A/N: Quotes in italics from S2 Revelations.
"The initial journey towards sobriety is a delicate balance between insight into one's desire for escape and abstinence from one's addiction."
Debra L. Kaplan
He wakes with a scream, raw and unrefined. The sheets are damp against his skin as he grapples for the lamp beside his bed. Blinking he stares down at the sheets and splutters with relief.
No blood.
No leaves.
No dead girls.
The heel of his palms against his eyes, smearing the tears and nightmare into nothingness.
Reid presses gentle fingertips against his skin, examining his body. One brushes over the puckered marks left by the needle.
He pauses.
It would slow his heart rate.
Stop the frantic fear from clawing at his insides.
Tobias Hankel swims before his eyes.
His breath quivers.
"No, please I don't want it."
He blinks and the barn disappears.
Tilts himself backwards, the mattress firm beneath him and stares at the ceiling.
"It helps."
Reid screws his eyes tight, digs his nails into the flesh of his arm.
There's a gnawing ache in the pit of his stomach.
A hunger.
"I don't want it."
His fingers twitch.
A skittish, anxious beat across sweat-glazed skin.
He finds the vein and knows; it'll bring momentary freedom.
"Trust me."
He heaves but there's no food to bring up.
Just caffeine, Dilaudid and disgust.