Blame the ridiculously sad songs on my iPod.
Disclaimer:
I think this is already obvious, but, Richelle Mead owns the Vampire Academy and all of the characters yada, yada, yada… enjoy.
See footnote for A/N and explanation.
Chapter One: Hot Damn (Revised)
Rose
That 'wherever she goes I go' rule got old pretty fast. Just when I thought we were finished, just when I thought we were free, I ended up back at school for round two.
Drone on oh fat literature teacher, the only thing that made this day slightly tolerable was that this was our last day before spring break. Hallelujah. These damned freshmen entry courses were going to be the death of me. That and Lissa said she had a surprise for me, and, for once, I had no idea what it was. For a little over a month now, she has been hiding something, something big, and it was slowly killing me not to know.
She was getting increasingly better at hiding her thoughts from me through the bond. Not that I really minded when it came to her and Sparky's personal lives, but right now it was driving me crazy. Lately, I had been attempting to give her space and let her come to me when she was ready, but damn, if that weren't soon, I would shake it out of her.
"Turn to page 394…" our professor intoned, opening up his own book and breaking me from my thoughts. Snapping my head up towards the front of the classroom where our slightly balding professor sat on the edge of his desk already thumbing through the enormous book. Hurriedly, I dug through my bag in search of the damnable literature and art book… Feeling successful as I pulled it from my bag followed by a sprinkle of peppermint wrappers. Now, about that page number...? Lissa, seeing my distress, mouthed the page number to me. Small victories, Rose. Small victories. I reminded myself.
"… Notice that this particular painting was crafted by a Russian artist whose name has been lost over time. Not uncommon of this period. World War II saw to the destruction and anonymity of many works. Take note that the man depicted in the painting can be assumed to be Russian as well, considering his angular and dark features such as eyes and hair…." My stomach gave a strange flop as a familiar face graced my memory. I closed my eyes against the strain of memories and the all too familiar bittersweet taste that came with them. Slowly, letting out a breath, I willed myself to calm, pulling myself back together. Gradually I opened my eyes, revealing a worried Lissa, who had obviously caught onto where my thoughts had gone.
'You okay?' Lissa asked through the bond. I dipped my head in acknowledgment before I turned back to the book on my desk, avoiding her sympathy.
As usual, I was in tune with her emotions, and I watched them change like colors distracting me from my own thoughts. First was anger, which wasn't uncommon when this subject came up, then, of course, the never-ending sympathy that all but drove me nuts, and the…. guilt? Guilt about what?
I focused on the bond trying to unravel the loose threads. Waves of sympathy were crashing into me, her feelings conflicted with one another in confusion, but the guilt she felt was overwhelming. Before I could investigate further, she threw up a wall blocking me from her thoughts. I gave out an annoyed huff. Apologetically, she met my glare and mouthed 'later'. Well, maybe I was getting somewhere.
Eventually, Lissa had found out, and at first, she had been angry, very angry. She couldn't understand why I hadn't told her right away, but we moved past it after many deep breaths and a few tubs of ice cream. It was a relief, in a way, to finally have it out in the open, even if she, Adrian, and Eddie were the only ones who knew, at least to some extent. It was nice to see that I wasn't completely alone, but they couldn't understand half of it. They didn't understand what the battle had done. Knowing the details was a very separate notion from understanding. Dimitri being gone was only a part of the hurt and confusion that I lived in.
It wasn't long before we were dismissed. To say I was relieved would have been an understatement. The second semester of our freshman year was finally winding down and I would not be sad to see it go.
I shuffled us along towards the bus stop, taking my position right next to her. Exchanging nods with the few guardians stationed around campus along the way. While this may not be a Moroi college, many Moroi attend school here because of its relative closeness to court.
We had been caught between both human and Moroi schedules for a while, when it was possible, we followed a Moroi schedule, but with classes, it was just more comfortable, and not to mention safer, to be on human time. We scheduled night classes when the opportunity arose but preferred the inconvenience of the sun over the risks that came with the night.
I needed to run. I could feel the strain vibrating through my legs, the need to release the tension that had been building in me all day before it exploded. But of course, my thoughts followed wherever I went. Giving a sigh, I had to acknowledge how pathetic I was at times. I needed to move on and get past it. He certainly has- had long before I realized, my bitter inner monologue reminded me. The problem was that it was easier said than done.
~oOo~
*** Lissa ***
I hated it. All of it, she didn't deserve this. For the first time that I could remember, it was as if she had lost a part of herself, and that tore me to pieces. Rose had been through so much this year.
A very selfish part of me was offended for not being enough to fill the void but seeing Rose the way she was usually shut that up. I was about to make things so much worse. But then again, a small portion of me couldn't help to think that this has been long overdue.
It had been ten months since he left, ten months of a Rose that was not quite Rose, ten months of slowly coaxing her back to life. And she still wasn't there yet, but, slowly, at times, it seemed like we were getting her back. But it was moments like this that I wasn't so sure. She had completely shut herself off to the world, lost to her own thoughts. Her senses were on high alert- forever the perfect Guardian, I knew that if I so much as flinched, she'd move to me, but the part that was Rose- my friend- was lost to oblivion. I didn't use much Spirit these days in fear of these moments. I was afraid that it would only add to everything that she had to deal with, and I had to do whatever it took to bring her out of this. It was my turn to protect her.
My own thoughts were in a whirl thinking of ways that I could break the news to her, and none of them were going to be easier than the next.
I knew the second that we got back to the house she would trade shifts with Darren, my second guardian, his replacement, run to her room to change, and leave to go running like she did every day. It was part of her routine, a routine that hasn't been broken for ten months. I could see it in her that she was ready to burst with tension.
I would have to tell her before she went. God, I wish this wasn't happening. I wish Rose would have just let me tell Christian in the first place and all of this could have avoided. A perfectly good surprise ruined by one phone call. I don't know why I waited so long to tell her. It wasn't like I hadn't had the opportunity to. It was just… Lately, she had been acting so much like the old Rose that I was afraid to see her disappear again. She would have to pay for my selfishness. I wanted to cry.
The worst part of this is that all these years that Rose has protected me, doing everything in her power to make everything okay for me, and the one time she needed someone to make it okay for her… I could only make it worse. A small part of me had to hope that this could be for the best. I was at a point where there wasn't much else for me to do no matter how hard I had tried. For the past ten months, I had only been able to catch glimpses of the Rose I knew and loved. I had to hope that he could fix her, or force her to deal with whatever it was that she was going through, as much as she would hate it, I knew he was the only one with a chance in this situation. I was scared for her.
"Lissa! Enough! You have to tell me what's going on, you are starting to make me nervous." Rose erupted, cutting my pity session short. I took a deep breath. It was now or never. I was a coward for telling her here, sitting on the bus on the way to our car surrounded by onlookers.
"Good news or bad news first?" I asked, defeated. I watched her face the entire time, making sure I wouldn't miss anything. Stupid one-way bond.
"Good news, I guess." She said after a moment. A spark of excitement surged through me. This was her surprise.
"We are going on a road trip to Florida for spring break, but no Guardian business for you or Eddie. Just a fun, relaxing, two-week vacation for all of us including Adrian and Mia!" I squeaked excitedly, and just like I had expected, her face lit up like it was Christmas morning.
I had spent weeks and weeks planning this out and had to pull a hell of a lot of strings, but I did it. If anyone deserved this trip, it was Rose.
"No! Seriously? Lissaaa! Please, tell me this isn't a joke?" She looked to me astonished, too excited to believe what I had said, and it was at my nod of confirmation that she let out a little squeal of delight. I laughed.
"Two weeks of beach time with my best friend and her weird ass lover? How lucky am I!" She pulled me to her in a bone-crushing hug giddy with excitement. "Wait! Two weeks?" She exclaimed, her face morphing with confusion, "What about classes? Spring break is only next week…" She trailed off, thinking of everything per-usual.
I scoffed, dismissing her concern with a wave of my hand. "Its just one week of class, Rose and most of it will be prep for finals. We already turned in our papers. Relax, would you? This trip is long overdue."
She laughed, "Never did I think I would see the day where you would voluntarily skip class." She snorted as I shoved her lightly. "When do we leave?" she asked, her excitement re-emerging.
And here came the bad news. Seeing my expression, her enthusiasm dimmed noticeably. "What? Just spit it out Liss, I promise I won't be mad at you. I can handle it." She said with confidence that I wish I had.
"To answer your question, we'll leave tomorrow night if everything goes as planned," I answered, too afraid to get straight to the point. Rose threw her arm around my shoulders trying to comfort me.
"It's okay Liss, whatever it is I will take care of it, but I can't do that if you don't tell me what it is," Rose reassured. Worried about me as usual, totally misinterpreting my feelings.
"It's not me I am worried about here," I muttered. Her expression changing only slightly at this admission. I took a deep breath. "Rose, I don't know how to tell you this, so I am just going to say it." She gave me a hesitant smile, encouraging me to continue. Damn it. "Rose, two weeks ago, Christian got a phone call… from Tasha." I felt her body lock up next to mine, and her arm slipped from around my shoulders and fell to her lap, but she didn't say anything, so I continued. "And, well, long story short, he invited her and Dimitri to come on vacation with us." I rushed out the end, hoping it was too fast for her to hear his name. I didn't need to look up at her to know that she had, in fact, listened to every word that I had just said.
"When are they coming?" She asked, her voice flat.
"Tonight," I whispered back.
She sucked in a sharp breath a look of barely controlled emotion crossed her face before slipping away entirely. I knew she was someplace far away, remembering. And I was quiet, letting her be the next one who spoke.
*** Rose ***
Flashback
I walked into the gym for what I knew would be one of my last times. I had dressed in sweats, fully intending to have my last training session with Dimitri before we packed up and left for Court.
I could barely believe it. I had made it. I, Rosemarie Hathaway, had graduated, and I was now a guardian. I touched the still bandaged marks over the back of my neck, feeling only a slight twinge thinking of the tattoo that had come after the battle. Within a few weeks, I would be Lissa's guardian. I couldn't hide the smile on my face even if I tried. I did it. I had made it- despite everyone's thoughts. Despite everything that had happened. Things were undoubtedly falling into place, better than I could ever expect them to.
Someone cleared their throat behind me bringing me out of my reverie. Turning, I knew it would be him. His presence tended to fill any room. My smile only grew as I looked upon his face for the first time in two days. My heart seemed to stutter, no matter how many times I had taken him in. He had been called out on some "official guardian business" right after graduation, and I hadn't seen him since. Two days had felt entirely too long. Moving so that he stood right in front of me, his head tilted down so we could look into each other's eyes. With his hair framing his face, he had never looked more beautiful. I wrapped my arms around his waist and buried my face into his chest, inhaling the sharp, clean scent of his aftershave trying to commit it to memory. For a moment, he brought me tightly into his chest, his arms coming around me so that he could run his fingers through my hair once before hesitating and stepping back, holding me at arm's length.
I looked up smiling, but his returning smile was strained.
"What's wrong?" I questioned before he could speak.
"Rose," Dimitri replied haltingly, "I have something that we need to talk about." His voice so severe that I immediately sobered- my smile disappearing entirely. He gestured for me to sit, and I did. Following my lead, he folded himself neatly onto the mats across from me.
"Okay, what is it?" I prompted immediately. A nervous feeling settled into the pit of my stomach, I swallowed not allowing it to rise into my throat. Anything that made Dimitri look like this was going to be bad.
He sighed, and with great effort, said, "Rose, I won't be coming with you to Court."
Just as naive as I have always been accused of being, I didn't understand right away what he was trying to say. Against my will, a lump formed in my throat, and my eyes prickled even though I didn't understand. My body had registered his words before I had.
"Care to elaborate?" I asked, speaking around the tight feeling in my throat.
Beginning to feel confined, I drew my arms to my chest.
His face twisted in an unusual way, almost as if it hurt him to say the words, "I got a call from Natasha Ozera a couple of days ago and …." Those words brought me back to a harsh reality.
I held my hand up, cutting him off abruptly. He didn't need to say anything else. He was leaving me, leaving all of us. I felt a single tear slide down my cheek, but I refused to give it notice. He reached out to wipe it away, but I jerked my head back before he could touch me. Flinching, he dropped his hand.
"How could you?" There was nothing I could have done to hide the pain in my voice, the absolute betrayal, and clearly, it hurt him just as badly to say as it hurt me to hear, but I wasn't going to stop to acknowledge his pain.
"Roza..." He began, correcting himself at my glare, "Rose, you have to let me explain, this is not about her. I don't want to leave just as much as you don't want me to go, but it's what needs to happen." He pleaded, his voice breaking. His eyes begging for understanding that I didn't have.
More tears instantly gathered in my eyes making my vision blurry. A thousand things ran across my mind at once. The nervous sensation was gone, replaced by a sick feeling. He couldn't.
My heart shattered when I looked back to his sad eyes and knew that he was telling the truth. "Then don't! For once in your life do what you want to Dimitri! You can't leave… " I trailed off, not wanting to finish. 'You can't leave me' was what I had started to say.
"I have to. I can't do what I want, you know I can't," he responded, the look of sadness leaving in the face of responsibility.
My first instinct was to deny it, but in my heart, I knew. He was leaving me for her, someone who could give him everything. It was always her. Regardless of what he said, it was still her. Even after everything..
Words tumbled from my lips before I even knew what I was saying. "You promised that you would be here for me. You said that you loved me." I said, breaking off in a whisper. I knew I sounded like a broken little girl, but my brain was on autopilot trying to think of something, anything, and I wasn't in total control. I could not make sense of the world around me.
"I do…" I cut him off there-deciding that I couldn't stand to hear what he had to say next.
"Don't. Don't finish that sentence if you value my sanity." I said finally feeling anger in my whirlwind of emotions. I couldn't stand to listen to him explain how he might have loved me, but it wasn't enough. Not in comparison to what she could offer. Not in the face of duty. I felt sick. My eyes burned, and it was becoming more difficult to talk, but I needed to know.
"Why? After everything that has happened, you're really going to leave?" I asked, my voice coming out hoarse, not being able to mention the battle by name, despite knowing that this would serve little purpose. His mind was made up.
"Rose, I can't hold you back any more than I already have. I can't let myself be selfish with you. You don't deserve that. This isn't about me and you anymore. I have to do my job. What life could I ever offer you? How fair would that be to you, Rose? I can only take away from you. You are such a great person, and you've already proved that you are a wonderful Guardian. I can't take that away from you too. The possibility of taking you from Lissa is too great. I owe you my life after what happened in the caves, so in return, I am giving you yours back. You have so much up ahead. In the fall you will be headed to college with Lissa and Christian, an experience you should have without me there to tie you down. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself for taking away the life that you truly deserve. I am so sorry, Roza. Trust me this will be better for both of us." He finished with a sigh. His words sounded rehearsed and used with his Guardian mask fully intact, but that didn't hide the remorse in his eyes. He didn't believe a word he just said, and we both knew it.
I considered him for a long moment, the shock leaving me speechless. Two days ago, I had graduated. Two days ago, I had woken up in his quarters. An eternity seemed to have passed between that moment and this one. "The problem is, Dimitri, I did trust you." I finally managed to croak out.
The sadness in his eyes turned to hurt. His hand twitched in his lap as if he wanted to reach out and comfort me, but he didn't. I felt a lot of things but nothing more than betrayed. And sick.
The weight of his words crushed me. I felt small looking up to him. Dimitri was leaving me, for good. As I tried to settled the enormity of that, something within me seemed to crack. I didn't want him to see the pain he was causing me, I didn't want him to see me weak, but there wasn't much I could hide from the man who could read me so easily. I wanted this moment to exist forever and end immediately all in the same breath.
I dropped my gaze from his intense stare. "Cut the crap, Dimitri," I said feeling my anger grow reveling in the absurdity of what he was telling me, "You know what? You are right. This isn't about me and you anymore, this is about you being too afraid. I took the risk. I want this, you don't get to decide for me too. Do what you have to do, Dimitri, but don't sit here and tell me that you are only doing this for me. Because we both know that's not true. If you want to leave, say that. Tell me it's you that wants to go," I snapped half pleading, not caring how unreasonable I sounded. I was desperate to understand. I couldn't quite read the expression that shadowed his eyes, but I knew, at the very least, that I had made him angry. Good.
I stood up abruptly, turning my back to him, unable to sit down any longer. It was then I realized how badly I wanted to run, to escape this nightmare.
Dimitri training 101: what do you do when fighting is not an option? You run.
My words hung in the air suffocating us both. They hadn't done a damn bit of good, and whatever brief satisfaction I had felt at saying the words were washed away with the new flood of tears that clouded my eyes. I knew he was standing behind me but still, I didn't turn to face him. I didn't want him to see the tears that ran freely down my cheeks and onto my shirt.
Suddenly his hand was on my shoulder forcing me to turn and face him. The only way out was through, it seemed. I braced myself as I examined him, something glistened in his eyes. If I didn't know him, I would have said it was the gleam of the gym lights, but because I did, I knew that they were tears. Tears that would never be shed, or at least not here, because the moment he blinked they were gone. For the smallest of seconds, I thought he was going to bring me into his arms and tell me that he didn't mean any of it, but wishful thinking got me nowhere. Feeling stupid, I hastily ran my sleeve across my face, smearing both tears and the makeup that I rarely wore across it.
I had expected a response from him but what I didn't expect was his anger. He had snapped. "What? You think this is easy for me? That I like doing this to you? That this feels good to me? If it didn't happen now, it would just be further down the road, when it would be harder to leave. I would love to run away with you and never be seen again! But I can't do that! I can't love you anymore! Things will only become more difficult for us from here, and I won't drag you into that. I can't do this anymore. Someone has to be the adult here, Rose, and it's time for you to realize that because the sooner you do, the easier things will be for you." His voice level and thickly accented, cut into me and I flinched away. It was the final blow, and we both knew it. There was an expression of both sorrow and regret on his face, but he made no move to take the words back.
He had made his decision, and nothing I did or said would change that. This was over, as bewildering as that was to me at the moment, and I didn't have a say in it. I looked at him hard, the tears finally stopping. He wasn't perfect at this moment, I realized thinking it odd. He was breathing hard despite the composed expression on his face. My mind flashed briefly to the dark mouth of the cave and I could feel his limp weight heavy, too heavy, against me nearly collapsing me as I staggard us backward, and I closed my eyes refusing the thought altogether. Finally, I nodded. He needed to get away, that, at the least, was something I understood.
I wanted to stay angry, but I knew I couldn't because my irrational anger had no place in this. How could I be angry at him for doing what was best for him? How could I not want him to have everything? Because I was selfish, I wanted him to have everything with me. I loved him. But did I love him enough to let him go? If I ever expected to make it out of this, I had to let that go, to let him go.
Instead of screaming and begging like I wanted to, I took a deep breath and made the hardest decision of my life. "I can't be selfish either…." My voice broke ", and yeah, I'm sorry too. Goodbye, Dimitri." I didn't wait for his response. I just turned around without glancing back, letting the tears fall freely. It wasn't until I got to the door that I heard him murmur, "Goodbye, Roza. Take care of yourself."
I ran. I ran until I was safely behind the building before sliding down the wall, unable to stand anymore. I brought my knees into my chest, trying to squeeze myself into a ball and disappear altogether.
It didn't take too long for Lissa to find me. I hadn't even felt her coming through the bond. She gasped, horrified at the sight of my present condition, causing me to lift my head to acknowledge her arrival. No questions were asked. She just slid down next to me and wrapped her arms around my body as I cried into her. We stayed that way for a while but eventually, Lissa forced me to my feet and brought us to my dorm where she demanded that I tell her everything. I started at the battle, doing my best to explain.
End Flashback
There were still so many things that I didn't understand about that last encounter with Dimitri, but it was clear enough that he didn't think that we should be together. I sighed, feeling a mix of emotions. I hadn't really seen him save for a few awkward run-ins at court. I didn't know how I would handle seeing him again for any real length of time.
Lissa nudged my arm gently bringing me back to her. When I looked around, I noticed the bus had stopped at student parking.
"Come on, Rose. Let's go." Lissa said softly. Slowly I got out of the seat, Lissa following me. We were quiet all the way until we got to our car, a red Jeep Patriot. A graduation gift from Liss.
It wasn't until we were both buckled and I had the car in drive that Lissa spoke. "Rose, I am so sorry. Don't be mad. Please tell me what you are thinking." She rushed out all at once.
I sighed, considering just blowing off her question but I couldn't. The look of total concern and guilt on her face made me tell her the truth. And the wave of her emotions hitting me may have had something to do with it.
"A lot of things at once. I don't really know what to think, Liss. I never imagined I would be put in this situation. He…" I paused, realizing that I never actually spoke his name anymore, "Dimitri has been gone for nearly a year now, Liss, and I still feel like he just left yesterday. It shouldn't be that way. I should be over him. I should be able to keep a straight face when his name is brought up. I should be able to move on without feeling guilty. Hell, I should at least be able to say his name!" I ranted, my voice rising in volume.
I took a deep breath, hating how weak I sounded.
"But I can't. Not without seeing his face, not without feeling the pain in the center of my chest- a constant reminder of what I don't have." I heaved out.
I put the car back into park, not able to drive and have this conversation at the same time. I rested my head on the steering wheel feeling helpless. I needed to be strong.
"Do you hate him?" She asked softly, totally catching me off guard.
I froze, not knowing how to answer. "I, uh, well, no. No, I don't hate him. I hate how invaluable he made me feel, I hate that he left, I hate that he chose her, but, no, I don't hate him." And the more I thought about it, the more I knew that what I said was true. I anything but hated Dimitri. I resented him sometimes but totally hate him? Never.
"Do you love him?" Through the bond, I saw that she had wanted to ask this question for a long time but never thought she could. There were so many things that I hadn't told her following the breakup. It wasn't her fault that she didn't know. It shouldn't be that way. She should be able to talk to me about anything and everything.
A wedge formed in my throat but I forced it away. "I don't want to," I answered honestly. My eyes prickled but I knew the tears wouldn't come. Hadn't for a long time.
Lissa reached over and pulled my hand into hers willing me to look at her. "Rose, if you love him, love him. If you feel sad, be sad. But let it go. You can't keep this bottled up anymore." And I knew she was right.
"I know, but it's hard. I feel so trapped." I whispered back
Overwhelming guilt poured through the bond, washing over me. I sighed.
"Lissa… stop blaming yourself, you didn't invite them…. I can't even blame Sparky," I said with a smile trying to lighten the tension. "Which is a damn shame." Lissa cracked a smile, but it quickly disappeared.
"Rose you don't always have to be so strong you know. You don't have to go through this alone. You have me and Eddie to back you up. And lord knows you have Adrian wrapped around your finger."
I couldn't help but laugh. I had great people in my life who loved me. I just wish I could always see that.
Lissa's smile returned lighting up her face. "I like that."
"Like what?" I asked, confused by the sudden turn in conversation.
"Hearing you laugh. It's been a while."
Suddenly I was the one who felt guilty. A lot had happened to me since the battle, but that didn't make it okay for me to put everyone else's life on hold for the sake of my unhappiness. I couldn't remember the last time Lissa, and I had had a real girl's night out.
She missed me, missed her friend.
I couldn't believe I had missed that. I didn't even need to check the bond to know that. It was written clearly across her face. Wondering what else I had missed out on, I decided that this would stop. I had numbed myself to the point where the bond was no longer as effective as it once was. I had to figure out a better way to cope, because clearly regardless of what I hid, it wasn't enough to keep Lissa from being affected. I had to find a way to put it behind me. What Dimitri and I had was great, but this was so much bigger than just him.
"God Liss, I am so sorry. I am not going to lie. I hurt, every day, but I am trying. When Dimitri left, I lost a piece of myself, and it's not something that I can get back. It's not just about him, it's... more. After the battle… well," I stopped, knowing that I wouldn't be able to explain it. "I tried, but the more I tried to ignore the missing piece, the more I got lost. I feel so stupid. You don't have to worry because I will put this behind me." I said with determination, meaning it.
She gave me a half-smile, "Rose, you don't need to apologize for being human, more or less. Not even you can ignore a broken heart. These things take time. Just don't shut me out. I want to help if you'll let me. And besides, no one blames you for how you acted. We all understand. We just want you to be happy again, and you don't need Dimitri for that. I wish I had your strength sometimes. You are so strong and beautiful that I forget. Any man would be lucky to have you in his life, and just because Dimitri was the love of your life doesn't mean that he will be the only love in your life. All of us love you, Rose. Don't forget that." For the first time in a long time, I gave her a real smile. I could let her believe that it was as simple as a broken heart, it was easier that way.
"Thanks, Liss," I said bringing her into a hug. She hugged me back tighter and, through the bond, I saw how truly happy she was to have finally talked this out. I would have to make sure that I kept tabs on that. "You know, I am fortunate to have you," I told her honestly.
She laughed outright. "You are so backward." She said still laughing. "Now if you don't mind, I would like to get home and start packing for our trip."
Suddenly my excitement from earlier returned. This was just what we needed: a break. Yeah, so not exactly like planned, but I refused to let this trip be ruined.
"What do you say we go and get a movie for tonight?" I asked.
Surprised she raised her eyebrows. "Yeah, that sounds great, but aren't you going running?"
I thought about it for a moment. "No. Not today." I said with a smile.
She returned my smile. "It's good to have you back."
I winked "Stick around, and we'll see about that."
Ten minutes later we found ourselves at a Redbox, otherwise known as God's gift to broke college students, debating on what movie to get. Neither of us wanted a tearjerker movie, but a romantic comedy had not been ruled out. Twenty-five minutes, one movie, and some snacks and groceries later, we were on our way home, listening to the mix CD Lissa had made for me.
The advantage of having a house on campus was being able to be home in a matter of minutes. I pulled into the grass seeing as some poor soul parked in my usual spot in the driveway. The truck didn't belong to Adrian, Eddie, or Christian. Lucky for them. They knew not to take up the entire freaking driveway.
Lissa and I managed to unload the car in one trip. It wasn't until we got to the door that we had met our match. With our arms full of grocery bags, there was no way for either of us to open the door.
So I did the logical thing, "CHRISTIAN! HURRY UP AND OPEN THE DAMN DOOR!" I yelled loudly, kicking the door repeatedly. Lissa shot me an annoyed look. I shrugged innocently. "I wanted to make sure he could hear me," I explained as she rolled her eyes.
The door swung open revealing an irritated Christian. "A little louder Rose, I don't think they heard you at court!" With a smirk I shoved him aside, making my way into the kitchen, and dropped the bags on the counter.
Eddie sat at the table, with my broken alarm clock and a screwdriver, looking frustrated.
"Having trouble?" I teased. He grunted in response and kept fiddling with the alarm clock.
I stuck my head in the fridge in search of something to settle the gnawing in my stomach, but having no luck, grabbed a bottle of water and hopped up onto the counter.
"So, what seems to be the problem Mr. Fix It?" I asked, gesturing towards my once alarm.
Eddie set the screwdriver down gently and sighed. "Rose, I don't know how to tell you this but…" He looked up at me faking distress, pausing for dramatic effect "I am afraid that we lost another, due to your alarm clock abuse. Rose, you have a problem. This needs to stop." A grin tugged at the corner of his mouth ruining his serious moment.
I laughed. "Hey, I told Liss to stop setting my alarms a long time ago. The abuse is her fault." Eddie smiled, full-on pleased by my mood.
"Hey," I said, cutting off whatever he was about to say, "who the hell took up the entire driveway?" I asked narrowing my eyes at him and then Christian.
Eddie's face fell, and two things happened at once. Lissa gasped from her spot at the door, dropping the bags that she held in her arms, sending both me and Darren into action, and three different people said my name at the same time. Darren had made his way over to Lissa quicker than I could so I held my place. One voice had been Eddie, low and warning. The second voice was high-pitched and excited. The third came out as more of a breath, but it was one I would know anywhere. I stood still, facing Eddie, not having decided what would be my next move.
Before I could stop myself, I slowly turned around to face the owner of the third voice. Time seemed to slow down. Eddie moved to stand behind me protectively, while Lissa stood frozen on the opposite side of the island looking anxious. Darren and Christian continued to gather the spilled bags, oblivious to the tension in the room.
I drew in a sharp breath of air that served little purpose in terms of breathing and calming down. I could feel my pulse pounding in my ears. Dimitri.
Finally, I was faced with his familiar brown eyes. My breath caught in my throat, all my resolve crumbling away as his gaze locked on mine. I couldn't bring myself to count how many times I had imagined our reunion. None of them were like this.
My heart seemed to stutter in my chest as I took in his appearance. It didn't matter how many times I had told myself that he didn't affect me, it was evident at this moment that he did. That same pulling sensation was there, urging us together.
An unexpected feeling welled up in my chest. I was filled with sudden relief as I took in his tall figure with my own eyes. All the nights I had woken up panicked, not knowing where he was... I had told myself countless times that he didn't matter, but he did. In every way imaginable and I knew it. After not hearing from him in almost a year, my eyes drank in his dark features. His dark soft hair was shorter than it was ten months ago but long enough to hang about his chiseled face. He stood frozen in the entrance of the hall, his tall figure tense with apprehension.
Clearly, Christian had passed on the message that we needed to pass for college kids. It had been the Queen's most adamant requirement of letting the last Dragomir move from Court, no one could know or suspect us. Something that was never a problem for us because we were indeed college students, it apparently was not a problem for Dimitri or Tasha either.
With the duster missing, he was dressed in simple brown cargo shorts, green Nike runners, and a thin grey polo t-shirt. Dimitri pulled the look off perfectly, even at his height. Heck, raise his shorts to an inch above his knees and give him a pair of leather flip-flops and he would be a frat boy.
After what could have been years, Dimitri made to move towards me, and I mimicked his actions only to have Eddie step with me. His hand on my shoulder made me come to my surroundings.
The entire house was silent, even Tasha, which was strange because as I recalled she never had a problem with intruding on my moments in the past.
"Roza I…." Was all Dimitri had time to say before the door of Eddie's bedroom opened and out walked Adrian Ivashkov in all of his drunken glory.
"Hot damn," Adrian slurred as his gaze landed on Dimitri, "Who let the Russian in?" He asked, shooting an accusing glare towards Christian.
A/N: Mostly important stuff that you probably want to read ;) i.e., Explanation of story and necessary background information. I try not to drone on too long.
I decided to make my own Dimitri leaves Rose for Tasha story, but fear not I am a serious Rose and Dimitri lover. Fanatic is more accurate, but I digress.
I was tired of feeling bitter and judgmental towards other alternate endings of Shadow Kiss fanfictions, and decided to take matters into my own hands and just write my own. I went out of my way to avoid the clichés that are typical of this type of fanfiction.
You will find that this fic is written in both Dimitri and Rose's perspective, and all the characters we love most are present. I don't prolong their reunion. Neither Rose nor Dimitri are immature in their feelings. I don't mince words or beat around the bush. I began this fanfiction to primarily explore characters that I hold very dear to my heart and to right a wrong.
I miss the Vampire Academy and with this fanfiction I wanted to extend a well-loved story and take time to explore the what ifs and the what could have been.
Join me on this journey.
Background:
This is an alternate ending to Shadow Kiss. Things ended a little differently after the battle in the caves at St. Vlads. Rose is able to graduate with Dimitri being present. Plans after graduation did not pan out as expected and Dimitri makes his departure. 10 months later they are reunited under unexpected circumstances. The gang- sans Dimitri- is attending Penn. State (PSU) in Pennsylvania. The rest will be explained along the way.
Feedback, of any type, is always welcomed and appreciated.
BETAed by Rachel104, the perfecter of this story. I don't think I will ever be able to thank her properly for her wonderful work!