Deadpool was in Ponyville out on patrol… sort of. In reality he was sitting on top of a building, listening to music. He did have intentions of fighting crime, though.
"Yeah, I have to keep myself entertained while on patrol somehow."
"Help!"
Deadpool looked towards where the cry for help originated from, and saw a mare being jumped by four thugs.
"It's hero time!"
(Isn't that trademarked by Ben 10?)
Jumping from the building, he landed on top of one of the thugs, knocking him out. Another thug turned around and tried to punch Deadpool, but he was knocked out with a single uppercut. Deadpool ran towards the last two thugs, and slammed their heads together. He had defeated all of the thugs effortlessly.
"Woo! That was too easy! Are you alright, miss?" Asked Deadpool.
"Thank you. I'm alright, especially since now I have you where I want you," Answered the mare.
"Have me where you-"
WHAM!
Deadpool was hit from the back of the head by someone behind him. His vision got all blurry before he slipped out of consciousness.
Six hours later…
Deadpool was struggling to open his eyes. The blow to his head did a number on him. After a couple of minutes, he managed to keep his eyes open. The first thing he noticed was his surroundings. The area was dark, even though he could see good enough. He also noticed the walls had holes connected to tunnels that would appear and disappear. He then looked up and saw that he was trapped in a green, slimy capsule similar to a cocoon.
"This reminds me of a movie I watched the other night. What was it called? 'Infiltration of the Pod Ponies?' No, too ponified. 'Breach of the Aliens?' Whatever it was called, that is what my situation is like. I'm probably not going to get out of this anytime soon... Ah!"
When Deadpool lowered his head, he saw a rather startling creature. It was both equine and insect-like in appearance. It was primary black with light blue, pupil-less eyes. They also had a webbed mane and tail, bent horn, jagged ears, fangs sticking out of their mouth, insect-like wings, and holes in their legs. They also wore metallic blue armor with pieces sticking out beside the mouth that resembled insect mandibles.
"Please don't kill me and lay your eggs inside of me!" Pleaded Deadpool.
The creature just stood there and watched him.
"Not talkative, aye? Alrighty then, you're as ugly as a tatzlwurm!"
The creature was unresponsive.
"The color of your armor looks better on a Tacoma!"
There was still no response. If it didn't blink every few seconds, one might assume the creature was dead.
"Ha, ha! This is fun! You look like a pony and a fly had one ugly love child!"
Suddenly, six creatures that look like the one in front of Deadpool walked out of a tunnel in front of him. Three stood on the left and right, and one spoke up.
"Make way for her majesty, Queen Chrysalis."
At first, a large shadow could be seen in the tunnel. Then the creator of the shadow appeared, Queen Chrysalis. She was tall, about as tall as Celestia, and looked like her subjects, given some key characteristics. Her horn was riddled with holes, her wings tattered, a teal, unkempt mane and tail, dark green eyes with pupils, blue-green elytra covering her wings and back, and a top her head was a small, black crown with blue orbs on each point. She made her way towards Deadpool.
"Jesus Christ! Compared to her, you look like Chris Hemsworth as Thor!" Remarked Deadpool.
SMACK!
The creature in front of Deadpool smacked him in the face for his comment.
"Do not insult the Queen, pony!"
"So you do talk."
(I think she's kind of hot!)
(Yeah, but she seems very sketchy.)
(Has that stopped us before?)
(Touché.)
"A-Ahem!"
Deadpool looked up to give his attention to Queen Chrysalis.
"I am Queen Chrysalis, ruler of the changelings. I welcome you to my kingdom."
"Changelings?"
"Do you seriously not know what we are?"
"Yeah, no."
"(Growl) We changelings are a race of creatures that feed off of the love of other creatures, especially ponies."
Deadpool gagged out of disgust, even his mask changed color to a light shade of green.
"I've never heard anything so disgusting from this franchise!" Said Deadpool.
(What about the cartoon's theme song?)
"We do not talk about that!"
While Deadpool was talking to himself, Chrysalis was watching in confusion.
"In order to feed off of love, we can change our appearance."
Chrysalis was wrapped in a green inferno before reappearing. She shape-shifted to look exactly like Deadpool. She got every detail down, from the shade of red on his costume to his build.
"See?" Questioned Chrysalis.
"Wow! You even sound like me! Change into James Earl Jones next!" Said Deadpool excitedly.
"Shape shifting is not for entertainment purposes."
"Well then, if I don't get a show, then explain to me why I am here?'
Surrounded by a wall of green fire, Chrysalis reverted back to her true form.
"Deadpool, or should I say… Wade Wilson?" Asked Chrysalis.
(Oh, balls! She knows our name!)
(Both of them!)
"I had some of my subjects look for you because I wanted to test you."
"Test me? For what?"
"That will be revealed later. The test is simple: I'm going to have you face my guards in battle. If you beat them, besides getting the chance to leave, I will give you an opportunity of a lifetime. However, if you fail, then you are going to be a food source for our children."
"Okay, let me see if I got this right: you want to test me, so you can give me something, and if I fail I have a suckey fate? First off, you could have sent me a letter instead of resorting to kidnapping. Second, like I would take an offer from someone who has an antagonistic vibe to them."
"Your Highness, can we please kill him? He has only been conscious for five minutes, and I already want him to die," Said the changeling guard.
"I have that effect on a lot of people," Said Deadpool.
"No, that wouldn't do anything for us. He can regenerate from just about anything. Besides, he would be more useful to use alive. So, Deadpool, shall we make our way to where you will fight?" Asked Chrysalis.
"I don't really have much of a choice, do I?"
"No. Guards, cut him down."
One of the guards flew up, and used their horn to cut the cocoon holding Wade.
"Ahh!"
THUD!
After falling to the ground, Wade was picked up and held by his arms.
"Let's get on our way. My subjects have been waiting for this.
After about five minutes of walking through various tunnels, the group of Queen Chrysalis, her guards, and Deadpool were approaching the end of a tunnel where a bunch of voices could be heard. They entered a large room where a big, gaping pit with a narrow, circular path above it laid. Lots of changelings without any armor were on the path, cheering as the group entered. Once they stopped at the edge of the pit, Queen Chrysalis flew up above everyone.
"My loyal subjects! I have brought to you the pony that cannot die, Deadpool!" The crowd cheered to the top of their lungs, filling the room with applause. "And now that he is here, he will prove if he is valuable to us by fighting my royal guards in hoof-to-hoof combat!"
After hearing that, Deadpool checked his back and belt. None of his weapons were on his person.
"Guess I am going to have to fight the old-fashioned way. Also, I'm getting a major "Attack of the Clones" vibe off of this."
"Now with all of that out of the way, contenders make your way into the arena," Said Chrysalis.
Deadpool could feel himself getting dragged towards the arena. Based off of his best guess, it was at least twenty feet deep.
"Wait! I can't fly! Ahhhhhhhhh!"
THUD!
Landing on the dirt floor, Deadpool got up and saw the guards, who threw him in, fly down and circling around him.
"Let the battle commence!"
The crowd cheered from above. Deadpool looked at all of the guards, and began to count.
"Uno, dos… seven. Um, this isn't fair odds, one to seven."
Deadpool's complaint was ignored. All of the guards began to close in on him.
(Guess we're gonna have a challenge.)
(Oh! Let's have another song insertion! I'm thinking "X Gon Give It To Ya" by DMX. Uncensored of course.)
The guard directly in front of Deadpool ran towards him, and tried to buck him, but he grabbed his back leg, and spun him into two of his colleagues. He grabbed an oncoming punch from a different guard, twisted his wrist, and kicked the stomach of the aggressor. Two guards got up, and tried to grab him from behind. He noticed them, and slammed both of their heads together, knocking them out instantly. The crowd cheered at Deadpool's combat prowess.
"Only three more to go. Gah!"
While Deadpool's back was turned, a guard took the opportunity and stabbed him in the back with his horn. He then pulled his horn out, and bucked Deadpool into a wall.
"Oo…" Cried the crowd.
A different guard grabbed Deadpool, and faced the guard that stabbed him. Nodding in understanding, said guard began charging towards the two.
"Come on! I didn't want to do this, but since you're both trying to kill me…"
STOMP!
"Hiss!"
Deadpool stomped on the back hoof of the guard holding him, causing him to let go. He followed up by flipping the guard right in front of the charging guard. The guard was stabbed by his own colleague. Deadpool then grabbed the other guard by the head.
SNAP!
"... I'll kill both of you."
Meanwhile, Queen Chrysalis was watching the fight from up above. Even though two of her subjects were killed by the Merc with a Mouth, she didn't seem fazed. In fact, she grew a wicked grin on her face.
"He will be useful. Useful indeed."
SLAM!
Deadpool had his face pressed against the wall. From the corner of his eye, he saw the changeling guard that watched over him earlier.
"You may not be able to die, but I will enjoy beating the shit out of you," Said the guard.
"I wouldn't get cocky if I were you. I mean, you did see me kill two of your friends easily, right?"
"One reason why I'm going to enjoy this."
Deadpool had his head pulled back and slammed into the wall. Then again, and again, and again. This kept going for ten seconds until he was tossed to the ground. The guard stood over him, and punched his face repeatedly. Deadpool was getting brutally mauled. He needed to think of something fast, otherwise he would lose.
"Umph!"
Deadpool kicked the guard in the balls, and ran over to one of the guards he killed. Breathing through the pain, the last guard walked over to him.
"Any last words, pony?" Asked the guard.
"Yeah, your voice is very raspy. Do you have something in your throat?" Asked Deadpool.
"What?"
SHNK!
"Gur-guh!"
While the guard was making his way to him, Deadpool had snapped the horn off of the dead guard. When his opponent got close enough, Deadpool stabbed him in the throat with the horn. The guard fell over, frothing blood spouting from his neck. The crowd was silent, then they roared in applause. Two guards that didn't participate in the fight flew up to Queen Chrysalis, awaiting orders.
"Go get him and bring him to my throne room," Ordered Chrysalis.
"Yes, Your Highness."
Both guards flew down to where Deadpool was, and grabbed him by the shoulders.
"What are you two doing?" Asked Deadpool.
"We're taking you to Queen Chrysalis' throne room. She has plans for you," Said a guard.
"So I have heard."
And with that, they made their way to meet up with Queen Chrysalis. After some time traveling the perplexing tunnels of the Changeling Kingdom, Deadpool and guards arrived in Chrysalis' throne room. It was a large, almost empty room with holes connected to various tunnels making up its walls. The main centerpiece of the room was a giant throne. It was made up of some sort of rock, which glowed green. The seat was held up by narrow legs, the backrest had holes towards the top, and spikes adorned the top of the throne. Queen Chrysalis was sitting on her throne, looking towards Deadpool with a grin. The guards stopped him a few feet away from her.
"Thank you, guards. You may leave. I would like to speak to him alone." With a nod of their heads, the guards left. "Congratulations, Deadpool. You have truly impressed me with your fighting abilities," Said Chrysalis.
"Thanks. I aim to impress. Now that I entertained you and your followers, I can leave as promised, right?" Asked Deadpool.
"Of course you can. But, as I said earlier, I have an offer I believe you cannot refuse."
"Well then, lay it on me."
"Watching you take out my guards has shown me how special of a pony you are. Because of your combat prowess, and the fact you cannot die, my kingdom can benefit from someone with your abilities."
"So, what's your offer?"
"Besides three chests full of gems, you can rule by my side as my king."
"Holy shit!"
"Wow, um… That's quite the offer. I mean, we haven't even had a first date!" Said Deadpool in shock.
"Yes, all of this can be yours. You just have to do one thing for me in return," Said Chrysalis
"And that is?"
"(Chuckles) Kill Princess Celestia."
Deadpool's heart almost stopped when he heard what she said. In response to this, Chrysalis got down from her throne and stood in front of him.
"K-Kill Celestia?! Why?!" Asked Deadpool in shock.
"Simple. For a while now, I have been growing in power, and in a couple of weeks I can take over all of Equestria! The only one who can put a stop to my plans is her. If she was out of the picture, then I can take over Equestria with little challenge. When I heard about you, I believed you have a chance of killing her, and today you proved it," Explained Chrysalis.
"But she… My friends…"
"You don't need her or your friends. When you rule with me, you don't need anyone, but me and the entire changeling race. So, what do you say?"
(Wade, please tell me you know the to answer this?)
"I'm not going to do it! These past few months have improved my life. I have great friends who care about me, and that includes Celestia. I'm not going to lose that for a chance of power. I'm out of here."
As Deadpool was walking off, Chrysalis grit her teeth in anger.
"Fine, if you're going to be that way."
"Gah!"
Chrysalis sent a beam of magic towards Deadpool's head, trying to cast a spell on him.
"What are you doing to me?!" Asked Deadpool in agony.
"Your mind is chaotic, but I can make it mine."
After some intense concentration, Chrysalis succeeded. Deadpool was hypnotized, his eyes turned green.
"Now, let me ask again. Will you kill Celestia?" Asked Chrysalis.
"Yes, Chrysalis," Answered Deadpool.
"Good. Now come with me to my royal chambers. I have another task that requires your… dedication."
"Of course, my queen."
Chrysalis led Deadpool to a tunnel behind her throne to carry on with her plans.
The next day…
Deadpool was struggling to wake up. Any attempt at opening his eyes was met with resistance. After some struggle, he finally managed to keep them open.
"What? I'm at Twilight's place?"
Looking around, Deadpool was indeed in Twilight's living room, lying on the couch. Speaking of, Twilight Sparkle herself walked in.
"Morning, Deadpool!" Said Twilight.
"Twilight? What happened?" Asked Deadpool.
"I found you on the couch asleep yesterday afternoon, and you have been here since. Is everything okay?"
"I think so. I thought I was somewhere else, but I guess it was a dream."
"Well, I'm here if you want to talk about it. Spike is making breakfast, so feel free to come upstairs when you're ready."
"Thank you, Twilight."
With that, Twilight went upstairs. Deadpool got up from the couch to join her.
"Was all of that a dream?"
Hey everyone! Hope you all enjoyed the latest chapter of "Deadpool: Mercenary of Harmony". Stay tuned next week because the next chapter will introduce new but familiar faces, and will take place in a memorable episode of "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic". So until next time, this has been ThePhantomArchives, and I hope you all have a great day!