"Hello everyone. Your favorite merc here. The author and I have a special story for you. After five stories, we have decided now is the perfect time to release my origin story. I know you Deadpool fans out there know the origin story, but this is the origin story of me, the ponified Deadpool. So we hope you enjoy it."

A peaceful morning in Ponyville was cut abruptly short at a local bank. There were three armed robbers with civilians at gunpoint. One of the robbers made his way to the counter, aiming his gun at a terrified teller.

"If you and everypony want to live, you're going to give us all the money in the vault!" Ordered the robber.

"Okay, just don't kill us," Said the bank teller.

Unbeknownst to anyone, Deadpool walked into the bank. He made his way to one of the robbers, and tapped his shoulder. When the robber turned around, he saw Deadpool with a boxing glove on his right fore hoof.

"Hello!"

BAM!

Deadpool delivered a right hook to the robber's jaw, knocking him out instantly. This got the other two robbers' attention, while everyone else ran out of the bank.

"How did you get past the guards we had at the door?" Asked the robber from the counter.

"They weren't much of a challenge. Now let's get this action scene started."

Both robbers fired their guns at Deadpool. He ran fast enough to take cover behind the center island. The robber who wasn't by the counter went behind the island to shoot him. Deadpool pulled out a knife, and stabbed the robber's wrist. The robber dropped his gun and clutched his wrist in pain. Deadpool grabbed him by the back of the head, and slammed him into the island, knocking him out.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

The remaining robber shot Deadpool in the back three times while he was distracted. Seeing he wasn't dead, the robber was going to shoot him again when Deadpool ran towards him. He shot the hero twice in the head, which caused him to fall to the floor. The robber made his way to the doors to escape. Unbeknownst to him, Deadpool had a hoof on one of his pistols, aiming at the robber.

BANG!

The robber fell to the floor, dead by a gunshot wound to the back of his head.

(You know, Twilight told us to only kill if given no other choice.)

"Yeah, I had no other choice. If I didn't kill him, he would have gotten away," Said Deadpool.

(Look at you, finding loopholes!)

"Now that that's settled, I have to wait for my brain to regenerate before I can get up."

A little while later, the Mane Six and Spike were at Twilight's house visiting with each other when Deadpool walked in through the door. His costume had bullet holes from the fight.

"Deadpool? What happened to you?" Asked Rainbow Dash.

"There was an armed robbery at the bank. I was on the receiving end of their guns," Answered Deadpool.

"Good thing you have your healing factor," Said Spike.

"Speaking of, you haven't told us how you got your healing factor," Said Twilight.

"So you want to know my origin story, eh? Originally, I was just going to tell it to the readers, but I suppose I can tell you as well," Said Deadpool.

"Yay!"

Pinkie Pie cheered when Deadpool agreed to tell them his origin story. She sat down, and pulled out a bucket of popcorn from somewhere.

"It all started five years ago-"

"Oh, oh! I want to signal the flashback!"

Pinkie Pie grabbed a harp from nowhere, and strummed the strings.

Five years ago…

Before becoming Deadpool, he was Wade Wilson. Wade was a brown coated pony with a short black mane, brown eyes, and also had a gun and knife cutie mark.

"I was your average pony… Okay, I was sort of average. The exception was I was a mercenary… Kind of still am. I wasn't a bad guy mercenary. I took out the ponies that were worse than me."

"Took them out? Where? To lunch?" Asked Pinkie.

"Yeah… that's what I did. All my life I wanted to be a hero. I was originally in the Equestrian military, special forces, but I was discharged because of my moral code. So I thought a mercenary life would make me a hero. I also had a marefriend. Her name was Vanessa. She was beautiful. She had a great mane, radiating white coat, an ass-"

"Deadpool!" Shouted the girls

"Okay, okay! Sorry! Vanessa and I met at-"

"Is this relevant to the story?" Asked Rarity.

"Of course it is. Vanessa and I met at a bar in Manehattan.

Wade was at a bar called "the Hell House." He was drinking a beer rather quickly when a unicorn mare sat next to him.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you doing? Don't have time to enjoy that drink?" Asked the mare.

"I just completed a high paying contract. I want to get out of here as soon as possible, so I can get my reward. Have we met before?" Asked Wade.

"Doubt it. I'm Vanessa Carlysle."

"Wilson, Wade Wilson. What's a nice place like you doing in a girl like this?"

Vanessa chuckled at Wade mixing up his words. A big stallion walked by Vanessa and groped her butt. A pissed off Wade grabbed him by the shoulder, and spun him around.

"Pal, you best apologize before…"

Vanessa stepped on one of the stallion's front hooves, putting her full weight on it. It was clear that the stallion was in pain and regretting his actions.

"Say the magic words," Demanded Vanessa.

"I'm sorry," Said the stallion.

Vanessa stepped off his hoof when he apologized.

"Get out of here while you still can," Warned Wade menacingly.

The stallion did as he was told, walking away from the two ponies terrified.

"This may come off wrong, but are you a prostitute?" Asked Wade.

"Are you a cop?" Asked Vanessa in reply.

"No."

"I'm a prostitute."

Wade pulled out his wallet and combed through it.

"What can I get for two-hundred and seventy-five bits?" Asked Wade.

"About seventy-two minutes of whatever the hell you want," Said Vanessa.

"See you back here at seven?"

"You bet, babe."

On that note, the flashback ended, returning to the present day.

"So what did you two do, or do I really need to ask?" Asked Twilight.

"Skee Ball… among other things. For a while, Vanessa and I were in a relationship. That will all change, however. One day I felt really ill, so Vanessa had me go see a doctor. They told me I had been kissed by the worst super villain of them all - cancer," Said Deadpool.

Everyone in the room was shocked by this revelation.

"Y'all had cancer?!" Asked Applejack in shock.

"Please save all questions for the comment section. While Vanessa was planning cancer treatments, I had given up. I didn't think I would be one of the lucky survivors, so, not wanting to leave her with a dead pony, I left her," Said Deadpool sadly.

"That's so sad," Said Fluttershy, tears welling up in her eyes.

"Wade, how long were you two together?" Asked Twilight.

"A little over a year," Answered Deadpool.

"I understand your intentions, but by leaving her, you put her through more pain than if you had spent the rest of your days with her, so she could be with you."

"You don't think I haven't realized that now? I know I fucked up. I wasn't in the best mindset back when I was diagnosed with cancer, and because of it, I made a foolish mistake. If I had the chance to apologize to her, I would. Anyway, a week after I was diagnosed with cancer, I was at the same bar we met at when I met a guy who offered to 'help me.' Notice how there are quotation marks around the words 'help me.'"

Resuming with the flashback, Wade was sitting at the bar in the Hell House. A unicorn stallion in a suit walked up to Wade as he was taking a sip of his drink.

"Are you Wade Wilson?" Asked the stallion.

"Yeah. What do you want?" Asked Wade in reply.

"I work for an organization that might interest you."

"Unless this 'organization' of yours is offering me a job as a secret agent, I'm not interested."

"Here me out: I work for some smart ponies. They have been currently working on new medical treatments that can cure you of your cancer and more."

"... You got me intrigued. Please tell me more."

"On top of helping you be cancer free, these treatments will do more. They will give you abilities that are only dreamed of. We can make you a superhero."

"... I would like to take you up on your offer."

Both stallions shook hooves to seal the deal. In the present day, Twilight had an eyebrow raised after hearing Wade's deal.

"You thought it was a good idea to take medical treatment from a guy you just met at a bar?" Asked Twilight rhetorically.

"I know, I'm stupid. Shut up," Said Deadpool.

"Then what happened?"

"A couple days later, I went to where I would have been 'treated.'"

After accepting treatment for his cancer, Wade went to where he would be cured. He was currently strapped to a table. He was in a concrete room that had little lighting, and the air felt cold. A male earth pony, who was navy blue in color with a darker blue mane and tail, was standing next to him.

"Hello Mr. Wilson. My name is Francis Fanny, but I am better known around here as Ajax.

After being introduced, Wade was chuckling at Ajax.

"What's so funny?" Asked Ajax impatiently.

"Sorry. It's just…" Wade continued to chuckle. "... You nicknamed yourself after a laundry detergent!"

Wade began to laugh uncontrollably. Ajax was not so light-hearted.

"Focus, Mr. Wilson," Said Ajax sternly.

"Of course. Sorry," Said Wade.

"You will find that while the methods we use here are… unorthodox. Most of the time they're effective. We will heal you and make you more."

The flashback was abruptly stopped by Deadpool.

"He mentioned more stuff, but I honestly wasn't paying attention. I was still laughing mentally about his nickname. Anyway, for months I was tortured. Apparently, I had powers hidden in my genes, and not the wearable kind. They tried to make my abilities appear by putting my body through stress. Now comes the juicy stuff."

Wade was being escorted to a room with scientific equipment all around it. In the center of the room was a large metal chair. Wade was made to sit down in it by Ajax, and was then strapped down to it by assistants. They also placed six needles into him, three in each foreleg.

"If this doesn't unlock your mutation, then, well… nothing will. You will be injected with the DNA of a previous patient. Hopefully, on top of having his healing factor, it will also unlock your latent mutant abilities," Said Ajax.

"And I thought you guys were dicks before," Said Deadpool.

"You know, the funniest thing about this is… you still think we are going to turn you into a superhero. Little secret Wade, we here at Department K don't make superheroes, we make super weapons."

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Asked Wade rhetorically.

"Begin the injections."

Ajax stepped back while scientists started the injections. Machines next to Wade roared to life. Tubes connected to those machines had a translucent red liquid coursing through them. The liquid was injected into Wade through the needles.

"Ahhhhhhhhh!"

Pain suddenly hit Wade like a speeding train. His entire body began to shake uncontrollably. Monitors on various screens were showing his heartbeat increasing exponentially. All of a sudden, a single tumor appeared on his hindleg. Then another one appeared, and another, and another, and another until they were popping up like flies. They started forming on his hindlegs and spread all the way up to his face. Besides the tumors, the hair from his mane and tail shedded off like a tree losing its leaves for the winter. The machines were turned off, and the pain subsided with them. Everyone in the room was shocked by Wade's new appearance.

"Fucking hell! Looks like somepony lost his chance of homecoming king," Said Ajax calmly.

"What have you done to me?!" Asked Wade furiously.

"Good question. Dr. Allele, what happened to Mr. Wilson?"

Dr. Allele was a unicorn mare with a light grey coat, indigo mane and tail, and wore rather large glasses over her eyes. She was looking over at some computer monitors.

"It appears that the injection of Weapon X's DNA has accelerated his cancer, causing his deformed appearance. Other than that, he seems normal," Said Dr. Allele.

"You hear that, Wade? Seems like our experiment led to nothing," Said Ajax.

"You sadistic fuck!" Shouted Wade.

"Someone return Mr. Wilson to his cell. I need to have a word with my higher up."

Wade was forcefully taken from the chair by two guards and was being directed back to his cell, ending the flashback.

"That is so awful!" Said Rainbow angrily.

"It astounds me you survived that!" Said Twilight in astonishment.

"Yup. On top of superpowers, I have terrible looks," Said Deadpool.

"Come on. I bet ya don't look that bad," Said Applejack assuredly.

"I wouldn't make any bets if I were you, AJ."

"Wade, you don't have to hide your face from us. We're your friends, no matter what you look like," Said Twilight.

Deadpool contemplated on whether he would show his friends his true face.

"... Fine. But don't say I didn't warn you," Said Deadpool.

(Here we go.)

"Oh, Darling. It can't possibly be that ba-"

Rarity cut herself off when Deadpool took off his mask, revealing his scarred face to her and their friends. They all had shocked looks on their friends.

...

…

(…)

(My eyes!)

"You're a douche," Said Deadpool to himself.

"Um… You're definitely… unique," Said Rainbow with a nervous smile.

"I appreciate you trying to not hurt my feelings, Skittles, but it's fine if you think I am an ugly ass mother-fucka," Said Deadpool.

"How about we continue with the story?" Suggested Twilight.

"Good idea."

Continuing with the flashback, a couple of hours after the experiment, Ajax was sitting from across a desk in a dark room. From what could be seen, it was someone's office. Behind the desk was a rather tall and muscular unicorn stallion. He had a sky blue coat of fur with a gray mane and tail caused by age. Probably his most noticeable features were his thick eyebrows and lampshade moustache.

"How did the experiment go, Ajax?" Asked the stallion.

"I think you know. You saw the pictures that were submitted to you?" Questioned Ajax.

"I did. Sweet Celestia. If I didn't know any better, I thought he was my mother-in-law coming back to haunt me."

The stallion laughed at his own joke. Ajax, though, was stone faced.

"Dr. Killebrew. I don't mean to be questioning you, but how are you not taking this seriously? The experiment was a failure. Weapon X's DNA had not done what we projected. I can understand him having a low grade healing factor, but instead we end up with a walking cancerous tumor," Said Ajax.

"Oh Ajax. You really need to lighten up. Instead of seeing Mr. Wilson's condition as a failure, we should be seeing it as a learning experience. An example of what can happen when we use cancer victims as test subjects. We will just move on and do better with future subjects," Lectured Dr. Killebrew.

"What will we do with him then?"

"Schedule him to be shipped to the Hospice. Unless we can find more uses out of him, we will just send Wade there to rot away."

"Yes sir."

Ajax got up from his seat and went to get prepared to send Wade off to the Hospice. Meanwhile, Wade was lying in a cramped cell where the only thing in it was a metal toilet and a board serving as a bed hanged by chains to the wall.

"They ruined me. That fucker, Ajax, ruined me… I want to kill him so bad… but I can't," Said Wade sadily.

(Not with that kind of attitude you can't.)

"Who the fuck said that?!" Asked Deadpool fearfully.

(He did.)

"Where the fuck are you two?!"

(We are in your head.)

"Voices in my head? I have gone nuts."

(Maybe you have, maybe you haven't. Oh, who am I kidding? Of course you have!)

"Based on all the shit I have gone through, I would be surprised if I haven't."

(You can refer to me by Screwball and the other guy Serious. Now, the author wrote us in here for more than introductions. We're here to help break you out, and deliver, sweet, bloody revenge!)

"The author?"

(Yes, the author. You're a pony version of a fictional character created for the amusement of unseen readers. Don't believe us? Get up and walk forward a bit.)

Wade got up from his bed, and walked forward until he hit something. It wasn't a wall, but the barrier that separates his world from the internet.

"Holy shit! It's true!" Said Deadpool in shock."

(Come on, we gotta get out of here to move the plot along.)

"How would we do that?"

(You can figure it out. You were in Special Forces after all.)

Wade spent a long time thinking of a plan of escape. He finally came up with an idea.

"Alright. Here's the plan," Said Wade.

(You don't really need to explain it to us; we're in your head. We learned of the plan the moment you thought of it.)

A few minutes later, a guard was walking by when he heard someone groaning in pain. He walked over to Wade's cell, and saw him clutching his stomach in pain.

"What's going on in here?" Asked the guard.

"I (Cough) don't feel well. I think I am starting to die from my cancer," Said Wade in pain.

The guard didn't seem convinced until Wade spat up some blood.

"Okay. I will take you to the infirmary," Said the guard.

The guard unlocked the door and went to grab Wade, when he was thrown to the floor. Wade grabbed the guard's gun and shot him in the head.

"Wow! I can't believe that actually worked!" Said Wade.

(Too bad you had to bite your lip so hard you made it bleed to make your act more convincing.)

"We got what we need. Let's start a riot," Said Wade menacingly.

(Oh! As we carry out our plan, music should be playing in the background! Teamheadkick's Deadpool Rap comes to mind.)

Wade walked out of his cell and casually walked through the hall. Two guards were walking ahead of him and noticed him.

"Hey! What are you doing out of your cell?!" Asked a guard.

BANG! BANG!

Deadpool shot both of them in the head, and picked up another gun from one of the guards. Other prisoners began to cheer for Wade as he walked by their cells. Wade went through a few more guards before entering a room. He killed a lone stallion that was inside, and pressed a big red button. Alarms began to sound off as all the cell doors opened, freeing the other prisoners. Meanwhile, Ajax was being escorted by a couple of guards through the chaotic halls.

"What the hell is going on?!" Asked Ajax.

"It's Wilson, Sir. He escaped from his cell, and freed all the prisoners," Informed a guard.

Another guard ran up to Ajax, looking terrified.

"Sir, somepony just broke into the armory!" Said the guard.

Meanwhile, a bunch of guards stood outside the armory, aiming their guns inside. A grenade was thrown from the armory, and landed in front of the guards.

KA-BOOM!

The guards were blown up, and walking from the smoke was Wade. He was carrying two Vityaz-SN submachine guns. He fired in all directions, shooting guards down. Those who weren't shot were taken out by prisoners.

(AHAHAHA! YEAH!)

"Holy shit! I never thought an escape would be this much fun!" Said Wade.

(I would pay attention if I were you. Ajax is about to-)

BANG! BANG!

Wade was shot in the shoulders by Ajax, dropping both of his guns as a result. Ajax kicked Wade onto his back, and pinned him down by placing the barrel of his pistol to his chest.

"I've had enough of you, Wade. You have caused too much trouble for me. I'm going to put you down like the animal you are."

With the use of enhanced strength, Ajax rammed his hoof into Wade's chest, and tore out his heart. Crying out in pain, Wade drew one last breath before dying. An unknown amount of time passed when Wade opened his eyes, but instead of the building he was held captive in, he was on a cloud, and the sky was a dark purple. He got up and looked around, and noticed someone coming towards him. They looked like a pony, except they were a ghostly white, their eyes blank as a brand new canvas, and black stitch mark markings covered their mouth. They wore a black cloak over their thin body, and jutting out of the back were skeletal wings. Wade was both curious and captivated by this strange pony.

"Uh… who are you? And where am I?" Asked Wade.

"I am Death, and you are in my realm. Where all beings come before ascending to Heaven or are casted into Hell." Answered Death, speaking with a feminine tone.

"Death? I guess I am dead then?"

"No."

"No? Why not?"

"In a moment, your new healing factor will revive you."

"So that experiment actually worked?"

"Yes. Now you must go."

A white doorway appeared behind Wade. As he was walking through it, he thought…

"She's kinda hot."

GASP!

Wade woke up in the real world. Looking down, he saw that a new heart formed where the one Ajax tore out was removed, and his chest healed over it. He got up from where he rested, and ran away to freedom, thus returning to current events.

"Wow! Thanks for telling us your story, Deadpool," Said Twilight.

"Hold on. Don't you want to know how I got my name?" Asked Deadpool.

"I think we are all-"

"Yes!" Shouted Pinkie Pie.

"Okay. After I escaped, I went to see an old friend of mine who I called Weasel," Said Deadpool.

After escaping his captors, Wade met up with Weasel at the bar. They were both sitting with each other at a table, drinking beer. Weasel was a chocolate brown pegasus with a long light brown mane and tail, and wore a pair of glasses. Wade was wearing a hoodie to conceal his scarred face.

"What do you mean she left?" Asked Wade.

"Vanessa moved a couple of months ago. I don't know where she went in case you were wondering," Said Weasel.

"Great! Ah, who am I kidding? She wouldn't have liked this fucked up face anyway."

"C'mon Wade. It can't be that bad."

"Bullshit! I'm a demon on the inside and outside."

"Vanessa loved you. She wouldn't have cared what you looked like."

Wade took off his hood to show Weasel his face.

"Holy shit!" Exclaimed Weasel.

"You like what you see?" Asked Wade.

"No. You look like an avocado had sex with an older, more disgusting avocado," Said Weasel.

"Yeah," Muttered Wade.

"You look like somepony turned you inside out, ass first, left you like that, and set you on fire."

"Um-hmph."

"You look like a burn victim, who had their skin graft samples taken from a Shar-Pei."

"Okay, I get it!"

(I'm kinda enjoying this!)

"Shut up," Said Wade to himself.

"What?" Asked Weasel.

"Nothing, just a voice in my head. I would have forced Francis to fix me, but I chose to leave because the place was going to fall apart at any moment. I doubt he is still there anyway."

"There's only one thing you can do now."

"Find that fucker-Star in horror films," Said Wade and Weasel in unison.

"What?" Asked Wade.

"Star in your own horror film series, or even your own comic series," Said Weasel.

"The latter has already happened for the human version of me, but I digress. What I need to do is go through his lackeys until one of them gives him up, make him fix this, then I put a bullet in his skull."

"He would think you're dead, right?"

"So keep it that way? Wear a mask?"

"Yeah, wear a thick mask… I'm sorry, your face is just the stuff of nightmares."

"Like a zombie and a mummy had a fucked up love child."

"You will die alone. If you could die. What you need is a suit and identity. Like Mr. Never Die. The Unkillable Pony. Terror Face... Oh shit…"

"That would be an interesting alias. Oh shit! It's Oh Shit Man!"

"No. Now that you can't die, I will never get the money I bet on you."

Wade looked up to his right and saw a blackboard that read "Dead Pool." The gears in Wade's head were turning.

"Deadpool… Captain Deadpool… No just Deadpool," Said Wade.

"Yeah, to you Mr. Pool. Deadpool," Said Weasel.

"Equestria's about to get all kinds of fucked up with me in it."

With the clanging of glasses, this moment marked the beginning of Deadpool.

Now will you PLEASE let me be done with writing your backstory? I think we dragged it out long enough, especially after you made me write about how you met Vanessa and how you got your name.

"Hmm… Fine. I will let you be done this time," Said Deadpool.

Ah, thank Celestia!

"And that's the story of me. I would tell you the part where I made my iconic suit and the battles I had with Ajax's goons, but I think I told you all enough. Plus, this story has referenced enough of the Deadpool movie starring the human version of me, and I'm pretty sure the author will cancel this fanfic if I have him write anymore," Said Deadpool.

"What's a human?" Asked Fluttershy."

"Never mind."

"Let me get this straight. You came up with your superhero name from a violent betting table in a bar?" Asked Twilight.

"Yes," Answered Deadpool.

"Did ya ever find Francis?" Asked Applejack.

"No. Every lead I had was a dead end. I know you all may have more questions, and I will happily answer those at another time, but I have something I need to take care of."

"Thanks for telling us your story, Deadpool. I think I can say for all of us that we're a little closer to you now that we know more about you," Said Twilight.

"Yeah. And despite how horrifying some parts were, your story is awesome!" Said Rainbow.

"Thanks. My origin story is a truly epic tale. I'll definitely cover it extensively if I ever write an autobiography. I was thinking about titling it "Deadpool: My Fucked Up Life".

Deadpool went down a flight of stairs and entered the living room. He lifted up the cushion on the right side of the couch, and pulled out a photo from a file; it was a photo of Ajax. He picked up a thumb tack on the coffee table, and stuck the picture to the wall opposite of him. He took a few steps back, and threw a knife at the picture. It stuck to where Ajax's head is.

"I will find you someday, Francis. And when I do, you will pay for everything you have done to me."

Hope you all enjoyed Deadpool's origin story! The next chapter will take place in the season one finale, so stay tuned to find out how Deadpool will do at the Grand Galloping Gala. Until next time, this has been ThePhantomArchives, and I hope you all have a great day!