A/N: First Class all in one chapter, quite short, when you factor in all the Buy More shenanigans and how much time Sarah is not on screen. A few wtf's: Shaw's claim that Chuck was going to meet Sarah in Lisbon...did he do what I suggest he did, try to bait her? He knew everything, so he knew Chuck never left Prague. How did Chuck know Sarah was flying the plane? Eve's spy will was the package that Carina stole from Karl. Nacho Sampler will be longer and much sadder. Ugh. Look for Chapter 6 of Once and Again tomorrow! Thanks y'all.
Shaw took over relatively quickly. It seemed that we spoke to Beckman less and less. Our orders came directly from him. Whether they were passed through him, or if he was completely running the show, I wasn't sure. I hated it.
I think I hated it the most because it was a constant reminder that things were different now. The three of us, Casey, Chuck and me, working together was familiar, even if the dynamics weren't the same anymore. Shaw inserting himself into our team made those changes more obvious, more troubling.
He officially took over the operation at the end of January. With that, he started to conduct a review. In short, he went through the entire official record of Operation Bartowski. He conducted interviews and interrogations. And he did them separately. I know he talked to Casey first, and I wasn't allowed to talk to Casey after that until my review.
He asked me if Chuck was really a spy. I was offended, even if I thought the reason he asked was legitimate. He said the mission reports read like Chuck was a cross between James Bond and Jerry Lewis. He was more accurate than I wanted to admit. I had to remind myself, he was reading Casey's reports, edited from my video logs. So they were in Casey's tone, minus my feelings. It made sense they would read the way they did.
He asked me if Chuck was a liability.
Hadn't Beckman told him anything? Chuck was the Intersect. He wasn't meant to be the 2.0, but he was. The point of all of this, why Casey and I were there, was to help him reach the full potential of the 2.0. The problems involved were well documented. Shaw seemed to have read everything, but not that? I bristled.
Right after he was done talking to me, he called for Casey and Chuck to report to Castle. Chuck started rambling, I'm sure because he was nervous. It bothered me a bit that he seemed to imply that he needed to set the record straight after Shaw had spoken to me, as if I would have thrown him under the bus or criticized him. It hurt, if I was being fair. Did he not know what I thought?
Then Shaw surprised the hell out of both Casey and I, telling us that he thought the real reason for any dysfunctionality with our team was because of Casey and me. That we didn't let Chuck evolve. Chuck, expecting criticism, jumped on what Shaw was saying.
I disagreed, telling Shaw Chuck was not ready to be on his own. I had spent over two years protecting him, nonstop. I couldn't just shut it off, even though it may have been detrimental to his overall development as a spy. I felt I had to stay in between him and the true nature of spy life. It was my fault he was there, wanting it the way he did, when I thought it was the worst thing he could ever do with his life.
Shaw disregarded what we said and told Chuck he was going on his first solo mission. Paris was the destination. He was elated. I was horrified.
Shaw said he wanted to do some preliminary mission briefings, so he told both Casey and I we could go home. Shaw texted later that evening to say everything was a go for the next day.
It was happening too fast. One conversation, and he was going solo in a foreign country? I couldn't sleep, instead just tossing and turning all night long, worrying about what was going to happen.
I reported to Castle first thing in the morning to the mission brief. I went over it with Chuck a few times. He was meeting a contact in Paris. He had luggage, an itinerary, and his passport, identifying him as Charles Carmichael.
Casey found nunchucks in Chuck's luggage, which Chuck quickly defended. He didn't like to carry firearms. I knew this, but suddenly the situation became too real. A solo mission with no gun? The Intersect could protect him, in theory, but any level of stress could interfere with the functionality of the program. I could feel my worry, gnawing away inside my stomach.
I asked Casey to leave us alone for a second. He rolled his eyes at me, but he agreed.
I told Chuck that I knew he wanted all this, and he wanted to impress Shaw, but what he was doing was crazy.
He took Shaw's faith in him to heart, believing that because Shaw thought he could do it, he could do it.
I told him I knew he could do it, but I thought that he needed more time. I was worried sick, more emotional than I wanted to admit to anyone. Did Chuck notice my face, why I was pleading with him not to go? That the thought of something happening to him would absolutely destroy me? I thought maybe he did, but Shaw interrupted us and reaffirmed that Chuck was doing the mission, regardless of what I thought. He invoked Beckman's name on the approval of the mission.
He said goodbye when both Casey and Shaw were in the room with us. I was screaming inside when he left, but I had no choice. I had to let him go.
It took 11 hours to fly from Los Angeles to Paris, which would have put us into the next day. I was doing paperwork in Castle, catching up on a few things. It didn't make sense that Shaw was hanging around, seemingly so intent on working when we had so much time before the mission started.
I was standing right next to Shaw when Chuck called him. I heard him ask Chuck if he had flashed yet. Then to my horror, I heard him tell Chuck that the mission wasn't in Paris, it was on the plane.
I saw red, I was so angry. What the hell was he talking about? Everything he had told us, everything that was on paper…it was a lie, a set up. He had sent Chuck blind into a mid-air mission! I'm sure it was because if we had known, both Casey and I would have protested more adamantly. I had a stray thought, wondering if Beckman even knew the true nature of the mission. He was in charge, after all. Maybe he had lied to her too.
I heard Shaw give him the updated mission brief: get the claim ticket from a Ring operative named Hugo Panzer, go to the cargo hold, and retrieve the crypto key. I told Chuck to be careful.
Then I laid into Shaw. I was furious, telling him that Chuck had no back up. His response to me was cutting. He threw my words from before back in my face–telling me this was the test to see if my asset was really a spy.
I questioned his credentials, telling him no one I knew had ever heard of him. I left "Mr. Special Agent" off, but implied.
He brought up my father being a conman. I got so angry I had to turn away, afraid he was going to see me lose control.
And then he asked me about Lisbon, why I went off the grid for three days when Beckman had ordered me to stay in contact. He had a surveillance photograph of me on the hotel balcony, holding Bryce's urn. My mouth went horribly dry as I worried for a second I was going to have to lie to him. I thanked my foresight back then to make sure I was seen in Lisbon, my cover for the truth.
He accused me of being a double agent, or a Ring operative. He asked me if it was about Chuck. The way he said it implied he understood more about Chuck and me than I suspected him of knowing. I don't know why I thought I could hide my feelings for Chuck from a top notch spy when I couldn't hide them from Jeff Barnes, but still, it surprised me.
Finally, Chuck called to check in, telling us he was in the cargo hold. Shaw told him to find the key and get back to his seat.
Then Shaw kept pushing about me being in Lisbon, telling me he was right, that he was always right. He pushed harder, telling me that I cared about Chuck, that he followed me to Lisbon. At least I was smart enough to not take his bait–he knew damn well that Chuck never left Prague. He was waiting for me to tell him that, too, just so I could implicate myself further.
Chuck called again, to tell us the claim ticket was for a casket. Shaw gave him quick orders and hung up on him again.
He called back almost immediately, but Shaw wouldn't let me answer it. I argued, and he snapped back at me, telling me if I gave in and helped, that someday I would get him killed. That was already one of my darkest fears.
Casey called, to tell me Chuck was in trouble, that he'd been taken by the Ring agent.
Shaw finally got through to him, but by then, Chuck had handled the situation, and everything was ok. Or so we thought.
After about an hour, Chuck called us back to tell us he'd been poisoned. Panzer had escaped from the cargo hold. I asked him what it tasted like–it was definitely poison. I told him to make himself throw up.
He was taken by another Ring agent before he could.
I lost it again, snapping at Shaw.
With the situation critical, Shaw finally took action. He called in an executive override to air traffic control. There was a satellite in orbit, designed to be used to take control of commercial jets if enemy fighters took control. He knew I was a pilot.
I made sure to remind him, despite what he had read about me, that I wasn't exactly certified to fly a 747. He basically told me to figure it out, then told me to call Chuck.
I heard Chuck and the Ring agent, and Shaw bargaining with her, putting her off her guard. It was a distraction, and then I took control of the plane. The plane dropped altitude quickly, hopefully throwing them off balance, disrupting the situation in the cargo hold.
Chuck yelled to me to level off the plane. He knew I was a pilot after I helped him land the helicopter after I had just been stationed in Burbank. He had gained the upper hand somehow, so I complied.
He got on the phone and told us that everything was fine. Shaw called air traffic control and disengaged the satellite link with the flight.
My impression of Shaw up to this point–he was cool, professional, almost blank. But right then, he surprised me. He was suddenly impassioned, telling me he did whatever he could to protect his people. That he had lost a spy and it was his fault and he would never let it happen again. It was a side of him I had never seen and it surprised me.
Then he asked me again why I was in Lisbon.
So I told him the truth, or at least, part of the truth, the part I had set up to protect myself. I told him I went to bury Bryce, that Lisbon was our first mission and I promised him I would take care of it. I told him if he wanted me reassigned, to just tell Beckman.
I had already tried to get away, and Beckman had adamantly refused. I was counting on that same insistence again.
Turns out, I didn't need it. Shaw wanted me on the team.
He called Chuck back after the plane had landed to tell him the Paris station was headed to the airport to retrieve the Ring agents, but that he was needed back in Burbank right away.
It was the longest day of my life, waiting for Chuck to come back. Almost a full 24 hours later, but he returned. He looked tired, ragged, but he had the key.
He thanked us for saving his life, for backing him up.
I was just thrilled that he was ok, that he had succeeded.
Chuck gave Shaw the key.
Suddenly, the gold briefcase that Carina had stolen from Karl was there. We didn't have clearance to see it, but apparently Shaw did. He opened it and took out a circular case. I knew exactly what it was–a spy will. Not all of them were that fancy, but I had seen ones just like it.
He said it belonged to someone undercover inside the Ring. The spy he said he had lost, the one whose death he blamed himself for.
He took out the disks and handed them to Casey. Under the disks was a tiny white envelope that he took and walked away with. It was very suspicious.
We were all curious, but I followed him into his office. I asked him what was in the envelope.
His normally stoic exterior had cracked just a bit. He looked…sad I guess is the best word, although I know now it was utter devastation that was taking all of his will to contain.
He handed me the envelope. It was a woman's wedding band and engagement ring.
He told me she had been killed by a Ring agent five years ago. And her name was Evelyn Shaw.
Eve, as he said, the faintest smile on his face as he remembered something.
The spy he had lost, the one he blamed himself for losing…was his wife.
I was shocked. He was the perfect spy, warning Chuck about personal attachments and liabilities. Perhaps that was a lesson learned the hard way. I couldn't picture him, married. I had known a few married couples who worked for the CIA, mostly by reputation, and they were an odd lot.
Married, but knowing each of you had to put your job before your spouse. Spy marriage, spy love. Nothing real, not like I have with Chuck. We were always different.
They were too, only I didn't know how, not here.
He finished that conversation by saying we had both made the same mistake, falling in love with a spy.
To this day, I don't know if he meant Bryce…or Chuck.