Twilight Sparkle was busy reading a spell book in the main library of her home. She was absorbed into the collection of spells at her hooves.

SLAM!

Twilight looked up from her book to see Deadpool standing in the doorway. She immediately noticed that his costume was torn up. There were holes and tears in his suit, duct tape covering some of them.

"Hey, Deadpool. Are you okay?" Asked Twilight.

"Yeah, just had a busy day," Replied Deadpool.

"How so?"

"As a hero-for-hire, I tracked down and apprehended a group of thugs that had been causing trouble in Baltimare. I thought it was going to be easy to take them down, being a group of street thugs and all, but no, they had military grade weapons. They sprayed me with gunfire, causing the damage to my suit that you can see."

"... That's awful."

"Right?! Anyway, I'm going to take a nap."

Deadpool made his way downstairs to the living room, and Twilight went back to reading her book. The next day, Deadpool woke up to the sound of Twilight's voice.

"Deadpool," Said Twilight.

"H-Huh? Twilight? What time is it?" Asked Deadpool tiredly.

"8 o'clock in the morning. You've been asleep since yesterday afternoon. I didn't want to wake you, but Princess Celestia sent a letter to you. It might be important."

Twilight gave Deadpool the letter to him. It read…

Dear Wade,

I am in need of your help. I have been warned that I may be a target to a mercenary. Normally, I would entrust my royal guard with my protection, but for this particular threat I feel like I need your… expertise? Anyway, meet me at my throne room as soon as you arrive in Canterlot.

Sincerely, Princess Celestia.

"A mission? For me?" Questioned Deadpool.

"The Princess is in danger?! Why didn't she write to me and our friends as well?!" Asked Twilight.

"Am I sensing a hint of jealousy, Twilight?"

"What, no! Pfft! Me?! Jealous?! I just figured that since I am Celestia's personal protégé she would come to me if she had a problem."

"Well, apparently she just wants me. Maybe she's taking this as an opportunity to test me, or something."

"Perhaps... You should probably get ready to go. And don't forget to put on a different suit. I don't want you to have an audience with the Princess in a torn suit you patched with duct tape."

Nodding in agreement, Deadpool got up and began packing.

"Please don't end badly," Whispered Twilight to herself.

Deadpool hopped on a train to Canterlot, and, after a long ride, arrived at the station. After he got off the train, he looked at the palace on the other side of Canterlot. As he made his way, he took in his surroundings. He noticed a lot of ponies in fancy outfits, fabulous storefronts, and more beautiful architecture. Canterlot truly is an amazing place; no wonder it's the capital of Equestria. Once he got to the palace, he was about to make his way through the entrance when he was stopped by two guards.

"State your business," Said one guard.

"Ugh! This bullshit again," Said Deadpool annoyedly.

"Please tell us why you're here, sir," Said the other guard.

"It's nothing much. I had only gotten a letter from your boss! In said letter, she requested me to meet up with her. Besides just being a waste of my time, you're probably going to make me late. So, be good boys and let me through," Ordered Deadpool.

The guards looked at each other, annoyance in their eyes, but they ultimately moved aside. Deadpool walked past them with a grin seen through his mask. Once entering the throne room, he found Celestia sitting on her throne.

"Deadpool! A pleasure to see you again!" Greeted Celestia.

"Please the pleasure's all mine, Your Highness," Said Deadpool humbly.

"As you know, I had asked you here because I may be targeted by a mercenary."

"Yeah. How much do you know?"

"I'm afraid not much. I only know I'm being targeted because of an anonymous message. The only other thing I know is if what they say is true, the mercenary will strike today."

"I wouldn't take this lightly if it is true."

"Believe me, I am not. I'm also supposed to be holding a conference in front of the castle this afternoon."

"That's when they will attack. They would kill you in front of the public, causing panic and hysteria."

"My thoughts exactly. Do you by chance have an idea of who could be a suspect?"

"Pardon my Prench, Princess, but I know a lot of ponies who have the balls to attempt this. Who, though, I'm not sure."

"Until we find out who the mercenary is, do you mind guarding over me? You will be paid for your services."

"No need, Celestia. I'm doing this for free."

(What?! You're passing up a lot of money! Your friends have converted you!)

"Thank you, Wade. I would have also asked Twilight and her friends to help as well, but I feel this task is best suited for you. You faced many mercenaries like Taskmaster in the past, experience in both body-guarding and combat, and you have your healing factor. If Twilight and her friends got hurt trying to keep me safe, I may not be able to forgive myself… The conference will begin in a couple of hours, make any preparations you need, then we'll make our way outside."

"Yes, Princess."

A little while later, a crowd had gathered outside the front of the Canterlot Palace. There were reporters, government representatives, and more attending. Guards were keeping watch at multiple posts, ready to defend the princess if need be. Princess Celestia made her way to a podium, and began the conference.

"Good afternoon, everypony! Before we begin I would like to thank you all for attending this conference. Now, today I will be discussing about Equestria's current expenses, and discuss any alterations to next year's budget. Starting off with…"

Not far off to the left side of Celestia, Deadpool was watching out for the mercenary as well.

"Who would want to hire somepony to kill Celestia? Probably somepony that wants to rule Equestria, but doesn't have the balls to take her out themselves. God, I hope I don't mess this up," Thought Deadpool.

(How would you mess this up? Uh, never mind.)

"Thanks for the confidence boost."

(Sorry, shouldn't have said that. But trust me, you're not going to mess this up. You've got this.)

"Thanks, Serious. And ponies say to never listen to voices in your head."

(Yawn! I know we're on an important duty right now, but this conference is sooo boring! Nothing's happened yet, and we have to listen to some boring conference.)

"Relax. This conference shouldn't last too long."

Two hours later…

The conference was nearing its end. Deadpool was struggling to stay awake. His eyes would close, only for him to open them in an instant.

"Ow!"

Something bright had entered his eye. He looked around for the source of his eye pain, and noticed a small red dot on the back of Celestia's head.

"Wait a minute…"

Deadpool looked in the direction behind the dot. He looked at one of the palace towers, and saw a barrel from a sniper rifle.

"No…"

Deadpool sprung to action, and galloped towards the princess.

"Celestia!"

BANG!

"Ughhhh!"

Deadpool pushed Celestia out of the way just in time, getting shot in the head instead in the process. Ponies in the crowd ran away as fast as they could, their screams of terror canceling out most other sounds.

"Wade! Are you alright?" Asked Celestia concernedly.

"I'll be fine. You need to leave," Answered Deadpool with a slur.

"I'm going back inside the palace. Stop whoever is behind this."

Celestia and her guards ran inside the palace. Deadpool looked up, and saw a shadowy figure - the mercenary.

"Hey! Get down here now!" Ordered Deadpool.

They did as he said. The figure got down, and details of their appearance could be seen. The mercenary was a big male earth pony. He wore an armored combat suit with gauntlets and many weapons. His mask was painted to look like a skull.

"Wade Wilson," Said the mercenary.

"Crossbones. Should've guessed it was you targeting Celestia," Said Deadpool.

"Targeting Princess Celestia wasn't my idea; you know this. Someone wants somebody else dead, they hire a mercenary. And we get paid when the job is done."

"I'm not interested in your lecture. Why don't you tell me who hired you, so I can find them after arresting you."

"Can't. That would be going against customer confidentiality."

Crossbones pulled out two pistols and shot at Deadpool. Deadpool dodged the bullets, and took two shots with his guns. The bullets hit Crossbones' hooves, causing him to drop his guns, but was unharmed. Deadpool rushed towards him, guns blazing, but the bullets didn't do anything because of his armor. When Deadpool was close enough, Crossbones grabbed his hooves, and made him drop his guns. He followed up with a punch to the face, and threw him to the ground. Deadpool pulled out his katanas and slashed at Crossbones' mask. They managed to leave a couple of scratches. Crossbones extended a pair of stiletto blades from his gauntlets. Both combatants' blades clashed, and they tried to overpower the other.

CRACK!

"Ow!"

Crossbones kicked Deadpool in the shin, causing him to lose his focus. He took the opportunity to stab Deadpool in the stomach, causing him to bend over in pain.

SHNK!

"Guuugh!'

Crossbones took advantage of Deadpool's position, slashing his neck. He then took one of Deadpool's katanas, pinned him to a wall, and stabbed him in the chest, leaving him stuck to the wall. He grabbed his guns, and made his way inside the palace. Meanwhile, inside the castle, a royal guard ran up to Princess Celestia, sitting on her throne.

"Your Highness! Deadpool couldn't beat the mercenary known as Crossbones. He's making his way to the throne room, now!" Said the guard.

"Close and barricade the door, and get ready if he makes it in," Ordered Celestia.

"Yes, Your Highness."

The guards barricaded the throne room door, and got into position to protect the princess. There was a long silence; an unsettling silence.

THUMP! THUMP!

Heavy hoofsteps could be heard from the other side of the door. They eventually stopped by the door. Out of anticipation, a royal guard commander tightened his grip on his staff with his magic. Celestia, meanwhile, smelled something; a familiar smell - smoke.

KA-BOOM!

"Ahhhhh!"

Crossbones had brought the door down with explosives. A couple guards were caught in the blast radius, one died while the other was knocked unconscious, critically injured. Crossbones immediately went to action, and shot a couple of the guards dead. One guard tried to strike him, but was stabbed in the chest and kicked back. Another guard tried to attack as well. He ended up getting head butted in the face and sent flying. There was one guard left - a commander. He lunged at Crossbones and attacked. His blows were blocked, but as Crossbones was about to strike, the commander ducked down and stabbed him in the side with his staff. Crossbones grabbed him by the neck, and slammed him to the ground, then picked him up and pressed his head to the wall.

"I'll admit it, that was a good hit. Unfortunately, that won't be enough."

Crossbones pulled out the staff and tossed it aside. He smashed the commander's face into the wall, then lifted him over his shoulders, and brought him down back first quickly.

CRACK!

"Ugh!"

GASP!

Celestia gasped in horror as Crossbones snapped the commander's spine from the waist down. Afterwards, he tossed him aside as if he were a toy a child didn't want to play with anymore. As he turned around, he was struck by a powerful beam of magic. He was flung across the room, and, when he got up, saw the source of the magic - Celestia.

"You will face serious punishment for what you did to him and the rest of the guards!" Said Celestia furiously.

Crossbones got up, and looked at her with a cold gaze. She charged at him, and started to light her horn. Crossbones pulled out four metal discs, and threw them in her path, forming a square. They created a green containment field around Celestia. She tried to blast a hole through her prison, but it was unaffected by the attack.

"No point in trying to escape. This containment field was created by the brilliant ponies of Advanced Idea Mechanics. Besides being highly durable, it nullifies many forms of magic; even your magic," Explained Crossbones.

"You will not get away with this," Said Celestia.

"How? I will be stopped by the mouth dribbling idiot?"

Crossbones pushed a button on one of his gauntlets. Two cables came through the ceiling, connected to a zeppelin. He attached one cable to the containment field and sent it up. As he grabbed the other cable, Deadpool ran into the room.

"Stop!"

Deadpool ran towards Crossbones as he was being lifted to the zeppelin. He grabbed him and held on.

"Let go!"

Crossbones tried kicking Deadpool off, but wasn't succeeding. Both eventually made it inside the zeppelin where they continued to fight. Deadpool punched Crossbones in the face, and he retaliated by kneeing him in the stomach. He opened the back door, grabbed him by the neck, and dragged him to the edge. Deadpool secretly put his hoof on Crossbones' back, and then took it off.

"You failed, Deadpool. Once I toss you out, even though you won't be dead permanently, you will have lost. The Princess is captured, and you are not strong enough to stop me. Now it's time for me to say… goodbye."

Deadpool was thrown from the zeppelin, falling towards the ground fast.

"Guuugh!"

Unfortunately for Wade, he ended up falling on a flagpole on top of the castle. It went into his back and out of his stomach, staining the pole with his blood. Breathing heavily through the pain, he looked up, and watched the zeppelin fly away.

"Well… that could have gone better."

Earlier…

Princess Luna, co-ruler of Equestria, was asleep in her room. Being the princess of the night, she slept while Celestia rules during the day.

(Muffled) KA-BOOM!

Luna woke up due to an explosion from the throne room.

"Celestia!"

She made her way through the castle halls to the throne room. Eventually, she arrived at the throne room, back to current events. Guards were scurrying around the room, picking up their fallen brethren and those who were injured. Luna felt a pit in her stomach as she ran to a guard.

"What happened here?" Asked Luna.

"Princess Luna, we were attacked by a mercenary known as Crossbones. He killed almost all the guards assigned to protect Princess Celestia, and he has captured her," Answered the guard grimly.

Feeling like her heart stopped, Luna almost lost her composure, but remained strong for her sister.

"Where are they now?" Asked Luna.

"We don't know. Police are carrying out an investigation as we speak. Maybe there are some clues on top of the palace?" Suggested the guard.

Luna flew up through the hole in the ceiling, and looked around. Sure enough, she found Deadpool still skewered to the flagpole.

"Wade Wilson? Are… Are you alright?" Asked Luna.

"Oh, yeah. I'm totally fine," Answered Deadpool sarcastically.

"Where has the mercenary gone with my sister?"

"He took her in a zeppelin. Luckily, though, he didn't notice I put a tracker on him. As soon as I get free, I will go after him. U-Ugh!"

Deadpool grabbed the top of the pole, and began to slowly pull himself off. It was agonizing, and Princess Luna felt like she was going to puke. She closed her eyes, and used her magic to quickly pull him off.

"Ow! Ow! Ow! It's moments like this where I wish I didn't have a healing factor. It would have been better to have accepted my fate and die. Anyway…"

From somewhere, Deadpool pulled out what appeared to be a compass without arrows. An arrow magically appeared, and pointed northeast.

"Cool isn't it? It's a magic compass I picked up from one of my more magical adventures. It's connected to a tracking unit; wherever it goes, the compass will point to it. By the looks of it, Celestia and Jolly Roger are going northeast. They're moving at a speed that I could catch up to, assuming I find a way to fly," Said Deadpool.

"Once you get to them, how are you going to free Celestia and beat this 'Crossbones' character?" Asked Luna.

"I don't know, but I'll find a way."

"Very well. And I think I have a solution to your flying dilemma."

Meanwhile, aboard the zeppelin, Crossbones was piloting it to an undisclosed location. He set the zeppelin to autopilot, and made his way towards the back. He stood in front of Celestia, still imprisoned in the containment field.

"There are a lot of ponies in my field of work that dream of being able to do what I have just done. I mean, you're the almighty Princess Celestia! To other ponies you're like a god. My contractor will be very pleased. Plus, it will look good on my resumé for future contracts," Gloated Crossbones.

"What does your boss want with me?" Asked Celestia.

"Don't know, don't care. As long as I get paid, that's all that matters to me," Answered Crossbones.

"I hope you know that when you fail, the judgement of the citizens of Equestria will be brought down on you like a hammer to a nail."

"I don't know why you're drawing to that conclusion. Even if it does, I don't give a damn. I may get arrested, and I may end up doing hard time, but somepony will want me for whatever they will hire me for. When they do, they will just break me out, and I will be back at it again."

Just then, a beeping noise could be heard from the cockpit.

"That would be my contractor. I hate to cut our conversation short, but I have business to attend to."

Crossbones made his way into the cockpit, and closed the door, so Celestia couldn't listen in. He picked up an emblem depicting a skull with tentacles underneath. He pressed on the nose of the skull, and, magically, a live image of a stallion appeared. His face couldn't be seen, concealed by a hood.

"Crossbones. Have you killed Celestia?" Asked the stallion, speaking with a Germane accent.

"There were… complications, but I was able to go with plan B, and captured her for you instead," Answered Crossbones.

"Complications? What do you mean by that?"

"She was under the protection of Deadpool. Luckily, I skewered that moron to a flagpole. The Equestria flag is stained with his blood by now."

"You know that he cannot die."

"Yeah, yeah. Like he can stop me anyway. He had little success when we fought each other."

"He's going to find you, and when he does, he's going to fight you again."

Crossbones reached for his back, and took off the tracker. He then crushed it with his hoof.

"I'm counting on it," Said Crossbones.

"Very well. Meet up with me in Germaney, and I will reward you as promised." The stallion took off his hood revealing… Red Skull! "Until then, fare well, Rumlow."

"Hail Hydra."

The image of Red Skull faded away, leaving Crossbones to himself. Outside the zeppelin, Princess Luna was flying behind it. She was carrying a rather frightened Deadpool on her back.

"I don't know why I agreed to this!" Said Deadpool fearfully.

Luna flew up to the back door, and Deadpool began to pry it open.

"When you suggested I ride you up to Princess Celestia, this is not what I had in mind!" Princess Luna gave Deadpool an unamused facial expression. "Sorry, force of habit. I will rescue Celestia, and once she's free take her back to Canterlot, while I deal with Crossbones."

Deadpool opened the door, and Luna dropped him off inside before flying back a bit. Once inside, Deadpool shut the door. He could see Celestia in her prison. Noticing Crossbones wasn't nearby, he snuck up to Celestia.

"Deadpool!"

"I'll get you out, Princess. Now, how do I break you out of here?" Pondered Deadpool.

"You can't."

THUD!

Without warning, Crossbones sneaked behind Deadpool, and threw him across the room.

"You couldn't have just stayed and let the citizens of Equestria salute to the dimwit hanging shamefully on the flagpole?" Asked Crossbones.

"I would, but I have a princess to save."

Deadpool got up, and shot at Crossbones. A single bullet penetrated a weak spot in the villain's armor, hitting his arm.

"Gugh!"

Crossbones pulled out his own guns and shot Deadpool's hooves. He put them away and began to beat him up. He went for several right hooks, hitting him square in the jaw. Deadpool grabbed him by the waist and pinned him to the wall. He began to punch Crossbones' mask repeatedly.

CRACK!

He successfully broke the mask, revealing Rumlow's scarred face. Rumlow retaliated by extending a blade from his right gauntlet and stabbing him in the side. Wade grabbed his right fore hoof and removed the gauntlet. Both combatants kept fighting each other, eventually getting into the cockpit. Crossbones spun Deadpool around, and pressed him against the controls. He then extended the blade from his other gauntlet and got ready to strike.

"I'm going to kill you, toss your body out, and watch you die from the fall!"

As Crossbones went for the strike, Deadpool got free and moved out of the way

ZAP!

"Ahhhhhhhhhh!"

Crossbones accidentally stabbed the controls, sending electricity coursing through his body. While he managed to get free, the shock left him dazed. Deadpool took the opportunity to punch him square in the jaw, rendering him unconscious. Unfortunately, because the controls were destroyed, the zeppelin started to go down towards a field.

"Come on… Yes!"

Deadpool searched Crossbones, and found a remote. He pushed a button, which caused the containment field imprisoning Celestia to power off, freeing her.

"We've got a deadstick! We need to get out, now!" Said Deadpool.

Celestia nodded, and used her magic to grab Deadpool and Crossbones before opening the back door. Spreading her wings, she flew off, and met up with Luna. The alicorn sisters, with Deadpool and Crossbones in tow, made their way back to Canterlot. A while later, Crossbones was cuffed and being put in the back of a police chariot. As soon as the doors shut behind him, the chariot went on its way. The area around the palace was packed with reporters and journalists, gathering information about today's events for today and tomorrow's newspapers. Meanwhile, Celestia, Luna, and Deadpool were in the damaged throne room, keeping away from the crowds outside.

"Thank you, Wade. If Crossbones had been able to carry out his contract, I don't even want to think of what could've happened to me," Said Celestia grimly.

"I must thank you too, Wade. You brought Celestia back home safely. (Sigh) I was scared for you, sister," Said Luna.

"I know, Luna. We can only hope that Crossbones won't be able to harm us or others anymore now that he will be behind bars for a long time."

"Hopefully. Although, if there's anything comic books have taught us, nothing is ever truly over. And I apologize for the mess that Rumlow made in your palace," Said Deadpool apologetically.

"Oh, that's alright. This isn't the first time the palace has had damages. The only part that bothers me about all of this is how a stallion like Crossbones was able to easily tear through the royal guard and capture me. Many of my personal guards were killed or injured today. And how he effortlessly snapped the commander's spine..." Celestia shuddered at the thought of Crossbones' massacre. "Anyway, thank you for saving me, Deadpool. I know you said you don't need any payment, but I believe you deserve a reward."

"My sister's right. You're heroic actions saved her and brought a cold-blooded murderer to justice. There must be something we can do for you," Said Luna.

(Oh, oh! Let's ask for a threesome! Everypony will be jealous, and we'll live out one of our fantasies!)

"Even I know they won't agree to that. Hmm... Well, there is one thing I have in mind."

A few hours later, at the Golden Oak Library, Twilight was reorganizing her bookshelves yet again when she heard the door open.

"Oh, Deadpool! Welcome back! Is Princess Celestia..."

Twilight's jaw dropped to the floor. Standing in the doorway was Deadpool, and behind him was a wagon filled to the brim with cherrychangas. He was even eating one of them.

"Hi, Twilight. Do we have room in the fridge for five hundred cherrychangas?"

Fin.

Hope you all enjoyed the latest chapter of "Deadpool: Mercenary of Harmony"! Next week, Deadpool will be on another solo adventure. He will find himself in a bit of a pickle due to a notorious enemy of the Mane Six and Equestria. Until next time, this has been ThePhantomArchives, and I hope you all have a good day!