Deadpool, Twilight Sparkle, Starlight Glimmer, and Spike were all riding the Friendship Express. The train was traveling to the Crystal Empire. Looking out the window to her left, Twilight saw the crystalline kingdom in the distance.
"I hope Shining Armor and Princess Cadance don't think it's too soon for me to come back to the Crystal Empire for a visit. But I just know Flurry Heart's grown so much already. I wonder if I'll even recognize her," Pondered Twilight.
Smirking from what her mentor had to say, Starlight set a book she was reading down in order to speak to her. She saw that Twilight had her ears up, as if she was trying to hear something.
"She's the only baby they have, Twilight. I think it'll be pretty easy to figure out who she is," Said Starlight.
Once again, she saw Twilight trying to listen for something, but this time she looked towards Deadpool, who was sitting across from her, reading a scroll. Her mentor quietly muttered "huh?" Whether it was because of what she said or perhaps because of what Deadpool was doing, she wasn't sure. Starlight decided to set her book down in the spot next to her.
"Sorry. I know you want to visit your niece as much as possible, and I'm excited to see Sunburst again. I just don't wanna fall behind on my friendship lessons back home," Said Starlight.
"Starlight, your work in Ponyville isn't going anywhere. Besides, I think we all know you can learn about friendship anywhere. Right, Spike?" Asked Twilight.
Twilight leaned over to look at the seat on the opposite side of the aisle. She saw Spike was wearing a brown trenchcoat, gray fedora, and red sunglasses. He was also reading a newspaper, and a small silver handbag rested on the spot next to him.
"'Spike?' Who's 'Spike?'" Asked Spike in a deep voice.
Twilight looked at Deadpool with a perplexed look on her face.
"Pfft Uh, you're Spike, Spike. And why are you dressed like that?" Asked Starlight.
With a groan, Spike tossed the newspaper aside.
"Guys' you're blowing my cover! How'd you even know it was me?" Asked Spike as he walked over to where his friends were sitting.
"Because you're you… in a coat, hat, and glasses. Also, we're the only ones here," Said Starlight.
Looking around, Spike saw that they indeed were the only ones in the passenger car.
"Right," Said Spike in realization.
"Spike, why do you need a disguise?" Said Twilight.
Twilight looked at Deadpool again, seeing that her coltfriend was still looking at the scroll he was reading.
"Seriously?" Said Twilight confusedly.
Spike removed the sunglasses off of his face.
"Last time we came to the Crystal Empire, there was a lot goin' on with the new baby and the Crystalling, but I still, got mobbed in the street," Explained Spike as he put his sunglasses back on.
"I wouldn't say mobbed," Said Starlight with a wry smile.
"And this is just a family visit. I wouldn't want the presence of Spike the Brave and Glorious to turn it into some kind of circus," Said Spike egotistically.
"We get it. The Crystal Ponies adore you," Said Starlight with an eye roll.
"He did save the Crystal Empire. Twice. But still, I don't think your presence will turn our visit into a circus," Said Twilight.
"Not if I find the right disguise, it won't," Said Spike.
Looking back at her assistant, Twilight saw to her surprise that Spike added a large orange wig to his disguise. She then looked at Deadpool again. Like the last couple of times, he was still reading the scroll.
"Really, Wade? No snarky or delusional comment?" Asked Twilight exasperatedly.
Her coltfriend wasn't paying attention. He seemed fixated on what he was reading.
"Wade!" Shouted Twilight.
"Wha!" Said Deadpool in shock.
"Wade, are you alright?" Asked Twilight. "You haven't spoken during the entire train ride!"
"Why would you end that?" Asked Starlight in a hushed voice.
"Sorry, Twi. I just can't stop thinking about this royal summons," Said Deadpool.
He turned the scroll to have its contents facing Twilight. It was formally written, asking for him to come to the Crystal Empire urgently. On the bottom right corner were Princess Cadance and Shining Armor's signatures.
"Did they find out I stole a crystal towel rack when we visited the baby?" Asked Deadpool to himself.
"What?" Asked Twilight.
"Nothing! I don't know where that money came from?!" Said Deadpool manically.
"Okay… What's the problem, Wade?" Asked Twilight.
"Well, the last time I was summoned to see one of the princesses, I was hired to protect Celestia from an attempt on her life by Crossbones in chapter ten. Do you think somepony's planning to hurt Cadance and Flurry Heart?" Asked Deadpool worriedly.
"And Shining Armor?" Added Twilight.
"...Yeah," Said Deadpool in defeat.
"Wade, I'm sure they're alright. They probably just need help with something that requires your… expertise," Said Twilight optimistically.
"Well, considering what I'm good at, I feel sorry for the poor soul who crossed them. But you're probably right. They're probably safe, considering the fact Flurry Heart nearly destroyed the entire Empire after only being alive for a few… days? Weeks? Eh, for somepony who's been alive for a short period of time," Said Deadpool.
"See? They probably just need help with subduing a dangerous creature or serve as added security for something important," Theorized Twilight.
"Celestia, hopefully it's not a fucking Wendigo...!" Said Deadpool fearfully.
"A Wendigo?" Questioned Twilight.
"The cannibalistic creatures, not the ghosts that show up during conflict," Clarified Deadpool.
"Oh!" Said Twilight.
"Thanks, Twilight. I really needed to hear that," Said Deadpool gratefully.
"You're welcome, Wade," Replied Twilight.
"Oh, and one more thing…" Deadpool took a deep breath, and… "Unless somepony like Mystique or Chrysalis disguised themselves as her, you should be able to recognize your own niece, Twilight. Flurry is the only baby Cadance and Shining Armor have… for now. Spike, I see you're deepening your voice like Batman. The joke's on you, I'm Batman! Twilight, Spike needs a disguise because he's a sussy imposter. And Spike, considering the fact the writers of the show forgot to have any scenes showing how the girl's getting distracted by their own desires was affecting you in 'The Best Night Ever', the Crystal Ponies will probably not notice you're there."
Deadpool's bantering was so fast, that it took his friends a few seconds to process everything he just said.
"I feel like I should be insulted, but considering the fact I have no idea what you're talking about, I'm going to let it slide," Said Spike.
"You regret getting him to talk?" Asked Starlight in a hushed voice.
"So much… I should've left it be. I should've taken his silence as an omen and enjoyed the rest of the ride," Said Twilight regretfully.
A few minutes later…
Deadpool, Twilight, Starlight, and Spike were all standing outside of the Crystal Empire train station. To their surprise, the train station and the surrounding streets were not crowded by ponies. They were entirely devoid of life.
"Uh, disguise or not, Spike, I don't think you need to worry about being mobbed. Nopony's here," Said Starlight, gesturing towards the barren streets.
"Nothing except the overused tumbleweed trope," Said Deadpool while pointing at a tumbleweed.
"It's like a ghost town," Said Spike.
"50,000 ponies lived in the Crystal Empire?" Asked Deadpool.
"I've got a bad feeling about this," Said Twilight.
"(Chuckles) I love Star Wars," Said Deadpool happily.
(Shut! Up!)
The group of ponies started making their way to the Crystal Castle. As they made their way to the castle, they tried to see if they could spot anyone. After a few minutes of walking, they didn't find any of the Empire's residents.
"Yeah, this is weird," Said Starlight.
"I guess I don't need the disguise after all," Said Spike.
Spike removed his wig, fedora, sunglasses, and trenchcoat. As soon as he shed his disguise, a crowd of Crystal Ponies swarmed him and his friends.
"It's Spike the Brave and Glorious!" Cried a mare.
"He's come to save us yet again!" Cheered another mare.
"Spike! Spike! Spike! Spike!"
Spike found himself lifted up and tossed into the air by the crowd in celebration, as they cheered and chanted his name. Seeing his friend getting all of the praise left Deadpool feeling irritated, as evidenced by the fact that he crossed his forelegs and pouted.
"I wish I was praised as much as Spike does when he comes here," Pouted Deadpool.
"Wade, if everyone cheered for you all the time, then it wouldn't be as special," Reasoned Twilight.
"... Okay," Said Deadpool with a shrug of his shoulders, his mood returning to normal.
As the Crystal Ponies continued to cheer, Spike was left confused by what he had heard one of them say.
"Save you from what?" Asked Spike.
"Yeah, what's going on?" Asked Starlight.
"Why was everypony hiding?" Asked Twilight.
Looking at Twilight and Starlight, a couple of the Crystal Ponies suddenly seemed nervous.
"Oh, it sure looks like Princess Twilight, her pupil, and her coltfriend," Said a mare.
"But how can we be sure?" Asked a mare standing next to her.
"We can't! Either one of them could be the… you know!" Said a stallion.
ZIP!
The stallion quickly ran off. The mare who first spoke then gasped in realization.
"What if this isn't the real Spike?!" Pondered the mare fearfully.
"Everypony, run!"
ZIP!
Suddenly, the entire crowd of Crystal Ponies ran away, causing Spike to land on the ground face first.
"Okay, something strange is definitely going on," Said Twilight.
"(Groan) Ya think?" Asked Spike while rubbing his forehead in pain.
A few minutes later…
After traveling farther into the Empire, the group finally arrived at the Crystal Castle. Standing guard at the castle's entrance were two royal guards. Before they could get any further, one of the royal guards stopped them with an outstretched foreleg.
"Who goes there?" Asked the royal guard.
"Um, you don't recognize the Princess of Friendship?" Asked Starlight while pointing at her mentor.
"Or the greatest superhero of all time?" Asked Deadpool while pointing at… himself.
"Of course we recognize her," Said the royal guard.
"But that doesn't mean it's really her," Added the other guard.
"And I'm being ignored. Why do ponies ignore me?" Asked Deadpool.
(Honestly, considering how big your mouth is, I'm surprised that anypony can ignore you.)
"Shut the fuck up," Muttered Deadpool irritatedly.
"It's okay, guys. They're with me. And any friend of Spike the Brave and Glorious is a friend of the Crystal Empire, am I right?" Asked Spike boastfully.
"Huh. It does look like him," Said the other royal guard.
"Well, it would, wouldn't it?" Said the first guard skeptically. "I'm sorry, but we'll need to see some proof of identification."
"We'll take care of things from here."
Hearing a familiar voice, the group smiled when they saw Princess Cadance walking towards them. She was accompanied by Shining Armor, who was wearing his royal guard uniform, Sunburst, and Flurry Heart who was being carried by her Crystaller in a cradle.
"Oh, Cadance, thank goodness!" Said Twilight in relief. "What's going on?"
"We can explain, Twily… if it really is you," Said Shining Armor.
Both Shining and his wife looked at each other and nodded to each other. Cadance walked over to Twilight, and began her test.
"Sunshine sunshine…"
"...Ladybugs awake!"
"Clap your hooves and do a little shake!"
Confirming Twilight's identity through their "Sunshine Sunshine" dance, Cadance and her sister-in-law embraced each other in a hug.
"It's okay, everypony. It's her," Said Shining.
The guards relaxed, and Sunburst walked over to the group with Flurry, who was drinking from a bubba.
"Okay, now it's my turn," Said Deadpool.
Deadpool pulled out one of his Desert Eagle pistols, and aimed at his head.
"No no no!" Cried everypony.
Twilight used her magic to keep Deadpool from pressing the trigger..
"We believe it's you, Wade! You're the only one insane enough to shoot yourself to prove your identity," Said Shining Armor.
"Nice to see you possess some sort of deduction skills, Shining. Maybe if you work hard enough, you could be Batpony," Said Deadpool mockingly.
"On second thought, maybe I should have allowed you to shoot yourself," Said Shining Armor irritatedly.
"That's enough, gentlecolts. We have greater things to focus on," Said Cadance, separating the stallions from each other.
"Can somepony please explain what all of this is about?" Asked Starlight as she walked over to Sunburst.
"Well, you see, it all started when Shining decided to shank me," Said Deadpool.
"Not your feud with Twilight's brother. I mean why was everypony in the Empire suspicious of us?" Asked Starlight.
"A changeling's been spotted nearby," Explained Sunburst.
"A changeling?!" Cried Twilight and Deadpool in shock.
"That's not good," Said Spike.
"No, it's not. After Queen Chrysalis took my place at our wedding and invaded Canterlot with her army of minions, we're not taking chances," Said Cadance.
"Changelings feed off of love. And ever since Flurry Heart's Crystalling, the Empire is filled with more love than anywhere in Equestria. It's possible they've come for the baby," Reasoned Sunburst.
"That's why we posted the extra guards, and why we're-"
"Checking everypony's identity," Said Twilight, cutting off her brother.
"I'm sorry for all of this," Apologized Cadance sincerely. "Flurry Heart's really been looking forward to seeing you."
Flurry Heart cooed in delight upon seeing her aunt. Twilight's fear and anxiety for her niece's safety washed away upon seeing how happy she was.
"Oh, she's gotten so big! Starlight, Wade and I will do whatever we can to help protect her," Said Twilight determinedly.
"Hell yeah we will," Said Deadpool while cocking a shotgun.
"Wade, please put your gun away. Don't think Shining and I forgot what happened when you last used one here," Said Cadance sternly.
"Okay…" Said Deadpool.
Deadpool made his shotgun mysteriously disappear. This made Cadance feel better.
"To be honest, having you all here is already a big relief," Said Cadance.
"We were hoping that while you, Twilight, help protect Flurry, Wade would go with our guards to find the changeling and take care of them," Explained Shining Armor.
"Um, when you say 'take care of them', do you mean capture them or kill them?" Asked Deadpool. "I would hate to make false assumptions."
"No killing. We just want to capture and question them. If Chrysalis is planning to invade the Empire and kidnap Flurry, we need to be able to know about it, so we can take the actions necessary to protect her and the rest of the citizens," Explained Shining.
"Well, now I know why you summoned me here. So, you and I are going to go on a changeling hunt, Shining?" Asked Deadpool.
After Deadpool asked if they were teaming up, Shining Armor's pupils dilated out of fear.
"I, uh, actually I was planning on having you and Spike search for the changeling together," Said Shining Armor nervously.
"Really?!" Asked Spike eagerly.
"Uh, I don't know if that's such a good idea, Spike. It sounds dangerous," Said Twilight worriedly. Oblivious to her brother's motives.
"It also sounds like an excuse to stay away from me," Added Deadpool.
(Can't say I blame him.)
"Come on, Twilight, this is Spike the Brave and Glorious you're talking to. Have you ever known me to run from danger?" Asked Spike arrogantly.
"Let's see. There's the time you ran from a dragon whose gems you ate. You also ran away when Fluttershy turned into a fruit vampire bat/pony hybrid. Oh, and I have a vivid memory of chasing you around the castle last week after you ate my cookie," Said Deadpool, his teeth clenching in anger as he gave his last example.
Spike crossed his arms out of irritation.
"It's not my fault you didn't label the bag it was in," Muttered Spike irritatedly.
"It was clearly labeled! I wrote my initials in Sharpie on the plastic bag!" Countered Deadpool angrily.
Slightly amused by Spike and Deadpool's bickering, Twilight rolled her eyes.
A little while later…
Deadpool and Spike were leading a small squad of royal guards in the Arctic Wastes outside the Crystal Empire. Even though the frigid temperature was bearing down on them, they searched intensively for the changeling.
"Wade Wilson. Spike the Brave and Glorious. You've both faced the evil changelings before. What can you tell us?" Asked a royal guard.
"Oh, uh, well-"
"Hold up, Spike," Said Deadpool. Abruptly cutting off Spike. "You should let me answer this one. After all, I actually fought the changelings while you were trapped in their snot goo stuff."
"Sounds like you're just jealous that I'm seen as a hero by the Crystal Ponies instead of you," Said Spike teasingly.
"What?! Me? Jealous? Pfft! Since when have I ever been jealous?" Asked Deadpool arrogantly.
"There was the time you were jealous of a stallion named Flash Sentry when Twilight mentioned he was cute. There was also the time you were jealous that Flurry Heart wanted to be held by Sunburst instead of you. Oh, and just last week, you were jealous that Twilight paid for my new comic books instead of yours," Said Spike.
"... I hate you," Deadpanned Deadpool.
Deadpool and Spike looked towards the royal guards, and saw that they were waiting patiently for them to give orders. Both of them smiled sheepishly before the masked stallion spoke.
"The changeling most likely can't be out in the elements for long periods of time like us. If we can find some sort of camp or perhaps a natural structure such as a cave, we'll most likely find them there. We'll split into groups of two, so the changeling can't pick one of us off and take their place," Said Deadpool.
All of the guards nodded their heads in understanding.
"You two go search the area to my right. You two search the opposite side. And you two in the back, search the immediate area we just traveled from to see if we were being followed. I'll take Spike with me northbound, and we'll all meet back here in ten minutes so we don't freeze our asses off. Any questions?" Asked Deadpool.
One of the guards towards the back of the squad raised their hoof. Deadpool pointed towards him.
"Don't you mean Spike the Brave and Glorious?" Asked the guard.
"... Just go look for the changeling," Said Deadpool irritatedly.
All of the guards saluted to Deadpool, then went to search for the changeling in their assigned areas.
"I'm going to check behind that small hill over there, then we'll do our patrol. In the meantime, just wait here," Said Deadpool.
Walking towards the hill, Deadpool disappeared out of sight. Spike was left alone in the barren land of ice and snow.
"I'll… just search… here. I guess," Said Spike.
Hearing the sound of running water, Spike tried to find the source. Finding that the sound was coming from behind the hill Deadpool went to, Spike feared that he may know what it was.
"Wade, are you peeing?" Asked Spike hesitantly
"No… Unrelated note: if you come across yellow snow, remember to not eat it. I learned the hard way when I was six," Shouted Deadpool from behind the hill.
Gagging out of disgust, Spike left Deadpool to his own devices.
"Not many places to hide. Unless that rock is a changeling," Said Spike.
Spike walked over to a rock as tall as he is, the top of it covered in snow. Part of the base of the rock had a noticeable crack in it.
"Okay, rock. How do I know you're really a rock?" Asked Spike. No sound came from the rock. "Hmm. Not talkin' huh? Well, you can't fool me!"
Spike kicked the rock, then fell on his back. Instead of landing on the snow covered ground, Spike found to his surprise that he fell through the snow, and began sliding down a snowy tunnel. The kick he delivered caused the top half of the rock to come loose and slid into the tunnel as well.
"Ahh!"
Spike slid down the tunnel quickly, the rock rolling a few feet behind him. Before he knew it, he saw an ice stalagmite in front of him, and slid into it.
THUD!
Hearing the rock roll past him, Spike looked ahead, and saw it falling into a chasm. The stalagmite he slid into saved him from falling to his presumed death.
"Phew!" Grateful to be alive, Spike kissed the cold stalagmite. "Okay. Maybe it's time Spike the Brave and Glorious to, uh, protect Wade."
Spike carefully got onto his feet, and examined his surroundings. He saw he was in an underground cavern. Every surface was covered in snow.
"Gah!"
Spike was startled by something that was in front of him.
"Oh, just my reflection," Said Spike.
Looking at his reflection, Spike then turned around to find his way out of the cavern. He thought he saw from the corner of his eye that his reflection was standing perfectly in place.
"Huh?"
Turning around, he saw that his reflection was perfectly matching the inquisitive look on his face. Spike placed his claws onto the reflective surface in front of him, his reflection doing the same. He then jumped to the side, his reflection doing the same. He then walked back, looking intensively at his reflection. He then jumped in the air and made a silly face, his reflection doing the same.
"Just my imagination, I guess," Said Spike.
As Spike walked away, he heard the sound of someone slipping behind him. He looked back and saw that his reflection was wiping snow off of itself. It then looked at him, a shocked expression appearing on its face. A green fire enveloped it, then disappeared, revealing a changeling!
"Ahhhhh! Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-changeling!" Cried Spike fearfully.
Spike fell into his rump out of fright. The changeling looked at him inquisitively. Spike swiftly got back up and ran away.
"No, wait! Come back!" Pleaded the changeling.
As he ran away, Spike looked back to see if the changeling was following him.
THUD!
Not looking where he was going, Spike ran into the icy stalagmite. Left disoriented from the impact, he accidentally stepped and fell into the chasm.
"Ahhh!"
As he fell down the chasm, Spike covered his eyes, embracing himself for his imminent doom. He suddenly stopped, yet he was still alive. He uncovered his eyes and looked up. He saw the changeling he ran away from, holding him by the tail with his mouth.
"This is unexpected," Said Spike.
The changeling gently flew upwards, then placed Spike on the ground next to the chasm.
"The ice is pretty slippery. I wouldn't want you to get hurt because of me," Said the changeling.
"You… saved me?" Asked Spike.
"It's okay. I know you don't wanna be friends," Said the changeling glumly.
As he was about to fly away, he heard Spike say…
"Wait!"
Hearing Spike telling them to wait, the changeling flew back to him.
"I don't understand. Changelings are supposed to be evil… right?" Asked Spike.
"Evil? Oh, not me. All I've ever wanted is a friend," Admitted the changeling. "From the moment I first split my egg in the nursery hive, all I ever wanted was somebody to bond with. But… the other changelings were not so keen on being friends. Not even my own brother. I was part of the attack on Canterlot during the royal wedding, but I'd never seen true friendship like those seven ponies had! And I couldn't just steal it and feed off of its love. I wanted to share it! After that, I knew I couldn't live with my kind anymore. I set off looking for love to share, but…"
"But… what?" Asked Spike.
"I'm starving! And there's so much love in the Crystal Empire right now. It's what drew me here! But it's drivin' me crazy!" Said the changeling, shaking intensely.
"That would be from the royal Crystalling. It's pretty much a giant outpouring of light and love for a new baby," Informed Spike.
HISS!
Suddenly, the changeling hissed like a feral animal, his serpentine like tongue flailing about. Startled by his act of aggression, Spike shook out of fear.
"Oh, sorry!" Realizing he was scaring him, the changeling covered his mouth sheepishly. "I'm just so hungry! If I had a friend, maybe the love we shared could sustain me, but I don't think the Crystal Ponies want to be friends."
Thinking hard on how to help him make friends with the residents of the Crystal Empire, Spike tried to come up with an idea. Thankfully, it didn't take him long to come up with one.
"What if I told you there was somepony they respect and admire so much, he could convince them to give it a try?" Asked Spike.
"If only that were true," Replied the changeling.
"It is! I mean, I am! It's me, Spike!" Clarified Spike eagerly.
The changeling looked at Spike with a confused glance.
"Spike the Brave and Glorious? I'm sure you've heard of me," Said Spike.
"Nope. But I was raised by an evil queen. I'm Thorax. I can't believe you want to help me," Said Thorax in happy disbelief.
"Why? Hasn't anypony ever just been nice to you?" Asked Spike naively.
HISS!
Spike acting kind to him caused Thorax's instincts to act up again, causing Spike to tumble onto the snowy ground out of fright. As he got up, wiping some snow off of his shoulder, Thorax pulled himself together.
"Uh! S-Sorry! Kindness like that kind of brings it out. Do you still wanna be my friend?" Asked Thorax.
"Of course! And I am one hundred percent sure I can get the whole Crystal Empire to be your friend too," Assured Spike.
HISS!
Yet again, Thorax's instincts acted up, startling Spike.
"Look out!"
Hearing a voice, Spike looked towards his left. Seeing the tunnel he slid down, a red and black blur appeared and went straight into the ice stalagmite.
THUD!
Spike quickly realized that the blur was Deadpool. Especially since he was saying profanities under his breath.
"Ow! Clearly my belly whopper skills need some improvement. Now, where did that scaly serpent wind up?" Asked Deadpool.
Feeling somebody looking at him, Deadpool looked to his right. He saw two things: Spike, and Thorax who was hissing at him still.
"Spike! Don't worry little dude, I'll save ya!" Assured Deadpool.
Not knowing why Thorax was acting the way he was, Deadpool pulled out one of his katanas, and made a mad gallop towards him. Seeing the masked vigilante snapped Thorax back to his senses, but he found his legs were locked up out of fear. Before Deadpool could deliver a surely lethal blow, Spike shielded his new friend with his body.
"Wade, wait!" Pleaded Spike.
"Spike?!"
Deadpool, came to a sudden stop to avoid impaling Spike. Confused, Deadpool grabbed Spike by the top of his head and brought him up to eye level.
"You know the changeling's supposed to be the one in front of my blade, not you, right?" Asked Deadpool.
"Wade, I know what this looks like, but hear me out," Pleaded Spike.
"... You have thirty seconds, then the bug's head comes off," Said Deadpool.
Setting Spike down, Deadpool reluctantly lowered his weapon. He still kept a tight grip on it, though.
"Aren't you supposed to not kill people anymore?" Asked Spike.
"Spike, I may have been trying to refrain from doing that anymore, but the one self-imposed rule to that order is that if any of my friends' lives are in peril, all of my limited self-restraint goes out the window. When it comes to the safety of you and the rest of our friends, I don't fuck around. You have 15 seconds now," Said Deadpool.
"Thorax here is a nice changeling. He didn't want to be part of Chrysalis' tyranny anymore, so he tried to find new friends in the Empire. So I am going to try to use my status as the local hero to try to help convince them to try to be friends with him," Explained Spike.
(Spike went over by half a second. Let's exterminate the cockroach!)
"Spike, it's great that you're compassionate towards others. Really, it is, but how do you know that he's not trying to trick you into bringing him into the Crystal Empire, so he can feed off of everyone's love. Or try to find weaknesses in the defenses, so Chrysalis and her army can invade the Empire like they did in Canterlot?" Asked Deadpool.
"I… suppose I can't fully know. But I'm willing to give him a chance. Does that sound familiar to you?" Asked Spike.
"Don't throw the resolution of chapter one at me," Said Deadpool dryly. "But I understand what you're saying. However…"
Deadpool walked over to Thorax and grabbed him by the neck. He then brought their faces close to each other, looking deep into Thorax's soul.
"Look straight into my fabric covered eyes, and tell me you don't wish to bring any harm onto Spike or anyone in the Crystal Empire," Said Deadpool threateningly.
"I don't wish to bring any harm! Really! All I want is to make some friends!" Said Thorax timidly.
"... Alright then," Said Deadpool.
He let go of Thorax, causing him to fall onto his rump.
"Spike and the rest of his friends gave me a chance, so it's only fair I do the same with you. Besides I think you know what would happen if you lied to us," Said Deadpool while stroking the blade of his katana.
(Aw… I was hoping to spill blood.)
(Jesus Christ! We may not be afraid to kill people, but we're not unreasonable.)
"So, how do you intend on helping…" Said Deadpool, trying to remember Thorax's name.
"Thorax," Replied Thorax.
"Thorax here, make friends?" Asked Deadpool. "Changelings are not exactly a popular bunch."
"That's why I was hoping to talk to the Crystal Empire's residents. Especially Princess Cadance and Shining Armor," Replied Spike.
"Diplomacy. Sure. It's not fun at all, but I suppose it is the more civilized approach," Said Deadpool.
A little while later…
Spike returned to the Crystal Castle. He was in the palace's throne room with the royal guards that accompanied him and Deadpool. He was trying to convince them that he befriended Thorax.
"What do you mean? Did you see the changeling?" Asked a guard.
"Did you defeat the evil creature?" Asked another guard.
"Defeating a changeling would be brave, but do you know what would be glorious?" Asked Spike smugly.
"Defeating two changelings?" Guessed the first guard.
"Defeating all the changelings?" Guessed the second guard.
"Not having to fight the changeling at all!" Answered Spike. "Because I made friends with him."
…
"HA HA!"
All of the guards laughed hysterically, finding what Spike said amusing.
"Oh, wow! For a second I thought you were serious!" Said the first guard.
"(Laughing) Could you imagine? Friends with a changeling?" Said the second guard rhetorically.
"I am serious. He wants to be friends!" Insisted Spike.
"Right!" Snickered the second guard.
"Not only are you Spike the Brave and Glorious, you're also Spike the Hilarious!" Said the first guard.
"I'm not joking! The changeling is nice!" Said Spike frustratedly.
"I'm sorry, but I don't think it's funny."
Hearing a stern and familiar voice, everyone looked towards the entrance to the throne room. Shining Armor was there, giving the guards and Spike a look that matched the tone of his voice. All of the guards stood in proper formation, their laughter ceased.
"The Changeling Queen Chrysalis kidnapped Cadance and cast a spell on me, the same spell she used on Wade, so he would kill Princess Celestia. Chrysalis also kidnapped our sister, and sent her army to invade and round up the citizens of Canterlot, so they could be used as food," Said Shining Armor angrily.
Shining Armor walked over to Spike.
"So as far as I am concerned, there's no such thing as a nice changeling," Said Shining Armor insularly.
"You're right, Shining Armor. Sorry. That was a… bad joke," Said Spike in defeat.
After Spike apologized to him, Shining Armor's smile returned. He tousled his younger brother's head crest affectionately.
"It's alright, Spike. By the way, have you seen Wade anywhere? He's not causing trouble, is he?" Asked Shining Armor annoyedly.
Spike tapped two of his fingers together anxiously.
"I think I have an idea of where he is," Said Spike nervously.
A little while later…
In the icy cavern, Deadpool and Thorax were playing Blackjack, the former teaching the latter how to play.
"So all cards with a pony on it are worth 10?" Asked Thorax.
"Yes," Replied Deadpool.
Thorax placed a Jack on top of an eight, ace, and two card, giving him a total face value of 21.
"Yes, I won!" Said Thorax enthusiastically.
"... This is why I'm not allowed to gamble," Said Deadpool exasperatedly. "Good job, Thorax."
"Thanks," Said Thorax happily.
Just as they finished their game, Spike entered the cavern through the snowy tunnel. Believing he came bearing good news, Thorax eagerly flew over to him.
"So? So? Uh, what did they say? How many new friends do I have?" Asked Thorax excitedly.
"Well, it didn't go exactly the way I thought," Admitted Spike glumly.
"Let me guess, nopony has gotten over the Canterot invasion?" Guessed Deadpool.
"Yup," Replied Spike.
Disappointed by the news he received, Thorax's ears drooped.
"I understand," Said Thorax disappointingly. "Well, thanks for trying. I-I guess it's not surprising. How can you expect ponies who look like this…"
Thorax changed his appearance. He turned into a Crystal Pony stallion with a baby blue coat, short darker blue mane and tail, teal eyes and matching colored mane band, and an ornate vase cutie mark.
"... to trust something that looks like this?" Said Thorax, reverting to his true form.
Seeing Thorax change his appearance, Spike came up with an idea.
"I think I might know!" Said Spike.
Thorax cocked his head to the right, curious as to what his new friend came up with.
A little while later…
Two members of the Royal Guard were conducting their routine patrol in one of the Crystal Castle's hallways. Once they left the hallway, a door opened up. Both Spike and Deadpool's heads poked out from behind the door. Surveying their surroundings, they found the hallway to be vacant. Entering the hallway, Spike signaled to someone to come in. Thorax in his Crystal Pony disguise nervously entered the hallway.
"Spike! Wade!"
Hearing Twilight's voice, Spike, Deadpool, and Thorax froze in fear. Twilight walked over to them.
"Have you two had any luck finding the changeling?" Asked Twilight.
"Nope!" Blurted Deadpool while walking over to Twilight. "Found nothing but ice and snow."
"That's alright. Shining Armor will be leading a patrol later. Hopefully, they will have better luck," Said Twilight.
(How much do you want to bet Shining Armor's field of view is as short as his dick?)
"Spike, if you're free, Starlight and I could use your help. We're working on a protection spell for Flurry Heart, and nopony takes notes like you do," Said Twilight.
"Uh, actually, Twilight, I, uh, wanted to introduce you to my friend, uh…" Spiked looked at Deadpool, who was discreetly showing a flashcard that read "Crystal Ceramic". "Crystal Ceramic! My good friend, Crystal Ceramic. He's a potter's assistant here in the Crystal Empire."
"Nice to meet you," Said Thorax timidly.
"Oh. Well, it's, uh, nice to meet you too," Said Twilight, shaking hooves with Thorax. "How do you know Spike?"
"Oh, uh, Spike and I go way back," Said Thorax nervously.
Deadpool discreetly showed another flashcard with the words, "Equestria Games" on it.
"To the Equestria Games!" Blurted Spike. "That's when we met. We've been pen pals ever since."
"Pen pals? Spike! You could have been using my pen pal quill set! Why didn't you tell me?" Asked Twilight.
"Well, I… I had my own quill, and I didn't want to bother you about something so trivial," Said Spike.
"Spike, nothing you ever say is trivial to me. If you need something from me, I'll always do my best to lend you a hoof," Assured Twilight. "I'm sure Wade won't mind helping me and Starlight if you want to spend time with your friend."
"Uh, you don't need me! I can barely speak Ponish, yet along write it!" Said Deadpool, trying to weasel his way out.
"Wade, I've seen your hoof writing. Your penmanship is remarkable," Said Twilight.
"... It is," Admitted Deadpool.
"I wish you would use your exquisite writing skills to help me create a spell. I'd hate for it to turn out sloppy," Said Twilight flirtatiously.
"Are you trying to seduce me into taking notes for you?" Asked Deadpool.
"Yes," Replied Twilight with a smile.
"Well, it worked. Let's go," Said Deadpool.
Taking Twilight's hoof in his, the couple walked down the hallway. Once they were out of sight, Spike and Thorax sighed in relief.
"Oh, that was amazing!" Said Thorax excitedly, coming down from an adrenaline rush.
"I told ya," Said Spike.
A little while later…
Deadpool, Twilight, and Starlight were all at the Crystal Castle's private library. Starlight was looking for books to use to create a protection spell, Twilight was deciding which information to use for the creation of the spell, and Deadpool was jotting down notes.
"Alflin's Affirmation might help reveal the changeling if it got within a few feet of Flurry," Said Starlight, passing a purple leather book with her magic to Twilight.
"Yes, I believe you're right," Said Twilight.
She skimmed through the book, eventually stopping on a page towards the middle of the book.
"Wade, please write down sentences 12 through 14 on page 58," Asked Twilight politely.
"Sure thing, Twi," Said Deadpool.
After his marefriend handed him the book, Deadpool wrote down the requested sentence. He quickly looked outside of a window, wanting to see if he could spot Spike and Thorax. He saw them towards the road leading from the castle, conversing with a bunch of the Crystal Empire's residents. Seeing that Spike's plan was working, Deadpool decided to try something.
"Hey, Twi?" Said Deadpool.
"Yes, Wade?" Replied Twilight.
"Do you think we might be going overboard?" Asked Deadpool.
"Overboard? What's making you think that?" Asked Twilight in response.
"Well, it's just how can we be sure this changeling has malicious intent? Did they try to attack somepony? Have there been any disappearances recently? Did they try to break into the castle?" Asked Deadpool.
Both Twilight and Starlight passed confused glances to each other. Clearly, they were perplexed by Deadpool's questions.
"Wade, the changelings are evil. Don't you remember what happened at Canterlot?" Asked Twilight.
"Are they? Are they really evil, Twi? … Okay, I'm pretty sure Chrysalis is objectively evil. She tried to brainwash me into killing Princess Celestia, she imprisoned you and Cadance, sent brainwashed guests to presumably kill or keep you trapped, and sent her subjects to capture innocent ponies. But besides her, how do we know that the rest of the changelings are actually bad?" Asked Deadpool.
Twilight was surprised by Deadpool's sudden new outlook on changelings.
"Wade, please forgive me for asking this, but can you please prove to me that you are you?" Asked Twilight softly.
With a frustrated sigh, Deadpool rolled up the scroll he was writing notes on, and set it aside. He then rolled up the sleeve on his right foreleg, and unsheathed his KM2000 knife from the side of his right hind leg. He then made a horizontal cut on his cannon, causing it to bleed. After a few seconds, his cut healed, proving he was not a changeling.
"Thank you," Said Twilight sincerely. "Did something happen while you were out on patrol?"
"No, I'm just concerned we're doing the wrong thing. Instead of capturing the changeling on sight, shouldn't we try to befriend them? You know, Friendship is Magic and all that mumbo jumbo?" Said Deadpool.
"Wade, I understand what you're saying, and quite frankly, I'm proud of you for wanting to try to befriend them," Said Twilight with a reassuring smile. "But we can't take the risk, especially since Flurry Heart might be in danger. Do you understand?"
"Yeah…" Said Deadpool in defeat.
Deadpool grabbed the scroll and unrolled it, preparing to take more notes. Twilight looked at her coltfriend concerningly, but she made her way back to where she was sitting.
A little while later…
Spike, Thorax in his "Crystal Ceramic" disguise, and two guards were walking down the castle's halls. They were all making their way to the throne room.
"Crystal Ceramic is nearly as entertaining as Spike himself," Said a guard to his colleague in a hushed tone.
"This place is everything I've ever dreamed of! But I can't keep pretending to be a Crystal Pony, can I?" Asked Thorax quietly to Spike.
"Relax. You're winning them over. Pretty soon, nopony will care that you're a changeling," Assured Spike quietly.
Reassured by his friend, Thorax smiled.
"Spike!"
Hearing Cadance, Spike and Thorax nearly jumped out of their non-existent socks. They nervously made their way to the throne. Cadance overlooked them in front of her throne. The two guards who were accompanying Spike and Thorax stood to the right of the Princess while two additional guards were to her left. Starlight Glimmer and Twilight were also standing to her left, while Sunburst and Deadpool stood to her right, the former holding Flurry Heart in her cradle.
"Twilight told me you were off with a friend," Said Cadance to Spike, walking towards him and his friend.
Spike only replied with a nervous chuckle. While nopony was paying attention to him, Deadpool face hoofed himself.
"And any friend of Spike the Brave and Glorious is a friend of mine," Said Cadance with a smile.
She gestured towards Sunburst and Flurry Heart, giving Thorax permission to see her baby. He walked over to the cradle. Upon seeing the baby for the first time, his eyes grew wide in awe. Flurry Heart cooed, causing a smile to appear on Thorax's face. Cadance then walked over and stood next to Thorax.
"Oh, she's so beautiful!" Said Thorax.
He could feel the love that empowered the entire Crystal Empire radiating from Flurry. His natural instincts to feed off of it were nagging on his psyche, causing him to struggle to keep his disguise up. He anxiously backed away from the baby. Realizing what was happening, Spike hastily walked over to his friend and placed a hoof on his shoulder.
"Hey, Crystal Ceramic! Are you feeling okay? Do you need to step outside and get some air?" Asked Spike with a nervous grin.
"There's so much l-love around her…! I… I…!"
Thorax's eyes were pulsating a greenish-blue color as he was struggling to keep his disguise from breaking. In spite of his best efforts, he succumbed to his instincts, dropping his disguise and revealing his true form.
HISS!
"Shit…!" Muttered Deadpool under his breath.
Everyone except for Spike and Deadpool gasped in shock upon seeing that Thorax was a changeling.
"I… I'm so… sorry!" Said Thorax, his words broken up by his hissing.
Trying to keep himself from possibly hurting anyone, he shakily backed away. Believing he was going to cause trouble, Twilight and Starlight intimidatingly advanced towards him.
"I can't… Can't stop!" Said Thorax.
Spike walked over to his friend, hoping to help calm him down.
"Spike, get away from the changeling!" Ordered Twilight.
In a misguided attempt to protect him, she grabbed Spike with her magic.
"Wait, no! You don't understand!" Pleaded Spike.
Twilight didn't listen. She placed Spike between Sunburst and Deadpool.
"This changeling replaced your friend to get close to the baby! What other explanation could there be?!" Asked Sunburst fearfully.
"I…"
Spike looked around and examined everyone in the throne room. He looked at Cadance, Twilight, and Starlight, seeing their seething faces. He then looked at Thorax, who was still fighting his instincts. Finally, he looked at Deadpool. He saw he was frantically gesturing to him to speak up with his hoof. The only way Thorax could possibly be saved is if he defended him, but he felt fear building up within him. After a few quick moments to contemplate, Spike tapped his index fingers together.
"... I don't know," Said Spike sadly, his words leaving an acrid taste in his mouth.
Seeing the first person to give him a chance at friendship leave him out to dry, Thorax's mouth dropped in disbelief. His eyes then welled up with tears, and he tried flying towards the exit.
"After it! Don't let the changeling escape!" Ordered one of the guards.
Thorax was near the exit when all of a sudden Shining Armor walked into the room. Thorax accidentally bumped into him, causing him to stumble back. Momentarily caught off guard, Shining Armor quickly pulled himself together, and blocked the exit. As the rest of the guards circled around Thorax, Deadpool looked at Spike in disbelief, then to Thorax. He pulled out one of his magic-imbued pistols, cocking it in preparation to fire. Hearing the sound of the gun's hammer cocking back, two of the guards put some distance between themselves and Thorax. Deadpool pointed the gun towards Thorax, who looked even more betrayed.
"Remember, Wade, no killing," Said Cadance sternly.
Wade looked at her, then at Twilight. He looked at the latter for a few painful seconds, then sighed under his breath.
"Wasn't planning on it…" Said Deadpool.
BANG!
SHATTER!
Turning his gun slightly to the left, Deadpool shot one of the throne room's windows, presenting an alternate escape route for Thorax.
"Get out of here!" Ordered Deadpool to Thorax.
Nodding his head in tearful relief, Thorax jumped over a couple of the guards. They tried to catch him, but he narrowly avoided them. He then flew out the window, securing his safety. Everyone looked back at Deadpool, utterly shocked about what he had just done.
"Wade…! What did you do?!" Said Twilight in disbelief, holding back a gasp.
Deadpool looked at his marefriend with a saddened look on his masked face. He slowly placed his weapon on the floor, and carefully kicked it towards the guards and Shining Armor.
"I had to do something illegal to do something right, Twilight; like I always did. Hopefully, you will understand in the second half of the chapter," Said Deadpool, sitting on his haunches and raising his front hooves up in surrender.
Grappling back from her own disbelief, Princess Cadance sighed, then pointed towards Deadpool.
"Arrest him…" Ordered Cadance with a stern but saddened tone.
All of the guards flocked towards Deadpool, knowing how dangerous he can be. One of them held him down while another pulled out a set of hoofcuffs to restrain him with. Shining Armor overlooked the arrest with a disappointed and angered look on his face. Twilight watched her coltfriend's arrest with watery eyes. As the guards stood Deadpool up and made him walk towards the exit, Spike watched helplessly, the guilt from his inaction fully weighing down on him.
Thirty minutes later...
After Thorax accidentally revealed himself, many of the Crystal Empire's royal guards have been out searching for him in order to apprehend him for posing a potential threat to the inhabitants, especially Princess Flurry Heart. As a group of guards searched outside the Crystal Castle, Spike stepped outside. He was reflecting on everything that had transpired.
Thorax's instincts to feed off of love overwhelmed him and caused him to accidentally reveal that he was a changeling. The guards, his friends, and even his family immediately tried to arrest him, even when Spike did try to explain what was going on. And when Thorax needed him to stand up for him, he did nothing. Due to his passivity, Deadpool had to help Thorax escape, resulting in him being arrested. Now his old friend is seen as a traitor, and his newest friend is a wanted fugitive. All because when the moment came for him to do what was right, he chose to do nothing. As the weight of his actions, or in this case inaction, beared down on him, a guard walked over to him.
"Spike, you should go find Crystal Ceramic while we hunt down the changeling," Suggested the guard.
"I'm pretty sure he doesn't want to see me," Replied Spike glumly.
"Spread out!"
Oblivious to what Spike was saying, the guard immediately ran to the other guards upon hearing Shining Armor's authoritative voice.
"The changeling is probably still nearby!" Said Shining Armor.
The guards saluted him, then spread out in three groups to cover more ground, with Shining Armor leading one of them towards the eastern side of the empire.
"Ah-hem!"
Hearing a gravelly voice behind him, Spike jumped out of fright. Turning around, he saw Deadpool. To say he was surprised to see him would be an understatement. He was relieved to see him, although this feeling quickly subsided as he saw the normally eccentric vigilante was sitting with his forelegs crossed, his masked face bearing a rarely seen stern expression.
"What the hell was that?" Asked Deadpool sternly.
"Wade? What are you doing here? Did the authorities let you go?" Asked Spike in reply.
"Oh hell no! I'm supposed to be searched and stripped of my costume right now, but the dumbass guards didn't remove my teleportation device first," Explained Deadpool. "Now, what is wrong with you, Spike?!"
"You're that mad?" Asked Spike timidly.
"Mad doesn't even begin to describe how I'm feeling right now! You were presented with an opportunity that could have changed Thorax's fate, but you threw him under the chariot and had it run him over two more times for good measure!" Said Deadpool angrily.
"I know…" Admitted Spike guiltily. "Not trying to shift blame or anything, but why didn't you try to speak up for him when I failed to do so?"
"Because the guards, Cadance, and Shining Armor would have valued your word over mine. As much as I hate to say it, you are a celebrity here. You are the Ryan Reynolds of the Crystal Empire," Explained Deadpool.
(Is it because he deserved better like when Ryan was cast to be the human version of us in X-Men Origins: Wolverine?)
"You're right, Wade. I'm sorry for what happened," Apologized Spike sincerely.
"As much as I appreciate your apology, I'm not the one who you should be apologizing to," Said Deadpool.
"I don't think Thorax would accept my apology, not after I failed to help him," Said Spike glumly.
"Why didn't you help him, Spike? You helped him up to that point, so what changed?" Asked Deadpool.
"Because I was afraid, Wade! I wanted to stand up for him, but I was afraid that everyone wasn't going to believe me, and that they were all going to hate me! I was afraid that the Crystal Empire would no longer see me as a hero, that you, my friends, and my family would hate me… and Twilight would disown me," Said Spike sadly.
As much as Deadpool was upset with him, he understood why Spike didn't help Thorax. He took a moment to breathe to compose himself.
"Spike, Twilight would never disown you. Even if you were the cause of armageddon, she would never abandon you. But, what you did was selfish. I would know. You chose your own self image over a friend, and now Thorax probably feels like he has no one who cares about him. Everyone in the Crystal Empire is going to relentlessly hunt him down unless you make them stop," Said Deadpool.
"What can I do?" Asked Spike.
"Find Thorax, apologize to him, then come back and advocate for his innocence," Answered Deadpool.
"And what if it doesn't work and everyone hates me?" Asked Spike.
"Then you relentlessly stand up for him. When you defend someone who others fear, you risk how others perceive you. Twilight risked her image when she believed Princess Luna was no longer evil, when she took on Starlight as an apprentice, and when she decided to befriend me at the beginning of this fanfiction. Everypony she has helped is living better lives now, and Thorax can do the same. He just needs somepony who will give him that chance," Said Deadpool.
After listening to Deadpool's encouraging words, Spike smiled.
"You're right, Wade. I'm going to find Thorax and be the friend that I should have been!" Said Spike determinedly.
Deadpool smiled back. The sound of galloping ponies could be heard behind him and Spike, and was getting louder every second.
"As great as it was to have this talk with you, I'm going to have to head back to jail, now," Said Deadpool
THUD!
Suddenly, Deadpool was tackled to the ground by five guards. Spike moved out of the way, then started heading towards the Arctic Wastes where he will hopefully find Thorax.
A little while later…
After traversing through the bitter cold, Spike arrived at the entrance to the underground cavern. Sliding down the tunnel, he made sure to stop himself before he could risk falling down the chasm within the cavern.
"Thorax! Hello?" Shouted Spike.
Looking around the cavern, Spike couldn't see Thorax anywhere. Not responding to his calls, he thought that maybe he was hiding from him; not that he didn't deserve it.
"I just want to apologize! I should have stood up for you…" Said Spike.
Still not hearing a response, Spike saw the rock that he kicked earlier. He lifted it up, not surprised to see nothing underneath.
"Aw, come on, Thorax! I know you're in here!" Said Spike.
Turning his back to it, Spike didn't see the rock become enveloped in a green fire. As soon as it disappeared, it revealed Thorax, who was glaring at Spike. Feeling somebody behind him, Spike turned around, accidentally bumping noses with Thorax.
"Leave me alone!" Shouted Thorax angerily.
HISS!
Thorax hissed aggressively at Spike, causing him to stumble backwards. Part of the ground crumbled underneath his weight, causing him to slip into the chasm's maw. Before he could fall, he grabbed onto the ledge. Panting heavily, Spike tried to pull himself up, but the slippery snow was not providing a suitable grip for him. His claws raked through the frozen earth, leaving three scratch marks.
"A little help?" Asked Spike timidly.
"Why do you think I would help you? I'm an 'evil changeling'!" Said Thorax angrily.
Spike could feel his grip weakening, his arms shaking as they struggled to hold on to the ledge. Feeling that falling into the chasm was a fate he deserved, he decided to use his last moments to at least try to atone for his actions.
"Because you're my friend. I just wish I had been one to you," Said Spike regretfully.
Catching his attention, Thorax listened intently to Spike.
"I should have stood up for you. I could've tried to convince everypony to give you a chance, but I didn't because I was afraid that I would no longer be liked. I was selfish. I'm sorry that I turned my back on you, and I hope that someday, you will get the love and kindness you deserve," Said Spike.
As soon as he said his last words, he lost his grip and fell down the chasm.
"Ahhh!"
Suddenly, Spike stopped falling, feeling something grab his right arm. He looked up, and saw Thorax. He then flew him over back a few feet away from the chasm. Being saved a second time gave Spike déjà vu.
"It's okay, I know it's hard. Everyone in the Crystal Empire loves you. I couldn't ask you to give that up for me," Said Thorax.
"You don't have to ask," Said Spike.
He began making his way back to the tunnel, each step he took radiating with determination.
"What are you gonna do?" Asked Thorax.
Spike stopped in his tracks, and looked back at his friend.
"What I should've done in the first place."
Meanwhile…
Deadpool was sitting alone in an empty room. The walls were a dreary gray, a single one-way glass window was to the left of the door, and the only pieces of furniture in the room was a wooden table bolted to the floor and a couple of metal chairs. Deadpool was sitting at the table facing towards the entrance. He was stripped of his suit and weapons, exposing his tumor ridden skin. A metallic jingling sound echoed throughout the room. The source was a pair of hoofcuffs attached to Deadpool's right hind leg and the chair he was sitting on, making noise as he swung his leg. Normally, this would be nowhere near enough to restrain him, but because he was cooperating, Shining and the guards cut back on the restraints.
CREAK…!
The door opened with a drawn out creak. Shining Armor stepped into the room, his royal guard armor still adorning his body. Making sure the door was shut, he walked over to the other chair opposite of Deadpool. He sat down, looking at him with a serious look in his eyes. Both stallions locked eyes with each other, sitting in complete silence for nearly a minute.
"... So do I talk first or do you talk first? I'm no stranger to interrogations, but I haven't been interrogated by my future brother-in-law before," Said Deadpool.
Shining sighed out of irritation.
"I'll start. Did you know that Crystal Ceramic was replaced by a changeling?" Asked Shining.
"Yes," Answered Deadpool.
"Do you know where the changeling-"
"Thorax," Said Deadpool, cutting off Shining Armor.
"What?" Asked Shining.
"Thorax. His name is Thorax. Use it," Said Deadpool sternly.
"... Do you know where Thorax is holding Crystal Ceramic hostage? Asked Shining.
"Crystal Ceramic doesn't exist. That was just an identity that I helped create for Thorax," Answered Deadpool.
"Really?" Questioned Deadpool.
"Yeah. I've created several identities when I was a mercenary. He used his magic to make his own OC, and I came up with his identity and history based on what he created," Explained Deadpool.
"If Crystal Ceramic doesn't exist… Did Spike know too?!" Questioned Shining out of realization.
"He did," Admitted Deadpool.
SLAM!
Shining Armor slammed his front hooves on the table, and looked at Deadpool with a furious glare.
"What did you drag Spike into?!" Asked Shining furiously.
"Calm the fuck down, Brother Bear," Said Deadpool with his front hooves up defensively. "Spike was the one who wanted to help Thorax in the first place."
"You better not be lying to me!" Said Shining.
"I'm not! I would not throw Spike under the chariot!" Said Deadpool.
"Then if that is the case, why did you both help Thorax get into the palace and allow him to get close to my daughter?! Conspiring with an enemy of Equestria is a serious offense. Based on everything you have told me, you and Spike could face imprisonment. So if you want to help yourself and Spike, you have to have a reasonable motive for helping Thorax," Said Shining.
"Our motive for helping him was he wanted to make some friends," Said Deadpool.
"He wanted friends?" Questioned Shining skeptically.
"He did. When Chrysalis invaded Canterlot, Thorax was inspired by your sister and her friends to share love instead of taking it. So he left so he can make friends of his own. Spike found him, prevented me from turning him into a shish kabob, then we tried to help him make friends with your subjects by pretending to be one of them," Explained Deadpool.
(You and Spike acted as second and third impos-)
"Shut the fuck up," Said Deadpool to the voice in his head.
He saw that Shining Armor still looked skeptical about his explanation.
"I know, it sounds weird. When I first met Thorax, I also thought he was secretly trying to get into the Crystal Empire so he can feast off of its love. But, after trying to help him, I realized how much of a softie he is, even if he sounds like an angry cobra when exposed to love and kindness," Said Deadpool.
"If he is as nice as you say he is, then explain why he was involved in the invasion of Canterlot," Said Shining.
"Because the ruler of the changelings is the literal poster child for evil queens. I can't defend every changeling involved that day, and I know that day has left you and Cadance with plenty of PTSD. Take it from somepony who needs plenty of it, you both should probably seek therapy. Anyway, isn't it reasonable to believe that at least one changeling is good?" Asked Deadpool.
Shining Armor didn't respond to Deadpool's question.
"Twilight has always advocated to offer everypony a chance at friendship. Hell, I'm an example of what sharing a little kindness can do. If we gave former villains such as Princess Luna, Discord, and Starlight a chance at friendship, then shouldn't you give Thorax, who is pure of heart, that same chance," Asked Deadpool.
Shining Armor contemplated this query for nearly a minute. This was the second time he had been given a different perspective about the changelings after all. He then got up from his seat.
"Thanks for answering my questions. The guards will escort you to a cell in a few minutes," Said Shining.
As he was about to leave, Deadpool called to him.
"Shining."
Shining Armor stopped in his tracks.
"If you're not going to heed anything I had to say, then at least do me a favor and don't be too hard on Spike. He was just trying to help someone in need," Said Deadpool.
After listening to what Deadpool had to say, he walked out of the interrogation room. Upon stepping out into a bleak looking hallway, he encountered Twilight and Cadance.
"You both heard everything he said?" Asked Shining Armor.
"Yes. Wade's answers explain a lot about his and Spike's behavior. Especially why Wade thought we should be more diplomatic towards Thorax since he usually has an unhealthy fixation on violence, and why I never heard about Spike's friend until today'" Said Twilight.
Shining Armor and Cadance nodded their heads solemnly in agreement.
"... Have we gone too far?" Asked Twilight.
"In what way?" Asked Shining.
"Wade was arrested, and now we're hunting a changeling who may not actually have malicious intent. It makes me wonder if we have been handling everything appropriately," Said Twilight.
"You bring up a fair point, Twilight. In my and Shining's attempt to protect Flurry Heart, we may have been abusing our authority," Said Cadance.
"Can we trust that Thorax is actually good, though? I can believe that Wade and Spike were just trying to help him make friends, but how can we be certain that he wasn't using them as part of a ploy by Chrysalis to invade the Crystal Empire?" Asked Shining.
Before Shining Armor could have his query answered, the sound of galloping hooves filled the hallway. Looking past his wife and his sister, he saw one of his guards running frantically towards them. They stopped just a couple feet away from the two princesses.
"Princesses Cadance and Twilight Sparkle. Prince Shining Armor. The changeling has returned!" Said the guard.
"Where is he?" Asked Shining.
"He's heading towards the throne room with Spike the Brave and Glorious! I think the changeling's holding him hostage! Replied the guard.
The royals wasted no time. They ran down the hallway, making their way to the throne room.
A few minutes later…
The three ponies arrived at the throne room. Upon opening the doors, they found Starlight Glimmer, Sunburst, Flurry Heart, and a bunch of royal guards. There was no sign of Spike or Thorax, but the guards stood at attention, ready for their orders.
"Guards! Prepare for the changeling's arrival, but be careful! We cannot risk endangering Spike's life!" Ordered Shining.
Twilight, and Cadance positioned themselves behind the guards while Shining Armor stood in front of his troops. They stood there, waiting for Thorax and Spike. After a minute nearly passed, the doors flung open, revealing Spike and Thorax. Spike confidently made his way towards Shining Armor while Thorax nervously followed behind him.
"Spike, get away from him!" Ordered Shining.
"No!" Said Spike firmly.
"No?!" Replied Shining in disbelief. "Spike, this isn't a matter of debate! You are going to step away from him, and you're going to do it now!"
"I'm not going to do that, Shining Armor! I stepped away once, and because I did… I almost lost my friend," Said Spike.
Everyone in the room gasped out of shock, surprised that Spike was friends with a changeling. The only ponies who weren't surprised were Shining Armor, Cadance, and Twilight.
"Wade told Shining Armor about your involvement with him. I understand that you want to help him, Spike, but there is too much we don't know about him. To keep everypony safe, he needs to come with us," Said Cadance.
"But he's not dangerous! He may have worked for Chrysalis, but he was inspired by Twilight and our friends to pursue friendship," Said Spike.
Hearing what her assistant said about Thorax's inspiration to pursue friendship, she listened intently to what he was saying.
"We have all been advocating to pursue love and friendship to all of ponykind. Equestria was founded on it, prospered because of it, and friendship has been what saved our nation several times now. It even saved others from their own misdeeds. If friendship has brought good things to all ponies, then don't we have a duty to give it to others who aren't like us, but want it just as much?" Asked Spike.
A dead silence filled the room. All of the guards passed looks to each other and their leaders, wondering who's going to make the next move. Shining Armor and Cadance looked unsure, but Spike stood confident in his beliefs. Finally, Twilight walked towards Spike, stopping just a hoofstep in front of him.
"Spike, I'm so proud of you," Said Twilight with a warm smile.
Overjoyed to see Twilight happy and friendly, Spike smiled.
"You are?" Asked Spike.
"Of course!" Said Twilight, embracing Spike in a hug, "You're a celebrity here in the Crystal Empire, and you just risked all of it for a friend! I can't imagine anything more brave than that."
Twilight turned to face the guards, her friends, and family.
"As the Princess of Friendship, I try to set an example for all of Equestria. But today, it was Spike who taught me that a new friend can come from anywhere. I guess everypony still has things to learn about friendship. Even me! And if Spike says Thorax is his friend, then he's my friend too," Said Twilight.
She turned towards Thorax and extended her left forehoof. Seeing her invitation for a hoofshake, Thorax smiled and shook her hoof.
"Thank you," Said Thorax, wiping a tear from his eye.
Seeing the Princess's gesture of friendship, the guards relaxed. Cadance and Shining Armor, looked at Thorax, then at Spike and Twilight. They then looked at each other, trying to read what the other was thinking. Without uttering a single word, they reached an agreement. They walked towards Thorax, Twilight, and Spike, with Starlight and Sunburst following behind them.
"On behalf of the Crystal Empire, I would like to extend my hoof in friendship, and I'm sure all of my subjects are eager to do the same," Said Cadance.
The guards cheered, filling Thorax with joy. Cadance used her magic to take Flurry Heart from Sunburst. She then levitated her in front of Thorax. He nervously took a step back, recalling what happened the first time he got too close to her. Seeing Thorax, she cooed in content. Seeing that she was happy, Thorax smiled in relief.
"Welcome to the Crystal Empire, Thorax. I'm sorry we didn't take the time to get to know you. Maybe we can change that now," Said Shining earnestly.
"That'd be so amazing! I want to know all about friendship, and maybe one day I can take that knowledge back to the Changeling Kingdom! If my kind learned how to create love for one another, maybe they wouldn't have to take it from others!" Said Thorax optimistically.
"To Spike the Brave and Glorious!" Cheered a guardspony.
The guards held up both Spike and Thorax as they cheered in celebration at the new friendship that was formed. Initially watching happily, Twilight's mood slowly became sadder.
"Is everything alright, Twilie?" Asked Shining.
"I'm glad that we were able to rectify one mistake we all made, but there's one more wrong that we need to make right," Said Twilight.
Knowing what she was inferring, Shining Armor nodded in agreement.
A little while later…
Deadpool was sitting in a prison cell. The cell was bare-boned, only processing a bed that hung on the wall and a metal toilet and sink. However, the walls were covered with tally marks. He was laying on the bed, drawing a new tally mark right next to him.
(Why are you drawing tally marks on the wall? We haven't been here for a single day.)
"I'm counting the minutes instead of days. Two hundred and forty minutes (sigh). What is taking Spike so long?! I thought I would've been out of here an hour ago!" Said Deadpool impatiently.
Deadpool looked towards the bars. In the cell opposite of his was a Crystal Pony stallion. He quickly noticed Deadpool staring at him.
"What are you in for?" Asked Deadpool.
He waited several seconds for an answer, but the stallion stayed silent. Giving up, Deadpool drew another tally mark on the wall next to him. Suddenly, the sound of a lot of hoofsteps could be heard in the hall. A jail guard, Shining Armor, Cadance, Thorax, Spike and Twilight stopped in front of his cell. The guard pulled out a ring of keys and used the single silver key to unlock his cell.
"You're free to go, Mr. Wilson. All charges against you have been dropped," Said the guard.
Deadpool giddy jumped out of his bed and ran out of the cell. He then swiftly embraced Twilight in a hug.
"Wade! Are you okay?" Asked Twilight concernedly.
"I'm fine, Twilight," Replied Deadpool. "This is far from my first time in jail. I see that Spike was successful in convincing you all that Thorax is good."
"He was, and thank you for saving me earlier, Wade," Said Thorax.
Thorax shook Deadpool's hoof in gratitude.
"It was no problem," Said Deadpool.
"Wade, I owe you an apology. I know that you would never have helped someone you believe had ill intent. Instead I allowed you to be arrested," Said Twilight glumly.
Deadpool kissed Twilight on the cheek.
"It's alright, Twi. In hindsight, it probably didn't help that Spike and I tried to keep Thorax's identity a secret instead of being upfront about it," Said Deadpool.
"Shining Armor and I owe you an apology as well. We wrongly believed that you might have been working with the changelings, and because of that, it almost cost you your freedom and the life that you had worked hard to build," Said Cadance.
"Thankfully, Spike made us see the error of our ways. If there is anything we can do to make it up to you, please let us know," Said Shining.
"Well, there's one thing that you can do," Said Deadpool.
"Name it," Said Shining.
"You pay for all six of us and Starlight and Sunburst to go out to dinner. I could go for a beer. And a taco. And a shower beforehoof. Who knows what bacteria has been breeding on that toilet," Said Deadpool with a shudder.
"We can definitely make that work. It would give us an opportunity to get to know Thorax," Said Cadance.
"There's no greater tool for unity than food," Said Deadpool.
As everyone chuckled at what Deadpool said, they failed to notice the royal guard that had stopped Spike, Deadpool, Twilight, and Starlight outside of the castle. Watching them from the entrance to the jail cells, they quietly shut the door behind them. He walked over to a door that was being guarded by two prison guards. They saluted him, then stepped out of the way. Opening the door, he swiftly entered the room and shut the door behind him. He was in a small break room that had a wooden table, a counter with a sink, a microwave, and a refrigerator. He laid his spear on the table, then twisted the lower half, separating the spear into two halves. He then turned the bottom half over, and caught something that fell out of it. It was an object shaped like a black scarab beetle. Placing it on the table, the wings opened up. A green light projected upwards, creating a black and green vortex akin to a portal. Suddenly, an image appeared, revealing Chrysalis - Queen of the Changelings!
"Do you have something worth reporting, captain?" Asked Chrysalis annoyedly.
"Indeed, Your Highness. Remember that changeling that deserted the hive?" Asked the changeling captain.
"Thorax? What about him?" Asked Chrysalis.
"He's here at the Crystal Empire, and he's allied himself with the ponies, including Twilight Sparkle and Deadpool," Said the captain.
Chrysalis was surprised to hear that one of her subordinates had become friends with her enemies. Her shock was quickly replaced with anger.
"That slimeball!" Muttered Chrysalis bitterly.
"Shall I kill him when I get the chance? I can incinerate him to ensure that the ponies can't find his body," Said the captain.
"Tell me, captain, how much progress have you and your troops made with infiltrating the Crystal Empire?" Asked Chrysalis.
"We were successful in infiltrating the law enforcement branches of the empire. Based on my best predictions, every resident should be replaced within a week," Said the captain.
"Then do not worry about Thorax. He may be a traitor, but he chose a poor time to abandon our hive. He won't be able to warn the ponies about what is to come. Continue your operation, captain," Ordered Chrysalis.
"As you wish, Your Highness," Said the captain.
The projection of Queen Chrysalis disappeared, and the wings on the scarab closed. He hid it back in the bottom half of the spear, then twisted both halves of the spear back together. He then swiftly left the room, the prison guards (who were most likely changelings in disguise) saluting him again as the door shut behind him.
Fin?
Hey everypony! Hope you all enjoyed the latest chapter of "Deadpool: Mercenary of Harmony"! This chapter took place in the season six episode "The Times They Are a Changeling". The next chapter will mark a momentous occasion for the two primary protagonists. So be sure to stay tuned! Until next time, this has been ThePhantomArchives, and I hope you all have a great day!