Zzz…
Deadpool was sleeping on the couch. He had a bag of chips in his hooves, weapons were scattered across the room, and plates of food that had not been touched were on the coffee table. Basically, he's right at home.
CREAK!
The door creaked open, revealing Twilight Sparkle behind it. Upon entering the living room, she noticed the mess in her living room caused by the Merc with a Mouth. Wanting answers, she made her way to Deadpool, and started shaking him lightly to wake him up.
"Wade," Whispered Twilight.
Zzz…
"Wade," Whispered Twilight again.
Zzz…
"Wade," Whispered Twilight with a hint of irritation.
Zzz…
Her efforts were to no avail. Wade was not waking up. Twilight lost her patience and tried a different way of waking him up.
"Wade!" Shouted Twilight.
Zzz…
Not even yelling woke him up. Twilight put a hoof to her chin, and came up with an idea.
"Wade, the taco stand is having a half off sale," Said Twilight.
"Let's go!"
Finally, Deadpool woke up from his slumber. He was in a frenzy. While trying to pick up all of his weapons, he dropped his bag of chips on the floor, dumping some of its contents. Twilight rolled her eyes at Deadpool's coordination.
"Wade, there isn't a sale at the taco stand," Informed Twilight.
"What? Then why the hell did you wake me up?" Asked Deadpool.
"Two reasons. The first reason, what happened to this room?" Asked Twilight.
"Sorry. I was partying last night. Party of one? More like DP, party of fun! I will clean this up in a minute," Said Deadpool.
"Okay… Second, I need you to come with me to Rarity's Boutique,"
"Why?"
"Did you seriously forget?"
"What?"
"The Grand Galloping Gala. It's tonight. We need to go over to Rarity's and get prepared,"
"The Grand Galloping Gala? You mean the big party held in Canterlot once a year?"
"Yes!" Exclaimed Twilight in excitement.
"I'll pass," Said Deadpool.
"What?! You don't want to go to the biggest party of the year?!" Asked Twilight in shock.
"No. It's just a party with no taste for snobby rich ponies. I would rather swim with sharks in a suit made of ham," Answered Deadpool.
"(Sigh) Maybe this will change your mind,"
She gave Deadpool a scroll. It was addressed to him from Princess Celestia. He began to read it in a mock impression of Princess Celestia..
"Dear Deadpool, I cordially invite you to the Grand Galloping Gala. Blah blah blah. Events include dancing, blah blah blah. We are short of staff this year, so I will also give you the opportunity to watch over the festivities as a guard? You will be paid one-hundred bits for every hour of work!" Read Deadpool excitedly.
(Holy shit! We're gonna get paid, son!)
"Will you go now?" Asked Twilight.
"I don't normally go to events like this, but if Princess Celestia needs me, I'll go," Said Deadpool.
"Good. Let's get going."
A little while later, Twilight, Deadpool, Spike, and Pinkie Pie were outside Rarity's Boutique. Twilight was busy reading a spell book while Deadpool was leaning against a tree. Pinkie Pie was bouncing on a trampoline she got from who knows where.
"Ahh! I (bounce) can't (bounce) believe (bounce) the Grand (bounce) Galloping (bounce) Gala (bounce) is (bounce) tonight!" Said Pinkie Pie excitedly.
"Pinkie! Please stop shouting, I'm trying to concentrate," Said Twilight annoyedly.
Just then, Rarity stepped out of her boutique. She noticed Pinkie Pie bouncing on the trampoline.
"Pinkie Pie! Stop that right now. It's time to prepare for the Gala, and I refuse to let you put on your new dress when you're all sweaty," Said Rarity sternly.
Pinkie stopped bouncing on behalf of Rarity's wishes. Making her way towards Spike, she watched Twilight reading her book.
"What's Twilight doing?" Asked Pinkie.
"She's got an awesome magic spell she's been working on for the Gala," Answered Spike.
"Where are the others? It's getting late," Said Rarity.
"Hold your horses, girl. We're here."
Applejack and the rest of the girls arrived, and not a minute too soon. Twilight finished reading her book.
"Perfect! I'm ready," Said Twilight.
"For what?" Asked Rainbow Dash.
"All right, Spike,"
Spike placed an apple on the ground.
"An apple! Are we having pie?" Asked Pinkie.
"Shh! Watch," Said Spike.
Twilight's horn began to glow. The apple's shape was distorted, then, just like that, it became a carriage. All of Twilight's mare friends looked at the carriage in awe. Deadpool watched from the tree he was leaning under. He didn't find Twilight's spell to be very cool.
"Yeah. Especially since it is a rip off of Cinderella," Said Deadpool.
"That's just the start. Fluttershy, did you bring your friends?" Asked Twilight.
"Yes." Four mice popped out of Fluttershy's mane. She bent her head down, so they could climb down. "Will they be safe, Twilight?"
"You have my word."
Twilight used the same spell on the mice, but it appeared to not have fully worked. Their bodies were like a horse's, but their faces still looked like that of mice.
"Ta-Da!"
"This is even better than a Disney Princess film!" Said Deadpool.
Deadpool laughed at Twilight's mishap. She was ignoring him, though.
"Neat, huh? And don't worry. They'll be mice again at midnight," Assured Twilight.
A persian cat stepped out of a nearby bush. She was wearing a purple bow on her head and a collar of the same color, studded with opals. Her name was Opalescence. She is Rarity's pet cat. When she saw the mice-horses, she grew a devilish grin, and leapt towards them.
"Opalescence, no!" Shouted Fluttershy quietly.
Opalescence leapt onto one of the mice-horses, frightening all of them. She was bucked off, and the mice-horses ran away.
"Wait! Come back! Those horses were supposed to pull the carriage. How will we get to the Gala?" Asked Twilight.
"I know, let's use the teleporter device on my wrist," Suggested Deadpool.
(Didn't that get damaged yesterday when we were taking down those criminals at the warehouse?)
"Pfft, it still works," Said Deadpool dismissively.
He pushed a button and he teleported. It failed horribly. He ended up sideways with the tree he was leaning on in the middle of his body.
"Well, this could've gone better," Said Deadpool.
"Whatever shall we do?" Pondered Rarity.
Rarity looked around and noticed a couple of earth pony stallions.
"Uh… ahem." Rarity got the stallions' attention. "Uh, would you boys mind pulling our carriage to the Gala?"
Agreeing to help them, the stallions pulled up the carriage in front of the girls.
"Oh. Yeah. Right," Said Twilight sheepishly.
"Um, can somepony help me out? I need to scratch my ass, but there's a tree in the way," Said Deadpool.
A few minutes later, the group was in Rarity's boutique. The girls were in a room doing their manes and getting dressed, while Spike and Deadpool were waiting out in the hallway for them to get ready. The men got bored of waiting out in the hallway.
"Come on, you guys. Let us in," Begged Spike.
"Sure thing, Spike."
Rainbow Dash was going to open the door, but Rarity blocked the door.
"Heavens no! We're getting dressed," Said Rarity.
"Dressed? Uh, beg pardon, Rarity but, uh… we normally don't wear clothes," Pointed out Applejack.
"So I'm not the only one who thinks this entire conversation is pointless?" Asked Deadpool.
With a groan, Rarity reluctantly opened the door for the guys to come in.
"I'm sorry Spike. Some of us do have standards," Said Rarity.
"I still can't believe we're going to be at Canterlot tonight. Our hometown, Twilight! And the best part is that we all get to hang out together all night long," Said Spike.
"Uh, I-I don't know, Spike," Said Rainbow.
"We'll just have to see," Added Rarity.
"We're gonna be a mite busy," Added Applejack.
"Busy having fun!" Quipped Pinkie.
BA-DUM, CRASH!
Everyone looked at Deadpool. He was sitting with a drum set.
"Hey, somepony's gotta do it," Said Deadpool.
"Oh. Okay."
Spike was disappointed with his friends' answers.
"Don't worry Spike. We'll all get to spend time together," Assured Twilight.
"Great! 'Cause I planned my insider's tour of Canterlot. I've gotta show Rarity the crown jewels, and Applejack the Princess's golden apple tree. And Pinkie, we gotta go to my favorite doughnut shop," Said Spike.
Later that evening, the group was making their way to Canterlot. The girls were seated in the carriage while Spike and Deadpool were sitting up front. Spike was wearing a tuxedo while Wade was still wearing his suit.
"Sigh!" Spike looked to his right and saw Deadpool holding his head in his hoof. "Are we there yet? I'm starting to regret my decision to come," Said Deadpool.
"Way to kill the mood, Deadpool," Said Spike annoyedly.
A few minutes later, the group finally arrived at Canterlot. The carriage stopped in front of the Canterlot Castle, where the Gala is being held. Spike hopped out of his seat and opened the door for the ladies.
"Whoa! You all look… amazing!" Said Spike breathlessly.
The girls were wearing dresses based on their talents and/or interests. Twilight was wearing a star-patterned dress, Applejack's dress was western themed, complemented by her stetson hat, Rainbow Dash was wearing a rainbow dress and had her hair tied; one of the only times you will ever see her like that, Pinkie Pie's dress was based on candy, Fluttershy was wearing a green, nature dress with flowers braided in her mane, and Rarity was wearing a pink and magenta dress complete with a tiara.
"Wade? You're still wearing your suit?" Asked Rarity.
"I was just waiting until the last minute. This is the last minute."
Deadpool grabbed his suit and ripped it off. He was wearing a standard tuxedo with a red dress shirt and matching handkerchief, and black dress pants. He also wore black dress shoes on his back hooves. He still wore his mask and gloves.
"I can't believe we're finally here. With all that we've imagined, the reality of this night is sure to make this… The Best Night Ever!" Said Twilight.
"My Deadpool sense is warning me that there's going to be a musical number, so I'm going inside to find some drinks," Said Deadpool.
(One song later)
Deadpool was in the ballroom inside the palace, leaning against a wall. He was watching over the festivities, making sure everything was going smoothly. Some patrons walked by with either confused looks or glaring at him due to his very noticeable mask.
(Yawn! This party blows!)
(At least we're getting paid.)
(Maybe so, but would it kill anypony to change the music? This classical music is getting old.)
"Don't forget the party mare of Ponyville is here tonight. If anyone can liven this party up, it's Pinkie Pie," Said Deadpool.
(Speaking of...)
Across the room, Pinkie Pie was singing and dancing to her heart's content, much to the annoyance of the other party goers. She only stopped when she saw the other patrons glaring at her. She was confused as to why everyone else wasn't partying the same way she was. Deadpool decided to walk over and talk to her.
"Hey, Pinks, how's the partying going?" Asked Deadpool, even though he knew the answer.
"This is the strangest party ever. It's got a shiny dance floor, there are ponies dressed from head to hoof in supertastic outfits, and there's a fancy band. But this party is lacking in… partying," Said Pinkie.
"Pinkie, this is a party for rich, snobby ponies. They don't exactly party like at one of your parties."
"Hmm… I know they can party. I just need to encourage them."
"Well, good luck with that."
As Deadpool returned to his post, he noticed a refreshment table. And in the center of that table, was a punch bowl. He then saw a waiter, carrying a metal tray with four glasses of red wine on his back. The lightbulb in Deadpool's head switched on, having come up with an idea that made him grin mischievously.
"Hey, sir." The waiter stopped right next to Deadpool, looking at him. "I'd like that entire tray of wine plus another tray over there."
The waiter gave Deadpool the entire tray, then walked away to fetch another tray. Deadpool grabbed one of the glasses of wine, and brought it up to his mouth. Lifting up his mask slightly, he took a single sip.
"Wow! This is pretty good wine! I'm definitely going to be drinking this the whole night."
Setting his glass down, Deadpool grabbed the rest of the glasses, and, one by one, poured their contents into the bowl of punch. He then grabbed a ladle, and mixed the liquids together.
(You shouldn't have done that.)
"I'm helping Pinkie with her dilemma. Once all of these rich ponies have a little alcohol in their system, they're bound to liven up a little. Besides, like anypony will know I did it," Said Deadpool.
(This reminds me of when we went to prom with one of our cousins.)
A little while later, Deadpool was leaning against the wall, finishing his fifth drink of wine. He placed the empty glass on the tray, before looking towards a door leading to the Canterlot Gardens.
"Perhaps we should go outside. Make sure everyone's behaving."
Heading out the exit, Deadpool entered an open area surrounded by various native and exotic flora. He quickly noticed Rarity, who was looking at a stem that appeared to be missing a flower.
"Hey, Rarity," Greeted Deadpool.
"Deadpool, darling, a pleasure to see you on this grand night. Although, aren't you supposed to be watching over the festivities?" Asked Rarity.
"I am. I'm just making sure everything's fine out here," Answered Deadpool.
"I see. I hate to brush you off, darling, but I'm waiting for somepony, and I believe he will be back any second now."
"He? You found the stallion of your dreams you wouldn't stop talking about in the carriage? What's he like? Tall? Handsome? The lead character in an award winning superhero movie?"
"He's… He's not like I expected, but he's great," Said Rarity half-heartedly.
"Uh-oh, having guy problems?" Asked Deadpool.
"No, no. His gentlecolt side will appear, I just have to wait," Assured Rarity.
(I call bullshit.)
"Is he giving you trouble? Do I need to rough him up a bit? If you catch my drift?" Questioned Deadpool.
"No. I'll admit, it was rather rude that he had me cover a puddle with my cloak, so he can walk over it and not get wet, but I know his princely side will show," Assured Rarity.
"I see… So he's a douche?"
Ponies in the area looked at Deadpool due to his use of vulgar language. Rarity covered his mouth with a hoof, and made him look her in the eye.
"Wade! While I normally tolerate your choice of words in a private setting, we are at a formal event with high-class ponies. Either choose your words carefully, or stay quiet," Said Rarity sternly.
"Fine, but let me tell you something: you deserve better. Don't be with a guy who makes you feel shitty. I know I am the last guy to get love advice from, especially since I had gone out with twenty-eight-"
(Ah-Ahem.)
"Ugh! Thirty mares, but even I know that stallion doesn't deserve a mare as great as you."
Leaving it there, Deadpool started to walk away, when he noticed the waiter coming by with more wine.
"Serveur! Un verre de vin, s'il vous plaÎt," Said Deadpool in Prench. The waiter handed him a glass. "And one for the unicorn mare with the purple mane and magenta dress."
The waiter headed towards Rarity's direction, while Wade continued his rounds. He was walking by some bushes when he heard some rustling on the other side of one of them.
(Oh god! A heron is going to jump out of that bush and attack us like in "Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2"!)
(That was a crane, not a heron.)
(There's a difference?)
"Let's investigate. Maybe it's something that will finally put some excitement in this party," Said Deadpool.
Cautiously, Deadpool walked through the bush. When he got on the other side, instead of a threat, he saw Fluttershy.
"Oh. Hey, Shy," Greeted Deadpool.
"Eep!"
Fluttershy was surprised by Deadpool's sudden appearance. Her shock caused a toco toucan to fly away out of panic. She tried to reach out for it futilely, looking down at the ground out of sadness.
"Uh-oh. What's wrong, Shy?" Asked Deadpool.
"I-It's nothing. It's just there are so many animals here at the Gala that I have never seen before, and I want to be with them. But they keep fleeing every time I get close to them," Said Fluttershy.
"Hey, they're animals, right?" Asked Deadpool. Fluttershy nodded her head. "Just like any animal, they're most likely stressed due to the noise from the party, and all of these ponies outside. Just let them come to you. You're great with animals, so I know they'll come to you when they're ready."
Hearing Wade's words of advice, Fluttershy's smile returned to her face.
"You're right. Thank you, Deadpool," Said Fluttershy.
"No problem."
Deciding to leave Fluttershy be, Deadpool started making his way back inside. He stopped dead in his tracks when he caught a whiff of something. He followed it to a stand that was being run by a familiar farm pony.
"Hi, Wade," Greeted Applejack.
"Hey, AJ. How's the sales going?" Asked Deadpool.
"Awful. I only had one sale. I thought I would sell a lot of my family's homemade goods here tonight, but I only sold a single pie," Said Applejack.
Deadpool looked at Applejack, then the glass of wine he partially drinked. He finished the rest of it in a few quick sips, then tossed the glass behind him.
"That's rough. Tell you what, that apple fritter smells bitchin! I'll buy one of those and a glass of your famous apple cider," Said Deadpool.
"That's kind of ya, Deadpool, but you're my friend. Ya don't have to pay," Said Applejack.
"AJ, I insist. I'll buy your food."
"I appreciate it, but ya really don't-"
"Applejack, let me pay for the damn food, or I'll shove this money up your prison wallet."
Applejack, put her hooves up, and grabbed an apple fritter and a glass of apple cider. Deadpool placed five bits in the bucket, and grabbed the apple cider first. He brought the glass to his lips, and drinked it all in one sip. He then grabbed the apple fritter, which Applejack put in a paper bag, with his teeth.
"Pleasure doing business with you, Ms. Applejack," Said Deadpool.
"Thanks, Deadpool!" Said Applejack.
Deadpool walked through a different door than the one he exited through. At the top of the stairs, he saw two familiar faces, Princess Celestia and Twilight. He walked up the stairs, and stood in front of both of them.
"Hello, Princess Celestia," Greeted Deadpool.
"Good evening, Deadpool,"
After giving a quick hello to him, Celestia went back to greeting guests arriving at the Gala. They formed a long line in front of her, from the top of the stairs to the main entrance.
"Hi, Wade," Greeted Twilight half-heartedly.
"Hey, is everything alright?" Asked Deadpool.
"Honestly, not really," Said Twilight.
"Want to talk about it?"
Twilight looked over at the other side of the door leading into the ballroom. She motioned Deadpool to follow her. Once they were in, she spoke to him.
"I came to the Gala tonight because I wanted to catch up with Princess Celestia, but she and I haven't been able to have a chance to talk because she has to greet so many ponies. I know it's not something that can be controlled, and I don't hold anything against her or the guests, but that doesn't mean it isn't so irritating!" Said Twilight angrily.
"Hey, I get it. You haven't seen Celestia since what would be the twenty-second episode of the actual TV show. I know I wouldn't like not being able to speak to a friend that I had not seen in a while. It may be until after the Gala, but I know you two will get a chance to talk. You just have to do something I hate doing - waiting," Said Deadpool.
"You're right, Deadpool. Thank you. I'm going to go get something to eat before meeting back up with the Princess."
As Twilight was heading to a food table, Deadpool looked at the paper bag with the apple fritter he was carrying, then at her. He caught up with her, and tapped her shoulder.
"Want my apple fritter?" Asked Deadpool.
"Deadpool, that's yours. I can grab something over here," Said Twilight.
"I don't mind. Besides, it's most likely better than the hors d'oeuvres they're serving here. Come on, it's still warm!"
Twilight thought about Deadpool's offer before grabbing the bag with her magic and smiling.
"Thank you, Wade."
Twilight made her way back to Princess Celestia. Deadpool noticed a crowd forming in the middle of the room. In the middle of the crowd were the Wonderbolts, Equestria's elite flying team. Rainbow Dash was also with them, but looking pretty mad. Deadpool slipped through the crowd, then walked up to her.
"Dash, you're actually hanging out with the Wonderbolts, Equestria's version of the Blue Angels! That's so awesome!" Said Deadpool excitedly.
"Hasn't been that awesome," Grumbled Rainbow.
"What do you mean?"
"I've been trying to talk to them all night, but they haven't noticed me because of this crowd."
"I don't know what to say, Dash, but the only thing you can really do is wait."
Rainbow Dash gave Deadpool a look that told him he should keep his mouth shut. He left her be, and made his way back to the entrance. After a couple hours of guarding, and drinking fourteen more glasses of wine, Deadpool was getting bored and hungry.
"Oh my God, this is so boring! And I am so hungry!"
(Too bad you don't have an apple fritter to eat. Oh wait, you did. But you decided to be nice, and gave it to Twilight.)
"You're an ass. I'm going to see what this party has for food."
Deadpool walked over to a table in the center of the room. It had all sorts of h'orderves and sweets. None of them caught his interest.
"Ugh! Just about the only thing that this shindig has for food is tasteless h'orderves! At least they have something edible in the form of desserts. But not even those are catching my eye."
(Do you reckon Applejack still has food we can purchase?)
"Given her luck this evening, most likely. I suppose it wouldn't hurt to go pay her a visit."
"Psst!"
Deadpool heard someone trying to get his attention. He looked ahead and found Pinkie in a back corner of the ball room. She was gesturing him to come over. Catching on, he nodded his head while smirking under his mask. He discretely walked over to her, and leaned against the wall adjacent to her.
"What's up, Pinks?" Said Deadpool.
"I couldn't help but overhear you were unsatisfied with the food selection here," Said Pinkie rather seriously.
"Yup."
"I may have something that you may be interested in."
Pinkie reached into her mane and pulled out a cherrychanga wrapped in aluminium foil. Deadpool quietly shrieked in excitement.
"What do you want for it?!" Asked Deadpool.
"I think you know what I want. So, the real question is: How much do you have?" Asked Pinkie.
Deadpool reached into his breast pocket, and pulled out a plastic bag of rainbow-colored sprinkles. He and Pinkie quickly traded their items. They both nodded their heads before parting ways.
(... What the fuck did I just observe?)
"I traded Pinkie some sprinkles in exchange for the cherrychanga," Answered Deadpool.
(Wait, does she just eat the sprinkles straight up, or... does she... snort them?)
"Yes."
Deadpool walked over to a table and sat down. He lifted up his mask, then removed some of the foil around the cherrychanga. He licked his lips, then took a bite out of it.
"Sooo good!" Exclaimed Deadpool.
"Ugh! What are you wearing on your head?"
(Who's looking to get their ass kicked?!)
Upon turning around, he noticed the pony who asked that shrewd question. Standing in front of him was a unicorn stallion with long golden locks.
"Trust me, pal, there's a reason why I wear this. Who the hell are you?" Asked Deadpool irritatedly.
"Watch your words sir. This is a formal event. For your information, my name is Blueblood. Prince Blueblood."
"Pool, Dead. Also, I couldn't give a shit about where I curse."
"I'm surprised my aunts would let a commoner with your mouth in an event such as this," Said Blueblood in disbelief.
(Can we please beat this guy!)
"Look man, I'm just trying to enjoy my meal. Just do me a favor and get something to eat, and leave me in peace," Asked Deadpool.
"Very well. I shall sample the Gala's h'orderves," Said Blueblood.
The waiter from earlier came by, carrying a tray of wine.
"Refreshments?" Offered the waiter.
"Yes," Said Deadpool.
Deadpool grabbed a glass of wine from the tray.
(Isn't this your twenty-first drink tonight?)
Prince Blueblood grabbed himself a small crustless sandwich, and began to consume it while sitting at a table opposite of Deadpool.
"Oh, yes. This is much more palatable than that carnival food," Said Blueblood.
"You had something bad to eat?" Asked Deadpool.
"I unfortunately had the displeasure of sampling commoner food. Those foul apple fritters," Muttered Blueblood.
Deadpool set his drink on the table.
"Apple fritters? Um, by chance, were they sold by a mare? Orange? Stetson hat? Southern drawl? Voiced by Ashleigh Ball?" Asked Deadpool.
"I don't know what you mean by that last one, but, yes. That mare served me wretched carnival food, tainting my pristine tastebuds. I can't believe commoners like her are allowed to attend the Gala," Said Blueblood.
"Ass whoppin' time!"
It appeared Prince Blueblood had forgotten at the moment Deadpool was sitting across from him. Underneath his mask, Deadpool was seething with rage. He got up, grabbed his drink, and made his way to Blueblood. Blueblood was calmly eating his sandwich, unaware of what was coming his way.
"Enjoying that sandwich?" Asked Deadpool calmly.
"Yes. Certainly better than that carnival food," Said Blueblood.
"Good…"
SHATTER!
"OWWW!"
SLAM!
CRACK!
In a matter of seconds, Deadpool broke his glass behind Prince Blueblood's head, and slammed him through the table they sat at. All of this got the attention of the other guests. They all watched in shock, letting out some gasps. Deadpool grabbed Blueblood by the shoulders and had him look him in the eyes. The back of Blueblood's head was bleeding a little. He was clearly terrified of Wade.
"Listen here, you fancy-schmancy son of a bitch! That mare is my friend. She came here tonight, wanting to sell her family's homemade food. You have no right to give her shit! Heed my warning, if you ever give her, or any other 'commoner' bullshit again, I will break all two-hundred and five bones in your body, staring with your jaw! Understand?!" Asked Deadpool. Prince Blueblood nodded his head to show he understood. "Good. Now, get out of my sight!" Ordered Deadpool.
He let Blueblood go, the prince running away like he saw the grim reaper. Deadpool noticed everyone staring at him.
"The fuck you all looking at?!" Asked Deadpool rhetorically. A thought came into Deadpool's mind. It was about something Blueblood had said. "Wait, aunts? Is Blueblood related to the Princesses?"
Deadpool's question would have to be put on hold. Pinkie Pie started some music with a DJ table, then went down to the dance floor.
"Come on, everypony! You wanted a partay? Now it's a paaartaaay!" Said Pinkie.
Pinkie started to dance, and, in the process, launched some of the guests by bumping into them. A couple doors opened, revealing Applejack pushing a dining cart with a big cake on it.
"Okay, all you high-class ponies. Here's a highfalutin apple cake for your hoity-toity taste buds," Said Applejack.
"Stage dive!"
Pinkie Pie jumped off the stage and landed in front of the cart, launching the cake. It headed straight for Rarity and Prince Blueblood, who had some bandages wrapped around the back of his head at a surprisingly quick amount of time. Noticing it, Blueblood hid behind Rarity and used her as a shield. She ended up covered in cake. This… was the final straw for her.
"You, sir, are the most UNCHARMING Prince I have ever met! In fact, the only thing royal about you is that you are a royal PAIN!" Shouted Rarity.
"Stay back! I just had myself groomed!" Said Blueblood.
"Afraid to get dirty?!" Asked Rarity.
She then tossed some cake onto Blueblood. He backed away from Rarity, but he tripped and bumped into a statue. He caused the statue to fall towards the guests.
"This is my chance!"
Rainbow Dash ran towards the statue, and caught it with her back.
"Yeah! Whoa!"
Rainbow Dash started to struggle with holding the statue, accidently hitting a pillar. It fell onto another pillar. Three more fell over like dominoes. When the dust settled, the pillars were in pieces. The statue broke as well.
"Wow! Some shit got fucked up, and it wasn't my fault!" Said Deadpool in surprise.
Hearing the commotion, Princess Celestia and Twilight Sparkle walked into the room and saw the mess. They were in complete shock.
"Well… it can't get any worse," Said Twilight quietly.
The room began to shake, confusing everyone. Then the doors to the gardens opened, and a bunch of animals ran inside. In the doorway was Fluttershy. Her mane was unkempt, and her dress was in tatters. She was mad.
"You're going to love me!" Shouted Fluttershy.
Ponies were running from the animals, and some were being chased by said animals. Twilight only looked on in shock. Then Princess Celestia whispered to her…
"Run."
Twilight whistled to signal her friends that it was time to leave.
"Well, guess that's my cue to leave this joint," Said Deadpool.
CRASH!
Before leaving, Deadpool decided to contribute to the destruction by flipping a random table. While going down a flight of stairs, Rarity lost one of her glass slippers, to which Pinkie Pie noticed.
"Ooh! Rarity, your glass slipper! Now your Prince is sure to find you," Assured Pinkie.
"Ah!"
Rarity shrieked in fear, and smashed the slipper. Pinkie Pie was confused, but then was grabbed by Rarity and went on their way. Meanwhile, at Joe's Doughnut Shop, Spike was finishing eating a doughnut.
"Hey, Joe. Another doughnut," Requested Spike.
"Don't you think you've had enough?" Asked Joe.
"Another doughnut! Extra sprinkles!" Ordered Spike.
A bell rang, signaling the arrival of customers.
"Twilight Sparkle! Ha, ha. Long time no see," Said Joe.
Everyone, except for Deadpool, looked like they had a rough night. The girls' manes were unkempt, and Fluttershy's dress was still ruined. Rarity was no longer covered in cake, though.
"Hey, how was the Gala? How was your best night ever?" Asked Spike, oblivious to the events that have occurred.
(One story later)
"That sounds like the worst night ever!" Said Spike.
"It was!"
All of the girls laughed, finally starting to cheer up from the party.
"Tonight was okay for me. I drank some wine and beat the shit out of somepony," Said Deadpool casually as he took a bite out of a doughnut.
"Why would you do that to somepony?!" Asked Rarity in shock.
"He did an inexcusable thing," Said Deadpool.
"And that is?" Asked Fluttershy.
"... He was giving Applejack crap," Said Deadpool.
"What?" Asked the Mane Six.
"He was complaining about how terrible her food was, as well as saying how he was surprised she got into the Gala. So I stood up for her… by smacking him with a wine glass, slamming him into a table, and threatening to break every bone in his body," Said Deadpool calmly.
"Ignoring the violence part, thank ya partner!" Said Applejack as she slapped Deadpool's back.
"Wait a minute. Was by chance his name Prince Blueblood?" Asked Rarity.
"Yeah," Confirmed Deadpool.
"So you were the 'uncultured swine' he talked about. I can't believe I'm saying this, but, thank you Wade for putting some sense into him. Until it lasted," Said Rarity.
"(Gasp) It's only been the first season, but you finally said thank you to me! This truly has been a great night!"
"I just hope Princess Celestia isn't upset with us for ruining the Gala," Said Twilight.
"That was the best Grand Galloping Gala ever!"
"Princess Celestia!"
The Princess made her way to the table the group of friends were sitting at.
"Pardon me, Princess, but tonight was just awful," Said Twilight.
"Oh, Twilight. The Grand Galloping Gala is always awful," Said Celestia.
"It is?" Asked Twilight.
"That is why I was thrilled you were all attending. I was hoping you could liven things up a bit. Although I'm surprised it wasn't mainly because of Wade," Said Celestia.
"Don't worry. On top of breaking a couple tables, I spiked the punch bowl with some wine when no one was looking." Said Wade.
"Of course you did," Said Twilight annoyedly.
"By the way, Princess, may I ask a question?" Asked Deadpool.
"Ask away," Said Celestia.
"When do I get paid?"
SPLAT!
In response to his question, Twilight shoved a doughnut in Deadpool's face. He licked the frosting and bits of doughnut off his face.
"Anyway, while the evening may not have gone as you planned, I'm sure you'll agree that in the end it didn't turn out so bad for this group of friends," Said Celestia.
"You're right, Princess. Friends have a way of making even the worst of times into something pretty great," Said Twilight.
"Yeah! Hanging out with friends!" Said Rainbow.
"Talking!" Added Fluttershy.
"Laughing!" Added Pinkie.
"Caring!" Added Deadpool.
"You mean doing exactly what I wanted to do the whole time?" Asked Spike.
'Yes, Spike. You were right. As horrible as our night was, being together here has made it all better. In fact, it's made it..."
"The best night ever!" Said the Mane Six in unison.
"Eh, eh! They said it! They said it!" Said Deadpool.
And that concludes the latest chapter of "Deadpool: Mercenary of Harmony". The next set of chapters will be taking place within the second season of the show "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic", where he and his friends will be facing familiar foes, one of them being from the Marvel Universe, and also will be meeting new but familiar faces. So until next time, this has been ThePhantomArchives, and I hope you all have a great day!