realises the target she's put on herself and swallows "Miss Solo, you are just as opinionated as your mother but at least she has the grace to use a filter."
"You're right, I don't have her grace or her filter which is why I'm not afraid to call an Imperial sympathiser an Imperial sympathiser," I remark and watch the colour drain from her face as I lose my grip on the suffocating self control I've forced upon myself. "Didn't they put you people through repurposed mind flayers before you could re-enter society or did they miss you?"
She stands there horrified as she gapes "You little spawn of-"
"I take that as a yes then."
"Hope Solo!" she reprimands. "Another word and you will be referred to the headmaster for expulsion."
"Is he an Imperial sympathiser as well?" I ask and she gapes at my accusation as I stand, having already packed my bag. "Please expel me so I can go and finish my Jedi training since you can't have me executed for that anymore." She's fuming so profusely I can see a vein popping and it's for the pure satisfaction of infuriating her I use the force to open the door, now truly causing shock amongst the room, whilst Naboo has done well of preserving the Jedi's true legacy there are still those who believe it to be either a load of nonsense or something to be killed for. "Unfortunately unlike my grandfather I haven't committed any war crimes yet but I'll work on that. Come on R2, I'm sure you can help me."
"Hope Solo!" I hear her screeching as I leave the room knowing the consequences but that's a problem for later. Siya follows me down the hall, calling my name but I just keep my head down and keep going.
"Hope!" She eventually catches up to me and grabs my wrist. "You shouldn't let her get to you, I know it's embarrassing-"
"Embarrassing?" I repeat, shaking my head. "I cannot sit through a damn history lesson without someone in my family being in there somewhere and suddenly all eyes are on me the moment she starts going on about the Jedi deserving what they got. I hate it and now people here want me to run to be queen just because my grandmother was so they can have a story to overshadow the fact the Emperor was one of them."
"Your grandmother was loved by everyone," she says gently. "They see her in you."
"But I'm not her," I say almost sadly. "Sola has told me all about her, she was a brilliant woman but I never knew her. More than anyone she looks at me and sees her little sister who died too young." It's the most difficult thing to possibly explain. "The weight of everyone wanting me to be someone I'm not is just getting too much. I don't want to be a senator let alone a queen, I just want to be free to do whatever I want, not this."
"Hope," she says, knowing what I'm about to do. "Don't leave."
"I'm sorry," I say quietly. "Tell Aunt Sola I'm sorry too."
She stands there as I leave the university and walk through the city with my head down until I find myself coming to my grandmother's resting place, a grand tomb built for a queen.
Yet as I approach a dark chill washes over me, one that remains as I enter the mausoleum and I look upon the statue of her, unable to understand how a girl of fourteen had willingly taken on such responsibility whilst at mere months from seventeen all I want is to run to the stars and never return.
Her death even now is a mystery with Sola telling me she'd believed she'd died due to complications with her pregnancy, that it was their grandmother who dealt with preparing her for the funeral and that the Jedi were secretive as to what happened, Palpatine was especially secretive. She was still certain her sister was murdered for fighting against Palpatine and protecting the Jedi. Others loyal to Padmé searched for answers and came to the conclusion she was murdered by Darth Vader, once the Amidalans tried to sentence him to death for the crime but well... it was Darth Vader against civilian soldiers.
There was no winning.
They believe Vader killed my grandfather when he was protecting the Jedi Temple, although some reports believe he later died protecting my pregnant grandmother from Vader. Someday I want to find the answers, with my gifts I may be the only person who can learn the truth. Many Jedi can glimpse the future, some had the rare gift of psychometry which he believes I possess, but Luke is yet to find record of any who can see the past as vividly as I do.
That darkness only grows stronger and autumn leaves begin to blow in the wind, night suddenly falling over the site and I hear a voice that seems strangely familiar. "You cannot, you will not desecrate this grave."
I look behind me and draw a sharp breath at the imposing figure of Darth Vader mere feet away, whilst I am no stranger to visions this one is so vivid I need to take a moment to compose myself.
I look back to see five women who resemble my grandmother, recognising Dormé and Saché. "So swears the handmaidens of Amidala."
I watch remnants of a brutal battle unfold between the women and Vader, a battle that can only end in defeat, and once it ends with them subdued he walks forward towards a display case, carefully I follow to find a wooden pendant, made with such care it must be hand carved.
He stands for a moment in silence until continuing down into the tomb below and I find her figure as I've seen it before, carved in stone upon the coffin.
"No, you can't desecrate her!" A voice cries out in horror only for him to raise his hand.
"Well of course he can Sabé," the voice of a protocol droid says. "Lord Vader came here for answers, and he will have them."
Answers? What answers could he possibly be searching for if he killed her?
I watch in borderline horror as he begins to use the force to open the stone tomb before quickly lowering his hand and stopping. He remains silent while the droid instead scans the tomb and I begin to wonder just what he could possibly be searching for.
"A med implant," the droid says. "Stamped, and traceable."
A hologram appears of the system, Polis Massa.
The sound of blastershots has me turning around as the handmaidens confront him once again but then it's gone, Vader is gone and there is only light again as the sun creeps in from above. Slowly I look down at R2, but of course he can't see what I've seen and I ask him "Do you know what happened on Polis Massa?"
He makes an alarmed sound but reveals nothing else.
"R2," I repeat but he refuses to tell me anything. "Fine, we'll just have to go there then won't we?"
"I advise you don't," a voice says and I turn to see Dormé standing there with a grim expression. "You had a vision didn't you?" I don't answer as she comes to stand beside me, looking upon the tomb. "I was one of the handmaidens who went to Polis Massa during the war."
"Then tell me," I plead with her, having long suspected the surviving handmaidens of keeping something from me. "Or I will find out myself."
"You have Padmé's determination," she tells me sadly. "Which is why I know I cannot stop you, but know that if you follow the same trail Sabé led us on it will only end in darkness."
"I know Vader had a hand in her death," I tell Dormé but she simply looks upon me with sadness. "I just- why would he investigate it if he killed her?"
"Like I said sweet child, you do not want to know," she gently insists, her voice grave. "Sometimes I wish I did not."
"I have the right to know," I say and she gives an understanding nod. "Why is it none of the handmaidens can ever look me in the eye when I ask about Anakin Skywalker?"
She comes to hold my face gently, almost as a grandmother would. "I knew him better than most as I served Padmé during the Clone Wars. You take after him greatly, I only wish Sabé were here to tell you more, she was closer to Padmé than any of us."
I've been told she was my grandmother's most loyal bodyguard, the one most determined to avenge her, that she died during the war. "What happened to her?"
"She followed the same path you wish to take, it led to a very dark place and she got lost in it," she gently warns me. "I should not need to council a Jedi on darkness."
"Then don't," I say stiffly, having heard enough lectures from Luke. "If no one will tell me the truth I'll just have to find it myself."
She nods in understanding. "Then I hope you find peace with the truth, because Sabé never did."
With that warning I leave the tomb, feeling darkness follow me.