-Luigi's Drama-

Little Mac woke up expecting to do this usual miserable routine. It was always waking up, doing push ups, sit ups, and then waiting for breakfast to come. After breakfast he would talk to himself for hours. It was at the point where he started to go crazy. He imagined Kirby talking to him. It was the one thing that got him through the day.

Today was different. He woke up like usual, but when he got out of bed he noticed there was someone in his cell.

"Aaaaaah!" Little Mac screamed.

"Waaaaah!" Luigi screamed back.

"W-when did you get here?"

"About 10 minutes ago."

"Dude, you fucking scared me."

"I'm-a sorry."

Little Mac finally had someone to talk to. It was Luigi, but it's better than having no one. He could use this chance to get to know the guy better. Ah, but poor guy. He most likely got framed or somethin'. He's too sweet and innocent to be in a place like this. He's definitely internally freaking out. Perhaps Little Mac could make it feel homey here.

"I know we barely talked to each other before, but I'm Little Mac. You're probably thinkin' that I'm a bad guy, but trust me, I won't do anything to hurt ya," Little Mac smiled.

"Waah."

"It's ok. I don't bite. I just look scary, but I'm actually a cinnamon roll."

"Waaah."

"Is that a weird thing to say? Here, let me start ova. I'm Little Mac. A boxer from the broncs."

"H-hello."

"And you're Luigi, a Mario brotha. Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too."
"I know this is sudden, but what are you in here for?"

"I uh, I'd rather not say."

"No worries, bro."

"Awww, fuck it! I'mma just gonna say it!"

"O-oh, ok."

"I tried to have my way with Ness!"

"I'm sorry, what?"

"I tried to rape Ness."

"The… THE ASIAN DUDE?!"

"Yes."

"Hold on. Wait. How old is he?"

"19."

"How old are you?"

"36."

"Holy shit!"

"Ha…Ha…"

"G-GUARDS! HEY GUARDS!"

Wario and Waluigi walk over to their cell.

Wario: "Waaah! What?"

Little Mac: "Did you hear what this guy tried to do?"

Wario: "What?"

Little Mac: "He's in here for attempted rape. Like… Can he get out of here?"

Wario: "No."

Little Mac: "Why? There are six empty cells."

Luigi: "I don't want you. I want Ness."

Little Mac: "I don't know that. You tried to rape a guy. I'm a guy. See why I'm uncomfortable."

Luigi: "I'm not into you. I'm in love with Ness."

Little Mac: "Holy fuck. C'mon Wario man, help a brotha out."

Wario: "No."

Wario and Waluigi started walking away from the cell. In fact they kept walking away.

Little Mac: "Wait! Where are you two goin'? Come back!"

Wario and Waluigi: "No."

Little Mac: "Son of a bitch!"

Little Mac pulled on the bars and made a bunch of noise, but the guards didn't return. They're gone. It's just Little Mac and Luigi now.

"Alright, here's what we're gonna do," Little Mac said.

"Hah…"

Little Mac took off his shoe and his sock. He threw the sock in the middle of the room.

"Alright, now get to the other side of the room," Little Mac ordered.

Luigi listened and walked away from the boxer.

"See that sock? Don't go over it, or we gonna have problems," Little Mac threatened.

"But how am I going to sleep? The bunk bed is on your side."

"Fine! You can go to the top bunk but only to sleep. You stay away from me, creepy green man."

"Ok."

"Man, this shit's crazy. If only Kirby were here instead," Little Mac mumbled to himself.

"Kirby?"

"Yeah, you know her?"

"I kissed her."

"OH HELL NAH! I'm going to beat yo ass."

"Wait! WAIT!"

Little Mac cracked his knuckles and took a step forward.

"YOU CAN'T CROSS THE SOCK!" Luigi screamed.

"Shit… You're right."

"I was drunk when I kissed her. I'm-a sorry. But if it makes you feel better, I don't want her."

"Yeah, you better stay away from my girl."

"I want Ness."

"Uh.. Ok?"

"He's the only one for me."

"Ok, you said that like three times already. You can stop."

"I just want you to know that I'm not after Kirby anymore."

"Ok yes, thank you."

"I'm in love with Ness."

"I got it. You can stop talking about him now."

"Sorry."

A moment of silence passes.

"So uh… I have to pee," Luigi said.

"Then pee."

"I can't. The toilet is on your side."

"Dude, if you have to pee then pee."

"Ok."

Little Mac goes to his bed and closes his eyes. He heard Luigi peeing. Oh gross. This is the price of sharing a cell with someone. Minutes go by and the air smells like piss. He turns around and sees that Luigi pissed his own pants.

"Dude! What the fuck!" Little Mac yelled.

"You said if I have to pee, then I should pee."

"In the toilet!"

"But the sock…"

"GUARDS! GUAAARRRDDSS!"

…

-Back And Ready To Attack-

Ness's heart skipped a beat. Clone Sonic and him locked eyes.

"Oh, hey, Sonic," Ness forced a smile.

"What're you doing here?"

"I can ask you the same."

"I always clean the bunker on Tuesdays. What's your excuse?"

"I wanted to be alone."

"Is it because of Luigi?"

(Luigi? What about Luigi?) "Y-yes."

"I'm sorry about that."

"It's ok."

"I wish I was there to protect you."

What did Luigi do to the Ness clone? Oh wait. Oh no… Luigi probably found out that the real Ness went missing. He took it out on the clone instead. Ness didn't know exactly what happened between the clone and Luigi, but he had an idea. If Luigi was successful… That poor clone. Even he doesn't deserve that.

"You ok?" Sonic asked.

"Y-yeah, sorry. Um, yeah sorry I just wanted some alone time."

"I get that, but unfortunately if I don't clean the bunker now, I'll get in trouble."

"Yeah, got it."

Ness left the bunker leaving Sonic to clean it. God, is he Mario's fucking lapdog? He acts nothing like the real Sonic. He's such a little bitch. And everyone calls Ness the dog. Tch! Laughable.

Well now that Sonic is cleaning the bunker, should he go to Melee Mountain and free his fellow prisoners? No. Patience. He needs that gun. Without it, Mario's entire plan will fall. If he frees his cave mates and they decide to do their plan earlier, he would never forgive himself.

It's fine, he'll try again tomorrow. He walked around and saw a cute little cafe. Moonspoon cafe, huh? Hey, isn't this Lucas's favorite place to eat omelets? They've been here before. Yeah, he remembers this place. Oh wow, this is where he met Tina.

-Flashback-

Ness remembered going in there with Lucas. Lucas ordered an omelet and he had a breakfast sandwich. They were talking about video games until Lucas needed to go to the bathroom. He put on his headphones and listened to music while eating. That's when he saw her. She wore street style clothes. It looked good on her. He saw that she was holding a skateboard. She's a skater girl! He couldn't help but find her attractive.

When she got her order he noticed that she also ordered the same thing. She took out a notebook from her backpack and started doodling while listening to music. She likes the same things that he does! Could it be fate?

"Hey," Lucas greeted.

Ness snapped out of his trance. His face feels hot. Oh god, is he blushing? How embarrassing. She's not looking right?

"Um, Ness?" Lucas waved his hand in front of Ness's face.

"Oh hi! Sorry."

"You good?"

"It's hot in here. Let's eat outside."

"Ok!"

-End Of Flashback-

So that's how it all started, huh? That was a year ago. Wow, and he still has a crush even though he can't even talk to her. Makes no sense. He'd think he would move on already. Yet last night he had a cringy fantasy of dating her.

He almost didn't walk inside the cafe. Almost. He was hungry and he still had some cash left. He walked inside. This place hasn't changed one bit. The cafe smelled of fresh coffee and bread. He walked up to the barista and ordered a breakfast sandwich. He knows it's late, but who cares. Breakfast food is delicious any time of the day.

It didn't take long for his order to be done. He thanked the barista and sat on the same table from a year ago. He began eating his food. Luckily Lucky is being a good boy and staying in his ball. In fact, he ever since evolved, he's less likely to get out of his ball without permission. What's up with that? Is Lucky like a teenager now?

Bell Chimes

He looked over to see who entered the cafe. He instinctively put his hood on. He always had to be on guard just in case it was… Wait, is that Tina? No fucking way. W-what're you the odds?!

He watched her order the same thing as him. He felt deja vu. She sat down and started eating her food. She hasn't noticed him yet. He couldn't stop staring at her. God, he needs to stop. He's being creepy. He shook his head and went back to minding his own business.

Bell Chimes

He ignored it and continued eating. If he looks then he'll look her way and he'll stare like a creep.

"So this is where you went to hide," A guy said.

"Darnell, what the fuck? You followed me here?" Tina scoffed.

What? Who's Darnell? Ness looked at their direction. That guy is another inkling. He and Tina must be friends.

"So, where's your boyfriend?" Darnell flicked her hair.

"Don't touch me."

"Come on, stop acting like this. I just want us to be friends. I'm not asking to fuck or anything."

"I said leave me alone."

"I can't… FUCKING BELIEVE YOU! After everything we've done? You're going to ghost me like that?"

"Eww your breath reeks of alcohol. Have you been drinking again?"

"So what if I have?!"

"I hate it when you're drunk."

"I don't give a fuck, you're not my girlfriend anymore. I can do what I want!"

"Then why are you here?"

"Whatchu mean?"

"You know I hate it when you drink because you become violent. If you don't care how I feel, how do you expect me to come back to you?"

"This is the problem with women these days. All they want to do is to change men to their liking."

"I didn't say that."

"What, you think you're too good for me now because I drink?"

"You're losing me."

"I ain't losing you again," he said, grabbing her wrist.

"Dude, let go."

"What're you gonna do? I'm stronger than you. I'm stronger than everyone in this damn cafe."

"DUDE, LET GO!"

"You know we're meant to be!"

Ness looked over to the baristas. They looked too scared to do anything. He doesn't blame them. This Darnell guy is tall and he was buff. However, Darnell didn't intimidate him. If no one is going to help her, then he gladly will.

He stood up from his seat and approached the two.

"She said let go," Ness grabbed Darnell's arm tight.

"Yeah? What's shortie gonna do?"

"You got three seconds to let go of my hand or else I'm gonna knock the shit out of you."

"Do it."

"Oh yeah? You want me to?"

"Yeah, do it."

Darnell swung his other arm at him, but Ness moved his head to the left. He twisted Darnell's arm and then shoved him which caused Darnell to fall on the floor. Darnell got up and tried to go for a kick, but Ness was able to easily dodge.

"Are you sure you're a smash character?" Ness laughed.

"Shut the fuck up!"

"Someone's mad."

Darnell tried to punch him again, but Ness caught his fist.

"You're not so strong without your gun, are you?"

"Let go of my hand you gay fag!"

Ness didn't know what came over him, but he let out a chuckle. He let go and left the cafe. He motioned Darnell to follow him outside. Darnell gladly accepted the challenge.

The two stared each other down for a couple seconds. Darnell struck first. He ran at him and tried to knee Ness on the stomach. The psychic jumped and kicked Darnell right on the face. The inkling stumbled backwards. Ness landed back on the floor and smiled. He didn't even use this chance to attack. He waited for Darnell to initiate.

Once Darnell gained his balance, he was hesitant. However, he wanted to look tough in front of Tina, so he went in for another attack. Ness didn't even bother attacking back, he dodged and extended his leg causing Darnell to fall on his face. He managed to sit up and covered his nose with his hands.

"We done here?" Ness looked down on him.

"Fuck off!"

"I think we're done here."

"..."

Ness walked back inside the cafe. He sat on his table and continued to eat. He felt proud of himself. He wondered if Tina thought he was cool. Although his face was covered. She probably didn't even realize it was him.

"Hey. I just wanted to say thanks," Tina took a seat next to him.

Oh god, she's sitting on his table. She's… She's right next to him. His whole badass feeling left him. He started to feel nervous and shy.

"O-oh y-you're welcome," he said, quietly.

She grabbed his hood and flipped it off.

"Ness?" She widened her eyes.

"Haha… It's me…"

"Wow! That was fucking cool."

"You think so?"

"Yeah, dude. You never cease to amaze me."

"R-really? You think I'm cool?"

"Of course I do."

"Thanks. I think you're cool too."

"Where have you been? It's been a couple days since we talked. Last time we talked, you left in a hurry."

"Y-yeah, sorry about that."

"Oh shit, you ordered the same sandwich?"

"Oh, I guess I did."

"Breakfast food for dinner, huh?"

"Yeah, haha…"

"You're just like me. Breakfast food should be anytime food."

"No way! My friends always judge me for it."

"Psssh! Lame."

"Sometimes I eat cereal for dinner."

"Saaaame."

"I uh, can I ask you a question."

"Go for it."

"Who was that guy?"

"My ex."

"Oh…"

"He was chill at first, but the more I got to know him, the more I realized what an absolute jerk he was."

"He seems to have anger issues."

"He's also a controlling asshole."

"Like how?"

"He wanted me to be a traditional woman."

"Like cleaning the house?"

"Yeah."

"That's weird."

"I know right? I ain't gonna do that all by myself."

"But cleaning is so satisfying. Especially when you can listen to music."

"I can see us cleaning and jamming out together."

"T-together?" *Blushes*

"I actually don't mind cleaning. I just don't like doing it alone."

"Yeah, ok. In the future, I would totally be down to help you clean your room."

"Oh, speaking of my room, it's a total mess right now."

"Ah…" (That's right Luigi and I fought in her room.)

"Luigi was in my room cuffed. Like what the fuck! I called the guards and he got arrested. He's in jail right now."

He wanted to tell her what happened. He didn't want to lie to her face and pretend that he didn't know what happened. However, if he did tell her, what would she think? She might not like him because fighting some guy in her room is crazy. She'll think he's crazy. Even though it wasn't his fault. Luigi wanted to kill her and he wanted to make sure she was ok. But then his hero complex took over and they fought in her room.

He could've lured Luigi out, but he didn't want anyone else to get involved. Then again, he didn't think about how her room would've suffered. At that moment all he could think of was defeating Luigi.

Ah, but she's giving out this vibe that he could trust her. He didn't know why, but she felt safe. She seems like an understanding person. He almost felt this way with Lucas, but the blonde was known to panic and blow things out of proportion. Also not to mention that he still felt bad for ruining Lucas's childhood because of Pokey. A part of him still felt like Lucas hated him for it.

"Hey, you ok?" Tina asked.

"Can I tell you something?"

"Of course."

"You promise you won't be freaked out?"

"Nope."

"Ok, so Luigi is like obsessed with me. I'm when and why, but he is. He broke into my room and tried to…"

"I see."

"Yeah. And then he started talking about how you're in the way."

"Jealousy."

"Yeah… Then he ran to your room to go kill you. I ran after him and we fought. That's why your room is all messed up."

"Wow. Luigi? I would've never guessed."

"He's not as innocent as he seems. Trust me, I fell into the same trap."

"That's fucking crazy."

"It's true though."

"I believe you. I'm just saying that this whole situation is crazy. God, I'm sorry you had to deal with that."

"It's ok. In a way we defeated him together. I mean, because you called the guards. I just sort of left him there. Sorry about that."

"Nah you're good. You did all the dirty work, so thank you."

She praised him. He started feeling all giddy inside. However, he started to doubt himself. What if she's just saying all this to be nice? Besides, she didn't fall for him. She fell for the clone. His smile faded away into a frown. He couldn't help but start to feel anxious.

"Hey, you ok?" She patted his back.

"Yeah…"

"Tell me."

"I'm ok."

"Let's make a deal."

"Huh?"

"I'll tell you an embarrassing secret but you gotta tell me what's wrong. Sound fair?"

"H-huh?!"