Mysterious Ways
by Chaos Orchid ← Ron Dow75
Akane was mad, "Leave it to you, Ranma, to get us separated from the rest of the class! Now we have to walk home from the field trip! And it's kilometers! "
This was a low-rent commercial street, and there weren't any walls for the pigtailed girl to walk on, "You didn't have to follow me! In fact , it was stupid! What could you do to save a drownin' man? You can't swim!"
"I know how to swim! A bit. I've had a few lessons after my time with Miss Hinako. And don't change the subject! You did need me: That so -called drowning man you were swept down river with wouldn't stop groping you!" But now they were near the slow moving river and older levee that the smaller one through Nerima connected to.
"I've dealt with gropers before! I-" Suddenly a shadow rushing past on the ground caught Ranma's girl-keen eyes.
Without saying a word to Akane, the redhead bounded across the street and used the windows of a building to reach its roof, two-stories at a time.
Akane at last saw what Ranma had seen: A large, dark, monstrous form she knew all too well. "Pantyhose Taro!"
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Ranma ran across, and leaped rooftops, keeping pace with the flying patchwork as best she could. "Pantyhose Taro! I haven't seen the arrogant jerk since he came back to splash Happosai with water from one of Jūsenkyo's accursed springs." The part yeti, part bull, part crane, part eel, part octopus-and who knew what else he'd added!-slowed down. It was like the jerk freak was looking for something.
Happosai? "Geez! I knew it! The idiot IS carrying a jug of something clear like water! Didn't he learn nothing from last time!?"
When she approached the end of the three-story gym roof, she saw that next wasn't another building, but a street then a parking lot. She would've preferred to just see what Pantyhose Taro was up to. But if he got away, she might not find out until it was too late. She jumped! "I hope he hasn't added anything else to his personal zoo of weapons!"
She just managed to snag one of the monster's hooves!
Looking down, it took a second for the creature to recognize who would dare touch this form. Snorting contemptuously, it brought its other hoof towards the redhead in Chinese clothes.
But Ranma let go of one leg to reach out and got up on its other. "Land, Pantyhose Taro, and we can talk! I mean, after we find some hot water." Like every cursed animal form she'd met, he couldn't talk when he wasn't human.
The beast's answer was to bring its slippery eel tail down towards the pigtailed girl. Its mouth open.
Ranma swung her legs away from it, around to the creature's downside. She used the knee of its other leg to push herself up its torso. Using her speed, she quickly clambered along it by hugging its body and clutching the tufts of its thick, dark brown hair. "Pantyhose Taro, maybe I can help you!" But the bullheaded creature, literally and figuratively, wouldn't listen. It wrapped one of the tentacles that grew from its back around the girl who insulted it by repeating that mockery of a name.
But Ranma was taken close enough by its bull horns to grab on. She held on with all her strength. If she let go, she had little doubt the creep would throw her to the ground.
But it was no good: Its octopus had the strength of the rest of the patchwork monster. Ranma lost one handhold. But remembering the most basic, and dirtiest, of martial arts moves, she used that freed hand grab one of its bull-ears.
The beast bellowed, and reared back, its tentacle constricting Ranma. When Ranma applied the same pressure to the ear, it reacted by swinging right yeti-fist at the small girl.
Ranma focused the might of her small fists at just the right nerve points between the massive knuckles. It blunted the blow. But reflexively, it caused it to open the hand.
The twine loop of the net that held the jug of water was released.
Noticing the movement, and remembering why she had gotten involved in the first place, Ranma snagged it between her feet. "Let me go, or it gets broken!"
The callow youth inside took few people seriously. It grabbed backed the jug as its tentacle yanked Ranma away.
Ranma held on. But the yeti-bull was stronger. Soon all that Ranma had in her bare feet was the cork. The cork came out! The monster reacted by letting go of Ranma to get away from being splashed. Whatever was inside was something the freak didn't want added to its mix!
Ranma fell with the rain of cursed water. Thinking that saving the jug may give her something to bargain with, she cradled it in her arms. But she knew she had been cursed again. Something was growing between her shoulder blades.
And strained against her sleeveless shirt. "Am I getting octopus arms like it!?" Pantyhose Taro had given himself those! He liked being a freak!
Whatever they were, they were trying to bust out of the back of her shirt!
R-RIP! And then they had!
Still adjusting to her new form, Ranma somehow landed softly on her feet in another parking lot.
The monster came down. A tentacle snaked out and took back the jug from the dazed Ranma. Satisfied that there was enough of the cursed water left in it for its purposes, it turned its back on the freakish redhead. But before it left, it made sure it hit her hard with its wings before it flapped away.
Ranma automatically rolled, before falling to her hands and knees onto the pavement.
After that the only sound out of the ordinary in this isolated industrial area was the sound of a passing guy reciting, "One, two! Left, right! Welter, Weight! Junior, Light! " It was while Ranma was recovering from the shock and her change that the jogger discovered her. "Wow! I recognize what she is! I saw people like her in Sister's books!" The muscular nineteen-year-old in red sweats ran up to Ranma. He helped her up. Smiling, the well-built guy with the brown hair that was less shaggy than hers said, "You're my angel of fortune, aren't you?"
Angel? It was only then that it clicked in Ranma's head what had happened to her. Spreading her large, white wings to their fullest extent, she looked over her shoulder.
Though she could feel them, it wasn't until she could see them for herself that she could, at last, be convinced of what had happened had really happened.
The guy said, "Beautiful! I can see why Christians prefer you to our gods. Oh, that's right: Sister!" His mitt still clutching Ranma's smaller hand, he started dragging her after him, "You have to meet Sister Angela!" His arm rose as Ranma's outstretched wings acted as gliders.
Ranma from above cried, "Hold on, fella! I ain't no angel! Let go of me! I have a monster I to catch!"
The idiot didn't stop until there was a tug on his upraised arm. This surprised him. Until he realized, "Of course! You have God-lent powers!"
"I don't! It's these magic swan wings! The punk freak has crane wings, and they can hold up his great weight!" Ranma pulled, lifting the idiot centimeters off the ground. "So with these wings it isn't hard to lift your weight up!"
At least he didn't seem to notice the flashes of the sides of her boobs.
The guy held on even tighter, "Weight! See!? Sister Angela did send for you! I'm Kosaku Hatanaka! You're here to see I stay in my in boxer's weight class! I'm the one you're here to save from the sin of gluttony!"
"I have no idea what you're talkin' about, idiot!" lifting him higher.
The guy "figured out" what the problem was, "I found you on the ground-You're a fallen angel! You lost your memory on your way to Earth!"
"Idiot doesn't even begin to describe this guy." Ranma used a pressure point on the guy's wrist to get him to release her.
The guy landed running, "I won't let you go until you work your miracle! Make a wish come true!" What did the idiot think Ranma was, anyway? An oni? Grab the demon's horns and it has to grant you a wish? She didn't have horns. She had stupid wings!
Because of the magic of the curse, Ranma really didn't have to learn how to fly. But just because she knew how to use her new muscles with the ones she already had, didn't mean she liked it. The whole torso was involved, especially those connected to her breast bone. The only plus side was that it isolated her boobs and other female fat deposits, letting her almost forget about them. The trade off was it made her even more aware of the slimmer muscles and shape of her female form.
The flapping wings further whipping the wind across her bare back, Ranma flew higher. Keeping herself focused on finding that jerk Pantyhose Taro would help her take her mind off of what had happened to her. And how it would effect the rest of her life. It couldn't be normal, in any way.
Beyond the area of concrete buildings was a quiet, middle-class looking residential area with trees. But there was a dark form hovering over it. It was headed for a brick church on the hill. Grabbing air with her finger-like primary feathers, she sped towards it.
The monster had apparently found what it had been after.
"Don't let it be Happosai! He's bad enough as he is !" And he could be in the area on a panty raid. Every woman around the Tendō's knew they had to guard their underwear against the lingerie thief.
But it was a tall man about Ranma's pop's age with dirty, tattered martial arts clothes that revealed his colorful, mobster-style tattoos. If there was a guy who looked like he deserved being punished from above, he was it.
And the monster was willing to do just that. Bellowing to put fear in the guy, it dove at him.
Knowing that he could not escape, the man turned and stood his ground. On one leg. Talk about literal, Ranma thought. She recognized the style of martial arts. The guy was going to use his arms, hands and fingers like a bird used its wings.
"Crane-style, hunh? So that's what decided Pantyhose Taro to use the accursed water he brought to punish him. Geez! Maybe dunkin'' a yeti holdin' a crane holdin' an eel ridin' a bull short-circuited the magic of all those spring. Or maybe the arrogant jerk just destroyed them so only he could be cursed with them. Maybe the swan spring the closest he could get, or did he just screw up again?" No time for that, now. Ranma pulled in her wings and dove.
Aiming between the monster's shoulder blades, she reached out and took its wings. Then, swinging her legs down onto its broad back, she yanked back with all her strength and held them still.
Unable to use its wings, now the monster could no longer fly, despite its magic. It fell.
Ranma held on, judging just when she could let go and use her own wings.
But the monster used its octopus tentacles behind her to grab the nuisance, and throw her to the ground.
Ranma did not land well. She landed on her left wing.
The pain was very real.
The monster roared when it saw that its quarry had used the distraction to get away. It flew after him. The chase continued. The crossdresser would have to be punished for interfering later.
Ranma was on her feet, dealing with the pain, when that Kosaku guy in sweats appeared. He was barely winded from his long run, but he was smelly, "Angel! You're hurt! You have a bent wing!" The guy was right. Her right wing was folded up against her bare back, but her left was wouldn't close. There would be no flying after Pantyhose Taro.
Unfortunately for Ranma, she was looking in the sky for any sign of the monster, leaving her open. Before she knew it, the guy had gotten her smaller body in a fireman's carry around his shoulders. He told he as he started running with her, "I'll take you to Sister Angela! She knows all about angels!"
"You big oaf, put me down!"
"What kind of a Good Samaritan would I be then?"
"I don't need your help! You're lettin' the other jerk get away!" It was no use. The idiot was bound and determined to do a good deed for an angel, or some such stupid logic. An ANGEL: Of course! "I'm an angel, right?
You gotta do as I say, right?"
He thought about it as he entered the brick gate of "Saint Maria Kindergarten". Then he said, "You're a fallen angel. Sister says we shouldn't believe fallen angels."
Ranma groaned. She could break free of this big lummox, but his intentions were good. She didn't like hurting people unless they seemed to deserve it. "If your sister says its okay, you'll let me go?"
As he headed for the blacktop playground, the guy said, "Of course! I always try to do what Sister says."
Now Ranma got it: She, as an angel, was a prize he was going to show to his big sister . Well, she hoped the girl had more sense than her brother.
Instead of going into one of the one-story buildings with the classrooms, the guy took her into the small cafeteria. It was the first place that had come to his mind. Only when he got there did he realize that perhaps a table wasn't the best place to lay an injured angel or person. He took Ranma from around his shoulders and sat her on one of the benches, "I'll go get-"
A woman said, "Kosaku!"
The guy smiled, "Sister!" Ranma recognized that look on the guy's face. Enough guys had given it to her. The guy had a crush on the woman. He had it bad. That was why he didn't pay any attention to Ranma's partially exposed breasts.
Ranma pulled her shirt back, trying to keep covered up as best she could.
Only then did Ranma look at the woman. Ranma didn't know much about Christians, but she knew a nun when she saw one. This one was dressed mainly in sky blue with white around her face and a white bib. Besides her face, only her hands and the legs just above her high button shoes showed.
Briefly, Ranma wondered if the idiot knew something she didn't know. Do nuns date?
The cute nun, who looked maybe 21, said, "Kosaku, what is this?" She didn't sound like she was certain whether she was going to believe Ranma was what she looked like.
Kosaku said, "An ANGEL, Sister! A fallen angel!"
Ranma got up, "I ain't no angel. And I didn't fall. I was thrown outa the air."
Sister Angela approached, "Tho, those wings aren't real?"
This was it; this was the first of many, many times Ranma would have to answer that question. "Aw, geez, I wish I had something cleaver I could tell you. The truth is that these are just swan's wings."
The problem with having living wings, they couldn't stay still. They just had to move, if just to twitch. The nun was tempted to reach out and touch them, "I see."
Kosaku said, "Sister, you do have angel clothes?" Maybe he did notice how exposed her breasts were.
Sister Angela noticed, "Your shirt is ripped. Perhaps one of the ladies that work here can sew it up for you. Uh, with holes for the wings, of course."
Ranma assured her, "That's alright. I have to get movin'. I have to catch, uh, something."
Kosaku told her, "Satan! The angel was battling the devil! I saw it myself!"
Now the nun was really becoming skeptical. "The Devil?"
Kosaku went through the descriptive motions: "He was huge, with horns! He had a wings, a long tail-and hooves!"
Ranma said, "Gee, the monster form does sound like Satan." She had certainly called it a demon when she first saw it. But she assured them, "It's just a yeti mixed up with a bull, and a crane...and an eel. Uh, and an octopus has been added recently."
The nun looked at her for a moment. "You expect me to believe that?"
Ranma sighed, "If he hadn't been hit me over the head, I wouldn't believe it either."
Kosaku said, "See, Sister? The angel is testing our faith."
Sister Angela sighed, "Believing the thing you described, Kosaku, is the Devil is easier to believe than a yeti-bull-crane, uh, and the rest."
Ranma had to concede, "Yeah. It does sound stupid." And it'd sound even more stupid if she told them it's name was "Pantyhose Taro". "Unfortunately, the mind inside isn't. I have to find him!"
But the nun wouldn't let her pass, "What kind of Sister of Mercy would I be, if I let you leave in your condition? You're injured. At least let us tend to your wound." Her blush told Ranma she was also uncomfortable with the redhead's indecency.
Ranma told her, "That's okay. I'm a fast healer!"
Kosaku wouldn't let his favorite nun be denied; putting a heavy hand on Ranma's shoulder, he said, "Sister knows what to do. Ever since God led me to her, she's been coming to the gym and boxing matches. She's seen how they match me up!" Yes, he did have more than his share of small scars, nicks and bruises.
Ranma inside cursed them for being good-hearted people.
It was a weakness. She let them lead her to the infirmary.
Besides, she had no idea HOW she was going to catch up with Pantyhose Taro.
Luckily, the few people they met along the way merely stopped to stare for a moment or three. Ranma didn't understand Christians, let alone Catholics. She didn't know she was considered a vision, and was helping Sister Angela on her road to sainthood. And the nun, being naturally modest, didn't comprehend that herself.
(Of course, they did wonder what an angel was dressed in torn Chinese clothes was doing Japan. And was it proper for a divine being to be exposed like that?)
In the small infirmary, mainly used to isolate children who may be contagious, Sister Angela bandaged Ranma's sore wing, "Since you seem to be going on a...dangerous mission, perhaps you'd like unburden yourself by confessing your sins first."
Kosaku was confused, "Do angels sin?"
Sister Angela said, "I'm pretty sure this one has." Then smiling to Ranma, she said, "Only God is perfect. There are confessional booths in the church, for privacy. If you'd like I could hear yours there."
While Ranma was fixing her shirt with tape and pins, she asked, "Nuns can hear confession?"
The sister blushed, "Well, we're a small parish, and don't have a resident priest. And though I'm not a full nun, but a novice, I have attended confessions. Among other things."
Kosaku, apparently even more ignorant of things Catholic than even Ranma despite nearly a year of exposure, said, "Sister Angela told me once it was a Takahashi. It's just like how I can get away with breaking the rules of boxing. Everything is overlooked and forgiven, as long as it's a Takahashi!"
Ranma didn't understand.
That was when one of the civilian ladies, a mother-type, slammed open the door, "Sister! Sister Angela! The baptismal font in the church has been stolen!"
The sister asked, urgently, "Do you have any idea who could have done it?!"
"Fujita is calling the police. But I remember seeing a tall stranger with tattoos in the church!"
Ranma cried, "Tattoos! It sounds like the guy Pantyhose Taro was after!"
All three of the others looked at her strangely. Ranma held up a hand, "It's too complicated to explain."
Sister Angela, heading for the church, said to the woman, "Since the mother abbess is still out of town with most of the other sisters, I guess I have to be in charge until we can find a senpai. Is there anything else you can tell me, Sakai?"
The woman hesitated, then said, "Well, uh, he did take the font from its place, but, uh... He left something behind."
Ranma said, "A clue!" She wasn't really very good at playing detective, but since she had no idea how to find Pantyhose Taro now that she was grounded, she had to try being one.
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Ranma followed the young nun to just inside the exotic place called a church. What they wanted was at the entrance. To her it was like one of those fancy flower containers people hung on the wall. This one had was a half bowl with a bas relief of a robed woman with angel wings. (It would!)
A couple of old ladies screamed when they saw Ranma in her wings and fell to their knees in the aisle, crossed themselves and prayed. Ranma had to ask herself if this was what she had to look forward to.
Ranma hurried to assure them, when she slipped on a piece of paper.
Her wings automatically worked to keep her from falling.
The bandaged one couldn't help, and the right wing only banged up against a backs of a bench and caught under the desk in front of it.
Twisting it out, she landed on the wings. Now she was worse off than before. The right wing was now too sore to be of any use as well.
The piece of paper that had done brought her low fluttered down onto her.
Sister Angela walked swiftly to her, "Are you alright? Do I need to bandage the other-"
Ranma held up her hands, "No! I can get up by myself!"
Sister Angela had stopped when she saw that something unusual was written on the paper. Picking it up, she read the handwritten note, " "Dear representatives of the Holy Father, as an act of penance for my many crimes and sins, I give the Church this holy water font. Please see that it is given to the nearest cathedral. I would have done it myself, but I am currently being chased by Satan, and had to lighten my burden.
" "When I was a child I heard of a wondrous font that missionaries to the Chinese had carved from local stone found in the Quanjing Mountains."
Ranma cried, "The Quanjing Mountains! That's where Pantyhose Taro's village is." Not to mention a certain accursed training ground.
" "At great risk and sacrifice I managed to retrieve the font from the village which had claimed it after the church was closed when religion was outlawed in China..."
Ranma said, "And he managed to get it all the way back around here before Pantyhose Taro caught up with him. Yours was the nearest church, so he put it here and lead the monster away from it." Maybe she did have some detective ability.
(The smallest old lady asked, "Does all that mean pantyhose were created by the Devil?"
(The other said, "I've often suspected that.")
While this was going on, Kosaku got thirsty. Sister Angela cried, "Kosaku, holy water is not for drinking !"
Too late, he'd ladled out some with his hands. Then she realized, "Did the repentant man pour the water from the old font he's hidden?"
Smiling sheepishly, the big lug said, "I'm sorry, Sister, I forgot!" He returned as much of the water as he could. "I won't be condemned for blasphemy , or anything?"
Ranma said, "If it's got anything to do with Jūsenkyo-
" She stopped when she realized that something had happened to the guy.
Sister Angela stepped up to the boxer and examined his face, "Your bruises and swellings have gone away." She crossed herself, "The font is a wonder! It adds strength to the holy water!"
Ranma had a different interpretation, "Jūsenkyo is in a mountain valley: It's on high ground. It's full of springs , not ponds. The water isn't stored. It's replaced. And the extra water had to go somewhere . The accursed water should seep down and effect the animals and people in the land below. But it doesn't : The surrounding rock has to change the its ability to curse." It made sense to her. But she had to wonder whether, "Does it do more than neutralize? Can it reverse a curse?" Perhaps, because of its reaction with the blessed water?
...A simpler explanation for what happened at Jūsenkyo was that the water leaving the valley was too dispersed to have any effect. "No," Ranma shook her head. "Water will collect where it can. Some Jūsenkyo water would trickle out."
She at last noticed that the strange porous material of the font allowed the water inside to wet the outside, but kept it from leaking. She reasoned it slowed the water down until enough had collected behind it, and would then let it flow.
"...And combining different spring water will not neutralize it. Pantyhose Taro proved that when he cursed his already cursed form from that "Spring of Drowned Octopus"." Maybe she could be a detective. Maybe...
She moved towards the font, "...And as I proved that when water from "Spring of Drowned Swan" got splashed on my cursed form..." She hesitated only for a second. How many times had she thought she'd found a cure. But she wouldn't know unless she tried. She dipped her hands in the holy water.
As she reached around to wet her wings, she found that they had already disappeared.
Sister Angela smiled, "It's a miracle!"
Kosaku and the old ladies were confused. "I thought we are supposed to want to get our wings, Sister?"
As happy as Ranma was to be rid of the wings, she was saddened that it hadn't cured her of her older curse. She was still a girl. (Just as Kosaku still had his old scars and nicks.) But there WAS one last bit of hope: "Sister, can I have some hot water? And then some cold?"
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No, Ranma still changed into a girl. His only consolation was that he wasn't stuck as one. Hot water still made him a guy...and cold a girl. But he left with a bottle of the magic holy water. Perhaps Dr. Tofu could figure out how to make the stuff worked. Or, for the right price, Cologne. (And if he were desperate enough, perhaps Happosai.)
Out on the porch of the church, Sister Angela offered, "Are you sure I can't loan you a shirt?" The teen now had nothing on above the waist.
Kosaku said, "You can have MINE. If you don't mind the sweat."
Ranma said, "Uh, no. Thanks anyway. It's no big deal, as long as I'm a guy." When he became a guy and his neck had thickened, the partially torn collar had finally ripped.
And his widening body took care of the tape and pins. With Nothing to hold up the shirt, he had thrown the shirt away. He was now bare above the waist.
A guy's voice sneered, "And how long will that be, Crossdresser." It was a Chinese-looking man much older than Ranma in a shiny, green, scaled vest and armbands and balloon, silk pants.
Sister Angela hadn't thought of that Ranma might change before he got home. She blushed.
Ranma was prepared for Pantyhose Taro. He smiled as happily as her could, "Look at me, Pantyhose Taro: I'm cured! I don't have wings, and I don't change into a girl any more!" He pointed inside towards the font with his bottle of holy water, "You must never have touched that thing when it had water in it!" He returned his gaze to the boy, "But now it has, and it'll do the same to you." He made his smile as wicked as he could, "You'll be just an ordinary guy."
Kosaku hadn't picked up on the fact that the man liked being able to become a monster, "I'll go get some water for him, Sister!"
The arrogant guy snorted. But he turned and left, his young arrogance dented only by the speed he walked away.
Sister Angela waited until the other stranger was out of sight before she told the pigtailed boy, "It's a sin to tell a lie. But I forgive you."
Ranma asked, "Novice nuns can do that?"
That's when it started to rain.
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Akane stayed a couple of steps behind Ranma; this time, so she would know if the redhead tried to take off on her again. "...when I spotted Pantyhose Taro's monster form flying back to that church on the hill. And that was how I found you."
Ranma had barely been listening. It was over a kilometer, and Akane had said a lot of things. But she hadn't made the comment Ranma was anticipating. It was like waiting for the other shoe to drop. "Okay, say it. Tell me how you've seen me wear all sorts of girl clothes, but you never expected to see me dressed up like a nun." (Including the head coverings.) Yes, Sister Angela had loaned Ranma one of her old habits. (She didn't have civilian clothes.) And since it had rained on and off, Ranma had needed it. "But in case Pantyhose Taro is still around, we had to disguise me so he doesn't see I do still change into a girl."
Akane said, "I understand that. It gives the people at the church time to take the font some place safe from him."
She'd even consented to wearing a disguise herself, a wide brimmed hat and dark glasses with her school uniform. "And why should I care if you look like a nun? In fact, I think it's refreshing to see you in something that modest. Perhaps some of the nun's morality will rub off on you."
Ranma said, "Is that just sneaky way of callin' me a pervert!?" She still had the wine bottle with the water.
" "Pervert"!?" Akane's tone had become suddenly serious, "Ranma! I just thought of something! You told me what happened. You had water splashed on you, and you got wings, just as Pantyhose Taro got an octopus added to HIS cursed form."
Ranma said, "Yeah. So?"
Akane hesitated, but she felt it had to be said, "So what happens when you do return to Jūsenkyo and find the spring of drowned young man? It, uh, doesn't sound like it would turn you into a full man. It sounds like it would instead, uh, well..."
Ranma came to a halt, her face ashen.
The End
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NOTES:
[Please be like Sister Angela and grant me a Takahashi for any mistakes I made. I am not a Catholic, either.]
[Kosaku Hatanaka and Sister Angela were the main character's Rumiko's manga series "One-Pound Gospel". Kosaku was a talented prize fighter that couldn't control his appetite. It lost him fights as he kept failing his weigh-ins, going up in the weight divisions (from Fly-weight to Bantam to Feather, "and up and up". All while looking chiseled.). New to the area, Sister Angela made the mistake of thinking he was one of the needy and feeding him. Just before a big fight. He ended up becoming her personal mission.
[There is a good OAV of "One-Pound Gospel". But I don't think it has been dubbed in English, just subtitled. Nor available on DVD. It is available on YouTube.]
Ichi-Pondo no Fukuin / 1 Pound no Fukuin