April Fools: JAWS! Part 1
Harry, Ron, Hermione, and the Earth Defenders take on JAWS
Which juicy human will the shark take next…?
SPOILER WARNING FOR HARRY POTTER AND THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS AND JAWS THE MOVIE
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY FORM OF MEDIA BELOW EXCEPT FOR THE STORY, THEY EACH BELONG TO THEIR RESPECTIVE OWNERS! INSPIRED BY WINGS OF FIRE JAWS MAP ON YOUTUBE!
GOJI WOULDN'T BE AS LARGE AS JAWS, THOUGH
REMEMBER: THIS IS ONLY AN APRIL FOOLS DY SPECIAL, PLEASE DO NOT TAKE ANY OF THIS SERIOUSLY, IT IS NOT CANON! DON'T BE IRRITATED IF YOUR FAVOURITE CHARACTER(S) DIE(S), JUST TAKE EVERYTHING HERE AS A GRAIN OF SALT. ALSO, THIS TAKES PLACE DURING HARRY'S SECOND YEAR, AKA CHAMBER OF SECRETS.
JAWS – Lemon Demon, YouTube
Quote of the day (Men in Black, Agent K): A person is smart. People are stupid.
Sunshine, lotion, fun in the sun.
It is summer again, and the Golden Trio decide to take a vacation to Amity Island.
The Dursleys are more than overjoyed to have their annoyingly obtrusive family member out of the house that they even opted to buy two rooms in a five-star hotel, one for Hermione and one for Ron and Harry.
So that's why, on the bright, optimistic, cheerful morning of Fourth of July Harry Potter and his friends can be found lying on the sunny beach.
The emerald clear waves washed over golden sand, and the sea breeze that carried gulls breathed salt onto everyone who decided to take a deep breath.
On the very left of the beach a noxiously bright umbrella was erected on the sand, hiding a lanky boy and a bushy-haired girl.
"Honestly, Ron! As long as you do not eat it, you will be fine!" Hermione almost screamed with frustration.
Her friend, Ron Weasley, was still staring apprehensively at the bottle of sunscreen.
"It prickles my skin. How am I supposed to know it isn't trying to digest me?"
"Ron, it's a lotion used by Muggles. Look at that mother and her daughter. Or at that family over there. They're all using it."
But the red-haired boy still refused to cover himself with the protection solution.
Meanwhile, dashing around the beach and hiding in every place he could find, Harry was desperate to rid himself of Colin Creevey.
As Hermione went to dig in her bag for something to calm Ron down, he spoke.
"Look, 'Ermione, I think I'll just go and help Harry get rid of that Creevey twerp. See you later!"
"Ron? RON! Ugh." Deeply annoyed, she trudged off to find the rest of the Weasley family, which was not far from here, just in case they had a 'Muggle emergency'.
Down by the water, Fred and George Weasley were playing a very sophisticated game of 'Squelch' – burying each other in sand completely and wait for some poor person to fall into their bait.
"This sure is fun, right Fred? One second they'll think of stepping into cool water – only to find the pair of us bobbing out like two fat, red maggots."
Ginny Weasley was talking with some boys of her age, and asking them about a volleyball.
It seemed so that everybody was happily engorged in their own doing. Ron finally discovered Harry ducking beneath a crack in the rock, frantically gesturing him to be quiet, even though it was already too late.
Colin Creevey had caught up and finally got the picture he needed, and proceeded to force Harry to give him an autograph. Ron peeled his eyes away from the scene and looked at the sea instead. It was still normal, parents chasing their children, teenagers having fun with each other, Fred and George scaring the living hell out of a balding man in his 50's...
It was at that moment Ron spotted something far off in the ocean. He squinted, and his eyebrows shot up in horror.
"Uhh, Harry?"
"What, Ron?" Growled Potter as he attempted to cover up his eyes from the blinding flashes of Colin's camera.
"You know that time you guys told me about this thing called 'Megalodon'?"
"Yeah?"
"Well, isn't that thing too big to be one?" He pointed at the rapidly approaching fin.
Harry whipped around, expecting to catch sight of the gigantic being, but the fin vanished as soon as it appeared.
"Ron this isn't funny! Giant sharks are no laughing matter."
"I swear, it was right there a second ago!"
Disappointed, Ron made to tear Colin away from his best friend.
"Geroff him, you brat. Get...off-"
"BLOOD! BLOOD IN THE OCEAN! EVERYBODY RUN!" A sudden scream echoed through the beach.
It was an epic moment: the man whom the Weasley twins frightened was throwing his arms about like windmills in a hurricane; people nearest to the water's edge were crying and shouting; a woman shook her sunbathing husband awake, who jerked up angrily and fainted immediately at the sight of the churning, blood red waves.
Hermione tore open the Weasley's tent zipper and made a dash towards her friends. She grabbed the back of Harry and Ron's necks and yanked them until they started running, too. Colin was frozen in fear, his mouth wide open in a comical "O". Hermione had to rescue him, too.
Mr. Weasley came charging out and lifted Ron with a levitation spell (although by the ankles), and hoisted Harry on his shoulder, all the while yelling at his wife to prepare to Disapparate with the kids.
"Don't you worry, Molly! These poor Muggles will be safe! I'll stop that shark in seconds!" He pushed the two boys he was carrying behind Molly Weasley and dashed away again.
"Arthur, don't be stupid! Don't you forget when – Arthur, NO!"
But it was too late: the shark was much too big for one shrinking spell, and Molly could only watch as her husband was eaten alive, along with everyone else unlucky enough to be within 300 meters of the giant shark.
"ARTHUR!"
"DAD!"
"MR. WEASLEY!"
But at that moment, an even bigger shape loomed over the beach.
A gigantic column of the brightest blue appeared right above the huge shark's body.
It sliced downwards, cutting, or rather burning, the shark's fin and badly singed its back.
If the look on its face when it got attacked was venomous, Godzilla was even angrier.
With a long and ear-splitting "SKKRREeeeEEEOOONNK" he leaped on top of the shark, scratching and biting before getting violently thrown off.
Jagged rocks were crushed as they took Goji's weight, and bits of his dorsal fins launched off as glowing blue shards.
His opponent took this chance to flip out of the water, stretching its jaws wide enough to swallow, but Godzilla was faster. He turned around like a cat and used his powerful tail to wack the shark's head sideways, completely disorientating it.
A jagged object flew like a projectile straight toward a horrified Mrs. Weasley who has just rounded up the few people left alive around her (including the now unconscious ones), and is preparing to Disapparate.
But before she could react, the tooth that was about a foot from her face was struck out of the way.
A brilliant light shone from above as the beautiful moth goddess hailed from the heavens. It was she who unleashed a light barrier to protect Mrs. Weasley from danger, but not only because of the close bond she had with the Weasley family.
Mothra let out a cry of fury and dive-bombed at the shark as Godzilla lashed out his front claws, his cat-like snout curling up in aggression and disgust.
The Queen of the Monsters soared upwards once again, stretching her wings to their full extent, and spat a mouthful of silk, ensnaring and entangling the shark's wide-open maw.
A giant splash occurred, and Godzilla disappeared beneath the churning waters. He continuously swam in a half-circle around his wildly thrashing foe, and went under, out of sight.
Seconds later he resurfaced, and it was only for Mothra's quick reaction did the humans survive a fully charged Nuclear Pulse. Shielding them with her magnificent wings, she yet again endured a sense of terrible burning, not unlike being hit by a solar flare.
Quickly lifting, Mothra dove headfirst into combat again, before summoning the Shobijin to aid Molly Weasley with Disapperating any living human they could find.
However, what the divine moth and her fairies did not know was the three kids safely hidden inside a cave on the opposite side of the beach.
"Ronald – Weasley – you – complete – baffoon!"
Hermione repeatedly hit Ron over the head with her fist.
"What – in - the – whole – wide – world – made – you – think - touching – an – unknown – object – was – a – good – idea!"
"H-hold on, Hermione. Look, this beach is in danger, and we, yes we, can probably help save it-" Harry began.
"There are approximately 1,010,300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly express how much I want to hit you with a chair!"
"Hermione!"
Finally, the bushy-haired girl whipped around to glare at Harry.
Taken aback, he managed to muster, "Look, we're not trying to save the entire world, but a beach! We're helping people!"
Before Hermione could express her feelings of swinging a rock onto Harry's face a pained roar outside made them all stiffen.
Slowly turning around to face the outside of the cave, Hermione saw only the enormous form of Godzilla crashing down upon them before she screamed, cowering, and waited for it all to end...
To be continued...