Twilight was busily organizing her library. She was pulling out and inserting various books on the shelves embedded in the walls. She did not realize it, but Deadpool was standing right behind her.
"Hey, Twilight," Said Deadpool.
"Gah!"
THUD!
Twilight was surprised by Deadpool, and, in the process, dropped some of her books. She used her telekinesis to pick up her books.
"Sorry Twi, didn't mean to startle you," Said Deadpool apologetically.
"It's okay, Wade. Did you want me for something?" Asked Twilight.
"Yeah, I got two tickets for the movies this afternoon." Deadpool reached into one of the pouches on his utility belt, and pulled out two yellow tickets, which he showed to Twilight. "I was wondering if you would be interested in going ?"
"That sounds fun, but I'm afraid I can't go. I have a lot of tasks I need to get done, including reorganizing the library and sorting through all of the spells given to me by Celestia."
"Can't you just wait to do any of that?" Twilight glared at Wade. "Okay, okay! I'll just find somepony else to go to the movies with."
With that, Deadpool went out the door and into town.
(Damn it! Of course she has a bunch of shit to do!)
(We could ask Spike if he wants to join us.)
"Can't. I overheard Twilight this morning say that he's on 'official' royal duty," Said Deadpool annoyedly.
(We have five other friends. I'm sure one of them is available.)
"Yup. Let's go ask everyone in the form of a brief montage."
Deadpool's first stop was the Carousel Boutique, where Rarity was at work on some dresses.
"Hey Rarity, do you want to go to the movies with me?" Asked Deadpool.
"I can't go, darling. I have five dresses to design and make within a week's deadline. I need to invest every minute of my time for this order," Answered Rarity.
After visiting Rarity, Deadpool went to Applejack's home - Sweet Apple Acres.
"Hey, Applejack. Want to go to the movies?" Asked Deadpool.
"Can't, Deadpool. Today's harvestin' day here in Sweet Apple Acres," Answered Applejack.
Deadpool went to the edge of town, where Rainbow Dash was in the sky.
"Rainbow Dash, do you want to go to the movies?" Asked Deadpool, shouting towards the sky.
"I would like to, Deadpool, but I have to go. There is a storm cloud heading towards Ponyville from the north I have to go move," Said Rainbow Dash.
Running out of options, Deadpool was outside Fluttershy's cottage. He was about to knock on the door when Fluttershy swung the door open, hitting him in the process. She then ran past him.
"Sorry, Wade! Have to get to Cloudsdale, now!" Said Fluttershy quickly.
Deadpool sighed heavily in irritation as the door closed, causing him to fall face first onto the ground.
Deadpool's last stop was Sugar Cube Corner. He looked exhausted from running all over town. Once he was inside, he saw Pinkie Pie behind the counter, stacking cake boxes on top of it.
"Hi, Deadpool!" Greeted Pinkie Pie.
"Hi. Let me guess, you are too busy to go to the movies as well?" Questioned Deadpool.
"Yup! I have thousands of cake orders to make, and it's just me here today."
"Fuck!"
(Great, a problem that will lead to a critical plot point! I hate those kinds of problems!)
THUD!
Deadpool let his head fall on an empty spot on the counter.
"Hey, why's your smile upside down?" Asked Pinkie.
Somehow, she was able to float upside down.
"Everypony has something to do, and I have two movie tickets for this afternoon. If only I could clone myself, so I don't have to go alone," Said Deadpool.
"You should have been around when I used the mirror pool," Said Pinkie.
"Mirror pool?"
"Oh yeah, you were out on a mission when it happened. The mirror pool is this cool magical pond in the Everfree Forest. If you walk in it while reciting a specific rhyme, you can create a clone of yourself!"
Deadpool perked up and grew a mischievous grin under his mask.
"Where in the Everfree Forest is this mirror pool?" Asked Deadpool.
"It's in the forest where the brambles are thickest. Normally, you would find a hole that leads to an underground cavern where the pool is. But luckily, Twilight sealed it with a boulder, so no one can use it again," Said Pinkie.
"We'll see about that," Thought Deadpool to himself.
A little while later, Deadpool was walking through the dark Everfree Forest. After walking a good distance into the forest, Deadpool saw a large, thick cluster of bramble bushes. Each branch was covered in sharp thorns. Some thorns were at least a couple inches long.
(Are you sure cloning ourselves will be worth shredding us to pieces?)
"Of course it will! Besides, like a couple of thorns are going to do much."
PRICK!
"Ow!"
As Deadpool walked through the bushes, he was being scratched and poked by thorns. Once he got through all of the bushes, he felt a sharp pain in his hindquarters. He reached behind himself and plucked a thorn from his ass before tossing it aside. He then looked down to the ground and saw the boulder that blocked the entrance to the mirror pool.
"This looks like the spot. Now, to lift this damn thing."
Deadpool grabbed two sides of the boulder, and lifted with his hind legs. He was able to lift it with only some difficulty. He tossed the boulder aside, and hopped into the hole.
"Who-hoo!"
Deadpool slid down a long dirt tunnel and eventually ended up in an underground cavern. The cavern was filled with bioluminescent plants and fungi, and in the center was the mirror pool. It was a small pond, but it was large enough for anyone to wade in.
"I'm pretty sure this is the pond that will clone us," Said Deadpool.
(Honestly, I thought this wasn't real. We were told about this from Pinkie Pie after all.)
Deadpool walked up to the pond and looked at his reflection.
"Okay, what was the rhyme Pinkie told me? 'And into his reflection he stared, yearning for one whose reflection he shared, and solemnly sweared not to be scared at the prospect of being doubly manned!'"
Deadpool's reflection began to ripple and it took form as a clone. It emerged from the water, and stood in front of the original. Both Deadpools leaned forward and stared at each other.
"Awesome!" Shouted both Deadpools in unison.
"Wait a second…"
The original Deadpool pulled out a sharpie marker and drew the number two on his clone's forehead.
"Just keeping track of who is who. Don't need another Clone Saga conspiracy. Now, what should I name you?" Pondered the original Deadpool.
"Cherrychangas," Answered the clone randomly.
"Don't worry, I'll sneak some into the theaters. Fuck it, I'll just have the author call you Deadpool Two."
"Okay. What movie are we seeing?" Asked Deadpool Two.
"We're going to see the new action film 'Midnight Heist.'"
"To the movies!" Said both Deadpools in unison.
One hour later...
Both Deadpools were sitting and watching the movie at the theaters, cherrychangas in hoof. They were currently watching on screen two gangs in a warehouse engaging in a shootout. Suddenly, an oil barrel was shot, causing an explosion.
"Fuck yeah!" Said both Deadpools.
While they were watching the movie, the majority of the other movie viewers were staring at both Deadpools.
Two more hours later...
The duo of Deadpools were walking back to the Golden Oak Library.
"Dude, that movie was so awesome!" Said Deadpool Two.
"I know! It was a perfect mix of action, comedy, drama, and a pinch of romance," Said the original Deadpool.
Arriving at the front door, they entered Twilight's home. Speaking of, Twilight entered the main library. She wasn't aware of the clone because she was reading a letter as she was walking.
"Hi, Twilight," Greeted Deadpool.
"Afternoon, Wa-"
Twilight stopped in her tracks with a gasp, immediately noticing both Deadpools. She dropped her letter in shock.
"Wade, WHAT did you do?!" Asked Twilight in shock.
"I went to the movies," Answered Deadpool.
"I was referring to the OTHER you!" Said Twilight irritatedly, pointing at the clone.
"Oh, right. First, introductions. Wade, this is Twilight. Twilight, met Wade."
"Hi, Twilight," Said Deadpool Two.
"As for how he came to be, Pinkie told me of this awesome pond called the mirror pool. If you walk into it while reciting a rhyme, a clone of yourself is made from your reflection! Isn't that awesome?!"
"No, it's not. When Pinkie cloned herself, her doppelgangers kept duplicating themselves until there was an entire army!" Explained Twilight.
"Come on, that won't happen. He's well behaved, right Wade?" Asked Deadpool.
"Yeah," Answered Deadpool Two.
"I need to fix this. Luckily, I know a spell that will destroy him."
Twilight's horn lit up as she was readying her attack. Deadpool stood in front of his clone to shield him.
"Wait! I promise he won't cause trouble! Please don't destroy him! I will take care of him," Pleaded Deadpool.
"Wait, what? I can take care of myself. I'm a strong, beautiful, independent woman who doesn't need no man," Said Deadpool Two.
Twilight looked at Deadpool, who was using puppy eyes to beg. She ceased her attack, and sighed in defeat.
"Fine. He can stay, on one condition. If he causes any trouble, he has to be destroyed," Said Twilight.
"Thanks, Twilight," Said Deadpool, sighing in relief.
"Now if you will excuse me, I have to finish my work."
On that note, Twilight went upstairs towards her room.
"Now that that's settled, let's go downstairs, Deadpool Two."
Deadpool and Deadpool Two went downstairs to the living room where they stayed for the rest of the evening. The next day, both Deadpools had returned to the mirror pool.
"So, why are we here?" Asked Deadpool Two.
"Real answer, to move the plot of the story forward. Personal answer, I have an idea that requires three of me," Answered Deadpool.
"Can I be the one who gets cloned?"
"Sure, just remember to say the rhyme."
Deadpool Two walked up to the mirror pool, and looked into his reflection.
"'And into his own reflection he stared, yearning for one whose reflection he shared, and solemnly sweared not to be scared at the prospect of being doubly manned!'"
The reflection came out of the pond, and the first clone wrote the number three on the new clone's forehead.
"Alright! You know what, forget being a hero. We should form a boy band - The Pool Brothers! I think we know who would be the handsome one…"
"Me!" Said all three Deadpools in unison.
All three Deadpools looked at each other in confusion.
"Uh, I'm the original Deadpool! Obviously that means I'm the most handsome one out of all us!" Said Deadpool.
"Wrong! I'm the handsome one! Did you see the way that mare looked at me on the way home yesterday?" Asked Deadpool Two.
"Yeah, I did. She was cringing because you had cherrychanga sauce all over your mask!"
"Guys, I'm obviously the handsome one! As the saying goes, third times the charm!"
Deadpool Three grabbed his mask, and pulled it off. Instead of revealing a heavily scarred face, he revealed Chris Hemsworth's face, radiating in a bright light with sparkles.
"Sweet Celestia! He's hot!" Cried Deadpool.
"Yeah..." Said Deadpool Two.
Deadpool looked underneath his first clone, then smacked him in the back of the head.
"Hey, put your 'friend' away! There's a time and place to be attracted towards Australian actors with luxurious golden hair. That's alone at home while watching any of the Marvel Cinematic Movies starring Thor," Said Deadpool.
Deadpool Three put his mask back on, looking smug.
"Told you I'm the handsome one. That's okay, though, there are other roles you guys can fill. Obviously based off his reaction, Deadpool Two would be the funny one," Said Deadpool Three.
"Wait just a minute! I was the one who cracked that joke about being sexually attracted towards Chris Hemsworth a moment ago! If anyone's the funny guy in this boy band, it's me!" Said Deadpool.
"Relax, this isn't a big deal."
"Yeah, you can be the... (snort)... the sensitive one!" Added Deadpool Two.
Both of the clones laughed at the expense of the original Deadpool.
"Sensitive?! I'm not sensitive! Why do you two have to be so mean to me!" Said Deadpool, tears welling up in his eyes.
"Well, should we make a third clone, so that way we have the smart one in this band?"
All Deadpools looked at each other, then laughed their asses off.
"Hahaha! Intelligence is a quality no Deadpool possesses!" Said Deadpool.
A little while later, the Deadpools had moved to a baseball field. Deadpool Two was on the pitcher's plate, Deadpool Three was on home plate with a metal bat, and the original Deadpool was behind him wearing an umpire's helmet and a baseball glove. The Deadpool Two somehow blew a bubble with some gun, even though he was wearing a mask. He pitched a baseball, and the other clone swung his bat, but missed.
"Remember, Deadpool Three, focus on the ball," Instructed Deadpool.
The clone nodded in understanding. Deadpool Two threw another ball, but the batter missed again. When the pitcher threw the next ball, the batter was able to hit it.
CLANG!
DING! DING! DING!
The baseball was bouncing off of random parts of the field. It then went back towards the original Deadpool.
SMACK!
"AYE-EEE!"
The baseball had hit Deadpool from behind, hitting his testicles directly.
"... The ball hit him in the balls!" Snickered Deadpool Three.
Both clones laughed hysterically at the expense of Deadpool, who was on his knees, clutching his testicles in pain.
"It's not funny!" Shouted Deadpool.
A couple minutes later, Deadpool and his clones were walking through Ponyville. The original Deadpool was walking with a noticeable limp, due to what happened to him not too long ago. Meanwhile, Twilight and Pinkie Pie were walking down the street to the right. Both girls have yet to notice them.
"Soooo… Deadpool actually used the mirror pool? Awesome!" Shouted Pinkie.
"Pinkie! I had the entrance to the mirror pool sealed off for a reason: to prevent anyone from cloning themselves again. And I specifically told you to NEVER tell Wade about it!" Said Deadpool.
"Pfft! Twilight, it's just one clone. How bad can it get?"
Both girls stopped in their tracks, gasping out of shock. Upon making the turn, Twilight and Pinkie saw all three Deadpools. Pinkie Pie grew a wide grin when she saw them, but Twilight facepalmed herself.
"You have got to be kidding me," Said Twilight annoyedly.
"Hi, Deadpools!" Greeted Pinkie excitedly.
All three Deadpools turned around and waved at the girls. Twilight wasn't amused at all.
"Wade, why did you make another clone?" Asked Twilight sternly.
"... Because I had an idea for an activity that required three of me," Answered Deadpool.
"That may or may not have been about forming a boy band," Added Deadpool Two.
"Hey, is the purple one Twilight?" Asked Deadpool Three.
"Yes," Answered Deadpool.
"Wow! You're right, she's hot-"
"Shut up!"
Deadpool covered his clone's mouth, so he couldn't say anything else. Thankfully, Twilight didn't seem to have picked up on what the clone said.
"Wade, I have to destroy him," Said Twilight sternly.
"What?! No!" Cried Deadpool.
"Would you rather I destroy both of your clones?"
"Uh… Hey! Is that Princess Celestia behind you?!"
Both Twilight and Pinkie looked behind themselves, then looked back. That was enough of a distraction for Deadpool and his clones to get away. Twilight growled in anger.
"I don't know why you would want to destroy them, Twilight. They're just two clones, and they haven't done anything wrong. And... can I tell you a secret?" Asked Pinkie nervously.
"Sure," Said Twilight with a sigh.
"Do you Pinkie Promise to never tell anyone?"
"Ugh... Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye."
"Okay, thank you. The truth is... I think Deadpool Three is cute."
Pinkie Pie had a noticeable blush on her face. Twilight could only look at her friend with confusion.
"Uh, Pinkie, he's a CLONE. He looks exactly like Deadpool and his other clone," Said Twilight.
"Hehe! You obviously don't know what Deadpool Three looks like under his mask," Said Pinkie.
Twilight gave her friend one last confused look before they continued walking down the street. Meanwhile, after a long run, all three Deadpools returned to the mirror pool.
"Listen up, Deadpool Three. Because I can only have one clone, you are going to live here for today. But because I don't want you to live by yourself forever, whenever all three of us aren't together, I will swap you with Deadpool Two and vice versa every day. That way, Twilight thinks I only have one clone. Sounds good?" Asked Deadpool.
"Yeah man," Answered Deadpool Three casually.
"Wait, wouldn't we have to switch masks because we have numbers on our-"
"Great! See you tomorrow!" Said Deadpool.
As soon as Deadpool and Deadpool Two left the cavern, Deadpool Three looked at the mirror pool.
"Hmmm…"
Two hours later, Twilight was leaving Sugar Cube Corner and making her way home. Deadpool walked past her from the opposite direction.
"Hi, Twilight!" Greeted Deadpool.
"Hi, Wade," Replied Twilight.
Shortly afterwards, she walked by another Deadpool, who was leaning against a house.
"Afternoon, Twilight!" Greeted Deadpool.
"Afternoon, Wade," Replied Twilight.
Then a group of five Deadpools walked by.
"Hi, Twilight!" Greeted the Deadpools in unison.
"Hi, Wades… Wades?!"
Twilight stopped in her tracks and checked her surroundings. Everywhere she looked, Deadpools abounded. Realizing there was a problem, Twilight ran back home. Once she walked through the door, she went downstairs towards the living room. She was stomping her hooves in anger, and once she got to the door, she swung it open.
SLAM!
"DEADPOOL!" Shouted Twilight.
Deadpool and his first clone had hid on the opposite side of the couch, and slowly poked their heads up.
"May I help you?" Asked Deadpool nervously.
"Why did you make more clones?!" Asked Twilight furiously.
"I don't know what you are talking about. I only made two."
Twilight used her telekinesis to carry Deadpool upstairs, and let go of him once they faced a window. Deadpool Two followed behind them.
"Then how do you explain… this?!" Asked Twilight.
Looking out the window, Deadpool saw the multiple clones of himself, and no other ponies.
"Hmm, I didn't make those," Said Deadpool.
"Then who did?!" Asked Twilight impatiently.
"Deadpool Three," Said Deadpool and Deadpool Two in unison.
"Where is he?" Asked Twilight.
"At the mirror pool…"
Twilight sighed out of irritation.
"Listen closely, Wade. We need to gather all of the clones in one place and destroy them, got it?" Asked Twilight.
"Okay… Does Deadpool Two have to be destroyed too?"
"We will discuss it later. Right now, we need to get all of your clones to the mirror pool."
"Um, if I can say something? I think I know how to get all of the Deadpools to come with us," Said Deadpool Two.
Meanwhile, all of the Deadpools were still outside. They were lazing around, bored out of their minds.
SNIFF!
All of them caught a whiff of a delicious smell. They all looked, and saw Deadpool, his clone, and Twilight running with…
"Cherrychangas!" Cried the Deadpools.
All of the Deadpools chased after the trio, making their way to the Everfree Forest. After a long chase, the trio stopped at the hole that led to the mirror pool, and threw the cherrychangas down it.
"Mine! Mine! Mine!"
All of the Deadpools jumped down the hole after the cherrychangas. Twilight and the two Deadpools followed after them. Once they got to the cavern, they were shocked at how many Deadpools there were. Besides the ones they brought over from Ponyville, there were dozens more in the cave. Some clones, having just been made, were coming out of the water. Amidst the crowd, Deadpool Three walked up to Twilight, his fellow clone, and their creator.
"Hey, guys!" Greeted Deadpool Three.
"Hey, bud. I see you have been busy," Said Deadpool.
"Yeah, I've made more friends… literally. Allow me to introduce y'all to everyone. This is Wade. This is also Wade. Wade. Wade. Wade. And this is Jerry."
Looking at the clone known by Jerry, he was drastically different from the other clones. His limbs were disproportionate to the rest of his body. He also had one eye bigger than the other, and a longer muzzle. And finally his suit's colors of red and black were swirled.
"What the fuck happened to him?" Asked Deadpool Two.
"Obviously, something went wrong during the cloning process. We don't have a definite idea of what went awry, but it may have been because WADE threw a grenade into the pond as he was being created!" Explained Deadpool Three irritatedly.
"Listen, Deadpool Three, I know that you can never have enough of me, but why did you make so many clones?" Asked Deadpool.
"It's simple, really. Just like various TV shows and other forms of media that have clones involved, I decided to make a clone army, so we can take over the world! Starting with Equestria!"
"I didn't see anyone else. What did you do with the citizens of Ponyville?" Asked Twilight.
"Ah, don't worry. They either hid inside their homes, or they ran off. We're binding our time to attack," Said Deadpool Three.
"You won't get the chance once we're through with you!" Said Twilight.
"Look around you, sweet checks! We heavily outnumber you! Plus, we are all doppelgangers of one of the most dangerous mercenaries in the world!"
"Well, I have a spell that will beat you and your clones with ease!"
"Get them!"
All of the clones rushed towards the trio. Twilight moved out of the way of one, and hit him with a beam of magic. He stopped in his tracks and looked towards you, the reader.
"Mr. Stark, I don't feel so good…"
POOF!
The clone turned into dust, and blew into the mirror pool. More clones tried to grab her, but they were all turned into dust. Meanwhile, Deadpool was fighting off multiple clones at once. He pulled out his magic pistols and shot many of them. Those that were shot were knocked out instantly thanks to the magic bolts the pistols fired. This gave Twilight an opportunity to cast her spell on them. When she had a free second, she would turn all of Deadpool's defeated clones into dust.
SMACK!
One of the clones managed to knock both of Deadpool's guns out of his hooves. He took out his twin katanas and began slicing. Hooves went flying, heads were rolling. Despite how many clones Deadpool managed to defeat, he was eventually tackled to the ground. His first clone, who had tried to help him, was tossed towards the opposite end of the cavern. Twilight was also being overwhelmed. One of the clones managed to get behind her and grab her. She was about to cast another spell, but she felt cold metal against her forehead. Deadpool Three had picked up one of Deadpool's guns, and a smug look was clearly seen through his mask. He used his free hoof to turn a dial on the side of the gun, setting it to a lethal setting.
"I wouldn't try to attack if I were you. So much as light you horn, and that brilliant little mind of yours will be blown to bits," Warned Deadpool Three sadistically.
Deadpool and Twilight were held captive with no way out. The former was forced to stand next to Twilight.
"Mwahaha! I told you you couldn't beat us! Now you will get to watch as I restore my army and take over Equestria!"
While Deadpool Three was distracted, Deadpool Two grabbed the other gun that was dropped and took aim.
BANG! BANG! BANG!
"Fuck!"
Deadpool Two shot the clones that were holding Twilight and Deadpool. He had also shot the gun out of Deadpool Three's hoof. This gave Twilight and Deadpool a chance to finish off the remaining clones. Deadpool Two was about to shoot again, but Deadpool Three tackled him. They were both fighting over the gun.
"You should be standing with us, not against us!" Said Deadpool Three bitterly.
"No, YOU should be with Equestria, not yourself!"
Deadpool Two flipped Deadpool Three around, and held him in a bear hug.
"Twilight, get him now!" Shouted Deadpool Two.
"But…"
"DO IT!"
ZAP!
"Nooooooo!"
Closing her eyes, Twilight cast the spell to turn Deadpool Three into dust. Sadly, because Deadpool Two held him to guarantee the spell would hit the evil clone, he too turned to dust. The original Deadpool, who was distinctive from his clones by the lack of a number on his forehead, held his head down in sadness, mourning for the loss of his first clone. Twilight put a comforting hoof on his back, rubbing it slowly. A couple minutes later, Deadpool and Twilight put the boulder that originally sealed the entrance to the cavern back, so hopefully, no one will stumble upon the mirror pool ever again.
"I'm sorry about the loss of your clone, Wade. His sacrifice saved the day. Even though no one else was here to witness it, he was a hero today," Said Twilight.
"He was, he really was. As much as I am going to miss him, it may be for the best. Today, I saw the consequences of messing with the laws of nature and playing God, like 'Jurassic Park'. And I mean (chuckles) as the saying goes nothing is better than the original," Said Deadpool arrogantly.
"Let's just go home," Deadpanned Twilight
With that, both heroes went on home, where they will rest until the next adventure.
Fin.
Hope you all enjoyed the latest chapter of "Deadpool: Mercenary of Harmony"! In case it isn't obvious by the title, this story is inspired and takes place after the episode "Too Many Pinkie Pies". Deadpool's antics with the mirror pool was fun to write about it, especially his interactions with his clones. I think it's safe to say that Deadpool won't be allowed anywhere near the mirror pool for a long time. Stay tuned for the next chapter, because Deadpool and a new ally will be facing against one of the Marvel Universe's most powerful beings. Until next time, this has been ThePhantomArchives, and I hope you all have a great day!