Leia had never been to Tatooine before. Her studies and lessons had taught her about countless planets, cultures, and languages, but there was only so much she could learn. She had focused her attention on the planets that had been part of the old Republic that her dad spoke so fondly of. She learned about the core planets, and the main systems in the primary trading routes, because she knew that her career, whether it be as a politician or in the rebellion, would bring her there someday.
Tatooine was one of the many planets that she knew only by name. She knew that it was a desert planet, and she could probably remember the names of the suns if she had a moment to think about it. She knew it was under the control of the Hutts, and like many outer-rim planets it was home to thieves, pirates, and other such lowlifes. She knew that Tatooine was one of many planets that practiced slavery, and that was all she'd learned. Leia had thought that was all the information she would ever need about such an insignificant planet.
Now Leia felt like an entitled fool. The ignorant princess that many people thought she was when they first met her. Tatooine may have been a distant planet in Leia's life, barely worth even remembering that it was part of the same galaxy, but this was Luke's home. It was his culture. If she really wanted Luke to be part of her life, and she did, she needed to know about his planet, or else she was going to insult him again and push him away.
When Luke announced that he wanted to go to visit their grandmother's grave, Anakin had seemed reluctant to go through with it. But he agreed without any persuasion needed. Soon they were flying away from the docking bay and headed towards the desert. Luke looked absolutely exhausted, but Leia could feel his excitement. He was about to go home. Leia could understand his feelings, and she was happy for him that he could feel home even after everything he had been going through, but she still felt the need to caution him.
"You need to be careful talking to your aunt and uncle." Leia knew that their grandmother's grave was located near the home where Luke had grown up. "Remember, they're not your family. Not really." Leia knew that first hand from her interaction with Bail. It was so easy to be disappointed that it couldn't be what they wanted it to be.
"I know." Luke said. "That's what I'm trying to tell myself."
Leia took his hand. "You'll get back to them." She didn't know how or when, but Leia would see them returned to their own time if she had to fight the Force itself to make it happen. "And until you're home, I'll be right here with you."
Luke gave her a small, playful smile. "Does that mean you'll leave me the second we get home?" His tone was teasing, but Leia could feel the genuine concern. She nudged his shoulder.
"You're stuck with me, Brother." Leia said. "Someone has to teach you some manners."
Luke smiled at her. He really was so bright. Leia could feel his energy almost as much as the Tatooine suns, except it didn't burn. This was a comforting warmth that she never wanted to be away from.
"Then I guess I'll teach you how to have fun." Luke said. "I bet for a princess like you, reading a fictional book is the closest thing you have to fun." And Leia laughed, because he wasn't exactly wrong. Oh, there were plenty of things she did that she enjoyed, but she didn't do things for fun.
It wasn't long before they landed near a domed building that Lars said was a moisture farm. It looked far too small for anybody to live in, but Luke just laughed when Leia pointed it out.
"That's just the entrance and the indicator that there's something here." Luke said. "Most of it is underground." Luke pointed to what Leia had thought was a line of piled dirt. "The main hall that connects the rooms is over there in that crater. Half the time I just jump into the hole instead of going through the front door." Luke chuckled to himself. "Uncle Owen hates it."
"That sounds like my dad." Leia smiled. She couldn't believe she could find amusement in something that annoyed her so much at home. "I like to explore the gardens, and sometimes I'm there for too long and I don't have enough time to get ready for a meeting, so instead of running down the halls and letting everyone know that I'm late, I climb the wall and slip through the balcony to get right into my room. My dad hates it."
"I bet he told you you were going to fall and break your neck." Luke snorted. It was clear that it was a lecture he had received more times than he could count. Leia had thought that all kids were lectured like this, but now she wondered if maybe not everybody could scale or jump multiple stories without a scratch or a hint of fear. Maybe this had something to do with the Force.
Leia would need to have stern words with her father about the Force and her abilities. And she also needed to give him a strong hug and apologize for probably scaring him half to death so frequently.
"I'd like to see your home." Leia said. She could count on one hand the number of homes she had been invited into that weren't elaborate mansions. She really needed to see more than the elite life she hadn't realized she was so blinded by.
Luke's smile faded slightly. She didn't need the Force to know what was wrong. She took his hand.
"When we get back to our own time." Leia said. She wasn't going to make Luke interact with the people that weren't quite his aunt and uncle, even if they were Beru and Owen.
Luke gave her a small smile. "As long as you get me a tour of your home."
"Done." Leia said. She couldn't wait to bring Luke to Alderaan.
Luke and Leia spent the short flight away from the cockpit, wanting a little bit of privacy. Anakin and Padmé spent the flight together, and if Leia was less worried about Luke and hadn't been taught to ignore gossip, she would try to look deeper into the significant glances shared between Anakin and Padmé. She would look into the drastic differences in height between Anakin and her and Luke, and the way that they were much closer in stature to Padmé.
Padmé, who was close friends to Bail, or had told Leia that he was close friends with her birth mother, and he knew she would be proud of her. Padmé, whose home Luke had ended up in.
Leia had suspicions, and she wanted to talk to Luke about them, but he hadn't mentioned a word about his mother. Only his father. He was already going through so much, and they were here for a very specific reason. She didn't want to distract and upset him. Sharing her theories about who their mother was could wait a little longer.
Luke and Leia exited the ship, but waited in the shade while Anakin and Padmé went to speak to the Lars'. Luke specifically didn't want to see them, and Anakin thought they might be more welcoming to letting strangers visit Shmi's grave if he 'explained' things first.
The story that Anakin had come up with was that Luke and Leia were orphans who had recently lost their parents, who had been helped out of slavery by Shmi, and Luke and Leia wanted to pay their respects. She thought the story was more than a little convoluted, but Luke assured her it wasn't an uncommon thing. He'd remembered the very thing happening two or three times when he was younger. He said it was a part of their culture, to grieve the death of the one who gave you life, whether that be a parent, a friend or stranger who kept you from taking that last step off the ledge, or the person who freed you from slavery.
Leia was curious about the culture and she wanted to learn more, but that could wait. Anakin and Padmé were walking back towards them. Leia couldn't help but notice that they were holding hands as they walked out of the homestead, and then immediately put some distance between them as they approached the ship. Leia may not know many kids her age, but she still knew teenagers with more subtlety than these two.
"Owen says you're welcome to take all the time you need." Anakin said to Luke. "Cliegg is there right now, but Beru said that he won't mind some company."
Luke blinked. "Cliegg?" He sounded shocked and in near awe. Leia gave him an odd look, but he didn't explain what was going on in his mind. She wondered if he ever did.
Anakin's mouth thinned. "Cliegg Lars. My mother's husband." It was clear from Anakin's tone of voice that he didn't really have any feelings about the man. The slightly teary and eager look in Luke's eyes told Leia that he didn't share their father's indifference. Even if they weren't related, Luke saw Cliegg as his grandfather. Based on how Luke looked both upset and happy, Leia wondered if Cliegg was dead in their time as well.
Had Luke ever had the chance to get to know his grandfather, or was this the opportunity he'd probably never dreamed he could have?
Luke started walking towards the back of the house where Leia could see a number of headstones. A man in a power chair sat before the graves. Even from this distance Leia could feel the sadness and weakness coming off from this man. It broke her heart. She heard Luke make a small sound of discontent, and she knew he felt it too. She squeezed his hand.
Anakin kept his distance from Cliegg, looking at his mother's grave from a distance. Leia would have stayed back as well to leave a grieving old man alone. This wasn't her land. This wasn't her family, even if it was her blood. It wasn't that she didn't care, but while this scene made her sad it was in a distant kind of way. She didn't want to intrude on the deep sorrow that Cliegg must be feeling.
Luke didn't have any such reservations. When Leia hung back Luke gently stepped away from her grip and approached one of the graves. He knelt on the ground, burying one hand into the sand and raising the other up towards the suns. Luke started murmuring words that were completely foreign to Leia. After a long minute she heard the old man join him, and if she listened carefully she could catch Anakin saying a few words in the unfamiliar tongue.
Leia felt lost. She wanted to understand. She wanted to be a part of this. Even if these people were strangers to her, Luke was still her family. If it was important to him, it was important to her, and she wanted to be there for him in a way that was more than physical.
She waited until the prayer of sorts was finished. When Luke stopped talking and bowed his head Leia approached. She knelt next to him, carefully mimicking his position.
"Show me?" Leia asked. Luke gave her a small smile.
"It's a ritual of the slaves." Luke said. He nodded at his hand in the ground. Leia stuck one of her hands in the sand. "In life, a slave is a prisoner, even in their own body. In death, the body remains trapped beneath the unforgiving sand, that that's where it will stay forever, but the spirit," Luke waved his hand towards the suns. Leia did the same. "It flies free. It becomes one with the breeze and brings relief to those working in the harsh heat. It flies up to the stars and finally sees how massive the galaxy is beyond Tatooine. Beyond their pain and slavery. The spirit joins the suns, and becomes a light and beacon for those who are left behind."
"What were those words you said?" Leia asked. Luke looked happy that she asked.
"It's an old story about the Desert Mother." Cliegg was the one who answered. Luke and Leia both looked at him attentively as he spoke. "It's a legend passed down by the people raised in the sun. The Desert Mother is said to be a slave from a distant planet. She escaped her captors and, through long trials, found herself on an isolated planet where nobody could find her again. She found peace and sanctuary in the sands, and when she died her spirit became one with the desert."
Cliegg stared out towards the horizon, a sad and distant look in his eyes. "As time passed and more people came to this planet, it was twisted from a sanctuary to protect those from danger to a lair of depravity for those who wanted to hurt others. The spirit of the Desert Mother was furious, and she cursed the land, making it nearly unlivable for all."
"The desert is unforgiving." Luke said. "But it's also merciful. When slaves and people who respected and honored the desert die, it's said that their spirits become one with her, just as she became one with the land that saved her. She protects those souls from suffering in death the way they did in life."
It felt like something was whispering at Leia's soul, telling of familiarity. It reminded her a little of the Force, in that it was something that she didn't completely know or understand, but spoke of a connection between all of them.
"Stories about the Desert Mother are dying." Cliegg said. "Every generation there are fewer people who know of her."
"My Uncle taught me." Luke said. "He said it was important to know the story of my ancestors. That I needed to remember where I came from to properly appreciate what I have." Luke closed his eyes. "It's been so hard to remember others when I feel like I've been suffering so much."
Cliegg looked at the tombstone. "My wife believed that the only thing that could ease her pain was to do something for others."
Leia looked at the grave marker in front of her. The grave of a woman that she knew nothing about, but who she wouldn't have existed without. "What was she like?"
Cliegg sighed. "Shmi was the toughest person I had ever met. She was a slave herself, but she never cared about her own suffering. All that mattered to her was easing the pain of others. She used to go out of her way to protect other slaves, and she even helped others escape even as she remained chained. She was treated like a possession, and she didn't complain about it."
"She deserved better." Anakin said. Leia had almost forgotten he was there. She turned to see the man looking at his mother's grave marker, looking lost and drained. Cliegg stared at Anakin for a long moment before he sighed and maneuvered his chair away from the graves.
"Come out of the sun, children." Cliegg said tiredly. "We have some water to spare." Leia wanted to argue that Luke had a right to take as much time as he needed to grieve, but Luke stood up without complaint. He was willing to give their father the privacy to grieve. Luke and Leia followed Cliegg inside the homestead. Before going inside Leia looked behind her and she saw Anakin slowly easing himself into the sand, kneeling the way that Luke and Leia had.
"Come along, young one." Cliegg said to Leia. "I doubt he's given himself the chance to grieve. He needs this." She let herself be turned away and she went inside. For Luke's sake she was relieved to not see his aunt and uncle. While it would be nice to meet them, she didn't think that was what Luke needed right now. Not when he actually looked a little content and somewhat at peace.
"Can you tell me more about her?" Luke asked when they got into the kitchen. He started getting some glasses of water, and Cliegg didn't seem to notice anything odd about a stranger knowing where to find things in his home. "I never got the chance to know her, but I always wanted to."
"Did Shmi save your family?" Cliegg asked.
Luke sat down, handing Leia a glass of water. She took a small sip, appreciating the water more than she ever had. She knew that the people of Tatooine didn't have access to it as easily as she did back home, where she could have water whenever she wanted. Luke had to work for his.
"My father was a slave as a child." Luke said slowly. "She saved him, probably angering her own master to do so."
"That sounds like Shmi." Cliegg said fondly. "She was always risking everything to save whoever she could. The only time I knew her to keep her head down and show restraint was when her son was a slave. She used to tell me that he'd been a gift from the Desert Mother herself, and a gift like that needed to be protected."
Cliegg shook his head. "She saved her son from living the life of a slave. Shmi always denied it. She said the Jedi saved him. But Anakin would have stayed if she asked him to." Leia could believe that much. "Shmi had let her only child go if it meant he would have the chance at a better life. His life was so much more important to her than her own. She had every right to grieve and fall apart after the sacrifice she made, but she didn't. When Anakin was safe and didn't rely on her to keep him safe, she wasted no time to begin saving slaves again."
"She sounds extraordinary." Leia said. She wasn't just a slave who had died. She was a mother. A wife. A savior.
"She was." Cliegg said. He looked at Luke, and there was something in his eyes that made Leia feel like he understood something that they hadn't told him.
"You have the same kindness in her eyes that she did." Cliegg said. "And the same pain."
Luke's eyes filled with tears and he choked on a sob. He covered his eyes with his hands, trying to brush away his tears before they fell. Leia put her arm around his shoulder and gave a small tug to encourage him to lean his head against her shoulder.
"It's okay to cry." Leia said. Luke shook his head.
"It's a waste of water." Luke said. Leia sighed and passed him her glass of water. If he needed water to let himself cry, she would give it to him.
"My mom told me that crying was how you get your feelings out before they become too much for you to handle." Leia said. "Sometimes you have to keep it in for a little and put on a show, but when you're in a safe place, you shouldn't be afraid to let the tears out."
Luke's face twisted painfully and he buried his face against her shoulder. He let go, and Leia was going to fight anybody who had a bad word to say about it. She thought that he would fall apart for several minutes, but a few minutes later Luke was already starting to calm down. He slowly pulled away.
"Better?" Leia asked. Luke nodded.
"Yeah," He said. He sounded surprised. "I think…I think I needed to come here. Mace was right. I needed to say goodbye so I could let go." Luke looked at Cliegg, smiling brightly at him. "Hearing about her life feels so much better than thinking about her death."
"Talking about her definitely feels better than sitting beneath the suns, wishing for what I can't have." Cliegg topped off Leia's water and nodded at Luke to drink. "She would be rolling in her grave if she saw me moping around."
Luke laughed slightly and nodded, seeming to think the same thing about himself. There was a thoughtful look in his eyes.
"She focused on the good, even when there was nothing but bad." Luke closed his eyes. Leia felt a wave of peace come off of him, and for the first time in weeks she felt like she could breathe freely. The pressure and anxiety that she'd been feeling through her bond with Luke was lifted, even if it wasn't completely gone.
"I think I understand." Luke said, though he didn't say what it was he understood. Maybe Leia would get details from him later, but for now she was just content that he seemed happy for once. She closed her eyes and leaned against Luke, mirroring the position they'd just been in.
Leia hadn't realized how heavy the burden Luke was carrying was, and how much it was weighing down on her. The sudden loss of it was almost dizzying. That, combined with the stifling heat of the desert made her feel suddenly drowsy.
Leia wasn't in the habit of falling asleep in odd places, but she felt a warmth around her, embracing her in a comforting hold. It reminded Leia of when her mother would pull her into her arms and rock her to sleep after a long day. A hold that promised safety, and spoke of pride in what she had done. Leia leaned into that touch and let herself drift off.
Leia fell asleep in the oppressive heat of the Tatooine desert. She woke up to a gentle, cool breeze, and the noticeable absence of Luke's presence. If she reached she could feel him, but he was far away. It felt so much like how it had before she'd understood what or who was reaching for her. It was how she had felt back home.
Leia's eyes snapped open. She jolted up and felt her breath catch in her breath when she recognized her bedroom back on Alderaan. She was home. But she was separated from Luke. How could the home she had known her whole life feel so wrong?