In the Golden Oak Library, Twilight was looking at a scroll. She had received it earlier from Princess Celestia. She noticed two silhouette ponies with arrows pointing at each other on the scroll. There was some text, but Twilight couldn't make out entirely what it said.

"Hey, Deadpool," Shouted Twilight.

"Yeah?" Asked Deadpool.

"Can you come here for a second?"

Deadpool came upstairs from the living room, and stood in front of Twilight.

"Can you help me with something?" Asked Twilight.

"Sure," Replied Deadpool.

"I got this new spell from Celestia this morning."

Twilight showed Deadpool the scroll.

"What kind of spell is it?" Asked Deadpool.

"Don't know. I was hoping you could be my test subject," Said Twilight.

"Okay. Got nothing better to do anyway."

(Hold up, partner. It's situations like this that cause the conflict in a story, and, no offense to Twilight, normally smart characters have to make dumb decisions in order to move the plot along.)

While Deadpool was listening to the voice in his head, Twilight grabbed some chalk using telekinesis from her magic, and drew two big circles on the floor. One was on the left side of the library while the other was on the right.

"Stand in that circle on the right. I will be in this one and cast the spell," Instructed Twilight.

Once they got in the circles, Twilight's horn lit up, casting the spell. Two red beams of light rose from the circles. Suddenly, Deadpool and Twilight felt migraines, the pain was indescribable. As quickly as they came, the migraines stopped, and Twilight and Deadpool fainted on the spot.

"Twilight? Deadpool?"

Spike heard the commotion, and tried to wake his friends up. Slowly, Deadpool opened his eyes.

"Twilight! Are you alright?!" Asked Spike.

"Twilight? I think you mixed my name up, squirt. I'm not Twi-"

Deadpool looked down, and saw his forelegs were a mulberry color.

"What the...?"

Deadpool got up from the floor. He turned to his right, and saw himself looking right at him.

"Ahhhhhhhhh!"

Twilight and Deadpool freaked out when they realized they were in each other's bodies. Spike was also freaking out.

"What are you doing in my body?!" Asked Deadpool.

"What are you doing in mine?!" Asked Twilight in reply.

"Um, guys, what is going on?" Asked Spike.

"Hmm, the spell I used, it must have been a body switching spell," Reasoned Twilight.

"So this is like 'Freaky Friday'? There's a reverse spell, right?" Asked Deadpool.

"Let me study the scroll again."

For what felt like an hour, Twilight was reading the scroll's text. Finally, she stopped and looked at Deadpool.

"There's no reverse spell on here," Said Twilight.

"What?! No! No! No! I am not going to be stuck like this!" Said Deadpool.

"I don't want to be stuck in your body either." Twilight caught a whiff of an acrid smell from Deadpool's mask, causing her to gag. "Eww! Your mask smells like sweat and cherrychangas!"

Deadpool just shrugged his shoulders.

"Look, I will tell Celestia what happened and see if she has a reverse spell," Said Twilight.

"Fine," Muttered Deadpool.

"Good. Come with me, Spike."

Twilight and Spike went upstairs. Spike had a puzzled look on his face about the situation.

"So, Twilight is in my body, and I'm in hers. I can already foresee some awkward shit happening. Wait, I just thought of something."

Deadpool went downstairs, headed towards the bathroom, and shut the door.

"Ooh, I look nice!" Said Deadpool on the other side of the door.

"Deadpool? Where are you?" Asked Twilight.

Her voice was heard from downstairs. Deadpool ran out of the bathroom and up the stairs.

"I'm here! So, uh, did the Princess have a solution?" Asked Deadpool.

"She sent us this scroll."

Twilight showed Deadpool said scroll.

"Of course she sent a scroll. It's never a stone tablet or file," Grumbled Deadpool.

"It appears the way to reverse our problem isn't with a spell, but with a potion," Said Twilight.

"Really? Weird. What do we need?"

"We'll need black iris, sapphire powder, and a cragadile tooth."

"Easy shmeezy. We'll just get that stuff, and we'll be back in our bodies in no time… I just realized something: if you're in my body, does that mean you have my powers?"

…

"Hello?"

…

"Where are they? They usually say something by now."

"Who are you talking to, Deadpool?"Asked Twilight.

(He's talking to us, Miss.)

"Um, who said that?" Asked Twilight nervously.

(He did.)

"Ahh!"

"What?" Asked Deadpool.

"I'm hearing voices in my head!"

"Oh, them? Pfft, they're the voices in my head. Just ignore them."

"You told me you could hear voices, but I thought you were just crazy."

(Just because you discovered Wade can hear voices, doesn't mean he isn't crazy.)

(Yeah, you have met him, right?)

"Let's get what we need and get this over with," Said Twilight.

Twilight was about to walk out the door when she was stopped by Deadpool.

"Wait, what do I do if I encounter somepony we know? I mean, we still have our voices," Asked Deadpool.

"I don't know. Pretend you have a cold, so it looks like I have one. Oh, and you're going to the mines to get some sapphires while I go to the flower stand to get the black iris," Said Twilight.

As Twilight left the library, Deadpool gave an annoyed look when her back was turned.

"'Pretend you have a cold.' Like anyone would believe that," Grumbled Deadpool.

A little while later, Deadpool was walking through a mine. The mine was not far from Ponyville, about two miles away from the east side. Deadpool was looking all over the place to find sapphires, but was not having any luck.

"You would think with Equestria having bountiful gems, I just have to look to my left and there would be fifteen sapphires, or something. Ugh, this is annoying! I should have gotten the easy job of acquiring black iris," Said Deadpool irritatedly.

He checked every corner, every nook and cranny, and no stone was left unturned. But no matter where he looked, he didn't find a single gem. When he was about to give up, he heard voices. He followed the voices down a corridor. Upon reaching the end, he found the source of the voices. Only a few paces ahead of him were two diamond dogs. Both of them had greyish brown fur, and were wearing metal armor. Not wanting to be noticed, Deadpool hid behind a minecart in the middle of the corridor. When he poked his head up to look, he found something. The minecart was filled to the brim with gems, including sapphires. Hopping they were too busy talking to notice, he reached in to take a couple sapphires.

"We know you are here, pony. We caught your scent earlier."

Realizing he was discovered, Deadpool slowly stood up from behind the minecart with his front hooves up.

"Greetings, gentlemen. Sorry to bother you, but could I borrow a couple of sapphires? I need them to return to my old body," Said Deadpool.

"Those gems are ours!"

A diamond dog ran towards Deadpool, but he dodged to the side, grabbed him by the arm, and tossed him into a wall.

"I wanted to resolve this civilly, but looks like I'm going to have to put you David Bowie allusions in the doghouse."

The other diamond dog rushed towards Deadpool and grabbed him by the neck. The hero managed to get free by using his hind legs to kick him in the face, causing him to fall on his back. He then finished him off with a punch to the face. The remaining diamond dog tried to sneak up on him, but Deadpool knew he was coming. Before he could react, Deadpool spun around and punched him in the nose, a sensitive part of a diamond dog's anatomy. Deciding he had enough, the diamond dog made a tactful retreat deeper into the mines. With victory in hand, Deadpool went over to the minecart, and grabbed a handful of sapphires.

"I wish I had my body back. Unlike me Twilight doesn't have a healing factor," Said Deadpool.

Meanwhile, in Ponyville, Twilight had left a flower stand, carrying a bouquet of black iris flowers.

"Tell me something: if you two are voices inside of Wade's head, how come am I able to hear you? Shouldn't you have gone with Wade during the body swap?" Asked Twilight.

(The author thought it would have been funny to have us in your head. Plus, the Deadpool video game versions of us were in Rogue's head when she absorbed Wade's powers.)

"Author? As in an author of a story?"

(Shit! I said too much! Quick think of something to distract her!)

(Danger at twelve o'clock!)

A few feet away from where Twilight was standing was one of her friends - Rarity. Rarity saw her, and was making her way towards Twilight.

"Great! I'm in Deadpool's body, and Rarity thinks I'm Deadpool, but I still sound like Twilight! Calm down, I just need to sound like Deadpool. Deepen my voice a bit, but not too much," Thought Twilight.

(Sound like Nolan North!)

(No, Ryan Reynolds!)

"Okay…" Twilight took a deep breath, and spoke as deep as she could. "Hey Rarity."

"Good afternoon, Deadpool. Are you feeling alright? You don't sound great," Said Rarity.

(Think of something!)

"I, uh, I'm totally fine! I just have a bit of a… um… scratchy throat! Yes, my throat's been bothering me all day!" Said Twilight.

(... Really? If she falls for that, she's a fool.)

"I'm sorry to hear that," Said Rarity.

(Looks like she is a fool.)

(I pity the fool.)

"What brings you to the market, darling?" Asked Rarity.

"I went to get some flowers for Twilight," Answered Twilight.

"Oh! I didn't realize you had an eye for Twilight, darling!'

"Uh… Wha-" Twilight found herself stammering her words. Even though Rarity was referring to Deadpool, she couldn't help but feel embarrassed, her cheeks blushing a light pink. "No, no! She wanted me to get these for her experiments!" Said Twilight frantically.

Rarity was chuckling at Deadpool's (Twilight's) reaction.

"Whatever you say, darling. I hate to cut our chat short, but I have to go pick up my little sister from school. Au revoir, Deadpool!" Said Rarity.

Rarity walked away, leaving Twilight to herself.

[(Snort!) You fell for that hook, line, and sinker!]

"Shut up!" Said Twilight to herself.

After a couple minutes of walking, Twilight arrived back home, where Deadpool was waiting for her.

"Did you get the sapphires?" Asked Twilight.

"I did, but I traded them for magic beans," Replied Deadpool.

"What?!"

"Just kidding, look."

Deadpool opened his hoof, and in it were the sapphires.

"I had to fight a couple of diamond dogs for these. Is that everything we need?" Asked Deadpool.

Twilight grabbed the reverse serum recipe for the body switching spell from a table.

"All we need left is the… cragadile tooth…"

"Great, we need to risk our necks for this last ingredient. I knew I should have got a cherrychanga on the way back here," Said Deadpool.

"If we work together, we should be able to get one without too many problems."

"Whatever you say. You're the one with the healing factor now."

Suddenly, Twilight felt that all too familiar feeling in her body, which caused her to cross her hind legs.

"Um, Deadpool," Said Twilight.

"Yeah?" Replied Deadpool.

"I need to pee."

"Well, go ahead. I already went not too long ago."

"But I never had a… penis before. I-I could use your… help."

"Holy shit! This is going to get so awkward, so fast!"

A few minutes later...

After a very awkward moment, the duo went into the Everfree Forest.

"Let's agree to NEVER speak of that again," Said Deadpool.

"Agreed. Anyway, we're here."

Twilight led Deadpool to the bank of a river that had green water.

"Is this river connected to a toxic waste treatment plant?" Asked Deadpool.

"No, the water has always looked like this. Now, how will we find a cragadile?" Asked Twilight.

"I know what to do. I once had to find a cragadile, so I could get its hide for a contract. All you have to do is draw attention to yourself, and one will show up."

"Okay."

Twilight repeatedly shouted cragadile while flailing her arms to attract one. Nothing had come. Twilight stopped and faced Deadpool. Deadpool was recording her with his Panasonic camera. Unbeknownst to Twilight, two yellow eyes emerged from the water's surface on the other side of the river, and they were heading towards her.

"I don't think it's working, Deadpool," Said Twilight.

"It will work. Patience is key," Assured Deadpool.

"What are you doing with that… What is that?"

"Nothing. Continue with what you were doing."

"Deadpool, tell me what you are doing with that-"

In the blink of an eye, a cragadile rushed out of the water, and grabbed Twilight by the hind legs with its jaws. The cragadile then dragged Twilight underwater.

"Ahhh!"

Deadpool was laughing hysterically at Twilight's expense.

"This body switching thing has its perks! I wish this happened sooner!" Said Deadpool.

Blood appeared in the water, turning it into a crimson red, and the cragadile resurfaced. The beast was fourteen feet long from the tip of its snout to the tip of its tail. It had yellow slit eyes, a hide made of rock, and large, bloody teeth. It was looking right at Deadpool.

"Wait a minute. Twilight in my body may have a healing factor, but me in Twilight's body doesn't. Oh no…" Muttered Deadpool.

The cragadile scurried towards Deadpool. He immediately ran away. He was chased around in circles for two minutes before he ran up a tree. Deadpool wrapped himself around a branch for dear life. Thirty feet below, the cragadile was jumping and snapping its jaws to try to snatch Deadpool.

"Idon'twanttodie! Idon'twanttodie! Idon'twanttodie!" Cried Deadpool.

Just then, movement was made in the cragadile's jaws. Slowly, they opened to reveal Twilight lifting them open. The cragadile looked surprised to see prey escaping its maw.

"You knew it was going to eat me!" Shouted Twilight.

"Sorry. Wow. I know she's in my body, but seeing her pulling off something so awesome is really turning me on!" Thought Deadpool.

Twilight quickly lunged out of the cragadile's jaws, which snapped shut behind her.

"Use my magic to wear it out," Ordered Twilight.

"I don't know how. I never had a horn in my life," Said Deadpool.

"Just focus and fire."

Deadpool closed his eyes and focused on using magic, but his horn only sparked with magical energy.

"It's not working! You need to try my weapons," Instructed Deadpool.

"Um, okay. Maybe I can try this?"

Twilight pulled out one of Deadpool's pistols, and tried to figure out how to use it. Her aim was completely off. The barrel was aimed at Deadpool.

BANG!

"Ahhh!"

Deadpool had to jump from the branch he was on to avoid getting shot. He then slid down the rest of the tree.

"Watch where you're aiming! You could have turned me into Swiss cheese!" Shouted Deadpool.

"This is my first time using a gun! I don't know how to use it! How about I use this?"

Twilight took out a katana from her back. Meanwhile, the cragadile was chasing Deadpool in circles again.

"Twilight, unless you think you can get up close without getting bit with your combat experience, I would try something else," Said Deadpool.

"Twilight put the katana away, and pulled out a rocket launcher from nowhere.

"This? NO!" Said Twilight.

"If you have any ideas, please use them!" Said Deadpool.

Putting a hoof to her chin, Twilight was thinking of ideas to save Deadpool from the cragadile. From the corner of her eye, she noticed some vines hanging from a branch.

"I got it! Deadpool, don't stop running," Said Twilight.

"Like I have a choice," Remarked Deadpool.

Pulling out a combat knife from a sheath on her right hind leg, Twilight cut some vines down. With lightning fast speed, Twilight tied the vines into a net, with one vine serving as a rope. She then swung the rope-vine over a branch.

"Deadpool! Lure it this way," Instructed Twilight.

Doing as he was told, Deadpool ran towards the net with the cragadile following at full speed. At the last second, Deadpool made a sharp turn, and the cragadile ran onto the net. Using all her strength, Twilight pulled on the rope, causing the net to close up and lift the cragadile. Once the net was at head level, Twilight tied the vine to the tree. She then grabbed another vine and tied it around the cragadile's jaws, sealing them shut. Deadpool was panting from exhaustion when Twilight walked up behind him.

"Good job!... So, you're... probably a little upset about-"

BAM!

"Ugh!"

Out of anger, Twilight kicked Deadpool in the "special spot".

"That was for earlier! Do you have any idea what it was like to be eaten?!" Asked Twilight rhetorically.

"Actually, yes. I have been eaten by a shark, dragon, python, giant bird, and a tatzlwurm. And in that order," Replied Deadpool.

"Anyway, how do we get that tooth?"

"I know what to do."

BAM!

Deadpool walked up to the captured cragadile, and bucked it in the jaws. A tooth that was sticking out (along with some spit) came out. Deadpool then picked it up.

No actual cragadiles were harmed in the making of this fanfiction.

"Good thing crocodilians regrow lost teeth," Said Deadpool.

"Now that we have everything we need, let's get the serum made," Said Twilight.

A little while later, Deadpool and Twilight returned home, and are currently in Twilight's laboratory. Twilight had been using her equipment during the serum making process. Placing the final ingredient - sapphire powder in a test tube and stirring the liquid, the serum turned red, indicating it was finished. Twilight poured half of the serum into another test tube, and gave it to Deadpool.

"All done. Just drink this at the same time I do and it should work," Instructed Twilight.

Nodding in response, Deadpool and Twilight drinked the serum in one gulp. They both experienced the migraines from earlier, and shut their eyes. When the migraines stopped, they opened their eyes.

"Did it work?" Asked Deadpool in his body.

"Yes! It worked!" Cheered Twilight.

"Are you guys back in my head?" Asked Deadpool to himself.

(Yeah, we're back.)

(I'll admit, I'll miss the conversations we had with Twilight.)

"And by 'conversations' do you mean 'give Twilight living hell?'"

(Yup!)

Both Deadpool and Twilight noticed Spike entering the lab.

"Good thing you're back in your own bodies. It was weird when you had each other's bodies," Said Spike.

Twilight was looking at a long piece of paper that she had found on a table. When she finished, she had an annoyed look on her face.

"Deadpool," Said Twilight.

"Yeah?" Questioned Deadpool.

"When you went to 'use the bathroom' on the way back here, did you actually go to that taco stand near here and spend my money?"

Twilight showed Deadpool a receipt that read $11.98 paid under the name Twilight Sparkle.

"Ummm…"

Fin.

Hope you all enjoyed the latest chapter of "Deadpool: Mercenary of Harmony". In the next chapter, Deadpool is going to meet some new faces. These ponies are close to a select few of the Mane Six. Until next time, this has been ThePhantomArchives, and I hope you all have a wonderful day!