«Saturday, November 20th, 2004»
«Dear diary,I know it's been a while since I filled in your pages, but I wanted to talk to you about an issue that has to do with Light. For some reason, I feel very confused about his condition, but also my feelings towards him.Based on logic, any girl my age would feel connected to her boyfriend. It's not uncommon for young girls like me. But ever since this night has passed, Light has been acting cold and unfriendly towards me. And it's not only that. I think as time passes, my feelings get stronger for him without any particular reason... We're just a normal couple in love. Why I feel so... "obsessed" with him?Three days ago, I waited for Light to come back from university. It was almost half-past ten in the evening, but I didn't worry much. I thought he could be hanging out with his friends after the lesson. I wanted to stay awake so I can surprise him easily, but I was so tired, that my eyes started closing automatically. The next morning I found out he still hadn't returned home and I started worrying that something bad happened to him. Or worse cheating on me. Then I saw him unlocking the door and walked into the vestibule. I jumped onto his arms and hugged him tightly, relieved that he wasn't hurt. I asked him where he has been all night and told me he returned. I just didn't realize it because I was sleeping. He also told me he saw me unlocking the door because he went to throw the trash.The question, however, remains. Are the words that I heard from Light true or my worries were true instead? In other words, did my instinct try to warn me about Light's actions?Later, Light told me he has a lesson at nine o'clock in the morning, and I tried to sound cute in order to make him get me what I want. We're in a relationship after all! He has to make some concessions too!That being said, he told me this thing has stuck in my head. It's exactly what he said: "Could you please take care of my clothing? Some of them need to be washed. You will wash them or the washing machine will"He sounded cold, but that's just his way of speaking. The thing is, he sounded sexist. I never thought he could have such perceptions for women. And not only he sounded sexist, but he told this to me! To his girlfriend! The only love of his life! The queen of his heart! That's what he always says to me!Anyways... Somehow I agreed in washing his clothes, no matter what I told to him. I was confused by this statement, so making my cute voice, I told him I'm not his maid and that he should take care of himself and settle down for a little. And he answered with another bitchy statement: "I would do the laundry on my own, but since I have a girlfriend, you will"Then he grabbed the toast I had prepared for him before he comes back, took his jacket and school bag, and just left without greeting me!I thought that there's definitely something wrong with him. He was acting weird since the last day. He seemed like something bothered his mind. Like he's been in trouble with something. Why he didn't share it with his girlfriend? I'm supposed to be the person he's trusting and wouldn't be ashamed of telling me what's going on in his head!Sometimes I think Light is just immature. He does things that not even a 12-year-old would think of. Speaking about the current situation. Just because he was a good student in school, his parents thought he could have everything a young adult has in America. Like, going to college, getting a girlfriend, getting a great job, going to parties every night, and all that stuff... He's not even an adult yet! Japanese are legally adults at the age of 20, not 18! What is wrong with the world nowadays?Later, when I left home to do my morning shopping, I met Yumiko at a café and talked for a while about Light, since she's the person I trust the most and could give me some advice. I told her everything that happened with Light and after some discussion, she told me he may have another girl in his life. That was one of my first thoughts, that he may be cheating on me. But when I heard this from Yumiko's lips, I felt offended somehow. Like she offended Light. At that moment, I felt like I had to protect him from any harm, verbal, physical, and sexual. I don't mean someone's going to rape him, but if Yumiko's theory proves, I'm going to kill this girl... Literally!No, no I wouldn't! Misa would never go this far! She's not a psychopath killer! She's not Kira! She's a good and sweet girl. She just cares about her boyfriend too much. That's it! I just have to calm down, erase the negative thoughts and everything will be okay... If I ever start having these thoughts again, I'm going to see a psychiatrist. Thus, I will escape the court and the prison bars.»
Misa was writing in her diary all her thoughts about Light and how he treated her as well. He wanted to specially summarize her thoughts, so she can avoid possible murder. If she theoretically kills the girl, it means she's Kira, right? But she hasn't killed anyone before unless she doesn't remember herself murdering people.
Her thoughts got interrupted when Light entered her apartment. She closed the notebook and ran onto Light's arms. She jumped with such a force, that he was thrown to the floor. Light looked at her with disgust, though he tried not to show it. He cursed her within him.
The fuck is wrong with her? He thought.
"Light, I'm so happy you came back!! I wanted to talk to you about a very important issue that concerns us as a couple. That is, we need to have the so-called «The Talk» when couples want to see where their relationship is going"
"Misa... I just came. It's already noon and I want to have lunch. It was a really tiring day, and I need to study for Monday's test"
"Study as much as you want, but this conversation is very important and it's not a joke!" She squeezed him.
"Okay, but let me just wash my hands! You know I can't stand the feeling of bacteria!"
She let him get up and Light shook his clothes, so the dust can fade.
"You're such a microbiophobic!" Misa commented.
Light ignored her ironic comment and gently took off his shoes, so they won't get dusted. As usual, he led to the bathroom to carefully wash his hands. He always liked to keep himself clean after all. He let his hands be stroked by the crystal clear water of the faucet.
The Talk? I've never heard of this before. I have been tolerating with her for a year and she hasn't asked me such a thing so far. They do this to see where their relationship is going? Did she figure out I'm dating Takada? Nah... Probably not. She loves me as Kira and not as Light. What an irony... Now that she has lost her memories.The university student thought. He let a smirk smile be formed on his face.
As it goes, it becomes more and more interesting!
"So, Misa... What is so important that you wanted to talk to me about?" Light asked while he was eating the lunch Misa had prepared for him.
"Oh, well..." The girl felt awkward for a bit. She wanted herself to begin the conversation. Light started it instead. Which meant he understood why was that "talk" so important. How responsible of him!
"You said «The Talk» is important for most of the couples"
"That's right"
"Do you notice anything that might damage the relationship or something else that I have not taken into account?" He asked.
He seems pretty responsible for this! My suspicions may be proven wrong! Misa felt a warm relief surrounding her. Her orange eyes looked directly into Light's eyes ready to express her thinking to her significant other.
"As you already know very well, Light, in order to have an honest communication in a relationship, the couple must be sure if they want to live together with honesty, otherwise there is no reason for the relationship to exist"
Light nodded.
"Speaking theoretically right now, if you were to find another woman in your life, what would you find attractive on her?"
"I would never cheat on you, Misa. You know you're my only love" Light tried to sound tender and caring.
"I don't mean you're cheating on me, Light. Just think of it as a casual conversation. A conversation where you must be honest. That's «The Talk» about"
Light let the fork next to the plate think of a logical lie. The true answer is that he was never interested in being in a relationship, and didn't really care if the other girls in the university liked him. All he cared about was how to get back to work as Kira without the intervention of police and detectives. Misa and Takada were just his assistants. Not only Kira's assistants but also in bed. He had to be sexually active due to his young age.
"That's a difficult question. I mean... The question is easy. The answer is difficult"
"What do you mean by that?" Misa asked.
"Let's say I have to choose between two partners apart from you. The first one is not so smart, but wears inprovocative clothes on a daily basis, is incredible in bed, and does the laundry for me. The second one is smart. She doesn't have Einstein's IQ. She just has the average IQ person. We can say at this point she's pretty smart. She wears normal clothes, but her priority is not the bed, and also thinks the housework is not only her job but mine as well. In other words, the housework should be done by both of us.
"So, the conclusion is... If I was never in love with you, I would choose the first woman. I believe a man doesn't really care about a woman's social status. What would make my peers happy is a female body. If not anything else, being experienced in their adult life, and feel that they belong to women as human beings. I need to admit, I would be in the same category if I never fell in love with you, Misa. Don't take it personally though. I'm speaking hypothetically, just like you told me to do. Don't worry. I will never cheat on you. As long as your love and passion keeps me away from this brutal nature, everything's fine"
The blond girl stared at him without blinking her eyes. She tried to work these words on her mind. Based on logic, Light was speaking about himself hypothetically, and couldn't blame him for any comment he might have made. He was talking like a completely normal man. Especially for a Japanese man. She already knew how sexist Japan's society was. It was completely normal for him to talk like that.
The strange thing is that they had been in a relationship for a year. He had never shown to her a sign that made him sexist. Unless he did show and Misa just didn't remember. It seems she still had a lot to learn about him.
He's trying to tell me he loves me but has old-fashioned perceptions for women. Is he trying to tell me in a polite way that he wants me to do all these stereotypes? She thought.
"Well... To understand your words, Light. Are you trying to tell me that if we have never been together, you would end up with a stereotypical Japanese woman?"
"Absolutely"
He still says he loves me. Hm... I will take that scenario. And I will... Play with him. How rude of him to talk to me like that! Screw the Talk! This is better!
A bulb was lighted up in the young woman's head. As if an idea had sprung up in her mind out of nowhere.
"Then, let me ask you an easier question. Light! Who is Paulina Miller?"
Light's expression had turned from serious to the confused one.
"Paulina Miller?"
"Yes! That French woman, I saw you hanging out the other day in Akihabara!"
What the hell is she talking about? I know no one named Paulina Miller! I do have foreign friends, but not with this name. Seriously... What's wrong with her?
"It's not a problem that she's foreign, but what's the reason you were with her? You weren't trying to kiss her, were you?!"
Misa wasn't acting like herself at this point. She was being an actress in her own play. In this way, she would play with Light, as he did with her. He was being sexist towards her, and it seemed like he wanted her to act like an old-fashioned woman. Not directly of course, but indirectly. In a more decent way. So, she had now decided on point to... Get on his nerves. She will make him understand that he's acting in a way she doesn't like. In other words, make a psychological war with him.
This is what will make him love me more!She thought.
If he finally succumbs to my manipulations, he will fall at my feet and beg me. He will say "Misa, stop! I can't stand it anymore! I only love you! Only I want you to be near me!" Now, this is what we call entertainment! If a relationship doesn't have a little intrigue, how else will I break the daily monotony?
"Misa... I don't know anyone named Paulina Miller! I do have some foreign friends from the university, but I can tell you for sure that this name reminds me of nothing"
"Like I care! You're an absolute liar, Light! That tall brunette bitch was all around you and flirting with you! How handsome you are, how great abs you have, while rubbing your stomach, how sexy is your whole body, how beautiful is your face, etc. I know everything now Light! I saw everything!"
"You saw what, Misa? The void?"
"Go, then! Just go... She's now your new love, the new queen of your heart. Get out of my house and do whatever you want with her. I am now an unrelated party. I may have no place in your life anymore, but I will stay here and wait until your soul returns to mine! And if they are two souls to unite, let them unite after 300 years of the world's existence! Or until the cosmos continues to its destruction!"
These were Misa's lines of a part of her new movie. It was about a relationship between a girl and a boy around their 20's and that relationship now was going to be faded, after the girl finds out her boyfriend is not her dream boyfriend she thought. And as it seemed, Misa had get in the protagonist's mind, so she can understand how she feels and how she acts. And now, she had turned fiction into reality. Only for her own entertainment with Light.
Am an awesome actress! The script may be stupid, but that doesn't mean I won't turn it into reality! Watch me now, Light! You're going to accept me as I am, or I will make your life hell until we stop seeing each other! If you prefer those kinds of women, then forget it! You ended up with me, and you're going to be stuck with me!
Light kept his serious and half-confused look. He didn't seem like he cared for Misa's words or behavior, but on the other hand, he was surprised by her sudden actions.
The hell is wrong with her... Who cares? It'll pass... Light ignored her continuing to enjoy undisturbed his meal.
"You're right, Misa. A relationship must be sincere. For this, I will answer accordingly"
"Eh?"
"Yes. I know a specialist psychiatrist here in the neighborhood who specializes in such matters. Don't you go to examine yourself?" He replied with an obvious irony in his voice.
"So you're saying am crazy?!" She shouted still keeping her role alive.
"Am just saying you should have a refund of my relationship skills..." Light continued.
"A refund?! You want us to break up?!"
"You got me wrong. I do love you!" He tried his own acting skills.
"If you really love me, then why I spotted you with this bitch?!"
"Because simply there's no Paulina Miller!"
The whole conversation looked like it came straight from a movie scene. More like a sitcom. Light tried not to start laughing with this erratic behavior of Misa's.
"You know nothing, Misa"
"You are the one who knows nothing!"
She's so freaking annoying! Just let me eat quietly! I already have my own problems, I won't have one more!The male killer thought.
As you can see, this relationship will slowly lead to an end, simply because they're not honest with each other and the communication is erratic. Don't see it only as a fictional story. They're so many couples in real life who live with this attitude in their relationship. They think all their inner problems will be solved if they put themselves to «fall in love» Mostly girls think this way, but can be true for guys too.----And there's also a difference between being in a relationship and love each other, and just being there for sex. Which is what Light does. He loves nor Misa neither Takada. He wants to use his penis for his own sake! XD