Somebody To Lean On
Summary: When Roy gets hit by a car after he and Johnny finish working a call, Johnny finds himself in need of someone to lean on. Dixie is only too willing to provide a cup of coffee and some much needed kindness.
It had all happened so fast.
One minute Johnny and Roy had been cracking jokes about the woman in the bar, the next that car had come out of nowhere and sent Roy flying.
There had been no time to think. Johnny acted on pure instinct, taking charge of the scene. Call for the ambulance, call Rampart, no, we don't have anything to work with, Roy had the drug box, everything was scattered when he got hit, check vitals, check for injuries, just like with any other patient.
"You're gonna be okay, Roy." Johnny told him as he climbed into the ambulance with him. "You're gonna be okay."
Roy hadn't answered, barely conscious, his breaths short and shallow, possible internal injuries, broken right tibia, femur, ribs, Jesus how fast had that car been going?
No time to think, keep an eye on him, BP's dropping, come on Roy dammit stay with me we're almost there stay with me.
The ambulance doors banged open, they were moving treatment room three ready one two three go.
Roy let out a sound as he was moved from the stretcher to the bed, and Johnny grabbed his hand, squeezing hard. "Hang in there. I'll be waiting."
He was reassured when Roy squeezed back in response. It made it easier to take when he was shuffled out of the room and left standing in the hallway.
"Johnny!"
He turned to see Joanne coming down the hallway, and he met her partway, taking her hands in his. "He's gonna be okay, Jo."
"What happened?" She asked as they each took a seat in the waiting room.
"We were finishing up a call and…I don't know, it all happened so fast." The words rushed out of him. "This car came outta nowhere and…Jo, I'm sorry. Wasn't much we could do but get him here."
Joanne's hand squeezed his. "I know you did all you could. You've got nothing to apologize for."
Johnny wanted to argue I'm supposed to keep Roy safe I'm supposed to make sure he always comes home to you Jo how could I let this happen?
"Mrs. DeSoto?" Morton's voice penetrated the chatter in Johnny's head.
Joanne rose from the chair. "Yes?"
"We've got Roy stabilized." Morton told her. "He's going up to surgery right now to have his spleen removed and to set his broken femur and tibia."
The relief on Joanne's face was visible. "Thank you, Doctor Morton."
Morton smiled ever so slightly. "There's a waiting room on the fourth floor. The surgeon will come speak to you as soon as they're done."
"I'll head right up there, thank you." Joanne replied.
"Do you want some company?" Johnny offered, suddenly noticing how badly his voice was shaking.
"Of course." Joanne answered.
"Okay." Johnny responded, squeezing her hand. "I'm, uh, gonna let the guys know how he's doing, then I'll be right up."
They went their separate ways, and Johnny met the crew that was gathered at the nurse's station, feeling the weight of everyone's eyes on him. "He's going into surgery. Sounds like he's gonna make it."
A wave of murmured relief went through the crew, and Cap clapped Johnny on the shoulder. "That's good news. And you did a hell of a job getting him here alive. I'm going to take the squad out of service for the rest of the shift, okay?"
"Okay." Johnny could barely get the word out. The adrenaline was wearing off and it wasn't just his voice that was shaking. "I'm…I'm gonna stay here with Jo."
"Okay, good." Cap answered with a nod before turning his attention to the rest of the crew. "Chet, you're driving the squad back to the station. Let's go."
Almost as soon as they left, Johnny let out a heavy sigh, closing his eyes oh God everything's spinning I can't breathe I'm gonna be sick why him why not me it should have been me—
"Johnny?" Dixie was suddenly right beside him, a hand on his back and another gripping his arm with surprising strength.
"I'm okay." He answered automatically, swallowing hard. "I'm okay."
"Let's get you into the lounge, okay?" Dixie replied gently, guiding him into the doctor's lounge and into a chair. A cup of coffee magically appeared in front of him, but he couldn't seem to stop shaking long enough to get a grip on it.
"Rough night, huh?" Dixie asked quietly.
Johnny could only nod as he concentrated on getting hold of the coffee cup. Stop it Jesus Christ what is wrong with you Roy's the one hurt not you stopitstopitstopit—
He could feel Dixie's eyes on him, seeming to wait for him to say something, anything. "Should've been me, Dix."
"And why do you say that?"
Johnny shifted, sitting back in the chair with a death grip on his coffee cup. "Roy's got a family. Kids, a wife, they're counting on him. He's gonna be down for weeks, at least, maybe months."
Dixie regarded him with a curious look. "And just what makes you think your life is less valuable than his?"
"What?"
"You heard me." Dixie replied firmly. "What makes you think your life is less valuable than Roy's?"
"Kinda obvious, isn't it?" Johnny tried to explain. "I mean, no one's counting on me for much of anything. I don't have a family to support, I don't have anyone worrying about me. If something happens to me…well, it's not exactly the end of the world, is it?"
"Nonsense." Dixie moved her chair closer to Johnny and took his hand in both of hers. "Roy wouldn't be alive tonight if it weren't for you. Don't think for a moment that you're not valuable. If something happened to you…well, I don't want to think about that. Let's just say you would be missed terribly."
Johnny could feel his emotions coming to the surface, and he blinked hard, doing his best to keep them at bay. "Good to know I'm good for something, I guess."
Dixie sighed, never letting go of his hand. "You're good for lots of reasons. And I can't speak for Roy or his family, but I'm glad you were the one that took care of him. I know it wasn't easy, but you did it. You got him here alive. You're the reason he made it into surgery."
Johnny swallowed hard and closed his eyes. "I thought I was gonna lose him, Dix. I didn't have anything to work with. Not a damn thing."
"Well, you must have had the angels on your side tonight." Dixie told him gently. "Because you didn't lose him. He's still here."
"Yeah." Johnny nodded, finally able to take a drink of the now cold coffee.
Dixie rubbed his hand. "You did good, Johnny. You did good."
"Thanks." Johnny answered softly, still not entirely trusting his own voice. "I just want him to be okay, you know?"
"He will be." Dixie assured him. "And so will you."
"Not so sure about that."
Dixie was quiet for a long moment before breaking the silence. "Then I'll stay right here with you until you are."
They sat in the lounge for a while longer, talking about everything and nothing as Johnny finished his coffee. Finally, Johnny rose from his chair, checking his watch. "Suppose I should go up and sit with Jo, you know, make sure she's doing okay."
Dixie smiled warmly as she rose from her own chair to walk out with him. "She's going to need you, I suspect."
"Yeah." Johnny nodded. "Gonna be tough to manage things with Roy out of commission, you know?"
He caught her in a brief hug. "Thanks, Dix."
"Anytime, Johnny." Dixie hugged him briefly in response.
He left Dixie at the nurse's station and made his way to the elevator, stepping on and punching the button to take him to the fourth floor.
Everything was going to be okay. And just as Roy and Joanne had always helped him out when he was knocked down, he would do the same for them.
After all, they needed him as much as he needed them.