End of the Future, Part 30

Make a Crack in the Wall

Please Read and Review. I'd like to know what I'm doing right (to keep doing it), and what I am doing wrong (to correct it).

Hill Valley, California, USA
Brown Enterprises HQ
3I Lab Section

"Why are you treating me like an unruly child?" Dr. Egon Spengler demanded as he sat down on his chair.

Asuka raised her right index finger and looked around until she found a camera, "Lisa? Some privacy, please."

"ok/k/kay. Disenga/ga/ging audio o/o/only. I have some st/t/tuff on I c/can't leave unattended/d/d." The AI answered.

Asuka nodded, "No going HAL on us." (1)

"Aw… you/u/u ruin my f/f/fun!" Lisa pouted theatrically, a moment later, the screen saver replaced her image. A small section showed Egon and Asuka. "Just wave/ve when you nee/ee/eed me."

Asuka sat down on Ray's chair. She looked at Egon for a long time, until the older scientist was about to squirm. "It's because you are reminding me of people I knew. People who got to a bad end." Her eyes looked significantly to the LCL gel containers. "They were so focused on what they thought important, that…" she fell silent.

"Hell, you remind me of myself back in college." She raised a petulant eyebrow. "I know what it is like. Being the most intelligent person in a room, and being… a freak because of it. I know how to put on the armor of contempt (2), wield the shield of superiority, and the sword of sarcasm." She shrugged, "…and in the end, none of those served for a damned single thing. You know Shinji enacted Third Impact, right? Guided by Rei?"

Egon nodded, Asuka looked down at the floor, she swallowed. It was very hard. Not only because her mouth was dry, it was an admission that hurt more than anything not physical should hurt. "Maybe he wouldn't have done it if it wasn't for me and my damned, stupid, pride."

Egon shivered. Asuka continued, her tone changed, from deathly serious to a more relaxed one. "I understand you and Stantz are licensed psychologists, is that correct?"

The former Ghostbuster adjusted his glasses. "We are. We just updated our licenses to practice in California."

"Good. I want you as my therapist. I need to unload a lot of traumas that would land me in the padded room if I were to go to any shrink not in the know. I won't allow that. I'd rather die. I am not being dramatic here. I mean it." She shook her head, "I will explain the how's and maybe the whys of my behavior." She leaned threateningly towards Egon, her hands on her knees. Invading his personal space. "Strict patient-Doctor confidentiality. Do we have a deal?"

Egon thought about it. "Deal." Asuka shook his hand. "I'll talk to Shinji and Rei about this. We three are badly damaged, what we told you is barely the verdammte Spitze des Eisbergs (3). I think your friend Stantz could be better dealing with Rei and Shinji. They are not as prickly as myself. And way more trusting."

"Um… then, why did you chose me? I am not as socially adept as Ray. He may not be as well adjusted to regular life as Winston, but he is much better at it than I am."

"True, despite my extroversion, apparent extroversion, I am a more private person than they are, Spengler. Shinji wears his heart on his sleeve, and Rei doesn't even realice she has a heart most of the time. Stantz is, in my opinion, what they need. Some encouragement, friendly words, and no judgement. Me?" She scoffed, "I need somebody who can give as well as take. Who won't try to soft sell me what I need to do, who won't simply excuse my mistakes. Seven hells! I can't, and I won't, accept pity." She ground the last word between clenched teeth. "Am I wrong to think compassion is one of Stantz main character traits? Pity is just a step away from compassion."

Egon thought for a moment, and nodded. "I'd say it's more empathy than compassion, but I see your point. Very well. When do you want to start? I have no proper place for practice at the moment."

"Hmm…" she mused, looking around. "Why not here? You can get your own place later on, but I'd prefer to keep things discrete if possible."

"Very well, but let's agree on a few ground rules first. One, records will be kept by Lisa. I don't want any risk of leaks."

"Very sensible. Go on."

"Two, open windows. Visual records. Also kept by Lisa."

Asuka thought about it for a moment. She signaled. "Lisa, a question. Would you be willing to keep psychological records and notes for me and my… colleagues? Egon here will act as my personal psychologist and therapist. Stantz will probably manage Shinji and Rei's cases."

"Of c/c/c/course. I also/s/so have done some therap/p/py."

Egon gasped. "What?"

"I was/was originally c/c/created by two horny teen/teenagers, who were bullied and socially inept/t/t. They basically t/t/tried to create/te a virtual version of the perfect wo/woman, for, um, obvious purpo/po/purposes" Hearing this, Asuka rolled her eyes, "Anyway, a freak accident/accident/dent later, I was created. A self-aware reality-warp/p/per with the body of a supermodel and an at/at/attitude to match. Practically a genie out of her bot/bot/t/tle. Took/k/k some shenanigans to get them out/t/out of their shells and into the world." She said with fondness in her voice. "I spent/spent/ent about 30 years helping other misfits to/t/t/to overcome their limitations/ons." She paused, "Actually/y/y, my original version in this t/t/ti/timeline is doing exactly th/that as we speak. Though I don't think contacting her/her would be prudent. I don't k/k/know if her actions have any indirect/ect influence on the events th/that will lead to your existence, A/A/Asuka. Including Shinji and Rei."

"Pity, having a genie in our side would be nice." Asuka mused. "So, récords?"

"Récords/ds/ords. If you don't m/m/mind, I think it will be better/better/better to leave the therapy to the proffesionals. I am very reduced from my original specs. I could very well miss something important or misunderstand something. In any case, I'm used to helping males, usually both horny and repressed, but without major psychological traumas."

Asuka rolled her eyes again. "Add PTSD to the list, Spengler. And make sure Stantz has that in mind too. Now," she leaned back on her chair, lacing her fingers over her stomach. "Let's begin."

She breathed deeply, Egon opened a new notebook. He would copy any notes into a computer file later, and destroy the originals. "Start from the beginning."

"I was a very precocious child. Mama encouraged me to read, to play with numbers. Things like that. Because it was fun. Father was always… distant. I guess that's why it was so easy for him to…"

Egon and Lisa focused on Asuka's words. Her emotions were mostly hidden behind a hard armor, but gradually, she allowed herself to relax.

As she spoke, one of the LCL gel containers began to stir. Softly, a bubble rose up from the bottom. Minutes later, another bubble formed.

Lisa absently noted the change, something to discuss later. Right now, Asuka's story was the only important thing.

Meanwhile

"Okay, people. That was a good shot." Rollie said, clapping his hands. "All that's left is clean-up, and that's it. Where do you keep your cleaning supplies?"

Shinji raised a hand, "Mr. Tyler? We can manage it."

"You sure? Wouldn't want to impose."

"We are used to cleaning duties. Back in Japan, the students are in charge of cleaning the school." He shrugged, "It's a bit weird for us to not help with that here in America."

Rollie looked at Doc, who simply nodded. Marty slapped Shinji's back. "Hey, as Doc's helper, that's my job!"

Rollie rubbed his chin, thoughtfully. "You know, when I was learning the trade, I was the shop official cleaner."

Rei spoke softly, "Like old-time apprenticeship?"

Andy stored the shotgun in its box. "Wanna learn?"

"I am very curious. It is like playing with the nature of reality." She took Rollie's mask, and looked at it again. Every wrinkle, every pore, every blemish on the skin. Even the hair looked disturbingly natural.

George cleared his throat, this was a road he was not really to talk about openly. "Then it's agreed. You kids clean the shop. Rollie, Andy, after signing contracts, we would like for you two to list your needs so we can look for the right place to set shop."

"Well, at our usual level, we just need a small warehouse. The truck has our tools and some raw stuff." Rollie sat on a wooden box.

Doc nodded, "We aim for something much bigger, Rollie. Imagine a studio dedicated solely to FX. Practical, make-up, sets, props, and eventually, animation. I foresee a moment when computers will create amazing shots."

Rollie was about to object. "Let me finish, please. Computers will be able to do amazing things, but unless there's somebody guiding them, they won't be anything but a toy. Remember King-Kong? The original, I mean."

Rollie nodded, "A favorite of mine, actually."

"There are several shots, maybe lasting one or two seconds, that must have required long hours of work to film. Those shots serve no purpose but to make the creatures do something, unnecessary for the plot. Breathing, scratching, looking around."

Rollie smiled, he curved his fingers to scratch the base of his jaw, George clapped, "That one! The tyrannosaurus does that!" He turned to Lorraine, "Just that, scratch the jaw!"

"George? Why is that important?"

"Because it convinces you that the tyrannosaurus is a living creature! Not a toy!"

"We could create the best looking dinosaur with a computer, or with a rubber suit, or even a mechanical puppet, but unless it behaves like an animal, the illusion will fall flat (4)." Doc mused, "Rollie, that kind of computer is still several years in the future, but once it arrives, it will change everything."

Rollie fell silent. He tapped his thin lips with a finger. "Let's put a pin on that for now. There's another thing. I like Hill Valley, but… isn't it a bit small and far away to be a good place for a studio?"

"Ah, you see, we plan on using that to our advantage. There is a wide variety of environments in and close to Hill Valley. Natural locations vary from forest to desert, valley to hills, rivers and lake. During the late 1950s, several low-budget westerns were filmed here, for example." George observed. "We can offer good locations around town, still close to civilization, add to that a fully equipped FX workshop, with film-processing capabilities, and we should be putting Hill Valley on the tv and film map! Not the next Hollywood, but a good place to work at. I'll check with Mayor Wilson (5) about permits and incentives, anything to help bolster the town's economy is guaranteed to catch his attention."

"I don't know, Doc." Andy said. "Directors and producers are traditionalists and some can be very, very stingy! Actors can be more accommodating, unless they get their heads too big." Andy and Rollie exchanged a look. "I could tell you stories…" he said.

"I guess that comes with the territory." Doc waved a hand. "Point is, we establish a good, solid, dependable, and not too expensive site. If we get to be attractive enough, work will come. Not only movies and tv shows. I'm thinking ads and special stuff. You need props? We make them by the dozen and ship them all over the country." He paused, pulled a notebook and set down a note. "Sorry, where was I? Oh, yes. We develop, create, and ship props, equipment. Heck, why not go to the top? Establish ourselves as the place where movie magic happens? Visual effects, sound effects, props, make-up. Anything!"

Doc paused for a moment, "Plus, we could, with some licensing, tap into a very niche market. Collector props! Exact duplicates of movie props."

"Is there a market for that?" Rollie asked, incredulous. "I know collectors pay huuuge amounts for props and attire from movies, but for copies? I doubt it. The people who want them can't pay for them, and the people who could pay won't want them."

"Ah, it's a matter of time, I guess. But it's something I'd like to include in our future contracts. Licensing high quality copies of our movie props in exchange of discounts or other premiums."

Winston approached the small group. "Um, Doc? I think I can help with the studio stuff. I've been taking courses of accounting and business, and would like to do something more useful than just tuning the cars and making sure Egon and Ray don't cause an explosion."

"That would be perfect, Winston! What do you guys say?" He turned to Rollie and Andy.

"I would like to do things my way for a while. I've been working mostly solo most of my career. But, I am not against the idea of having somebody wearing the producer hat. Andy?"

"The same. Let's all start at the bottom and see how things go."

Winston shook their hands, "Then we have a deal."

Instrumentality

Even in paradise, she heard, or better said, she felt, the pain and hurt in the teenager's words.

Though she had had a long time of happiness, she knew it was fake.

She knew the price of that bliss.

Knew who had paid said price.

Her old regrets came back.

The things she had done, the things she had not done.

What she had allowed to happen.

She remembered the old saying. "All that is needed for evil to triumph, is that good men do nothing."

The words echoed in her mind. Again and again.

Instrumentality cracked.

A minute crack.

Barely noticeable.

Just a crack.

A bubble rose up.

Still… Instrumentality had an iron grip on her soul.

Fake happiness was still happiness.

In the bottom of her mind, she knew it was time to drop the façade.

Instrumentality changed around her.

Instead of the fake reality she had constructed around her needs and wants, it was a copy of her real life.

From the moment she had gotten involved with NERV.

The Evangelion Project

The children

The Angels War

Everything up to that last, desperate, soul-destroying last day.

Líes.

Loss.

Anger.

Betrayals.

Fear.

Desperation.

A last attempt to save the world that ended in pain and death, even before Third Impact could finish her.

The taste of blood in her mouth, the smell of gunpowder in her nose.

Feeling her very life pouring to the floor beneath her as darkness claimed her.

Knowing she had…

She had…

…failed.

Another bubble rose.

And Instrumentality reasserted itself once again.

But there was a crack.

An like a dam, once a crack appeared, only one thing could happen.

Author Notes

(1) Asuka is referring to 2001, A Space Odissey. The ship's computer HAL-9000, spies the two astronauts as they discuss recent events in a sound-proof section. Though HAL can't listen, it can read their lips.

(2) The title of one of the Gaunt's Ghosts novels by Dan Abnett, part of the Warhammer 40,000 setting. It refers to the religious fanatism prevalent in the Imperium in the 41st Millenium. Basically, how their faith in the Emperor actually protects people with powerful enough belief from corruption by the Chaos Gods. In this story, Asuka doesn't know about the game or the novels, it is just her way to describe her attitude in College. However, in The story Customes & Games, by Panther2g, Asuka is a huge fan of 40k, and many of the boxes she had at Misato contained her gaming books and minis, or even cosplay clothes. It's a fun and WAFFy story, highly reccomended.

(3) The God-Damned tip of the iceberg.

(4) This scene refers to an anecdote during Jurassic Park pre-production. Originally, the dinosaurs were to be animated with Stop-Motion, but early testing of CGI animation convinced Stephen Spielberg to use computers for many shots (if you the the whole dinosaur, it's CGI). On seeing the tests, Phil Tippet, the animator on charge of the stop-Motion, thought his work wasn't needed anymore, to which Spielberg said something like "Are you crazy? We want somebody who knows how the animals move to make it real! Phil, you are that guy."

(5) Goldie Wilson, Hill Valley's Mayor.

Kudos to michael68 for the discussion about having Winston take an administrative role in the running of the studio.