It was a quiet afternoon at Sugarcube Corner, and Pinkie Pie was in a secret basement where she planned all of her parties; her "Pinkie Cave". She was busily organizing the contents of several filing cabinets.
"Lyra Heartstrings's file needs to be in the H section for her surname. How did it end up in the Y section?! Silly me! I also need to update my balloon supplier information. Oh, I should also put in my new cake recipe!"
Pinkie grabbed a single slice of cake that was resting on top of one of the cabinets and shoved it into a drawer. She seemingly stretched one of her arms several feet next to her, and grabbed her pet baby alligator, Gummy.
"Isn't reorganizing all of our party stuff fun, Gummy?!" Asked Pinkie Pie excitedly?
Gummy stared at her with a vacant look in his eyes.
"I know, right?! Let's see what else is in here."
Pinkie reached further back in the drawer she was currently organizing, and pulled out a red and black folder.
"Oh, this is Deadpool's file! I should look at it again to make sure everything's accurate!"
Pinkie opened up the file and grabbed a single sheet of paper, which she began to read.
"Likes cherrychangas. Very accurate. "Star Trek'' and the original "Star Wars" trilogy. Also accurate. What's this note? NEVER bring up the "Star Wars" prequel trilogy. Yeah, no!"
Pinkie continued looking over Deadpool's file until her eyes landed on the very bottom of the page. She squinted her eyes a little to get a better look, then they bulged out of their sockets while making a similar sound to a ooga horn. Gummy's jaw dropped shortly afterwards.
"What?! How's this possible?! Of all things I don't know about, it has to be this!"
Faster than a speeding bullet, Pinkie ran up a slide and ended up in her bedroom. She lightly tossed Gummy onto her bed before jumping out of a window. Landing on the ground with only a light bounce, she continued running.
"I need to tell Twilight about this, now! I can't let anything stop me!"
Pinkie didn't get very far before she heard music she instantly recognized.
"Ice cream cart!"
Pinkie followed the music to its source. An earth pony stallion was pulling a small freezer cart with a symbol of an ice cream on the side. Pinkie reached into her mane and pulled out two bits.
"One please," Said Pinkie.
The stallion took the bits, and gave her a strawberry ice cream on a waffle cone in exchange.
"Thank you!"
Pinkie gave her frozen treat a couple licks before wolfing down the entire thing. She then went back to running, kicking up a trail of dust as she went. Eventually, the Golden Oak Library came into her sights, and she burst through the front door.
"TWILIGHT!"
"Ah!"
Pinkie found her friend carrying a box of books in her magic. That was until she dropped it onto the floor out of surprise. In Twilight's point of view, she was minding her own business until her party planner friend burst into her home, leaving a Pinkie shaped hole in the door. She also had melted ice cream around her mouth, and her mane was standing on end. As far as she could tell, Twilight believed this is one of Pinkie's most crazy moments PERIOD.
"Twilight! It's awful! It's terrible! This is the! Worst! Possible! Thing!" Said Pinkie.
"Isn't that what Rarity normally says?" Asked Twilight.
"This is no time for which catchphrases are trademarked by who! I just learned about something terrible!" Answered Pinkie frantically.
"Okay, okay. Tell me what's wrong."
"Okay."
Pinkie took a deep breath, then let out everything at once.
"I was looking through all of my stuff in my super duper secret party planner room you won't learn about until season five when I found a file I wrote about your lovey-dovey, K.I.S.S.I.N.G. buddy, Deadpool! I looked inside and found everything about him and how much he hates the "Star Wars" prequel trilogy! But then I found out that I missed something, and of all things it was the most important thing to know about a pony besides their name and whether they like cake or ice cream or both! And now I'm telling you because I feel so bad about it!"
Trying to comprehend everything Pinkie said all at once nearly made Twilight cross-eyed.
"Pinkie, try telling me again, but this time please be more direct," Said Twilight.
"... I don't know when Deadpool's birthday is!" Said Pinkie.
"You don't know when his birthday is?" Asked Twilight.
"No I don't!" Pinkie broke down on the spot, tears running down her face. "I feel so awful because it's his super important day, and I don't know when it is! I'm sure everypony else knows, especially you, so I don't understand how I haven't learned about it!"
"Well…" Uttered Twilight.
"What do you mean by 'well'?" Asked Pinkie.
"Truth be told, I actually don't know when Wade's birthday is either," Answered Twilight.
As if on cue, Deadpool walked up the flight of stairs that led from the living room. He stopped in the doorway, and listened to the conversation.
"You don't know when his birthday is either? How do you of all ponies not know?" Asked Pinkie.
"I have tried to ask him when his birthday is on multiple occasions, but whenever I approach the subject he either changes the topic or comes up with some task he needs to take care of at that moment. It's almost like he doesn't want anypony to know when his birthday is," Explained Twilight.
"Oh. Well, it would be nice to know when his birthday is, so I can throw him a big party!" Said Pinkie.
"So, you want to know when my birthday is?"
Deadpool finally made his presence known, attracting Pinkie and Twilight's attention.
"Oh, Wade, I didn't see you there. Did you hear everything?" Asked Twilight.
"For the most part," Answered Deadpool.
"Then you have got to tell us when your birthday is!" Said Pinkie.
"Why?" Asked Deadpool.
"Because then you, me, Twilight, and all of our friends can celebrate your super special day!" Answered Pinkie.
"Eh…" Uttered Deadpool hesitantly.
"Oh, please tell us when your birthday is. Pleeeeeease?"
Pinkie looked at Deadpool with her best puppy dog eyes. Deadpool was visibly trying to resist them. After an agonizing few seconds, he caved in.
"Fine, I guess I can tell you when my birthday is," Said Deadpool reluctantly.
"YAY! So, when is it?!" Asked Pinkie excitedly.
"It's today."
In that split second, Twilight and Pinkie's jaws dropped to the floor. Learning that Deadpool's birthday was today of all days really caught them by surprise.
"Girls? Girls?" Said Deadpool.
(We're about to get fucked by both the party pony and the love-of-our-life in three, two, one…)
"WHAT?!" Cried Pinkie and Twilight in unison.
"Ahhh!"
THUD!
Pinkie leapt towards Deadpool and pinned him to the ground. She then grabbed him by the neck and began to throttle him.
"WHY WOULD YOU NEVER TELL US ABOUT YOUR BIRTHDAY UNTIL THE ACTUAL DAY?! WHAT KIND OF FRIEND DOES THAT?!" Asked Pinkie in blind fury.
Deadpool (as expected) gave no answer. The only things he could say while being throttled to death were incomprehensible noises.
"Okay, Pinkie, we're not going to get answers out of him if you asphyxiate him to death, even if he can revive from it."
Twilight grabbed Pinkie and dragged her away from Deadpool with her magic. This allowed Deadpool to recover his oxygen levels with deep breaths. This was quickly interrupted by Twilight, who smacked him in the back of the head with one of her wings.
"Ow! What the fuck you two?!" Asked Deadpool.
"Why didn't you tell anyone today was your birthday, especially me of all ponies? We've been going out for two months now, and we've known each other for longer. It would've been nice to know WAY in advance," Said Twilight.
"I don't celebrate my birthday," Answered Deadpool simply.
"What?! Why wouldn't you celebrate your birthday?! It's only the most super-terrific day in the entire year where it is all about you!" Said Pinkie.
(Please! With our popularity, everyday is our day!)
"Pinkie Pie, I have a healing factor," Said Deadpool.
"Yeah, so?" Questioned Pinkie.
"A healing factor that prevents me from DYING."
"... I don't get it."
"(Sigh) If I have a healing factor that prevents me from dying, then that means I can't…"
"... Ohhhh! You can't age!"
"Exactly."
"Is that really the only reason why you don't celebrate your birthday? I know that depending on how long your healing factor will keep you alive, you could have hundreds or thousands of birthdays ahead of you, but I would think each one would still be worth celebrating," Reasoned Twilight.
"Well, I am a grown stallion. It's not like I'm seven years old and I would go celebrate my birthday at Chuck E. Cheese. I usually just get up in the morning, drink a beer, and take a nap. Wake up and have a cherrychanga, drink another beer, and take another nap. Get up again, eat more cherrychangas, then get wasted and pass out on the nearest piece of furniture," Explained Deadpool.
"Well, your birthdays could be worth celebrating more if you celebrate with friends and a humongous party!" Said Pinkie.
"As much as I love being the center of attention and big parties, I'm not really a fan of large birthday parties. In the past, I usually went to small gatherings with friends on their birthdays," Said Deadpool.
"It doesn't have to be a big party. We can gather up the rest of our friends and throw a small celebration here at the library. Right, Pinkie?" Asked Twilight.
"... Small celebration. Right, of course. Hehehe…" Said Pinkie, looking like she will snap at any moment.
"See? So, what do you say? Can we throw a birthday party for you?" Asked Twilight.
A long silence filled the room as Deadpool thought over Twilight's request. Eventually, he gave an answer.
"... How could I say no to you?" Asked Deadpool rhetorically.
"Great!" As a sign of appreciation, Twilight gave Deadpool a kiss on his mask-covered cheek. "You can let me, Pinkie, and the others take care of putting your party together. I'm sure Pinkie already has it all planned out anyway."
"I sure do! I need to get all of our friends and run back to Sugarcube Corner to get all of my stuff!"
Only visible as a pink blur, Pinkie ran through the Pinkie shaped hole she created in the front door.
"Oh, yeah. I need to fix that," Deadpanned Twilight.
"Don't worry, it will be repaired after the scene transition," Said Deadpool.
"Scene transition?"
A few minutes later…
KNOCK! KNOCK!
Knocking could be heard from the other side of the door. This confused Twilight since the door had a large hole in it. She looked back at the door to see it was completely repaired.
"How did the door fix itself? It was just broken a moment ago!" Said Twilight.
"For the sake of your sanity, sweetheart, don't question it."
Deadpool was the first one to reach the door. He opened the door, revealing Pinkie and the rest of his friends on the other side.
"Hi, Wade!" Greeted all of the girls in unison.
"Hey gals," Greeted Deadpool.
He stepped aside to let all of them in. Everyone carried boxes of party supplies inside. As everyone began to unpack, Rarity walked up to Deadpool and gave him a friendly hug.
"Happy birthday, darling! If I knew ahead of time that today was your birthday, I would've created an entire ensemble for you to wear," Said Rarity.
"Yeah, sorry," Said Deadpool sheepishly.
"Why didn't you say anything about your birthday?" Asked Fluttershy as she pulled out a red tablecloth from one of the boxes.
"Because DP here can't age, so he thought that makes his birthday 'not worth celebrating'," Said Pinkie, making air quotes with her hooves.
"Hopefully this little shindig will show that your birthday's worth celebratin', even if ya can live forever," Said Applejack while setting up a foldable table.
Just then, Spike walked into the main library. He noticed everyone setting up for Deadpool's party.
"Twilight, are we throwing a party or something?" Asked Spike.
"Yes. Today's Wade's birthday," Said Twilight.
"Oh. Uh… Happy Birthday, Wade!" Said Spike nervously.
"It's okay, Spike, I didn't tell anypony today was my birthday until a few minutes ago," Said Deadpool.
"Phew! That's a relief."
"Psst! Twilight!"
Twilight heard Rainbow Dash calling to her from downstairs. She walked down the flight of stairs to meet up with her rainbow-maned friend.
"Is everything alright, Rainbow Dash?" Asked Twilight.
"Yeah, everything's fine. When Pinkie told me today was Deadpool's birthday, I stopped to get a present on the way here. I didn't know what to get him, so I got him something that I thought he might get a use out of. I was hoping I could get your opinion on it," Said Rainbow Dash.
"Of course. Let's see what you got," Said Twilight.
Rainbow Dash reached into a box wrapped in blue wrapping paper, and pulled out two items. A single shaving razor with replacement blades and a can of shaving gel.
"Uh, Rainbow Dash, you know that Wade doesn't have hair of any kind, right?" Asked Twilight.
"(Snort) Yeah," Replied Rainbow, holding back a chuckle.
Twilight could tell by the repressed laughter and the grin on her friend's face that something was up.
"And you know why he doesn't have hair, right?" Asked Twilight.
"Yes? Why do you ask that?" Asked Rainbow in reply.
"(Sigh) Okay, Rainbow Dash, can you see why your gift may come off as… offensive?" Asked Twilight.
"Pfft! Come on, Twilight, Wade's got a good sense of humor. He's not going to be offended by a gag gift from one of his friends who understands him. And if I am wrong, I'll let him shove my face into the cake," Said Rainbow confidentiality.
"Fine, but it will be on you if you leave tonight with frosting all over your face."
A few minutes later, everyone was halfway through setting up. A couple tables with red tablecloths were set up in the middle of the main library, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy were hanging red and black streamers, and Pinkie was busily painting a banner. Deadpool mostly got to sit back and oversee the preparations.
"I know you haven't celebrated your birthday in a long time, Wade, but you must have celebrated your birthday when you were younger, right?" Asked Twilight.
Deadpool flinched a little, but this went unnoticed by Twilight.
"Yeah, I did," Answered Deadpool.
"Tell us, what was the best thing you did on your birthday?" Asked Rainbow.
"Tell us, tell us! I could use this information for future birthdays!" Said Pinkie.
"The best thing I did for my birthday? That would be the time my parents took me to this awesome trampoline park when I was four! I don't remember much, but I know I had a lot of fun bouncing all over the place!" Said Deadpool excitedly.
"It's no trampoline park, but hopefully this will be just as fun," Said Twilight.
"Since you all are putting it together, I know it will be great."
"Aww!"
Twilight used her magic to lift Deadpool's mask up slightly, then gave him a kiss on the lips. Deadpool reciprocated the kiss. While this got a few "awws" out of the majority of their friends, Rainbow Dash was gagging at the sign of affection.
"Gross! Can't you two wait until later to do that?" Asked Rainbow rhetorically.
"You're right, Rainbow. We'll just wait until all of you have gone home and Spike goes to bed, then we'll get back at it again but with our tongues. And maybe if I am lucky, I can show Twilight my birthday suit," Said Deadpool suggestively.
While Twilight blushed profusely and her friends laughed, Rainbow Dash immediately covered her ears and repeatedly blurted...
"Lalala! Lalalala!"
A few minutes later…
Deadpool was standing outside the Golden Oak Library with Twilight by his side. She was excitedly fidgeting her hooves in anticipation.
"You know, I watched you all set up everything for the party. It's not like it's going to be a surprise when I get inside," Said Deadpool.
"I know, but you'll be blown away regardless! I'm so excited! Come on, let's get you inside and unveil your fully finished birthday party!"
Twilight grabbed Deadpool by the hoof and led him inside. As soon as they were inside, he took in all of the decorations that adorned the main library. Everything matched his suit's colors: red and black balloons floating around the room, red and black streamers hanging from the ceiling and even a couple on the walls, and tables with red tablecloths draped over them rested in the middle of the library. There was a wide selection of foods to choose from, but he immediately noticed a platter of cherrychangas and a tray with a lid covering what was most likely a cake. After looking at the decorations, he looked in front of him, where all of his friends were gathered.
"Happy Birthday, Wade!" Cried all of Deadpool's friends happily.
A smile appeared on Deadpool's face. It was visible even from underneath his mask. Twilight put a hoof on his shoulder.
"Well, what do you think?" Asked Twilight.
"It's…"
"Fantastic?!" Suggested Pinkie.
"It's…"
"Totally awesome?!" Suggested Rainbow.
"It's uh…"
Deadpool looked up, and saw a large banner he had somehow missed. It was a black banner with red paint on it. In the center of the banner was his logo, and the words "Happy Birthday, Wade!" were written around it.
Seeing the banner caused Wade's surroundings and friends to be drowned out. He could hear voices in his head, but not the two he's familiar with. There were many voices: masculine, feminine, young, old. He could hear so many of them, and he couldn't make out anything they were saying. His vision went dark, and memories he had long tried to suppress were playing in his head.
"Wade? Wade?" Said Twilight.
Just as quickly as the whole experience came it stopped. He saw Twilight and all of his friends looking at him.
"Wade, are you alright?" Asked Twilight.
"... Excuse me."
SLAM!
Deadpool rushed out of the library, slamming the door behind him. All of his friends looked at each other with concerned looks on their faces.
"What do you think has him all worked up?" Asked Rainbow.
"Do you think a party was too much?" Asked Fluttershy.
"I thought a birthday party was what he needed, but it seems like it only made him feel worse," Said Pinkie depressingly.
"Maybe the party was forced onto him, but he didn't seem to be upset. He kinda looked like he was… remembering something," Said Twilight.
"What could he have remembered that would make him more spooked than a deer seein' a mountain lion?" Asked Applejack.
"I think there's more to why he never celebrated his birthday, and I attend to find out after he takes some time to himself," Said Twilight determinedly.
One hour later…
By the time Twilight gave Deadpool time to himself and went out searching for him, the sun began to set to make way for the rising moon. Twilight was walking up a large hill on the outskirts of town. When she got up to the top she noticed two things. She first noticed Ponyville down below, cast in the golden light of the setting sun. The other thing she noticed was Deadpool sitting by himself on the edge of the hill. He held a bottle of beer in one hoof, and had several more empty bottles laid out beside him. Twilight knew instantly what he was doing, and felt saddened on his part. She walked over to him as he was taking a large sip of his drink.
"You know drinking doesn't solve your problems. It only exacerbates them," Said Twilight.
Deadpool didn't look towards her, even as she sat down to his left. He looked at the bottle in his hoof, then gestured for her to take it. She grabbed it in her magic, and set it down away from where he could reach it.
"I'm sorry I ran off. I hope I didn't kill the mood for you and everypony else," Said Deadpool sadly.
"Wade, we don't care about the party. What we care about is you. After you ran off, we all got worried. I waited until you had some time to yourself before I went after you," Said Twilight.
"Thanks for coming after me. How did you find me anyway?" Asked Deadpool.
"Considering what you wear, you don't exactly blend in. I went around town, asking a couple ponies if they've seen you, and very quickly I was directed over here," Explained Twilight.
"(Chuckles) Makes sense," Said Deadpool.
"Wade, I know you haven't told any of us the real reason why you don't celebrate your birthday. So, what's on your mind?" Asked Twilight.
"I couldn't bother you with my problems, Twilight."
"Wade, you couldn't bother me with your troubles. You've always been there for me when I had mine. You helped me when I was overwhelmed with being a princess, and when I was jealous of Domino. I want to return the favor, and listen to what's got you down. So, please talk to me."
"... Okay. I'll get everything I need off of my chest."
"Thank you," Said Twilight with a warm smile.
"Prepare yourself, I'm about to hit you with all of the feels," Said Deadpool.
(Now would be a good time to grab some tissues.)
Twilight turned herself around to face Deadpool, showing she was paying close attention.
"You see, the real reason why I never celebrated my birthday is because I never had anyone to celebrate it with until I met you and our friends," Said Wade.
"You didn't have any friends to celebrate with?" Asked Twilight.
"I didn't have many friends before you. I had some, but only a hoof full. Most of the hero community either finds me annoying or are appalled by how I used to deal with criminals," Explained Wade.
"Oh... What about when you were younger? Did you celebrate with any friends from school?" Asked Twilight.
"No. I may only have a few friends now, but I had ZERO friends back in school. I was bullied a lot in school. Usually because kids either found me annoying or weird, but the big reason was because I was a blank flank for the majority of my school years," Explained Wade.
"Really? When did you get your cutie mark?" Asked Twilight.
"Eighth grade," Answered Wade.
"Eighth grade?! Wow! Did they stop teasing you when you earned your cutie mark?" Asked Twilight.
"Yes, but not for good reasons. When I got this…" Wade tugged down on his pants just enough to reveal his cutie mark of a knife and pistol. "I had earned it after I defended myself from a bunch of bullies, whom I had told to back off from a different kid they were bullying. Nowadays I can say this was supposed to represent me becoming a hero. But, as you can probably imagine, a young colt with a gun and knife for a cutie mark did not set well with everyone."
"All of my classmates were afraid of me, and I was always under surveillance because the teachers thought I was going to end up killing somepony! ... I guess they ended up being right in the end, but it still hurt my feelings that they assumed I was going to be a killer! Combine that with the choices I made as an adult, I never had a lot of friends."
"Wade, I'm so sorry you went through all of that. I can't imagine how you felt. Is that part of the reason why you dropped out of school?" Asked Twilight.
"A little, but there's one other reason, which I will explain in a bit. But, hey, I can't really complain about not having friends now, right? I have seven great friends, which includes you."
Wade and Twilight nuzzled each other, both of them smiling from each other's touch.
"What about your parents? Did you have good relations with them growing up?"
Twilight's one question caused Wade's mood to do a complete one-eighty. He had a look of sadness on his masked face.
"I'm sorry, did I strike a nerve? You don't have to answer if you're not comfortable with telling me," Said Twilight.
"(Sigh) No, I'll tell you, Twilight."
A long silence filled the air before Wade spoke again.
"I was born to an earth pony stallion named Thomas Wilson, and to a unicorn mare named Hailey Wilson. For the first few years in my life, they were the best. They both treated me like I was the center of their universe, and during that time I was… happy. I felt like I mattered to somepony, and not seen as either a nuisance or a source of ridicule. But then… everything spiraled downwards," Said Wade.
"W-What happened?" Asked Twilight hesitantly.
"When I was around five years old, my dad just… left. To this day, I still don't know why. There was no note, no talk, he didn't even say goodbye. It was like he decided out of the blue to leave me and Mom behind. Thinking about that day always reminds me of this one thing we did together. He and I used to play this game where when he came home from work, he would knock on the door. I would say 'who's there' and he would tell me 'cash'. Then I would say 'cash who', and then he would open the door and say 'yes, I've always known you were a bit nutty!'"
"As with many kids, when he left I didn't understand the reality of the situation. I thought he had gone off to work and when he came back, we would play our knock-knock game. I spent a year eagerly waiting by the door for him to come home, so we could play our game and have fun all evening. But he never walked through the door… He never came back for me…"
"Wade…" Whispered Twilight sadly.
"After my dad left, my mom changed for the worst. She never hurt me, but in her attempt to ease the pain, she ended up turning to booze and buying junk that we never used. She always joked about everything, even the most serious stuff. Now thinking about it, she's probably where I get both my sense of humor and my addiction from. Eventually, her habits started biting back. By the time I was sixteen, mom built up a lot of debt. At the time, I blamed myself. I believed that if she didn't have to worry about me, she would fare much better and be able to take care of herself. So, one night I packed up all of my things and left. I had put school, home, and my old life behind me. At the time I thought it was a good idea, but now I realize I most likely hurt her even more by leaving."
"After I left home, I enlisted in the military, had a brief stint as a member of the E.U.P. Guard, went back into service and joined the special forces, got discharged at nineteen because I didn't follow orders that conflicted with my moral code, became a mercenary, met Vanessa, got cancer and superpowers, and you know the rest."
Wade took a moment to take off his mask. Doing so revealed more than his scarred face. His eyes were noticeably red and watery; he had been crying. Twilight herself was tearing up, although she was keeping herself together in order to be strong for him.
"Did you ever make amends with your mother after leaving?" Asked Twilight, holding back a sob.
"Well, as much as I would've loved to, I couldn't do that. While I was out on tour, I received this letter."
Wade reached into one of the pockets on his utility belt. He pulled out a crumpled piece of paper and handed it to Twilight. She quickly read through the contents of the letter, and what she read caused a pit to form in her stomach.
Dear Wade Wilson,
We regret to inform you that your mother, Hailey Wilson, has passed away. Her body was found in her home by a friend after she was not seen or heard from for several days. After conducting an autopsy, we have deduced that she had passed away in her sleep due to alcohol poisoning. She had a blood alcohol concentration (BAC) of 0.31% at the time of passing. Whenever you can, feel free to contact us for burial arrangements.
Our sincerest condolences, Memorial Services Mortuary
After reading the letter, Twilight looked up at Wade with even more tears in her eyes, and her jaw was open from the shock of his mother's tragic fate.
"For so long I never had anyone. I lost both of my parents, and nopony else wanted to be with me. Nopony wanted to stick around with Wade Wilson because he was annoying, a murderer, and a freak. After being alone for so long, I gave up on many important things. I gave up on the idea of being part of a family, of finding true happiness, even celebrating my own birthday. I'm thankful for everything you and the others did for me today, I really mean it. It's just when I saw for the first time a whole group of ponies going out of their way to show how much they care about me, it brought back all of this stuff that I repressed for years. It was so different from what I was used to, and it caused me to flee..."
Wade and Twilight stood in silence for what felt like an eternity. The latter was overwhelmed with comprehending everything she was just told by her coltfriend. She knew he didn't have the easiest life, but she never knew the extent of all of his problems. She couldn't possibly understand a fraction of what he had gone through. All she knew was that his humor, arrogance, and eccentric behavior were masking an emotionally damaged pony.
In no time, Twilight lost all ability to contain her emotions. Stinging hot tears cascaded down her face, and she bawled uncontrollably. She reached out and grabbed Wade, embracing him in a tight hug. She cried into his chest, waterlogging the fabric of his suit. The only thing that Wade did was return the hug.
"I-I can't believe everything you went through. I wish you never had to go through any of it. I (Hiccup) wish I can make all of your pain go away," Said Twilight tearfully.
"I wish it could all go away too, but no amount of therapy or magic will make that happen. It's something I've had to accept," Said Wade.
Twilight removed her face from his chest, and looked him in the eyes while holding his face in her hoof.
"I'm so sorry for everything that you had to go through, Wade. I know your time on your own can't be undone, but you don't have to be alone anymore. You have me, now. You also have Rarity, Spike, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy. You will never be alone ever again as long as you have us, and I will never be alone either with you and our friends by my side. You don't need to give up on family because we are here for you now. Our paths led us to each other, and we will continue moving forward together. And maybe we will finally bring some joy into your life again."
Both ponies looked into each other's eyes for a few seconds, but then, for probably the first time in the past few hours, Wade smiled.
"You already have," Said Wade.
Both smiling now, Wade and Twilight embraced each other in a tight hug.
([Sniffle] That's the most beautiful thing I have ever heard!)
([Sob] I know. I have never felt so touched in my life!)
(I haven't cried this much since 'Toy Story 3'!)
Both ponies embraced each other for about half a minute before they let each other go. Twilight decided to take the opportunity to ask Wade something important.
"I will respect you if you don't want to do it after everything that transpired today, but our friends and I would love to show you how much we care about you by celebrating your birthday. So, can we throw you a party?" Asked Twilight.
"... Oh, what the hell. Let's finally make some great memories out of this day!"
Grabbing each other's hooves, Wade and Twilight raced off towards the Golden Oak Library. Meanwhile, all of their friends were patiently waiting for them to arrive back.
"They have been gone for an awfully long time. Do you think they are alright?" Asked Rarity.
"I'm sure they are fine. They probably just needed some time to talk," Replied Fluttershy.
Not a moment too soon, the front door opened up, revealing both Deadpool and Twilight on the other side.
"Uh, hey guys. Sorry for running off earlier, I hope I didn't have you guys worry too much," Said Deadpool.
"Knowing you're alright now is a relief to us, darling. If I may ask, why did you run off earlier?" Asked Rarity.
"Long story short, I never celebrated my birthday with anyone for a long time. I got overwhelmed and I ran off. I'm feeling much better now, and I would love to try again if you are all still in the mood to party."
"Well, what are we waiting for?! Let's party!" Shouted Pinkie excitedly with confetti raining down from above.
Since the party started in the evening, the first thing everyone did was eat. Out of the selection of food to choose from, the obvious favorite for Deadpool were the cherrychangas. He practically gorged himself on cherrychangas while everyone else was more dignified while eating. After eating, everyone participated in party games. Currently, Pinkie was hanging a piñata from the ceiling. When she was done, she pulled out a wooden baseball bat out of her mane.
"Here you go, Wade. Have a crack at it!" Said Pinkie.
"With pleasure! When I'm done, this bitch is gonna have more than a crack!" Said Deadpool.
"Hold on a second. Since you are more than capable of busting that piñata in one hit, let's make this more interesting."
Rainbow Dash quickly tied a blindfold around Deadpool's eyes. With a smile visible under his mask, Deadpool grabbed the bat out of Pinkie's hooves.
(Uh, not to be a party pooper or anything, but I don't think this is a good idea.)
(It's fine! He is only wearing a blindfold while trying to break a piñata with a… wooden… bat. Oh shit…)
Rainbow Dash spun Deadpool around in circles a few times before letting him go. Once he stopped spinning, Deadpool dizzyingly walked forwards. He unknowingly was walking away from the piñata.
"I think it's right here," Said Deadpool.
"Ahhh!"
Deadpool swung the bat in front of him, nearly taking out Rarity.
"Everypony take cover!" Ordered Applejack.
Everyone scattered around the main library, trying to keep their distance from Deadpool.
"Am I getting close?" Asked Deadpool.
"Eep!"
Deadpool took another swing, nearly hitting Fluttershy. While she managed to avoid getting hit, she ended up tripping and falling onto the floor.
"Rainbow Dash! This was one of your worst ideas ever!" Shouted Twilight.
"I didn't think he was going to go on a murder spree by putting a blindfold over him!" Shouted Rainbow defensively.
Suddenly, Twilight felt a wooden object poke her side.
"I think I found the piñata!" Said Deadpool.
To her horror, Twilight saw Deadpool beside her. He stood up on his hind legs and held the bat over his head, ready to strike.
(NOT THE MAREFRIEND!)
"Ahhhhhh!"
SMACK!
WHAM!
THUD!
As he was about to strike, Twilight summoned a force field around herself. The bat bounced off its surface and ended up smacking Deadpool in the face. He fell over with a mighty thud, completely disoriented.
(Phew! If we had accidentally hit Twilight, Shining Armor would not believe us and would have Princess Celestia banish us to the moon.)
Twilight looked at her coltfriend and shook her head. She used her magic to remove the blindfold around his eyes and take the bat from his grasp.
"(Groan) I thought I was going to whack a piñata, not my face," Remarked Deadpool painfully.
"Okay, new rule: whenever there is a piñata around, Wade is to NEVER wear a blindfold and has to use a rubber spatula," Said Twilight.
After Deadpool recovered from hitting his own face, he broke the piñata safely. Afterwards, he and his friends played even more party games. After playing games for almost an hour, the group decided to have Deadpool open his presents to wrap up the evening. He was currently opening a gift wrapped in purple paper given to him by Rarity. Opening the top, he pulled out a black bow tie with a garnet embedded in the center.
"This actually looks cool! Thanks, Rarity!" Said Deadpool gratefully.
"You're welcome, darling! When you aren't wearing that dreadful spandex, you should always look your best," Said Rarity.
Meanwhile, Twilight and Rainbow Dash were watching from the doorway leading downstairs.
"Hey, Rainbow, you are not still planning on giving Wade your gag gift, are you?" Asked Twilight.
"Nah! After what he went through today, I do not want to take any chances. I have it right here."
Rainbow pointed towards a spot to her left. She looked and found that the gift was missing.
"Where did it go?" Asked Rainbow.
Just then, Applejack walked by.
"Howdy, Rainbow! Are ya lookin' for somethin'?" Asked Applejack.
"Yeah, have you seen a present wrapped in blue paper?" Asked Rainbow.
"I did indeed. I found it over here. I thought you left it there by mistake, so I put it with the rest of the gifts. I think Deadpool is openin' it right now," Explained Applejack.
Sure enough, when Rainbow Dash looked towards Deadpool, she saw him holding her gift.
"I am SO going to have leftover cake on my face!" Thought Rainbow fearfully.
She watched on fearfully as Deadpool opened her gift. Once he pulled out the shaving kit, he looked at her. When they locked eyes, she began to sweat bullets.
"... HAHAHAHAHA!"
To her surprise, Rainbow Dash saw Deadpool fall over on his ass and laughed hysterically. He laughed for over a minute before he could manage to speak.
"This is the best gag gift I have ever received! Thanks, Rainbow!" Said Deadpool with a laugh.
Rainbow Dash responded with a friendly wave. She then wiped the sweat from her forehead. Twilight walked up to Deadpool with a loving smile.
"I assume the best gift has been saved for last?" Asked Deadpool suggestively.
"Since I did not have much time to come up with something to give you, I figured I could give you this."
Twilight raised Deadpool's mask until it rested on the bridge of his nose. Twilight then gave him a peck on the cheek. This caused a dopey smile to form on his face.
"That was easily the best gift I have received today! When your birthday comes around I need to top all of this. You will be turning sixteen, right?" Asked Deadpool playfully.
"(Chuckles) Thanks, but I am going to be twenty-two," Answered Twilight.
"Twenty-two?!" Learning of how old Twilight will be on her next birthday left Deadpool in absolute shock. "I knew there was a bit of an age gap between us, but I didn't realize to what extent."
"Really? How old are you today?" Asked Twilight.
"... Thirty…"
There was silence in the room as everyone processed this new information.
… HAHAHAHA!
The silence was quickly replaced with laughter from everyone but Deadpool and Twilight. Both of them were pink in the cheeks.
"Ha! You're dating an old stallion!" Said Rainbow hysterically.
"Hey! She may be younger than me, but that doesn't make me old!" Said Deadpool irritably.
With his friends still laughing, Deadpool decided he had enough. He grabbed a glass of Sweet Apple Acres cider that was resting next to him, and tapped on the glass to get everyone's attention.
"Ah-Ahem! If we can all change the topic, I want to thank you all again for this amazing party. I haven't had a lot of happy moments, but this most certainly was one of the best days of my life, even if it had a rocky start. Most importantly, I'm glad to have all of you in my life. I wouldn't be where I am today if I had not met any of you. I would like to propose a toast to our friendship."
Wade held his glass in front of himself. With smiles on their faces, everyone grabbed their own glass of cider and held them close to Wade's. To everyone's surprise, a glass containing red wine appeared next to the glasses. It was held in a light blue magic aura.
"Rarity? Is that wine?" Asked Deadpool.
"A couple hours ago, I decorated the main library in red and black! Let me have this one!" Said Rarity irritably.
"Yeah, you do you, girl. I was only going to ask if I could have some," Said Wade.
Twilight shot a glare towards Deadpool, causing him to roll his eyes.
"Fine, I will drink this instead. I did have eight bottles of beer during my depression this evening," Said Deadpool.
CLING!
Everyone bumped their glasses together in cheers, toasting their friendship.
One hour later…
After an evening of fun, the party had reached its conclusion. After cleaning up, everyone went home. While Spike went to bed, Twilight and Deadpool sat on the couch downstairs.
"Thanks for giving me an awesome birthday today," Said Deadpool.
"You're very welcome. I'm glad we were able to make you happy today," Said Twilight.
KNOCK! KNOCK!
Suddenly, they could hear a knock at the door from upstairs.
"Who's here at this hour? I'll go get it."
Deadpool got up from the couch and quickly ran upstairs. When he opened the door, he was greeted by a royal guard.
"Delivery for Wade Wilson from her majesty Princess Celestia," Said the guard.
"That's me," Replied Deadpool.
The guard handed a rather large package to Deadpool as well as a scroll. Deadpool gave the guard a salute before shutting the door. Without having the aid of magic, Deadpool precariously carried the package and scroll downstairs. Once back in the living room, Deadpool placed the package on the coffee table.
"What's this?" Asked Twilight.
"Apparently Princess Celestia has something for me. Let's see if this has any answers."
Deadpool opened the scroll and read its contents.
Dear Wade,
In light of being informed of your birthday by my faithful student, I would like to give you something to commemorate this day. From letters written to me and seeing you in action, I have seen much growth from you since we first met. I would like to give you this as a sign of respect and how proud I am of you.
Your Princess and Friend, Princess Celestia.
Deadpool looked at Twilight, who had a sheepish grin on her face.
"I may have told Celestia today was your birthday," Said Twilight sheepishly.
Eager to see what was inside, Deadpool opened up the package. Carefully, he pulled out what he recognized as a sword. The blade was thirty inches long, and the hilt had a disk shaped pommel on the end. Upon seeing it herself, Twilight looked at the sword in awe.
"Wow! Another sword to add to my collection!" Said Deadpool.
"Wade, do you know what this is?!" Asked Twilight.
"It's another sword I can stab shit with! I don't recognize what kind it is, though," Said Deadpool.
"That's an Equestrian arming sword! They were the primary weapon of Equestrian knights before the E.U.P. Guard was established!"
With new awe in his eyes, Deadpool lightly stroked the air with the blade. The sword wasn't too heavy but could still deliver a powerful strike.
"Wow! I've never felt so honored in my life! I know who's getting the first thank you card!"
Deadpool delicately set the blade down on the coffee table before sitting back down next to Twilight.
"Today turned out to be a great day, didn't it?" Asked Twilight.
"It was, and it's all thanks to you and our friends," Answered Deadpool.
Twilight scooted towards Deadpool and leaned against him. He held her in an embrace, and they stayed that way for over a minute before Twilight looked at a wall clock and saw the time was 9:30 pm.
"We should probably get ready for bed," Said Twilight.
"Yeah. Before we do that, could we stay like this for just another minute?" Asked Deadpool.
"Hmm… Let's make it two minutes."
Both Deadpool and Twilight smiled. As promised, they both stayed in each other's embrace, although it lasted much longer than two minutes.
Fin.
Hey everyone! I hope you all enjoyed the latest chapter of "Deadpool: Mercenary of Harmony"! To those that don't know, on February 10th, 1991, the world was introduced to Deadpool in "New Mutants #98. This chapter was dedicated to celebrate Deadpool's thirtieth anniversary on Wednesday. Be sure to stay tuned for the next chapter, because it will mark an important occasion in Deadpool and Twilight's relationship. Until next time, this has been ThePhantomArchives, and here's to thirty more years of Deadpool!