The Daddy-Guard

"Are you sure you're okay doing a conference all day?" Kakashi fretted as he split the contents of their diaper bag into two piles.

They were at an inn in a little civilian town near the border of Lightning Country. That town, it was decided, was the most neutral point for all parties involved. The Mist had needed an ambassador and it was decided that Mei was the most suitable option. Mei, who had given birth to Kasumi only three weeks ago. Although their second son's delivery had been easier on her, Kakashi thought it was too soon for her to travel. The compromise was that the entire family would make the trip. Roka was nearly two and hadn't seen much of the world. Kakashi and Mei didn't have much experience traveling during peacetime. It was a learning experience for them all.

Mei checked on the baby strapped to her chest. Kasumi was still sleeping comfortably. She gave the silver fuzz on top of his head a kiss. A tiny fist flexed but he did not wake. "It'll be fine. Kasumi will sleep through most of the meetings and when he wakes up he'll just want to eat or be changed. No problem." Mei was used to multitasking, first as the Mizukage and now as a mother. This wasn't her first child so she was much more experienced and comfortable caring for him wherever she happened to be. When Mei saw Kakashi's skeptical face she continued. "If they didn't want me nursing during their meetings then maybe they should have thought to call a different diplomat." Kakashi nodded in agreement, tying their toddler to his back. Roka watched the proceedings with intelligent eyes. "Are you going to be okay?"

Kakashi nodded. He sealed Roka's half of the diaper bag things into a scroll and slipped it into his kunai pouch. He handed the diaper bag repacked with only Kasumi's things to his wife. "I've researched the town and there's a playground with plenty of trees. We can have a picnic, nap, whatever he wants to do. If nothing else I can bring him back to the inn."

The couple kissed and set off in opposite directions.

Kakashi turned his head to speak with his eldest son as they walked. "We're going to a park Roka, would you like that?"

Roka had never been to a park but found the town fascinating as they walked. He stared with wide eyes. Kakashi pointed out things that Roka had only seen in books, like shops and horses.

Moments later the trees parted revealing a large, and crowded, play structure with swings and jungle gym pieces scattered about. "Park," Kakashi explained. Roka squirmed with excitement.

Kakashi wanted to hold Roka a little tighter, eyeing all the strange people, but the toddler was already wiggling to get away. He wanted to explore this interesting place Daddy called a park. "Dow? Dow?"

"Down," the father corrected. Kakashi chuckled, finished untying his son, and lowered him to the ground. Roka took off as fast as his stumbling gait could carry him. Kakashi followed at an amble, his long stride made it easy to keep up.

Kakashi looked around suspiciously at the other caregivers, assessing possible threats. There were no genin teams, not in this small town, but plenty of fed-up moms, distracted dads, nannies, and even, Kakashi assumed, a professional tutor. He thought of Ebisu for the first time in years. What was he up to now? He recalled the last mission that he'd sent him on but that had been years ago. Kakashi realized with a jolt that he'd lost sight of Roka.

The retired Hokage scanned the playground and soon spotted his son behind a slide. Vowing to never lose sight of their precious son again, Kakashi strode over and shadowed his son. He followed Roka back and forth, back and forth, over the same stretch of ground. It got to the point that Kakashi was starting to question his son's motives. Shouldn't he be playing at a playground? Then he realized the toddler was chasing his own shadow around and through the shadows of the slide. Kakashi sighed with relief, glanced around, looked down, and Roka was gone!

Kakashi's heart raced as his eyes darted from child to child until he spotted Roka's green t-shirt. Roka had thrown himself into the fray, as only a toddler can, dodging around running kids and only stumbling a little before arriving at the base of the play structure. He immediately began to climb, pulling himself from one wide level to the next, passing by the lower platform exits that led to monkey bars or tunnels. He was headed for the top and the big slide. Kakashi followed along about four feet behind, movements as fluid as a cat's. The other children darted around him as if he was a pole or wall of the structure; Kakashi ignored them in turn. He only had eyes for the mischievous smirk of his son. Roka turned back to see if his Dad was still there and flashed a grin.

Roka reached the top of the slide, wiggled onto his belly, and slid down face-first, a huge smile all the way. Kakashi gracefully leapt to the bottom of the floom to welcome his son. Their smiles matched even though one was hidden. Roka giggled, unaware of the looks some of the other parents were now giving them. Roka scrambled off of the slide and trotted over to reascend the platforms.

Kakashi wanted to follow him but thought better of it. He could see the whole structure from the ground and would be able to dart over and catch Roka if he fell. He stepped away and stood tall at the edge of the playground, watching. His eyes occasionally scanned for threats but otherwise didn't waver from Roka, a small smile hidden by his mask.

"How old?" Kakashi nearly jumped at the voice. He turned to see a young woman with a large diaper bag at her feet. There were twins strapped to her, one on her chest and the other on her back. Both children were asleep. She smiled pleasantly at the Leaf ninja, swaying rhythmically for the benefit of the sleeping babes.

Kakashi replied with a frown, not that his age was any of her business. Finally he said, "forty-six."

The woman's eyes widened for a moment, then she smiled kindly. "I meant your charge," and nodded at Roka, who was climbing up to slide again.

Kakashi blinked. Was this normal parental conversation? Then he thought, does she think I'm Roka's grandfather? It was physically possible but… Kakashi suddenly felt old. He and Mei knew they were starting their family later than most but the fact wasn't usually shoved in his face. They lived in a cabin in a remote part of the forest for their own privacy but it also meant they didn't often speak to people that didn't already know them.

"Twenty months," Kakashi replied after half a moment of thought.

"He's a fearless little thing," she offered.

"Just on slides, and on anything he can climb, but he isn't fearless. He's definitely afraid of his parents being gone," Kakashi tried to explain.

"He seems to be doing okay," she replied.

"I'm here," Kakashi replied, puzzled.

She appraised him anew, "oh, you're Dad." She smiled and shook her head. "I didn't realize, but I see, the hair," she trailed off, having made her point.

"Who else would I be?" Kakashi was curious. Not curious enough that he didn't glance at Roka every five seconds to be sure he was safe.

"Well," she drew out the first word as if to soften the blow, "you're watching him like a bodyguard."

Kakashi self-consciously loosened his stance. Why had he been standing at attention? He glanced around at the other parents. He looked for fathers but there weren't many. Those that he did spy were either chatting with other parents, sitting half asleep on a bench, or chasing their kids down. They were dressed casually and their postures reflected that.

Kakashi never had gotten used to civilian clothes and still wore his jonin vest everywhere, although not always the one that labeled him as the Sixth Hokage. Today he was in a standard Leaf jonin uniform, it was as familiar to him as his own skin. In hindsight, he mused, wearing a kunai pouch AND holster to a playground probably wasn't a good idea. He spied a sign with the park rules and couldn't help but think that he, even without weapons, was far more dangerous than any of the prohibited items listed. There certainly weren't signs like that in any ninja village, playground or not.

Kakashi shrugged, both in answer and to relax his posture even more. "I guess I've had more experience in that area."

"It's not a bad thing," she reassured him. "You're a ninja then?" Although she must know, it would be impolite to assume.

To say, formerly, wasn't quite accurate so he settled for, "retired."

"You seem young, to retire. I won't let the hair fool me now, your son's is silver too, so I know it isn't from age."

Kakashi didn't know how to respond to this so he stayed silent. He wasn't used to people randomly speaking with him like this. People came to talk to him about his duties of course but this conversation was nothing like that. It was just casual talk, something in which he'd rarely participated.

"Mine are five, three, and six months," she offered. She gestured to two kids on the monkey bars and then the two strapped to her. "Is he an only child?"

"No, his brother is-" Kakashi cut himself off. Roka was running into the grass; he'd be in a neighboring yard in a moment. "Excuse me." He flash-stepped to his son's side and scooped him up with a "boo!"

Roka jumped and then giggled when he saw his Daddy. Kakashi swung him by the hands like a pendulum all the way back to the play area. He set Roka by a climbing dome and resumed his post. The mother of twins was still there.

"His brother is with my wife," Kakashi finished his sentence. This disjointed conversation would have seemed strange to Kakashi only a couple of years ago. But with his and Mei's conversations often being interrupted by baby cries, mini crisises, and clean-ups, he was used to it. His companion seemed to be too and didn't bat an eye.

"Do you come to this park often? I haven't seen you here before."

"Just visiting," Kakashi explained.

"That's too bad," she said. "It isn't always easy finding people to talk to."

Kakashi regarded her for a moment. It must not be easy spending each day with four others depending on you. He'd led teams, a branch of the Allied Shinobi Forces, and then cared for an entire hidden village. He'd been responsible for those lives but his teammates, the villagers, and fellow ninja could feed and wash and clothe themselves. He could talk to them about their needs and they could respond appropriately. The responsibility for their lives was a burden he placed upon himself but it didn't wholly rest with him. Parenthood was also a burden he'd placed upon himself but raising the next generation sat heavy upon him, an uncomfortable weight. It was one thing to speak about ideals to his village, how it was "a great privilege to raise the next generation", it was quite another to put those ideals into practice with his own two sons. Kakashi wasn't perfect and nothing put such a fine point on that as parenting. He grew frustrated at times, couldn't explain things properly, or was outsmarted by his own children. And he was clearly still too much a ninja, judging by this mother's perception of him.

A familiar wail broke into Kakashi's thoughts, unique among all those other young voices at that park: Roka's cry. Kakashi's heart chilled and shriveled in his chest. He threw himself toward the sound, dodging the parallel bars and other children to scoop up Roka, who'd fallen from the climbing dome. His precious son was crying.

"Are you okay? You're okay." Kakashi said the mantra over and over more as a plea than a reassurance. He cradled his son in his arms.

Roka HAD to be okay otherwise Kakashi wasn't sure what he'd do. He knew what he'd DO in a practical sense: find a healer, get a message to Mei, and so on. But what would HE do if he let Roka come to harm? Kakashi couldn't protect his sons from everything but that logic didn't keep the urge to do so at bay.

Kakashi cuddled his son close while he continued to cry and felt over his arms, legs, back, neck, and head. Roka didn't cry out at any particular touch, he just kept up his solid wail. Hot tears spilled out of his eyes and ran down his round cheeks. Kakashi held him close, oblivious to the looks they were receiving, both judgmental and concerned.

"There now, what happened? Tell me everything," Kakashi said, well aware that Roka lacked the skills to answer coherently at such a time. He rocked his son for a few seconds, it felt like hours, until Roka quieted, sniffed, wiped his nose, and began wiggling to be put down. Kakashi let him slide out of his arms to the ground. Spent tears still clung to his cheeks but Roka trotted off to try the slide again.

Kakashi sighed with relief. The crushing weight left his shoulders, not as easily as Roka had wiped his nose, but fast enough that Kakashi could breathe again. He returned to his post. "Does it ever get easier?" He suddenly asked his companion.

The mother turned to him. "Not really," she didn't have to ask what "it" was. "They get bigger, more aware and capable, but you're never going to turn the worry off."

"Ah," Kakashi said. They stood in silence.

"I wouldn't trade it for anything though," she added.

Kakashi nodded, knowing the feeling well.

They stood in silence for several moments, enjoying the rare peace that resulted when their children were happily occupied. That was until another mother sauntered over to them. Kakashi thought he heard the mother of twins sigh but wasn't certain.

"Hello there," the other mother said. Her eyes slid up and down Kakashi. He stared passively at the spot between her eyes.

"Beat it Satsuki, he's married."

Kakashi's eyes widened at his companion's straightforwardness. It was one thing to know what this new woman was up to; it was quite another to vocalize it.

The other mother winked at Kakashi before addressing his companion with an eyeroll. "That information isn't a stop sign for me, just a detour," she said flippantly. Her gaze returned to Kakashi. "Isn't that right handsome?"

Kakashi blinked down at her. "I'm sorry, did you say something?"

The mother of twins snorted out a laugh while the other mother stared at him for a moment. She seemed to be on the cusp of repeating herself when she realized he was purposely ignoring her. She huffed and stomped away.

"I can see what you mean," Kakashi said, "about finding people to talk to."

She laughed. "Satsuki is not interested in speaking to me, I'm neither male nor available. I'd normally say single but that doesn't hold much weight with her."

"She'd get more than she bargained for if she met my wife." Kakashi smiled to himself.

"You made her leave in record time, even without your wife backing you up," she praised.

Kakashi smiled, thinking of an entirely different person in his life, though still very important. "I have a lot of practice pushing people away who are more resilient than her." Then Kakashi said, "oh." Roka was wandering off again. "Excuse me."

Kakashi did a quick stride across the playground to catch up with his son, who was running away and looking back to see if his Daddy was following. He gave Kakashi a big grin every time but didn't slow down.

Then Roka tripped and immediately went into the crawl position to rub an eye with one fist. "Getting tired?" Kakashi asked, scooping his son up. He put Roka on his hip with an arm under his bum and the boy automatically wrapped his arms around his Daddy.

Roka stretched out one hand toward a tree. "Eat?"

"Sure, we can eat over there," Kakashi agreed to the suggestion. He strolled them both over to the mother of twins. "We're going to have a snack, would you like to join us?" They'd hardly gotten beyond small talk and that seemed a shame. He and Mei always had each other to talk to, but who did this woman have?

She smiled, pleased to be invited, but turned and looked to her sons, who were racing each other down the slide. "Thank you, but no. It's easier to feed them at home."

Kakashi nodded. "I understand. Thank you, for the chat." He started to turn away but paused. He spoke loudly to be sure she heard. "Isolation," he lingered on the word, "is only easier in the short term. Believe me, I know."

She stared at him for a moment and smiled again. She signaled to her boys and they looked up. She pointed to the tree, where Kakashi and Roka were already heading, and spread her hand to show five fingers. Then she went to sit under the tree with the Hatakes. The older boys joined them for a snack five minutes later. Despite her plans to feed her children at home, her bursting diaper bag always had snacks just in case.

000000

After the other family went home, Kakashi thought about how parent-friendly the Leaf wasn't. He was learning all of these new needs for a branch of society he hadn't occupied until now. Naruto was Hokage and had young children but maybe he wasn't aware of the need. The Konoha Eleven pooled their babysitting resources and had nearly inexhaustible caregiver options for their children but not every family had that luxury. There were several initiatives in place for their orphans but where do parents that need help turn? His father crossed his mind, not for the first time since Roka was born. Kakashi had gotten by taking care of himself but that didn't mean other children should have to. Every generation had their mistakes, some they solved themselves and some they had to leave to the next generation to sort out.

Kakashi stretched out on their picnic blanket as he pondered it out. Roka, after getting to play with the big boys and the twins, laid out on his belly and fell asleep. Kakashi looked at his son's tiny face turned to the side, his lips parted in content restfulness. Roka was so big compared to his infant brother but so small out in the wide world.

Fierce love warmed Kakashi's heart, seeing this little person he and Mei were raising. Kakashi doubted his ability constantly but maybe he could do this, be both a good parent and a good ninja. He'd lived so much of his life on a razor's edge, expecting to die any day, making no plans. Now, in his retirement, his whole life had another facet, opening up before him like an endlessly blooming flower. He was a father and no longer the last Hatake.

Kakashi was daunted by the idea of fatherhood if he thought about it too hard, much like when he thought about being Hokage. He reached out and stroked his son's hair, so much like his own and his father's. Fatherhood was like being a sensei, as in he learned as he went. Did he have his life together when he took on either of those responsibilities? No. But, if Kakashi had waited until he had all of his personal problems solved before taking on something new, he would have literally done nothing with his life after age five. He worked with what he had.

Kakashi may have, admittedly, been a mediocre sensei but he'd protect his students with everything he had. Similarly, Kakashi may never be a GOOD father, but he could take care of his children. It would be like perpetual guard duty over the most important clients he'd ever had. Kakashi could be a guard for his family, that and love them.

Author's Note: Hey guys, I know it's been awhile. I have been posting stories (Kakashi and Mei stories even) just not necessarily on this one so if you're interested go check those out. Sorry if it got heavy at the end. Parenthood shouldn't be taken lightly but it's very rewarding.

Takes place between Diaper Duty and Thunderstorms if anyone is keeping track.