The voices of the members of his Private Council pierce through the fog his mind seems to be wrapped in these days. Henry focus back on the meeting happening in his study, but soon enough his mind wanders back to the one person he can't seem to shake from his mind: Bella.
He gives up then, knowing that no matter how hard he tries, he won't be able to see this meeting through, not right now, not while she is still so very present in his mind, consuming almost every thought of his.
Telling the Council that the meeting is over and that they will reconvene later, Henry watches the Lords leave his study, some grumbling about the meeting having been cut too short. He needs to tighten the leash around them.
Henry leans back in his chair, letting out a breath and rubs his face. He misses Bella and Alexis, and hates the way he left things between them, but it was the only way, it had to be done that way.
True, he could've fought a little harder for her, but the reality is that his reputation will always follow him and the last thing he wants is to put Bella and Alexis in a position where they will need to fight to defend him every time someone says something less flattering about him.
They deserve better than that, they deserve someone who has a good reputation and won't make a target out of them. That is something that Henry can't give them, no matter how much he enjoyed deluding himself that he could.
He rakes a hand through his hair, thinking that at least now Bella knows who Alexander really is, even if he does wish that he could see her one last time just so he could tell her how much she means to him.
Opening the drawer to his right, Henry pulls out a letter and smiles at the handwriting on the front. Every week since he left Tidaholm, Alexis has written to him and he would be lying if he said that he wasn't always happy to receive her letters.
He opens the letter and reads through it, the young woman writing all that has happened since her last letter with her and her family, specially Bella. As he reaches the end, and without fail, Alexis ended it by asking him to return and fight for her mother.
Henry closes his eyes, the memory of Bella laughing during his first lunch with her and Alexis filling his mind, and a tear escapes his eyes. He remembers that moment and how it was the first time in a long time where he thought he could truly have a family of his own and how his heart swelled at the thought.
He misses her, he is man enough to admit that, but he needs to remind himself that this is for the best, that Bella and Alexis are better off without him. Putting the letter away, Henry takes a deep breath, before focusing on the papers in front of him and telling himself, over and over again, that this is for the best. But is it?