What We Do In the Shadows: "The Fiendish Plot of (human) Laszlo and Nadja Cravensworth"…

Summary: Back in the regular but sort of AU universe of WWDITS, you thought the season was about Guillermo. It wasn't. (Well, in this AU anyhow.)

Part VIII…

Nandor on sofa in the living room of the Residence, ghost of Marwa hovering just above, in the medieval Middle Eastern outfit she'd worn at her first corporeal appearance, courtesy, the Dijnn …Offering beaming smile to camera, with fond looks to Nandor…Who nods to her, a bit sheepishly.

"Yes…" Nandor sighs. "I've made contact with the soul of my late Marwa. As she was in the beginning, before I manipulated her physical form with help of my dijnn."

His dijnn? The Djinn frowns to us from a corner down the hall.

I'm an independent contractor, not some sort of errand boy/medieval slave, geesh.

"They were interesting modifications…" Marwa's glowing, hovering ghost notes gently.

"I'm sorry, dearest. It's just…Eternity can wear on one a bit. One likes some variety at times."

"I've only been physically summoned a year…" she notes. "But I told you it was all right, husband. Heck, you're much easier-going than in the 1270s."

"True enough, I suppose." He nods. "Anyway, after my little act of whatever…"

"Beautiful redemption…" Marwa, proudly. "And two such…" firmly.

"Thanks, dear…Yes, well, after the thing with the Freddies, original and clone…I realized I was actually missing true Marwa. She grows on one, as she did in the 1260s-70s. And so…Her soul in ghost form heard my plea and came to me. And said it was hokey be dokey regards my dijnn manipulation." Fond smile to her form.

"It never really touched my true self and soul." Marwa explains. "Else I'd be in London now. Of course it hurt a bit that Nandor was bored with me, but…" careful nod. "If the demonic essence of your husband in vampire calls to plead for your forgiveness, come on…If you ever loved him, you've got to listen."

"Hmmn…Yes…" Nandor agrees. "After all that she was sweet enough to come and comfort me in my loneliness."

"I would have come so much sooner, dearest. I wanted to, truly." Marwa sighs. "But your residual evil nature kind of said…'Keep off'. Till your unselfish acts…Oh!" she beams. "Remind these nice people with their optical recording devices of the other one."

"Well…Really was not such of a big deal." Nandor, modestly. "I realized Guillermo didn't really wish to be a vampire, not cut out for the life/Unlife, really, and I helped him go back to Humanity."

"Dracula and Van Helsing in reverse, the vampire doing the saving…" Marwa, proudly. "And he is so modest about it."

"Did my old Wallachian nemesis, that son of a bastard, Vlad, really pull off Redemption?" Nandor eyes her. She nodding…

"For the love of his true love, the Countess Elisabete." she smiles.

"I'm sorry." Nandor, hastily. "I know I should have done it long ago, for you. Or one of the kids…"

"But you did…" she beams. "It was our reconnection, your unconscious plea summoning of me…Lets remember the one you kept around…" smile. "…that put you on the path. Hell, Dracula didn't just jump on the Redemption wagon. Elisabete had to come back many times before he realized success. Not to mention he had Dr. Van Helsing to assist." Beam.

"That is true, I suppose…" Nandor reflects. "The sob had lots of help I didn't get."

"But as soon as you opened the door, I came through…And you did the rest, my husband…George Bailey and redeemed Scrooge rolled into one." She notes happily.

"We've been watching a lot of holiday movies among others…" Nandor explains. "Marwa had some impressions from her physical self, ghost hovering, and such but needed a bit more to get a handle on this century."

("Not really…" Marwa's hovering ghost sheepishly explains to camera, later, in living room. "I was pretty much up front in restored Marwa until his manipulations changed me too far and I lost some contact. But I so enjoyed spending quality holiday time with him this last week, I had to suggest I needed more information. Plus, those movies really got to him. It was so sweet. He cried over George Bailey at the bridge. And Alister Sim just blew him away as Scrooge. Reminded him of a mad Sultan commander who came to a bad end but earned afterlife redemption after getting over the 'mad' thing." Shy grin. "I never doubted his sweet, when not bloodlusting on campaign, soul, but that's damned fine for a demonic essence, eh?")

Present…

"So…Realizing I really do want to be with my dear wife over time eternal. And ready to take that next step on the way to Redemption City…I have made my fateful decision." Nandor, firmly.

"Just a matter now of how…" he shrugs.

"He really shouldn't need to do more…Look at all he's done." Marwa, insistent, firm nod of ghostly head with antique headdress.

"But…Seems I haven't quite crossed the bridge as yet." Nandor sighs.

"It's for me, really." Marwa beams. "He wants me to have a physical body again."

"Well, as I understand it…I'm likely stuck here to achieve the full deal…" Nandor notes. "It requires a bit of good deeds, saving mortals, helping curb suffering, defeating evil…You know the drill. It's likely I'll be staying for a while minus demon essence."

"It's expected." Marwa nods. "If you prefer Purgatory or Heaven…To at best a kind of Limbo." Shrugs.

"Did you convert over the centuries?" Nandor, staring… "You sound very Catholic. Which is fine by me…" raises hand to her look. "Just want to be sure we agree on what to teach any kids in the future."

Marwa, raising eyebrows archly…Oh, there will be kids…You better believe it. If it takes another miracle, she did not have to say, firm stare.

"And I suppose it would be nice to be a sort of soulful semi-vampire hero…" Nandor notes. Marwa eagerly nodding…

My soulful semi-vampiric hero…

"Anyway, not insisting or wishing to press…" Nandor, carefully. "It would be nice to have the missus around in the flesh. Though given my sins…If Vlad Dracula can hold off the whoopee with the wife for a few centuries…"

"Naturally I want to be there for Nandor…Physically." Marwa notes. "And we did have a fantastic sexual relationship back then. You people may think you know it all but I tell you… It's a shame you didn't get to record it in detail when I first returned. But once we work things out..."

"I am certain there's one wish I forgot…I just need a recount." Nandor nods. Marwa echoing nod.

No, you didn't…The Dijnn, faintly.

"And if not, something can be arranged. I have heard they do amazing things with head and brain transplants now. How hard can a soul infusion be?…If we can find a volunteer…Say someone with a fatal disease we could cure after the infusion…? Well…Plenty of useless people with hopeless lives out there we could grab to use." shrug.

"He's working on the morality/compassion thing." Marwa notes, a bit sheepishly. "But we'll work it out."

"Indeed." Nandor agrees. "Wait! I've got it. You take the lamp, Marwa, you get 50 odd wishes! Brilliant, right?" eager look.

"Guys…" the Dijnn, appearing before them, frowning. "Have I jerked you around like the guy in the 'Twilight Zone' or other tales of my kind? Rather unfair depictions, by the way. It's not like I'm a leprechaun, I've been up front with you, no bizarre tricks or manipulations. Fifty odd wishes per client, includes family. And the lady is spirit, not corporeal."

"Sounds a bit racist to me." Nandor, sententiously.

"Do you really want to piss me off?" the Dijnn eyes him, sternly.

"Dearest…I think we will have to work this one out ourselves." Marwa's ghost notes. "Sorry, he's just anxious to help me." Apologetically.

"Fine. And I do feel for you, both." The Dijnn nods. "But rules are rules."

"Very well. A challenge to prove my devotion. If Vlad Dracula can do it, Nandor the Relentless can." Nandor, firmly. Marwa beaming…Oh…

"Sure, that's nice." The Dijnn, shrugging.

"Hmmn? Oh, the essence to Hell thing?" Nandor responds to question from director. "Yes, a part of me's gotta go. But I've met my soul and we're the sympatico. The personality remains, more or less, after all, minus the bloodlust and hideous evil…"

"Which my Nandor has quite overcome…Mostly." Marwa, proudly. "Not even Barnabas Collins has fought the evil so well."

"We've been watching a lot of vampire stuff on TV as well…" Nandor notes. "Wanted to be sure she was up to speed on everything."

"I still can't understand that Buffy…" Marwa, shaking head. "Let your love burn to death after he wins his soul back? Kill people you can help restore?"

"Well, she was just a kid." Nandor shrugs. "And you say the true Slayer only kills when she can't save."

"Dr. Van Helsing's ghost says she's a very nice girl."

"Hmmn…And she's Vlad Dracula's foster daughter…He would manage that." Frown.

"It's nice for Elisabete. She'd never got to have children before…You know." Cautious look.

"I know…And I am sorry. But I never meant for her to commit suicide, sending that head over the walls with a note that Vlad had been killed was a military stratagem." Nandor sighs. "And I was a bit more in the grip of evil then."

"She forgives you. I told you." Marwa patting. "She and Vlad did some things…Even I wasn't always kind as I should have been to my slave attendants." Sad look.

"Nonsense…You were an angel to them." Shake of head. "I can only remember one decapitation for theft."

"My mother's brooch. I was angry." Sigh.

"And the girl was guilty…"

"Yeah…But I could have settled for lopping off one hand…Just saying we've all done things we regret, my darling." Fond look.

"Well, my demonic essence must pay, I suppose. Only fair." He notes.

"Of course…It would ease my demonic essence pain in the afterlife if I know…" eyeing Marwa.

"Yes, yes…We can keep Johan. We'll find a nice old nag who wants to move on and have him take residence." She nods.

"She's one of the good ones, eh?" Nandor, beaming to camera. "But, of course, we'll get a horse for you, dear. You were quite a horsewoman in those days." Fond smile. "And I have heard there are riding trails around here."

"That'll be nice but I think what I really want is a nice little car for us both, say a Honda? Nothing too fancy, just dependable." She notes. "I'd really love to try driving."

"What the hell…" the Dijnn sighs. "That I can help you with, consider it a rewedding present." He offers card to Nandor.

"My brother resumed mortality a decade ago, he has a car dealership in Queens. Tell him I sent you, he'll treat you right." He notes.

…