It was a bright and sunny day in Canterlot. The Cutie Mark Crusaders and their classmates were on a field trip to the capital of Equestria. They were there along with their teacher, Cheerilee. They were currently at a sculpture garden. Next to the garden was a large hedge labyrinth.
"I want to start our field trip here, in the world famous Canterlot sculpture garden. That one over there represents 'Friendship.'"
Cheerilee pointed to a sculpture with three young ponies stacked on top of each other. Speaking of three young ponies, Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle accidentally walked into the statue and each other. They glared at each other.
"All right, my little ponies, this one represents 'Victory.'"
The sculpture Cheerilee showed to her class depicted a pony wearing a cape and holding a flag.
"How cool would it be to have that for a cutie mark?" Asked Scootaloo.
"Cool, if you were actually victoryful at somethin'," Remarked Apple Bloom.
"That's not a word!" Said Sweetie Belle.
"What are you, a dictionary?" Asked Scootaloo mockingly.
"Girls! Now this is a really interesting statue. What do you notice about it?" Asked Cheerilee.
The statue Cheerilee was referring too depicted a rather odd creature. It was made up of an assortment of animal parts; a chimera. It had a horse's head, a single fang, a deer antler, a blue goat horn, a serpentine body, a lizard and deer's legs, and a bat and pegasus's wings.
"It's got an eagle claw!" Said Apple Bloom.
"And a lion paw!" Added Scootaloo.
"And a snake tail!" Added Sweetie Belle.
"This creature is called a draconequus. He has the head of a horse and a body made up of all sorts of things. What do you suppose that represents?" Asked Cheerilee.
"Confusion!" Answered Apple Bloom.
"Evil!" Answered Sweetie Belle.
"Chaos!" Answered Scootaloo.
"It's not chaos you dodo!"
"Don't call me things I don't know the meaning of! And it is too chaos!"
"Is not!"
"You're both wrong!" Said Apple Bloom.
All three fillies started wrestling with each other, stirring up dust. Everyone failed to notice the area where the draconequus' heart would be was flashing. Cheerilee spoke up in order to break up the fight.
"Actually, in a way, you're all right. That statue represents 'Discord', which means a lack of harmony between ponies. In fact, you three have demonstrated discord so well that you're each going to write me an essay explaining it." The entire class laughed at the expanse of the Cutie Mark Crusaders. "Now let's go, and I don't want anymore fighting," Said Cheerilee sternly.
As the class was leaving, the statue of Discord was cracking.
"Mwahaha!"
A few hours later, in Ponyville, Rainbow Dash was zooming across the sky. While she was doing tricks, a pink cloud flew past her, causing her to spin in circles.
"Hey! Come back here, you!"
Rainbow Dash chased the cloud and quickly caught up with it. When she grabbed it, the cloud broke up and stuck to her fur.
"Eww! What is this?" She managed to shake some of the cloud off and tasted what remained stuck to her. "Cotton candy?"
Rainbow Dash noticed a bunch more cotton candy clouds flying around her. A lone cloud above her grew bigger, and a single brown rain drop fell on her head.
"Wait a second! It's not supposed to rain until tomorrow. You can't just-" Much to Rainbow Dash's dismay the rain fell. It wasn't ordinary rain, it was chocolate milk rain. "You did."
Meanwhile, at Sweet Apple Acres, Applejack was in a cornfield picking corn from the stalks. She noticed Rainbow Dash flying by, chasing a cotton candy cloud. She too was being followed by a mass of cotton candy clouds, creating a downpour.
"Rainbow Dash, what's going on with this rain? I mean chocolate milk? I mean chocolate milk rain?!" Asked Applejack.
"There's crazy weather all over Equestria! Cloudsdale is getting soaked by a major cola storm right now! But don't worry, I'm not leaving you until I get control of Ponyville!" Assured Rainbow.
Suddenly, all of the corn began to pop. Every kernel became popcorn. Pinkie Pie appeared, and hopped through the large pile of popcorn.
"Why would you want to stop this?" Asked Pinkie Pie.
"Ahem."
Applejack turned around and noticed Rarity. She was wearing purple rain gear and had an extravagant umbrella attached to a saddle.
"I heard about your troubles, Applejack, and I came to see if there's anything I can do without getting wet. Or dirty. Or out from under my umbrella," Said Rarity.
The girls' attention was turned to the apple trees. The apples on the trees grew very large. So much so that the trees bent over all the way to the ground. Some squirrels along with a white rabbit belonging to Fluttershy, named Angel, started to eat the apples. Applejack frantically asked Fluttershy for help.
"Fluttershy! Do somethin'!" Pleaded Applejack.
"Now, Angel, you really shouldn't-"
Fluttershy's thoughts were cut off when she noticed Angel's legs grew so long that they were like stilts. In fact, every rabbit in the area grew stilt like legs.
"No! It's not possible! I must be seeing things!" Said Fluttershy in disbelief.
Twilight and Spike had just arrived, and saw all of the chaos. Twilight had brought a spell book which she was carrying with the help of magic.
"Don't worry, everyone. I've learned a new spell that will fix everything," Assured Twilight.
She concentrated and cast a beam of magic over everything out of the ordinary. The area was covered in a flash of light. But when the light faded, everything was still the way it was.
"My fail-safe spell… failed. What do we do?" Asked Twilight.
"Uh, give up?" Suggested Spike.
"It would probably help if everyone tried to help," Said Applejack to a certain mercenary.
Deadpool was watching everything while seated in a lawn chair, drinking a can of beer.
"I'm just enjoying the show. Plus the chocolate milk that gets into my beer actually makes my drink even better." Deadpool tossed the can he had in his hoof, and grabbed a new one. It opened with a "P-sss" sound. "Want one?" Asked Deadpool holding a freshly opened can of beer.
"I'll pass," Said Applejack.
"Hmm, time for plan B. Rainbow, can you corral all those clouds in one corner of the sky? Applejack, I need you to bring those high-strung storm clouds to Earth," Instructed Twilight.
In no time, Rainbow Dash corralled all of the clouds into a ball in the sky, and Applejack used her lasso to bring them down to earth. Although, Pinkie Pie wasn't able to continue drinking the chocolate milk rain because it ceased after being caught in the lasso. At the same time, Twilight whispered something to Fluttershy.
"Oh dear. I hope none of the animals see these delicious chocolate filled cotton candy clouds. I'd hate to have to share them," Shouted Fluttershy quietly.
"You and me both, sister!" Said Pinkie.
Applejack had tied the clouds she got with her lasso to a fence post. Pinkie Pie was eating the clouds. All of the animals noticed, and pushed Pinkie Pie out of the way and began eating.
"And when y'all are done with that, feel free to have some popcorn for dessert." Said Applejack.
"You see, Spike. You should never give up. There's nothing we can't overcome if we all work together… Then there's Deadpool," Said Twilight annoyedly.
"I like to think I helped by existing in this universe; I'm a big fuckin' deal. I'm sure your franchise got even more popular because of me being in this fanfiction," Said Deadpool arrogantly.
(Humble much?)
Spike burped, and a letter appeared to which Twilight read.
"(Gasp) Come on, everypony. Princess Celestia wants to see us all in Canterlot. Immediately," Said Twilight.
A little while later, in Canterlot Castle, Princess Celestia paced in her throne room in anticipation for Twilight and her friends to arrive. She was nervous about something. She noticed the group of friends running into the throne room. Deadpool though was lagging behind. He looked very exhausted.
"Princess Celestia, we came as fast as we could!" Said Twilight.
"Yeah… I ran… all the way… from Ponyville," Said Deadpool in between breaths.
(How are we tired? Our healing factor makes it so our muscles rarely produce lactic acid, thus preventing us from getting tired.)
"It's for the story. Don't question it," Said Deadpool to himself.
"Wait, you ran all the way from Ponyville?" Asked Rainbow.
"Yeah?"
"So that's why we didn't see you," Said Pinkie.
"We took the TRAIN to Canterlot," Said Twilight.
""Really?" Asked Deadpool.
"Yeah," Replied Twilight.
"... Excuse me for a moment."
Deadpool walked out of the throne room and turned around the corner.
BAM!
"Ahhhhhhhh!"
…
Deadpool walked back into the throne room. He took a deep breath, relieving some tension.
"... There's a hole in a wall I found that needs to be patched," Said Deadpool calmly.
"... Thank you, Twilight. Thank you, all," Said Celestia.
"Is this about the weather? And the animals' weird behavior? What's happening out there? Why isn't my magic working? Is there-"
Twilight's rambling was silenced by Celestia through the use of raising a hoof.
"Follow me," Instructed Celestia.
The group of ponies were walking down a long hallway. Where many windows depicted major events in Equestria's history.
"I've called you here for a matter of great importance. It seems an old foe of mine, someone I thought I had defeated long ago, has returned. His name… is Discord," Said Celestia.
Fluttershy saw a stained glass depiction of Discord. She was frightened to say the least, giving a little shriek out of terror.
"Discord is the mischievous spirit of disharmony. Before my sister and I stood up to him, he ruled Equestria in an eternal state of unrest and unhappiness. Luna and I saw how miserable life was for earth ponies, pegasi, and unicorns alike, so after discovering the Elements of Harmony, we combined our powers and rose up against him, turning him to stone," Explained Celestia.
"You go, girl!" Cheered Deadpool.
"I thought the spell we cast would keep him contained forever, but since Luna and I are no longer connected to the Elements, the spell has been broken," Said Celestia grimly.
"No longer connected?" Wondered Twilight.
At the end of the hallway was a big door that seemed to contain something important.
"This is Canterlot Tower, where the Elements are kept inside since you girls recovered them. I need you to wield the Elements of Harmony once again and stop Discord before he thrusts all of Equestria into eternal chaos," Said Celestia.
"But why us? Why not you-"
"Hey, look! We're famous!"
Twilight was cut off by Pinkie Pie. Pinkie was looking at a window that depicted the girls defeating a once corrupted Princess Luna.
"You six showed the full potential of the Elements by harnessing the magic of your friendship to beat a mighty foe. Although Luna and I once wielded the Elements, it is you who now control their power, and it is you who must defeat Discord. Also, Deadpool can help you defeat Discord should things go awry," Said Celestia.
"Yay!" Cheered Deadpool.
"But no killing," Said Celestia sternly.
"Aw…" Said Deadpool in disappointment.
"Princess Celestia, you can count on-"
"Hold on a second! Eternal chaos comes with chocolate rain, you guys. Chocolate rain!" Said Pinkie.
"Don't forget the popcorn! Oh, you know what would be awesome? Taco rain!" Said Deadpool.
(It's raining tacos!)
"Don't listen to them, Princess. We'd be honored to use the Elements of Harmony again," Said Twilight.
Walking up to the door, Princess Celestia stuck her horn in a keyhole and cast a spell. With a click, the door lit up and opened, revealing a case with gems on the front.
"Ooh. You can keep the Elements. I'll take that case!" Said Rarity with excitement.
"Have no fear, ponies. I have total confidence that you will be able to beat Discord with these!"
Upon opening the case, it was revealed to be empty. The group of ponies gasped, and Princess Celestia dropped the case. Everyone but Deadpool and Pinkie Pie had their mouths agape.
"Are the Elements of Harmony invisible?" Asked Deadpool.
(No you dumbass! Someone stole the Elements!)
"... Oh, well. If anyone needs me, I'll be outside in the chocolate puddles with a giant sizzle straw."
Pinkie Pie was about to leave when, surprisingly, Deadpool stopped her from leaving.
"Listen, Pinkie, as tempting as it is to leave, you have to stay," Said Deadpool.
"Pfft. Why? Because the plot of the story requires me to stay?" Asked Pinkie.
"Exactly," Answered Deadpool.
"Ohhhhhh! Okie Dokie Loki!"
"Loki? He's not in this fanfic."
"The Elements! They're gone!" Said Twilight in shock.
"That chamber is protected by a powerful spell that only I can break! This doesn't make sense!" Said Celestia in disbelief.
Suddenly, maniacal laughter could be heard throughout the room; it's source unknown.
"Make sense? Oh, what fun is there in making sense?" Asked a sinister voice.
"Discord… show yourself!" Demanded Celestia.
The window art depicting Discord came to life, having been possessed by the real draconequus.
"(Chuckling) Did you miss me, Celestia? I missed you. It's quite lonely being encased in stone, but you wouldn't know that, would you? Because I don't turn ponies into stone," Said Discord bitterly.
Keeping his current form, he went to the window of the Mane Six.
"Enough! What have you done with the Elements of Harmony?" Asked Celestia.
"Oh, I just borrowed them for a teensy little while," Answered Discord.
SNAP!
With a snap of his fingers, he made the Elements of Harmony in the window disappear. Celestia was growing impatient, stomping her hoof in intimidation.
"You'll never get away with this, Discord!" Said Celestia.
"Oh, I've forgotten how grim you can be, Celestia. It's really quite BORING," Said Discord.
"Hey! Nopony insults the Princess!"
Rainbow Dash flew towards the window, but Discord teleported away, and she ended up crashing into the window. Discord reappeared, altering his size to cover the entire window.
"Oh, you must be Rainbow Dash. Famed for her loyalty. The Element of Harmony you represent," Said Discord.
"That's right! I'll always be loyal to the Princess!" Said Rainbow.
"We'll see about that," Said Discord ominously with a mischievous smirk.
"I can't believe we're wasting our time talking to a tacky window," Said Rarity annoyedly.
"The beautiful Rarity. Representing the element of generosity, if I'm not mistaken?"
"So you know who we are, big deal," Said Applejack.
"Oh, I know much more than that, honest Applejack."
"You seem to know our strengths too," Observed Twilight.
"Yes, Twilight Sparkle, and yours is the most powerful and elusive of the Elements - magic. Fluttershy's is kindness, and Pinkie Pie's is a personal favorite of mine - laughter."
Discord began to laugh, while Pinkie Pie was snickering about something.
"Pinkie!" Said Twilight.
"(Laughing) He's standing on your head!" Said Pinkie in amusement.
Twilight looked and saw Discord doing a little dance on the stained glass art of herself. Like Pinkie, Deadpool was laughing at Twilight's expense.
"Stop stalling, Discord! What have you done with the Elements of Harmony?" Asked Celestia.
"Oh, so boring, Celestia. Really? Fine, I'll tell you, but first… Who is he?" Asked Discord pointing at Deadpool.
"Who am I? Who am I?! I'll show you who I am mother-fucker!"
SNAP!
As Deadpool made his way to the window, pulling up his sleeves, a bar of soap appeared in his mouth, to which he spat out.
"My my, what a potty mouth. But yes, who are you?" Asked Discord.
"(Spit) Okay, the name's Deadpool. Hero of Equestria, the wearer of red tight leather, and your worst nightmare."
BANG!
Deadpool pulled out one of his pistols and shot the window. Discord teleported out of the way, and reappeared in the next window.
"Can't wait to face you. Anyway, I'll tell you the location of the Elements of Harmony, but in my way. To retrieve your missing Elements, just make sense of this change of events. Twists and turns are my master plan, then find the Elements back where you began," Instructed Discord.
The form Discord took on had returned to its window, followed by filling the room for a few seconds. Discord disappeared… for now.
"Can we go home now?" Asked Fluttershy fearfully.
"What do you reckon he meant? Twists and turns and ending back where we started?" Pondered Applejack.
"Twists and turns… twists and turns… twists and turns! That's it! I bet Discord hid the Elements in the palace labyrinth!" Said Twilight.
"Good luck, my little ponies. The fate of Equestria is in your hooves," Said Celestia grimly.
"Eh, eh! She said it! She said it!" Said Deadpool.
"Thanks, Princess. We won't let you down," Vowed Twilight.
As soon as the group left the throne room, evil laughter could be heard again. Upon arriving at the labyrinth, the group realized how large it was. The hedge walls of the labyrinth towered over all of them.
"W-We have to go in there?" Asked Fluttershy nervously.
"Nope! Dopey Discord forgot about these babies!" Rainbow Dash looked at her wings before taking off into the air. "I'll just do a quick flyover and we'll have the Elements in no time."
Suddenly, her wings disappeared, and she fell to the ground.
"My wings!" Cried Rainbow.
Fluttershy's wings disappeared as well along with Rarity and Twilight's horns.
"Ahhh!" Cried Fluttershy.
"Your horn! My horn! Ahhh!" Cried Twilight and Rarity in unison.
A green light flashed in front of them, revealing Discord.
"Mwahaha! You-You should see the looks on your faces! Priceless!" Snickered Discord.
"Give us our horns and wings back!" Demanded Twilight.
"You'll get them back in good time. I simply took them to ensure there's no cheating. You see, this is the first rule of our game: no flying, and no magic," Explained Discord.
"The first rule?" Questioned Rainbow.
"The second rule is everypony has to play or else the game is over, and I win. Good luck, everypony! (Laughs)"
In a flash of light, Discord disappeared.
"Great. Now we have to play a stupid game or else Equestria goes to hell. I hope this isn't like 'Saw'," Muttered Deadpool annoyedly.
"Don't worry. We have each other," Said Twilight confidently.
"Yeah! Like Twilight said, there's nothing we can't overcome if we all stick together!" Said Rainbow.
"All right, everypony! Let's do this…"
"... Together!"
"Ahhh!"
Just as they stepped into the labyrinth, walls sprung up around each pony, separating them.
"Stay calm. Everypony, head to the middle as fast as you can, and we'll regroup there!" Said Twilight.
Everyone began navigating through the labyrinth at their own pace, except for Fluttershy. She was too scared to pay attention to Twilight's instructions. She was scared even more when she thought she saw something.
"What's that?! Who's there?! Guys!" Cried Fluttershy.
As she ran through the labyrinth, Applejack noticed some, well, apples. But they began to move, so she chased them. Eventually, she ended up in what appeared to be an apple orchard.
"What in tarnation? Where am I?" Asked Applejack to herself.
More and more apples appeared and they moved around her in circles. The apples joined together into three piles. Two of them were slightly different shades of red, while the third was green. All three of the piles had faces with sinister expressions.
"Who are y'all?" Asked Applejack.
"The keepers of the grove of truth. You may ask us…"
"... one question…"
"... past, future, or present."
"But be warned…"
"... that the truth…"
"... may not always be pleasant."
"All right then. I don't trust this place worth a hill of beans, but I've got a really bad feelin' about this feller Discord. What's gonna come of this mission we're on?" Asked Applejack.
"For the answer you seek…"
"... go ahead, take a peek."
The apples guided Applejack to a pond. Applejack looked into it, and an image appeared through the reflection. It was her and her friends. They were all at Ponyville, but it was distorted, and they were mad at each other.
"I hope I never see you again!" Said Rainbow.
"Me too!" Added Fluttershy.
"Screw you guys!" Said Deadpool.
"Fine!" Said Pinkie.
"Fine!" Said Rarity.
"It's settled then," Said Twilight.
"No! Our friendship - over?!" Questioned Applejack in disbelief
Unbeknownst to her, Discord held three bars with strings attached to them, holding one with his tail. He was manipulating the apple piles like marionettes from above.
"It can't be true. It just can't. This can't be the truth," Said Applejack in disbelief.
"When all the truth does…"
"... is make your heart ache…"
"... sometimes a lie is easier to take."
A ghostly image of Discord appeared. When she looked into his eyes, Applejack was hypnotized. Her usual colors faded to grey. When the mind control was complete, the orchard, pond, and apples disappeared. Twilight came from behind, and saw Applejack.
"Applejack! Thank goodness! I thought I heard voices over here. Who were you talking to?" Asked Twilight.
"I was talking to… uh… nopony! Nopony whatsoever!"
Applejack tried to hide the fact she was lying, but it was obvious she was trying to hold back a grin.
"What?" Asked Twilight in confusion.
"Nothing. Come on, uh, we best be going."
As Applejack walked by her, Twilight looked at her friend skeptically.
"Did Applejack just…? Come on, Twilight! Applejack wouldn't lie," Assured Twilight to herself.
Meanwhile, Pinkie was navigating the labyrinth. She was hopping and whistling as she went. She then stumbled upon something. There were balloons everywhere. They had smiley faces on them, drawn with sharpie. What was most odd about these balloons was they were laughing.
"(Chuckling) Whee! This is the greatest balloon garden I've ever seen! It's the first balloon garden I've ever seen, but still.
Wah!"
SPLAT!
Pinkie Pie tripped and landed in a mud puddle. She noticed one of the balloons had attached itself to one of her back legs, the cause of her tumble, and all the balloons kept laughing, but looking at her.
"Hey! What gives?" Asked Pinkie.
Discord appeared next to her.
"What's the matter, Pinkie Pie? I thought you appreciated a good laugh?" Said Discord.
"It's different. They're laughing at me," Said Pinkie.
Discord put his head behind a green balloon, and when it spun around, it had his face on it.
"It's hardly different. Your friends laugh at you all the time," Said Discord.
"My friends laugh with me, not at me," Said Pinkie.
"Oh, really?"
Discord and the balloons began to laugh at Pinkie Pie once more.
"No! Stop it!" Demanded Pinkie.
The faces of her friends appeared on the balloons, laughing at her.
"Stop laughing at me!" Demanded Pinkie.
"Oh, poor Pinkie Pie. And here I thought laughter made you happy."
Just like he did to Applejack, Discord hypnotized Pinkie Pie. She too lost her colors.
"Happy? I don't think so," Said Pinkie grimly.
The balloons popped (the ones with Deadpool's face popping first), and Discord disappeared. Twilight and Applejack arrived just as they all popped.
"Pinkie Pie! Are we glad to see you!" Said Twilight.
"Oh you are, huh? Why? Need a good laugh?" Asked Pinkie angrily.
"Pinkie? What do you suppose has her so upset? It's not like her," Said Twilight to Applejack.
"I didn't notice anything strange about Pinkie," Lied Applejack.
"Weird. Better pick up the pace before the stress of this gets the better of all of us."
Discord in the balloon he was in followed behind them with a smirk. Meanwhile, Rarity wasn't happy about going through the labyrinth.
"I was expecting an audience with the Princess, not outdoor sport," Complained Rarity.
"Agh!"
Rarity walked into something. As she got up she saw a stone wall with three gemstones in it. Discord's face appeared in the gemstones.
"Welcome to your lucky day, Rarity. You've found the one thing in Equestria that could rival my face for sheer beauty." Discord started to hypnotize Rarity. "What do you think? You like?"
"Yes… I like very much… No! No I shan't succumb to such fabulousness." It seemed Rarity was able to resist Discord's mind control, but as she was walking away, her steps seemed to be heavy. "Must… get to the center… to meet… the others. Mine!"
Just like that, Rarity had succumbed to Discord's mind control, and began to break the wall. After some time, it revealed a diamond a little bigger than her.
"Well, Rarity. It took forever, but it was worth it. Who knew three little gemstones would turn out to be this handsome hunk of a diamond? Now to get you home. (Grunt)"
Rarity lifted the diamond onto her back and began carrying it.
CRASH!
Another stone wall had broken, revealing Twilight, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie on the other side.
"Rarity! Are we glad to see… Why are you carrying a humongous boulder?" Asked Twilight.
Rarity was in fact carrying a boulder. It seems she is seeing it as a diamond due to Discord's magic.
"What do you mean 'boulder'? This big bedazzling rock is a diamond! And it's mine. Keep your envious little eyes off it! I found it and it's mine fair and square!"
Rarity continued to carry the boulder with much difficulty. Twilight was very perplexed to say the least. Meanwhile, Fluttershy was hiding in a hedge. She was afraid, but she leapt out of the hedge to search for her friends.
"Okay, I can do this. I can… ahh!"
Fluttershy ran back into the hedge when something flew by her, but it was just three butterflies.
"Oh, wait a minute, butterflies? Wait! Don't leave me here!" Pleaded Fluttershy.
Unfortunately for her, the butterflies flew away. She chased after them and ended up getting lost. To her relief, the butterflies flew back to her. Upon closer examination, they had Discord's face, and their antenna was his horn and antler.
"Fluttershy, looks like you've been left behind by your so-called friends, huh?" Said the butterflies.
"Oh, no. I'm certain they're doing their best to find me," Said Fluttershy.
"Well, it must be so upsetting to know how weak and helpless they think you are."
"Not at all. I am weak and helpless, and I appreciate their understanding."
Talk about high self esteem.
"Yes… Well, surely it burns you up… I mean, that they're always pointing out your flaws, right?"
"Not really. In fact, I think I'm awfully lucky to have friends who want me to be the best I can be."
The butterflies disappeared, replaced by a rather frustrated Discord.
"Oh, for goodness sake! You've been kind for far too long, my dear," With a simple touch to the head, Fluttershy was under his control. "Time to be cruel. Arrivederci!"
Discord teleported away. One of the labyrinth's walls fell down, revealing Twilight and company.
"Fluttershy! I'm so glad to see a friendly face. This awful labyrinth is getting to everypony," Said Twilight.
"Aw, boo-hoo-hoo! Why don't you wave your magic little horn and make everything alright?" Asked Fluttershy sarcastically.
"Uh…"
"Oh, that's right, you can't. You don't have one," Said Fluttershy with attitude.
"What is happening to my friends?" Asked Twilight concernedly.
Fluttershy walked past Pinkie Pie and kicked her into a wall, to which Applejack laughed at.
"And what are you laughing at?" Asked Pinkie menacingly.
"Chocolate milk," Lied Applejack.
"Little help here!" Twilight helped Rarity with holding her 'diamond.' "Thanks, Twilight," Said Rarity.
"You're welcome-"
"But don't get any ideas about my gem! I know where you live."
Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash navigated the maze quickly. From time to time she hid behind some cover. She looked over her shoulder and saw a cloud with rainbow lightning striking out of it.
"I've got you now, element."
She chased the cloud to a clearing, and found Discord lying in a hammock made out of clouds, held up by two apple trees.
"Oh. I can see why you like these clouds so much. Very plush," Said Discord.
"Get off there and put 'em up! Come on! Let's go!" Said Rainbow.
She put her hooves up, ready to attack.
"Hey, I'm here to deliver a message," Said Discord.
"I've got a message for you too!" Remarked Rainbow.
"Listen closely, this is important. A weighty choice is yours to make: the right selection or a big mistake. If a wrong choice you choose to pursue, the foundations of home will crumble without you."
With a snap of his fingers, Discord made the cloud from a moment ago appear. It spun to reveal an image. Cloudsdale, Rainbow Dash's hometown, was falling apart. Buildings were collapsing, the cloud the city stood on was heading towards the earth, and ponies were running in fear.
"Cloudsdale? Crumble? Without me? No!"
Rainbow Dash was starting to succumb to Discord's mind control. A present appeared in front of her. It was teal with a yellow ribbon and bow.
"This box contains your wings. You can take them and leave the game, or you can carry on aimlessly wandering this maze. Your choice."
As Discord walked away, Rainbow Dash had lost her colors. Meanwhile, just like everyone else, Deadpool was wandering aimlessly through the maze. He was muttering to himself.
"This is stupid. Why are we playing some manic's game? He's obviously got some rule or trick that will let him win, so it doesn't matter if we play or not. 'No flying!' 'No magic!' Complained Deadpool.
(He didn't say no teleporters. Why don't we just use that?)
"Can't. The teleporter's still broken from the previous chapter."
Deadpool heard someone giggling. He looked behind him, and saw the origin of the giggling. Standing a few feet away from him was a unicorn mare. She had a white coat, blond mane, teal eyes, and a tornado cutie mark. Deadpool's jaw fell to the floor. The mare giggled again before running off.
"Hey! Where are you going, beautiful?!" Asked Deadpool in excitedly.
(Wade, this is a trap.)
Wade followed the mare through the labyrinth. He entered a clearing, and found her with a flirtatious smile.
"Hellooo… You wouldn't happen to know the directions to the middle of this here maze, do you?" Asked Deadpool flirtatiously.
"I do, but I'm afraid I can't tell you," Said the mare.
"Oh? Why not?"
"Because that would be cheating..."
"Ahhhhhh!"
The mare was actually Discord in disguise. Deadpool was horrified, while Discord was laughing his butt off.
"Y-You should see the look on your face!" Said Discord.
(Told you it was a trap.)
"Shut up."
Deadpool pulled out both his pistols, and aimed at Discord.
SNAP!
With a snap of his fingers, Discord turned them into bananas. Discord then pulled out his katanas.
SNAP!
They too changed, becoming balloon swords. In a last attempt, he pulled out a bazooka.
SNAP!
SPLAT!
The end of the bazooka switched places with the front, and a pie was launched out, hitting Deadpool in the face. He was then teleported into the sky. Instead of falling to the ground, he was floating. He couldn't move his limbs, however.
"What have you done to me?" Asked Deadpool.
"Don't worry, it won't last for long. I just wanted to get to know you," Said Discord.
"Why?"
"Because now that you are my enemy, I wanted to get some… information."
"I'm surprised you don't know much about me. You know everything about my friends. Even though you met them once,"
"That's because I used my powers to learn about the current wielders of the Elements of Harmony. You, I didn't learn about. So I decided to take the time and learn about you face to face instead," Explained Discord.
"You want to learn about me? Okay. First, my interests: I like taking long walks on the beach, eating tacos and cheerychangas, drinking beer, and filling villains with lead, posting a selfie of the kill with the hashtag 'Gotcha Bitch.'"
Some duct tape was magically tapped over Deadpool's mouth, his mask having been partially lifted.
"Still with that potty mouth. I thought you would have learned from our first encounter."
Discord put a hand on a corner of the tape. Deadpool was shaking his head furiously.
RIP!
"Ahhhhhhhhh!"
The tape was ripped off, leaving Deadpool's mouth red.
"Now, give me some information that would be of interest," Demanded Discord.
"Okay, my real name is Wade Wilson. I'm a hero like no other. I used to kill criminals. Hell, I often did it for fun. But I'm a changed pony now. I also have a healing factor that prevents me from dying," Explained Deadpool.
"Ah, there's a start. You seem to be a very powerful pony. If you can't die, then you are very hard to defeat," Reasoned Discord.
"Yeah, I suppose."
"If you were to, oh, I don't know, be removed of your moral filters, then you would spread a lot of chaos."
Discord looked Deadpool straight in the eyes and mind controlled him. The red parts of his suit faded.
"Ugh! I don't think so!"
Astonishingly, Wade was able to break free of Discord's influence.
"What?! How?!" Asked Discord in disbelief.
"Simple. My brain is too fucked up for you to be able to control. You could say it's too chaotic for even you, Discord," Quipped Deadpool.
"Argh! No matter, I don't need you to change. I can still win this game and take over Equestria."
Discord grabbed Wade by the head and threw him towards the ground. Meanwhile, everyone was still trekking through the labyrinth. Unfortunately for Twilight, she was carrying Rarity's 'diamond' by herself.
"Must… find… Wade and… Rainbow Dash." Said Twilight in between breaths.
"Ahhhhh!"
"Huh?"
"Oof!"
THUD!
Unable to react quick enough, Twilight was hit by Deadpool, the boulder she was carrying fell with a thud. Deadpool had landed on top of her.
"Found Deadpool," Said Applejack.
"Wade," Said Twilight.
"Yeah?" Questioned Deadpool.
"Get off of me."
Deadpool got off of Twilight quickly.
"Okay, we have Deadpool. Now we need to find Rainbow Dash," Said Twilight.
"Yeah, just give me a minute. I hit my head hard when I collided with-"
"ARGH!"
In a fit of rage, Rarity attacked Deadpool. She had him by the throat, strangling him.
"How dare you, Wade! You could have damaged it! Ruined it!" Shouted Rarity.
"Rarity!" Shouted Twilight.
"I knew I would die this way!" Thought Deadpool.
"Can one of you please help?" Asked Twilight.
"He looks fine to me," Lied Applejack.
"Don't help him; he had it coming," Said Fluttershy.
After much struggle, Twilight managed to pry Rarity off of Deadpool. He breathed heavily to get his oxygen levels up.
"... What the fuck, Rarity?! I could've probably, maybe, somewhat had a chance of, okay, I wasn't going to die. But seriously, why did you attack me?!" Asked Deadpool.
"You almost ruined my diamond!" Shouted Rarity while pointing at the boulder.
"Diamond? That's a stupid boulder. Are you high?"
"Guys, focus. We have to find Rainbow Dash. She won't let us down. Maybe she already found the Elements?" Thought Twilight optimistically.
"Well, looky there: Rainbow Dash is flying away. She's abandonin' us," Said Applejack.
"Now I know that's a lie. (Gasp) How can it be?" Asked Twilight in disbelief.
Just as Applejack said, Rainbow Dash was flying away from the labyrinth. The ground began to shake, thunder clouds formed in the sky, and the labyrinth's walls descended into the ground. Appearing in front of the ponies was none other than Discord.
"Well, well, well. Somepony broke the 'no wings; no magic' rule," Said Discord.
SNAP!
With a snap of his fingers, Discord gave Twilight and Rarity their horns back, and Fluttershy her wings. He then grabbed an umbrella that opened inside out from no where
"Game's over, my little ponies. You didn't find your precious elements. Looks like we might be due for a big old storm of chaos. Mwahaha!"
Lightning cracked across the sky. Twilight and Deadpool could only look on in horror.
To be continued…