A/N: Here is the next installment… sorry it's taken me so long to post. I do have several chapters for this under development but life's been the secretary who seems to schedule every dreaded meeting you never want to attend leaving me little time or energy for much else. I have also not forgotten about Signs. It will get updated probably in another month when I have more time for writing. The song used here is Elton John's "I Guess That's Why They Call it the Blues"

I want to thank Zygon24 for her unwavering support of my writing. She's an amazing writer in her own right and it's an honor to have such a great fan/friend :)

Shout out to Windbound… Here's another one :)

I am dedicating this chapter to my great friend V. In life it seems that when it rains it pours but just know your a badass (and an all around wonderful person) and amazing things are on the horizon for you :-D

:::

Gil and Sara were currently curled up in bed spending a lazy evening together. It was Gil's night off and Sara was on call. When two hours had passed without a call-in they assumed it safe to continue with their plans for the evening, a movie and Chinese takeout.

Sara had chosen the night's movie, Turner and Hooch, in honor of Hank.

"Well you know how much he likes watching other dogs on TV. Plus he never gets to pick the movies."

Gil had thought it best not to argue or mention that Hank was just a dog. Hank and Sara had become inseparable since their first meeting. For the past several months Hank had let Gil know that while Gil might be his owner, Sara was his girl. Gilbert Grissom was more than ok with that. His heart swelled whenever he saw Sara come over after a tough shift only to have Hank lavish her with attention seeming to know when she needed it the most. It was in those moments that he'd see her get a second wind and he'd delight in hearing her laugh or seeing her smile.

"I can't believe Tom Hanks is actually eating those dog biscuits. They can't possibly taste good," Gil said while making a face of disgust.

"Actually you'd be surprised. While they might not be my go to snack of choice they don't taste half bad," Sara admitted.

"You've actually tried them?" Gil asked incredulously.

"Of course. I had to know what we're feeding our baby. I mean if it isn't something we'd be willing to eat ourselves then why should we be feeding it to him?" She replied seriously.

If possible he just fell in love with her even more. This woman had such a huge heart and he thanked God everyday that it was he whom she chose to love.

He kissed her deeply before replying,

"Have I told you lately how much I love you?"

Sara was caught off guard by his question. Of course he had said those words but not often. She knew he loved her; he was just more of an actions over words kind of guy.

"Well I'll never tire of hearing it," she said with a smile kissing him back.

"Oh and how come he's our baby when we're talking about his food but last night when he was raiding the laundry basket he was my son?" Gil teased her.

"Hmmm let's see, I think it might be because there's a conspiracy going on between you two. Soon I won't have any underwear left," Sara said recalling how Hank seemed to have a fondness for her underwear and she'd often find him stealing them from the laundry basket only to hide them in his dog bed.

"And you having no underwear to wear is a bad thing because…" Gil said, raising an eyebrow with a mock serious tone in his voice.

Sara smacked him playfully before replying,

"See what I mean?! It is a conspiracy!"

Twenty minutes later Sara's cell phone started to ring and she paused the movie. Before she could answer it however Gil rolled on top of her pinning her to the bed.

"Gil, I need to answer my phone. It's probably work," she said, trying to sound serious but failing miserably.

"Hmmm… I think you… can just pretend… you didn't hear it… or that… you forgot… to charge your phone," he said, placing gentle kisses across her face.

"The great workaholic Dr. Gilbert Grissom is advising me to ignore a call from work?" She said with an eyebrow raise.

"When there are much better things to do, yes," he said, lavishing her face with more kisses.

… Don't wish it away

Don't look at it like it's forever

Between you and me I can honestly say

That things will only get better

Sara giggled before pushing him up so she could answer her phone.

"Sidle," she said as she flipped open her phone.

"Hey Sara it's Catherine…"

Sara was listening to Catherine explain how they were tapped out and how she was sorry for the call since Sara hadn't had a night off in nearly two weeks.

"It's ok Catherine I understand," but before Sara could continue Gil assaulted her neck with a series of slow sensual kisses and she struggled to contain the moan that slipped out.

"Sara are you ok?" Catherine asked her.

"Uh yes…sorry, cramps. That time of the month can be a real bitch you know?"

"Oh you don't have to tell me. Makes me feel really bad for calling you in but we're swamped and Swing was already tapped out so we had to help them at the start of shift."

"It's no problem. I'll be there within the hour," she said before hanging up.

Sara looked up to see Gil's pouting face. She then heard whimpering and looked toward the end of the bed where Hank was giving her his best puppy dog eyes, pleading with her not to go.

"You two don't fight fair," she said with a laugh.

"Don't worry my shift will be over before you know it. Now if you'll excuse me I am going to take a quick shower," Sara said rolling out of bed.

She walked into the bathroom but before she closed the door she quickly stuck her head out.

"Well are you coming?" She said with a gleam in her eyes.

Gil didn't need to be told twice as he jumped out of bed following her into the bathroom.

… And while I'm away

Dust out the demons inside

And it won't be long before you and me run

To the place in our hearts where we hide

Forty-five minutes later Sara was grabbing her keys and heading out the door. A minute later Gil heard a key in the door as Sara came back into the house.

"Forget something?" he asked from the foyer.

"Yes. This," she said as she kissed him breathless.

"Now you boys behave yourselves while I'm gone ok?" she said with a smile as she grabbed her keys once again.

"Yes dear," Gil said with a matching smile.

Once she left, Gil sat down on the living room couch letting out a big sigh. Hank came over to sit at his feet, a forlorn expression on his face.

"We're in deep my friend," Gil said as he scratched behind the dog's ears.

… And I guess that's why they call it the blues

Time on my hands should be time spent with you

Laughing like children, living like lovers

Rolling like thunder under the covers

And I guess that's why they call it the blues

A few hours later Gil was roused from his spot on the couch by the ringing of the phone. He put down his crossword and walked to grab his phone from its charging spot in the kitchen.

"Grissom," he answered into the phone.

"Hello Gilbert," Sara said in a playfully seductive voice. He secretly loved when she called him that. She was the only person other than his mother to ever call him that.

"Hey honey. How's your night going?"

"Oh not bad. Honestly I love it when criminals get stupid. Makes my job easier. I was assigned a smash and grab at a jewelry store. Perp cut himself on some of the glass in the place and then removed his gloves leaving bloody prints everywhere. Then the idiot goes to the local ER where they remove some of the said glass from his hand. He needed over 20 stitches. It didn't take long for Jim to get a confession. I think my favorite part of the night was Jim asking him if someone was selling a new brand of stupid. Guy actually said he'd been watching the news and seen so many people supposedly getting away with crimes he thought he could do the same."

"Sometimes the future of humanity scares me," he said with a chuckle.

"I know what you mean. So I just have to finish up some paperwork but it looks like I should be out of here in the next hour or two."

"Thank goodness because I think Hank's going crazy with you being gone. He doesn't know what to do with himself," he lied looking at the dog sleeping peacefully in his dog bed.

"Oh poor baby," she said, knowing full well Gil was not talking about Hank but rather himself.

"Yes it's terrible seeing him in this state so hurry home."

Sara couldn't help the giggle that escaped as she replied.

"Will do bugman. Try not to go too crazy until then."

… Just stare into space

Picture my face in your hands

Live for each second without hesitation

And never forget I'm your man

After their call, Gil sat back down, reflecting on the change in his and Sara's relationship over the past few months. After her suspension he'd made an effort to rekindle their friendship. If she was brave enough to share her past, then he felt the least he could do was be there for her. Of course he'd thought about finally taking the leap into something more than friendship but he was worried that her prophecy of one day being too late had already come true. He reasoned that having a woman as amazing as Sara Sidle in your life as a friend was better than not having her in your life at all.

So he'd made an effort, meeting her for coffee, bringing her take out for dinner, or going to the movies. It was nice and it reminded him of why they'd grown so close so fast in San Francisco. They were like two sides of the same coin and complemented each other in every way.

After Adam Trent he knew that he could no longer stay silent on his feelings. He might indeed be too late but he had to tell her how he really felt. He couldn't risk the chance of not telling her and then some lunatic making sure he never got the opportunity. So he'd shown up at her place unannounced with a bag of Chinese takeout. He could tell by looking into her eyes that she was not ok and that her brave face was all an act.

He put the takeout bag down on her counter and turned back around. He opened his arms and in a voice barely above a whisper he said, "Honey come here." She collapsed in his arms sobbing. He kept rubbing soothing circles on her back as he held her, repeating over and over again that she was ok, she was safe and that she would always be because he was there and he was never leaving.

After her sobs slowed he pulled back to look into her eyes.

"I mean it, Sara. I'm here to stay, if you still want me," he said sheepishly.

Sara looked at him for a long time, never speaking. This man still wanted to be with her? She disclosed her deep dark secret and she was sure that it would have had him running for the hills but instead he'd made steps to rekindle their friendship. Then she'd gotten herself taken hostage and subsequently fallen apart with this last case showing just how deep the scars from her dark secret ran. She was sure if anything would cause him to run it would be this and had been worried about little else in the hours since she got home. Never before had anyone wanted her once they knew she was damaged goods.

Sara was feeling overwhelmed and headed to the living room to sit on the couch, needing a moment to collect her thoughts. Gil however had taken this as a sign that he was indeed too late and tried not to show the utter devastation he was feeling.

"Sara I'm sorry… I never should have… I'm just going to go," he said looking at his feet.

"Go? I thought you said you were here to stay?" she asked, her voice shaky.

His head snapped up at her reply.

"I did, I mean I am. I just thought. Well I mean you didn't say anything so I assumed that I was too late. I would understand if I was."

She motioned for him to join her on the couch and he did. She took a moment before she replied.

"You could never be too late. I said that but really I didn't mean it. It's just are you sure you want to be here? I mean really sure? Because I don't think my heart will survive if you suddenly come to your senses and realize I'm not worth the effort," Sara said nervously, fidgeting, as she stared at the hands folded in her lap.

Gil's heart nearly broke at her words. Why in the world would she think she wasn't worth the effort?

"Sara. You are more than worth it. Sara, you are the most brilliant and beautiful woman I have ever met. God Sara how can you possibly think you're not worth it? You're extraordinary."

"After I went into foster care I lost control of almost every aspect of my life. There was only one area where I still had control, my grades, so I took it. It wasn't hard to excel. I didn't need to rely on anyone else to get an A, it just came naturally to me. You know my roommate at Harvard was awed that I got in at 16. She said it was a monumental accomplishment and I should be proud. To me an momentumental accomplishment would simply have been being loved by someone. It's been almost 20 years since then and still nothing's changed. Sara Sidle just isn't worth loving. My own parents didn't love me. If I wasn't even worth my parents' love, why would I be worth anyone else's?"

Gil took her hands in his before speaking.

"Sara, honey look at me," he pleaded softly, choking back emotion as he spoke.

He waited till she looked at him before continuing to speak.

"Honey, your roommate was right. It was a monumental accomplishment but I see it for a totally different reason. Sara, how many people do we see in this job who don't make the same choices you did. People who make poor choices and blame it on things they couldn't control. You couldn't control your parents and their choices but you're right you could control your own. You excelled Sara and not just in school but in here," he said pointing to her heart.

"Sara I have never met another living soul like you. You are so compassionate, loving and generous. You once told me that you wished you were like me. You wished you didn't feel anything." Sara hung her head in shame at his words.

"Hey look at me," he said, lifting her chin up.

"Sara, in a way you were right. It's not that I didn't feel anything, it's that I didn't show it to anyone. I was a coward. I felt things so deeply that it terrified me. Sara my whole life I've been content to be alone because it's easier less heartache that way. When I was younger I used to get excited when someone would show interest in me. However it didn't last long. I soon learned that they either wanted me to change or wanted to see how they could benefit from my knowledge.

Girl's in school didn't want to know me, they wanted to know what was in my head. So I became a ghost. Easier than the rejection I always got once people got to know me. Then I was just the creepy kid with a dead father and deaf mother, who was obsessed with bugs and dead animals. I wasn't exactly homecoming king material.

When I got older I thought things would finally change but they didn't. Women always wanted me to change. Bugs were ok as a hobby but not as a career. No one wanted to date 'the bug guy.' You Sara were so different. You bounced into my lecture with an exuberance I'd never seen before. I'll never forget that first night we went for coffee. You asked me so many questions about myself. You told me you thought what I did was fascinating, that I was fascinating. I had half a mind to turn around to see who you were really talking about.``

Sara laughed at his words.

"Sara, how could I show you how much I'd fallen for you when I knew that you'd soon find out I wasn't worth your time. That I was too old, too much of a hermit. Sara, the women in my past couldn't even hold a candle to you and if I wasn't good enough for them surely I wasn't good enough for a woman as amazing as you."

Sara stared at him, taken aback by his honesty. Before she could say something he continued.

"So it seems we have a slight problem here. You don't think you're worthy of my love and I don't think I'm worthy of yours. Seems we have two choices here, we could go our separate ways or we could choose to agree to disagree and love each other anyway. What do you think?" He asked with a raise of an eyebrow and a smile gracing his face.

Sara had given him the most beautiful smile he'd ever seen as she threw her arms around him kissing him soundly.

"So it's a deal then? Do we agree to disagree?" Gil said with a twinkle in his eye as he extended his hand for her to shake it.

"It's a deal," she said, shaking his hand. Before she knew what was happening he pulled her into his arms spinning her around while she giggled, the sound was absolute music to his ears. In that moment, he was never more grateful that the surgery for his hearing loss had been a success.

… Wait on me boy (Wait on me girl)

I Want You To Cry in the night if it helps (yeah)

But more than ever I simply love you

More than I love life itself

They had been dating for a few weeks choosing to take things slow when Nick had been abducted. While they had started off by taking things slow, after his abduction and subsequent rescue they realized how short life was and how much time they'd (or more specifically, he'd) wasted. Since then, they'd entered what you might call the honeymoon phase of their relationship.

Gil reflected that it wasn't just sex with Sara. He knew it could never be. He was a firm believer that sex without love was sad. He felt that sex provided the chance for human connection and he'd never had a connection like the one he had with Sara. He'd never been in love before either. With Sara there was a deep level of shared intimacy. He'd been celebit for years without an issue but with Sara everything was different. He was finally totally and truly loved for who he was. For the first time in his life he was able to be himself without worry or embarrassment. To be loved unconditionally was new and a complete turn on. But it was more than that.

There were a thousand little things that kept him smiling each day. His house was never cleaner or more organized and for the first time it felt like a home. It didn't matter what they did while they were there as long as they did it together. His crosswords were now always finished and he was content to simply spend hours on end holding her, feeling her heart beating next to his.

In these moments he felt alive. He laughed when he thought about how particular she was about certain things. His collection of books was vast but arranged in a haphazard way, well at least to Sara. It was now arranged in alphabetical order by title along with the spice rack in his kitchen. His shirts were now all neatly rolled in his drawers instead of being folded (prevents wrinkles she said) and he'd never had so many pairs of matching socks. He did always wonder where the other half of the pairs went?

He'd allowed her to rearrange his life and took joy in watching her do it. Then there was her relationship with Hank and he wondered how the dog had survived pre-Sara. He wouldn't say it had all been smoothing sailing. Like any new couple (especially one made up of two very stubborn and private people) they had their ups and downs, but the ups far outweighed the downs (and there was always great me up sex following the downs).

So when they were not together he took their separation hard. He found it quite ironic that he'd not only spent years alone (by choice) but years pushing Sara away and now all he wanted to do was keep her close. Sara seemed more settled than he and while she did enjoy his company and wanted to spend as much time with him as possible she didn't seem as needy as he felt he was. Sara had of course reassured him that he was not needy and there was no bigger compliment than being wanted. The simple truth was that he realized that he loved Sara more than he loved life itself. Nothing else mattered now.

It was an hour later when he'd decided to finish unloading the dishwasher (a dreaded task) needing something to pass the time until her return. Just as he was finishing he heard her key in the lock and he continued to nonchalantly putter around the kitchen, trying not to give away his excitement at her arrival.

"Hey babe," she said as she headed to the fridge for a glass of water.

"Hi honey. How was the rest of your shift?"

"Uneventful. I'm just happy to be home," she said as she downed her glass of water.

"Me too," he replied.

"Really? How happy are you to see me?" she asked with a mischievous gleam in her eyes.

He walked over pinning her between himself and the kitchen counter.

"Immensely," he said huskily as he sat her on the counter and stood between her legs.

"I think I may need proof of that," she said breathlessly.

"Your wish is my command my dear," he said before claiming her lips in a passionate kiss.

They were both so caught up in one another that neither of them noticed a very excited Hank standing at Gil's side waiting to say hello to his girl. He whined and nudged Gil's leg but he didn't notice. Hank was getting impatient and decided desperate times called for desperate measures and lifted his leg to pee on Gil's. Gil feeling a warm, wet sensation on his leg pulled back as a "What the hell?" fell from his lips.

Sara looked down and could not contain the fit of giggles that overtook her.

"Sara, this is so not funny. Hank I CANNOT believe you just did that. BAD DOG!"

Sara continued laughing, nearly falling off the counter in the process.

"I don't know, from where I'm sitting, it's pretty funny. Looks like someone was a little jealous and looking to get my attention. Was that it boy? Did you want a little lovin' too?" she said as she lovingly scratched the dog behind his ears.

"Listen Hank, I saw her first ok?"

This comment brought another fit of giggles from Sara and soon Gil was laughing along with her.

"Well after the shift I had I could realize a nice soak in the tub," Sara said as she started to leave the kitchen. She turned back around one more time before saying,

"You know if you're quick in cleaning this up I might even let you help me wash up."

Gilbert Grissom had never cleaned his kitchen so fast.

…Laughing like children

Living like lovers, living like lovers

… And I guess that's why they call it the blues

And I guess that's why they call it the blues

…Laughing like children

Living like lovers, living like lovers

… And I guess that's why they call it the blues

And I guess that's why they call it the blues

A/N: Elton John says he loves this song because it was just so much fun to sing and subsequently this chapter was a lot fun to write:) So thank you Elton for inspiration!

Oh and the stealing of underwear is something my old dog did all the time! It made me laugh but had me worried until the vet said it's perfectly normal for some dogs.