Author's Note: After a much-needed break, I'm happy to return with an all-new chapter of Beetlejuice Checks In. So glad so many people like it. And trust me, I have big plans for this fanfic.
There are 2 song parodies here. The first is a parody of "Glass of Water" from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. The second is a parody of "The Big Bad Cat's an Act" from Rugrats Go Wild.
Enjoy the chapter. Any and all comments are welcome.
"And this is your room." Charlie introduced as she entered the hotel suite with Beetlejuice and Vaggie. "What do you think?"
Beetlejuice took a moment to look around. He examined the dark-red colors on the walls and the black decorations. He clanked at his bed and went, "Mmm…"
"What's 'mmm'?" Vaggie asked.
"Well, it seems a bit too 'blah' for me." Beetlejuice explained. "Is it okay if I make my own touches to the place?"
"Sure." Charlie answered. "This place is meant to be your home until your redemption. Do whatever you want to the room if it makes you comfortable."
"Glad to hear it." Beetlejuice said.
He cracked his fingers before reaching into his jacket. Very quickly, he threw a bunch of stuff around, some of which Charlie and Vaggie had to dodge. Everything the black-and-white demon threw hit the walls of his room customizing it the way he likes it.
When he was done, Charlie and Vaggie finally eased up on the dodging and looked around. The new room now had a black-and-white pattern with spider-themed decorations. There were also posters of various things, such as The Exorcist, a game show about grossness, and sexy demon girls.
"Is it too much?" Beetlejuice asked. "I wouldn't want to overstep my bounds."
"It's all fine." Charlie said. "If you need anything, we'll be sure to answer the call."
"Well, now that you mention it," Beetlejuice said, "There is something I'd like to ask for."
Vaggie groaned. "Let's get this over with. What do you need?"
Beetlejuice:
Some room service if you don't mind
Some coffee if you'd be so kind
And some menu specials would be fine
If it's not too much to ask
"Oh, no problem at all." Charlie said. She and Vaggie turned to leave, but Beetlejuice suddenly flew over to cut them off before they could reach the door. He continued to sing his song.
Beetlejuice:
And as long as it is okay
There's something else I have to say
I'd like some pizza sometime today
If you can manage the task
"Are you done?" Vaggie asked.
Beetlejuice:
Oh, my friend, I'm afraid I'm not close
Because I realized I need new clothes
Something scary with an icky dose
To wear while I'm out in town
Plus, some shoe polish would be so nice
'Cause mine are squeezing like a vice
If it's within your budget price
I'd like you to come around
Also, I need a new TV
For anything but the Godfather 3
The Exorcist is just perfect for me
To watch until I'm double-dead
Make a list, 'cause I got more
A new demand that I have in store
Some bloody meat with extra gore
From the top of my spinning head
"Anything else?" Charlie asked.
Beetlejuice:
I'm looking forward to redemption
Despite the circumstance
Because as a certain princess says
Even demons deserve a second chance
"That's true." Charlie said. "So, if that's all, I'll…"
"TIME TO KICK IT UP A NOTCH!" Beetlejuice declared.
Beetlejuice:
I need that room service soon
'Cause I'm curled up in a cocoon
Nothing to do here in my room
But sit here and be still
If it's okay, I'd like a call girl
To bring to my room for a whirl
So worked up until I run to hurl
And she leaves behind the bill
And what else do I have in store
Oh, a magic act like I haven't seen before
A TV to check the game score
Or even a wild boar
A CYCLOPS DEMON WITH A FATAL SNORE
A GUY WHO LOOKS JUST LIKE EEYORE
AND MUCH, MUCH, MUCH, MUCH MOOOOOOOOOORE
Because what I deserve is
A simple thing to help me pull through
Until I be a good person just like you
So here's what you have to do
Hand me the phone, that's all
'CAUSE I NEED TO MAKE A CALL
TO ORDER A LITTLE ROOM SERVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICE
When he was done with his song, Vaggie brought to him a coffee mug. It was full of steaming coffee. She was not amused.
"Well, I couldn't get everything you asked for," Vaggie said, "But here's your coffee."
"Thank you." Beetlejuice said taking the coffee. He then looked inside and scowled. "Never mind. I can't take this. There's a bug in it."
"What the eff are you talking about?" Vaggie asked looking in the drink. "There's no…"
All of a sudden, a giant monster cricket splashed out of the coffee and roared in her face. Vaggie gasped out in terror before jumping back and pulling out her spear. That was before she noticed Beetlejuice laughing.
"PRICELESS!" he laughed before taking the bug and throwing it in his mouth to eat. "Ah. I love the taste of bug bits in the morning."
Vaggie's face turned red with anger. She pulled out a dagger and threw it at a spot which was near Beetlejuice's head.
"I hate you." she said.
"And I love this new jacket rack you just set up." Beetlejuice removed his jacket revealing a black tanktop with stains. He hung it on the dagger angering Vaggie some more until Charlie calmed her down.
"All right. Let's all calm down." Charlie said. "Beetlejuice, you just joined, so I don't blame you for not knowing, but we have rules. And since you're a guest, you're gonna have to follow them. One of those rules is, no pranks."
"Even the ones that are funny as eff?" Beetlejuice asked.
"Especially those." Vaggie said. "If you want to be a better man, you better start acting like one."
Beetlejuice sighed. "Fine. I'll be on my best behavior. It's just gonna get a little boring though. What time is the entertainment?"
"Entertainment?" Charlie asked.
"Yeah. You know, the place where you hire some proud entertainer to show off their singing or dancing or whatever talent they have at their disposal."
Charlie and Vaggie looked over at each other before the princess answered. "Well… The thing is… We… Um… How do I put this?"
"We don't have any of that." Vaggie said.
"Yeah. That."
"What?" Beetlejuice asked. "How do you not have any hired entertainers?"
"Look, we only just announced our hotel today, and we didn't get a lot of good coverage." Vaggie said. "So far, the only members of the staff right now are me, Charlie, Alastor as our executive producer, Husk as our bartender, and Niffty as our only maid. We're a little understaffed at the moment."
"So… there's nothing to do here?" Beetlejuice asked.
"Well, I wouldn't say 'nothing'." Charlie said. "We'll be doing activities regularly to progress our redemption. We'll play games, help others, learn valuable lessons, all in an effort to help you cross the Golden Gates of Heaven."
Beetlejuice stared blankly. "So… you don't actually have a plan?"
"We're doing our best." Vaggie said. "Just make yourself at home for now."
"Enjoy your stay." Charlie said as she and Vaggie left the room and closed the door behind them.
When the girls both left, Beetlejuice sighed and sat on the bed. He leaned on his arm, which was propped on top of his lap.
"Shit. This is gonna be harder than I thought. I need this hotel to be a success, but how can it be if there are barely any staff members? If only I…"
All of a sudden, Beetlejuice jerked his head from his hand and widened his eyes. He gasped before widening his mouth with a smile. That's when he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone.
"Time to call in some old friends."
The next day, Beetlejuice entered the lobby to find the others already there. Niffty was cleaning, Husk was at the bar while being hit on by Angel, Alastor summoned a bunch of lesser demons to fix the wall that broke down the other day, and Charlie and Vaggie were at the table going over a planning book. The two of them had Razzle and Dazzle hovering beside them while Kiki was laying on Charlie's lap.
"You all look like you're in a good mood." Beetlejuice said walking down the stairs to join everyone.
"A lot, thanks for asking." Charlie said.
"That's a matter of perspective." Husk said.
"And… we're done." Alastor said as the last of his lesser demons finished the repairs on the wall. "Good job, boys. Now, begone." He snapped his fingers and all the other demons vanished. "Well, that should do it. Charlie, the Hazbin Hotel is now back in one piece."
"Great." Charlie said. "So… about the name…"
"You think an Overlord like myself would be caught dead running a place called the Happiness Hotel?" Alastor laughed. "No. Hazbin just sounds better, and I think it fits better."
"Fits better?" Vaggie asked. "It's clearly a play on the word 'has been', which means something not even relevant."
"Well, that's basically anyone who can check into this place, right?" Alastor asked. "I mean, Charlie's a princess who's bleeding heart reduced her to being a sunshine and rainbows girl that no one takes seriously. Angel Dust may be a popular porn star, but he's not too rich as his boss, Valentino, likely keeps most of the proceeds he makes from his movies. Beetlejuice here may be a powerful Overlord like me, but he's without a single soul under his command."
"Tough talk coming from you." Beetlejuice said. "As I recall, you disappeared without a trace for seven years. Mind telling us where you've been?"
"'Fraid that's my business." Alastor answered. "The point is, anyone who checks in here is surely desperate enough for redemption, that they'd have to be at the bottom of the barrel. As such, the Hazbin Hotel was born."
"Well… I guess it does sound more eye-catching than the Happiness Hotel." Charlie said. "Okay then, Al. You brought the new name, you brought the new staff…"
"Oh, he's not the only one, Charles." Beetlejuice said earning everyone's attention.
"Excuse me?" Alastor asked.
"Well, I wanted to show my thankfulness for allowing me to stay here." Beetlejuice said. "So, to help, I thought I'd call a few friends to join our little family."
"On who's authority?" Vaggie asked.
"What? You're saying you don't need my help?"
"You hired some more demons?" Alastor asked with a chuckle. "My dear man, you're merely a guest. You don't have the authority to hire people behind our backs."
"What's the matter, Al? 'Fraid I'll usurp your position as the most helpful Overlord in this hotel?" Beetlejuice asked earning a murderous glance from Alastor. "Relax. I'm not hiring them. I'm just referring them. Speaking as their former boss, I can tell you they're quite experienced enough."
"Former boss?" Vaggie asked. "You mean these were souls that you owned? Why would they accept a job offer from you?"
"Well, most of my former souls are either killed off or enslaved by other demons. These four are basically my last free people. They probably would want to stay that way. Also, I told them that this place would be the big break they need to fulfill their dreams."
"Their dreams?" Charlie asked.
"You'll understand when they get here." KNOCK-KNOCK! "Speak of your daddy."
Charlie gasped with a smile. "New people! Perfect!" She rushed as fast as the Road Runner to the front door. She cleared her throat, brushed off any dust from her red suit, and opened the door. "Welcome to the Happi… I mean, the Hazbin Hotel!"
"Bonjour." the first demon greeted in a French accent. He was a tall skeleton with a short, blue shirt, red shorts, a red beret, and a small, thin mustache on his face. "Nice to finally be meeting you, Princess Charlotte."
"Oh. Just call me Charlie."
"Hey, Jacques!" Beetlejuice greeted.
"Ah. Beetlejuice." the skeleton greeted back as he entered the hotel with a whole briefcase. "How have you been doing?"
"Oh, you know. Just… hanging around." Beetlejuice answered before backflipping and hanging his feet on the railing of the upper floor. He then jumped off and returned to Jacques' side. "But enough about moi. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Jacques LaLean. I hired him to be in charge of your fitness center."
"We don't have a fitness center." Vaggie said.
"What?!" Jacques asked. "Beetlejuice, you said there was one."
"No, I said that if you came here, they'll make one." Beetlejuice said. "You see, guys, this bag of bones has a pretty adorable dream. He wants to be a master bodybuilder."
"Uh… Doesn't he need a body to build first?" Angel asked.
Jacques frowned. "Oh, I know. My hateful circumstances since being condemned to Hell has let my dream go unfulfilled. But then, Beetlejuice calls me and tells me of this hotel which can make my dream come true. So, your highness, if you'll have me, I'll gladly put in ze effort in making everyone fit enough to be welcome into Heaven."
Charlie smiled. "Well, sure. I suppose we can use one of the rooms for a fitness center. Although, we may have to squeeze money for exercise equipment."
"YOO-HOO! I'M HEEEEEEERE!"
Everyone followed the voice to the doorway, but were confused when they couldn't find a demon taking up the space. They looked around with no sign of anyone.
"Um, down here."
Everyone looked down and saw a big, pink spider waving up at them. She had yellow eyes and a pink hat that she wore on top of her head.
"Ooh! A pest!" Niffty said menacingly pulling out her dagger. She then proceeded to try and stab the spider.
"WHOA, WHOA! WAIT! AAHH!" The spider shrieked as she dodged the dagger and ran into the hotel. Niffty laughed maniacally as she chased and thrusted her dagger down a lot. The spider stopped at the bar before Beetlejuice jumped in between her and Niffty.
"Whoa, whoa! Hold your horses! Or better yet, hold mine." Beetlejuice said before pulling out two small horses and dropping them into Niffty's arms. "I can see this is a classic misunderstanding. Everyone, I'd like you to meet Ginger the Tap-Dancing Spider, one of the most innocent souls to ever walk the streets of Hell."
"Uh, if she's so innocent, why is she in Hell?" Angel asked.
"Well…" Ginger said with a nervous smile and a New York accent, "I may have stolen some of my moves from other dancers, both living and dead. But I can't help it. Coming up with original material is hard, and I want more than anything to be a famous tap dancer."
"And that's why I think she'll be perfect star material." Beetlejuice said. "I did say you need local entertainers, and I thought Ginger here would be a great start."
"So you really want to work at this hotel?" Charlie asked the spider.
"If I can perfect my act, I'd be delighted." Ginger said.
"Great. Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel, Ginger." Charlie said before turning to Niffty. "Now, Niffty, I know you're in charge of pest control, but I'd really like it if you would just try not to kill Ginger please."
Niffty turned her one eye at Ginger and licked her lips making her nervous. She then turned back to Charlie. "I only promise to try."
"That's the best you'll get out of her." Alastor said.
"AHEM!"
The sound of a big man was heard from the door. Everyone turned to see a very large man covered in brown fur. The only distinct features on him were his blue cloves, brown cowboy boots, a blue cowboy hat, and a mouth which was shown without any eyes above it. He entered beside a big-headed, pink dog with horns on its head.
"Who invited effing Gossamer?" Angel asked.
"I heard that!" the large demon yelled marching toward Angel Dust. "You dangnabbin, hornswagglin'…"
"WHOA! Enough with the country slang!" Beetlejuice interrupted. "Guys, I'd like you to meet the Monster Across the Street! And this little mutt is his dog, Poopsie."
"That ain't my name, and you know it, Beetlejuice!" the Monster shouted.
"Yeah, but your real name is too hard to pronounce, and you know it." Beetlejuice said. "It's much easier just to call you the Monster Across the Street, or Monster for short."
"Listen here, you effer!" Monster growled at Beetlejuice. "You're the last person I want to talk to, but times are hard, and I really need the money. So if you keep your underhanded schemin' from me for as little as you can, I can manage to work here."
"Well, thanks for coming, Mr. Monster." Charlie greeted. "Glad to have you here as our… Um… What can he be?"
"Judging by his size and build, I suppose he can fit as a bellhop." Alastor said.
"Does that pay well?" Monster asked.
"About ten dollars an hour." Alastor replied.
Monster shrugged. "Well, it's something at least."
"You know," Angel Dust said in a flirty tone toward Monster, "I could use a big, strong man like you to help me with my… luggage."
"Hard pass, spider boy!" Monster replied.
"What about me?" Niffty asked excitedly. She got eerily close to Monster with a flirtatious chuckle. "You're big, forceful, and mean. I like that in a bad boy."
"Somebody, get her away from me." Monster demanded.
"Well, is that everyone?" Beetlejuice asked. "Let's see... I invited Jacques, Ginger, and Monster. Who did I forget?"
"Excuse me?" asked a woman's voice.
For the last time, everyone looked in the doorway to find a beautiful, well-endowed woman standing there. She had green skin, big red hair, red high-heel shoes, and a red evening gown. She also wore a large, white sash over her shoulder which read "MISS ARGENTINA".
"Is this the hotel I've heard about?" the woman asked in a Buenos Aires accent.
"Oh, right! That's who I almost forgot!" Beetlejuice said walking up to the green woman. "Thanks for being here, Tina. You're the last to arrive."
"Thanks for giving me this chance, Beetlejuice." the green woman said.
"And she is…" Vaggie said.
"Gang, meet Miss Argentina, or just Tina for short." Beetlejuice introduced.
"What's with the sash?" Angel Dust asked.
"Oh, this?" Tina asked. "I kinda used to be a pageant queen before I died. Then, I lost, and…" She stopped for a moment to look at her wrists, which each had huge cut marks on them. "Well, I kinda made the wrong choice after that."
"Yeesh." Husk commented. "Ever thought of, maybe, ditching it."
Tina didn't answer. She just looked down to the floor and frowned.
"Well, in any case," Beetlejuice said, "Despite her sex appeal, she actually has some experience with bureaucratic fields, so I thought she might enjoy a job in records. I mean, we would need someone to keep track of who stays in which rooms and schedules, right?"
"I… guess that's a good point." Charlie said. "What do you say, Tina?"
"Anything is good, really." Tina said.
"Glad to have you on the team, Tina." Beetlejuice said.
Charlie took a moment and smiled toward her new hotel guests. "Wow. A fitness instructor, an entertainer, a bellhop, and a record worker. I gotta say, Beetlejuice, I'm impressed."
"Me too." Vaggie said. "How very… uncharacteristic."
"Indeed." Alastor said. He suddenly appeared behind Beetlejuice and whispered silently to him. "Just what are you up to?"
"Me? Nothing." Beetlejuice said. "I just want this hotel to succeed."
"But why?" Alastor asked.
"Hey, I should be asking you the same thing." Beetlejuice replied.
"…Touche." Alastor said before stepping away.
"Yeah, you better…" Beetlejuice was cut off by a chuckling sound. He turned and saw Monster looking at his phone and laughing quietly.
"Since when do you have a phone, Monster?" Beetlejuice asked. "You know how I feel about phones?"
"I know, but I can't help it." Monster said. "It's the only way I can check out Velvette's posts, and she's got some pretty funny words about you."
"Velvette?" Beetlejuice asked with widened eyes. "You're following her?! What does she say about me?! Gimme that!" He grabbed Monster's phone and read the posts on it.
"Did I miss something?" Charlie asked.
"Well, Beetlejuice and Velvette have a very bitter rivalry." Ginger said.
"They do?" Charlie asked. "Why?"
"A whole number of reasons." Ginger replied. "He has this weird hatred for phones. She doesn't have any respect for older demons."
"But ze main reason is this," Jacques said, "Apparently, Velvette once tried to make a deal with Beetlejuice, one that would make him famous like never before. But he refused and made it bigger on his own angering ze Social Media Demon. They've been bitter ever since."
"That sounds interesting." Alastor said.
Beetlejuice continued to scroll through Monster's phone reading the posts made by a demon with long, black-and-red hair with white streaks in it. She wore a sleeveless coat and a sleeveless tanktop with hearts on it, along with black-and-red pants.
"Oh, this girl's got the gall to say all this to me?!" Beetlejuice asked. "Well, just you wait!" Out of fury, he chuckled the throne across the room and let it shatter when it hit the wall.
"MOTHEREFFER, BEETLEJUICE!" Monster shouted. "I STILL HAD PAYMENTS ON THAT PHONE!"
"Don't worry. I'm sure I can snatch another one for you on my way back." Beetlejuice said straightening his jacket.
"Um, on your way back from where?" Charlie asked nervously.
"V Tower of course." Beetlejuice answered. "Velvette's latest post says she's having a showcase of her newest fashion design in an hour. Might as well go over and showcase a design of my own, one that will rival the prom scene in Carrie."
"Whoa, take it easy, buddy." Charlie said grabbing onto Beetlejuice's sleeve and holding him back. "You can't just go straight to V Tower."
"That bitch just posted fifty posts about how I was better off skewered by the angels since I'm so 'old' and 'irrelevant'." Beetlejuice said. "She deserves to have her ass kicked. I can't just let that go."
"Yes, you can." Vaggie said getting in Beetlejuice's way of the door. "It's called 'turning the other cheek'."
"Oh, I get it. So instead of her ass cheeks, I'll kick her face cheeks." Beetlejuice said. "That's even better. She's stupidly vain about her appearance."
"No, you idiot!" Vaggie shouted. "What I mean is, if you want to be better, you have to not engage in conflict with Velvette."
"If I don't retaliate, she's gonna call me a coward." Beetlejuice said.
"But if you don't, then you're the bigger person." Charlie said. "Just please, promise me not to go after Velvette."
Beetlejuice thought for a moment. "Yeah. Fine. I promise."
"Great." Charlie said. "Now, we don't have much in store for today, so everyone take some free time until supper."
"I've got cockroach stew on the menu." Niffty said.
"I think I'll order a pizza instead." Husk muttered.
Everyone proceeded to leave, but Beetlejuice sneaked in a small smirk along with two fingers which he had crossed behind his back.
A few minutes later, Beetlejuice returned to his room only to immediately open his window. He was one foot out when he heard an autotuned voice beside him.
"Leaving so soon?"
"WHOA, JESUS!" Beetlejuice shouted. "Seriously, Al! You can't sneak up on a guy like that!"
"You're planning to sneak out and confront Velvette, are you?" Alastor asked. "And after you promised Charlie too. Oh, the shame."
"Oh, what would you do if it was Vox who was dissing you?" Beetlejuice asked.
"That's different. I'm not a guest. I'm not the one who's promising to better himself only to go out and settle a petty grudge with a twisted diva."
"Well, I guess even I'm not perfect." Beetlejuice said. "Look, will you at least not tell Charlie about this?"
"Hmm… I guess I would be persuaded to not tell her." Alastor said. "All you have to do in return is tell me what it is you want from this hotel."
"Ugh! This again?" Beetlejuice asked annoyed. "Why do you even care why I'm here?"
"I care because I don't like not knowing things." Alastor said. "I already know why everyone else is here. Charlie has a bleeding heart for sinners, Vaggie wants to support her girlfriend, Angel Dust wants a free room, and Niffty and Husk are only here because I make them. Yet, all you've given are vague answers, and you haven't said what you want from this hotel exactly. After all, you're the last person I would think would want anything to do here."
"You mean besides you?" Beetlejuice asked. "You know what? I don't care. Blab your head off. I'm still going. Consider this my downfall!"
With this, he plummeted off the window and landed on the ground. Alastor looked out to watch him run off into the city.
"Hmm… I'll give him a ten-minute head start." he decided.
V Tower, home of the Vees, a trio of powerful Overlords who rule over different branches of popular media. There was Vox, who's power relied in TV and advertisements, Valentino, the leader of the porn studio, and Velvette, who ran the entire social media enterprise. Together, they make up a dangerous superpower in Hell.
In the main lobby of V Tower, a crowd of reporters and paparazzi photographers gathered around the center stage where Velvette herself stood alongside a collection of models, each wearing different fabulous outfits.
"Yeah, yeah, I know. You love 'em. Who effing wouldn't?" Velvette asked in her signature British accent. "We've all had a rough Extermination Day, but that's another one come and gone, and we don't have to wait until another year, so let's kick off another year with these latest designs from my sexy imagination. You wear these and look in a full-length mirror, and I'll guarantee you'll do everything you can to eff yourself like you normally do. That's right. Take a gander at these original pieces!"
While the crowd snapped pictures of her line, Velvette pulled out her phone to snap some selfies with herself and her clothes. She stopped though when her fifth photo showed Beetlejuice right behind her.
"They're originals, all right. And nobody wants a sequel."
The crowd shared Velvette's surprised reaction seeing Beetlejuice share the stage with her and her models. Velvette's proud expression turned sour as she growled at his direction.
"You. So you're still alive?"
"Well, technically no." Beetlejuice answered. "Sheesh, Vel. For a demon, you sure have a poor concept of how a soul works."
"What the eff are you even doing here, you filthy zebra?" Velvette asked.
"Well, I couldn't help but notice all those social media posts about you trashing me, so I thought I'd swing on by and cut you down to size. Although, it looks like somebody beat me to it. Hahaha!"
"I post a million things a day. That's how modern socializing works, you fossil! Now, get the eff out and go back to your nursing home, or wherever you sleep these days!"
"What? But I just got here. And I gotta say, I really love your newest collection." Beetlejuice turned to the models who froze in fear. "I just hope they don't get torn up in a catfight or anything like that."
"HA!" Velvette laughed. "Please. My employees obey me and only me. There's no way they're going to claw at each other just because you tell them to."
"Who said anything about them fighting each other?" Beetlejuice asked before snapping his fingers.
The tower shook for a moment before the doors burst open. A pack of wild kittens with red, glowing eyes ran in and brushed past the startled crowd. They watched as the kittens hopped on stage and jumped onto the models with their claws sticking out. Beetlejuice laughed seeing the kittens tear their clothes to shreds.
"Now, that's what I call a catfight!"
Velvette was so angry, she squeezed her phone in her hand until the screen cracked. She stuffed it into her pocket and stomped over to confront Beetlejuice face-to-face.
"You're really pushing your luck today, you son of a bitch." she growled.
"What was that?" Beetlejuice asked feigning deafness. "I can't hear you. I'm up here."
"AH! When I'm done with you, you'll wish you had let those angels kill you! Then, you'll finally be gone like you should have been a million years ago with the rest of the dinosaurs!"
"HA! Please." Beetlejuice scoffed. "Like I'm supposed to be intimidated by a munchkin with pigtails. Listen here because this is important. I'm the semi-inflatable, biodegradable, jack-of-all-trade-able Ghost with the Most. Everyone loves me, which means I'm never going out of style."
With another snap of his fingers, all the kittens stopped attacking the models. They then surrounded Beetlejuice bopping their heads around to the sound of music. They then began to sing to the music while Beetlejuice danced.
Kittens:
The juice is on the loose
The juice is on the loose
Beetlejuice:
Don't listen to this girl who's bouncing off the walls
My advice: you start blocking her calls
This bitch claims to be the Vees' backbone
But she can't even live without her phone
Don't you dare give in to her social abuse
Velvette:
Don't go and listen to this sad excuse
He thinks he's such hot shit, but he's just refuse
Beetlejuice:
All eyes on me now
The juice is on the loose
Kittens:
The juice is on the loose
The juice is on the loose
Velvette:
He's an old muppet
He thinks he's such hot shit, but he's just refuse
Kittens:
All eyes on him now
The juice is on the loose
Velvette:
Listen to the comments of someone long past his prime
It's his own fault for not staying with the times
This old fossil thinks he's such a classic
But he's too ancient to even be considered Jurassic
Beetlejuice:
Don't you dare give in to her social abuse
Velvette:
Don't go and listen to this sad excuse
He thinks he's such hot shit, but he's just refuse
Beetlejuice:
All eyes on me now
The juice is on the loose
Kittens:
The juice is on the loose
The juice is on the loose
Velvette:
He's an old muppet
He thinks he's such hot shit, but he's just refuse
Beetlejuice:
All eyes on me now
The juice is on the biodegradable
Jack-of-all-trade-able
Loose
Yeah, BJ's on the loose
I'm the Ghost With the Most, so take a breath
Velvette:
When it comes to Beetlejuice, everyone's swipes left
Beetlejuice:
Big talk from an Oompa Loompa
Velvette:
You're about to feel the full force of this diva
Warning: the following exchange may not be for the young audience
Velvette swiped her fingers in the air and levitated long ribbons from what was left of her models' clothes. She used the ribbons to swipe at Beetlejuice who just danced around them. Meanwhile, Charlie and Vaggie ran into the lobby and were shocked to find Beetlejuice fighting against Velvette. They ran past the crowd to try and get to them.
Kittens:
THE JUICE IS ON THE LOOSE
THE JUICE IS ON THE LOOSE
Velvette:
HE'S AN OLD MUPPET
HE THINKS HE'S SUCH HOT SHIT, BUT HE'S JUST REFUSE
Kittens:
ALL EYES ON HIM NOW
THE JUICE IS ON THE LOOSE
"Is that all you got?" Beetlejuice asked. "Please! I've fought trash cans that had more style! In fact, maybe I should introduce them to you! Maybe then, you won't be alone on Friday nights! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Kittens:
ALL EYES ON HIM NOW
THE JUICE IS ON THE LOOSE
"BEETLEJUICE!"
Everyone froze in place as Charlie yelled out the intruding demon's name. Everyone moved away from her and Vaggie as the latter glared daggers right at him.
"Hey, Charles, Vags, how's it going?" Beetlejuice asked.
"What he…" Velvette asked. "How the eff are you associated with the Princess of Hell?"
"You promised not to leave the hotel!" Charlie scolded pointing her index finger at Beetlejuice.
"Hotel?" Velvette asked. "Wait a minute! You're actually staying at that stupid hotel she talked about the other day? Why are you even bothering?"
"That's for me to know and you to eff yourself with." Beetlejuice said sticking his tongue out.
"ENOUGH!" Vaggie shouted. She held her spear up and slammed its dull end on the floor creating a long, loud ring that silenced the entire studio. "Beetlejuice, come! We're leaving!"
"Fine." he shrugged. "I had my fun anyway. Adios, pendejo." He followed Charlie and Vaggie as they left the lobby together. Velvette stood there with the most baffled reaction stuck on her face.
"What the eff?"
Just then, the sound of an elevator dinged. Two doors opened at the far end of the lobby and two more demons stepped out. One was Vox, who had a TV for a head while wearing a black suit, and Valentino, who was a moth with rose glasses, a red hat, and a red fur coat.
"All right, Velvette! What's with all the noise? Val and I were in the middle of…" The TV demon stopped yelling when he stopped to look around. The paparazzi were stunned, kittens were all over the place, models were mauled, and Velvette had a face that was both confused and angry.
Vox and Valentino looked at each other before sharing the same guess, which they then asked their social media partner. "Beetlejuice?"
"Beetlejuice."
"What… the… EFF WERE YOU THINKING?!" Vaggie yelled as soon as she, Charlie, and Beetlejuice returned to the hotel lobby. All the other guests and staff members watched from afar.
"Yeesh. And here, I thought she was furious at me for fighting Pentious the other day." Angel Dust commented.
"Is every guest conspiring to embarrass us?!" Vaggie asked angrily. "Seriously, Beetlejuice! Why did you even check into this hotel if you were just going to go out the next day just to pick a fight with one of the Vees?"
"Beetlejuice, you promised you wouldn't." Charlie said.
"Technically, I had my fingers crossed." Beetlejuice said holding up two fingers which were coiled around each other. "That makes me exempt from that… What did you call it?"
"A promise!" Charlie yelled before taking in a deep breath. "Beetlejuice, I want you to say you're sorry."
"You're sorry."
"Beetlejuice! Just say it!"
"It."
"Do you have any idea what kind of position we're in?" Vaggie asked. "After that effed-up announcement at the news station, we need to salvage as much self-esteem as we can to even look like we're worth checking out. When you showed up with a bunch of other staff members, you were supposed to commit to our cause. But now, you've thrown it out the window. We might as well just say your name three times and kick you out!"
"This just got interesting." Monster said with a bag of popcorn.
"Nice try, but no dice." Beetlejuice said. "You can't make me leave by saying my name three times. That's not how the curse works. I can only be summoned or forced to leave if my name is said by a living person, not demons."
Vaggie gritted her teeth while cursing in Spanish. Charlie approached her girlfriend to try and calm her down while Beetlejuice slouched in the chair he sat in. That's when he thought back to a memory that this whole situation reminded him of, a memory that made him drop his smile instantly.
"But you gave me your promise." said a teenage girl with pale skin, black hair, and a black dress.
"Oh, what's so important about keeping a… What did you call it again?"
"A promise! And it's important to me! Beetlejuice, I want you to say you're sorry!"
"I'm sorry."
Suddenly, everyone put on a surprised reaction. They turned to Beetlejuice as he frowned.
"Did… Did you just say…" Charlie asked.
"Yeah. I did. I said I was sorry." Beetlejuice said. "I know I broke my promise, and no amount of fingers crossing can fix it."
"Well, this is a development." Alastor commented.
"I know." Jacques said. "I don't think Beetlejuice ever apologized for anything."
"Juicy." Tina said.
"That was… unexpected." Vaggie said. "But still…"
"I know, I know. An apology can't undo what I've done." Beetlejuice said. "It's just that I've been a big, bad Overlord for centuries. It's hard for me to just change like that. But I really am trying. That's why I'm here. Am I going to be redeemed overnight? Of course not. That's unrealistic. Am I going to lose my self-control from time to time and get into more mischief? That's practically a guarantee. But do I want to change? Of course, I do. I'll do anything to get to Heaven. And if you'll have me, I'd like to keep trying my best."
Charlie stared at Beetlejuice before slowly growing a smile. She approached him and grabbed his hand to pull him up to his feet.
"Of course. After all, saying you're sorry is a very good start. You know, that just might be a good song. I'll have to write that down later."
"So I can stay?" Beetlejuice asked hopefully.
"Yeah. You can stay." Vaggie nodded. "Just quit making an ass out of yourself or us."
"Why don't you head on back to your room?" Charlie asked.
"Thanks, Charles." Beetlejuice said as he walked past her and up the stairs.
"Something tells me this ain't gonna be like any other job." Ginger said.
"No kidding." Tina said. "I don't know what's on Beetlejuice's mind, but I can tell he's really trying."
"Whatever he's doing, at least he's learning." Alastor said before turning to Charlie and Vaggie. "Moving on to another point of business, I think it's about time we talk about… advertisement."
Before anyone could say another word, Beetlejuice poked his head back out and called out to Charlie and Vaggie. "Oh! Hold on, everyone. I was just wondering, could I trouble you for just one more thing?"
"NO!" everyone shouted simultaneously.
"What? I was only going to ask for a little… room service."
Heaven, the afterlife for all good souls after they pass, where they are free to fly be at peace with every other celestial entity. But among the angels, a single woman passed through the crowd. She had white skin, yellow eyes, and a white, bobcut hairstyle. She also wore gray clothes and sported white wings with black stripes. Lastly, she had a black halo hovering over her head.
She entered a building where she heard the sound of someone playing loud, hard rock on a guitar. She approached the player, a tall angel with white robes, golden wings, a black helmet with curved horns and a yellow face projected on a screen, and a golden halo above his head. He played a golden guitar while the other angel approached him carefully.
"SIR? SIR? ADAM!"
"BOW-NOW-NOW-NOW-NOW! GUITAR SOLO! EFF, YEAH! OH, DAH, NAH…"
All of a sudden, the rock music came to an abrupt end when she approached and snatched the guitar out of his hands.
"What the… Lute, what the eff?! You don't snatch a man's guitar in the middle of his ripcord! You know I always have this private session after a good Extermination!"
"Sorry, Adam, sir." Lute said carefully putting the guitar on the wall. "But listen. I just got a report from the other exorcists. No one is sure about the details, but something happened."
Adam groaned loudly. "Fiiiiiiine! What is it?"
Lute pulled Adam to her so she could whisper in his ear. A second later, Adam's yellow eyes bulged open. She finally allowed him to stand up straight to process what he just heard.
"Well, that's a mood-killer." Adam said before picking up his guitar and strumming it hard. "Lute, we got work to do. Set up a meeting with Lucifer, or whoever he can spare. I don't care."
"As you wish, sir." Lute said before flying out.
Adam was left alone strumming his guitar in a sinister tone. "Those punks want to eff with me, huh? Then I'll just have to eff them right back!"