It was finally Friday night and Chris couldn't be happier. He and Ezra had barely seen each other the entire week. While Ezra had been preparing for his next undercover assignment, Chris had been caught up either in court testifying or in meetings. Although they'd only been going out for a couple of weeks, he missed seeing Ezra and decided to pay him a surprise visit.
As he quietly let himself into Ezra's condo with the spare key he had, he was greeted by the sound of uproarious laughter coming from the living room. Peeking around the corner, he saw Ezra seated on the couch, completely engrossed in the TV. Chris glanced in the direction of it and saw an old episode of I Love Lucy playing that he recognized as the Vitameatavegamin one.
The soft glow from the TV screen bathed Ezra in a warm, gentle light, adding a subtle radiance to his features. It highlighted the curve of his smile and the sparkle in his eyes. Ezra's laughter was infectious, filling the room with joy as he watched Lucy's attempts to recite the commercial dialogue become more absurd,
His usually composed demeanor was nowhere to be found. Instead, he was completely unguarded, doubled over with laughter, his eyes sparkling with amusement. He wore an oversized sweatshirt and sweatpants, a far cry from his usual tailored attire, and his hair was slightly tousled, as if he had just rolled out of bed.
In his hand, he held a slice of pizza, his fingers covered in grease as he took another bite. He seemed completely lost in the moment, unaware of Chris's presence as he indulged in the simple pleasure of the sitcom and the junk food.
Chris couldn't help but smile at the sight. It was rare to see Ezra so carefree, so completely lost in the moment. It was as if the stresses of the outside world had melted away, leaving behind only pure, unadulterated joy. He felt as if he had stumbled upon a secret world that Ezra kept hidden from everyone else. Sadly, he realized that was exactly what this was.
Taking a moment to collect himself, Chris made his presence known, stepping into the room with a soft chuckle. "Having fun," he asked, his voice filled with amusement.
Ezra's laughter abruptly halted as he whirled around to see Chris standing there, a flush of embarrassment creeping into his cheeks. For a moment, he seemed at a loss for words, his usual eloquence deserting him as he struggled to explain himself. "Chris! I-I didn't hear you come in," he stammered, his cheeks turning even redder as he hastily set aside the pizza slice and grabbed a napkin trying to wipe the grease from his hands.
Chris couldn't help but smile at Ezra's flustered response. It was endearing to see him caught off guard like this, his usual composure momentarily slipping away. "Sorry for barging in unannounced," he said, moving to take a seat beside Ezra on the couch. "This is definitely a new you." He pointed to the pizza box. "You got enough for me?"
Ezra's embarrassment only seemed to deepen at Chris's words. Without a word, he pushed himself up from the couch and walked out of the room, his cheeks burning with embarrassment.
Concern flickered in Chris's eyes as he watched Ezra retreat. "What did I say," he murmured worried that he had said something to upset Ezra. With a sense of determination, he rose from the couch and followed after him, determined to chase away the shadows that haunted his boyfriend's heart.
Finding Ezra in his bedroom, Chris stood in the doorway and witnessed his frantic movements for a few moments – combing his hair, pulling out other clothes in an attempt to transform himself into the person Chris usually saw. His motions were almost manic, revealing the depth of his discomfort at being seen in this vulnerable state.
Realization dawned on Chris as he watched Ezra's frantic actions. He understood now the significance of this moment, the breach of the walls Ezra had meticulously built around himself. He took a few steps into the room, so he was in front of Ezra. With gentle hands still Ezra's movements. "Stop," he said softly. When Ezra tried to pull away, he transferred his grip to his shoulder and gave him a little shake. "Hey, stop it. It's ok."
"No," Ezra said with a wild headshake. He pulled away from Chris and ripped off the sweatshirt. He reached for a white button down he'd put on the bed and started to draw it on. "You're not supposed to see me like this. This isn't…this isn't…"
Chris again tried to still Ezra's movements. "Hey. I don't know what you're trying to do, but I just want you to be yourself," he said softly, his voice filled with warmth and understanding. "You don't have to pretend to be someone else. I like you just the way you are whether that's in one of those Canali suits you like to wear or a..." He reached to pick up the sweatshirt, seeing for the first time what was on it. "Or a Goofy sweatshirt."
"You know what kind of suits I wear," Ezra asked in honest surprise.
"Yeah." Chris was secretly happy that he'd managed to find a way to surprise Ezra. "Personally, I prefer the charcoal gray pinstripe Armani. Especially when you wear it with the purple shirt." He reached out to caress Ezra's cheek. "It really brings out your green eyes and makes them sparkle."
Feeling the weight of Chris's words, Ezra pulled away slightly, he took the sweatshirt form Chris's and held it out. "How can you like this," he murmured, his voice laced with self-doubt. "This isn't what you expect. I... I don't want to disappoint you."
Chris's heart ached at Ezra's words, realizing the depth of his partner's insecurity. With gentle reassurance, he reached out and cupped Ezra's face in his hands, guiding his gaze to meet his own. "Ezra, I like it because you like it. I like it because it makes you happy. I'm here because I want to be with you, not because of what you wear or how you look," Chris said earnestly. "You don't have to change a thing about yourself for me."
Chris's heart sank as Ezra pulled away, his fingers still fidgeting with the fabric of his sweatshirt. "But appearances are everything," Ezra murmured, his voice tinged with resignation, "Mother said."
Chris blew out a quick breath. He'd always known Ezra built careful walls around himself and cultivated the persona the world saw as a way of hiding the hurts he'd been dealt since he was a child. It wasn't until they'd made the decision on taking a chance together that he'd realized just how thick and high those walls were.
Taking a step closer to Ezra, Chris gently reached out to take the sweatshirt. He tossed it on the bed and took his hands in his own, stopping their restless movements. "Ezra," he said softly, his voice filled with determination, "I know you've been hurt in the past and I know you've tried to live up to expectations, but that's not what I want from you. I just want you to be you."
Ezra looked up at Chris, his eyes searching for reassurance. "But what if I'm not enough?" he whispered.
Chris's heart ached at Ezra's words, realizing the depth of his insecurities and knowing the unsaid words were the worry that Chris would abandon him as so many others had. With a gentle smile, he tilted Ezra's chin up to meet his gaze. "Ezra, listen to me," he said firmly, his voice unwavering. "You are more than enough, just as you are. I think you're incredible and I'm not going anywhere."
A flicker of doubt crossed Ezra's features, but Chris pressed on, his voice filled with conviction. "I fell for you because of who you are – your kindness, your intelligence, your sense of humor. None of that has anything to do with what you wear or how you look. It's about the person you are inside."
"You really don't care," Ezra's voice trembled slightly, his eyes searching Chris's face for any hint of insincerity…any sign that once again he'd be abandoned for not being enough.
Chris could sense the weight of Ezra's insecurity, his need for reassurance palpable in the air. With a gentle smile, he reached out and brushed a stray lock of hair away from his forehead, his touch tender and reassuring.
"Ezra, I mean every word," Chris replied, his voice steady and unwavering. "I'm not going anywhere, and I want you to feel comfortable being yourself around me."
Ezra's breath caught in his throat, his eyes searching Chris's face for any sign of insincerity. Finding none, a small, grateful smile tugged at the corners of his lips. He didn't say anything, but the relief in his expression spoke volumes.
Hoping to break the continuing tension, Chris nudged Ezra gently. "Well," he said, feigning seriousness, "If there's not enough pizza for me to get a few slices, I may have to leave and get more. I've got my priorities straight, you know."
Ezra chuckled at Chris's jest, the tension melting away as they shared a moment of laughter.
With their worries put to rest, they returned to the living room, settling in to watch TV and enjoy the rest of the pizza. As they lounged on the couch, the warmth of the moment enveloped them, easing away the last traces of tension.
Slowly but surely, Ezra's worry began to melt away, replaced by a sense of contentment and joy. He found himself laughing freely once more, the sound of his laughter mingling with Chris's as they leaned against each other, enjoying each other's company.
As they reached for the last slice of pizza at the same time, their hands brushed against each other, sending a jolt of electricity through them both. For a moment, they froze, their eyes meeting in silent understanding.
And then, as if drawn together by an invisible force, they leaned in simultaneously, their lips meeting in a tender, hesitant kiss. It was a moment filled with warmth and sweetness, a silent promise of the love and connection that was slowly blossoming between them.