Celestia's sun rose across the sky, casting light across the land of Equestria. In the town of Ponyville, beams of sunlight lit up the bedroom of Twilight Sparkle. The sunlight in her eyes stirred her from her slumber. Shifting in her bed, she felt something solid touch her back. Curious as to what she felt, she turned around in her bed, and opened her eyes slightly. Laying on the opposite side of the bed was Wade Wilson. He was asleep on his side, back facing Twilight. A smile formed on her face, and she wrapped an arm around him. They stayed in this position for a few minutes before Deadpool turned onto his back. He slowly opened his eyes, then looked at Twilight. He smiled affectionately, then placed a kiss on her forehead.
"Hey… Morning," Said Deadpool tiredly.
"Morning. How did you sleep?" Asked Twilight.
"Good. I had the weirdest dream last night. I was Spider-Pony, but when I at some point took my mask off, instead of my face, I had Wolverine's face. I think that drink I had on our date last night had a hoof in it."
Twilight shook her head, but with a smile on her face. She hopped out of bed, with Wade following behind her. While he was putting on one of his trademark suits, she opened her bedroom window, and took a deep breath, breathing in the fresh morning air.
"It's so beautiful outside this morning! I can tell today is going to be a great day!" Said Twilight enthusiastically.
"Are you about to sing?" Asked Deadpool.
"You know what? I think I will!" Replied Twilight.
"Well, have fun. I would listen to your musical number, but I just woke up. I will be downstairs, getting myself a cup of coffee."
Once Deadpool left the room, Twilight began to sing. During her singing, she woke up Spike, who was irritated from being woken up. She even went outside and singed for all of Ponyville to hear. Eventually, she got to the chorus of her song. She was about to finish it, when suddenly water poured onto her head. Left with a soaked mane, she was annoyed to say the least. That was when Deadpool met up with her outside, holding a cup of coffee.
(Oh, look! Twilight's "wet"!)
(She couldn't resist us!)
"Seems like a certain rainbow-maned pegasus has rained on your parade," Remarked Deadpool.
"Rainbow Dash, that's not funny!" Said Twilight irritatedly.
"Terribly sorry, darling. I'm afraid I'm not good with the… thundery ones."
Twilight did a double take. She expected to hear Rainbow Dash telling her she needed to lighten up. Instead, she heard the voice of one of her other friends - Rarity. Looking over her right, she saw her. The unicorn fashionista was standing on a bridge, trying to control miniature storm clouds with the aid of her magic. Her efforts were to no avail, though. When she turned her back for a brief moment, Twilight saw a surprising sight. On Rarity's flank was not her cutie mark consisting of three diamonds, but Rainbow Dash's cutie mark of a cloud with a rainbow lightning bolt.
"Something tells me everything is not going to be fine," Said Twilight.
She and Deadpool watched in confusion as Rarity was struggling to control the weather. The area around them was either being soaked in a downpour or covered in a blanket of snow. Deadpool took one last sip of his coffee before looking inside his mug, which had the words "#1 Superhero" written on it.
"Am I tripping, or is Rarity doing Rainbow Dash's job? Did I put too much sugar in my coffee? I suppose twenty-four scoops of sugar was a bit of an overkill," Mumbled Deadpool.
"What are you doing? What happened to your cutie mark?" Asked Twilight to Rarity.
"Whatever do you mean, Twilight? I'm simply doing what I've done since the day it first appeared. Does my sky look fabulous or what?"
The citizens of Ponyville don't seem to think the sky was great. A crowd formed around the group of friends, complaining to Rarity about the weather.
"Too last season?" Asked Rarity.
"Where is Rainbow Dash? Why isn't she handling this?" Asked Twilight.
She tried to ask Rarity, but her voice was drowned out by the angry bickering of the crowd. A few minutes later, Twilight, Deadpool, and, now joining them, Spike, were traveling down the dirt road leading to Fluttershy's cottage. Spike let out a yawn, having just got out of bed, despite Twilight waking him earlier.
"I still don't know what you had to wake me up for. I love sleeping in the rain," Said Spike tiredly.
"It's not about the weather, Spike. Rarity had Rainbow Dash's cutie mark, and said this was Rainbow Dash's cottage. Something strange is going on," Said Twilight.
"Hold on, Twilight. Let's not jump to conclusions. Maybe there's some new technology that allows you to change your cutie mark, like a magic tattoo pen. If that's true, I could finally replace my cutie mark with my logo," Said Deadpool.
The three friends stopped at the door to "Rainbow Dash's" cottage. Twilight reached a foreleg out, and knocked on the door. The door opened slightly, and Rainbow Dash poked her head out.
"Hey, guys," Greeted Rainbow Dash.
"Rainbow Dash! Why is Rarity doing your job?" Asked Twilight.
CRASH!
Before Rainbow Dash could answer Twilight's question, a loud crash was heard inside the cottage. Rainbow Dash, quick as ever, flew inside frantically.
"And what in Equestria is going on in… here?"
Twilight, Deadpool, and Spike were left speechless at the sight before them. Animals of all kinds, from songbirds to squirrels, to raccoons and even a seal, were causing a ruckus inside the cottage. Rainbow Dash tried to get them to calm down, but to no avail.
"The animals haven't been listening to me today. They've been acting up all day," Said Rainbow.
"She has Fluttershy's cutie mark, just like how Rarity has hers," Whispered Deadpool to Twilight.
"Rainbow Dash, why do you have Fluttershy's cutie mark?" Asked Twilight.
"What do you mean, Twilight? This is the cutie mark I've had since I was a little filly," Said Rainbow.
"This doesn't make sense. What happened to you and Rarity?"
"This… This is the plot of the chapter. I bet the rest of our friends have had their cutie marks switched too!"
Out of excitement for discovering the plot to the chapter, Deadpool got up on his hind legs, and threw his arms back. He hit something with his right arm. He looked over his shoulder to see what he hit. Standing behind him was a large brown bear, glaring at him. The bear grabbed him by the throat, and began to take him outside.
"Harry… I didn't mean to… Rainbow Dash, help!" Said Deadpool in between breaths.
"Now, Harry, Wade didn't mean to hit you. Please, let him go," Ordered Rainbow.
Harry ignored her, and shut the door behind him. The sounds of punching and scratching could be heard outside, along with the sounds of Wade screaming.
"Ahhhhhhh!"
A little while later, at Sugarcube Corner, Deadpool, Twilight, and Spike were standing in front of the entrance. The former was leaning up against the door for support, having endured a bear attack. His costume was ripped to shreds as evidence of what happened.
"Are you sure you don't want to go home and rest, Wade? Harry did a number on you," Said Twilight.
"I appreciate the concern, Twi, but I will be alright. Harry and I are cool, now. I'm just glad I received the bear version of 'roughed up a little', Said Wade.
Opening the door, the group of friends saw a large crowd of ponies gathered in the center of the room. In the center of the crowd was Fluttershy. Having Pinkie Pie's cutie mark, she was trying to make the crowd laugh. She wore a pair of glasses with a fake nose and hairy eyebrows and moustache on it. Not even getting a chuckle out of the crowd, she tossed the glasses aside. She then grabbed a party horn, and blew into it, producing a single note. The crowd started laughing, bringing joy to Fluttershy. But then she looked towards the exit, and realized the crowd wasn't laughing because of her. When she tossed the glasses, they ended up landing on Spike's face, and he was doing a little dance. It was because of him why they were laughing.
"Hey, Fluttershy. What are you doing?" Asked Twilight.
"I'm trying to get all of these ponies to laugh, but nothing I'm doing is working," Answered Fluttershy.
"Well, apparently you can ask Spike for pointers." Deadpool pointed towards Spike, who still had the glasses on his face. "Of course, you can talk to me for comedy advice. People laugh every time I break the fourth wall. Right, readers?"
"Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash is in your cottage, and has your cutie mark. What happened to you two?" Asked Twilight.
"I don't know what you're talking about, Twilight. I live and work here in Sugarcube Corner, and I've had my cutie mark since I was small. It's my destiny to bring smiles and laughter to others," Said Fluttershy.
"Just like Rarity and Rainbow Dash, she thinks her cutie mark is the one she's had since she was a filly. Come on guys, let's go check on Pinkie and Applejack."
The next stop was Sweet Apple Acres. Searching the orchards, Deadpool, Twilight, and Spike found Pinkie Pie. She was lying on her back facing the ground, apples scattered all over the ground. Upon close inspection of her flank, one could see she had Applejack's cutie mark. That was not the only thing different about her, though. Her mane and tail were straightened, "deflated" if you will.
"Pinkie, are you okay?" Asked Twilight.
"I'm fine, the trees are being stubborn today, that's all." Pinkie got up, and placed all of the apples on the ground into buckets. "What brings you guys here to my family orchard?"
"You, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Fluttershy have had your cutie marks swapped. I was hoping you might know what happened."
"Sorry, Twi, but I have no idea what you are talking about. I've had this cutie mark for years, and so have the others. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have more apples to buck."
"Would you at least like some help, 'Apple Pie'?" Asked Deadpool.
"That's kind of you, but I got this."
Pinkie Pie turned her back on a tree, and bucked it. Unfortunately, her hind legs bounced off the tree, and she fell on her face. As soon as she got back up, she noticed shurikens tossed overhead. They clipped the stems of the apples on the tree, and the red fruits fell into buckets. Looking straight ahead, she saw Deadpool, holding a couple shurikens in his hoof.
"On second thought, maybe I will take you up on your offer," Said Pinkie.
After helping Pinkie, they had one more stop to make. Arriving at the Carousel Boutique, they saw Applejack working on dresses. Despite having Rarity's cutie mark, she doesn't have her skill in fashion design. Every dress she made was either rags sewn together, or a mish-mash of random clothes.
"Jeez. Remind me to never go to Applejack for help with patching up my suit," Muttered Deadpool.
"Wade, I'm glad you're here. I have somethin' I want ya to try on," Said Applejack.
"I just remembered that Fluttershy wanted to practice some new jokes on me."
Deadpool tried to escape, but Applejack grabbed him before he could get out the door. She then dragged him behind a curtain. After a minute, she came out from behind the curtain with Wade following her. Wade was wearing a purple hoop skirt, red clown shoes on all four of his hooves, and a sombrero that was upside down in a goofy fashion. He still wore his suit
"So, what do ya think?" Applejack directed Deadpool to a mirror, showing him his outfit. "I came up with it just now."
"What do I think? I think I will be… the newest fashion sensation! I have to show this to Ponyville!"
Deadpool ran outside, slamming the door behind him. Not even a second later, laughter from multiple ponies could be heard from outside. Deadpool walked back inside, looking rather glum.
"I was not the newest fashion sensation. I was what I always have been - comedy relief," Said Deadpool glumly.
"Another dud. Onto the next project I suppose," Said Applejack.
"Let me guess, Applejack, you have had that cutie mark since you were a little filly?" Questioned Twilight.
"Yup, ever since I got this here cutie mark, I knew it was my destiny to become a fashionista."
Having gotten her answer, Twilight tried to think of how her friends had their cutie marks swapped. An idea came to her eventually, causing her to panic. She ran out the door, with Spike and Deadpool (who was now wearing just his suit) following behind her. After a quick run, they all returned home to the Golden Oak Library. Twilight paced around the room, looking rather worried.
"This is bad. This is very, very bad," Said Twilight.
"What's going on? Why is this happening?!" Asked Spike.
"Last night, when you were taking one of your seven hour bubble baths and Wade and I returned home, I got a special delivery from the princess…"
Twelve hours earlier...
Twilight was in the main library. She and Wade had just returned from their date, the latter was getting ready for bed. Twilight herself was getting ready to turn in for the night too when she heard a knock at her door. She opened the door, revealing a mail-pony.
"Package for Ms. Twilight Sparkle."
The mail-pony gave Twilight a small package. Unfortunately for him, before he could get her signature, she shut the door. Opening the package, its contents contained a letter and a leather bound book. The former was written by Twilight's mentor, Princess Celestia. She first started by reading the scroll.
"Dear Twilight Sparkle. The spell contained on the last page of this book is Star Swirl the Bearded's secret unfinished masterpiece." Twilight gasped out of excitement, looking at the book she held in her magic with awe. "He was never able to get it right, and thus abandoned it. I believe you are the only pony who can understand and rewrite it. Princess Celestia."
Opening the book to the final page, Twilight found the aforementioned spell. She only needed a quick glance at it in order to memorize it.
"From one to another, another to one. A mark of one's destiny singled out alone, fulfilled."
Behind Twilight was a large glass display case. It contained the Elements of Harmony. After she had cast the spell, her Element glowed, and cast a beam of magic at the rest of the Elements. The colors of the five Elements were swapped, while the Element of Magic was untouched. This went unnoticed by Twilight.
"That doesn't make any sense. It doesn't even rhyme!"
Deciding to look over the spell again at a different time, Twilight set the book down on the center island, and went upstairs to bed.
Back in the present day, she looked at the display case containing the Elements of Harmony. The colors of her friends' Elements remained swapped.
"I cast the spell, so I could find out what it was, but nothing seemed to happen. But now I know something DID happen. The spell has changed the Elements of Harmony! That must be why their cutie marks are wrong!" Reasoned Twilight.
"So, just cast a counterspell to switch them back," Said Spike.
Twilight grabbed the book, and searched through its contents. Unfortunately, she couldn't find a counterspell.
"Oh. There is no counterspell!" Said Twilight.
"Hmm… Oh, big brain idea! How about you use that memory spell you used to fix me and everypony else when Discord was bad?" Suggested Deadpool.
"Not a bad idea, Wade, but it's not their memories that have been affected. It's their true selves that have been altered!"
"Zecora's cure for the cutie pox?" Suggested Spike.
"That won't work either."
"Reboot the entire franchise?" Suggested Deadpool.
Ignoring Deadpool, Twilight gave Spike the book. She looked down at the floor while walking slowly upstairs.
"Well (Sigh), maybe it won't be so bad. Maybe our friends will grow to like their new lives," Said Spike optimistically.
"Or at least give fanfiction writers ideas for what if stories," Added Deadpool.
"No guys, they're not who they are meant to be anymore. Their destinies are now changed, and it's all my fault," Said Twilight sadly.
Deadpool followed closely behind her.
"Come on, Twilight. Don't be so hard on yourself. We can still find a way to-"
"Wade, I appreciate you trying to cheer me up, but I need to be left alone right now."
Deadpool stopped following her, respecting her wish. He climbed down the stairs, and found Spike starting to tear up. He put a hoof on his shoulder, and, even though he was wearing a mask, a reassuring look can be seen on his face.
Two hours later...
After giving her some time for herself, Deadpool decided to attempt to cheer up Twilight again. He walked up the stairs, and entered into her room. He found her lying on her bed and staring at her bedroom window. He slowly walked over to her, and tapped her shoulder. She gave him a quick glance before looking back at the window. Deadpool took a seat to her right.
"I know you wanted to be left alone, but it's been a couple hours, and we need to move the plot along. So, do you want to talk?" Asked Deadpool.
"Oh, Wade, what have I done?" Asked Twilight.
"Twilight, everyone makes mistakes sometimes, including me. Although I guess it's more appropriate to call my mistakes fuck ups, since they usually involve somepony getting killed or explosions… or both. But I digress. You'll figure out a way to fix this. They are your friends after all," Said Deadpool.
Twilight starred off in the distance, thinking of Deadpool's words. She then gave a look of determination before climbing out of bed.
"You're right, Wade. And they mean more to me than anything," Said Twilight.
"Even more than your very handsome and amazing coltfriend?" Asked Wade.
"I hold you and our friends to the same level of value, silly. After all, you are my friend as well as my coltfriend," Said Twilight with an eye roll.
Twilight leaned towards Wade, and kissed him on the cheek, causing his eyes to form into the shape of hearts. She walked over to a fireplace, and looked at a single picture above it. It was a picture of her, Wade, Spike, and their friends. They were all in a field, looking at the camera with the most happiest of smiles. Looking at the picture made Twilight herself smile. Suddenly, she began to glow and sparkle.
"Uh, Twi, you're glowing," Said Deadpool.
Twilight levitated into the air, and the symbol of her cutie mark flashed in her eyes. She then floated back down, and the glowing aura around her disappeared.
"I've got it! I know what to do!"
Twilight grabbed a chest from her room, then went downstairs. She removed the glass from the display case containing the Elements of Harmony, then put all of them but her Element in the chest, and gave it to Spike. She put her Element crown on her head.
"I may not be able to remind them of who they are, but I can show them what they mean to each other. They'll find the part of themselves that's been lost, so they can help the friend they care about so much! Come on, Spike and Wade!"
With Spike and Wade in tow, Twilight ran to save her friends. Meanwhile, Fluttershy was carrying a satchel over to a mare with a hot air balloon. She gave the mare a few bits before Twilight, Deadpool, and Spike arrived.
"Fluttershy, wait!" Shouted Twilight.
"Oh. Hey, Twilight," Greeted Fluttershy glumly.
"Where are you going?"
"I'm moving back to Cloudsdale. I don't know what's wrong, but I can't seem to make anypony laugh."
Fluttershy grabbed a whoopie cushion from her satchel, and pressed down on it. It barely made any noise.
(Now that's just pathetic.)
"So you think it's best to pack up and ride the air currents like a hobo pegasus?" Asked Deadpool rhetorically.
"I'm sorry, Deadpool, but it's what I need to do. I just can't stay here any longer," Said Fluttershy sadily.
"Before you go, I was wondering if you might be willing to help Rainbow Dash? She's really struggling with her animals," Said Twilight.
"But… I don't really know anything about animals," Said Fluttershy while nervously twirling her hooves.
"Bull shit! Caring for animals is your thing, Fluttershy! Snap out of it!"
Deadpool shook Fluttershy rather violently, trying in his own way to "help" her. Thankfully, Twilight forced him to let go by surrounding him in a magical field. She moved him a few feet away before letting him go.
"Wade! What are you doing?!" Asked Twilight.
"I was trying to help Fluttershy," Answered Deadpool.
"By scaring the poor thing half to death?!"
"It's called the direct approach."
Twilight walked back over to Fluttershy, ignoring Deadpool's logic.
"You may not know much about animals, but you do know something about Rainbow Dash," Said Twilight.
"I… know that she's a true friend, and I'll do anything I can to help her," Said Fluttershy with determination.
The four friends traveled to the outskirts of Ponyville to "Rainbow Dash's cottage". Once they arrived, Twilight was about to knock on the door when a loud thump could be heard from the other side of the door.
"Rainbow Dash!" Cried Twilight.
"I'm in here!"
Everyone ran inside, finding a truly surprising sight. All of the animals in the cottage were carrying utensils. Little mice, squirrels, and rabbits were marching around a large cooking pot in the center of the room. Inside the pot was Rainbow Dash, tied up with rope, so she couldn't fly away or use her limbs.
"Help! I'm trapped!" Cried Rainbow Dash.
"Wade, maybe you should get her out before we get Fluttershy to…"
Twilight looked to her right, and saw Deadpool wasn't there. The various noises of the animals grew louder, and she saw what was probably Wade's most unusual antic yet. He was standing on a step stool, shirtless and wearing stripes of black paint on his mask. He was also carrying a ladle.
"Sacrifice! Sacrifice! Sacrifice!" Chanted Deadpool while moving the ladle up and down with both hooves over his head.
"WADE!" Twilight lost her patience with Wade. She was visibly seething with rage. "Go and wait for us outside!"
"... But… the sacrifice…" Said Wade timidly.
"Outside. NOW!" Ordered Twilight.
Deadpool grabbed his shirt, which was lying on the floor, and spoke to the animals before leaving.
"Sorry, guys. Have to do as she says. If I ever plan on killing somepony again, I will bring them here, so we can have another sacrifice."
Wade shut the door behind him, leaving Twilight, Fluttershy, and Spike to themselves. Having just dealt with her coltfriend's antics, Twilight took a deep breath to calm herself down.
"Hurry, Twilight! Can't you do some sort of spell to get her out?" Asked Fluttershy frantically.
"No. Fluttershy. With Wade in time out, you're the only one who can help. Rainbow Dash needs you," Said Twilight.
With a nervous nod, Fluttershy went over to the animals, and tried to speak to them.
"Um, hello? Little woodland creatures. I know that you're all very upset, and feel like giving Rainbow Dash a hard time, but we'd all really appreciate it if you would calm down and, um, maybe rest for a bit?"
The animals calmed down momentarily from hearing Fluttershy speak to them, and they lined up in front of her. Seeing her plan working got Twilight excited.
"Oh!" Fluttershy came up with an idea, and flew to the kitchen. When she returned, she had bowls of leafy greens, cucumber, and carrots; salad. She also brought some acorns. "Look! Here's some nice, juicy leaves for you to munch on. And some crunchy munchy acorns too. Uh, wouldn't you like to take a break and have a little snack?"
All of the animals dropped their untiensels, and gathered around the food. They were happily eating, and finally calmed down.
"Aww, look at that. I guess you were all just cranky because you were hungry," Said Fluttershy.
A group of bunnies were happily munching on the salad, one of them being Angel. After he got his fill, he hopped into Fluttershy's arms, and gave her a hug.
"Oh, you are very welcome, little friends."
Harry the bear grabbed Fluttershy, and gave her a kiss on the forehead and held her in a "bear hug".
"Your pun sucked, author!" Shouted Deadpool from outside.
Fluttershy started to glow pink. Twilight grabbed Fluttershy's Element from the chest, and ran towards her.
"Goodness, it's like I can understand them! I-I feel strange, like… Like this is what I'm meant to do. Like this is who I am! My DESTINY!"
Twilight attached the Element necklace around Fluttershy's neck. As soon as it was attached, all of her memories returned to her. The glow disappeared, and Fluttershy flew down to the floor, feeling hazy.
"Wha-What happened?" Asked Fluttershy.
"Fluttershy, look! Your cutie mark!" Said Twilight excitedly.
Looking at her flank, Fluttershy saw her cutie mark had indeed returned.
"It worked! It worked! Oh, I'm so happy you're back to normal!" Twilight nuzzled Fluttershy affectionately, to which she reciprocated. "Now we need your help!"
"Um, hello? Friend trapped inside, remember?" Questioned Rainbow.
After helping Rainbow Dash get free from the pot, Twilight, Deadpool, Fluttershy, Spike, and Rainbow Dash made their way into town. Upon arriving, they found the town in either a downpour or a snowstorm. Rarity was there, trying to control the weather, but failing to do so.
"Whoa! What's happening with the weather?" Asked Rainbow.
"Climate change," Remarked Deadpool.
"Rarity needs your help controlling the weather," Said Twilight.
"Can't you use a spell to move the clouds?" Asked Rainbow.
"No, I can't. You have to fly up there and move the clouds yourself. Please, Rainbow Dash; for Rarity,"
Rainbow Dash looked at Rarity. She was struggling to move a rain cloud, soaking her mane. Deciding she needed to help her, Dash flew up towards the cloud above Rarity. Hesitantly moving her back hoof towards the cloud, she gave it a light kick, destroying it and stopping the rain pouring down on Rarity. After looking astonished at destroying the cloud, she gave a confident smile towards Twilight and Fluttershy.
She flew across the sky, flying so fast she left a rainbow streak in her path. She rounded up every cloud covering Ponyville, then flew around them in a tight circle. She created a tornado around the clouds, and pushed it away from Ponyville. Flying back towards the ground, she wiped some sweat from her forehead. Twilight placed Dash's Element around her neck, causing her to glow in a red aura. Her memories and cutie mark returned, and the aura disappeared.
"Uh, what just happened?" Asked Rainbow in confusion.
"There's no time to explain, but we need your help. Applejack's trying to make dresses!" Said Twilight.
"Say no more!"
Galloping as fast as a bolt of lightning, the group of friends made their way to Carousel Boutique. Upon arriving there, they noticed that the windows were bordered up with wooden boards. Opening the front door, they found Applejack struggling to use a sewing machine.
"Come on, Rarity, Applejack needs your help," Said Rainbow.
"How could I be of any help? I don't have any experience with making dresses. Maybe Deadpool can help? He has a stylish costume," Said Rarity.
"Can we keep her like this? Her taste in fashion is so much better!" Said Deadpool.
"No, Applejack needs you, Rarity. Just give it a try," Encouraged Rainbow.
Rarity looked around at all of the fabrics around the shop, then an idea came into her head. With a look of determination, she grabbed some fabric, and moved Applejack from the sewing machine. In a matter of minutes, Rarity had sketched a design, and sewed a new dress. It was a purple dress with her cutie mark on the front. A purple aura enveloped her, and Twilight gave her her Element. Her memories and cutie mark returned, and she collapsed on a table. She awoke with a gasp.
"Oh my, what a terrible dream I had."
Rarity looked at Applejack. She was standing next to a ponyquin, which had one of her outfits of a brown trench coat and a matching top hat on top.
"Or maybe I'm still having it.
"It looks like something the Mad Hatter would wear," Said Deadpool.
"Rarity, Pinkie Pie is about to lose the apple farm. We need Applejack's help," Said Twilight.
"Lose the apple farm? Well, we can't let that happen, now can we?"
After a few minutes, the group arrived at Sweet Apple Acres. They were shocked at the state of some of the apple trees. The trees in the immediate area were bare of any leaves. They died in a single day.
"Jesus Christ. Clearly Pinkie Pie doesn't have a green thumb. Or hoof in her case," Said Deadpool.
"There she is."
Rainbow Dash pointed at the big red barn. Pinkie Pie was trying to fix a water chute above the entrance, but was having trouble lifting it. Not needing much encouragement to help, Applejack grabbed the water chute, and lifted it back up to its original position. Pinkie Pie smiled, grateful for Applejack's help.
Over the course of a couple hours, Applejack harvested the apples from any of the trees that survived and planted seeds to replace the trees that died. She began to glow an orange color, and Twilight gave her her Element. Her memories and cutie mark returned in a matter of seconds.
"Yee-haw! Now that's more like it! What's next?" Asked Applejack.
"The townspeople are furious. We need the old Pinkie back," Said Twilight.
"I'm on it. I know just the thing."
After a little walk, the group arrived back in Ponyville. As soon as they walked into town, they noticed a crowd of ponies arguing with each other.
"Everypony sure looks upset," Said Pinkie.
"Ditto. They need you, Pinkie. Only you can help cheer them up," Said Twilight.
"Oh, okay. But where do I start?"
"Well, you're going to need this."
Deadpool pulled out the glasses with the fake nose and bushy eyebrows and moustache, and handed it to Pinkie. Twilight also gave her her Element. With a determined smile, Pinkie ran through the crowd, glowing in a sky blue aura. She stopped in front of a water fountain in the middle of the crowd. She then stood on her hind legs, and spread her arms upwards.
"... Ha… Ha ha ha!"
The pose along with the glasses caused a few chuckles in the crowd. Soon the entire crowd was bursting out in laughter, their anger having been forgotten. Her flank was cast in a blinding light before disappearing and revealing her real cutie mark. Her memories were also restored, and her mane and tail puffed up into their original curly style. Throwing off her glasses, she gave one of her signature smiles.
"Come on ponies, I wanna see you smile!" Said Pinkie happily.
The crowd cried "PINKIE" before cheering. Her friends ran up to the fountain, and all of them (Deadpool included) embraced each other in a group hug. The bearers of the Elements of Harmony were restored. While embraced by her friends, Twilight remembered a line from Star Swirl the Bearded's spell.
"A mark of one's destiny, singled out alone, fulfilled."
"(Gasp) Wait a second, that's it! I understand now! I know how to fix the spell!"
Breaking from the group hug, Twilight ran home. With her friends behind her, she burst through the door. She grabbed the book containing the spell and a quill. She began to add to the spell.
"From all of us together, together we're friends. With the marks of our destinies made one, there is magic without end!"
Finishing the spell, Twilight closed the spell book with a satisfied look on her face. Her Element mysteriously began to glow, and a small burst of magic emitted from it. Suddenly, Rainbow Dash's Element cast a beam of red magic at Twilight. Then the rest of the Elements cast beams of magic towards her as well, surrounding her in a sphere of light. Everyone in the room was startled, not knowing what was happening. In a matter of seconds, the entire room was consumed in light. When it disappeared, everyone tried to recover from the bright light.
"What happened?" Asked Fluttershy.
Everyone gasped out of shock when they looked towards the center of the room. Twilight was gone. Where she once stood, all that remained was a large, smoking scorch mark. Deadpool ran over to the scorch mark, and fell onto his knees.
"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Deadpool smacked a hoof over the scorch mark in grief. "Why?! Why her?! She was too good to die! So beautiful! Why does this shit always happen to me?! We haven't even gotten to go on a second date!"
"What?!"
Hearing what he said, everyone except for Rarity (who already knew) was surprised to hear that Deadpool and Twilight had gone out on a date.
"Oh, yeah. We haven't told you guys yet," Said Deadpool with a nervous chuckle.
A few minutes later, Twilight opened her eyes. Once she took in her surroundings, she realized she was somewhere far, "far" from the library. She was floating in an ethereal space. All around her were stars and nebulae.
"Hello?" Despite being in space, her voice echoed all around her. "Where am I? What is this place?"
"Congratulations, Twilight. I knew you could do it."
Twilight heard the sound of a familiar voice from all around her. Ahead of her, a figure was walking towards her. Once they got close enough, she saw it was her mentor - Princess Celestia. Twilight found herself able to move, and walked over to greet and embrace her mentor.
"Princess. I don't understand. What did I do?" Asked Twilight.
"You did something today that's never been done before..." Celestia summoned Star Swirl the Bearded's spell book, and opened it to the last page containing the spell Twilight finished. "Something even a great unicorn like Star Swirl the Bearded was not able to do, because he did not understand friendship like you do. The lessons you have learned here in Ponyville have taught you well. You have proven that you're ready, Twilight."
"Ready? Ready for what?"
Celestia gestured for Twilight to follow her. They walked on a path made of stars. On their sides, images floated by. They were depicting key moments in Twilight's life. Her friends, defeating mighty foes, her studies of magic and friendship, it was all there.
"I am proud of you, Twilight. Ever since the day I met you as a little filly, I knew you would become something extraordinary. You and your friends have saved Equestria four times over now, you have excelled in your studies, and you guided a troubled hero on a straight path to true heroism. (Chuckle) And I see you have stepped into a new stage in your relationship with him."
Twilight looked in the direction Celestia was looking, and she gasped out of shock. An image appeared of her and Deadpool. It was the moment she and Deadpool first kissed, after she was saved from Carnage. Her face grew hot with embarrassment, while Celestia was chuckling.
"It is time for the next stage of your life, Twilight. It is time to fulfill your destiny."
Celestia spread her angelic wings, and flew slowly into the air. A blinding white light glowed around her form. That was when a magenta blob emerged from Twilight's chest, and began to swirl around her. A pulsing white light grew from her very core, and her mane and tail blew around like she was caught in a strong gale. Her form disappeared in the light, before the light burst.
Meanwhile, in front of the Golden Oak Library, Deadpool walked up to a podium in front of a wooden coffin. On the left side of the coffin was an easel holding up a portrait of Twilight. The rest of the Mane Six and Spike sat in chairs a few feet away from the coffin. Everyone seemed annoyed except for Pinkie Pie. Her eyes were watering, and she wore a black veil over her face. Deadpool pulled out some papers from somewhere, looked over them quickly, then looked at his friends.
"Ah-Ahem. Websters defines magic as 'an extraordinary power or influence seemingly from a supernatural source.' Twilight epitomized magic. Who could brighten up the moods of everyone with her smile? Twilight. Who could you turn to for advice? Twilight. No one told you life was going to be this way. You didn't know that your life would end at the hooves of your mare friends by the use of friendship lazers," Said Deadpool.
"We're monsters!" Cried Pinkie tearfully.
"Now wait just a minute! We did not-"
"Shut up, Rainbow! I'm trying to deliver a touching eulogy! I don't need you to interrupt me with your lies, marefriend murderer!" Deadpool took a deep breath, and calmed down. "I'm sorry. Death is hard for me."
(This coming from the stallion who used to slaughter bad ponies before breakfast.)
"At least Twilight died with the ponies she held close; her dragon assistant, the stallion who is the living definition of sex appeal, and her bestest friends in the whole world… Who ended up killing her."
That accusation earned him a growl from Rainbow Dash.
"Twilight was many things: Organized, studious, knowledgeable. About the world we live in as she was about magic and friendship. She had courage, power, and an unmatched beauty. She may be gone, but her voice will live on in Netflix, Amazon Prime Video, and the talented voice actress Tara Strong."
Tears began to form in Deadpool's eyes, and they trailed down his cheeks.
"... I may have lost both a marefriend and best friend, but Heaven has gained a princess."
(Wow. [Sniffle] That almost sounded like foreshadowing.)
(Th-That was beautiful. [Crying])
With his eulogy finished, Deadpool used a sleeve to wipe his tears away. His friends were touched by the end of his eulogy. Pinkie Pie was bawling, while Rarity and Fluttershy were tearing up. Suddenly, a blinding light in the form of Twilight's cutie mark appeared in the sky. Everyone was blinded by the light. The cutie mark floated gently towards the ground. It disappeared, leaving a large orb of white light. The light dimmed, revealing a silhouette of a pony.
"Twilight? Is that you?" Asked Applejack.
The light faded away, revealing Twilight lying on the ground. She got up slowly, then revealed something new to her form. A pair of wings spread from her back, sparkling in the night sky. The sight of her new wings caused her friends to gasp in awestruck.
"Twilight. You returned as… an angel," Said Deadpool breathlessly.
Deadpool reached a hoof out towards Twilight, and when he made contact with her arm, he looked surprised.
"You're not dead?!" Questioned Deadpool.
"What are you talking about, Wade?" Asked Twilight.
"But the friendship lazers, and the scorch mark. I thought your friends killed you. I held a service for you and everything."
Ignoring her coltfiend's antics, Twilight looked at her newfound wings.
"Wha… I-I've never seen anything like it!" Said Applejack.
"Ha! Twilight's got wings! Awesome! A new flying buddy!" Said Rainbow happily.
"Why, you've become an alicorn. I didn't even know that was possible," Said Rarity.
"Alicorn party!" Cried Pinkie.
"Wow… You look just like a princess!" Said Fluttershy.
"That's because she is a princess."
Princess Celestia flew down towards the ground, landing gracefully in front of the group of friends.
"Huh?" Cried everyone.
"Hold on a second…"
Pinkie looked at Deadpool, and they both nodded their heads at each other. They grabbed a glass of water each from nowhere, and drinked them both in one gulp. They then spit take, spitting out two streams of water.
"A… A princess?" Questioned Twilight.
Celestia put a comforting hoof on Twilight's shoulder.
"Since you've come to Ponyville, you've displayed the charity, compassion, devotion, integrity, optimism, and of course, the leadership of a true princess," Said Celestia.
"But… Does this mean I won't be your student anymore?" Asked Twilight.
"Not in the same way as before. I'll still be here to help and guide you, but we're all YOUR students now, too. You are an inspiration to us all, Twilight."
Celestia bowed down to her student. Soon, the rest of the Mane Six and Spike bowed as well. Deadpool, though, was motionless from where he stood. He walked over to her, then took out one of his katanas. This surprised everyone.
"Twilight, before I met you, I protected every innocent pony in Equestria. That has remained unchanged, but when I met you and our friends, I had a new goal. I secretly vowed to protect you and our friends from any and all danger. And now that you have become Equestria's newest princess, I have gained an even bigger purpose."
Deadpool held the katana by the hilt, and placed the tip of the blade on the ground. He then knelt down behind the blade.
"My swords, my soul, are yours to command, now. I vow that for as long as my healing factor keeps me alive, for as long as this fanfiction runs, I will protect the thing that has brought me the most joy in my life - you. I am now your red and black knight."
Twilight smiled affectionately towards Wade before a sudden realization hit her - she had no idea how to be a princess.
"But… What do I do now? Is there a book about being a princess I should read?"
Celestia couldn't help but giggle at her student's question.
"There will be time for all of that later," Said Celestia.
"Since that will be later, let's talk about something now. Why the hay did you not tell us you went out on a date with Wade?!" Asked Rainbow angrily.
"Yeah. Why didn't you tell us?" Pinkie Pie got a little too close to Twilight's face. "I could've been planning a 'Happy New Couple Party'.
"Wade."
Twilight gave a stern look towards Deadpool, who was scratching the back of his head nervously.
"Uh, I may have accidentally let it slip when I thought you were dead," Said Deadpool sheepishly.
Twilight's only response was to give an eyeroll. That was quickly replaced with a warm smile, grabbing Wade's hoof with her own. Wade chuckled warmly at the sign of affection.
One week later…
In a dressing room at Canterlot Castle, Twilight was combing her mane. She was getting ready for something important. She was wearing a pink dress with yellow sashes tied with pale pink ribbons.
KNOCK! KNOCK!
Hearing knocking at the door, Twilight used her magic to open the door. Deadpool was revealed to be on the other side. He was wearing his tux with a red dress shirt, and wasn't wearing his mask.
"Hey, Twilight. Your coronation will begin in five minutes," Said Deadpool.
"Alright. Thank you, Wade." Twilight got up from her seat, and walked over to Deadpool. "Thank you for not wearing your mask."
"You're welcome. Everypony's gonna keep their eyes on the newest princess of Equestria. They're not gonna pay much attention to this mess of a face." Deadpool looked over Twilight, paying particular attention to the dress she was wearing. "You look beautiful."
"Thank you. You look great as well," Said Twilight with a slight blush.
"Thank you. I'm proud of you, Twilight. You're a princess now, and that's a big deal. I can't wait to see where you will lead Equestria."
"Thank you, Wade."
Twilight wrapped her arms around Wade, and gave him a hug. He returned the hug before letting go.
"It's almost time. I will see you out there," Said Deadpool.
"See you then," Said Twilight.
A few minutes later, a large crowd of ponies had gathered in one of Canterlot Castle's many large rooms. Princesses Celestia, Luna, and Cadance stood at the top of some steps at the back of the room, while Deadpool, Spike, and the Mane Six minus Twilight, stood to the right of them. Once everyone was ready, Princess Celestia spoke to the crowd.
"We are gathered here today in celebration of a momentous occasion. My most faithful student, Twilight Sparkle, has done many extraordinary things since she's lived in Ponyville. She even helped reunite me with my sister, Princess Luna. But today, Twilight Sparkle did something extraordinary. She created new magic, proving without a doubt that she is ready to be crowned Equestria's newest princess. Fillies and gentlecolts, may I present for the very first time, Princess Twilight Sparkle!"
Everyone turned towards two very large doors at the front of the room. When they opened, Twilight was on the other side. As she walked down a lavish red carpet in the center of the room, she was followed by four royal guards and an equal amount of heralds, the latter carrying banners with her cutie mark on them. Once she reached the top of the steps, Spike walked up to her and Celestia. He presented Celestia with Twilight's Element crown, held on a red cushion. She used her magic to lift the crown, and placed it atop Twilight's head. Twilight looked at her friends and Deadpool, who gave her smiles and winks.
Once she was given her crown, Celestia and Luna led her to a balcony, where a crowd of hundreds of ponies were gathered down below in the Castle's Grounds, cheering for the newest princess of Equestria. She elegantly waved to the crowd below, resulting in even louder cheers. Celestia leaned in towards her, and whispered to her.
"Say something, Princess," Encouraged Celestia.
"Oh. Um…" Twilight, with a tinge of nervousness, cleared her throat before giving her first royal speech. "A little while ago, my teacher and mentor, Princess Celestia, sent me to live in Ponyville. She sent me to study friendship, which was something I didn't really care much about."
Twilight looked over at the entrance to the balcony. Her friends and Deadpool were there, smiling towards her. She smiled back, and gestured for them to come over.
"But now, on a day like today, I can honestly say I wouldn't be standing here if it weren't for the friendships I've made with all of you. Each one of you taught me something about friendship, and for that, I will always be grateful."
All of her friends were tearing up out of joy. Even Rainbow Dash and Deadpool had tears in their eyes.
"Today, I consider myself the luckiest pony in Equestria. Thank you, friends. Thank you, everypony!"
With the end of her speech, the crowd roared with applause. Everyone walked back inside, where Shining Armor and Princess Cadance were waiting.
"Twilight! I'm so proud of you!"
Shining Armor embraced his younger sister, to which she reciprocated. She looked at her brother, and saw a single tear trailing down his face.
"Are you crying?" Asked Twilight with a wry smile.
"Of course not." Shining quickly wiped the tear from his face. "It's… It's liquid pride. Totally different thing."
"Yeah, and my boner is physical astonishment of seeing Twilight in that dress," Thought Deadpool sarcastically.
Twilight and Shining laughed, and hugged each other again. While they were hugging, Cadance felt something in the back of her mind. Knowing what it meant, she looked at Deadpool then Twilight. She looked at them again a couple more times until she grew the biggest grin on her face and squealed in delight while clapping her front hooves for a brief moment. This caught the group's attention.
"What's got you so excited, Cadance?" Asked Shining.
"Oh, you'll learn soon. It's gonna blow your mind!" Replied Cadance happily.
"Way to go, Princess," Said Applejack.
"Best coronation day EVER!" Cried Pinkie in a sing-song voice.
"We love you, Twilight," Said Fluttershy.
"I love you too, guys!"
Twilight embraced her friends in one big group hug, with the cheering of the crowd from outside behind them. A little while later, Twilight and Deadpool were walking down a hall in the castle.
"So how's Equestria's newest princess feeling after her big coronation?" Asked Deadpool.
"I feel like I'm in a dream! Somepony pinch me!" Said Twilight happily.
"If that's what you want…"
"Ah!"
Twilight felt a sharp pain on her butt. She turned towards Deadpool, who had a big smile on his face.
"Wade! You touched my butt!" Said Twilight angirly.
"Hey, you said you wanted somepony to pinch you, and you didn't say where specifically. If anything I helped us both out. You now know that your coronation wasn't a dream, and I got to be the first and, hopefully, only pony to touch the newest Princess' ass. It's a win-win scenario," Said Deadpool.
Twilight punched his shoulder, only for him to chuckle. They stopped in front of a door. Twilight was about to open it when Deadpool's ear twitched, and he stopped her.
"What are you-"
"Hold on." Deadpool looked through the keyhole, and saw six people inside the dark room. "Why those little… I guess those guys didn't forget about 'us'."
"What? … Oh! What are you thinking?" Asked Twilight with a mischievous grin.
"Play along."
Deadpool instructed Twilight to take a few steps back, then they walked back to the door while intentionally stomping their hooves.
"I still can't believe you're a princess now, Twilight. I'm so proud of you," Said Deadpool a bit loudly.
"Thank you, Wade. I can't wait to serve the citizens of Equestria as their newest princess," Said Twilight a bit loudly as well.
"Well, now that the coronation's over, how about we relax in our room?" Suggested Deadpool.
They could hear hushed giggling from inside the room. The devilish smiles on their faces only grew bigger.
"That sounds great, Wade, but are you sure there isn't something else you want to do?" Asked Twilight.
"Hmm… I have one idea. Since my marefriend was just crowned as Princess, how about I give her something?" Suggested Deadpool.
"Oh? What did you have in mind?"
"How about I bring you over to that queen-sized bed, and give you the best sex only fitting for a princess?"
As soon as Deadpool said that, the giggling from inside the room was replaced with hushed panicking noises.
"As your Princess, I will grant you, Wade Wilson the high honor of making love with me. In fact, let's start with a makeout session from the door to the bed," Said Twilight.
Deadpool grabbed the door knob, and jiggled it loudly.
"Now!"
As soon as he said that, Twilight lit up her horn, and she and Deadpool were gone in a flash of light. As soon as they were gone, the door slammed open, revealing their friends.
"NO! WAIT!"
As soon as they opened the door, they found no one on the other side. The mares were just as confused as Spike, the latter not knowing why the mares were in a panic. Unbeknownst to any of them, Deadpool and Twilight appeared in the very back of the room. Deadpool motioned for her to follow him, and they quietly walked up behind Rarity, who was standing nearest to them.
"Hey, what's going on here?" Asked Deadpool quietly.
"We were waiting for Twilight and Deadpool to come back, so we can surprise them with a party to congratulate them on becoming a couple."
Rarity was completely oblivious about who had just spoken to her from behind. Having fun with this, Deadpool pulled a bottle of wine along with a glass from somewhere, and poured himself a drink.
"That's great. Did we miss anything?" Asked Twilight quietly.
"Well, we had to make our presence known because we heard them talking about partaking in… naughty things. But when we opened the door, they weren't there."
In that moment, the realization hit Rarity like a speeding semi-trailer truck. As soon as the lights were turned on, she looked behind herself, and saw Deadpool and Twilight smiling at her.
"Surprise, mother-fuckers!" Shouted Deadpool.
"Hi, guys!" Said Twilight.
Jaws dropped amongst the group when they saw them. They were absolutely dumbfounded as to how they managed to sneak in.
"But… but… How did you know?!" Asked Rainbow in disbelief.
"If you guys were better at staying quiet, you most likely would have surprised us," Replied Deadpool.
"You guys fell for it!" Said Twilight.
"You mean ya weren't gonna… get 'intimate' with each other?" Questioned Applejack.
"No. Although, if you guys wanted it and we kicked Spike out of the room, I suppose Twilight and I could put on a little show," Said Deadpool while swaying his hips.
All of his friends immediately shook their heads while repeatedly saying no.
"You jerks! You ruined the surprise for you and had us think you were gonna do it in front of us!" Said Rainbow angrily.
"Yeah! You can't throw a surprise party if it isn't a surprise!" Added Pinkie angrily.
"I know, and we're both sorry. Right, Wade?" Asked Twilight.
"Yeah I'm sorry. But it was still fuckin' funny!" Said Deadpool.
"With the week spent preparing for your coronation, we didn't get a chance to properly congratulate you two on becoming a couple. So we decided to throw a little surprise party after the coronation," Said Fluttershy.
"Thank you, girls. That was thoughtful of you all," Said Twilight.
"And I thought of something to start this celebration off right. Jot down some notes, Spike. You could use this if you get lucky with Rarity."
While Spike was blushing profusely, Deadpool leaned Twilight back, and they kissed. The room was filled with cheers and applause, and heart-shaped confetti rained from the ceiling.
"I love you," Said Twilight affectionately.
"I love you too," Replied Deadpool.
The two returned to their kiss, and they and their friends celebrated for the rest of the evening.
Fin.
Hope you all enjoyed the latest chapter of "Deadpool: Mercenary of Harmony"! This insertion chapter from the episode "Magical Mystery Cure" will serve as the final chapter of the season three arc. The next set of chapters will take place in season four of the show. Until next time, this has been ThePhantomArchives, and I hope you all have a great day!