Thankfully it has not taken 6 months. In fact, Tony regained the equilibrium, or at least returned to his own baseline, so quickly that Nicola started to question the validity of her own assessment. The thought that there was something missing to her formulation was playing on her mind and she decided that she had to go back to the drawing board before making any further suggestions regarding future management. She flicked to her diary and identified a free afternoon to schedule a home visit before picking up the phone. She used to find it unnerving to communicate with Jarvis. Should she think about him as a call centre employee or a highly complicated and annoying microwave? The more they talked the more he considered Jarvis a person and that was potentially more unnerving.
Nicola asked Tony multiple times if they could find a place in the tower to hold their sessions away from his workshop to minimize distractions, but it never happened. She has given in eventually and accepted that this was yet another aspect of this highly unusual arrangement that she would have to learn to tolerate if she wanted to have any chance of doing some meaningful work. Some people just need to be met on their terms. She made her way down in the elevator to find Tony flicking through some complex schematics on the screen in an absent-minded fashion. He closed the application as soon as he has seen her enter.
"How are you getting on?" Nicola decided to start with some social pleasantries to buy herself some time before figuring out how ask the more pertinent questions.
"Baner put me on a regimen of green tea and meditation with a generous serving of beta blockers. It seems to have helped to reduce the frequency of cardiac episodes but apparently, I am still heading for heart failure if we don't correct the underlying issue. In the meantime, the idea of allowing cardiothoracic surgeon anywhere near me still sends me loopy. So, we are pretty much where we started." Tony looked at her wearily. "Any new suggestion?"
"Well, there is actually something I wanted to talk to you about. I keep asking you this question in various guises and the answer is always no but when I am trying to understand what is going on here it always makes me wonder of a possibility …"
Tony stood up abruptly and interrupted her. "Look, I know that I have rather poor track record in self-care and what not. I have been honest with you about all the things that I have dabbed in over the years. I am not completely insane, forgive the pun, I am not going to be doing drugs whilst my ticker is on the verge of giving out."
Nicola looked at him and tiled her head to the side in that annoying way that healthcare professionals tend to adopt whilst they are about to deliver some kind of a bombshell. "It is not what I am getting at".
Tony quickly gone through a mental inventory of questions that Nicola asked him repeatedly. Was there anything that he evaded. Anything that would play on her mind and arise suspicion. Of course, well he has read her track record. It was probably naïve of him, or maybe even arrogant to think that someone whose life's work revolved around childhood trauma was not going to figure it out eventually.
"Oh…" That was all that he had to say in that moment. He felt lightheaded. Was it because he jumped to his feet well to quickly or was he about to have another episode? His vision wasn't greying out but instead he has seen red, literally and metaphorically.
"Sir, your blood pressure is uncharacteristically high" Jarvis started to raise alarm.
"Shut it!" Tony was angry and upset. He suddenly felt cornered, and the fight or flight response was in full swing.
Nicola was seriously questioning all her recent life choices in that moment. Why did she decided to take on this case and get off the bitten track. She has led them both to this point. The situation began to unfold at the speed she has not predicted.
"Tony, it's OK. We don't have to talk about it"
"There is nothing to talk about!" He quipped. They both knew this was completely untrue but denying the issue was so deeply engrained that the response rolled of his tongue in a completely automatic fashion. His logical brain was going offline, and he could feel himself completely loosing it.
"I am not one of your children! You don't know, you don't understand. You can't. I can't. I just can't. I am not a child, do you hear me. None can hurt me like that. Not anymore!" The words were just flowing out of his mouth. Disjointed. Out of control.
"If we are going to go there, if we must open this door we may as well not bother with any of this." Tony waved his hands frantically as he rambled. He started to bring his hands to his chest. Nicola was fully expecting him to have another episode of a cardiac arrythmia any second now but what happened next had her completely of guard. Tony took his T-shirt off and in one smooth motion removed the arch reactor. As if that was not bad enough, he has thrown the device across the room. Within seconds he went from pale to grey and collapsed to the floor.
"Shit, what the fuck". For a brief second Nicola lost her cool and professionalism before her brain kicked into gear and activated the automatic mode for medical emergencies that all doctors seem to be equipped with as standard.
"Jarvis, get Banner in here right now." Nicola rushed across the room to pick up the arch reactor. She did not need to have extensive engineering knowledge to know that device was malfunctioning. "I do hope you guys have spares". She moved quickly to Tony. He was still conscious but barely. She struggled to find his carotid pulse. Jarvis has helpfully provided her with an ECG. Complete heart block. All the was keeping Tony's heart going was so called escape rhythm. Without the artificial peacemaker his heart was going at a rate of about 30 beats per minute. Not enough to sustain him for very long. He was looking at her with wide eyes and struggling to control his breathing, clearly in pain.
"I don' know what came over me" he muttered. " I don't…" He was slurring his words and becoming clearly confused. His brain wasn't getting enough blood.
"It's OK. We will figure this out". Nicola was trying to sound reassuring whilst she frantically considered her options. It has fully downed on her just how damaged Tony's heart really was. There was no point to try getting things going with atropine. His heart just did not have the capacity to respond. Pacing was the only option. Thankfully in that moment Dummy delivered the spare reactor into her hands. She started to fumble around trying to install it, at that point Tony was in no position to offer her any advice or assistance, when Bruce rushed in.
"What the hell is going on here?" Bruce gently pushed Nicola to one side and confidently replaced the arch reactor. Tony took a deep breath and within seconds his colour started to return to normal. He sat up slightly dazed and continued to stare at Nicola.
"Tony, are you going to explain this to me. Jarvis told me that you have removed your arch reactor. What were you thinking? You do realize how unstable things are. You can't be tinkering and randomly changing your devices. What has happened to this one!? Bruce caught the glimpse of the broken reactor sitting on the desk.
"Bruce, now is not the time". Nicola interrupted and shifted her gaze to Tony. Bruce followed and was taken aback by Tony's facial expression that spelt pure dread.
"Tony, this is what is going to happen." Nicola moved away slowly with her hands held in a way that was supposed to communicate minimal threat. "I'm going to leave now. Bruce will check you over and make sure your ticker is alright. He will not be asking any questions and once he is happy that you are physically stable, he will also leave you alone. Jarvis can keep an eye on you".
"Of course". Jarvis sounded calm and reassuring as always.
"Dr Banner, is this clear? No questions and I mean it". Nicola looked at Bruce who nodded in affirmation to her deadly serious tone.