New Beginnings Part 2

A/N: Ok so yes, lasagna might be a little complicated for a first dinner, but I had to give a little shoutout to Wendy and one of her Christmas stories with that one. Besides, it will let our detectives talk a lot. Let's see what they have to say…

The lasagna was taking forever and Alex was starving. She was trying not to drink too much on an empty stomach, but telling stories and drinking went hand in hand in her Irish family.

She told several stories about her time in Vice. Bobby was grinning at the end of each of them, because they usually involved Alex kicking someone's ass. After a while she pointed at him and said, "Your turn. Tell me a story. Tell me about your family. Molly. In Michigan." Bobby smiled. He had been to see his Michigan family during their year-long absence from MCS a few times, and his relationship with Molly had grown. She was almost 12 now.

"Molly's amazing", Bobby began. "She reminds me of you, actually."

"Me? Why?"

"She's…small, but she's fierce. And she cares. About everything. Even me. And…she's…she's beautiful."

Alex ducked her head but he could see the smile on her face. "Well. She sounds great. And she should care about you. You're worth caring about, Bobby."

She reached over the counter and took his hand. She traced small circles in it with her thumb. Bobby's breath hitched. He bent to meet her eyes.

"Hey," he said. "You ok?" She nodded. "I'm fine. I'm just…thinking."

"That's dangerous. What are you thinking about?"

"You. Me. This. Us. Now."

"You told me not to think about it. To just go with it."

"I know. I just…it's a lot, Bobby. For me. I might…I might not be what you want."

"Alex," he said, grasping both her hands in his and looking directly in her eyes, "You are precisely what I want. I just…it just took me so long…too long…to do anything about it. Even though I'd wanted to for a long while. I'm so sorry if that makes you feel like I don't want you exactly the way you are. Because I do." He brought her hand up to his lips and kissed it.

"You…you have always accepted me for who…and what I am. You have never backed away from me. You don't lie to me. You're brilliant and beautiful and everything I could want in a partner in work and in life. Like I said, I don't think I deserve you, but if you want to be with me…I am crazy about you." He said it all in a rush and had no idea how she was going to react to these declarations. Tears were in her eyes and he didn't know if that was a good sign. But she held his gaze and smiled, shyly at first, then wider.

"You do deserve it," she said. "You deserve to be happy after…everything. You deserve to have a life that doesn't revolve around death and deceit and destruction. You're a good person. And everything you are…is what I'm crazy about too."

He let out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. So she did want to be with him. She wasn't going to let her self doubt win. That meant he couldn't let his beat him either. This was going to be a lot of work. But she was worth it. They were worth it.

The oven finally buzzed, and they broke their grasp. "Now we have to let it sit."

"Jeez Goren, next time ziti is fine, ok?"

"But ziti? On a first date?"

"Oh is that what this is?"

"The first of many, I hope."

She bit her lip, nodding. So were they dating now? This was going to get complicated. Quickly. And her overthinking mind was in overdrive with 'what ifs'.

But her ruminations were interrupted by Bobby's house phone ringing. He looked at the number on the caller ID.

"It's Michigan. Do you mind…?"

"Of course."

Bobby answered the phone and Alex could hear his side of the conversation.

"Hello? Hi Molly!" Alex smiled at Bobby's enthusiasm to hear from his young niece.

"Yes, I am having dinner. No, I'm not alone actually." Bobby looked at Alex and winked.

"I'm having dinner with Alex. Yes, my partner Alex." Bobby took the phone away from his ear and said "She wants me to put her on speaker phone so she can talk to you."

Alex smiled. "Sure."

"Hi Miss Alex!", Molly said, excitedly.

"You can just call me Alex, Molly."

"No way, Mom wouldn't like that. Are you Uncle Bobby's partner at the police department?"

"Yes, I am."

"The TV shows have police on there with their partners and they say their partners always have their back and protect them. Do you protect Uncle Bobby, Miss Alex?"

"I do, yes. And he protects me. That's how police work."

"I think I want to be a police officer like Uncle Bobby when I grow up. Oh, Uncle Bobby guess what? You remember Jimmy Lang? He asked me to the dance and since you said he seemed nice, I told him I would go. I hope he brings me flowers. Do you like flowers, Miss Alex?"

Bobby and Alex were both spinning at the young girl talking a mile a minute.

"I'm glad Jimmy asked you to the dance, Molly. And you'll have to ask your parents about being a police officer. It's dangerous," Bobby said.

"And yes, I do like flowers," Alex said.

"Are you on a date with Uncle Bobby, Miss Alex? Did he bring you flowers?"

"We are on a date, actually. And no flowers, but he cooked dinner. Always date a man who can cook, Molly."

Bobby was beaming. Two of the most important people in his life chatting. And Alex acknowledging their date.

"Miss Alex, can I ask you a favor?"

"Of course."

"I'm worried that Uncle Bobby is lonely cuz we're his only family and we're so far away. He seems sad sometimes cuz he's all alone and he needs someone to take care of him when he can't come here with us. Will you keep him company?"

Alex smiled at the young girl's imploring words. Molly was very perceptive about her uncle. Alex was grateful that someone like Molly existed in Bobby's world now.

"Absolutely I will, Molly."

"And will you come with Uncle Bobby the next time he visits us?"

"Uhhh…your uncle and I will have to talk about that."

Molly heaved a great sigh. Alex heard voices in the background.

"I have to go, Miss Alex and Uncle Bobby! I have to get to dinner. Uncle Bobby, can I call you again next week?"

"Of course you can, Molly. You can call me any time, kiddo. Say hi to the family for me ok?"

"Love you Uncle Bobby, bye!" And with that, she was gone.

Bobby was grinning as he hung up the phone. He loved that little girl. And he loved the woman in front of him. Things were looking up for him. His overworked brain had the complications of their relationship played over and over but he didn't want to think about any of that now. He just wanted to have dinner with Alex.

"It would be nice if you came to Michigan," he said. "We…we're gonna have to pretend…a lot…to not be…together. In New York. So maybe if we went to Michigan…we could be…real. Ya know?"

Alex nodded in agreement. She had thought of that too. This hidden affair…or whatever it was…was bound to take its toll on her and Bobby. Maybe Michigan would be good for them. And she would love to meet his family.

"Bobby, what are we going to do? About us? The department? They can't know. Oh God, I can't even tell my father, he can't keep his mouth shut. Every cop in the NYPD will know within a week. I could tell Liz. She would…"

"Alex!", Bobby exclaimed, coming around and putting his hands on her shoulders. "Alex, everything is going to be fine, ok? One thing at a time, right? That's what you told me."

"I know, I just…I'm just wrapped up in my own head right now."

He wasn't used to being the one OUT of his head and IN the moment. Usually that was her role. He felt helpless. Is this what she felt when he was spiraling out of control? He cursed himself again for all he had put her through.

He didn't want to overwhelm her, but he felt it so strongly in his heart that he had to let her know. He pushed her gently back and looked into her eyes.

"I have to tell you something, Alex." She looked concerned and he wanted to erase that look from her face.

"Alex, I've been hiding for a long time. From everyone. Especially you. When all you were trying to do was help me. Support me. Befriend me. And I pushed you away. When the truth was…is…that…I love you. I'm in love with you."

Her eyes had never left his while he was speaking. She'd been waiting for this. Longer than she cared to admit to herself or anyone else. The truth was, her feelings scared her. A lot. And his feelings scared her too. She'd never been one to shy away from anything but this…this was big. And she wasn't sure she could handle it. But she had to tell him what she knew to be true. He was being so honest with her. She owed him the same thing. So she took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

"I…I don't know what to say, Bobby. I've hidden too. From myself. From you. I didn't want to admit the truth either. It was too…overwhelming. And it never seemed like the right time. Which is ridiculous because it's been twelve years and we've seen each other almost every day. But honestly…I've been waiting for this. I didn't know how much. And now I have to tell you…I love you too. I do. I just…I don't know how all this is going to work. And I'm scared. But I do. I love you."

He rewarded her with a smile that lit a fire in her. This was beyond anything he could have imagined. This was the most amazing feeling he'd had in his whole messed up life. The woman that he had loved for what seemed like eternity actually returned his feelings. And she was scared. He had to make that better for her.

He never expected HER to be the insecure one in their relationship. She was always so solid in their partnership. But this was personal, and Alex on a personal level was apparently very different. She was vulnerable and worried. So he was going to have to step it up. He decided to start simple. He closed the distance between them and enveloped her in a hug. A big, tight hug, that he hoped conveyed a sense of security and love. She seemed to calm in his arms. He pulled back slightly and tipped up her chin. He placed a tentative kiss on her lips. He pulled back again but she leaned forward and captured his lips. They explored each other gently at first, then with more passion. They finally pulled apart, out of breath and smiling at each other.

"So that's one step at a time?", she said, teasingly.

"Yes," he answered, seriously.

"I can handle that."

"We can handle anything, Alex. I'm never leaving you again."

"Promise?"

"Promise. We'll..we'll start with dinner and take it from there, ok?"

She nodded, and on cue, her stomach growled. She smiled and made the choice- she was going to trust this. Trust him. Trust herself. Trust their love for each other. Trust the bond they'd had for twelve years that nothing had been able to break. They had been through so much together already. This was just a new step. And it was a beautiful one.

The End!