Thru the Years

She knew. All the signs were there. His complete disregard for her needs and wants. His coldness.

They were broken.

The break began when their child was killed during Jack Hyde's attack. She saw the crack when she awoke from her coma. He blamed her. Even though he didn't want the child, he sat the blame on her.

Life at Escala became cold. He didn't give her comfort for their loss. He abandoned her to nurses and Mrs. Jones to heal.

And she did heal, at least physically, but mentally the wounds were deep. They never healed.

Ana found the strength to move on…alone. She went to work. She did her duty as his wife sitting on various charity boards. No one could ever know that their lives had become hell. Her smile was glued on her face so well that not even her best friend and sister-in-law suspected that the Grey marriage was in terrible shape. Ana pulled the pain into her heart and let it harden.

Six months after the death of their child, she had gone to New York City for a Writer's Guild Convention hoping to find new and exciting writers for her business. She came home early to find the worst-case scenario a wife could ever imagine. He was in the playroom with another woman. Ana saw it all. Without saying a word, she pulled her wedding rings off and let them fall to the floor in the playroom's doorway. The sound of them hitting the floor finally got Christian's attention that someone had invaded his domain. He turned to see her staring at him with blank eyes. Those eyes that used to look at him with love and devotion was empty and frigid. He had lost her forever! They didn't speak, there was no need. They both knew that their marriage had come to an end. Ana turned on her heel and left him with a whore tied to the St. Andrew's Cross.

She left with nothing except her own credit cards and purse. She ordered Sawyer to stay behind and that she no longer needed his services. She was no longer Mrs. Christian Grey. That moment in the playroom, Anastasia Steele reemerged.

She spent the rest of the evening in the bar at the Fairmont where she had acquired a room for the unforeseeable future. She didn't speak to anyone except the bartender that kept her cosmopolitan full to the brim. Memories of their whirlwind romance played heavily in her mind. She had thought it had been a true love that had developed, but now she knew. There was never any love. She had been an acquisition that he highly desired.

"This is no place for a beautiful woman to be." A deep voice declared. Ana turned and closed her eyes. Another nightmare to endure. Sitting beside her was Aaron Lincoln, the ex-husband of the woman that she loathed and despised.

"Go away." Ana flatly said as she took a drink. "Your company is not needed or wanted."

"Mrs. Grey…" he started but halted when her head pulled up and he saw the cold fury in those sapphire-colored eyes.

"Never call me that, ever!" She drained her glass, and the bartender was there with a fresh drink.

"How many is that?"

"Not enough, now go away. Run back to your pathetic life and leave me alone."

"Ana, drinking will not help whatever problem that you have." he said lowly.

"Mr. Lincoln, don't you have another felon to bail out? I said to leave me alone."

Aaron Lincoln smoothed back his dark brown hair. This was a woman out of control and ready to explode. He wondered what the hell Grey did to cause this. There was no love lost between the two men, but Aaron did not want anything to happen to this innocent young woman. A beauty like her drinking alone in a hotel bar was a combination for disaster.

"I did not bail out Jack Hyde as you and Grey were informed. It was Elena. I had nothing to do with that." He sighed heavily. He was made to pay for the evil actions of his ex-wife once more. His company was now owned by GEH, and he was forced out of the CEO's seat.

Ana lifted her eyes to stare at him with disbelief. Christian had told her that Aaron Lincoln had bailed out Hyde for revenge. Her alcohol laced mind couldn't understand why Christian would have lied. "Is that true?"

"Why would I release a dangerous man such as Hyde out on the world.?"

"Revenge for Christian fucking your wife."

Aaron began to laugh. "Truthfully, I am grateful to your husband. I was able to get rid of that bitch finally." He motioned for the bartender and asked for an Old Fashion. "I never loved her. She was an albatross about my neck."

"Why did you marry her then?"

Aaron took a drink. "Blackmail. She had photos of me." He looked to Ana hoping she understood so he wouldn't have to elaborate.

"I see." She went back to her drink. Elena had a method. Fuck, photograph, and blackmail.

"You know she is older than me." Aaron offered. "Almost ten years older." He laughed. "I guess most women lie about their ages, but that bitch…she works hard to keep her secrets. She even had her birth certificate fabricated."

Ana nearly choked on her drink. "How old is she?"

"Almost sixty, but says she is in her late forties. When she was fucking Grey she was already in her forties." His thoughts went back to 10 years ago when he came home to find Elena fucking a young Christian Grey. The boy had just turned 18, but Aaron knew Elena's tastes. She liked young boys. He was one of them. He was even younger than Grey when Elena preyed upon him and wrapped him up in her sick web. Their relationship had started out warped and finished the same way. He paid a high price to get rid of her. He lost everything his father and grandfather worked hard to attain. He had been such a fool. "I didn't handle the situation well. I lost my mind and beat the shit out of her as she did to me when I was younger. I really don't regret it. I got my pound of flesh, but that bitch blackmailed me once again."

All Ana could think of was that there were so many victims of Elena Lincoln. The woman truly was evil.

"So, what did Christian do that sent his young bride out to a bar?"

"I can't tell you." She replied taking another sip of her drink.

Aaron kept his mouth shut but he could imagine. Ana probably found out about the little brown haired submissive that Christian was playing around with for the last few weeks. He could only surmise that Ana had no idea that Elena had found that little whore for Christian.

"Don't you think you should have something to eat?"

"I'm not hungry." She kept sipping on her drink. "It was Elena that told Christian that you bailed Hyde out of jail, and he stupidly believed her." She closed her eyes as another truth came to light. "He never severed ties with her, did he?"

"Sorry to say, no."

Ana began to laugh. Her life was nothing but a lie and a joke. She blindly believed everything that Christian had told her. "He played me so well." She whispered softly more to herself than to Aaron. "What a fool I was! Such a fool!"

"You were manipulated. It's what they do."

The headache from a night of drinking was more than enough for Ana to swear that she would never indulge again. She moaned as she sat up thinking her head was going to explode. She tried to turn enough to see the time on the nightstand clock, but the bright light of day was murder to her brain. "Oh, god…kill me now." She said aloud.

"Now, that would be a waste of a beautiful woman."

Ana froze. That voice. She knew that voice. Slowly she lifted her head to see Aaron Lincoln sitting at the end of her bed. He was freshly showered with water beads still dripping off his brown wavey hair. She looked over him and gasped … he was only wearing a hotel towel about his waist.

"What…why…how?" The questions were jumbled in her head. What had she done? Why was he in her hotel room? How did she get from the bar to her room last night? She couldn't remember anything except the cosmos that she drank. She realized that she was still dressed in the clothes she wore yesterday. "Thank god."

"You were very drunk last night so I escorted you up here to your room." He could see the horror in her beautiful face. "During the elevator ride, you threw up on me."

"Oh, god…please kill me now." She slowly laid back into the pillows and wished for death to come for her.

"I stayed because I was worried about you. I hope you don't mind." He gave her a gentle smile showing his warm brown eyes. "I did sleep on the sofa in the living room."

"Thank you." She mumbled. She opened one eye and looked him over. "Where are your clothes?"

He cleared his voice. "After I got you into the room, you vomited once again on me. I washed out my clothes after I got you into bed. I promise, I didn't touch you." He swiped away a wayward strand of hair. "I was hoping to be dressed before you woke up, but my clothes are still wet. I had to shower because…well…I smelled bad."

"Oh, god, I am so … so sorry." She was horrified by her actions. She covered her eyes with her arm and kept praying for deliverance.

"No problem. Why don't you take a shower and I'll order us a light breakfast."

"Just tea and toast for me." She slowly arose from the bed. Her head was spinning. "I don't have any clothes."

"I hope you don't mind but I took the liberty of purchasing us both some clothing. They were just delivered. I hope I got the sizes correct."

Ana didn't care. She just wanted to get out of these smelly clothes. Aaron must have cleaned the vomit off her before she passed out. She started to walk towards the bathroom but stumbled. She couldn't but help laugh. "I must still be drunk."

"Mmmm … I would say more like hung over." Aaron held the towel about his waist as he helped her regain her balance. "You got it?"

"Yeah, thank you once again." Ana said finding her balance. She nodded toward the bathroom. "I'll go clean up."

April saw the divorce finalized, and Ana was free of her short marriage and a cheating husband. She asked for nothing, but her freedom and maiden name restored. The Grey family was heartbroken when they learned the truth. At first, the Greys, except for Kate rallied around Christian. When Kate learned the truth and told Grace and Carrick that Ana caught Christian with another woman, they changed their tunes. They were equally amazed that their ex-daughter-in-law didn't take their son for everything that he was worth since there was no pre-nup. Ana left town with a new job in Chicago and never looked back.

Christian found himself unwelcomed in his childhood home. Grace and Carrick were disgusted with him when all the details of his affair were unearthed. His little sub disregarded the NDA she signed and went to the press with her story. The whole world now knew that he was a BDSM dom and that was what killed his marriage. In July, Christian learned another truth that nearly drove him over the edge. His wife had remarried. When he learned it was none other than Aaron Lincoln, he went ape-shit nuts and destroyed his own apartment. He threatened to have both Ana and Aaron killed! He was adamant that Ana had cheated on him with his arch nemesis. Taylor had to restrain his employer so that the man didn't hurt himself.

Ana was happy for the first time in many months. She was remarried and had a wonderful job with a publishing house in Chicago. Aaron found them a lovely house in a Chicago suburb that even had a pool. Aaron founded another company dealing with digital media. He called it Steele Media Group and it expanded quickly with a wonderful reputation. Within a few years, Steele Media Group took over the publishing house that Ana started to work for when she first moved to Chicago. She had quit her beloved job when she learned she was pregnant with twins and decided to be a stay-at-home mom that helped her husband with his business when needed. Besides business and having their twins, the other big change was that Aaron had his last name changed from Lincoln to Steele. When they married, Ana refused to be a "Mrs. Lincoln" and kept her maiden name. Aaron wanted their family to have the same sir name so he proposed that he change his name legally. The Steeles were a happy family and quite successful. Their twin boys were born after his name changed and were named, Dustin Aaron and Daniel Raymond Steele. Raymond Steele had his name continuance. He was a frequent visitor and doted on his grandsons.

Two more children joined the Steele family in the following years. The first was a little girl that was named after Aaron's mother, Lilli Anne and the second child was another girl that Ana named Lana June. Since her husband graciously gave up his last name and took her father's name, she decided to take the first letter of Lincoln and add it to her name and came up with Lana. June came from the month that the little girl was born in.

Twenty years had passed quickly with the family and the business growing and maturing. Ana was now 42 years old and a widow. Aaron had died of heart complications. He was only 60 years old. The family surrounded his bed as he passed away in his wife's loving arms. The twins were twenty years old and at Notre Dame studying media and marketing. Lilli was 18 and getting ready to follow her brothers to Notre Dame, and the youngest, Lana was a junior in high school.

Kate came to the memorial service to support her dear friend. Sad to say, Kate was no longer a Grey. She and Elliot divorced after five years of marriage. Their constant fighting could not sustain a marriage. They didn't have any children. Kate remarried a few years after to a New Yorker she met when interviewing him for her family's paper. She now lives in New York City in a Madison Avenue Penthouse with two children, a boy, and a girl. She still had ties to Seattle since her parents were still alive and running Kavanagh Media. It was through Kate that Ana kept abreast of the Grey family. Mia was engaged to Ethan Kavanagh, but they never made it to the alter. She married one of Christian's security guards and they started their own security system business. Elliot was still in the construction business and remarried twice. The Grey siblings lost both their parents when Grace and Carrick were in a car wreck. They died instantly when crashed into by a drunk driver. Then, there was Christian Grey. He never remarried. He lived a lonely life stuck in the clouds at Escala. He had left the BDSM lifestyle when he finally learned the ugly truth of his mentor. Ironically those truths had come from Ana when he showed up one day at her home ten years ago with no warning.

"Christian!" Ana was shocked when she answered her front door. There stood her ex-husband. He still looked the same with rusty, unruly waves and those grey eyes. He was still in great shape but there were a few tell-tale signs of aging. He had little lines about his eyes and mouth and just a sugaring of gray hair about his temples.

"I know this is a shock." He said standing back so she wouldn't conceive him as a threat. "I needed to talk to you, if I can."

Ana looked about to find the usual security force that she was used to seeing with him, but he was completely alone. "Taylor?"

"He retired a couple of years ago." He pulled his hand through his hair as he did when nervous or anxious. "He got tired of my shit."

Ana could relate. She stood aside and motioned him to come into the house. "Can I offer you a drink? I have a varied supply of juices."

Christian laughed lowly knowing that she had young children. He knew everything about his ex-wife. "Umm, no, I'm fine."

Ana led him into the formal living room and offered him a seat. She sat across from him, keeping the cocktail table between them. "What can I do for you, Christian?"

"I need to talk." He was forthcoming in his response.

"Okay."

"I was sure you were having an affair with Aaron when you left me. Kate tells me that I am an asshole for assuming that."

"Well, it would be only fair. You did fuck his wife, but no Christian, I didn't have an affair with Aaron. He became my friend the night I found you with that woman in our home. He kept me safe when I was too drunk to even find my hotel room." She remembered how gentle Aaron had treated her that night and the next day. He had always been a gentleman. "Aaron and I didn't get involved until after the divorce."

"He's older than you."

"So are you."

They stared at each other for a few moments. Ana was no longer intimidated by this man. He could glare at her all he wanted, but she would never flinch.

"I miss you, Ana." He finally said.

"I'm sure you do miss the old Ana who believed every word you uttered, but this Ana, the woman I am now doesn't give a damn. I have my own life and I am happy. I have four beautiful children with a man that I adore, love, and admire. He is such a good father. He is patient, kind, and loving."

Christian took a deep breath. He wanted to ask her to come back to him, but he knew that she would never abandon her children. Ana was made to be a mother. "Elena Lincoln? What can you tell me about her? I mean, what has Aaron said about her?"

"Why do you care about what my husband says or thinks about his ex?"

"I've caught her in some lies."

Ana began to laugh. "That means you actually listened to her. That's all that woman does is lie." She got serious. "Okay, first of all, it wasn't Aaron who bailed out Hyde. It was Elena and I have the proof. You want to see it?" He shook his head. "I'm sure you figured it out by now that she is much older than she says. She's even older than Aaron by ten years. She raped him when he barely thirteen years old then blackmailed him into a marriage because he was an heir to a fortune." Ana watched his reactions but like the good businessman that he was, he kept his emotions under control. "Have you figured it out that she has never been your friend. She is a leech sucking the life out of you and anyone who is around her."

The billionaire sighed heavily. "I owe you an apology."

"Really, for what?" Ana said with a sneer. Talking about Elena put her in a bad and nasty mood.

"For hurting you, for not being the man you needed when our child died, for cheating on you, and so, so many things that I said or left unsaid." He needed her forgiveness. His life may seem glamourous and wonderful to others, but he had not had a good day since she left him. "I did love you, as much as I could love anyone."

"I loved you also, but I know now it was just an illusion. You were my first, but you were never my soul mate." A bit of sadness tinged her voice. "It was best we separated when we did, or we would have spent of lifetime making each other miserable."

"You weren't happy?" he asked softly.

"No."

They sat lost in their memories of the disaster they called a marriage, then Christian stood up. "I probably should go."

Ana looked at her wristwatch and agreed. "Yes, it would be best. I must go get the children from school." He nodded then turned to leave. She followed him to the door and opened it for him. He looked down at her, wanting something, anything. "If you ever need anything…"

"I will go to my husband." She finished for him. She gave him a small smile. "You take care of yourself. Try to be happy, Christian. Life is too short to be miserable."

The memory faded when she heard and saw Kate snap those long fingers in front of her. "Where did you go?"

"A little walk down memory lane." She gave her friend a sad smile. "A few years ago, Christian paid me a visit. He wanted information about Elena, and he actually apologized for the way he treated me when the baby died."

"Well, bully for him. Makes him the man of the year." Kate replied with sarcasm. She would never be a Christian Grey fan. She felt that he was never good enough for her friend. Kate always knew that he would hurt Ana, and she would never forgive him for that. "You should come to New York soon. Let's have a girl's weekend like we used to."

TWO YEARS LATER:

It was a dreary day in Seattle as the family and few friends of the deceased gathered about the burial plot. Today a brother and sister were saying a final goodbye to their sibling. Ana stood off to the side of the family with Kate holding her hand. A white rose spray covered the dark walnut coffin that held the remains of The Christian Grey. Ana remembered the phone call she got five days ago from Kate who was the one who told her that Christian had died at his desk from an apparent heart attack. It was Kate's opinion that his broken heart could no longer sustain his life. Christian never did learn to live a happy life. He died alone. She barely heard the words of the minister as he performed the graveside services and tried to give comfort to Christian's remaining family. Elliot sat with his fourth wife and their two children. Mia sat with her husband, Luke Sawyer and their three grown children stood behind them. Such a sad day.

When the service was over, Elliot approached Ana. He had aged like the rest of them. His blonde hair was now thinner and a silver gray.

"It's been a while, Ana." he said lowly.

"Yes, it has been. How are you, Elliot?"

The elder Grey sibling stared at the casket. "In disbelief. I never thought he would go before me."

"I am sorry for your loss." Ana replied.

Elliot only nodded. "I hate to bring this up now, but Christian always told me to make sure that you were here if something ever happened to him. We are meeting tomorrow at ten at GEH to meet with his lawyers. You need to be there."

At ten o'clock in the morning the family of Christian Grey and his ex-wife met in Conference Room A where the mogul had convened many a meeting throughout the years. Mia and her family and Elliot and his family sat on one side with Ana sitting alone on the other side. A tall man came into the room and introduced himself as Christian Grey's lawyer and he was there to read the will.

Ana sat silent, still not able to understand why she was in attendance. The lawyer was reading the minor bequeaths. Her head shot up when she heard her name spoken.

"To Anastasia Rose Steele, the only woman I ever loved, I leave twenty million dollars. To each of her children, I bequeath five million dollars each." The lawyer's voice drawled on and on. After coming out of her shock, she learned that the rest of Christian's estate was left to Elliot and Mia's families. She sat in the chair even after the family left. She couldn't feel her legs. The shock was that real!

"Mrs. Steele, I was to give this to you in private, after everyone had gone." The lawyer handed her a large manilla envelope. He gave her a gentle smile. "It's from Christian."

Ana waited until she returned to her hotel room and settled into comfortable clothes and a cup of hot tea. Her hands shook when she opened the envelope to find sheets of paper. A letter?

"My darling Ana,

I am sure that you are more than shocked about what has happened and knowing you, you are pissed off at me. Please let me explain. I did what I did because I owed you so much. I took from you every day of our time together and never gave back. I know now that you never wanted money or material things. You just wanted my love and devotion. I am sorry that I couldn't be the man that you deserve. I was too stupid, too stubborn, and too egotistical to even try to be the man you wanted.

I'm glad that Aaron could give you what you needed. I realized, far to late, that he was a good man. He didn't deserve what I did to him all those years ago. Like a fool, I believed Elena when she told me that Aaron had bailed out Hyde. I was such a fool, Ana. I ruined his business and nearly bankrupted that man. I know that with your help he was able to rebuild another business. You were always so smart and able. The money I left you, it's actually Aaron's and I want you to have it. You do deserve it. You won't have to worry about anything ever again. The money I left your children…I did that because of the child we lost. You are the only woman that I ever wanted to have children with. I am sorry that I destroyed us and someday I hope you can forgive me.

I did love you, Ana. I still love you. I will always love you with all my fifty shades of grey.

You once told me to be happy because life is too short to be miserable. Honey, follow your own advice. Go to Europe. Dance. Sing. Enjoy life and let life enjoy you. Take chances. Love your children with everything you have. For once, let me take care of you!

Hopefully we will meet on the other side, and I hope you will give me a smile and maybe a chance. I will dream of that possibility as I wait for you. Thank you, Ana, for loving me even though it was just a short time.

Your Christian"

Ana couldn't believe the words that she had just read. She was once again in shock. When she came to her senses, she was in a cab racing back to the cemetery. She fell at his grave and cried. She cried for their child that never had a chance. She cried for their marriage that didn't survive their loss and his adultery. She cried because she was still missing her beloved husband. She loved two men in her life and lost them both.

"I forgave you, Christian, a long time ago." She whispered, still sitting on her knees. She wiped the tears from her eyes. "Goodbye."