Chapter 9.
Supreme Commander Ikari's office. 1:36 P.M.
"...And that's where he and I left it," Kaji said, standing a bit awkwardly far from Commander Ikari's slab of a desk. "I told him I would consider it."
Even though he'd been in this exact position several times before, he'd never really taken into account just how strange this environment was: simultaneously minimalist and maximalist, with no reason to be as big or as empty as it was. Seriously, what the hell's the point of all this empty space?
Kaji also noted Fuyutsuki standing tall at Ikari's side, and another strange thought popped into his head. Kōzō Fuyutsuki was a legitimately nice and fairly normal guy. Kaji had nothing against him, and found him a comforting presence when dealing with the enigma that was Commander Ikari. But in the moment, he found something particularly off about the Vice Commander.
I've never seen this man sit down. Ever.
"So," Kaji continued, without pausing to let either man know that he was having such a rich internal monologue, "I request permission to inspect this secret laboratory with Ashcroft and Major Katsuragi. I won't let Doc out of my sight for even a second, and the Major will keep him in line when I can't."
He kept a calm, assured smile on his face, completely obscuring his rampant thoughts.
No, seriously, does Fuyutsuki know what a chair is? Is he able to lie down? Does he sleep standing upright?
"Permission granted, Inspector," Commander Ikari responded, voice as monotonously menacing as ever. "Report your findings as soon as possible - and have Major Katsuragi file a separate report for the purpose of redundancy."
"She's going to be real happy about that," Kaji joked. His position afforded him a great deal of leeway when it came to being sarcastic around the higher-ups; sadly, the humor was seemingly lost on all of them.
"That will be all, Inspector Kaji," Commander Ikari promptly said. Not even a hint of acknowledgement at the joke. "You may go."
"...I'll be off, then," Kaji replied, sending the Commanders a weak wave of his hand before turning to leave the room.
Once he'd exited, and the automatic door slid closed behind him with a loud 'hiss,' Kaji let his shoulders droop, and let out a deep sigh. He was tired, though he wouldn't admit it to anyone. His inner monologue shifted from amusing observational commentary to a more thoughtful, more somber reflection.
The things I do for these people.
He found himself craving the taste of a cigarette. Or three.
"Well..." he said aloud — and his sentence trailed off as he began walking.
Fuyutsuki hadn't slept well the past few days. Worry and old age, as it turned out, didn't mix. He'd noticed a few more wrinkles on his face and occasional subtle aches in his lower back and ankles. He didn't like to complain, and he had no one to complain to - but trying to be strong and hold firm wasn't working as it usually had.
With Kaji now away from the Commander's office, Fuyutsuki spoke to Ikari without so much as turning his head. Making eye contact was not usually part of his routine with Gendō; after this many years, the two had wordlessly decided that it wasn't as important between them.
"So, then. What do you think that laboratory holds?"
"Not much worth saving," Gendō replied. "A tool to stop the creature carrying the Third Child is all that's necessary. Our plans do not require anything beyond what we already have at our disposal."
Fuyutsuki made a point to keep his expression neutral. Nonetheless, he felt a pang of disappointment every time Gendō referred to the Eva pilots by their numbers, not their names.
At least say Shinji's name, he thought. I know you are who you are, but he's still your son.
"Do you think SEELE will use this incident as an opportunity to make a move?" he asked.
"We would know already if they were going to try something," Gendō said. "This incident may even prove a setback for them. For the good of the public, resources must go towards stopping this creature - and whatever resources they give to us, we use to buy more time."
"More time for us to bring Shinji back to health," Fuyutsuki added, with a small nod of his head.
"No," Gendō said without hesitation.
Fuyutsuki at that moment did turn his head to look at the Commander. "'No'?"
"More time for us to continue with our current plans," Gendō continued. "You know that we've never needed the full operating budget to maintain the Evangelion units, Fuyutsuki. We ask for more than we need, and use the surplus for our own research."
"I'm... aware, Commander," Fuyutsuki said, "but rehabilitating one of our pilots also requires—"
"The Third Child," Gendō interrupted, standing from his seat, "is now no longer necessary for us to achieve our goal. We have other means."
Fuyutsuki let his façade slip, furrowing his brow in disbelief and disgust. "Gendō, he's your son! To leave him unable—"
"Vice Commander Fuyutsuki." Gendō turned his head toward Fuyutsuki. "I trust that you have not lost sight of what we have worked so hard for. The Children are a means to an end."
"Sir, I haven't forgotten," Fuyutsuki replied, "but..."
Silence fell. Fuyutsuki faced forward once more, straightening his back.
"My apologies, Commander. Please disregard what I just said."
"I will, Vice Commander," Gendō coldly said, sitting back down.
Fuyutsuki took a deep breath.
"I understand our mission. Please forgive me. I think... Perhaps my age is starting to catch up with me. If you'll allow me, I'd like to take a walk around the GeoFront; I think some fresh air would give me peace of mind."
"Very well," Gendō said. "Feel better, old friend." There was no concern or warmth in his words. Nothing to suggest that they were or once had been friends.
Without saying anything, Fuyutsuki left the room.
NERV Mobile Command Center, near Kanagawa Prefecture Route 75. 1:38 P.M.
The M.R.E. storage compartment within the Mobile Command Center featured a wide array of dishes, including a curry that was supposedly pretty decent. Misato didn't feel like trying any of them.
She had to eat, of course. The last time she'd consumed solid food was on Thursday morning, and even then it had only been a few morsels. Though now officially discharged from the hospital (as a formality) and back to standing on her own two legs, she was weak, and she needed food. Her stomach was growling.
Her tastebuds, on the other hand, were not having it. The aftertastes of bad coffee, blood, hospital smell, and failure all coalesced together in her mouth to form a flavor-like sensation that made eating anything seem like the most unpleasant experience in the world at that moment.
The battle of wills continued for a few seconds until Misato heard the sound of somebody vomiting from a nearby medical tent. Fearing that she herself might succumb in such a way from a lack of food, Misato grabbed a bag of the supposedly-good M.R.E. curry from the storage. She peeled open the resealable packaging and peered inside to find freeze-dried nuggets of an indeterminate reddish-brown substance. It didn't look too appetizing, but it smelled like real curry. That was the only impetus Misato needed to pick up one of the chunks and pop it into her mouth.
It did, in fact, taste halfway decent. Maybe.
"You're actually supposed to heat that—"
Misato sharply turned her head to look at Ritsuko, who then promptly stopped talking.
"...Sorry." The blonde averted her eyes in embarrassment.
Misato exhaled through her nose. The nugget of freeze-dried curry had dissolved just enough inside her mouth that she was able to swallow it before speaking.
"It's alright. I just... don't want to put in much effort right now."
Ritsuko wordlessly nodded, and went back to eating from her own packet of heated M.R.E. curry with a plastic spork.
The two friends stood and ate their respective 'meals' in silence for close to a minute before Misato's cell phone buzzed. The Major checked its caller I.D., and not even a second after, she flipped the phone open with one hand to take the call.
"Yeah," she flatly answered.
"Hey, I'm sorry I couldn't call earlier," Kaji's voice said from the other end in a sympathetic tone. "I was overseeing the interrogation, and we were getting nowhere. But we have a lead on how to help Shinji."
Misato's eyes widened. "What is it?" she asked.
"Ashcroft has a secret lab under the Teiyo warehouse," Kaji replied. "He's willing to show us the way, if you're okay to come along."
"Tell me where to meet you," Misato said.
"No need," Kaji said, "I'll come pick you up. You're still by the tunnel, right?"
Misato nodded out of habit before realizing she was on the phone. "Yeah. Just let me know when you're close by."
"Alright. See you soon, Katsuragi."
Misato hung up without a proper farewell, then turned back to Ritsuko. "Kaji has a lead. He's going after it."
"And you're going with him," Ritsuko said.
Misato sighed. "Look, I know that I should be here—"
Ritsuko raised a hand to gently interrupt Misato. "It's okay. Maya and I know what to do if you're not around. You need to be where you need to be."
Misato, relieved that she wasn't going to get a Ritsuko lecture right this minute, weakly smiled and nodded — then suddenly dropped her M.R.E. bag to give Ritsuko a hug. Ritsuko stood still, rightfully surprised, but then wrapped her own arms around Misato.
"But finish that curry first," she then said. "You need more in your stomach."
Misato snorted. "You ruined the moment."
Ritsuko smiled. "I know."
The valley around him was quiet as he rested beneath the tallest tree cover that he could find. The afternoon sunlight gently filtered through the leaves to cast a beautiful pattern upon the ground. It looked almost like a starry sky.
In that moment, he felt calm again — calm enough to remember.
The memories were incomplete, but they were there. There were some bad memories, of course, but the ones that he could see most vividly were the good ones. The happy ones.
Stepping inside Dark-Haired Woman's home for the first time. Coming back to her home after saying how sorry he was, and her forgiving him. Seeing Pale Girl smile for the first time. Seeing Red-Haired Girl smile when she was teasing him. Seeing Tall Boy and Skinny Boy smile and laugh.
Hearing words he hadn't heard before that sounded nice:
"You did well, Shinji."
His father had said those words.
His father who... His father... His father—? His father— father— father father father sad sad sad sad angry angry angryANGRYPAINPAINPAINPAINHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATE—
The happy memories were gone. The good feelings were gone. The sunlight and shadows on the ground no longer looked like a starry sky. Everything — everything — was red. Like the color of blood.
—HATEHATEHATEHATEHATEKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILL—
He could do nothing but scream.
[A/N: My dear followers and favers, thank you SO SO MUCH for being so patient! As it turns out, 2023 was not the best year for productivity, either. Since that last update more than a year ago (!), however, I've been doing much better. I've made tremendous progress on some original projects, started going back to the gym, and gone out of my comfort zone and experienced the world more. All of that has brought me back to this project and reminded me of the love I have for Evangelion and the reason I wanted to write this so much in the first place. I thank you for being with me, and I look forward to seeing you next chapter. I promise that this time, even if it takes a bit to update, it will NOT take almost a year-and-a-half (lol). Cheers!]