A spotlight shined down from above, revealing Twilight Sparkle. She was standing in front of a podium, holding flash cards with her magic.
"If somepony had told me when I was a blank flank that one day I'd give a speech to a class at Celestia's School of Magic, I wouldn't have believed it, but…"
Twilight paused her train of thought to look for the next flash card. After shuffling through half of her deck, she found the one she was looking for.
"I hope that I have been up to the task, because I can tell that all of you are and that the future of Equestrian magic is in good hooves."
Zzz…
Twilight was practicing for a speech in the lecture hall of Celestia's School of Magic when snoring could be heard from across the room. The snoring was coming from Deadpool, who was sitting next to Spike in the hall's large collection of seats. Spike jabbed him in the side to wake him up.
"(Snort) Huh?! Woo! Gettysburg!" Blurted Deadpool while clapping his hooves.
"Wow, hehe. That was even better than the first eleven times," Said Spike with the best grin he could muster.
"Eh, I don't know. I'd like to be able to get through the whole speech without looking at the cards," Said Twilight.
"Come on, Twilight! You can't be nervous about giving a speech to a bunch of magic students! You like lecturing others!" Said Deadpool.
(Even if nopony asked.)
(Like us for the last FIVE hours!)
"Oh, I'm not nervous, but I do have to set a good example, especially for magic students. That's why this speech has to be…"
"(Sigh) Perfect?" Guessed Deadpool and Spike in unison.
"Exactly. Let's go through it one more time." Twilight saw Deadpool raise his hoof in the air. "Yes, Wade?"
"May I have the hall pass? I need to use the bathroom," Said Deadpool.
"Really?" Asked Twilight skeptically.
"...No."
As Deadpool slid down his seat in defeat, Twilight cleared her throat.
"When Princess Celestia asked me to speak to you today, I was honored to have the opportunity to talk about my favorite subject: magic."
The next day…
A large crowd of students had gathered to watch Twilight's lecture. The lecture hall was packed with students, about every seat was occupied. Behind Twilight, a projection screen showed a slide of the Cutie Mark Crusaders and their cutie marks, which they had acquired recently.
"Obviously, the long term effects of the simultaneous acquisition of cutie marks has yet to be determined, but…" Twilight paused to grab a glass of water resting on the podium and take a sip of it. "Ahem. Next slide, please."
Twilight looked towards the front row seats at Spike and Deadpool. The latter was not wearing his suit. Instead, he was wearing a pair of blue jeans and a red hoodie.
"Uh, yeah. If I tried to enter the school in my tights when students were on campus, I would've been tackled by security."
Deadpool looked at Spike, who was sleeping against a slide projector. He then nudged the young dragon awake.
"Huh?" Muttered Spike sleepily.
"It's time for the next slide," Said Deadpool.
"Oh!"
Spike hastily grabbed a photo and inserted it into the projector. To his surprise, he saw that he inserted a picture of himself sitting in a lawn chair on a beach, wearing triangle-shaped lens sunglasses and holding a glass of juice in his left hand. Oblivious to what was happening on the screen behind her, Twilight continued her lecture while Spike frantically searched through the pile of photos for the correct one.
"Which one is it?!" Asked Spike frantically.
"Here (Snort), let me help," Said Deadpool while suppressing his laughter.
Deadpool took out the current slide from the projector, then inserted one from the pile. This one revealed a rather suggestive image of Deadpool laying on his side in a wooden furnished room with a lit fireplace behind him. The crowd of students looked at the screen with confused looks while Twilight continued her lecture obliviously.
(Ooo! Hello handsome!)
"Oops! That's not it!"
Deadpool grabbed a different photo and shoved it into the projector. This time, the photo was of Twilight and her friends in the throne room of the Castle of Friendship.
"Phew! I found the right one. I was afraid I had put one of my dic pics in the projector," Said Deadpool.
"I can speak from experience that the power of Cutie Mark Magic is very real, and in the instance of my friends and I, it can be traced to a single event!" Said Twilight.
The next slide was a combined image of Twilight and the Mane Six as fillies, discovering their special talents that earned them their cutie marks.
"Without Rainbow Dash's race to defend Fluttershy's honor, this rainboom wouldn't have happened. Fluttershy might never have discovered her love of animals. Applejack might never have realized that she belonged on her farm, and Pinkie Pie might never have decided to leave hers. It might be hard to imagine Rarity without her sense of fabulousness, but it's even harder to fathom what my life would be like," Said Twilight.
"Without this rainboom, I might not have gotten into magic school. Celestia wouldn't have taken me on as her pupil or sent me to Ponyville to meet my friends. As well as my special somepony later on."
"Destiny!" Sang Deadpool from the top of his lungs.
"And the most powerful thing about Cutie Mark Magic that I found is the connection I share with them."
As she gave her speech, Twilight looked at the crowd of students. For a split second, she caught a glimpse of a unicorn mare with a lilac coat and a purple and teal mane and tail sitting a few rows back from Spike and Deadpool. When she set her gaze at the edge of the seats, the mare caused something to click in Twilight's mind. She stopped her speech and looked at where she saw the mare. She wasn't sitting in the same spot, so Twilight looked around the room. There was no sign of the mare anywhere, which made her nervous.
"But, um…"
To recompose herself, Twilight tried to continue her speech, but she found herself unable to remember the words. She nervously shuffled through her deck of flashcards, trying to find where she had left off.
"The real question about… Cutie Mark Magic is… who it seems to affect."
A few hours later…
Twilight, Spike, and Deadpool were walking through Ponyville's town square on their way home to the Castle of Friendship. The former was still thinking about who she thought she saw earlier. Did she see her, or was she seeing things?
"Hey, Wade?" Said Twilight.
"Yeah?" Replied Deadpool.
"Would you think I was crazy if I told you I thought I saw somepony we fought against before?" Asked Twilight.
"Twilight, you hangout with me of all ponies. If you haven't acquired some form of insanity after being around me for so long, it would be a miracle. Either way, if you think you saw somepony we've fought before, I wouldn't think you were crazy. It's most likely part of the story," Said Deadpool.
"Okay then. I think I saw Starlight Glimmer while I was giving my speech."
At the mention of her name, Deadpool stopped in his tracks.
"Starlight Glimmer? As in Communist Pony?" Asked Deadpool.
"Is that your nickname for her?" Asked Twilight in reply.
"Among other names, yes. I'm not saying I doubt you, but are you certain you saw her? I didn't notice her 80's haircut among the gathering of students that attended your lecture," Said Deadpool.
"I was sure I saw her, Wade. But when I looked again, she was gone! I'm just worried about what she could be up to," Said Twilight.
"Nothing good, I bet. I heard she wasn't very happy the last time you two saw her," Said Spike.
"Pft! That's an understatement," Said Deadpool.
"Forcing everypony in her village to have the same cutie mark wasn't right. We had to do something!" Said Twilight.
"And something I myself most certainly did. I broke her nose, revealed her true cutie mark to her followers, and dropped an avalanche on her in the span of two days! And now she's pulling a classic villain move, coming back for revenge," Said Deadpool.
"Or she was just really interested in your speech!" Added Spike optimistically.
(Ooo! I sense foreshadowing from that sentence!)
"Honestly, I'm not really sure what I saw. But as long as I have you two and our friends, I know everything will be alright," Said Twilight.
With that positive thought in mind, the three friends continued their way back to the castle. After a short walk, the trio arrived at the castle. Twilight dropped off a pair of saddlebags containing her flashcards and other materials by the door before making her way to the throne room.
"Maybe I was just more stressed about that speech than I thought," Said Twilight.
"That does sound better than Starlight Glimmer coming back with an evil plot for revenge," Said Deadpool.
As soon as they arrived at the entrance of the throne room, Twilight opened the doors with her magic.
"Well, when you say it like that, it does sound kinda silly," Said Twilight.
As they walked into the throne room, Spike stopped in his tracks. Something spooked him, as evidenced by his pupils retracting.
"Or it's totally true!"
Spike pointed towards the center of the room. Sitting in Fluttershy's throne with her hind legs propped up onto the Cutie Map was none other than Starlight Glimmer.
"Welcome home, Twilight and Wade!" Said Starlight with a devious smile.
(Dun, dun, dun!)
"Starlight!" Said Twilight and Deadpool in unison.
Twilight stood in a battle stance while Deadpool grabbed his clothes. He tore them off, revealing a fancy grey suit. Looking at the suit in bewilderment, Deadpool tore it off, too. This time, it revealed his classic suit. He then pulled out his mask and placed it over his head.
"Hey, Starlight! How's your nose doing?" Asked Deadpool.
"Grr…! Better no thanks to you," Said Starlight irritatedly.
"Starlight, what are you doing here in my castle?" Asked Twilight.
"I was just stopping by, so I can show you how I plan on exacting my revenge for what you two and your friends did to me and my village," Answered Starlight.
Deadpool suppressed a chuckle, which Starlight noticed.
"What?" Asked Starlight annoyedly.
"Twilight thought she saw you while she was giving her speech. Is that true?" Asked Deadpool.
"Yes, I was there," Answered Starlight.
"So, have you been spending the past couple of hours sitting on that throne, waiting for us to come home, so you can do a dramatic super villain reveal?!" Asked Deadpool while holding back laughter.
Starlight's only response was to scratch the back of her head while avoiding making eye contact. This was enough of a response for Deadpool. He began to laugh hysterically.
"Ha ha ha ha ha ha! This is rich! I bet you were like…" Deadpool walked over to Applejack's throne and sat in it, propping his hind legs onto the Cutie Map. "'Any minute now, Twilight and Wade will be home, and when they see me, they will be in for the surprise of their lives! I just have to wait for them to return… Any minute now… Yup, any minute'."
"Shut up!" Shouted Starlight angrily.
Having been slightly startled by Starlight's shouting, Deadpool quickly stopped talking.
(You totally called it.)
"Ugh… Thankfully when my plan comes to fruitiation, I won't have to deal with your insufferable humor ever again."
Starlight Glimmer summoned a scroll with her magic. She then cast a spell on the scroll, causing it to float into the air. Magical energy sparked from the scroll, then a teal-colored bolt of electricity struck downwards. It hit the surface of the Cutie Map, causing it to activate. As the map of Equestria appeared, Twilight and Spike ran up to it while Deadpool leapt from his seat.
"What are you doing, Starlight?" Asked Twilight sternly.
"(Laughs) I'd tell you, but I don't want to ruin the surprise!" Starlight grabbed the scroll with her magic, then crumpled it up into a ball. "Won't be needing that anymore!"
Starlight tossed the wadded up scroll past the trio of heroes. A purple-ringed energy field rose from the Cutie Map while Starlight cackled with glee. Twilight attempted to destroy it with a bolt of magic, but it bounced off it. The energy field caused a strong gale to form in the throne room, nearly blowing away Spike before Twilight grabbed him with her wing.
A white orb of electricity formed underneath the roots of the old Golden Oak Library, then expanded into a sphere-shaped portal with star-shaped symbols. The sound of numerous ticking clocks could be heard coming from the portal. With a wicked grin, Starlight levitated herself into the portal. The portal then closed behind her.
"Where'd she go?" Asked Spike.
(Through the portal.)
(Thank you, Captain Obvious!)
"I don't know, Spike, but I think we better find out," Said Twilight determinedly.
"I guess we could start with this," Said Deadpool.
Twilight looked behind her, and saw Deadpool reach for the wadded up scroll.
"Wade, no! Don't touch that!" Said Twilight.
It was too late. As soon as she told him to stop, Deadpool had already picked up the scroll. The portal opened up again above the Cutie Map. The scroll flew towards the portal, astoundingly lifting Deadpool into the air. Twilight grabbed him by the hind legs and Spike grabbed her by the tail, but they too were lifted into the air.
"Ahhh!"
All three of them were sucked into the portal, then it closed up behind them. Just then, one of the doors to the throne room opened up. Pinkie Pie walked into the room, pushing a cart with a pink frosted cake. She looked around the throne room, seeing no signs of her friends. She then ate the entire cake in one bite.
"Ahhhhhh!"
Meanwhile, the group of friends were still travelling through the portal. All of a sudden, the portal opened up. When they emerged from the portal, they found themselves floating in the sky. Deadpool and Spike looked down towards the ground, then at each other.
"Can't fly," Said Deadpool and Spike in unison.
"AHHHH!"
With the full force of gravity now taking effect, Deadpool and Spike fell towards the ground. Twilight quickly flew after them. Deadpool and Spike looked down, and saw they were falling towards a runway. They grabbed each other in panic, and braced themselves for the impact. Just before they hit the road, Twilight grabbed them with her magic.
"Ah! Ah! Ah!" Exclaimed Deadpool.
"Wade," Said Spike.
"Huh? Are we dead?" Asked Deadpool.
To answer his question, Spike pointed to Twilight and her magic aura that was around them.
"Oh. Thanks for saving us Twilight," Said Deadpool.
Twilight gave Deadpool a stern look.
"What?" Asked Deadpool.
She pointed at the scroll in his hoof. This reminded him of how they got in this situation in the first place.
"Ooh! Okay, I'll admit this is on me, but you should've warned me quicker," Said Deadpool.
Rolling her eyes, Twilight let Deadpool and Spike go. She then took a moment to look at her surroundings. She saw that instead of the ground, the runway was built into a cloud. In fact, all around them were buildings made out of clouds. While there were a few adult pegasi in the area, there were more pegasus foals.
"Cloudsdale? Starlight doesn't even have wings. Why would she come here?" Asked Spike.
"A better question we should be asking is how the hell are we and the runway we're standing on not falling through the clouds?" Asked Deadpool while pointing at the edge of the runway and the cloud it's connected to.
"I don't know, Spike, but it looked like she could fly with just magic! Keep your eyes open. We don't know what she has planned," Said Twilight.
WHOOSH!
All of a sudden, something flew past them so fast that Twilight's mane flowed in the generated current. Startled by whatever flew by them, they looked for it. They found a sky blue pegasus filly with an eerie familiar rainbow-colored mane and tail. She landed in front of two pegasus colts and a familiar looking pale yellow pegasus filly with a pink mane and tail who was a little tall for her age.
"Isn't that Rainbow Dash?" Asked Spike.
"Did Rainbow Dash look really young to you?" Asked Twilight.
"Yeah, and I think that's Fluttershy over there," Replied Deadpool.
"I didn't see a cutie mark on either of them. You don't think…"
"...We travelled back in time to when Rainbow Dash raced the bullies who made fun of Fluttershy and performed her first sonic rainboom?" Guessed Spike.
"(Gasp!) It's like "Back to the Future"!" Whispered Deadpool excitedly.
"Only Star Swirl the Bearded could do something like that, and even his spell just went back a week! How could Starlight do more than the greatest wizard in Equestria?!" Pondered Twilight in disbelief.
"With this."
Deadpool showed Twilight the scroll. It contained an incantation that was written a long time ago, but it also had inscriptions that were written recently. It was as if the spell was modified.
"I am by no means an expert when it comes to magic. That's mostly Doctor Strange's thing, but it seems like this is a time travelling spell. And it appears that Starlight had added her own adjustments to it," Said Deadpool.
"That's Star Swirl's spell! Oh no…!" Said Twilight.
"Come on, let's go!" Said Spike.
"Go where?" Asked Twilight.
"To watch the race. I don't wanna miss the rainboom! Whoa!"
Forgetting where he was, Spike stepped off the runway. He fell through the cloud it was on, but Twilight grabbed him in time with her magic. She then placed him on her back before flying towards where the race will be held.
"I guess I'll just stay here then?" Said Deadpool.
A few minutes later…
Twilight flew over to where the race was being held. Rainbow Dash and the two colts were lined up at the starting line on one cloud, Fluttershy was on a cloud in front of the starting line, and a crowd of their peers had gathered on two separate clouds. Fluttershy waved a checkered flag held in her mouth, indicating the start of the race.
"Yelp!"
Rainbow Dash and the colts flew by Fluttershy so quickly that they inadvertently caused her to spin and fall off her cloud towards the ground below. Twilight was about to fly down to save her when Spike pulled on her wing. He wagged a finger at her, and she knew what he was insinuating. She had to let Fluttershy fall, otherwise it could change the future.
Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash and the two pegasus colts blazed through the race course. They passed through three ring-shaped clouds serving as checkpoints in under a minute. As they made the corner to the next checkpoint, one of the colts lost control, and crashed into a pillar-shaped cloud. Gaining the lead, Rainbow Dash grinned from ear to ear.
BAM!
"Whoa!"
The remaining colt slammed into Rainbow Dash's side, causing her to momentarily lose control and giving him the lead.
"Heh! Later, Rainbow Crash!" Teased the colt.
"Hey!" Cried Rainbow angrily.
Both foals flew downwards. Pushing herself to her absolute limit, Rainbow Dash flew so fast that the air around her began to pressurize while also creating a rainbow color. Unbeknownst to her, however, Starlight Glimmer poked her head out of a cloud, using her magic to keep herself from falling to the ground. She looked at Rainbow Dash with a sinister grin.
"Aw, sorry about this."
ZAP!
Starlight cast a beam of magic towards Rainbow Dash. It managed to hit its fast moving target. It caused the filly to stop dead in her tracks. She struggled to get free, but Starlight's magic didn't give way.
"Hey! What gives?" Asked Rainbow angrily.
With Rainbow Dash stuck in place, the colt easily crossed the finish line first.
"Oh no!" Said Twilight and Spike in unison.
"Hey, guys!"
Deadpool shouted and waved to get his friends' attention. Twilight flew over to the runway he was on.
"Starlight Glimmer's over towards the end of the race track. I think she's the reason why Rainbow Dash lost the race," Explained Deadpool.
Twilight looked over to the end of the race course and saw Starlight. She grabbed Deadpool with her magic and flew over to Starlight's location. Once they arrived, Starlight looked at them with a smug smile.
"What did you do?!" Asked Twilight furiously.
"You are about to find out," Replied Starlight.
As if on cue, a new time portal opened up above them. Everyone with the exception of Starlight was sucked up into the portal. After traveling through the portal, an exit hole opened up, and the group of ponies fell towards the ground.
"Ah!"
THUMP!
"Ugh…"
After the abrupt landing, Twilight painfully opened her eyes. She saw the Cutie Map in front of her, indicating that she and the others were back in the present day. But to her surprise, she saw that the map showed the land of Equestria as reddish brown in color.
"I don't know what Starlight's up to yet, but we'd better figure it out before it's too late," Said Twilight.
"Um, Twilight? I think it already is," Said Spike.
Twilight looked up from the Cutie Map, and her jaw dropped with a gasp. The castle was gone! Twilight, Deadpool, and Spike were in an empty plot of land. All that was left of the castle was the Cutie Map and the thrones. The backs of the thrones were broken in half.
"Uh, guys, where's the castle?" Asked Spike.
"The map pulled us back, but whatever Starlight did in the past changed things here," Said Twilight.
"But why? And how did we get here? Where's here?" Asked Spike.
"More of like, when!" Replied Deadpool.
Hearing Deadpool's reply, Spike and Twilight turned to face him, only to regret doing so. They saw that he had the roughest landing out of the three of them. He had landed on the back of his throne. The force of impact must have been great, because the upper half of his body was hanging upside down against the back of his throne while his lower half was hanging limply at an awkward angle, indicating his spinal cord was severed.
"Uh, Wade, are you alright?" Asked Spike.
"Yeah, I'm fine. I can't feel anything from the waist down, but I feel so relaxed!" Replied Deadpool.
Twilight noticed the scroll was next to Deadpool's throne. She picked it up and looked it over.
"As you said, Wade, Starlight altered Star Swirl's spell. She then somehow used it on the map to travel into the past and changed something. Once she did, the map pulled us back to the present," Said Twilight.
"So we're back where- I mean when we started?" Asked Spike.
"Not exactly, everything's different. Look." Upon closer inspection of the Cutie Map, it revealed that most of the land was covered in what appeared to be dark crystals. "The map doesn't make sense anymore. The Crystal Empire takes up half of Equestria!"
"Plus there's the whole missing castle thing."
"Right! This is too big to handle on our own."
"If only my pal Cable was here to help us," Said Deadpool.
"We need to find our friends and get help," Said Twilight.
"Good idea, assuming they're still here. We better start walking to Ponyville. Oh, wait, that's right. I'm paralyzed. Unless one of you wants to give me a piggyback ride, we're going to have to wait for my healing factor to kick in."
While they waited for Deadpool's spine to heal, Twilight picked him up and laid him down in a much more comfortable position. A few minutes later, the three heroes followed a path leading into Ponyville. As soon as they entered their beloved town, they saw it was different. Many of the houses were run down and completely abandoned. Many of the roofs had holes in them, and the windows were bordered up with wooden boards.
As they continued to walk down the empty streets, Deadpool and Spike looked up at one of the houses, and saw a yellow earth pony mare with an orange mane which curled at the front looking at them through a window.
"Hey, it's Carrot Top!" Said Spike.
Both Spike and Deadpool waved at Carrot Top. When she saw them wave at her, she had a look of fear on her face. She then hastily closed the curtains over the window.
"That was… weird," Said Spike.
"Yeah. Clearly Ponyville isn't as friendly as it used to be," Replied Deadpool.
"I'm getting a bad feeling about this," Said Spike nervously.
"I know, Spike, but this is Ponyville. How bad could things be?" Asked Twilight.
"Damn! She said one of the questions you never ask if you're in a story, film or tv show!" Said Deadpool to himself.
As they continued along the path, a large shadow enveloped them. They looked up, and they saw that the shadow was cast by Sugarcube Corner. Yet, it wasn't the confectionery that they knew. The exterior of the shop had none of the cheery candy-themed decor that gave it a vibrant vibe. Other than a loaf of bread on top, it was just a plain old building.
"That's Sugarcube Corner? It looks so… boring. Pinkie would be very upset," Said Deadpool.
"I don't understand. What happened here?" Asked Twilight.
"(Gasp!) Rarity!"
Spike hastily ran towards Carousel Boutique. As soon as he got there, he saw that the windows were bordered up like many of the houses. His heart now beating rapidly, he ran up to the door and knocked on it quickly.
"Rarity?!" Shouted Spike in panic.
Getting no answer from the door, Spike tried peering through a window to the left of the door. There was a large enough gap in between two wooden beams. He used the lowest beam to hoist him up to the gap and peered inside. There was no sign of Rarity. Only a dark room with no light emitting from anywhere.
"I don't think she is here, Spike." Spike looked back, and saw that Twilight and Deadpool had caught up with him. I'm not sure anything we know is the same. But I know one place that could never change!" Said Twilight.
A few minutes later…
The creaking of an old wooden sign hanging from a metal arch filled the ears of the three heroes. This soothing sound was quickly drowned out by the sound of heavy machinery. Looking past the entrance, they saw that Sweet Apple Acres was converted from the humble family-owned apple orchard into an industrial apple-processing plant. The main barn had three brick smokestacks protruding from the roof, a water silo with an apple logo was present on the roof as well, and a conveyor belt ran through one of the windows. Twilight, Spike, and Deadpool looked at Sweet Apple Acres with their jaws dropped to the floor.
"... Fuckin' capitalism," Muttered Deadpool irritatedly.
Deadpool and his friends walked up to one of the windows. The glass was heavily blanketed in smog. He and Twilight wiped some smog from the glass, coating their hooves with the putrid stuff. They then looked through the window to see what was going on inside.
A metal chute from the second floor directed apples into a large industrial sized boiler of sorts. The conveyor belt that leads out the window also starts from the second floor, moving cans to the first floor until they pass underneath a faucet connected to the cooker. Automatically, applesauce was poured from the faucet into each can. The cans of applesauce then passed by a machine that placed lids on them, then are sealed by a mechanical arm wielding a wooden hammer.
While looking at the dreary sight within the barn, they heard something made of wood being pushed past them. They looked towards their right towards the barn's entrance, and saw someone they knew dearly. The pony they saw was Applejack who was rolling a wooden barrel of what was most likely apple cider. Instead of her beloved stetson hat, she was wearing a camo beanie hat with a black bandana wrapped around it atop her head. She also wore a matching camo uniform, and her mane and tail were held down by hairnets.
"Applejack?!"
Deadpool and Twilight eagerly ran towards their friend and hugged her. She lightly shoved them off of her, and looked at them with a neutral look.
"What can I do for you two?" Asked Applejack.
"It's so good to see you! We couldn't find Pinkie or Rarity or Fluttershy or Rainbow Dash, but I just knew you'd still be here!" Said Twilight happily.
As Twilight spoke to her, Applejack rolled the barrel onto a wooden cart before standing it upright.
"Of course I am. This is my home. But who in tarnation is Pinkie Bow and Flutterdash? Or you three for that matter?" Asked Applejack to Twilight.
"I guess that means AppleDash isn't a thing here," Said Deadpool to himself.
(Not yet, my friend. Not yet.)
(At least she said a different ship!)
"You… don't know who we are?" Asked Twilight hurtfully.
"Nope. Honestly, the only name I recognize is Rarity, but she left for Manehattan years ago," Said Applejack.
"Probably to become a world-famous fashion designer, I bet," Said Spike.
"Not that I know of. Last I heard, she went to help with the cause like everypony else. Although, now that I think about it, you look familiar."
Applejack walked up to Deadpool and looked him over. She looked at his mask, then something clicked in her.
"Are you by chance Wade Wilson?" Asked Applejack.
"Uh, yeah? You know who I am in this universe?" Asked Deadpool in reply.
"Yeah, yeah I know you. I've seen you on a lot of promotional material. You're part of a troop made up of superfolk drafted to fight for the cause?" Asked Applejack.
"I'm a war hero?! Awesome!" Said Deadpool.
"You keep mentioning 'the cause'. What is that exactly?" Asked Twilight.
"The war against King Sombra and the Crystal Empire?" Answered Applejack.
"What?!" Cried Twilight, Deadpool and Spike in unison.
"How do any of you, especially you, Wade, not know about it? Where have all of you been?" Asked Applejack.
"Actually, it's when," Said Spike.
"I know this is hard to believe, but you, Wade, Spike and I, as well as those other ponies I mentioned are friends," Said Twilight.
"Did you bump your head on a crate of cider or something?" Asked Applejack skeptically.
"I'm telling you the truth! And if you come with us, I'll prove it."
With Deadpool and Spike in tow, Twilight ran in the direction of the Cutie Map. Not paying anything she said to mind, Applejack went back towards the cart. Before she could get back to work, Deadpool ran back and forcefully grabbed her, then ran on his hind legs back to the others.
"Illegal but morally acceptable kidnapping!" Said Deadpool.
"Hey!" Said Applejack.
A few minutes later…
Twilight was showing Applejack the Cutie Map. The latter looked at it inquisitively.
"Well, I'll admit, I've lived in these parts my whole life and I've never seen this before," Said Applejack.
"There's also supposed to be a castle that goes with it," Said Spike.
"But I still don't see what this has to do with all of us being friends," Said Applejack.
"Another pony named Starlight Glimmer used this map to travel through time and change things in the past. For some reason, the map's here but everything else is different," Explained Twilight.
"Different how?" Asked Applejack.
"Well, for one thing, when we're from, there's no epic war with King Tall, Dark and Suave," Said Deadpool.
At the thought of an alternate timeline where Equestria was not in the throws of war, Applejack's ears drooped out of sadness.
"But maybe you could tell us how the war started, then we can figure out when everything changed," Said Twilight.
"That's easy enough. (Sighs) When the Crystal Empire returned, it brought King Sombra back with it…
Several months earlier…
The sky was red over the Crystal Empire. Underneath the great Crystal Castle, many of the Empire's inhabitants were bound together by shackles. King Sombra walked over to some of the terrified Crystal Ponies, and forcefully placed metal helmets over their heads. One by one, the helmets placed them under mind control.
"When he returned, he forced every one of his subjects to fight for him against Equestria," Said Applejack.
"Ooo! A flashback in no particular viewpoint used to show past events to the reader! I like it!" Said Deadpool.
"Do you mind?"
"Sorry."
A little while later, King Sombra and his army marched out onto a barren landscape. Opposite to them, Princess Celestia and a large army made up of the rest of Equestria's citizens. At the command of both rulers, the armies ran towards each other. With the sound of thunder created by hoofsteps behind them, they engaged each other in battle. Most combatants engaged each other in hoof-to-hoof combat, while others fought each other with weapons such as spears and swords.
As they fought each other, King Sombra walked confidently out onto the battlefield. Three stallions from the E.U.P. guard went to apprehend him, but he raised himself up on a platform of rocks, causing them to run into them. Meanwhile, a pegasus wearing a blue uniform with lightning patterns, and a mask and visor took out three Crystal Ponies at once with three swift kicks to the head. They stood out from other members of Celestia's army by having a metal left wing.
A soldier from Sombra's army jumped onto the pegasus's back and tried to restrain her. They headbutted them in the face, causing them to fall to the ground. This caused their mask and visor to fall off, revealing Rainbow Dash. Her rainbow-colored mane was spiked in the back and drooped over her right eye.
Unbeknownst to her, two members of Sombra's army were on top of a cliff overlooking the battlefield. They pushed a large boulder over the edge. Rainbow Dash noticed a large shadow looming over her, and she looked up. Seeing the boulder falling towards her fast, she braced herself for impending doom.
SHING!
Suddenly, a loud slicing sound caught her attention. She hesitantly opened her eyes, and saw that the boulder had been sliced in two. Each half had landed on her sides. She looked ahead and saw Deadpool from this timeline looking at her. He was wearing a camo uniform but was still wearing his usual red mask. Holding a katana in his left hoof, he saluted her with his right. Returning the gesture, she looked behind her, seeing several of Sombra's soldiers. She and Deadpool nodded at each other, then rushed the soldiers.
Rainbow Dash tackled a soldier to the ground while Deadpool delivered an uppercut to a different soldier. Rainbow swiftly got up, grabbed another soldier and slammed them into the ground face first. Deadpool firmly held his katana, and swung it at three soldiers. The blade cut through the helmets, causing them to fall off. The innocent Crystal Ponies underneath were unscathed, and they shook the effects of Sombra's mind control off. Deadpool gestured for them to leave, which they did without hesitation.
As a soldier was running towards him, Deadpool lowered his body to allow Rainbow Dash to roll over him and deliver a knockout punch. Deadpool then tossed his katana at a soldier that was coming for her, knocking them out with the hilt of his blade. She tossed the katana back at him, then saw they were completely surrounded.
They nodded their heads, then Deadpool grabbed Rainbow Dash by the hind legs. He spun her around in a circle, generating enough momentum for her to strike her opponents with powerful punches. Once they were no longer surrounded, Deadpool let her go. Flying across the battlefield like a jet, Rainbow Dash tackled two of Sombra's soldiers, then knocked them out with a punch to the face. Looking back at Deadpool who was twenty meters away, she saluted him before flying off.
"Whoa, that was awesome!"
Deadpool looked over to his right, and saw Deadpool from the original timeline. The main Merc with a Mouth had somehow got himself in the flashback.
"This version of me is so badass! I want to be just like him when I grow up," Said Deadpool.
"Thanks! Awesome suit by the way," Said Deadpool from the alternate timeline.
"(Gasp!) Fourth wall break inside a fourth wall break! That's like… sixteen walls!"
"Hey! Do you mind?!" Asked Applejack annoyedly.
"Sorry," Said both Deadpools in unison.
The main Deadpool disappeared while the Deadpool from the alternate timeline just shrugged his shoulders. He then ran towards Sombra's forces, and leapt at them with his katana ready to strike.
"Even with Princess Celestia leading the charge, it still takes every last pony in Equestria doing their part, working day and night to keep up the fight," Said Applejack.
Back in the present day, Twilight, Deadpool, and Spike looked at Applejack in disbelief. They couldn't believe that things in Equestria had gotten so bad due to Starlight Glimmer meddling with the past.
"I just can't believe it! We stopped King Sombra. You, me, Wade, Spike and all of our friends," Said Twilight.
"But it was Spike who really saved the day," Added Deadpool.
Hearing Deadpool mention his triumph in defeating King Sombra and saving the Crystal Empire, Spike smiled and puffed up his chest while placing his hands on his hips.
"But we aren't friends. At least not here," Said Applejack.
"Right," Said Twilight glumly.
"Look, I hope all of this helped, but I really need to get back to canning those apples."
Applejack began to walk away, heading towards the direction of Sweet Apple Acres.
"Thank you. We're going to set things right," Said Twilight.
Applejack stopped in her tracks. She sighed before looking back at Twilight.
"I hope you do."
After looking at Twilight then Spike and Deadpool, Applejack continued her walk back home.
"So… how are we gonna set things right?" Asked Spike.
"I don't know!" Overwhelmed by the situation, Twilight planted her face on the surface of the Cutie Map. "The only thing we know for sure is that Starlight stopped the rainboom, making it so that Applejack, the rest of the girls and I don't end up becoming friends."
"And the castle is gone," Added Deadpool.
"And the map's still here," Added Spike.
After listening to what Spike said, Twilight looked at the Cutie Map. Right then, she came up with an idea.
"Spike, that's it! The map is connected to the Tree of Harmony! It must sense that something isn't right! That's why it's still here! I'll just use Starlight's version of the spell and go back a little earlier and stop her before she even knows we're there!" Said Twilight.
(Wait a minute. As much of a cliche this whole chapter is, doesn't "Avengers: Endgame" tell us that going back to the past and changing prior events doesn't work?)
(Haven't you watched "The Terminator"? That is obviously how time travel works. Why else would you send a cyborg assassin from the future that looks like Arnold Schwarzenegger back in time to kill Linda Hamilton?)
(Did you listen to Bruce Banner's explanation of how time travel would most likely work in the real world? Think about it: If you start from the present and go back to the past, the present becomes the past, or present-past if you will, while the past becomes the present or past-present. If you changed something in the past-present then traveled back to the present-past, the past-present becomes the past-present-past and the present-past becomes the present-past-present. So in actuality, the present-past-present effectively remains the same.)
(... My brain hurts! [Gasp!] Does that mean Paul Rudd was right in that "Back to the Future" is a bunch of bullshit?!)
BONK!
Hearing enough of the conversation between the two voices in his head, Deadpool bonked himself in the head.
"That's enough time travel logistics out of the both of you! And "Back to the Future" is not bullshit!" Said Deadpool annoyedly.
Twilight gave Deadpool a confused look before using her magic to levitate the scroll over the Cutie Map. She then cast the spell Starlight Glimmer used, causing a new time portal to open up above the map. She, Deadpool, and Spike were lifted into the air, the latter grabbing the scroll on the way up. They were then sucked into the portal.
After traveling through the portal, they ended up back above Cloudsdale. Both Deadpool and Spike fell briefly before Twilight caught them both with her magic.
"All we have to do now is find Starlight and-"
ZAP!
Before Twilight could finish her sentence, she, Deadpool and Spike were frozen in a large semi-transparent purple crystal block. The crystal block fell onto the main cloud making up Cloudsdale below. The crystal block's weight was causing it to slowly sink through the cloud.
"Well, finding her will be easy, but stopping her's gonna be harder than you think."
Starlight Glimmer appeared in front of them, using her magic to levitate above the cloud.
"Fuck…!" Thought Deadpool to himself.
"Sorry to disappoint you, but I created that spell to send myself back in time. So even when you cast it, I still get sent back here. It wasn't difficult to change Star Swirl's spell. He'd already done the hard part, but figuring out I could use the map to go to any time or place and pull you along with me? (Laughs) I even impressed myself with that. I knew you'd try to stop me. You two 'heroes' are so predictable," Said Starlight.
(Predictable?! We'll show you predictable!)
"Why else would I leave the scroll behind? Touching it triggered the map to whisk you here and watch me erase the one thing that linked you with your friends and even Wade, Twilight!" Starlight landed on the crystal block, causing it to sink further into the cloud. "My village was a sanctuary of equality, where nopony's cutie mark allowed them to feel superior! It was a special place, and you two and your friends took it away!"
Starlight realized that the crystal block entrapping the heroes had sunk through the top of the cloud. She levitated herself underneath the cloud, where the crystal block was almost done sinking through.
"Now it's my turn to take something special from you! Without the rainboom, you Twilight and your friends will never form your special cutie mark bonds! And you two lovebirds can forget about your future now that you will no longer have met in Ponyville! Cutie marks for cutie marks! Sounds like a fair trade to me!"
With a wicked smile, Starlight placed a hoof on the crystal block, and lightly pushed on it. The crystal block detached from the cloud, and it fell towards the ground below. As they fell closer and closer towards the ground, Twilight focused her magic into her horn. With a flash of light, she teleported herself, Deadpool and Spike out of the crystal block. While she caught her breath, she quickly realized her friends were continuing to fall towards the ground.
"TWILIIIIIIIGHT!" Cried Deadpool and Spike.
"Oops!" Muttered Twilight.
Remembering that both of her friends can't fly, Twilight flew after them. As the ground became increasingly visible, Deadpool and Spike screamed at the top of their lungs. Seeing Twilight flying towards them, Deadpool grabbed Spike and held him in his left foreleg. Flying at max speed, Twilight managed to grab Deadpool. Seeing her flying in a superhero-like pose with her mane and tail blowing elegantly in the wind, the latter smiled under his mask while wrapping his free arm around her neck.
"My hero…!" Deadpool then whispered into Twilight's ear. "You can rail me anytime, Mare of Steel!"
"Wade!" Said Twilight while blushing profusely.
"What? Being the damsel in distress makes me horny."
"Get your mind out of the gutter, Wade. We need to focus on stopping Starlight. At least now we know exactly what to do."
A few minutes later…
Twilight, Deadpool, and Spike were hiding in a cloud. They were surveying the area, looking for Starlight Glimmer.
"Okay, keep your eyes peeled," Said Twilight.
"Right!" Said Deadpool and Spike in unison.
"We have to stop Starlight as soon as Rainbow Dash and those bullies race by," Said Twilight.
Deadpool pulled out a pair of binoculars from somewhere and looked around. He eventually found something that caught his attention.
"Um, Twilight?" Said Deadpool.
"So be ready," Said Twilight.
"I know, but-"
"Because she could pop up anywhere."
"Like over there?"
Deadpool pointed down towards the right, and gave Twilight the binoculars. She looked towards where he pointed, and saw something that caused her to gasp out of shock. She saw Starlight Glimmer talking to filly Fluttershy and the two colts who bullied her. She hastily grabbed Deadpool and Spike with her magic and flew over to Starlight's location.
"Just remember how you'd feel if someone said those things to you," Said Starlight.
"What's going on here?" Asked Twilight sternly while landing.
"Oh, I was just reminding these two colts how hurtful teasing can be," Answered Starlight while glaring daggers into her foes.
"Well, don't!" Said Twilight angrily.
"Huh?" Said the colts and Fluttershy.
"I mean… you were?" Asked Twilight.
"Of course! In a world where everypony is unique, some are bound to feel more special than others. But that isn't a license to be cruel, is it?" Asked Starlight with a smug smile.
"No, of course not…" Said Twilight.
Oh, isn't it a shame we don't live in a world where everypony is equal? No one would ever tease anyone there! Wouldn't that be nice?" Asked Starlight.
"Mm-hmm!" Muttered Fluttershy and the colts.
"No, it wouldn't! I mean, it'd be nice not to be teased, of course, but that's not the same thing!" Said Twilight.
"Nice save," Said Deadpool sarcastically.
"Come on, Fluttershy. Maybe I can help you get through the course this time," Said one of the colts.
"Well, I-I sure could use the practice," Said Fluttershy.
Fluttershy and her former bullies walked off towards one of the flight courses. Deadpool looked around while Starlight and Twilight were staring intensely at each other.
"Where are the adults at this flight school? Four strangers, three of them being adults, are talking to defenseless kids. We could have lured them into our van with candy and drove off without anypony knowing," Said Deadpool.
"I know you only convinced those bullies to not tease Fluttershy to stop the rainboom!" Said Twilight to Starlight.
"Oh, that's not true. I convinced them not to be bullies because everypony should be equal. Stopping the rainboom is just a bonus," Said Starlight bitterly.
WHOOSH!
"Look!"
Spike pointed at the sky. The group saw Rainbow Dash soaring across the sky.
"This isn't over yet!" Said Twilight.
"If you say so," Said Starlight.
Placing Deadpool on the runway and carrying Spike on her back, Twilight leapt to the air and flew after Rainbow Dash.
"Wait, Twilight! You may be friends in the future, but right now you are an adult and Rainbow's…" Deadpool saw Twilight fly after Rainbow Dash before disappearing from sight. "... A kid. Uh… I hope we can get a good lawyer. Maybe Matt Murdock?"
(Considering what time we are in, Murdock would probably be in early high school. He wouldn't be able to help us.)
Deadpool and Starlight exchange awkward looks with each other. Deadpool then turned to face her.
"So… What's new with you? You know, other than the time travel plot to end mine and Twilight's friendships," Said Deadpool awkwardly.
Starlight gave him a confused look in response to his attempt at small talk. Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash was soaring through the sky, practicing her flying skills on the race course. She looked over her right shoulder and saw Twilight flying next to her. The quirky alicorn was smiling at her with a toothy smile, which made her feel uncomfortable.
"Hi!" Greeted Twilight with her toothy grin.
Spike, who was holding on to Twilight's tail for dear life due to how fast she had to fly in order to keep up with Rainbow Dash, waved to the filly.
"Um… hi?" Greeted Rainbow.
"You think you can stop for a minute?" Asked Twilight.
"Sure."
THUD!
Rainbow Dash stopped mid flight. Twilight, who had less experience, ended up crashing into a cloud trying to stop mid flight. She pulled herself and Spike out of the cloud and flew over to Rainbow Dash.
"I heard you're pretty fast!" Said Twilight.
"Pretty fast? Please! I'm even faster than that!" Said Rainbow with a cocky smile.
"Okay, so, um, hey, you want to race?" Asked Twilight.
"Um, that wouldn't really be fair. I mean, you're a full grown pony, and…" Rainbow Dash looked over Twilight and noticed her horn and her wings. "... Wait, are you an alicorn?!
"Come on, I thought you were fast!" Said Twilight.
"Uh, actually, I just remembered I have somewhere I need to be."
Rainbow Dash slowly flew backwards, then flew away quickly. Desperate to get her to do the sonic rainboom, Twilight flew after her. Flying so fast that Spike slipped off her back and had to hold onto her tail yet again, Twilight managed to catch up to Rainbow Dash.
"Okay, listen. You don't have to race me. I just need you to fly fast enough for a sonic rainboom!" Said Twilight.
"What?! I can't do that! Nopony can! It's not even a real thing! It's just an old mare's tale!" Said Rainbow.
"But it's not! I know it's not! I've seen you do it in the future!"
"Ooookay… I'm gonna go now."
Disconcerted by Twilight's behavior, Rainbow Dash flew even faster to get away from her.
"No! Wait!" Shouted Twilight desperately.
Twilight's plea for Rainbow Dash to stop fell on deaf ears. Her future friend flew out of sight. As she sighed out of despair, she heard the sounds of a masculine scream steadily getting louder.
"Ahhhh!"
WHAM!
Suddenly, she felt something heavy fall on top of her. The impact caused her to fall several feet before she managed to stop herself. She looked on her back and saw Deadpool. He held onto her with an iron grip.
"This is the THIRD time I fell from the sky in ONE chapter! I wish the author made me a pegasus!" Said Deadpool.
(But then we would be even more overpowered than we already are.)
"I suppose you have a point," Said Deadpool to himself.
"Wade? Where did you come from?" Asked Twilight.
"From a portal above you. Starlight got sick of me, so she teleported me to you and Spike. Speaking of, where is the little guy?"
"Underneath you."
Deadpool heard a muffled voice coming from underneath him. He stood up and found Spike, who he had crushed under his body weight. He grabbed him and placed him on top of his shoulders.
"Sorry about that, Spike. At least you get to be on the top of this weird-ass stack we have made to ensure no one falls to their death," Said Deadpool.
"Yeah, great," Said Spike sarcastically.
Just then, Starlight appeared in front of the group, levitating with the use of her magic. She was rubbing her temples with her hooves.
"Wade did NOT stop talking for three minutes! Now that I say it out loud, it doesn't sound that bad. But you should have been there! Yammering on and on about pointless subjects without stopping to take a breath once! How have you not lost your mind from constantly listening to him?!" Asked Starlight.
"Honestly, I've been around him long enough that I subconsciously drown out most of the things he says. Uh, sorry, hun," Said Twilight to Deadpool.
"It's fine. I know you pay attention when I really need you to," Said Deadpool.
(Unlike you when you drowned out most of her lecture.)
"Shut up!" Shouted Deadpool under his breath.
"Anyway, it seems like you couldn't convince Rainbow Dash to do the impossible. That's too bad," Said Starlight mockingly.
"Why you vindictive-"
Before Deadpool could finish his sentence, a time portal opened up above him, sucking him, Twilight and Spike into it. After traveling through time, the group exited through the portal and fell on top of the Cutie Map. As they painfully got up, the portal closed.
"Ugh. Well, that didn't work," Said Spike.
"This is gonna be harder than I thought. We will have to try again," Said Twilight.
As she pulled out Star Swirl's spell to examine it, Deadpool looked at the cutie map. Unlike the last time he saw the Cutie Map, the land of Equestria looked pale green in color. He then looked at his surroundings. All around them were large trees. Vines hung from their branches, and the canopy prevented light from penetrating to the forest floor. Suddenly, the sound of rustling leaves caught his attention. He looked up, and saw six pairs of eyes poking up from the underbrush.
"Uh, Twilight?" Said Deadpool nervously.
"I do not want us to live in that awful future we saw," Said Twilight.
"I don't think we'll have to!" Said Deadpool.
CLINK! CLINK CLINK!
The sharpened end of spears were aimed at the group. The shock from being at spear-point caused Twilight to drop the scroll. Looking towards the spears, they saw they were held by six ponies. They recognized them as being residents of Ponyville, but they were covered in mud and a green substance that looked like face and body paint. Of the six ponies, they recognized two in particular, Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy.
"Pinkie? Fluttershy?" Said Twilight.
In response to her talking, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie and the rest of the ponies brought the tips of their spears closer to Twilight, Deadpool and Spike's necks.
"Silence, changeling!" Demanded Pinkie.
"All servants of Queen Chrysalis and traitors found in these woods must be destroyed!" Said Fluttershy.
With the thought of being destroyed-
(KILLED! This story is rated M! We do not have to use cartoon censorship words!)
Right… With the thought of being killed, Twilight gulped out of fear. She, Deadpool, and Spike exchanged nervous glances with each other as their friends and the rest of the ponies brought their spears closer.
To be continued…
Hey everyone! I hope you all enjoyed part one of the last chapter of the season five arc of "Deadpool: Mercenary of Harmony", centered around the season finale episode "The Cutie Re-Mark"! I greatly apologize for how long this took to post. I have been kept busy with college, and I had not been doing a good job with giving myself some free time, so I ended up not spending as much time writing as I wanted too. I also decided to post part one instead of waiting to post parts one and two because I felt like I should post something after three months of no new chapters. With that, let us move on to the big question. Will Deadpool, Twilight and Spike be able to restore the timeline, or will Starlight Glimmer's actions alter the timeline permanently? Thank you all for your patience, and until next time, this has been ThePhantomArchives, and I hope you all have a fantastic day.