A/N: I finished CI! I don't know what I'm going to do with myself now. Oh right, write a story about the ending because it is just too good to be left alone. So this is post-finale and what might be for our detectives!
Bobby exited 's office with a restless mind. She had told him he could be more than his job. She had even alluded to the fact that maybe he wasn't too old to find happiness. And he figured she was smart enough to recognize that he had feelings for his partner. What the hell was he supposed to do with all that information?
He didn't expect Alex to be waiting for him when he came out. She was like something out of a dream. Smiling at him warmly, looking like she was expecting something from him. But what? She asked him how it went, told him about the case and then there was a pause. He could have taken the opportunity right there. To grab her hand, to kiss her on the cheek, to do something innocuous. But of course he did nothing but climb in the car and tell her to go. He was a coward.
Bobby was quiet on the way to the crime scene, and she didn't make him talk. She was dying of curiosity about his sessions with the doctor, but ultimately it was none of her business. She just hoped it was helping him. Maybe he would realize some things Alex already knew, like that he wasn't alone in the world, despite Gage's best efforts. Maybe, even, the doctor could talk about her. Maybe their relationship. Alex stopped herself from playing this little game in her head. Bobby's shell wasn't easy to crack. She more than anyone knew that. But she still had feelings for him, and she was getting tired of waiting to see if he wanted more from her.
When the producer described Amanda Rollins, it hit close to home. Engrossed in her work, no relationship, no kids, no prospects, getting older. She related to Amanda and it made her think about all the things she was missing out on by waiting for him and being all about her job. There had to be more to life than this.
Their arrival at the crime scene snapped them both out of their respective silences. As per usual, Alex ran interference while Bobby went under the tape and right to the body. But that didn't last long and soon the FBI was shooing them away, claiming jurisdiction. Alex tried to buy Bobby more time, but the agent got in his face and she could see Bobby getting upset. She placed her hand on his back and whispered "Let's get out of here". Bobby visibly relaxed under her touch and went back under the tape.
Back in the car, they sat awkwardly for a minute, neither knowing what to do now. Bobby's mind was going a mile a minute and not about the case. It was all about her and what Gyson had said. He seemed like he was going to say something, so Alex waited.
He berated himself for being so cowardly before. And he wouldn't do it again. Not when the opportunity was right in front of him now and he was spurned on by Gyson's words.
"Alex", he started. The use of her first name for the second time in the span of an hour told her something important was coming. She turned to him and gave him her full attention.
"Do you…do you want to have dinner with me?", he said in a rush. She rewarded him with a smile.
"Sure. We could go to the diner or…"
He shook his head. "No. I want you to…come to my house. I'm…I'm going to cook for you…for us."
She cursed the blush that rose to her cheeks. No matter how much she tried, she couldn't stop it in some circumstances and this was proving to be one of them.
"You're going to cook?", she said skeptically, trying to make a joke to lighten the mood of seriousness in the car. He nodded.
"What are you making?" He gave her a mischievous grin. "You'll have to come over and find out." He was bordering on flirting with her and it felt so natural.
"Ok. But only because I'm curious. And I'll have the pizza place on speed dial", she teased. He laughed at this. It was so good to hear him laugh.
"I need ingredients." This was obviously not a well thought out decision on his part and she loved that he was being spontaneous with her. She rolled her eyes and started the car.
She offered to come into the store with him when they got there, but he insisted he wanted it to be a surprise. She suspected he had no idea what he was doing, but she remained double parked in the vehicle.
He was practically hyperventilating in the grocery store. What the hell was he doing? He had no idea what he was going to cook and finally settled on lasagna. Italian was her favorite. So how was he going to make this night NOT a disaster? He thought again of Gyson's words. Being more than his job. And maybe that meant telling Alex things. Things he'd kept locked up. He told himself it was to protect her, but if he was honest, he was really protecting himself. Dammit what was this shrink doing to him? Making him confront feelings. Ugh. He made a quick trip to the liquor store next door.
She tried to peek in the grocery bags but he swatted her hand away. He held her hand for a second too long before pulling away. Arriving at his apartment, he wrangled the bags into the kitchen. Then he produced a bottle to bourbon.
"I thought you might want a drink." He'd remembered her drink choice from their case and thought it would be a nice gesture.
"Sure. Do you want any help?"
"Nope. Just sit. And…and talk to me." She watched him pull lasagna noodles out of the bag. Yum.
She didn't know what to say at first and sat in awkward silence. She could talk about their last case, the matchmakers. "True love. We all want to believe." she had said. But that was a little too deep. So she started out regaling him with stories about her nephew's latest antics and her sister being at her 'wits end with that boy'. Bobby smiled. He decided to take a plunge into a personal topic.
"Did you…did you ever want kids, Alex?" She was taken aback by his intimate question. She wasn't sure if she wanted to answer, but if he was opening a door, she wanted to walk through. She took a deep breath and sighed.
"Joe and I wanted kids. We were planning on it. Right before he got killed, we'd had a whole conversation about it. But then he was gone and I…I never found the right person again to have a child with. And I threw myself into my job for all these years. I don't think I would have made a very good mother."
Bobby stopped what he was doing and leaned over the counter. He caught her downcast eyes and locked them.
"Hey," he said. "You would make an amazing mother, Alex. You would give that kid every good part of you. And that's a lot of parts."
Alex was blushing again and tears stood in her eyes. "Thank you", she whispered. She cleared her throat and decided to turn the tables.
"Did you? Ever want kids, I mean?", she asked him. He closed his eyes. In the past few months, he'd been thinking about kids. Regret that he never had any. But with his genes, how could he possibly be a good father? He wanted to shake his head, put an end to the conversation, but that wasn't fair. He nodded, while intently laying out the lasagna noodles.
"I thought about it. I just…I got so wrapped up in work. And my fathers…both of them…were horrible people. And with schizophrenia and bipolar disorder in the family…I don't think it would be fair for me to bring a kid into the world if they were just going to suffer."
She got up from the counter and rounded the corner into the kitchen. It was her turn to find his eyes.
"Bobby. You're nothing like your fathers. And genetics doesn't mean certainty. And even if that kid had problems, you would support them every step of the way. I know you would. You'd be a good dad, Bobby. That kid would be lucky to have you."
They were standing facing each other now, eyes locked. She looked so earnest, like she really wanted him to believe this about himself. She had always believed in him. He wanted so badly to touch her. So he did. He brushed a lock of hair away from her face and tucked it behind her ear. He tilted her chin up towards his face. And then he kissed her. Soft and tentative and quick. He pulled back to gauge her reaction. Her eyes were dark and she smiled at him, touching her lips.
She had been waiting so long for this. For him. Longer than she cared to admit. And now…now something was happening. Something was unlocking inside of him. What was that shrink doing to him? She didn't care. It was working.
She was standing in silence and Bobby took it as rejection. "Alex, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…"
"Shut up", she said. "Just…shut up. I'm enjoying the moment." He was surprised. He didn't know she even wanted this. But it was like she'd been waiting. Oh my God, had she been waiting for him? Waiting for him to get out of his own way and get his shit together? He'd put her through hell and she'd been hoping for…this…for who knew how long? All this time, they could have been together if he just let himself believe in her. Regret and shame washed over him.
"Hey," she said. "Where'd you go?"
"I just…I just should have done this a long time ago. I knew…I knew I cared about you…like this…and I just…did nothing. I don't deserve you, Alex."
She refused to let him wallow in self deprecation. She shook her head at him. "No", she said. "You had to be ready. Something had to change for you. Don't doubt this, Bobby. Just go with it."
"That's not easy for me."
"I know. I'll help you, if you'll let me this time."
"I will. It's…it's different now. With you. With me. I see things differently."
"I see that. What did that shrink do to you?", she teased lightly.
"Made me see things for what they are. And what they could be."
He pulled her towards him into a hug and placed a kiss on her head. He knew he wanted to tell her he loved her. And she probably loved him too, which made his heart soar. But for now, this…this was good.
She pulled back from him, reluctantly. "So…", she said. "Did you get breadsticks?" He laughed. The way to Alex's heart was through her stomach.
"Yes. Now go back over there, drink your bourbon and talk to me. Tell me a story." She circled back around the counter and sat down. She wanted to tell him how much she loved him, that that was the only story that mattered. She didn't want to wait anymore. But she didn't want to push it. So she started her story.
"Back when I was working Vice…"
A/N: Ok so this can be a one shot or I can keep going til they make their declarations of love. I am undecided so I will leave it to you, dear readers!