A/N: This chapter is last-minute because I have spent the past week making great progress on other stories. I'm writing the second draft of my book! The first two rewritten chapters look so good. Eeeeee. And I just about have the final chapter of my latest self-insert fic ready! I just need to polish it all up, publish it, then write and publish a short epilogue, and woohoo! Writing that thing has been an adventure. I love it.

So, yeah, this chapter ended up a tad skimpy. Hopefully what it lacks in length, it makes up for in content.

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Zetsu

Zetsu, Chiki and Sakumo stopped to look up at the building. Although the formerly abandoned hotel was only two stories tall, it felt imposing. They circled around to the front. Konan spoke with the tall stitched-up man outside. Kakuzu. "What the hell happened to the road?" Sakumo whispered. It had been smashed to rubble and crudely replaced with a path of bare stone.

Kakuzu noticed them. He alerted Konan. They both approached slowly, in a restrained manner. "Sakumo. It is good to see you again," Konan said with a smile. "How are the pups?"

"Nothing but good news there," Sakumo replied. "But… Um… What happened to the road?"

"It was destroyed in a battle."

"Another training battle? I didn't know you were holding them so closely together."

"Not quite." Konan gestured to Kakuzu. "As it so happens, we are planning another training battle. Two days from now. We will invite guests to watch. We do not know yet if there will be more than one fight."

Sakumo and Chiki shared a look. "Have you decided who will be fighting?" Sakumo asked, pretending at nonchalance. Chiki didn't bother to hide his interest. Zetsu had no idea why they were so interested. In fact, Zetsu was still processing the fact that road-destroying battles were a thing.

"Sasori versus Original Hidan," Kakuzu replied. "Sasori has been working on a mechanical puppet, a giant beetle-bot." He looked to Konan, as if asking her permission for something.

Konan stepped closer. In a low voice, she said, "The intent of this battle is to surprise the originals and demonstrate our members' adaptibility. Sasori has learned skills that his original never would have considered developing. He will bring out his puppet and pretend to depend on it, then surprise Original Hidan with his new abilities." She stepped back. In her regular voice, she said, "There will not be any cause for frenzies to occur."

"I see." Sakumo and Chiki seemed both relieved and disappointed.

Kakuzu cleared his throat and turned to Zetsu. "Have the Hatakes described to you how our last set of training battles went?" he asked.

"No. We didn't know you held any," White Zetsu replied. I'm curious, Ani. These battles sound interesting.

They sound dangerous.

Which is exactly why we should watch the next one, right? So we know what they're capable of!

Kakuzu glanced up the road. "Follow me." The whole group followed him up the road. In an extremely short distance, practically on the hotel's front lawn, there was a rectangle of land encompassing four yards, two on each side as well as the road between. It was all devastated. Stalagmites stuck out of the ground, the fronts of the buildings were damaged, and Zetsu smelled traces of old blood. Kakuzu waved at the devastation. "Our originals were ninjas who used their abilities to kill other ninjas. Every advance had to be countered by another advance, power escalating upon power until it became commonplace for ninjas to be able to reshape whole landscapes. We live in a world that does not allow for that, of course, but we nonetheless have those abilities. Giving our ninja sides a chance to express themselves can't help but result in destruction. Thankfully, we have all this abandoned land to work with." He pointed at various parts of the former battlefield and described what had occurred there.

"There was blood spilled," Black Zetsu said.

"Yes," Konan replied. "Hidan and Kisame fought each other. Both are reactive to blood. A small amount of bloodshed caused them to fly into a frenzy, which resulted in much greater bloodshed. That is when the upper half of Hidan's ear was lost."

"But it's not gonna happen again?" White Zetsu asked.

"No. Sasori is physically unassuming. He will keep his distance in order to avoid injury."

"Zetsu has told us about the originals," Sakumo said. "Chiki and I agreed it would be good to meet them."

Konan nodded. She led them back towards the hotel. She and Kakuzu were doing a remarkably good job of avoiding pushiness. But how long is that going to last… When she went inside to fetch them, Black Zetsu asked Kakuzu, "Has anything changed?"

Kakuzu gave it some thought. "In the short term, yes. But there's no way to know about the long term."

"How are Obito and Tobi and Madara?" Sakumo asked.

"They spent yesterday reading books to dolls, investigating the abilities of the Sharingan, and sightseeing. I believe Obito ran the show most of the time, if not all day. Of course, that just means Madara will cause even more chaos when he finally appears."

Sakumo smiled uneasily. Zetsu had told him a little bit about Madara's usual behavior. "Well, as long as you stay prepared…"

"The more time Obito spends around us, the more ammunition he gathers," Kakuzu replied. "Madara is convinced we're conniving manipulators. His case is weak when we only see them for fleeting moments, but multiple whole days? We're trying our best to treat Obito in a way that doesn't support his paranoid beliefs, but he could probably twist anything we do to fit his story."

Zetsu's heart skipped a beat. They know?

"Are you saying that this 'Madara' is aware of Obito's experiences?" Chiki asked.

"Yes."

White Zetsu gulped. How did they find out so quickly when it took us years?

Because of their privileged main-character status, obviously. "How do you know this?"

"Obito reported a strange feeling of pressure, like something leaning on his mind. It went away as soon as he thought about it." Kakuzu huffed. "It's not just our actions that Madara can misinterpret. It's also Obito's reactions. If he has access to thoughts, even feelings, then any slightest bit of pleasure on Obito's part could become evidence of manipulation. Any feelings of affection, evidence of love-bombing. Any interest in changing his habits, evidence of brainwashing. Madara's a paranoiac with the ability to rewrite all of reality to suit his delusions. He's extremely dangerous."

Oh, fuck. Obito knows?!

"Fortunately, we have equally powerful forces on our side."

Before Zetsu could ask what he meant, Konan returned. Besides the two originals who weren't Hidan, she also had the masked man with her. He ran up to Zetsu. "Zetsu! You came back!" Obito ran his hand through his hair nervously. "I thought…"

White Zetsu put on a smile. "Hey Obi, meet Sakumo and Chiki. Sakumo's half wolf, and Chiki's half giant predatory desert lizard. They're nice people."

"Oh, hello." Obito shook hands with both of them. "I'm Obito."

"And these must be the originals," Sakumo said. "I can tell because their cloaks do not have red clouds."

"That is a convenient identifier," Original Nagato agreed. "You are leaders from an allied group?"

Sakumo nodded. "Chiki and I now function as co-leads for the Hatake clan. Our camp is to the east, through the forest."

"It's good to meet you," Original Yahiko said.

"We were just discussing an upcoming training battle. Sounds very exciting! Same arrangement as last time?"

"Sitting on rooftops is the usual arrangement for all training battles," Konan replied. "The demon boy can seat people in midair as needed. We have not yet decided on a precise location."

"I have some contemplations," Kakuzu said smoothly, eyes narrowed. "If the kid'll allow it, the hospital grounds themselves would be ideal. The beetle-bot needs room to maneuver."

"Ask him for permission at the next opportunity," Konan ordered. "Now then… Zetsu, Obito. What are your plans?"

Obito looked down shyly. "Well, it's nice here. I don't have any problems."

What the hell do we do about Madara?

Maybe they have some plans, Ani. "We've been away for a while. Why don't we hang out and chat?" White Zetsu suggested.

Konan led Sakumo and Chiki away. Zetsu insisted that Obito get to know their new friends, so Obito followed. Zetsu, Kakuzu and the two originals went up the road for their chat. Kakuzu sat on a stalagmite that had lost its top and crossed his arms, waiting. The others also sat. There were a lot of topless stalagmites. "What do you mean when you say Madara's dangerous?" Black Zetsu asked Kakuzu.

"Do you disagree with that assessment?"

"No."

"First tell me what you mean, then."

"Madara seems determined to drive away perfectly nice people who could help Obito," White Zetsu replied. "He's an expert at murdering Obi's social life. We've always worried that Obito won't be able to have a good life because of him."

"Now it's your turn," Black Zetsu said.

"My thinking is along the same lines, but more advanced," Kakuzu said. "What will he do when his usual methods fail? He is willing to use physical violence against Yahiko, he has the ability to affect Obito's mind and take over the body any time he wants, and he doesn't seem to be very stable. Someone with great power, unstable, upset..."

"...You think he could go crazy and hurt people?"

"It's a possibility."

"Including Obito? Directly? Not just Obi's social life, but -"

"Yes."

Original Nagato said, "We are sorry we can't be of more help. Yahiko, Konan and I knew Madara's original, but his motives were mercurial even then. Who knows what the process of world-clone formation has distorted them into? We also have little information on his abilities. He does not show off his power."

Kakuzu sighed. "In short, we don't know what he wants or what he can do, but it can't be good."

They sat in silence, giving Zetsu time to digest this information. A thought darted across White Zetsu's mind so quickly that Black Zetsu missed it. It made their heart pound. What was that?

White Zetsu reluctantly called the thought back. If we don't know what he can do…

You can't be serious. You are serious. White Zetsu imagined some possibilities. Black Zetsu considered those possibilities. Fine. I'm in. Black Zetsu raised his hand. "We have an idea."

He described the idea. The two originals looked at each other. "It is better to force conflict out into the open than wait for it to erupt," Original Nagato said. Original Yahiko agreed.

"Alright, we have a minimum of two training battles now, assuming Obito agrees," Kakuzu said. "Opponent?"

"Who else?"

Kakuzu pulled out his phone to text Clone Yahiko. "I hope those dolls have healing magic."

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A/N: I know exactly what the next scene is going to be and I would have preferred to include it in this chapter, but I just don't have time to write it today. Sorry. Next chapter might be extra long to compensate, assuming I don't hyperfixate on my book.

Rar! Another week, another miracle!