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His fingers twitched for the umpteenth time as he waited. Waiting, in most instances, is an activity he deemed an evitable waste of time. Waiting from ordinary setting perspective is a matter of hours worth of temporal affair while in mission every second holds a power over the process of achieving the desired result. Only in missions did he find waiting worthwhile, worth every second of his time.
Even as he produced zero movement and looked as though he wasn't exerting any of his energy supply, his arteries pulsed with every beat of his heart that felt exceptionally amplified and his ears perked up to virtually imperceptible signals in the deafening silence. Sweat beads squeezed out of his pores uncaring of the ruthless wind of the dawn that called for a noncommittal shift to one of his muscles had he spared the will to have concern about the soreness he should have sensed already.
He couldn't care less about a mere soreness.
The adrenaline rush that came with waiting was one of the very scarce things that made him alive after all.
Spiraling tomoe on crimson eyes zoomed in miles away to the north. His eyes had caught sight of what had transpired, had perceived what had been fulfilled. Gradually, all tension that grew on his every cell evaporated to open air once he'd had his subjective conclusion, but the remnant still endured in domination until what was subjective confirmed otherwise.
Enduring branches groaned under Devil Ray's feet as he stealthly manoeuvred through the forest to reach him, letting loose of its one or two leaves in his wake.
The much awaited message reached his ear in a whisper just as another breeze settling in to travel towards east, bringing with it all the tension of that night's masked warriors.
The Captain raised his right second and third fingers, then with a dip of his head, the fingers flicked twice towards west—towards home. Devil Ray candidly exhaled and with a much less candidness gave his courtesy before setting off to distribute the order.
With the white haired right hand gone, Sasuke finally released a relaxed breath. The red of his eyes dimmed into shades of coal as they swept across the whole span of night life in front of him.
Hours perched on the same branch and situated even longer in this very clearing, he had failed to see it earlier, had failed to capture what the complexities of the universe had bestowed upon the night for the eye to consume.
Alone, the night was already beautiful.
With the moon on her full reveal, it was otherworldly.
A mere blink was the most wasteful in the presence of such sight.
To be able to think in such a way, there was no better explanation other than the fact that he was that mesmerized.
Mesmerized to the moon… or the fact that it effortlessly reminded him of her eyes—
of her.
…It was like looking at a pair of moons. Bare, with their craters visible to naked eyes, shady bowl-shaped depressions on otherwise pristine surface.
"Hyuuga."
The experience of looking at her eyes felt different each time. Because each time, it felt as though one layer was down only to meet another one beneath. Not unlike a grand pursuit to dig what was hidden inside many outer layers of the earth as the objective.
The first time, out in the open—with rattled Alphas unbeknownst to them already on the move to what was left of her heat—aided by the moonlight itself, to his eyes, they were a pair of ghostly despair. He only got the sense of despair, but even if someone told him it was just his eyes making it seemed like despair that he should see he would without a doubt believe them.
The second time, inside the room of more others—between unsuspecting Alphas and Betas that sure would easily turn into the opposite had he not acted on his intuition—aided by indoor lighting, to his eyes, they were a pair of lavender pool of guarded surprise. She was surprised, that much he could tell. But her reaction was guarded, it was merely a leak.
This wasn't the third time, because he had had all the chances he could get to look at her eyes all through the day and night. But this was as good as the third time since he had been too absorbed with the feeling she was making him feel and now was the time for him to actually see.
They were rid of such ghostly despair and neither of such guarded surprise. What he saw were a solid form of hope and unguarded worry; glistening moon with its craters.
"Y-yes?"
Soon, they would devoid of them too.
"Stay away from me as far as you can if you don't want to be exposed as an Omega. If you still want to be an Anbu…"
He rambled on and on and it felt like his spirit was hovering between them and he just watched whatever his body decided to say. The physical Sasuke spilled the words automatically like how his spirit form had imagined them in his head. He really couldn't follow what were being said, or what the hell had been said, until he heard nothing more.
For a moment, they stood there unbudging, unblinking, the moons were slowly losing their craters.
Her lips moved, she was saying something. He still heard nothing.
What was she saying?
Her last name was already at the tip of his tongue. Remembering that he had liked the feel of his name in her voice and sensing that there wouldn't be another chance if he didn't do it now, he opted to be a selfish bastard that only care for himself and himself alone.
"Hinata."
He didn't know whether it was a good or bad choice. Once her name escaped his lips, his lungs constricted at the loss as if her name was the air the pair of organs desperately needed.
Hinata.
Hinata.
He so damn wanted to call her name again.
And again.
And … again.
But he didn't.
When her moon-like eyes widened and a single tear escaped the corner of her left eye, his chest burned at the realisation that he was slowly losing any evident of the craters he once had the privilege to see. He had been singlehandedly putting all those layers back even without her having a hand in it.
He felt like he couldn't continue.
But he did nonetheless.
"I am the one you should be most afraid of. You just don't know yet what I am capable of doing to you."…
How much I am capable of ruining you.
Sasuke inhaled sharply.
That was it. That was why. Because he acknowledged his capability in ruining her that he chose what he had chosen.
What did he gain by indulging in past memories? Past memories of the summer that he could no longer seize back in this cool of autumn. Everything had been set in stone, no chance for a reconsideration.
None at all.
He had regretted nothing.
He couldn't start regretting now.
…Except that he already had.
He hadn't, had he?
Regardless how it might have already turned out, he preferred not to say. He preferred not to put a name into this sensation of perpetual tightness in his chest and constant sinking in his gut.
Sasuke were gradually becoming aware of the odd lingering look from Devil Ray as his current internal turmoil came to a temporary halt. He hadn't said a word ever since the white haired answered to his summon in his office so he certainly deserved such a bleak courtesy.
Yet, he felt a fleeting but heavy sense of déjà vu, because the last time they were together in a mission, which was a couple of weeks back, Suigetsu had given him the same look.
The same look he displayed whenever Juugo was not himself even though the big man himself remained reluctant to acknowledge the occurring shift.
Once, Juugo had thanked Sasuke for being able to recognise his shift in the prodromal phase and took control of it before any damage could take any form. For the longest time, even Sasuke had always believed in it.
He had been wrong though. Even before he could recognise any miniscule change in Juugo's presence, it took several months later for him to realise that Suigetsu had had that look even long before. But since he couldn't do anything about it, he didn't say a word.
Still, he sensed it first nonetheless.
In this case, more than often Sasuke would look at Suigetsu first after a notable trigger to keep in mind whether he should take action immediately or not. It worked every single time.
It ushered Sasuke to come to a conclusion that Suigetsu was an excellent judge of character—of people. The way he regards someone with the eye is an easy give away of his view about their true disposition which were always accurate.
Sometimes he used him to know where to place someone new in his personal category of people. He would silently look for Suigetsu's judgement and believed it like a rule. Even after all the years they'd known each other, his decision to utilize his comrade's ability long-term had never disappointed him.
Weeks ago on their mission, Suigetsu didn't act unlike himself. This day was no different. With him being the object of assessment, he had trouble admitting that Suigetsu had acutely looked through him.
Sasuke was about to regard his presence verbally when Suigetsu decided he'd had enough of this hovering silence.
"You're assigning me to reconnaissance party," he started, stressing the word 'party' and letting a moment of silence linger to ensure his point get across, before he continued. "Again."
Sasuke was tempted to counter immediately but knew better the white haired wasn't finished.
"This, for sure, would take weeks and I really can't take another weeks-worth of mission when I was just dismissed from the same order five days ago!"
With only the desk separating them in literal sense and in the sense of their professional positions, Sasuke could notice the twitch on Suigetsu's left eyebrow easily.
He wasn't quite… finished.
"Your last mission was the one with me, right? You don't get to long missions consecutively like we first rankers and below, so you will never get it. But even as a Beta I know enough that this isn't healthy. But, well, you're the captain."
Suigetsu ended his rant with a click of the tongue and Sasuke could only muster a single counter to regard all of his protests at once.
"You're the one I could trust it with," he uttered honestly.
Pursed lips flattened into that of confusion. Silence lingered between them for a moment short as confusion gradually morphed into that of comprehension. It didn't get past Sasuke the way the swordman had quickly grasped it.
"I'm going to trust you with this the second time."
Suigetsu blinked. It was pretty obvious he didn't expect whatever assumption he might have already had was indeed the actual truth. "Don't tell me… it's her?"
When Sasuke didn't say a word to that, he tried taking control of the conversation.
"I know it wasn't just a coincidence that I got assigned to two reconnaissance parties consecutively with her."
His almond shaped eyes held so many questions into their indigo depth, but before any of them could take any form, Sasuke laid down his last resort.
"Do me a favor."
With gaze that calmly implored in contrast to the overbearing aura of an Alpha that Sasuke couldn't really control, Suigetsu stepped back and his gaze softened.
He had looked through him again. He had looked through his distress.
"You know what? Whatever. I won't let her die."
Sasuke couldn't help the breath that needed a release. "Thank you, Suigetsu."
"Yeah, make sure to double my paycheck."
Captain Uchiha smirked. "Already did."
Author's Note :
I didn't think the last chapter would cause such a stir, I think it's the most heated responses I got from readers. Well, I can understand some of you might not appreciate the previous chapter(s) or what actually looks like an unnecessary recaps, I appreciate all the feedback nonetheless, mainly for those who have been very supportive and staying positive.
Next chapter is the pinnacle why I needed to write Sasuke's pov in such details until I get to this point of the story, which I hope is smooth and making sense. Why didn't I integrate both povs is simply because I want to. If I succeed, this will be your last chance to experience their limited third person pov, because after Sasuke's chapters I'll be changing pov again (you'll find out soon enough). So. why I started with Hinata's pov and then Sasuke's is because this is what has been the goal from the start.
This chapter and the next two chapters were supposed to be one chapter but I had to split them to three to match this story's average word count. Expect an update next week for the second third.
-Crowds