DISCLAIMER: CHARACTERS SUCH AS DEADPOOL AND SHIKLAH ARE PROPERTY OF MARVEL ENTERTAINMENT INC, AND SCORPION AND QUAN CHI ARE PROPERTY OF WARNER BROS. ENTERTAINMENT INC., AS WELL AS NEATHERREALM STUDIOS. THE PURPOSE OF THIS SHORT STORY IS FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY, AND NO PROFIT IS BEING MADE FROM IT. IN OTHER WORDS, PLEASE DON'T SUE.

DEADPOOL VS. SCORPION

It is night time in an old, ruined Asian temple, and inside, the beautiful, black-haired, pink-skinned Queen of the Undead, Shiklah, is in between two pillars and chained to both of them. She was the prisoner of two men, one the bald, pale-skinned sorcerer named Quan Chi, clad in black leather pants, and bladed shoulder pads and gloves. Also with the sorcerer was his servant, the gold and black clad undead ninja known as Scorpion. It was here that a smiling Quan Chi approached the still struggling Shiklah. "Please, save your strength, my dear," he told her in a confident tone. "Before your capture, I enchanted those chains with a spell that would nullify your powers. Besides, you should feel privileged. For you will soon take part in a spell which will allow me to take control of all the minds of every Succubus in your realm, all so they can help me overthrow Shao Khan!"

Shiklah only looked at Quan Chi with a look of pure disgust. "You are bold, sorcerer, I'll grant you that," she hissed. "Unfortunately for you, such a pathetic scheme will result in me ripping your head off with my bare hands once I'm free!"

This response causes Scorpion to pull one of his small katana swords from out of his back and holds the tip of the blade just inches from Shiklah's throat. "Hold your tongue, witch!"

Quan Chi calmly holds up his right hand to his servant, while channeling his energy into it, making his hand glow bright green if he had to fire a mystic blast. "Restrain, Scorpion!" he commanded, and while Scorpion seemed reluctant at first, he nevertheless obeyed his master and placed his sword back into his 'X' shaped sheath in his back. After putting Scorpion 'in his place, Quan Chi channels his energy into his other hand, and moments later, holds both glowing hands up in the air and over his head. "Now, let us begin, shall we?" Suddenly, before Quan Chi could begin his incantation, he stops when he, as well as Scorpion and Shiklah, are surprised to see and feel the entire temple shaking, leaving the sorcerer confused. "What in the name of…?"

A split second later, everyone in the room receives a rather big surprise in the form of an explosion that destroys the wall right across from them, and with enough force to send Quan Chi and Scorpion flying backward and the sorcerer himself to hit his head on the wall, knocking him out. As the dust settled, the cause of the explosion reveals itself to be that of a tank, which rolls into the temple, causing more destruction to the interior as a result. Once inside the temple, the lid opens up, and Shiklah's husband, the red-suited, Merc with the Mouth, and Deadpool raises his arms in triumph. "Chimi… mother fuckin'….CHANGA!"

Shiklah only shook her head and smiled upon seeing her husband, knowing that he couldn't resist making such a grand entrance. As she watched Deadpool jump out of the tank and run towards her, the Succubus

Queen of the Undead as him this. "What took you so long, husband?"

"Well, normally, I'd say I had a hard time finding the place," Deadpool replied as he approached his chained wife. "But the truth is, it's just the writer of this story is too lazy to come up with a better reason for me to show up." At that moment, Deadpool turns to face us, the readers. "I'm looking at you, ABOOK!"

On the other side of the 'fourth wall,' more specifically, my computer desk, I, ABOOK5117, stop typing so I can reply to Deadpool's comment by flipping him the bird. That pizza faced prick.

Back in the temple, Deadpool turns his attention back to the still chained Shiklah. "Now, what do you say I go ahead and get you out of here, and I can show you another 'weapon of mass destruction,' and I'm not talking about the tank." Suddenly, before Deadpool could receive an answer from his imprisoned but smirking wife, he gets a nasty shock when he felt something sharp piece through his back and come out of his abdomen. This causes both he and the equally shocked Shiklah to look down and see a sharp, spearhead protruding through Deadpool's midsection. "Well, this is strangely arousing.

Moments later, Deadpool is yanked away from Shiklah, but not before hearing a thundering voice resounding in his eardrums. "GET OVER HERE!" Deadpool then looked straight ahead and saw on the other end of a long chain was Scorpion, who waits for the merc to come close, then nails him with a hard left legged roundhouse kick, which was powerful enough to send Deadpool spinning in a corkscrew motion and landing hard on the floor. While shaking off the effects of the last attack, Deadpool looks down to see that he was now standing over a shadow. This causes him to look up and sees Scorpion himself high above the air and with his right fist wound back, no doubt intending to bash the red-suited merc's brains in. This causes Deadpool to roll forward and successfully dodge Scorpion's attack, making the ninja punch his first into the floor instead. Upon getting back up, Deadpool turns and angrily walk towards Scorpion, who pulls his fist out of the hole he made in the floor. "You…COCKBLOCKER!" he yelled, throwing a right legged front kick at the undead ninja.

However, Scorpion sees this attack coming and thus uses both of his hands to block Deadpool's kick and pushes the merc's foot backward, all to give him room to rise up and throw a left uppercut.

Luckily for Deadpool, however, he spots this attack coming and thus leans back to avoid it. Moments later, he spots Scorpion throwing a right legged front kick, and responds by using his left leg to throw a front kick of his own, which not only stops Scorpion's boot but allows the merc to push his opponent's foot downward. "Dude, whether you're a ninja or not," said Deadpool as he used his right arm to block an incoming right hook, then uses his other hand to block and push away a left jab. "You never, EVER, ruin another man's game!" With that declaration, Deadpool attempts to fight back by throwing a right jab at Scorpion's face.

However, Scorpion anticipates this and thus uses his left hand to block and push away Deadpool's punch. But even in avoiding this attack, the battle-hardened Scorpion knows he's not out of the woods yet and sees Deadpool using his other hand to go for a middle punch to his abdomen. Thus forcing the ninja to throw a right arm in a downward motion, blocking the blow and pushing his opponent's fist outward so he can throw a left legged knee strike.

Fortunately for Deadpool, he is just as quick to get on the defense and uses both of his hands to block the strike and push Scorpion's knee downward. But after stopping this attack, the merc spots Scorpion using his right hand to reach over his left shoulder, grab the handle of one of his katanas, then pulls it out and swings in a backhand motion, with the intent of taking Deadpool's head off.

This, of course, prompts Deadpool to duck and thus save himself from being decapitated. As he looked up, Deadpool sees Scorpion now using his right hand to reach over his left shoulder to pull out of the other sword, then holds both blades over the head and drives them downward to slice the merc entirely in half. Acting fast, Deadpool reaches back with both hands, grabs and pulls out his katana blades, and holds them over his head in an 'X' fashion, successfully blocking both of Scorpion's blades. Afterward, Deadpool pushes his swords upward as he stood back up, forcing Scorpion to stagger backward. "So that's how you wanna play, Ninja Gaiden?" he asked as the recovering Scorpion, katana blades still in both hands. "Fine, let's play! And by play, I mean, let's try to kill each other!"

After regaining his composure, Scorpion sees Deadpool going for a right overhead slash, and gives his answer by taking the sword in his right and throws an inward slash, parrying Deadpool's slash and pushes the blade to the left side.

Moments later, Scorpion sees Deadpool taking the sword in his left and going for an overhead chop, thus prompting Scorpion to hold the sword in his left hand horizontally over his head, blocking the Merc's blade. Scorpion then attempts to fight back by spinning around, and with the sword in his right hand, goes for a low backhand slash, intending to slice Deadpool's belly wide open.

However, thanks to his martial arts training, Deadpool anticipated this and thus holds his right sword in a vertical angle, with the tip of the blade pointing down, and thus blocks Scorpion's parries Scorpion's slash attack.

But even in having that attack blocked, Scorpion continues his assault by again utilizing his right arm to throw another backhand slash, but this time, he throws it higher to try and take Deadpool's head off of his shoulders.

Deadpool, on the other hand, stops this attack by holding the katana in his left hand in a vertical angle, but this time, with the blade pointing up and successfully blocks the blade. From there, Deadpool fights back by taking the sword in his other hand to deliver an overhead chop and slices off Scorpion's right hand from the wrist. Afterward, Deadpool goes to finish Scorpion off by throwing a left sword slash, intending on taking the ninja's head off. "Shit!" Deadpool said to himself annoyed, then frantically looks around, until moments later, through the corner of his left eye, sees Scorpion reappearing on the left side and going for a flying kick, prompting him to lean back and allow the ninja to pass right above him and end up on the right side of the room. Not wanting to give Scorpion a chance to attack, Deadpool takes the katana in his left hand and throws it at Scorpion, aiming for his head.

However, Scorpion sees this and instinctively ducks, causing the katana to hit and get stuck in the wall instead.

"Fuck!" Deadpool yelled in aggravation, hoping that he would hit Scorpion and end this fight so he could go ahead and free Shiklah so he can keep his promise on showing her his 'secret' weapon.

While kneeling down, Scorpion throw's his right arm downward, and a split second later, a gust of fire appears, which soon transforms into a new hand. Afterward, Scorpion vanishes in a flash of fire once again.

Deadpool looks around to see where Scorpion went off to this time, but moments later, he saw that he was under a shadow. This causes him to look up and see that Scorpion was now right above him, holding his sword over his head and coming down to slice the merc entirely in half. "Shit, fuck!" Deadpool exclaimed, then jumps and rolls forward, causing Scorpion to miss him. Upon ending up in a kneeling position, with his katana still in hand, Deadpool looks over his shoulder and sees Scorpion standing back and spinning around to face him, with his sword also drawn. "Okay, Scorpy, two can play the teleporter game!" As Deadpool tapped on the belt buckle that resembled his mask, he is surprised to see that nothing happens, causing him to look down in shock as he tapped it repeatedly."Damn it! I must've forgotten to wear my teleport belt today!" he said to himself in distress, then gets a grim angry look on his face. "Or it could be the fault of a certain writer's lazy writing!" he concluded, then turns to the readers, namely…the author. "ABOOK, you really are a dick!"

"ENOUGH!" yelled the agitated Scorpion, and with the sword still in hand, charges towards Deadpool and goes for a left-sided slash, with the intent of taking his head off.

Luckily though, Deadpool holds his sword to the same side to block the slash, and as he stood up, delivers a massive head butt to Scorpion's face, forcing the ninja to stumble back.

Miraculously, the disoriented Scorpion stays on his feet, and after shaking off of the pain, he sees Deadpool heading towards him and throwing an overhead slash of his own, forcing the undead ninja to hold up his sword and block the attack coming his way. Moments later, both men engaged in an intense sword fight, both slashes lightning fast, the sounds of steel hitting steel echoing through the temple, as well as sparks literally flying with a parry from every strike, until finally, Scorpion is the one who gains the upper hand by throwing a strike so hard, it causes Deadpool's blade to shatter into pieces. Moments later, Scorpio capitalizes by driving his sword into Deadpool's abdomen.

Naturally, Deadpool winced painfully and appeared to go limp in Scorpion's arms. Moments later, he placed his left hand on Scorpion's shoulder and gave him a right uppercut so strong that it sent him flying up into the air. And at that instant, a small image of Dan Forden, the sound designer for the Mortal Kombat games, peaks out behind a pillar. "TOASTY!" he said in a light, falsetto voice then goes back behind the pillar and disappears. Something in which makes Deadpool look back at the readers with a raised eyebrow. "What, you think that we weren't going to add that?"

Scorpion lands spine first onto the ground, wincing slightly. Still, no physical pain was worse than the humiliation of leaving himself open from an attack given to him by a 'talkative fool' like Deadpool. While on the ground, the fallen ninja looked up to see Deadpool his sword out of him and is baffled to see that the merc still alive is not only the merc still alive, but his heavily bleeding wound closed up in seconds. "What…are you? Immortal?"

"Pretty much," Deadpool replied as he threw the sword to the floor. "Healing factor never lets me down. So much so, that for me, getting stabbed in the gut is...Tuesday."

Upon receiving this answer, Scorpion lays his head back on the floor, then places his hands next to his ears, curls his knees into his chest and kicks his feet upward into the air, popping back up on his feet and gets into a fighting stance. "Then I'll just have to pound you into a paste and make sure there's nothing left of you to heal!"

Deadpool could help but find this threat amusing as he knew that Scorpion, or anyone else, could follow through with it. Namely, because he had been melted into a puddle before and still regenerated back into a fine picture of health. But never the less, he gets in a fighting stance and points his right index finger at him. "Bring it, you flaming shit speck!" At that moment, the merc realized what he just said and chuckled to himself. "Hehehehe…'flaming.'"

Having had enough of Deadpool's mouth, a frustrated Scorpion runs in and throws a right legged front kick.

Fortunately for Deadpool, he sees this and uses his left leg to throw a front kick of his own, blocking Scorpion's attack and pushing his foot downward. Afterward, Deadpool throws a left jab, which unfortunately is blocked by Scorpion, prompting the merc to go for a right hook.

Naturally, Scorpion holds up his right arm to block and responds by throwing a left cross, to which Deadpool ducks under. The undead ninja then sees the merc to pop up and going for a left hook of his own, forcing Scorpion to not only use his left arm to block the blow but also respond by throwing a left knee strike.

Deadpool, on the other hand, uses both of his arms to block the strike, then throws a left uppercut to which Scorpion leans back to avoid. This does not stop Deadpool from pushing on, and thus throws a right legged round kick, going for the ninja's head.

However, Scorpion instinctively ducks to avoid the kick. As he popped up, he spots Deadpool going for a spinning back fist, forcing the ninja to hold up his left hand to block the blow and grab hold of his wrist. Now having the merc where he wants him, Scorpion uses his other hand to deliver a quick chop to Deadpool's left armpit to stun him, then turns and delivers a low right legged back kick behind Deadpool's knee, causing him to fall to the floor. The still standing Scorpion does not stop there, however, for he soon delivers hard kicks to the merc while he was down.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow," were the words that came out of Deadpool as he took every kick and stomp into his being. Finally, after taking a boot to the face, Deadpool decides that enough is enough. "Okay…bored now," he declared, then uses both hands to catch Scorpion's right foot and turns it hard to the left, causing the ninja to spin wildly and fall to the floor hard. This, of course, allows Deadpool to pop back up on his feet, then walks over to the fallen Scorpion and attempts to stomp on his head to crust his skull.

However, Scorpion saves himself by vanishing in a puff of fire, causing Deadpool to stomp the floor instead. Thus causes Deadpool to grunt in frustration, but at the same time, caught wind of Scorpion's strategy, spins around to see that Scorpion appeared right behind him and throwing a left hook, causing the merc to use his left hand to catch the ninja's wrist, stopping the attack. "Teleporting thing's getting old pal," said Deadpool, then delivers a swift right backhand to Scorpion's face, followed by a right side kick to his side, sending the ninja reeling back.

Though disoriented at first, Scorpion managed to stop himself just in time to see Deadpool running towards and tries to stop him by performing a leg sweep.

But just as he came close enough to his opponent, Deadpool jumped up and went for a jumping left legged round kick. Even though he missed Scorpion's head, he was able to avoid the ninja's sweep. Upon landing on his feet, Deadpool spots Scorpion getting back up on his feet through the corner of his right eye, and thus throws a right spinning back heel kick.

Scorpion, on the other hand, leans back to narrowly avoid the kick, and thus decides to fight back with a new, unusual tactic. Meaning that he pulls off his mask, revealing his fiery skull for a head.

Naturally, this surprised Deadpool, but not as surprising when he spotted the unmasked Scorpion leaning his head back. Sensing that this couldn't be good, lean back and performs three handspring flips as Scorpion breath a large amount of fire, with the merc barely escaping the flames. Finally, Deadpool lands on his feet and stops himself, taking a moment to get his footing. "Hey pal, Ghost Rider called, he wants his fiery head gimmick…" Suddenly, Deadpool looks straight ahead, sees that Scorpion was nowhere to be found. "…back. Great, and I bet that douchebag is now standing right behin-" A split second later, Deadpool received a hard right hook from Scorpion, who by now has his mask back on and appeared right next to the merc on the left side.

This causes the dazed Deadpool to stumble to the wall in a daze. "Okay….little bit different, but you can do better," as Deadpool places his back up against the wall, he looks down and notices something that might be useful…Scorpion's discarded sword on the floor! But before he could make his way over to it, the merc is stopped in his tracks when Scorpion appears rams his forearm into his neck, pressing him up against the wall.

"This ends now!" exclaimed the aggravated Scorpion, tightening his fist so he can fulfill his promise of pounding Deadpool into a liquid.

Despite getting chocked by the ninja's pressing down against his throat, Deadpool managed to give this reply. "Couldn't…agree…more, Skeletor." With that said, Deadpool sneakingly uses his right hand to reach behind the back of his belt and pull out a Desert Eagle hand pistol, all the while briefly turning to the readers once again. "If you haven't seen my fight on Deathbattle, spoiler alert." Moments later, Deadpool turns back to Scorpion, places the barrel in front of the ninja's unnatural pale right eye and pulls the trigger, shooting his eye out and causing him to stagger backward and scream as he held his eye in pain. Now free, Deadpool runs and rolls past Scorpion's right side. Once he was in a kneeling position, Deadpool grabbed the undead's sword with his left hand. He then makes his move by standing up, waits for Scorpion to aimlessly backward towards him, then throws a backhanded slash, taking the ninja's head off of his shoulders. This causes Scorpion's head, his body, and even his sword, to vanish in fiery ash, signifying his return to the Neatherrealm.

For Shiklah, seeing her husband victorious brings a smile to her face and ignites a fire of attraction towards him. However, such feelings vanish when she sees Quan Chi starting to stir and stand back up on his feet, causing her to call out to Deadpool in concern. "WADE!"

Deadpool hears Shiklah cry out to him, forcing him to turn and see Quan Chi fully recovered, forming a giant, green skull from his glowing hand and hurling it towards him. Deadpool managed to jump and flip over the skull easily enough, then responded by firing two bullets at the sorcerer.

Surprisingly though, the two bullets did not hit Quan Chi at all. In fact, they both passed him right by, all which left him to point both of his glowing hands at the merc and use his magic lift him up off of the floor and up into the air. Now having the merc in his grasp, the pale-skinned sorcerer let his irritation known by slamming Deadpool into the floor three times before bringing him towards him mentally. "I have heard of you, Deadpool," said Quan Chi, looking unimpressed. "However, I must admit you disappoint me. Did you really think that such pitiful weapons such as guns would be enough to stop me? And even if they were, it's pathetic that you couldn't even make those shots count."

Quan Chi's confidence soon lowers when he hears the voice of Shiklah and sounding very angry. "Oh, but he did." This caused the confused sorcerer to turn around, and what he sees now has him consumed with fear. Namely that it was Shiklah, now free from her bonds after Deadpool's bullets hit and opened her cuffs, indicating that they were the real targets. This, of course, leads to the enlarged Shiklah to transform from her beautiful human form…to that of a giant, winged purple monster, one that has even Quan Chi trembling. Finally, after letting out a loud, animalistic roar of pure rage, the now monstrous Shiklah lifts both fists into the air and smashes Quan Chi into the floor, splattering his blood everywhere and causing Deadpool to drop to the floor. After pulling her fists away from what was left of the sorcerer, Shiklah soon walks over to her husband, and in the process, reverts back to her stunningly attractive humanoid form.

Deadpool looks up to see Shiklah standing above him and holding her hand out, and was glad to see that she was okay…as well as being aroused by her figure. "Thanks, babe," he told her, taking her hand and allowing her to use her strength to help him back to his feet. "But who exactly is saving who here? I'd thought for sure you would've run to safety after I shot your cuffs."

"You know that's not my style, Wade Wilson," Shiklah retorted, the grabs and lifts the lower part of his mask. "Just as this is my way of showing gratitude." With that said, Shiklah pulls Deadpool in and kisses him on the lips passionately. Naturally, her kiss begins to suck the life out of him literally, but Deadpool himself didn't seem to mind. Because A, his healing factor would take care of it, and B, he saw this as an indicator that he would receive a different kind of 'action' as a reward for saving his wife's life. Either way, the Merc with a Mouth considered it a good day.

-The End-

Back in the real world, I finally stop typing and lean back in my chair, letting out a breath of relief after writing such a mentally exhausting story. But as I turn my chair around so I can get up and get something to eat, I see Deadpool himself standing right before he, and he didn't seem too pleased. "AAHHH! What the hell?! How did you get in here?

Deadpool pops his knuckles before answering my question. "Oh, I've got my ways," he replied, then used his left hand to grab my shirt. "And boy do have ways of hurting you for writing me in such a shitty way! But first!"

Deadpool then turns to you, the reader, and puts his right

index finger on the power button. "Storie over, kids!" At that point, Deadpool pressed the button, causing the screen to go black as I scream like a little girl.