XIX) Parallel world (6/6)
(Gon's night watch.)
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Gon POV:
Yoo Si Jin and the two most experienced Seniors of the night accompany Gon to the Jo's house, where 'his special guest' has been invited to stay. (They most probably assume that Gon is seeing the mysterious woman who still hasn't been officially introduced.) Yeong bows as he lets Gon in, then exchanges a silent nod with his subordinates in greetings, acknowledgement and thanks all at once while they hand over the clothes Yeong had asked Gon to bring along. And then, they right away set to secure and patrol the perimeter (Yeong having sent any further necessary security detail to them in advance).
Yeong looks as impeccable and in control as ever as he motions for Gon to properly enter the house while he hangs the clothes in the entryway for the time being. You truly can't tell he hasn't been sleeping at all for too long already; and he could obviously push it longer still if required. It would only take a greater toll to recover afterwards though, and Gon is set on insisting on this fact they are both aware of as his best chance to get Yeong to rest as soon as possible; and preferably without the help of whatever is in the envelop in his pocket Yeong had asked him to fetch for him by the Court's physician.
Yeong wordlessly extends a folded piece of paper towards Gon while reporting out loud over Seon Ho's present state, ending with Seon Ho now being upstairs; door locked, but not barricaded as the night before, even if he is aware that Gon is presently here - which means a lot indeed about the obvious progress Yeong has booked on building trust between him and his second twin.
Gon takes the secret anti-blunder note, and quickly reads it over once Yeong is finished talking. It lists what Seon Ho still doesn't know about - time travel, Tae Eul's name (and Gon can only approve; on both accounts); and what Seon Ho does by now know about - Tae Eul being from The Republic, The Kingdom's history (which Gon decodes as meaning the beginning of his reign in particular, and not an extensive history lesson), Yeong's growing up at The Palace but not living there anymore (which Gon decodes as meaning the rumours they never talk about have been adressed; logically, considering Seon Ho's past), and the non-attack from last year.
Gon thanks Yeong for (both) his report(s), giving the note back; then asks Yeong if he judges it possible for him to greet Seon Ho. Yeong indicates he has warned Seon Ho to expect this indeed, and up they go, Yeong taking the clothes Gon staying behind as Yeong knocks on Seon Ho's door and asks if Gon can say hello through the door. Seon Ho accepts in a tiny voice that cuts right through Gon; and Gon has to clear his throat before mentioning he just wishes for Seon Ho to know that he's downstairs if he needs anything, but that it's fine if he just stays in his room. There comes one hesitating 'thank you' in response that cuts right through Gon again, but it is still better than no answer at all, in fact.
Yeong and Gon go to the kitchen, where Yeong prepares their drinks while burning the paper report to ashes and letting it all drain through the sink. They chitchat some over their day apart, which naturally turns into a more serious conversation about Seon Ho. Their voices are pitched somehow low; but they talk - they don't whisper. They need some quiet to be able to hear - but it's not about not being heard. Seon Ho is a floor and a living room and a locked door away, and muffled but still normal voices are bound to be more reassuring than any bound to be interpreted as complotting whispering. What they discuss is not exactly secret anyway; simply points Seon Ho is not aware of yet, but will be, eventually.
"I told Seon Ho we were going to get him papers; but I haven't talked to him yet about the necessary details it will involve. There were more pressing issues to tackle today; and I had to discuss it with you first, Pyeha, of course. And for the record; I do want him to have a choice - all the choices he never had. So I'm trying not to have any expectation; even if, to be honest, I wouldn't mind gaining a twin brother."
It is said with a joking smile they both know to be sincere anyway; and Gon isn't surprised at all. Yeong has the softest of hearts under his polished impenetrable carapace; no matter how very few people are actually aware of that fact.
Yeong turns serious again:
"Personal preferences aside, though: no matter the angle I'm considering it, I just come to the conclusion that he *should* officially be my twin, Pyeha; if only on paper, if it turns out he wants nothing to do with me and my family. I'm too much of a public figure - and trying to hide the fact that we do share the same DNA could potentially backfire one day; so I believe we should cover our base and have our DNA compared and checked as identical by The Royal Hospital right away - irrefutably build it as a ready fact ourselves. It justifies on its own his ID; and if ever necessary, there will be evidence that we never tried to sweep it all under the carpet."
"I see your point. It's not without probable repercussions, though."
"Indeed. But we can just wait and see if it ever leaks; especially if he chooses to start his new life at the other side of the world. And I know for a fact he'll keep his hair long; so it's not like people could easily mistake either of us for the other, even if he decides to settle in The Kingdom. But if he wants a family - if he accepts to let us in; then I'm more than willing to deal with any eventual trouble; and I'm certain my parents will be too. And I hope it won't come to that, but if ever pressed, me and my family would just present an united front and stick to a no-statement policy. There is nothing to find out anyway - no matter how hard some might be inclined to search for crumbs for scandal(; and others might interpret continuous silence as a link to that old abject international newborn traffic and decently let it rest)."
Yeong turns even more serious - both in pledge and plea:
"Kha Bi and Eun Bi won't ever have to know the exact truth. He'll just be their unexpected new brother they will welcome with open arms and open heart. But I would like my parents to know who Seon Ho is, Pyeha. Not that they wouldn't cooperate if we didn't really explain anything; nor that they might ask for more information than the bare minimum we would divulge - you know they never question anything Crown-related; and never would. Not that I feel that they deserve to know - as some people are always going to point accusatory fingers at them, no matter what we come up with and how well we might back it up; even if I do. And not that one can't consider and love someone as one's child without being blood-related; of course. But simply because... I want them to love him as they love me, Pyeha."
Yeongie...
"Even if every love is unique and they will create their own love together; of course. But it's like, there's this cup, inside me; and no matter how much I share its content with the people I care about, it always stays full to the brink. I've always known I was loved and I mattered, Pyeha. From day one. And for who I am; not who I should be or how I might be perceived. And I think that's where my strength comes from. And that's *them*, Pyeha. And I know you understand. I know you know that once you have that cup, it never goes away - no matter what. Seon Ho doesn't; and I want him to get that cup too, Pyeha. Not that he is weak; because we both know exactly how strong he is - so strong. But I want him to get *spoiled* with all the love he never got to have. Not that he doesn't know what love is; because we both know exactly how fiercely he does. But still; if he's willing to accept it, then I want him to have what I am so lucky to have always had and still have, Pyeha."
"Yeongie... It's about you and him and your family. Whatever you decide, I'll only agree to it; and help as much as I can."
"Thank you, Pyeha."
The matter for now settled until knowing what Seon Ho might prefer to start with, Gon takes out the envelop with whatever meds the Court Physician placed inside and pushes it towards Yeong:
"Here is what you asked for, Yeong-ah. The Court Physician already assured me this isn't actually a regular demand of yours; so don't be cross about the breach in privacy and just be thankful for the discussion we won't need to have. Still; I'd rather you could do without."
"I'd rather too, Pyeha, of course: three guards are better than two. See it as an incentive for me *not* to have to take any."
"Because you know those do work."
"Yes."
"When." It isn't a question.
"The first time you went to The Republic, Pyeha."
When Gon disappeared without warning and without a trace for two weeks. No wonder Yeong had needed to knock himself out at some point - if only to be able to peak function again once it would have worn off.
"Only then?"
"Only then."
Gon takes the envelop back.
"Let's keep it that way."
"I intend to, Pyeha."
"What's the plan?"
"All considered: if I'm to be asleep with you being around, I'd rather stay nearby. So I was planning to rest on a couch; with your permission, Pyeha, and if you don't mind the darkness."
"You are *not* sleeping on a couch. Let's take a proper mattress downstairs."
"Thank you, Pyeha."
And so Yeong goes upstairs on his own first again, informing Seon Ho about Gon coming up to help him carry something downstairs. Gon joins him, and they easily move the mattress and bedding from Kha Bi's bed. Gon leads the way, and the mattress ends up on the floor parallel to the main couch, side table pushed aside: the closest possible to where Gon would be. It has Yeong expressing his thanks again, as if he had honestly expected the mattress to be placed anywhere else. Before Gon can call him an idiot for it though, Yeong is on the entryway, taking his shoes and his vest off, hanging the vest on a hanger, then walks back to him, opening the top two buttons of his dress shirt and rolling up his sleeves - honestly?
"Yeong-ah, don't you think you should go change into something more comfortable?"
"If it's comfortable enough for me to fight in it; then it's surely comfortable enough for me to sleep in it, Pyeha."
Gon recognizes the tone: Yeong has made up his mind. So Gon doesn't push. It's silly; but absolutely not worth the struggle.
Yeong contacts Yoo Si Jin for a tranquilising (last) routine check, then motions for Gon to take his seat. Yeong lays himself down, head opposite to Gon, placing his gun and knife at the ready. Once satisfied enough with the arrangement, he gets back up, goes to turn the main light off, then lays back down, this time under the covers. Gon turns the side lamp off too, and the house grows dark, except for the little moonlight coming in from the small barred window up the staircase.
"Sleep tight; Yeong-ah. I'm the one keeping watch, for once."
"Just this once, Pyeha," Yeong has to amend; even pledge.
"Just this once," Gon agrees - if only to help lull Yeong into oblivion.
Minutes tick away. Gon's eyes have by now adjusted to the dark. Yeong keeps still; but he is actually too still, and his breathing too controlled, for him to have fallen asleep. And Gon knows what helps him best, when the situation is reversed.
"I'm coming down," Gon warns before blindly moving until he sits on the mattress too, back against the couch and knies hooked up about Yeong's calves. They are not exactly touching, but Gon knows Yeong must feel the reassuring added weigth nearby.
"Pyeha-"
"You have 40 minutes; or I'm forcing a pill down your throat myself. I'm here. I'll let you know if anything happens; and you'll probably feel it if I move anyway. Sleep, Yeong-ah; that's an order."
A beat.
"Understood, Pyeha."
About thirty minutes later, Yeong's breathing starts to change. By thirty nine minutes, Gon trusts Yeong is truly asleep - and gives himself a well-deserved mental pat on the back.
After some time, Gon carefully takes out his phone, and starts reading short reports while listening from any noise from upstairs and watching over Yeong's sleep. With the added light from his phone, Yeong's features are now clearly visible - at least, as visible as possible with one of his arms half thrown over his closed eyes and his head partially turned to the side as he lays flat on his back, his other hand resting upon his stomach.
The sight is odd: possibly in contrast to the only memories Gon has of Yeong being asleep - as a less than ten years old kid; hopefully not in comparison to the last time Gon had seen Yeong unconscious - panick rising again unbidden at the thought. But Yeong only seems well and peaceful now - obviously healthy tone of skin, obviously healthy even breathing, obviously healthy lack of bruises and bloody open wound; and Gon can't help but glutton on the very satisfactory reality of it all. It truly feels like a privilege to witness - precious and sacred; and it undeniably brings forth a sharp and warm bout of mixed fondness and protectiveness.
(Yeong looks somehow younger - which is physically impossible and plain silly, as his face truly is nothing but clean angles, and for over a decade by now; and somehow vulnerable - which is not only plain silly too, considering the strong cut of the forearms on display, but downright wrong: Yeong definitely just *isn't* vulnerable, and he would never agree to being considered as such - especially coming from Gon. It can't be helped, though. Yeong doesn't have to know, right.)
*His Yeongie*.
If the flute is the magic in Gon's life, and Tae Eul the miracle; then Yeong is the blessing - has always been; and more importantly, and so, so thankfully, still is.
His Unbreakable Sword. Always. Be it in the grand gestures or in the little things - like sleeping in his suit.
Gon's fingers seem to act on their own volition as they open a photo on his phone.
/
The last evening before Yeong's official first day in The Royal Guard. They've eaten together, after some rowing practice - for the first time without their teammates. Yeong is about to leave to that new place of his but Gon calls him back, following a sudden urge.
"Wait a minute."
Yeong turns back to him; and Gon points to the middle of the room, where the light might be best, as he takes out his phone.
"Go stand there. I feel like taking a picture."
A reminder. A proof. Before The Royal Guard suits. Before Yeong being *Gon's employee*. It had suddenly felt paramount to Gon to capture the moment.
Yeong gives him a very soft look; before right away complying, wordlessly.
"No silly face."
Yeong gives a chuckle at the addition (they used to take tons of silly photos doing silly faces indeed, even if it isn't the norm anymore nowadays) but obliges; standing tall, smiling bright, giving a thumb up, wearing a black Tshirt and black sweatpants. He holds the position until Gon checks his phone and pockets it, satisfied enough with one of the three shots he took.
/
It is still one of Gon's favorite photo of Yeong - not only because it is the last one before the suits, but also because Yeong wears a sportive set, even if that is only an unintended bonus Gon had noticed later on. Gon had always used to enjoy watching Yeong in such sets - from his first enthusiast even if sloppy taekwondo practices out in the gardens, to the more serious and official training sessions with the Royal Guard as time had gone by. Gon had stopped though - when Yeong had actually enroled and training had become nothing but a reminder about the risks of the job. (Which is why Gon had eagerly relished on the show, when the since long lost opportunity to carelessly just enjoy Yeong's moves had turned up, that time in The Republic - Gon had fought the not actually dangerously vicious thugs earlier himself without trouble after all.)
The picture is kept in a folder with a few other personal pics Gon transfers from phone to phone whenever he gets a new one - along with candids of him with his parents; his parents's last official portraits; a selfie of Yeong and him as teenagers making silly faces; a more serious selfie of the both of them in their Navy uniform; and that photo with him standing between Prince Buyeong and Lady Noh (his first tie after... Gon had felt proud about no one noticing his unease; and so this pic always gives him strength somehow - which is why it stands at his desk too.) No matter where Gon goes; so do those photos. Home - even when far away. Gon doesn't often actually look at them. But he just needs to know that they are always at his disposition.
So. It is really tempting to take a picture of Yeong right now too. If only as some intangible evidence that the moment is real. It would feel stolen, though; and Gon decides to add a new goofie selfie of them making silly faces to his collection instead - right the moment Yeong wakes up; usually perfect hair somehow messed up included, with some luck. He keeps watching as Yeong continues to sleep though, intent on fixing as many possible details about such already cherished memory deep into his brain.
In the wee hours of the early morning, a soft click resonates quite loud in the silent house as the lock of Seon Ho's door is turned open.
Yeong awakes at once, hand already going for a weapon before realizing there is no need for it and aborting his move.
Seon Ho doesn't come out of his room, though. Maybe it is some kind of test? But then, maybe he just needs to go to the bathroom but doesn't dare.
Gon motions for Yeong to relax back down; and Yeong understands and pretends to be asleep still. If Seon Ho does exit his room, Gon wants to use the opportunity.
Gon gets up, and approaches the stairs but stays downstairs.
Finally, Seon Ho opens the door. He freezes momentarily when he notices Gon waiting up for him; but then proceeds through, giving a bow:
"Pyeha."
And Gon realizes several things at once:
First, Seon Ho is wearing Yeong's clothes - not Yeong's father, as he had expected. Gon's heart clenches at the recognition: for Seon Ho's sake - because the clothes are obviously too big for his frame; but also simply because no matter the unappropriate hair length, build, tone, and expression, well, it is still Yeong's face and voice, and surimposed with the fact that Gon has just been reminiscing Yeong in such clothes before the suits, the sight feels like a trip back in time.
Then, Seon Ho calling him by his title just feels utterly *wrong*. Seon Ho had used to associate it with-
Gon keeps his voice low but loud enough for it to be heard from upstairs:
"I'd rather you address me as Mr Lee. I insist."
Seon Ho frowns; then shyly corrects his greeting, bowing again with a "Mr Lee" this time.
Gon gives him a nod and a gentle smile, signaling he may go on with whatever follows.
Seon Ho's eyes glide over the scene downstairs, and then Seon Ho quietly asks:
"I haven't disturbed Yeong's sleep, have I?"
"Yeong is just fine."
Seon Ho takes a few steps towards him, stopping about half way down the stairs and bowing again, lower:
"I just wish to express my belated but sincere thanks, Mr Lee."
"And now that you've done so, let's not mention any of it ever again, all right. And let me express my sincere thanks back at you - for the leap of faith," Gon adds, as Seon Ho seems puzzled at his words.
"I- You're welcome, Mr Lee."
Another bow, and Gon knows Seon Ho is about to go back up.
"Just so you know: I'm here, should you need anything; be it practical or - well, anything. But I'd understand of course if you'd rather avoid me entirely, so just feel free to do so. That being said: whatever you decide, Ï'll be grateful if you could stay in touch somehow with Yeong; if only from time to time, if only via postcards. Between you and me: he's a mother hen."
Seon Ho blinks; then bows again:
"Of course, Mr Lee."
This time, Gon lets him take his leave. Seon Ho gets back to his room. He closes the door; but he doesn't lock it.
Gon gets back to Yeong, who smiles bright back at him, wished upon ruffled bed hair included. Gon is going soft at the sight.
"I think that went well enough."
"I agree, Pyeha."
"So. You're not *always* wearing *only* suits. Should I be offended or flattered?"
Yeong deadpans back, totally unimpressed:
"Be flattered all you want; of course, Pyeha."
Gon grows serious again:
"You've heard, right: to him, I'm Mr Lee."
"I've heard, Pyeha. Forgive me for not starting to cackle around, though."
Gon has to chuckle at that; but jumps on the occasion to negociate.
"I'll forgive you in exchange for one photo. Silly face and bed hair are mandatory. We agreed this to be a rare occurence; so we should treat it as memento worthy."
"Whatever pleases you, Pyeha. Allow me one minute first, though?"
"One minute."
Yeong contacts Yoo Si Jin. He gets to the bathroom, and comes out somehow freshen up - clothes straightened up, a splash of fresh water on his face, a quick rinse of his mouth. His hair is a bit more in order; but not yet arranged in its usual perfect shape, and Gon deems it fair enough. The photo definitely turns out memento worthy. Yeong asks for a copy. And then he goes to fix hair.
Once back downstairs, Yeong puts his vest and his shoes back on.
"I'm making coffee for everyone."
"And then I leave."
"And then you leave. (a bow) Thank you for everything, Pyeha."
"Just give me that coffee."
.
AN:
And that's a wrap for this chapter :) Next chapter will jump forward in time !
In case it wasn't obvious: This chapter is dedicated to my parents. They've been through hell before my birth, yet have always been nothing but supportive and understanding and *present* and loving. They gave me that cup; they made me that strong. They taught me love is freely given and always acceptant. They're just fantastic and I am grateful and thankful and proud and I love them so very much - and I tell them (and the world), every chance I am still so lucky to get. Overcoming adversity makes you strong: that's true. But being loved and pampered too; and I think it is never pointed at enough.
(And as always, thanks for any feedback, it means the Manpasikjeok to me!)